Search Results: D L King

You are browsing the search results for d l king

First Time Fears

Share

Name: Stephani
Gender: Female
Age: 19
Location: Texas
Does sex hurt the first time?

I assume you mean fucking — penis/vagina — sex, right? The reason I ask is that there are lots of other sexual behaviors that people can engage in that don’t involve intercourse. I’m gonna give you some credit and trust that you already know this. If you don’t you have a whole bunch of remedial work to do, darlin’.

Fucking, even first time fucking never needs to hurt. One thing for sure, lots of lube is essential — first time and every time.i lost my virginity

But there is so much more you can do to prepare yourself (and your partner) for your first fuck. Begin by knowing your body and your sexual response cycle. Is it safe to assume, even though you are a virgin to full-on fucking, that you are familiar with masturbation? If not, honey, that’s where you should start. If you enjoy pleasuring your body to orgasm, you will likely know the kind of stimulation you need to achieve full arousal. This is precisely the information you will want to pass on to your partner before the first fuck-fest begins as well as throughout the event.

The more you know about your body and the mysteries of your particular sexual response cycle the smoother things will go for you and your partner. Nowadays there is absolutely no need for anyone to come to their first partnered sexual encounter uninformed about sex in general and his or her sexuality in particular.

Most women experience pain during fucking (for the first time or anytime) because of one of three basic reasons: 1) She is inexperienced, 2) Her partner is inexperienced or unversed about mutual pleasuring, 3) She is not fully aroused. Right away you can see how a familiarity with your body in general and your pussy in particular will short-circuit at least two of the three basic reasons right away. And while you can’t account for the sexual prowess of your partner, you will be able to direct him/her on how to touch and make love to you. And that, my dear, takes care of the third basic reason.

One other thing, a lot of women don’t relax during sex…thus discomfort…because they worry about becoming pregnant. If you’re not well acquainted with all methods of contraception and actually practicing at least one of them, you’re not ready to have sex.

And one other thing, sexually transmitted infections ought to be a concern of both you and your partner. Don’t be a fuck-up; if your partner has a penis, he ought always use a condom.

Good luck

Share

Conversation Piece

Share

Hello sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday! And this week we welcome another new company to our review effort — the makers of the Moodsign This interesting adult product is supposed to help you reshape the way you communicate with your intimate partner.

Here to tell us all about Moodsign is Dr Dick Review Crew members, Denise & Ken.

The Moodsign and Card Game —— $39.99

Denise & Ken
Ken: “When Dr Dick asked us to review the Moodsign, I asked him; ‘what the hell is it?’ He said, “well, it’s not a sex toy, per se, but it is a device that is supposed to help a couple communicate about sex. And it comes with a card game that looks like fun. Would you guys like to give it a try?’”moodsign-packaging-front
Denise: “I glanced over at Ken while Dr Dick was telling us this. And I thought Ken’s eyes were going to roll out of his head. He does the eye-rolling thing so often; I don’t think he knows how obvious he’s being. So before Ken could open his mouth again, I chimed in and said, ‘sure, we’d be happy to review it.’ Ken nudged me and flashed that ‘are you serious?’ look at me. I pretended not to notice.”
Ken: “Ok, so maybe I was being a little transparent, but I couldn’t imagine how a gadget which lights up was gonna get me laid more often. And lets be honest, that’s what we’re talkin’ about here, right?”
Denise: “Tactful! But I did see his point. Ken and I both love sex, but our schedules are such that we often miss opportunities to have a little fun because we can’t read one another’s mind. I thought, if the Moodsign did nothing more than help us with that, it would be a winner.”
Ken: “Well, when she puts it like that, I began to understand. Maybe this is a good place to stop and tell you what the Moodsign is. It’s a sleek hard plastic thing that stand, about 5” tall. It has two clear plastic arms, one on each side, that can be raised to make a signal. Additionally, the arms light up, (powered by 3-AAA batteries, not included) and can be cycled through several different colors. Once I got over myself, I began to see how something as simple as this could actually make a huge difference in letting Denise know that I’m up for a little slap and tickle, I was sold.”moodsign-rabbit-style
Denise: “Listen, I already know that Ken is ‘up’ for ‘it’ just about all the time, but now I had a way of signaling to him that I too was ‘up’ for ‘it’ and I could even be really specific about the kind of ‘it’ I might be up for. This was a game changer. Once Ken and I familiarized ourselves with the Moodsign, we decided to map out our own secret code for one another. Since the lighted arms can point down, outward, and up, we decided that this would signify our interest in and availability for some kind of sexual intimacy. If Ken was hot to go, he’d raise his lighted arm all the way up. I could then respond by raising my lighted arm to ‘hot-to-go,’ ‘maybe,’ or ‘not now, but thanks for asking.’”
Ken: “And then we designated a code for the colored lights to correspond to the kind of intimacy we were into — ‘cuddling,’ ‘making-out,’ ‘sensual massage,’ ‘fucking,’ that sort of thing.”
Denise: “I suggested that we reserve one color for non-sexual communication, like when we get into argument. We could signal to one another that we are ready to talk about whatever it was that set us off. The more we used the Moodsign, the more versatile it became. I found it really delightful and amazingly helpful.”
Ken: “You want to know what I like best? I like that Denise and I can pretty much carry on this really dirty conversation with one another right in front of the kids and they remain clueless. I mean, they’ve seen us fiddle around with the Moodsign, but I just told them it had something to do with work and they were fine with that.”
Denise: “Yeah, the secret code thing is way fun; it’s like being a kid again. I know it sounds silly, but why shouldn’t sex be fun and even a little silly from time to time? There was this one time that Ken and I got our signals crossed, so to speak. I was expecting a backrub and he was expecting a blowjob. Instead of getting all freaked out when we realized the mix up, we just laughed and laughed. In the end, he got what he wanted and I got what I wanted. Why didn’t someone think of this before now?”card_quid_pro_quo
Ken: “Before we conclude we should mention a little something about the card game that came with the Moodsign. You don’t have to buy the cards, but the package we got from Dr Dick the cards were bundled with the Moodsign.”
Denise: “The cards are color coded, some are blank. All are intended to spice up a couple’s sex life. You can use the cards in conjunction with the Moodsign or on their own. There are fantasy cards, customizable cards, and ‘quid pro quo’ cards. The Moodsign website has some playful suggestions on how to use the cards, so you’ll want to check that out. The cards are very hetero-centric, so keep that in mind.  But the Moodsign is for anyone in a relationship.”
Ken: “Ya know; as strange as this sounds, the Moodsign has actually improved our communication skills. I guess sometimes a unassuming gadget, like the Moodsign, can make a pretty big change in a relationship.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

Share

Thou Shalt Not

Share

Name: Lynn
Gender: Female
Age: 36
Location: Toronto
I’m a mother of three great kids. My oldest, who is in middle school, went to camp for the first time this past summer. A local church group sponsors the camp every year. When my husband and I asked him about his time away from home, he said rather noncommittally; “It was ok.” He seemed to like it well enough, but you know how uncommunicative kids can be at that stage.
Anyhow, yesterday I was packing away some summer stuff for the winter and discovered a pamphlet in my son’s backpack that he used at camp. It was for an “Abstinence Only” program. It was full of the most dreadful sex-negative fear and shame. It was awful. We are not raising our kids like that; my husband and I were appalled.
Now we’re wondering if this is why our son was so unenthusiastic about his camp experience. Do you think we should quiz him on this?
What gives with this kind of indoctrination anyway? I thought that those “Abstinence Only” programs had been discredited.

So wait; are you sayin’ that you think just because a social engineering strategy, like abstinence-only, has been debunked that it wouldn’t still be employed by certain factions of our culture? Oh hun, I think you oughta rethink that supposition right away, don’t cha know.abstinence_only-1

I mean, come on! There are loads of outdated and discredited philosophies still being promulgated as a means to ensnare the uninformed and gullible. I don’t know about ya’ll up there in Canadaville, but here in Amercanski land we have a whole segment of our population who believes that creationism as a viable explanation for the universe. In fact, one or another of these idiots runs for national office, even for President of these here United States, as a Republican in every election cycle.

So, as you can see, there’s not necessarily a connection between what has been discredited and what is still wildly popular in some segments of our population.

Way back in the spring of 2007, a long-awaited congressionally funded national study concluded that abstinence-only sex education does not keep teenagers from having sex. Nor does it increase the likelihood that, if they do have sex, they will use a condom.

Authorized by Congress in 1997, the study followed 2000 children from elementary and middle school into high school. The children lived in four communities — two urban, two rural. All of the children received the family life services available in their community; in addition, slightly more than half of them also received abstinence-only education.

By the end of the study, when the average child was just shy of 17, half of both groups had remained abstinent. The sexually active teenagers had sex the first time at about age 15. Less than a quarter of them, in both groups, reported using a condom every time they had sex. More than a third of both groups had two or more partners.

So if abstinence-only programs don’t work, at least the way they are supposed to; why do we still have them? Ahhh, good question. We still have them because for a large segment of the population, especially those who are makin’ all them babies, it’s easier to just tell their kids “NO” than to step up to the plate and educate their kids about sex in a wholesome and holistic way.

Bennett editorial cartoonAnother problem is that the word abstinence often means something quite different to kids than it does to adults. That’s one reason why abstinence-only programs do not have strong effects in preventing teenage sexual activity. At least that’s what a University of Washington study found.

The researchers found that interventions that encourage abstinence treat abstinence and sexual activity as opposites. Teenagers, on the other hand, don’t consider them to be mutually exclusive concepts. Like in the congressionally sponsored study, the UW researchers found abstinence-only programs are less likely to work than more comprehensive sex-education programs because they are not speaking the same language as adolescents.

The study also showed that attitudes and intentions about sex were more powerful than attitudes and intentions about being abstinent. No surprise there, I suppose.

Again, I don’t know how things are there in Canada, but down here there is no federal funding for comprehensive sex-education. But there’s a shit-load of funding for abstinence-only programs. Funding mushroomed from $9 million in1997 to $176 million in 2007. Leave it to congress to dump loads of money into a program that doesn’t work. But such is the power of the conservative religious lobby. They are the people who back these programs.

This wouldn’t be such a big issue if it didn’t hold such dire consequences. For example, the United States has the highest teen pregnancy rate among all first-world nations. The rates of sexually transmitted diseases in this country are also astronomical. If we want to keep our young people safe from the negative aspects of casual sex, abstinence-only programs are not the way to go.abstinence

However, more comprehensive programs that include abstinence as one choice are much more likely to have a more productive outcome. Besides, is it ever a good idea to try and motivate people with fear and shame? I don’t think so.

Since abstinence-only programs often only look at the negatives of sex, it doesn’t really empower a young person to take responsibility for his/her behaviors. This is particularly thorny for young women who often bear the brunt the peer pressures to be sexual. And they have way more at stake in terms of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

When kids aren’t expected to take responsibility for their behaviors, especially in terms of sexuality, it cripples their ability to make good life-affirming choices. Abstinence-only programs disqualify all sexual options, even the relatively innocuous behaviors like mutual masturbation and oral sex. So if all sexual options are equally out of bounds, there’s no way for the average kid to distinguish between harmless and risky behaviors. And this is what leads to the high rate of sexually transmitted infections and unplanned pregnancies.

If we want our kids to grow up with healthy and integrated attitudes about sex, ones that will lead to more loving and fulfilling sexual relationships later in life, we ought teach from a more sex-positive theory.

Back to the other question you raise; the one about quizzing your son about his camp experience. I think that would be great. It would let him know that you care, that you don’t support this fear and shame-based approach to human sexuality and that he doesn’t have to embrace it either.

Good Luck

Share

More of The Erotic Mind of Matthew Stillman — Podcast #396 — 10/28/13

Share

Hey sex fans, welcome back.matthew stillman03

The incomparable Matthew Stillman is back with us today for Part 2 of his appearance on this The Erotic Mind show. As you probably recall from last week, Matthew is the author of Genesis Deflowered, in which he reworked the first book of the bible by adding all the missing sex scenes and he did so while keeping his addition faithful to the literary style of the King James Version.

This week I hope to prevail upon Matthew to read from his work. Of course, we’re all goin’ to hell for even contemplatin’ this blasphemy. But what the heck, we already know we’re headed in that direction anyway, huh?

But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1 of our chat, did you? Well not to worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in the Podcast Archive right here on my site. All ya gotta do is use the search function in the header; type in Podcast #395 and PRESTO! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

Matthew and I discuss:

  • Being called out as a blasphemer;
  • Getting reacquainted with the story of Cain and Abel;
  • The expression of desire;
  • Horrific violence and tender love;
  • God sets up boundaries;
  • The appearance of other humans besides Adam, Eve and their boys;
  • The first biblical 3-way;
  • Biblical euphemisms for different kinds of sex and orgasm;
  • The upcoming Exodus Deflowered;
  • The discontent of the literalists and fundamentalists;
  • Biblical sexual mythology and controlling human sexual appetites;
  • The Alphabet vs The Goddess;
  • Women and men both lose, but women lose the most.

Look for Matthew’s Twitter feed HERE!

(Click on the cover art below to buy Matthew’s amazing book.)

Genesis Deflowered Cover MEDIUM

 

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

drdickvod.jpg

Share

Isn’t she lovely

Share

Hello sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday! We welcome another new company to our review effort — Fun Toys today. They are relative new-comers to the world of adult products. And, right out the gate, they’ve brought the world a very unique and innovative vibe, the topic of today’s review. Their company slogan is Orgasm Delivery!

Well, we’ll just see about that, don’t cha know. Dr Dick Review Crew member, Jada is here with her thoughts and comments.

G Vibe —— $99.99

Jada
I am delighted to be the one to bring you news of a truly remarkable and inventive new vibe. It’s called the G Vibe and it comes from a company called Fun Toys. Well, my friends, no need to beat around the bush; I’m smitten.

G Vibe02The G Vibe looks like no other vibe I’ve ever seen. It looks as though someone took a regular insertable vibe and sliced it down the middle, producing two forked tongues, each of which vibrates. The two tongues are ultra-flexible and the whole vibe is covered in the most deliciously soft and velvety 100% medical grade silicone. And that makes it, as you probably already know, latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic. It’s the dream material for insertables. The G Vibe comes in several colors, mine is rose.

Embedded in the handle of G Vibe is a hard plastic ring, with a metallic finish. This allows you to slip two fingers (index and middle) into the handle so that your thumb is perfectly positioned on the three-button control panel. When activated the buttons light up. It is super-ergonomic and clearly lovingly designed.

Speaking of the control panel, it’s among the easiest I’ve ever used. The top button is marked with a “+.” This turns on the vibe and accelerates the intensity of the vibrations from mild to wow! The middle button marked with a wavy icon rotates through the six vibrating modes. The lower button is marked with a “-.” This decelerates the intensity of the vibrations and turns the unit off.

The G Vibe is about 9.5” long, with an insertable length of about 6”. The girth of a single tongue is approximately 2.5” and the girth of the two tongues together is about 4.5”

Each of the tongues of the G Vibe has its own motor. And the flexibility of the tongues is what makes it so versatile. Squeeze the two tongues together to insert the shaft of the vibe. Of course, the tongues separate once inserted. The two tongues delivers a sensation of fullness without stretching the entrance of your vagina. This makes for lovely G-spot stimulation. Insert one tongue and maneuver the other tongue to your clit. Or slip the G Vibe over your clit or nipples in a clothespin like fashion. Or use the tongue tips to tickle and tease anywhere on your body or your partner’s body. Let your imagination and your creativity guide you to find all the possible uses and pleasure techniques. Look to the pamphlet that is included in the box for inspiration.G Vibe01

Any men out there reading this will be pleased to know that G Vibe can be used anally too. Again, squeeze the two tongues together to insert the shaft of the vibe an experience a unique prostate massage. Or insert one tongue anally and the other will deliver delightful perineum stimulation. I think the G Vibe is ideal for couple play. Be sure to use only a water-based lube with this beauty. A silicone-based lube would degrade and mar it’s finish.

The motors are powerful yet remarkably quiet. And the G Vibe is rechargeable! The recharge port is in the base of the handle. A small flap of silicone covers the port when the recharging cord has been removed.

Sadly, the design of the charger port, with the flap and all, makes the G Vibe only water resistant, not waterproof. This is the only drawback that I can see to this superior vibe. I so wanted to have the G Vibe join me in the bath, where I do most of my self-pleasuring. Unfortunately, that will never happen. Maybe Fun Toys will consider a recharge port redesign at some point, which will make the G Vibe waterproof.

G Vibe03Mild soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize for sharing. Be sure to rinse in warm water and let it air dry afterward.

The lovely gift box the G Vibe comes in is very stylish, yet all the components are recyclable. I love that Fun Toys is environmentally conscious. The box closes with a magnetic latch. Inside the box, under the lift out insert that holds the G Vibe in place, you will find the owner’s manual, the USB recharger cord, and an attractive drawstring storage bag featuring the Fun Toys logo. Everything about this presentation says elegant without being ostentatious.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

Share