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Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #06 — 03/19/07

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Hey sex fans,

This week we have a slew of written submissions —

  • Roxy is a cock in a frock and his marriage is on the rock-s!
  • Young Pete is queer, and his yahoo family hates fags.
  • Gwen is over the hump, but still wants to hump.

And finally A Sexual Enrichment Tutorial

  • Suppressing the Gag Reflex!

BE THERE, OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s dr dick’s toll free podcast voicemail. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.Got a question? No time to write? Give dr dick a call at (866) 422-5680. Again, the toll free voicemail number is (866) 422-5680.

Dr Dick is now on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the podcast section under the heading — Health, subheading — Sexuality. Or search for Dr Dick Sex Advice With An Edge. And don’t forget to subscribe. I don’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is brought to you by: Daddy Oohhh! Productions, Quality Adult Entertainment, Enrichment and Educataion

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Say It Ain’t So!

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Name: Alex
Gender: male
Age: 19
Location: Indianapolis
I noticed from your bio, dr dick, that you are a pornographer. How do you justify that? Isn’t pornography basically an insult to human sexuality? How do you square that with being a sex therapist and believing, as you say, that you affirm the fundamental goodness of sexuality in human life, both as a personal need and as an interpersonal bond.”

Wow, Alex, you actually took the time to read my bio? I’m impressed. You bring up a very interesting point, albeit with a bit of a jab. You’re right, I am (or more properly, was) a pornographer, if that’s the only word you can come up with to describe what I did at Daddy Oohhh! Productions. I like to think that the adult material I produced was not in conflict with my basic, over all philosophy about human sexuality. BTW, thank you for quoting it as accurately as you did.

Admittedly, porn is a thorny issue in our sex-negative culture. Lots of people are hostile to the notion that there could actually be something uplifting and life affirming about the depiction, in any medium, of sexual behaviors. Lots of people believe that even nudity, let alone full-blown sex, is bad and that it corrupts the consumer, especially if the consumer is a youth.

I don’t happen to share that perception. But this is such a hot-button issue for most people that it’s very difficult to have a civil discourse about the place pornography has in our, or any other culture. Since we find it so difficult to talk about sexual things in the public forum, it’s no surprise that pornography, the public exposure of sexual things, continues to be a big bogyman for even otherwise enlightened people.

I hasten to add that, for the most part, the adult entertainment industry richly deserves the dubious reputation it has. There is an enormous amount content in the marketplace that degrades, dehumanizes and exploits. And I’m not just talking about the stuff that doesn’t suit my tastes. Because there’s a lot of good stuff out there that doesn’t particularly appeal to me.

Therefore, I caution you in your youthful zeal not to reject everything that depicts sexual behavior as worthless just because a good portion of it is indeed shameful junk. That would be like discarding all religion because a good portion of its practitioners degrade, dehumanize and shame those who don’t share their belief system.

You apparently also think there is an inherent contradiction between being a sex therapist and a pornographer. I don’t agree. For over 25 years I’ve been involved in all sorts of cutting-edge sex education and sexual enrichment projects. So why not attempt to bring a fresh, healthier perspective to adult entertainment. Sounds like the perfect role for a sexologist to me.

Besides, humans have been depicting sexual behavior, in one fashion or another, since we were able to scratch images on the walls of our caves. Some of these depictions are intended to titillate, others to educate, even others to edify, but all are expressions of the passions of the person who scratched, painted, wrote or committed to videotape the images they did. I think that if you were really interested in getting to know my thoughts about pornography, you’d do well to check out some of my work. And let’s not forget that in more sex-positive societies than our own, sexual practices were and are integral parts of worshiping the deity.

Porn, like most forms of human expression, can be both gold and dross. And maybe, just maybe, we need the crap in order to appreciate the treasure. The definition of what is ‘pornographic’ changes with the times. Community standards also play a part. A lingerie catalog that showed women in bras and panties might be ‘pornographic’ in one place, but be no big deal in another. Also today’s porn maybe tomorrow’s art. A lot of stuff that hangs in the Louvre museum today was, in its day, considered scandalous and pornographic. Happily, we evolve.

I argue that there is a purpose to sexual depictions, smutty or otherwise. I mean, why would such depictions be so pervasive and appear in every culture and in every age. And it’s not just because it’s art. Most pornography, by its very nature, is decidedly not art. So if it ain’t art, per se, what is it? Most pornography is simply designed to arouse sexual desire. And that, generally speaking, is a really good thing. It’s precisely this very pursuit that probably brought you, young Alex, to my site in the first place. Am I correct?

Sexual desire can stimulate an array of thoughts and behaviors from tender, intimate, and passionate to raw, fierce, and cruel. The mood of the consumer also plays a part. If your libido is raging, you might find a certain depiction stimulating. While the same depiction can cause disgust when your hormones are more in check. Porn tends to show what people fantasize about, rather than what actually happens in the lives of most people. And just so you know, everything is exaggerated in pornography, body parts, sexual situations as well as sexual responses. Everything is staged and a lot of it is faked. Exaggeration is a time honored way of calling attention to something that is otherwise pretty mundane…like sex itself.

In the end, Alex, you will have to decide for yourself what merits pornography might have in our culture. I suggest, however, that you approach porn with a slightly more dispassionate eye than you are currently using. You may find that it has something to teach you about yourself and your culture and the history of human kind.

Good luck

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12 Things All Men Should Know About Their Balls

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We don’t want to bust your balls, but how much do you really know about your testicles? Guys talk about them, brag about them, and let clichés about them flow from their lips without a second thought. So take a few moments to think about your down under friends with 12 ball busting facts about your testicles.

What’s in a name?

“Testicles” and “balls” are not exactly the same thing. When men refer to their balls, they are actually talking about three things: the testicles, the scrotum (the skin sac that protects the testicles), and tiny tubes called epididymides that are attached to the testis and which store and transport sperm. Your testicles are your big T (testosterone) producers, so you want to make sure they are healthy and happy at all times!

Location, location, location.

Real estate agents know the value of location, and your testicles aren’t much different. That is, your left ball and your right ball are not exactly next to each other; one hangs a little bit lower than the other (or one is higher than the other, your preference). Each ball is approximately 2 inches by 1 inch, although typically the right testicle is slightly bigger than the left one. However, even though you might think the bigger testicle should hang lower, that’s not the way nature works. Go figure.

Bigger is not necessarily better.

According to a study conducted at Emory University, men who have smaller testes are more likely to be nurturing dads than are their peers who have bigger balls. The authors evaluated 70 American men, including Caucasians, African-Americans, and Asians, who had a child aged one to two years old. Analysis of brain function while the men looked at children and questionnaire responses resulted in the conclusion that “the biology of human males reflects a trade-off between mating effort and parenting effort, as indexed by testicular size and nurturing-related brain function, respectively.”

Two’s company, three’s a crowd.

An extremely rare condition called polyorchidism is defined as the presence of three—or more—testicles. Only about 200 cases of polyorchidism, more or less, have been reported in the literature, so it’s not a condition that should keep you up at night with worry. However, if you have a unexplained mass in your scrotum, it’s something your doctor may want to rule out.

Pain in the balls.

If you experience painful, swollen, and/or inflamed testicles for no apparent reason (e.g., no one has kicked you down under), it may be time to see your doctor. Trauma to the testicles, such as from a sports injury, usually results in temporary pain. In other cases, however, such as testicular torsion (twisted testicle, which is a medical emergency), epididymitis (inflammation of the epididymis, often caused by a sexually transmitted disease such as gonorrhea), inguinal hernia, testicular tumor, or orchitis (inflammation of the testicle from bacteria or viruses), a doctor should be consulted. Sometimes it’s more than just a pain in the balls!

Bumpy balls.

One thing you can say about a man’s balls—they aren’t attractive. All those little bumps and lumps sure don’t make them pleasing to the eye, but are they dangerous as well? In most cases, no. However, an enlarged vein called a varicocele can have a negative impact on fertility and be painful. Tiny fluid-filled bumps called epididymal cysts are unsightly but harmless. Only 4 percent of the unusual lumps on the balls end up being cancer. If you have a lump or bump that doesn’t seem quite right or that has appeared suddenly or changed in size or shape, be sure to have your doctor check it out.

Cool balls, man.

Your body temperature may hover around 98.6 degrees, but your balls run about 1 to 3 degrees cooler. Why? It seems to be nature’s way to keep sperm “on ice” so to speak. A cooler temperature keeps sperm in a resting state until they are ready to move on and result in pregnancy or just a vacation away from home. On the other side of the cooler, when men experience a fever or sit in a sauna for a length of time, their sperm counts are temporarily reduced. Cool is where it’s at.

Balls rise to the occasion.

Just before a man ejaculates, his testicles rise up close to his body and make contact at the moment of truth. More specifically, in most men the right testicle begins the journey upwards before the left one. Since the right ball is usually already closer to the body (see “Location, location, location”), it has less of a journey to make.

Pampering balls.

If you want your balls to be all they can be, then pamper them. That means no smoking (lowers sperm count), limit alcohol use (lowers T and sperm count), dress them comfortably (no overly tight underwear, pants, or bathing suits—except on limited special occasions!), wash them daily and gently, and protect them from trauma, especially in sports. On this latter point, wear a protective cup during contact sports and get the right saddle for your bicycle.

Balls have muscles.

Well, not exactly, but there are several types of muscles in the area that are responsible for keeping your balls in motion. For example, the cremasteric muscle works like an elevator, causing your scrotum and testicles to rise and lower (see “Balls rise to the occasion”). Another muscle called cartos causes the testicles to move within the scrotum. This muscle tissue is also the one that can be blamed for the wrinkly appearance of your balls. The good news: you don’t need to work these muscles in the gym!

Ball check.

Once a month, all men should check their balls. Not just a perfunctory pat, but a thorough examination to be sure there are no hard lumps or any bumps that have changed in size or shape. Why? Testicular cancer is not near the top of the disease list, but it does affect about 1 in every 270 men. When caught early, it usually can be cured. The best time to perform this ritual is when showering. If something doesn’t feel right, see your doctor.

Ball busting.

During sexual arousal, a man’s balls can increase in size by 50 percent or more. Of course, most men are too busy thinking about something else while the blood is rushing to their testicles, but their partners may notice the change. This ball busting event is temporary, and the testicles return to normal size once the excitement is over. However, if a man’s balls don’t return to normal size or become enlarged at other times, it’s time for a visit to your doctor.

Complete Article HERE!

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The 5 steamiest sites to get your BDSM erotica fix

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Screw watching porn. Read it.

Back when the internet first came into existence, watching porn was not a proper thing you could do. That’s because most porn was written. But not to worry—there was still plenty of it to go around. Give people a way to be horny, and they’ll most certainly jump on the opportunity.

So much has changed since those early days before the World Wide Web and even though online videos have boomed in the past two decades, there is still plenty of story-based smut floating around on the internet. That’s good news for BDSM fans. Turns out the internet is filled with erotica detailing everything from light bondage to knife play. Here are some of the best story-based porn sites to check out for kink.

5 best places to read BDSM stories

1) Literotica

As far as online BDSM stories go, Literotica is legendary. Originally founded in 1998, Literotica is a free erotica hub where users from around the world can submit anything from erotic poems to novels. Over the past two decades, the site has made quite the name for itself in the online porn world, as it’s practically synonymous with the term “online erotica.”

Of course that means the site has a huge BDSM short story collection. There’s plenty to check out, from light power plays to hardcore bondage. Plus, because Literotica is centered around cultivating and supporting erotic stories, the site has an enormous catalog of short story series from years past. Expect multi-chapter goodness for those late nights alone.

If you’re a newbie to the site, there are a couple Literotica stories worth checking out: “Bruises on Bruises” is a one-shot story where a submissive woman details her dominant’s erotic brutality on her body. And then there’s “Seven Days of Service,” a seven-part BDSM series mixing business with pleasure between a dominant and his submissive. For more BDSM short stories, check out the site’s top-rated stories of all time in the BDSM tag.

2) Nifty

Gay and lesbian BDSM stories are plentiful on the internet, as long as you’re willing to look for them. And just like Literotica, Nifty remains essential in the LGBTQ community for queer erotica.

Originally launched in 1993, Nifty hosts free stories largely dealing with gay and lesbian sex. That means plenty of bondage, submission, and domination appears on the site. Right on Nifty’s front page, the site is split into four categories: gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender. From there, users can choose erotica based on varying categories, which include “authoritarian” and “bondage” BDSM stories.

Before hopping onto Nifty, though, it’s worth pointing out that some stories feature underage and teenage protagonists. It’s definitely an uncomfortable experience, to say the least. Kinks run the gamut from gay college hookups to bestiality as well, so make sure to check the tags before reading a story. Also, quality varies. Some stories are incredibly well-written, while others are severly lacking.

Still, Nifty is worth checking out if you need a queer erotica fix. Of particular note: One story deals with a trans girl’s slutty diaries, including her relationship with a submissive man who ultimately dominates her in his own way. And then there’s  “Dykes Seduce Pizza Girl,” where two lesbians pleasure a submissive delivery driver. There’s also a “best of” list detailing some of Nifty’s highlights over the years.

3) Tumblr

Love or hate it, Tumblr is well known for being a major porn hub in the BDSM world. And yes, that includes kinky sex stories. The site is filled with them. Blogs throughout the site are dedicated to BDSM erotica, with both one-shots and story series gracing its webpages. For instance, Tumblr user sweetlysubmissive writes BDSM stories featuring plenty of delicious dominant and submissive play. And then there’s Tasks BDSM Community Stories, which features a sizable number of BDSM series ranging from lesbian pet play in college Greek life to a rich, bratty bottom getting her fill.

The best part about Tumblr, though, is the site’s search system. This means that anyone can search for BDSM content without necessarily following another person’s blog. So for someone interested in a specific kink, such as bondage or spanking, simply typing in terms on the site’s search bar can lead to some pretty enticing results. This makes Tumblr not just an endless resource for BDSM literature, but one where there’s always new kinks to explore.

4) r/GoneWildStories

Fictional stories are great, but what about real-life encounters? That’s what r/GoneWildStories is all about.

Unlike r/EroticLiterature, which is dedicated to fictional erotic stories, r/GoneWildStories features real-life sexual exploits detailed for the reader’s entertainment. No unrealistic characters, no stilted dialogue; every single story in the subreddit is (probably) straight from real life. Granted, there’s no way to confirm whether a user’s sexual exploits really happened, but isn’t part of the fun—envisioning every story as true to life?

Like other adult subreddits, r/GoneWildStories uses a tag system to track BDSM posts, and many stories listed on the site aren’t necessarily kinky. Some are just random hook-ups. But the site gets plenty of exciting stories about doms, subs, and bondage for readers to look through, making it worth a bookmark.

For instance, one post details a pet’s first time wearing her collar for her master. Another explores a kinky trans woman’s experience with her first threesome, along with plenty of bondage. As far as real-life kink writing goes, r/GoneWildStories is worth the look.

Who said BDSM stories have to stay written? Reddit’s r/GoneWildAudio is an ocean of free audio stories, created by performers recording straight from their bedrooms.

With r/GoneWildAudio, performers pick from a series of scripts or create their own recordings based on a sexual fantasy. Content varies from vanilla concepts to hardcore BDSM scenes. There’s also plenty of alternative kinks to check out on the site too, like pet play, daddy doms, and forced feminization.

As with r/GoneWildStories, not every recording on the subreddit is BDSM-focused. But the site has an enormous selection to browse through using BDSM-adjacent tags, like “bondage,” “rope,” “domme,” and other terms and phrases. We recommend “Shut Up, I’m Sucking Your Cock,” which features some light domming alongside cock worship and oral sex. And then there’s “This is What Happens to Bad Girls,” where a domme teases another girl, promising to tie her up and spank her.

Complete Article HERE!

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The Weird Link Between Your Parents & Your Partner

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There’s A Weird Connection Between Your Parents & Your Sex Life, According To Science

By Kasandra Brabaw

Every once in a while research pops up that claims people often end up with sexual and/or romantic partners who look like one of their parents. Usually this research is pretty heteronormative and focuses on the idea that straight women end up with husbands who look kind of like their fathers or straight men bring home women who look just like mom.

Whatever these studies are trying to say about our lives and their oedipus-like qualities, they’re generally pretty easy to brush off and move on — after all, it’s doubtful that many of us are consciously looking for someone who reminds us of our parents.

But the latest study in this iteration is slightly more nuanced. Researchers at Glasgow University aren’t saying that we want partners who look exactly like our parents, just that it’s likely we’ll end up with someone who has the same eye color as one of our parents. And this time, the study isn’t restricted to straight people, Yahoo reports.

The researchers asked 300 people about the eye color of their parents and the eye color of their partners. They determined through this (relatively small) sample size, that straight women and gay men are more likely attracted to people who have their father’s eye color, and that straight men and gay women are more likely attracted to people with their mothers’.

Now, let’s just take a second to think about this. Obviously, their findings aren’t going to be true for everyone. I, for example, am a gay woman who has mostly dated people who have brown eyes, just like my dad. So even though I have been attracted to people who have the same eye color as one of my parents, it’s not the parent this study says should be my inspiration.

Then, of course, there’s the fact that they only asked 300 people (75 of each gender/sexuality), which is hardly a strong sample size of the whole world. And even if those 300 people were perfect representations of how everyone chooses sexual and romantic partners, let’s remember that there are only so many eye colors to choose from anyway.

If you think about it, most people have either brown eyes, green/hazel eyes, or blue eyes — though some people’s eyes can also look more grey. So, if your parents have two different eye colors like mine do (my dad has brown, my mom has hazel), then you’ve already knocked off two of three possible eye colors. The odds are good that you’ll end up with someone who has the same eye color as your parents, just because that’s how probability works.

Still, there might be some truth to the researchers’ claims that this is another example of “sexual imprinting,” a theory that claims we learn what characteristics to find sexually attractive from our parents. After all, these studies do keep popping up.

Our advice: Just don’t think about it too much. You’re attracted to whoever you’re attracted to, and if that person happens to look a little like your dad around the eyes, then so be it.

Complete Article HERE!

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