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Men, Depression and Sex

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As anyone who has been depressed will tell you, depression isn’t just about feeling blue.

Man and woman with pensive expression --- Image by © Ocean/Corbis

It is an incredibly complex condition which brings with it a whole slew of emotional, mental and physical symptoms with it. For men and women both, part of the problem can revolve around their sexuality – and this in turn can cause problems in a relationship at the time when the depressed person most needs the support.  Fortunately, there are ways to help treat this particular problem and restore intimacy and pleasure to a relationship.

Depression and Male Sexuality

It is common for both men and women to experience sexual problems as part of their depression – but the ways in which this presents itself can be different.  Healthline notes that in men, depression will often express itself as feelings of low-esteem, anxiety and guilt and this, in turn, can cause problems with erectile dysfunction, delayed orgasm, premature ejaculation or just a loss of interest in sex itself.

There is still a lot we just don’t know about exactly how depression affects the brain. But according to Net Doctor, researchers have learned that the chemical changes which take place when someone has this condition can lead to an increase in emotional withdrawal and low energy levels so that activities like sex, which require a connection to your partner as well as physical energy to perform, can become a challenge.  This can be hurtful for the person’s partner and make them feel unwanted or unloved, putting a strain on the relationship that can, in itself, be difficult to deal with.

To make matters worse, many antidepressants are notorious for their side effect of causing sexual dysfunction or loss of interest.  Included in this group are MAOI inhibitors, SSRI’s and SSNRI’s and both tetracyclic and tricyclic antidepressants. 

What to Do

So the long and short of it is, both depression itself and some of the treatments for depression can both put a damper on a guy’s sex life. So what are some solutions to the problem?

Get the Treatment You Need

Depression is not a choice that people make – and it is usually not a problem that goes away by itself. If you have not yet been diagnosed, talk to your doctor about the symptoms you are having and get started on a plan of care that involves the combination of medications, therapy and lifestyle changes that are right for you.

If you are already being treated for depression and suspect that your anti-depressants might be putting the kybosh on your sex life, find out if you can switch medications. While it might take a little time to take effect, there are some drugs which do not seem to effect one’s libido, including Wellbutrin and Remeron.

Exercise

Both Healthline and Everyday Health recommend regular exercise – preferably with your partner – as part of a program to help reconnect sexually. First, it gives you and your partner time together doing something enjoyable and this alone can be good for a relationship. It also helps to release feel-good chemicals like endorphins that help fight depression naturally and keeps you in good shape so that you feel good about yourself and the way you look. All this can go a long way to enhancing your sex life.

Take Your Time

According to Everyday Health, sex therapist Dr. Sandra Caron also has a few tips for couples who are struggling to overcome the barrier that depression has placed on their sives.  She recommends, first of all, that couples engage in more foreplay and other physical expressions of intimacy – hand holding, caressing, massage – before engaging in intercourse itself.  Depression tends to slow down all responses, so taking this extra time to achieve arousal can help enhance the pleasure for both partners.  She also recommends the use, if needed, of estrogen creams or lubricants and even erotica (like lingerie or sexy movies) to help sparthe mood.

Open Up

Probably the most important advice for men who are trying to reconnect with their partner sexually is to open up and communicate with your partner. This can be more difficult for men to do in general, but is even more of a challenge when it comes to talking about intimate issues like sexuality, desire and arousal. But being honest about how you are feeling and letting your partner know that it is the depression that is a problem and not a loss of interest or a loss of love can be an incredibly powerful way to overcome this challenges and get support from your loved one at a time when you need it the most.  Also, partners can be more understanding and supportive if they understand more about what is going on – otherwise, it is easy to interpret a low mood or lack of responsiveness as being hostile or unloving.

In short, depression is a difficult condition with a whole slew of symptoms that go far beyond just feelings of sadness or being blue.  And when depression begins to affect a person’s sexuality, this in turn can lead to a strain on intimate partner relationships.  However, while there are no quick solutions to this problem, getting on a treatment program that is tailored to someone’s individual needs as well as exercising regularly, spending time with a partner to engage in more foreplay and simply opening up and talking about the problem can all help to reignite the sexual spark in a relationship – and hopefully make the battle against depression that much easier.

Complete Article HERE!

The 22 Diseases You Can Heal With Passionate Sex

by Adina Rivers

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The infamous Woody Allen once said: “I don’t know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.” And oh boy was he right.

It might not be new to you that sex can heal physical and mental diseases, but did you really know that sex can play an important role in the healing of all the following diseases? Some were definitely new to me and I am in this game for quite a long time now.

It might not be new to you that sex can heal physical and mental diseases, but did you really know that sex can play an important role in the healing of all the following diseases? Some were definitely new to me and I am in this game for quite a long time now.

According to Wilkes University, making love twice a week releases an antibody called immunoglobulin A or IgA, which helps to protect the body against infections and diseases.

Check out the following list of 22 diseases you can fight with passionate love making:

#1 Sex protects against prostate cancer

Research suggests that frequent ejaculations (at least five times per week) in males reduces the risk of prostate cancer.

#2 Sex helps with keeping fit

There is nothing like having fun (and having pleasure) while playing sports! Making love is good for your heart activity. It also helps to naturally tone the muscles of the body. That seems hard to believe, but while making love you burn about 200 calories in half an hour. If you make love three times a week, you can burn up to 600 calories in total. And it’s much more engaging and fun than a diet!

#3 Sex relieves headaches

During sex, a hormone called oxytocin; it increases the level of endorphins, acting as a natural painkiller. The body then goes into a more relaxed state.

Many people notice that their aches and pains (headaches, cramps, etc.) disappear after sex.

#4 Sex helps fight depression

Women who have regular orgasms are generally more relaxed, less depressed, also physically and emotionally more satisfied.

Sex assists with creating better sleep patterns and relaxes nervous tension by producing, serotonin in the brain – which controls mood elevation.

#5 Sex keeps you young

Sex is one of the key components to looking at least 10 years younger than your age! In his book, “Secrets of the super young,” Dr. David Weeks, a psychologist at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital in Scotland, compiled the lifestyle of about 3,500 people, aged 18 to 102 years. Respondents were having sex at least three times a week and they all seemed to appear years younger than their actual ages. These beneficial effects have also been confirmed by numerous other studies.

#6 Sex protects against incontinence

In women, regular sex promotes exceptional health of the pelvic floor, thereby reducing the risk of age-related incontinence.

#7 Sex heals the mind

Making love is a welcomed pleasure of life, an offering where we share physical closeness and depth. Making love is a healthy desire of the body, heart and spirit that fills us with energy, tenderness and life. It’s a way of communicating with all your senses and feelings. A meeting place where creativity intersects, healing and peace.

#8 Sex makes you happy

People who are sexually active are generally happier (which is great for the immune system) and less prone to depression.

#9 Sex protects against insomnia

Lack of sleep has a negative impact on our daily lives. For insomnia, experts recommend, among other things, to quit alcohol and caffeine, watch TV less often and take a relaxing bath before going to bed. Making love can be added to this list of tips for sleeping well. Men fall asleep almost instantly after sex, and toxins released during the act have a tranquilizing effect on women.

#10 Sex protects against diseases of the skin

Making love regularly releases a flood of hormones in the body, called “hormones of happiness.” They contain testosterone. With age, testosterone levels decrease. So having sex provides a good level of testosterone in the body.

This hormone plays another important role: it keeps the bones and muscles healthy, not to mention the youthful appearance of the skin.

#11 Sex protects against breast cancer

Orgasm can help to prevent the onset of breast cancer. An Australian study suggests that breast stimulation in women releases a hormone called oxytocin. The precise study states due to oxytocin being released in large quantities during orgasm, frequent sexual activity could have a protective role against this type of cancer.

#12 Sex protects against cardiovascular disease

Sex is very beneficial for your heart. A study at Queen’s University Belfast shows that making love three times a week reduces by half the risk of heart attack or stroke. In women, sex increases the production of estrogen, known to fight against heart disease. And there’s good news for men too: another study published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health says that sex twice or more a week reduced the risk of fatal heart attack; 50% more compared to men who have sex only once a month.

#13 Sex improves esteem

It is known that as appetite increases eating; the more you have sex, the more you’ll crave it. To enhance sexual arousal, the body gives off a very large amount of pheromones, which, like an aphrodisiac, make you even more attractive for your partner.

Feeling wanted makes women and guys feel attractive and proves that it’s an excellent tonic for our self-esteem!

#14 Sex increases self-control

Having sex regularly soothes and reduces stress. It provides mutual fulfillment and self-confidence among both partners. A recent study in Scotland showed that sexually active people are more likely to keep their cool and manage stressful situations.

#14 Sex protects against Influenza and asthma

According to researchers, making love at least once or twice a week increases the production of antibodies (immunoglobulin A) that protects us from viral infections such as Influenza. Sex is a natural antihistamine: it fights asthma as well as hay fever.

#16 Having sex increases your lifetime

Sex not only makes you feel younger but research shows it can actually slow the aging process. When you reach orgasm, the body secretes DHEA (dehydroepiandrosterone or prasterone), a hormone known to improve the health of the immune system, while also repairing tissue that helps keep skin supple. DHEA also promotes the production of other hormones such as estrogen, which can prolong life by improving cardiovascular health. This indeed proves that sex truly rejuvenates!

A 1981 study showed that the mortality rate among those over seventy years was lower among men who were still sexually active …

#17 Sex invigorates your pelvis

Kegel exercises involve contracting and relaxing the pelvic muscles. Experts recommend that women practice kegels every day to prepare for the demands of pregnancy. However, in order for results to be effective, your pelvic muscles must be exercised daily. Fortunately, there is another way to strengthen these muscles. In fact, without realizing it, making love tones your pelvis. And the more the muscles are toned, the greater the pleasure during sex is.

#18 Sex helps to protects women against mental illness

According to a study, sperm, when absorbed by a woman, assists with regulating her hormones and thereby reducing the risk of mental illness.

#19 Sex heals back pain

It has been shown in studies that vaginal stimulation has the effect of increasing tolerance to pain. Self-stimulation of the clitoris also exerts an analgesic effect. According to researchers, this type of stimulation can relieve pain caused by menstrual cramps, arthritis, back pain and various other ailments.

#20 Sex and kissing protects against cavities

Kissing each day keeps the dentist away. Saliva cleanses and decreases the level of acid which causes cavities and prevents against dental plaque.

According to a French study, analgesic, in saliva, called Opiorphin relieves physical pain and inflammation-related pain.

#21 Sex assists with easing the symptoms of Sickle cell disease

During intercourse, the heart beats faster and thus increases the oxygen level in the blood and the rate of blood flow. These two natural responses help to prevent sickling of red blood cells and thrombosis.

#22 Sex contributes to overall happiness

The moments of pleasure and affection that we share with our partner remains invaluable. These moments of close intimacy strengthen your relationship with your partner and with yourself.

Economists from the University of Warwick had fun comparing how sex and money contributed to happiness. After interviewing 16,000 people, the main finding is that those who are happiest are also those who have sex the most. And the impact appears to be stronger among individuals with higher levels of education. In addition, a higher income…

Complete Article HERE!

Study shows impaired sexual health and function common after heart attacks

New research from the University of Chicago investigates what happens to men’s and women’s sexual function and relationships after a heart attack in an effort to help clinicians develop better care guidelines for patients. The study, published in JAMA Cardiology, shows impaired sexual function or new problems are common after heart attacks. They occur at the same rate as a loss of general physical function and at a higher rate than the incidence of depression after heart attack, but rarely do health care providers address these issues – particularly with women.

heart attack

“Too often physicians and researchers are too embarrassed to ask questions about sexual health, and yet these issues are important to many people,” said Harlan Krumholz, MD, professor of medicine at Yale and director of the Center for Outcomes Research and Evaluation, one of the authors in charge of the study. “We need to concern ourselves with gaining knowledge about how to help our patients achieve a high quality of life in all aspects of their lives.”

The data show that if a physician talks to the patient about sexual health and function after a heart attack the patient is more likely to resume sex. However, women were less likely to be counseled by physicians on what to expect and more likely to have problems with sexual function as they recover. More than half of women (59%) and less than half (46%) of men reported sexual function problems in the year after a heart attack.

“The next step is to design the optimal intervention to improve sexual function outcomes after heart attack for men and women,” said Stacy Tessler Lindau, MD, associate professor of obstetrics/gynecology and medicine-geriatrics at the University of Chicago, who authored the research. “The rehabilitation phase begins with the cardiologist counseling the patient about her or his functional capabilities and what she or he can expect, including physical, psychological, and sexual function.”

Complete Article HERE!

10 Reasons Why Women Lose Their Libido

Ladies, libido means sexual desire. Women having decreased libido is one of the most common complaints I hear in the office, especially for those stressed out supermoms. Trust me – you’re not alone, ladies. It is estimated that more than 40% of women experience some sort of sexual dysfunction in their lifetime. Here’s why, and what you can do about it.

Dried Rose On Old Vintage Wood Plates

Female sexual dysfunction can include problems with desire, arousal, achieving orgasm and sexual pain that causes significant distress in your life. More specifically, decreased libido is when you don’t want to engage in any type of sexual activity, including masturbation, and you don’t want to have any sexual thoughts or fantasies. Sound like someone you know? Let’s review some reasons why you may not want to have sex with your significant other:

1. Bad Relationship.

Fighting with your partner is an easy way to kill your sex drive. When you are angry or hurt, sex is the last thing on your mind. Fix your relationship — go to couples’ therapy.

2. Stress.

It doesn’t matter where the stress comes from, all of it can cause your libido to drop. It doesn’t matter if you’re stressed out from financial problems, from trying to get pregnant, or from worrying about your job – it all negatively impacts your libido. Stress can also lead to you being fatigued, which worsens the problem. Find ways to chill out ladies – I mediate daily to deal with stress, and that might work for you, too.

3. Alcohol and Smoking.

Both of these drugs have been shown to decrease sexual desire and satisfaction. While alcohol in moderation is okay, when you binge drink, sexual dysfunction starts to occur. On the other hand, any kind of smoking is bad – just quit!

Easier said than done, right? You have to know why you are smoking. Substitute that why with something else. For example, if you smoke because you are bored, instead of lighting up go to the gym.

4. Mental Illness.

Mental conditions such as depression and anxiety can also cause your libido to drop. Talk to your doctor and get treated. Sometimes medications used to treat these conditions can also cause a drop in libido – but not every medication does, so talk to your doctor.

crying girl

5. Birth Control.

Hormonal birth has been shown to decrease testosterone in your body, which could lead to a lowered libido. This is because testosterone is one of the hormones that makes you horny.

Other medications such as antidepressants, anti-seizure meds, opioids, medical marijuana, antihistamines, and hypertensive medications can also decrease your sexual desire. Talk to your doctor about switching your medications if you think any are giving you a problem. Your healthcare provider can also potentially switch you to a non-hormonal birth control option, like the Paragard IUD.

6. Trauma in your Past.

Negative sexual experiences in the past can cause issues with decreased libido. Women who were raped or have been victims of domestic violence may, understandably, have issues here. Going to therapy to work through your pain can help.

7. Poor Body Image.

In a world full of fake butts and boobs, it isn’t hard to image women struggling with their body image. Not thinking you are sexy enough can cause your sex drive to plummet. If you don’t like something about yourself, change it – in a healthy way, of course. Eat clean, drink water and exercise – though, keep in mind that a lot of times this is something that you have to work out in therapy.

8. Medical Conditions.

Medical illnesses such as diabetes, hypertension, thyroid disease, congestive heart failure, or cancer can all affect libido. They can alter hormones that have an impact on your sex drive. Proper treatment of the underlying disease can often improve libido.

9. Pregnancy and Breastfeeding.

Hormones fluctuate during pregnancy and breastfeeding, which can decrease your sex drive. Being pregnant can cause you to be tired and not feel sexy, which certainly doesn’t help your libido! Do your best to focus on intimacy with your partner — also, when you have the baby, get help. Let those grandparents help out with babysitting!

10. Aging.

In menopause, estrogen levels drop drastically because the ovaries aren’t working anymore. Low estrogen causes, among other things, a dry vagina, which makes sex painful. This can lead to decreased sexual desire. Arthritis in the aging population can make having sex less fun. When vaginal dryness makes sex uncomfortable, use lubricants (try a free sample of Astroglide Liquid or Astroglide Gel, which temporarily relieve dryness during intercourse). Some women find using vaginal estrogen also helps.

Complete Article HERE!

Here’s What Could Get You Committed If You Were a Woman in the 1870s

Many of things that got women committed in the 1870s would be considered normal behavior today.

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Woman in the 1870s

Despite all the effort made today to de-stigmatize mental illness, the history of mental health and its treatment isn’t pretty. Even as late as the 1970s, lobotomies were widely practiced in the United States to “cure” things such as depression, anxiety, and even homosexuality. Now, imagine yourself in the late 1800s … let’s say around 1875. The germ theory of medicine had barely been worked out, let alone any sound understanding of the human mind and mental illness. People were still treated with bloodletting, mercury, and other dangerous practices. The definition of “insanity” was flexible, and often used to strip inconvenient family members of their money and land. Protections against being committed to an insane asylum in the late 1800s were few … and even fewer if you were a woman. With only the signature of a husband or a male guardian, women could be committed for the rest of their lives for “illnesses” that are now recognized as normal, healthy sexual behavior.

 

Complete Article HERE!