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OH THE HUMANITY!

Once again my inbox is filled with quires from all over the globe.

Name: MARK
Gender:
Age: 44
Location: ca
im experiencing ED for 2 years. According to eastern medicine, which i believe in, it’s the result of low kidney chi…are you familiar with mantak chia? can you share any feedback you’ve heard regarding his taoist sex practices?

Alas, I do not know the man or his take on Erectile Dysfunction. If you find out more, do let me know. I’m very interested in cross-cultural philosophies about sex.

Name: Tommy
Gender:
Age: 34
Location: bay area
If your wit this guy for some time. How do you make him be more interested in you. I been sleeping with this person for some time and I feel we have gotten closer> I just want to know I do I reel him in. thanks tommy

vintage311.jpgI am of the mind that humans are not much like fish. They can’t be reeled in. But they can be REASONED in.

Listen, my friend, if you feel like your relationship with this guy has matured to the point where you’d like to take it to the next level, whatever that may be. Why not just come out and tell the bloke how you feel. Ask him to be honest with you about his feelings too. You may be pleasantly surprised to learn that he shares your desire to be more than fuck buddies. If not, at least you’ll know where you stand.

Name: canine
Gender:
Age: 30
Location: philippines
i have a 4 inch dick, 4 inches circumference, would it be enough to satisfy a women. i have tried so many penile enlarging pill, it doesnt work, tried pump, doesnt work either, i am looking at fat transplant is it safe?, would it really lengthen and provide more girth? a 5×5 would be enough for me. help!

manchains.jpgFour inches is plenty to pleasure most women. Most women don’t give a shit about dick size. But ya know what? Even if they were, you are more than your dick size. Presumably you also have functional fingers and a tongue, not to mention an ability to charm a woman. These are the things that will get you laid, my friend, not your 4 or 5 inches.

So you’ve tried enlarging pills and pumps and they don’t work. You don’t say! I keep telling guys to not waste their money. But it looks like you haven’t learned your lesson yet. Now, instead of just useless pills and bogus pumps you want to have some one inject your dick with your own body fat. Is another inch really worth the effort, expense, and risk involved with this procedure if it were to go bad? And mark my words; it will go bad. I have yet to see even one fat injected cock that looks normal. They all look deformed, like they have cottage cheese under the skin. In most cases the body rejects a large portion of the fat injection. The procedure often needs to be repeated several times and each operation carries with it a severe risk of infection.

Stop right now. Spend your money on something that will make you more attractive and interesting to the ladies. Take a class in sensual massage, or study tantrac sex techniques. Just leave your dick alone!

Name: jason
Gender:
Age: 33
Location: Connecticut
if I like anal sex but not all the time does this make me gay even though I like to be with women too?

5484782_400.jpgTakin’ it up the ass don’t make you gay, even if you’re being plugged by another dude. It may suggest that you are technically bisexual, since you say you also like to be with women. But hell, even a lot of straight guys get pegged by their girlfriends or wives.

So what’s the lesson in all of this? All these labels are useless unless you yourself choose to identify yourself with one or another of them. And for lots of people, sexual identities are fluid things. Be honest with yourself and let your public identity flow from that.

Name: catherine joanne
Gender:
Age: 42
Location: canada, alberta
I am in a very loving, uderstanding, compasionate relationship, which I have been waiting for for some time now. The only thing is, in every way he stimulates my emotional side, but in the bedroom he is not as sexual as previous partners i have encountered. I do not know if this is because all my previous relationships has always been about the “sex” and fizzled out, or is this how the “real love thing truly is?” If so, how can I mentally get over this one…he just is not inventive, or has a lack of sexual knowledge. I do not desire to end this loving relationship over the bed issue. Please help me out on this one, so I do not sabatouge this relationship. sincerely: Catherine

If this guy is satisfying you as much as you say, hold on to him. He’s a keeper.

You can always teach the old dog some new tricks. Of course, you’re gonna have to take the lead in his sex ed. Let’s just hope he’s not threatened by a woman who is more sexually experienced and progressive than he is. That being said, I think you ought to make your peace with the fact that he’ll never become a wild fuck. But then again, you wouldn’t want that, because those wild fucks don’t make for loving, understanding and compassionate partners. But you already know that, huh?

Just remember: It’s as hard to domesticate a wild fuck as it is to make a domestic fuck wild!

Name: jamie
Gender:
Age: 28
Location: Georrgia
lately when me and my boyfriend have sex, he’s been pulling out because he says his dick burns. WHY IS HE HAVING THAT PROBLEM

What’s goin on in your pussy, girl? Nothing about a healthy cunt is gonna irritate a guy’s dong. SEE YOUR DOCTOR! Hey, maybe he started out with a skin irritation of some sort or another, and pluggin’ you only made it worse. HE OUGHTA SEE HIS DOCTOR!

And what the fuck are you two doin screwin around without a condom? Are you on the pill? You’d better be. Cuz if you ain’t ya’ll are gonna have a whole lot more to worry about than cock burns, if ya catch my drift.

Name: rupalini
Gender:
Age: 25
Location: india
i am unable to have an orgasm.. how ever i try.. its emotionally straining on me.. could be pls tell me techniques to relax and enjoy..?

Let’s begin by dispelling the notion that there may be something wrong with you. There isn’t. You do, however, fall into a category we in the biz call “pre-orgasmic women.”

Orgasms don’t always come easily to some women, and that’s a fact. I suppose there are as many reasons for this as there are preorgasmic women. A woman’s pleasure center (her clit) is more subtle and less obvious than a man’s raging hardon. Women are socialized about sexuality especially where you live — even nowadays — in a much different way then men are. Men have more cultural permissions to be sexually adventuresome than women do.

Case in point. When I was just beginning my sex therapy practice I had a young engaged couple, Joel and Amy, visit me with the very issue you raise. As I would soon learn, Joel considered himself a top-notch cocksmith. He was fond of saying that he could reduce any woman to blubbering jelly with either his mouth or his magic-wand of a dick. (Oh, lord, how us mens love to brag!)

But Joel was completely flummoxed to discover that the love of his life, the young woman sitting next to him, was immune to his sexual prowess. He had to get to the bottom of this…so to speak. So he decided to haul the little woman in for my diagnosis.

Amy squirmed with discomfort during this little introduction. I thought she would absolutely die as Joel detailed the intimacies of their lovemaking. He was being very explicit. I knew I’d get nowhere with Amy while numb-nuts Joel was sitting right there, so I told him to go take a hike while Amy and I had a chat.

I first asked Amy about the early messages she got about her body. She thought for a moment and answered. “I don’t know if this is what you mean, but one of my earliest recollections is my mother teaching me to wash myself. I must have been no more than 5 or 6 years old. She began by telling me I should wash my body like we washed dishes. First and foremost, I was to attend to my hair, my face and my hands…like we would first wash the fine crystal and silverware. My mother explained that my hair, face and hands would be what would attract a husband. Then I was to wash the rest of my body…just like we would then wash the rest of the dishes. Finally, at the end of the bath, I could wash my genitals…but only with a different cloth than the one I used on the rest of me…just like we washed the pots and pans.”

This unearthed memory startled Amy. Even though she hadn’t thought about it for years, she realized she continued to wash herself in that same manner to that very day. This was so startling to her that she followed that revelation with one equally astonishing. She told me that once she reached puberty her mother took her aside for the “BIG TALK.” Menstruation and all the embarrassment and confusion that brought with it, added to the pot and pan imagery really threw poor Amy for a loop. Her mother said…referring to her genitals, “You must save that for the one you love and will marry.” WHAT? “This dirty part, this thing that’s cursed with a monthly unclean bloodletting was supposed to be SAVED for the man of my dreams. YUCK, why?”

brazilian-bedlock.jpgPoor Amy! She was a tangle of confusion and mixed messages. No wonder she was preorgasmic. No wonder fucking Joel, despite her love for him, was a teeth-clenching chore. No wonder his begging to eat her pussy was met with a “Oh, please don’t. I’m not ready for that.”

There was a lot of work to be done, but she was eager to begin.

We began her home-play exercises with journal work and a self-sexological exam. I instructed her to get a hand mirror and a diagram of female genitalia. She was to get to work familiarizing herself and making friends with her estranged pussy. Her exam would entail a detailed touch test. Every square inch from her asshole to her navel was to be tested for sensitivity. I suggested she draw pictures of cunt and color them to represent the levels of sensitivity — red being the hottest and most pleasurable areas to blue being the more neutral areas and all the colors in-between. I encouraged her to try this exercise with both a wet hand and a dry hand. I suggested a nice personal lubricant for her wet hand exploration. I encouraged her to spend at least 30 minutes a day for three consecutive days. She had a lot of reacquainting to do, don’t cha know. And this was to be private time. Joel was not to invited.

On the forth day, if she was ready, she could invite Joel to join her. No pressure for that to happen, just a suggestion. But whenever she was ready to invite Joel to her little pussy get-acquainted party, he could only attend as a guest, not a participant. I encouraged her to give Joel the royal tour of Amy’s fabulous cunt. She was to show Joel her drawings and once the tour and art show was over that was it. No fucking, no sucking, no nothing just the tour and art show.

Poor Joel was beside himself. He couldn’t see the logic of him not being involved. I had to impress upon him that this was Amy’s work not his. And if he just held on to that magic johnson of his, he’d be back with an orgasmic Amy in no time. But he had to be patient.

When next we were together Amy shared her artwork with me. I could tell right away from just looking at the pictures she drew that she found her clit. Amy was pleased as all get out with her newfound pussy friend. She was eager to take it to the next level.

The following week’s home-play would include a vibrator. Amy was to shop for the one she wanted and take it home to introduce it to her pussy. Using the pictures she created of her genitals, she was to kick-start that vibrator, throw it into first gear and start making small lazy circles around the blue areas, and work her way to the bright red areas. She was to do this privately for 30 minutes for three consecutive days or until there was a breakthrough.

I knew this wasn’t gonna take long, and it didn’t. The very next day, I got the anticipated phone call. Amy was breathless. “Holy shit, I did it!” She exclaimed. “Oh my god, I saw stars, the earth moved and I made so much noise that Joel came running into the room thinking I had somehow hurt myself. He stood there in stunned silence as he watched me throw myself another screaming meme.” I loved the way she already had a name for her orgasms…screamin’ memes.

And so that’s how Amy went from being preorgasmic to being a totally “I know how to give myself a big fat juicy orgasm” in a matter of a couple of weeks. YEAH!

big-13.jpgNow let’s review for you Rupalini. The basic formula for achieving an orgasm is acquainting yourself with your pussy. Map out all the points of interest. Find out what feels good, and repeat it. The object of this first step is not to stress about having an orgasm it’s all about reconnecting with your cunt.

The more you know about this marvelous part of you the better you’re gonna be at slammin yourself a screamin’ meme when the time comes. Knowing your way around your pussy is also gonna be helpful in partnered sex, especially if your partners are men. Like I said earlier, one of the reasons you’re preorgasmic may be you’ve had uninformed lovers.

You see most men’s interest in pussy extends to the end of his dick. And it completely expires once he’s shot his wad. So don’t mistake a man’s pawing at you to get in your pants as authentic interest in you and/or your pussy. Mostly a man is interested in getting’ some relief for his johnson. And that’s about as far as our interest goes. So, if you find a partner that doesn’t know shit from shinola about your love cave, you’ll better have the confidence to give him a tutorial before the fucking commences.

Step two is masturbation. You may have tried it before without success, that’s ok. This time you’ll be better informed about all the hot spots of your coozie that you learned in step one. I’m a big fan of full body masturbation. So while you’re diddlin’ yourself spread the sexual energy all over your body — tits, ass, feet, mouth, whatever.

Vary your technique: stroke, pinch, pat, massage, and rub yourself all over. Vary your breathing, gyrate your hips, listen to sexy music, rent some porn, watch yourself in a mirror, or throw in some Kegel exercises. Try a wet hand. Play with yourself in the bath. Hell, dance around naked with a jewel in your navel…whatever it takes.

022107.jpgMany women experience their first orgasm with the help of a vibrator, just like old Amy. I encourage you to be adventuresome and experiment with one too. Try a dildo or another sex toy.

Be sure to keep a journal during this exploratory period. This will help you later to bridge the gap in communicating with your partners.

Finally, Rupalini, may I turn you on to a fantastic webstie, www.Clitical.com. This is a one-stop shop for all things relating to female sexuality.

Good luck ya’ll

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #22 — 07/16/07

Hey sex fans,

I have a great show for you today. We have several thought-provoking questions from the sexually worrisome. With an equal number of sassy, affable and oh so informative responses by me! Hey, it’s what I do.

  • Steve is a seed-sucker and a goop gobbler.
  • Nola wants to get tight.
  • Peaches & Herb are in a party mood.

And finally by special request…

  • For Armand (and his creepy roommate) — Forbidden Fruit.

BE THERE, OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s dr dick’s toll free podcast voicemail. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question? No time to write? Give dr dick a call at (866) 422-5680. Again, the TOLL FREE voicemail number is (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY !

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the health section under the subheading — Sexuality. Or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice With An Edge. And don’t forget to subscribe. I don’t want you to miss even one episode.

Say, would you like to become a sponsor for one or more of my weekly sex advice podcasts? As you know, I plug a product or service at the beginning and end of each show. Each podcast has its own posting on my site along with the name of the podcast sponsor and a banner for the product or service.

The beauty part about this unique opportunity is that once a sponsor’s ad is included in a particular podcast that sponsor is embedded there forever.

Your sponsorship also underscores your social conscience. Your marketing dollars will not only got to promote your product, but you will be doing so while helping to disseminate badly needed sex education and sexual enrichment messages. Simply put, ya just can’t get a better bang for your advertising buck!

For further information, contact me at: dr_dick@drdicksexadvice.com

Today’s podcast is once again bought to you by: DR DICK’S HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

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Republican Family Values!


cartoons_071407_a.jpg

And old David, here, is just one of three —

This week alone…

  • US Senator David Vitter (above) was exposed for using the DC Madam’s services…
  • Florida House member Bob Allen was arrested in Florida for offering to pay a cop $20 for the pleasure of giving him a blowjob.
  • North Carolina Rep. David Almond resigned after allegations that he exposed himself and chased a female employee saying “suck it baby.”

You can kick the pervert out of the (republican) party, but not the party out of the pervert!

ps: thanks blogactive.com

Do Do That Voodoo That You Do So Well!

A curious lot today, don’t cha know. Some folks are simply confused about the concept. Others are just pulling my leg.

Name: agrah
Gender:
Age: 30 ish
Location: michigan
I am curious what the pregnancy rate is for people using anal sex as a means of birth control. While its not my method, (I have an IUD) it is disturbing to me that people think anal sex is fool proof birth control.

HUH? Girl, how’s a chick gonna get pregnant via ass fucking? You explain that to me and I’ll be happy to comment further.

Name: Rocket Man
Gender:
Age: 31
Location: Nashville4_afro.jpg
Big Dr. Dick, Between busy work schedules, travelling and such, I had not had much time for sex. It was actually about a 5 week span without sex or masturbation. When my wife and I finally got together I was built up big time. I new my response would be quick and my load would likely triple it’s normal oozeage. Being that it had been so long, there was not much foreplay…we just wanted to get down to the hardcore humping. I was sitting on a couch and she climbed on top. On her 3rd downstroke, I blew like a friday afternoon work whistle. She shot off my cock back first into the coffetable, broke it in half and received a few splinters in her ass! Should we replace this piece of furniture, or should I just make her kneel in the floor and rest my legs on her when she’s done sucking me off in the future?

You Nashville folks have all the fun! You get extra points for making me laugh. Perhaps all ya need is sturdier furniture.

PS: don’t be surprised if I steal this: “I blew like a Friday afternoon work whistle.” That’s downright hilarious.

Name: colleen
Gender:
Age: 28
Location: california
I have noticed lately that i am way more horney than normal it is like I can’t ever get enough and the slightes touch gets me going. Also my natural smell from my vagina seems to be extra strong lately and sometimes after my husband and i have sex I have a clear but chunky discharge. I was regulalry with summers eve wash and I have never smelled so strong as I do now. I feel like I am a dog in heat. What is wrong with me?

WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU? Simply put, you’re 28 and you’re as randy as all get-out, darling. Sounds like you’re pert-near feral. If you were in the wild your super-strong odor would attract males from far and wide; each and every one hoping for his opportunity to satisfy your vixen lusts.

And that “clear but chunky discharge” you’re having after the hubby bones you? Doll, I’d be willing to guess that’s his spooge drippin’ out of your cunt. Ahhh, youth!

Name: lulu
Gender:
Age: 19
Location: dallas
normally my boyfriend wears a condom and if he doesnt he always pulls out, but the other day he cummed inside me and it stung horribly. is this normal??

Hell, no! That ain’t normal, honey. Nobody’s jizz is supposed to sting, unless it gets in your eye!

And what the fuck are you two doin screwin around without always using a condom? You actually trust him to pull out in time…every time? What kind of cockamamie contraceptive strategy is that?

I sure as hell hope you puppies are doubling up on birth control — he, a condom; you, the pill or a diaphragm. Slip-ups happen like clockwork for youngens, like you. That’s why it’s better to be doubly safe than eternally sorry.

Get it done, LuLu! Clearly, your numbskull BF doesn’t use the good sense god gave him, or he’d seal himself in latex before he jumped your bones. Unplanned pregnancies can ruin lives!

Name: Mace
Gender:
Age: 31
Location: Oklahoma City
5497486_400.jpg I have an issue with my current girlfriend. She and I are both on the same page with a high sex drive. We both also put a higher priority on satisfying the other before ourselves. My problem is this, I tend to take a longer time to orgasm than my mate. Although she is physically satisfied, she is discouraged at her own sexual prowress because she believes that my climaxing when she does shows that I am as turned on as her. How can I ensure a matching climax, or reassure her that I still think she’s sexy even though I don’t climax?

If it ain’t one thing, it’s another. Are simultaneous orgasms really all that important? Hey, If it happens, it happens. Fine! But personally, I think they’re vastly overrated. Obviously, being turned on and climaxing are not the same thing, so have the GF chill out. Besides, lots of people find it a huge turn on to watch their partner cum. And one can’t hardly enjoy the show if one is busy producing his or her own display, right?

Mark my words, the added pressure to cum simultaneously will only induce a serious case of performance anxiety in one or the both of you. And that will sure-as-shootin’ throw a monkey wrench into the sweet thing you guys got goin on.

Name: sarah
Gender:
Age: 18
Location: detroit
why do anal sex hurt so bad what can i do to stop the pain

Nope, it doesn’t always hurt so bad. Sometimes it hurts so good.

Chances are the guy who’s pluggin you doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doin. Just because he has a cock and you have a bunghole don’t make you experts butt pirates.

You kids need to read this: Liberating The B.O.B. Within

Good luck ya’ll!

It Must Be Something In The Air!

A rash of pretty bizarre messages have been arriving the past few days. I’m so lucky.

While I want ya’ll to know that I’m delighted to hear from each and every one of you, particularly those of you from the far-flung corners of the globe, there’s just so much I can offer by way of advice.

Often, the best I can do is offer some generic information about one thing or another, then suggest that if the concerns persist, that person ought to seek professional help nearer to hand than me. So regardless how many people write in with further questions, the only thing I can do is repeat myself. (See below for examples.)

Others write to me with a pressing problem, but fail to include enough information for me to advise them properly. Thus I find myself asking more questions of them than they do of me.

Name: glen
Gender:
Age: 42
Location: Santa Ana CA
Is it possible to give coitus to a vagina while another man’s penis stays inside the same vagina?

Yep, you betcha! It’s called double penetration, DP for short.

Name: y
Gender:
Age: 35
Location: Indiamalia7.jpg
Will breasts become bigger due to having sex?

Not from just having sex, darling! But if you get pregnant from having sex, you can rest assured that your boobs will get larger then.

Name: aamir khan
Gender:
Age: 22
Location: pakistan
hi sir… i have a problem when i talk to girls so there will b little cum going from my penis. and i m dischargig vry soon. so whts dis??? and wht shold i do??

image-1.jpegI do believe you are referring to what is commonly called “pre-cum”. This clear alkaline fluid produced by your Cowper’s gland during sexual arousal lubricates and neutralizes the acidity of the urethra that will soon carry your jizz, with its payload of up to five hundred million sperm. Your urine, which also passes through this shared tube, leaves your urethra acidic. And if your body didn’t neutralize the acidity before you shot your wad, all your sperm would die.

Name: Jim
Gender:
Age: 50
Location: Portland
I have red balls! I have noticed many porn fellows with similar red balls, but I do not find this condition attractive. I have tried fungicides and hydrocortisone. I try to keep my crotch dry, even using cornstarch powder after a shower. Any advice?

f9905211-bf1a-48bd-b58e-26853f54503c.jpgRED BALLS? I’ve heard of blue balls, but not red balls, per se. Porn fellows often have red balls because their cockring is too tight or they have been using one for too long.

Your problem sounds, however, like a bad case of jock itch. That’s no fun! Jock itch is a pretty common fungal infection of the groin and upper thighs. If you’re using an over the counter antifungal cream and a cornstarch-based powder to keep things dry down there, and you’re still having a problem, SEE YOUR DOCTOR!

You may simply need a pharmaceutical grade fungicide. Or you could have scabies.

Name: james
Gender:
Age: 31
Location: CA
hi, i am not getting proper erection while intercourse,,,got recently married what shud i do?

I need more information! Are you not aroused enough before you start the fuck? Can you get fully hard when you jerk off? Were you a virgin when you married? This must be a bummer for a newly weds.

Name: Jim Beans
Gender:
Age: 24
Location:
What pornographic resources are available for blind folk? Do you have any suggestions?

Have you tried SexAudia.com? Besides being able to hear my weekly podcast on SexAudia.com, you can hear loads of other hot and steamy erotic stories, music and other entertainment. Check it out. Tell ‘em Dr Dick sent you.

Name: Mohan
Gender:
Age: 30
Location: Malaysia
can i have children with my hypospadias condition? Should i get an operation?

I have no way of knowing how severe your hypospadias is, or if it might interfere with you having children. SEE YOUR DOCTOR! Although, if you’ve lived with this condition for 30 years, it can’t be too severe, right? Corrective surgery is a last resort and should only be considered in the most severe cases.

Name: john
Gender:
Age: 31
Location: new zealand
Hello doc .i have hypospadias and my dick is only 3 inch if fully erect..pls advice me.

That’s small, for sure. But 3” erect is not uncommonly small. There’s not much a fellow can do about tiny meat, except learn to love it and let it give you all the joy it can. Not much you can do about the hypospadias either. But since you’ve lived you’ve lived with your dick this way for 31 years, you probably know all of this already, huh?

Name: jake
Gender:
Age: 16
Location: Grove City
im at 6 inches and I wanna get to 7 or a lil lower how can i do this? could i get pills at this age? and if so what should i get?

You could leave it the fuck alone till you finish puberty at least. You could also be happy with what you have, because some folks, like the guy above you, would be delighted to be as hung as you.

BTW, there are no pills that work for growing a dick longer. Wake up, puppy!

Name: sheema
Gender
Age: 41
Location:
hi dr, i am 41yers old lesbo mom. i love lesbian sex. i have 4kids. one dughter and 3 sons. my sons ages is 22 18 12. my dughter age is 16yers. i have one girlfriend for sex. my girlfriend come my home and we make sex. one day we having sex then my dughter see us. she ask me what you doing with aunt. i dont tell her. but in my mind a idea. i want having lesbian sex with my dughter. tell me what shold i do. plase.

SERIOUSLY! A forty-one year old woman, and a mother of four, needs to ask if it’s ok to have lesbian sex with her underage daughter? Get otta of here!

What kind of mother are you? If your daughter wants to dabble in muff-divin’, let her play with someone her own age.

Incest, particularly the adult to child type, is considered taboo in nearly every culture, both past and present. There’s plenty of good reason for this. While lesbian sex doesn’t involve the genetic concerns (inbreeding); it would involve the most devastating aspect of incest — the secrecy. No one violates this universal taboo in the open. The secrecy and the inevitable shame and guilt will, sure as shootin’, destroy you family dynamic.

People, if you find yourself in a seductive situation with family member, don’t give in to the temptation.

Good luck everyone!

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