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Now what?

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Name: Jen
Gender:
Age: 25
Location: Florida
I am a young and attractive female with a great personality and many friends, but when it comes to men… I just don’t get it. I date many guys, but I can’t seem to get a guy into a relationship. I wont have sex with a guy unless we’re a “couple”, but the men I date seem to be turned off by this fact and don’t stay in the picture for long. In the past, I would have sex with guys I dated, but it would always end as soon as a relationship was mentioned. Any tips on how to get a guy to stick around without having to put out?

Basically men are pigs, darling. They want what they want, when and how they want it. (And just for the record, you appear to be just like most men, right? You have a very strict notion about how things should be and you wanna have it just that way.)

Nowadays the men folk don’t think it’s necessary to commit to a relationship just to get laid. The marketplace, so to speak, is brimming over with less encumbered pussy.

Now, far be it from me to suggest that you change your behaviors or value system. But you might want to take a look at why you are using sex as a lure? Maybe you’re good in bed, but not great relationship material. Or it might be that you are simply fishing in the wrong hole, so to speak.

Try connecting with a good fundamentalist Christian boy or one of them fine Mormon missionaries that are always floating around in pairs. They’re generally cute as the dickens in their white shits and black ties. And they will probably have a similar outlook as you as to the proper place for sex.

However, you may also discover that men with more traditional values about sex also have very traditional notions about the place of women in a marriage. Ya know, like barefoot and pregnant. You may even find that one of these more traditional types will do you one better by insisting that there be no nookie till you convert and get married in the church or temple.

In other words, beware of what you wish for; you may actually get it!

Good luck

Name: Tessa
Gender: Female
Age: 33
Location: Sherman Oaks
My husband and I are taking our first tentative steps into the world of kink. Unfortunately, we really don’t know what we’re doing. Are there any good guides out there for the novice kinkster?

You betcha, darlin’! Let me call your attention to Dr Dick’s How To Video Library. Click on the Video On Demand tab in the header. This will take you to the library’s start page. Once inside you’ll find everything your little hearts could desire in terms of guides for the budding perv. In particular, I’d like to call your attention to the series put out by the ever popular, Nina Hartley.

Nina is one of the most recognized and respected people in the adult industry. She is as well known for her outspoken support of the industry as she is for her more than 600 adult titles. Nina established herself as one of the top porn stars of the 80’s. Her success continued strong in the 90’s when she did some of her best work. Today she uses her position as one of the world’s most popular adult stars to advocate sex education and sexual freedom among couples and singles.

Look for: Nina Hartley’s Guide To The Perfect OrgyNina Hartley’s Guide To Stripping For Your PartnerNina Hartley’s Guide To Sex For The Bi-Curious WomanNina Hartley’s Guide To Foot FunNina Hartley’s Guide To Strap-On SexNina Hartley’s Guide To SpankingNina Hartley’s Guide To Double PenetrationNina Hartley’s Guide to Sensual DominationNina Hartley’s Guide To Couples SexplorationNina Hartley’s Guide to Threesomes  and Nina Hartley’s Guide To Bondage Sex. Just to name a few.

These handy dandy guides demystifies the particular fetish, takes the time to explain why fetishes are alluring, and what to do when one is curious about how to play with that fetish. And the visuals…well they will tantalize and inspire.

If Missy Nina doesn’t cover the particular kink that you are looking for, just do a search for the particular fetish you’re curious about. You’ll find just about everything at Dr Dick’s How To Video Library. Try search terms like: bondage, discipline, role-play, tickling, tit play, costumes, cock and ball torture, fetish, cross-dressing, diaper and medical play. The list goes on and on.

And the best part of all of this is that you’ll be able to view these videos by the scene, or in their entirety. Heck, you can even download to own. And you do it all from the comfort and security of your own computer. Simply put there’s no better way to become a big fat pervert than indulging in Dr Dick’s How To Video Library.

Good luck

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Bloomin’ Brilliant!

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Hey there sex fans!

Welcome to another edition of Product Review Friday!

Despite the fact that we’ve been on spring break, the intrepid Dr Dick Review Crew never rests. In fact Review Crew member, Jada, apparently diddled herself senseless over the holiday. And she’s here to tell us what kept her so preoccupied.

Bloom —— $103.86

Jada
My husband and I went away for a long overdue romantic get away. It just so happened that it coincided with our Spring Break here at Dr Dick’s Sex Advice so we didn’t miss anything back home. We decided we needed a little fun in the sun so we headed south to warmer, dryer climes.

We packed light; because we decided we would do nothing more than lay around in the sun, read, eat, drink and make love. There were droves of collage-aged kids in the area and they were whooping it up with wild abandon. Ahhh youth! But you know what? I think my husband, Bob, and I, old fogies that we are, at least comparatively speaking, had more fun than all the college kids.

One of the reason we had so much fun is I remembered to packed the Bloom I got from Dr Dick. This amazing vibe is one of the Leaf collection. It is a 100% medical-grade silicone vibrator with multiple speed settings. It is beautifully crafted, waterproof, flexible, sharable, rechargeable and as about as GREEN as a sex toy can get.

The Bloom is aptly named, because it looks like bud on a stem. I’ve never seen a more interesting or functional design. There are two motors in the Bloom, one in the bud and one in the bulbous base. The bud, or head of the toy, is rounded, but with a slight point. This design allows for precise clitoral stimulation. The thin area of the stem, or neck of the toy, is flexible, allowing you to position both ends of the toy however you’d like. The dual motors provide equally powerful vibrations no matter which side you are using.

The controls are super easy to use. The Bloom can be used in so many ways, internally, externally, alone and with a partner. The non-threatening design — Bob does not welcome phallic looking vibes in our partnered play — makes the Bloom a natural for when we play together.

Bob loves using the Bloom on me. I love using it on him. And because of its flexibility, we both love to use it while we have intercourse. Both ends are insertable. Bob isn’t into prostate massage, but for those who are, the Bloom would make a very nice beginner butt plug. Of course, because the controller is in the base, one would have to set the vibration speed before inserting.

The silicone is velvety to the touch and easy to grip. Use only a water-based lube with beautiful vibe. A silicone-based lube will surely mar the finish.

The Bloom is a modest 6.75″ long. The bud, at its widest, has a 4.25” circumference. Its lightweight too, weighing in at just about one pound. There are two buttons on the control panel, each button controls a separate motor. Each button lights up when it is in operation and the lights will flash until you reach the highest setting. Each of the motors can be controlled individually as well as at the same time. The Bloom is super quiet too.

The Bloom contains a rechargeable Lithium-Polymer battery. A full charge gives you about an hour’s worth of vibration, on the highest speed. The recharger is basically a cord that plugs directly into an outlet. This is perfect for traveling.

The silicone skin makes for easy clean up. Warm water and mild soap will do for general clean up. However, if you plan to share this toy, and it should be shared, I recommend sanitizing it by wiping it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.

I think you can see that I am sold on the Bloom, but I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you about the beautiful presentation. Everything about the packaging is biodegradable. The cardboard box Bloom comes in is made of recycled paper. The look and feel is all GREEN. The box is fastened with a magnetically closing flap. Lift the flap, to open. Inside the box you will see a black packet, which contains the instruction manual presented in several languages. Below the user’s manual is a drawstring canvas bag containing the Bloom. The bag is thick and durable, excellent for storing this toy and keeping it safe. Under the canvas bag is the unit’s recharger. You can tell from every aspect of the presentation that the designers and developers were serious about the environment. Kudos to them!
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

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Sex EDGE-U-cation with bootbrush — Podcast #328 — 04/18/12

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Hey sex fans, welcome back.

We’re back from spring break with a bang! I have an extra special twofer show in store for ya today. My very edgy guest is here as part of both The Erotic Mind and the Sex EDGE-U-cation series. That means that this program will take a look at the world of fetish sex, kink and alternative lifestyles. And because today’s guest is also an author of some deliciously perverted erotica, I will be picking his brain about what makes erotic artists tick, so to speak.

I have the pleasure of welcoming a man with a remarkably unique erotic voice. He goes by the moniker, bootbrush. His brand-spankin’ new book — Assimilation; Tales of Transformation and Surrender, was just published days ago. So we will be among the very first people to hear about it. And if that weren’t thrilling enough, bootbrush will read from his work. I pretty much can guarantee you that this will knock your socks off, sex fans.

bootbrush and I discuss:

  • His moniker and how he got it;
  • His new book — Assimilation; Tales of Transformation and Surrender;
  • The power and passion of rubber;
  • Transformation, becoming a puppy;
  • The growing puppy play scene;
  • The book’s dedication;
  • The men in his life — his lover and his Master/Handler;
  • His sense of play and its importance;
  • How he hit upon rubber as his fetish object.

For more of bootbrush visit his website HERE! Find him on Fetlife HERE! And follow him on Twitter HERE!

(Click on the book cover below to buy bootbrush’s new book.)

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

drdicksstockroom.jpg

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Learning to ride

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Hey sex fans!

We’re all back from Spring Break. Did you miss us? We sure missed you. So ok, let’s get this ball rolling again with a timely question from one of my correspondents.

Name: Drew
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Location: Boise
I’m gay, I’m a virgin, and I think I may be afraid of sex. In all the porn I’ve seen, the bottom guy looks uncomfortable and in pain, why would I want that? I’ve only done anything sexual with one guy and I was so anxious that I couldn’t even get up. I liked the guy, he was hot, and I enjoyed all the fore-play type stuff, but I just couldn’t do anything else. Any advice on how to get over this?

First thing, don’t ever look to porn for your sex education; you will surely be misled. Second, that grimace that you report seeing on the bottom’s face as he is being penetrated, may be a grimace of pleasure not pain. I think you are projecting your own discomfort on the guys in the movies.

Let me tell you a little story. The other day I was walking in the park with Ginger the dog. Actually, I was trying to walk like a normal person, but she was pulling me along like a maniac. We were both, in our own way, enjoying some beautiful spring weather and the sights, sounds and smells nature in its glory. As we walked along we encountered a father and son who were seriously involved in what appeared to be the kid’s first lesson in riding a bicycle…without training wheels. Despite the father’s patient encouragement the kid couldn’t seem to get the hang of it. He would start out ok, but just as soon as his dad let go of the back of his seat the boy would wobble and eventually crash. There were plenty of tears, a skinned knee and the boy’s fear and anxiety was thick enough to cut with a knife. It was quite a scene.

The kid was convinced that he didn’t have what it took to ride on his own. His defeatism fueled itself and became a self-fulfilling prophecy. He finally gave up. Sat down on a bench, his bike in a tangle at his side, and refused his father’s pleading that he try again. In the kid’s mind the bike was the enemy another attempt would only hurt and humiliate, and so the lesson ended.

What the kid lacked was self-confidence, a sense of adventure and probably more importantly — balance. I wish I had had an opportunity to suggest to the boy and his dad, that they might try another ploy. I wanted to say, set the bike aside and work on that balance thing first. This would surely increase the boy’s confidence and it wouldn’t cost a blow to his ego or his knee. And it would be fun.

I would have suggested the dad start by helping the kid walk on 4” curb, balancing himself as he went. Then the dad could increase the challenge to include balancing on one foot, then the other. Once the kid discovered the power within him to accomplish these tasks, the bike could be reintroduced. The father would assist the boy in drawing upon his skill in balancing on the curb to master balancing on his bike.

The same will be true for you, Drew. Sex is nothing to be afraid of. Rather it is a skill that one learns. Some, obviously, take to it quicker than others, but everyone can learn a happy, healthy sexual expression that will build self-esteem and bring great pleasure.

I want you to start exploring and enjoying your bottom on your own. Like the kid in the park, you need to acquaint yourself with the powers that lie within you. He needed to find a sense of balance within himself; you need to find the Big Old Butt Pirate within yourself.

Most all of the discomfort in butt fucking is associated with your sphincter muscle trying to resist whatever it is being inserted in your ass. When this muscle resists to the point of spasm things can become very painful. So here’s what I want you to do.

  • First, before you start playing with your hole — relax. Just like the kid in the park would have needed to calm himself before attempting to balance on the curb. The same is true for you.
  • Take a relaxing shower, a warm bath, and/or try some deep breathing exercises to center yourself.
  • Have a ready supply of a water-based lube handy. Silicone-based lubes are swell for these exercises too. However, oil-based lubricants aren’t recommended for use with a condom.
  • Start with a little self-pleasuring. Stroke your dick with your lubed hand and get into your happy place.
  • Gradually slather some of that lube on to your balls and taint. With legs open wide find your hole and play with your rosebud. Gently massage the area around your asshole, but don’t side your fingers in just yet. Simply get used to the feelings of playing at the opening of your ass.
  • Let your play include the tip of your finger entering your ass.
  • If you do this while you’re stroking your cock, you will find that your hole will actually open and invite your finger. That’s the great thing about pleasuring one part of your body while learning to pleasure another.
  • Once you are comfortable with your fingertip inside, try pushing it in further and move it around a little. Try pushing it and pulling it out of your ass. Ya know, like finger-fucking yourself.
  • Find your prostate. It shouldn’t be hard to find if you’re all horned up. It will feel smooth and hard, like a flat stone.
  • Give that puppy a nice gentle massage. If you’re still stroking your wood, don’t be surprised if this prostate massage gets you to bust your nut. In fact, you will find that your prostate actually enlarges a bit and becomes more firm just as you are about to shoot.
  • As you jizz you will also notice that your sphincter muscle will tighten around your finger and pulsate with each squirt

Continue these self-pleasuring exercises until you are comfortable inserting a couple fingers in your ass. Then try a small vibrating dildo. In no time at all you will be ready to jump on your bike and ride…so to speak.

With these exercises behind you, no pun intended, the first time you actually fuck with a partner will be the incredible experience it is meant to be. If you encounter any discomfort you’ll know what to do — deep breathing to relax and priming your hole with a lubed finger or two.

  • First, attend to your personal hygiene. Make sure you’re clean inside. We don’t want any unsightly and embarrassing mishaps to mess up the big event.
  • Remember to take it slow. There’s no rushing pleasure. And you’ll be the one in charge of what goes in your ass, when and for how long.
  • Warm up with some foreplay, kissing, sucking, licking, rimming touching and massaging.
  • Have condoms and lots of lube near to hand.
  • While you’re warming up, start loosening up your ass with your lubed fingers, just like in your self-pleasuring exercises.
  • Once you’re comfortable offer your ass to your partner. Have him replace your fingers with his own. Try some swell finger-fucking first.
  • Once you’re relaxed and loose, lie on your side with your partner behind you. Have him slowly push his cock against your rosebud.
  • Try pushing out like you are trying to take a dump. This will help open up your sphincter for his entry.
  • As he enters you, have him stop so that you can breathe deeply. Give your ass the time it needs to adjust to the new sensations. If there’s pain or discomfort have your partner reverse course and go back to finger fucking before you proceed.
  • Make sure that your partner knows that if you ask him to stop; he will stop. Trust is very important in butt fucking.
  • As he fills you with his dick he will hit your prostate. This will send waves of pleasure through your body and signal your sphincter to open for even more.
  • You may find that you’ll even want to push your ass back to meet and engulf his cock.

By the time this happens you will happily discover that you are ridding your bike all by yourself. And you will be very happy.

Good luck

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Spring Break, Baby!

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We’ll all be on Spring Break till Monday 04/16/12.

springbreak

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