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Foreskin freak outs!

Hey sex fans,

I know what you’re thinkin’: Hey Dr Dick, what’s up with your podcasts? Well I’ll tell ya. It’s true I haven’t posted a podcast in two weeks. But there’s a good reason. I’ve been busy, damnit! I have a new book coming out in a matter of days and all my energies have been focused in that direction. Gettin’ a book published is like birthin’ babies, don’t cha know.

That being said, I have put together a fantastic line up of guests for my show that will delight and amaze you. And my stellar guest list will take us into the fall. So stay tuned; podcasts will resume next week, Monday, 07/15/13.

To tide you over till then, I have some interesting Q&A from all over the freakin world.

Jerome and Conor, an American and an Englishman. each present a similar problem.

Name: Jerome
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Location: CA
Dr Dick, I have an uncut penis and when I’m in the shower and my foreskin is pulled back, the head of my dick hurts pretty bad from the falling water. The shower is not heavily pressurized, but it still hurts. Any answers?

AND

Name: Conor
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Location: London
My helmet is really sensitive I think it is because it is never really exposed because it is always behind my foreskin. How do I make it become less sensitive? Thanks

You boys have got your work cut out for you with the whole desensitizing thing, don’t cha know. Ya see, the more bodyasart5420you expose your sensitive dickhead to direct stimulation, be it touch or whatever, the less sensitive it will become.

I realize this isn’t gonna be all that pleasurable, at least not in the short-run, but you will find that in a matter of days this hypersensitivity will begin to reverse itself and pleasure will replace discomfort. Jerome, you have the right idea with the shower thing. However, you might want to try buffering your dickhead with a thin piece of fabric, like a handkerchief, at first. Once you can tolerate that level of sensation, remove the cloth and let the shower flow hit you dickhead directly. Make sure you do this daily for as long as you can stand it. Like I said, this will help desensitize your dickhead in a matter of days.

Once you’re out of the shower apply some nice lotion to your cockhead. This will diminish some the sensitivity. It will also help your fingers move easily on and around it.

Make sure that you fully retract your foreskin each time you jerk off. Every time you come in contact with your glans you will be desensitizing it. Patience and perseverance are the keys to making this happen in a relatively short period of time. If you are conscientious about this you will notice a difference in sensitivity in just a matter of days. Remember, it’ll be a no pain/no gain sorta thing, at least at the beginning.

To assist you in this process, you might consider trying a desensitizing lotion or cream to reduce some of the hypersensitivity. Some of these products are sold as a means of increasing ejaculatory control. But they also work for problem sensitivity too. Ya see these lotions and creams will have a “numbing effect” on your cock. If you choose to use one of these products, use it sparingly and only for a limited time.

If you check out MY STOCKROOM you will find several such products. Look for Boy Butter Extreme. It’s a desensitizing water-based lube, which contains 7.5% benzocaine; a strong local anesthetic, the maximum amount allowed by law.

Or look for Analyse Me! Anal Comfort Spray. Obviously, this is a product developed to desensitize your butt hole before fucking. But again, this will work on your dickhead as well. This product is lidocaine and benzocaine free.

Good luck you guys

A_Foreskin_Retraction_Series

Name: Saukha
Gender: Male
Age: 27
Location: India
Hi Doc, My problem is a stiff / tight frenulum. For past few months whenever I make love with my wife, it hurts, feels like something slightly rips, after applying anti-fungal ointments it gets ok but when we do it again it reoccurs and hurts when I wash my penis with plain water. IS there any ointment or cream, which would help frenulum to get more stretchable? Or is circumcision the only answer to my problem as we are planning for a family and don’t wanna go under the knife (if something goes wrong), just a bit scared for it. Please help and guide. Thanks a lot in advance.

Why are you using an anti-fungal ointment? Do you have some kind of a skin condition that requires you to use a use an anti-fungal treatment under your foreskin? If you don’t, you are probably adding to your problems by using this stuff. An anti-fungal ointment will dry out your skin, particularly under your foreskin. And that sounds like your problem right there.

Are you using a nice personal lube when you fuck? If not, that’s what you need to introduce into your lovemaking. This will not just be for you, of course. It’ll also for you lovely wife. A nice silicone-based or water-based lube will work wonders on your dick and it will assist in your wife’s comfort too. Please, give it a try.

There’s no reason you should have to consider circumcision. But the proper care and upkeep of your foreskin is essential to a properly functioning natural cock. I’ve written and spoken extensively about this. Go to the CATEGORIES section in the sidebar and look under the heading Body Issues for the subcategory — Foreskin. There’s loads of information there.

You probably saw the comments I made to the two guys right above, right? A desensitizing cream or lotion might help you too. But whatever you do, stop drying out the delicate tissue under your foreskin.

Good luck

Boys Will Be Boys

Name: James
Gender: Male
Age: 19
Location:
I want to know if I should have sex with a man for the first time.

Well gee, darlin’, I suppose that would all depend on if you are into man-sex or not. If you are, I suppose having your first encounter will be like falling off a log. However, if you’re not into gay sex, then why would you even be considering such a thing.boys kissing

For the sake of argument, let’s just say you are into some hot man-on-man action, or think you are. If that’s the case, I have some questions. Do you have a particular partner in mind? If you do, what is it about this guy that makes you want to get physical with him? If you’re honest with yourself about this, you will probably be able to determine what kind of sexual contact you want to have with the dude. Which brings me to my next set of questions.

What kind of gay sex are you looking to experiment with? Something light, like kissing, making out, mutual masturbation, shared hand-jobs? For more information on this, check out my swell tutorial about hand jobs titled: The Art Of The Humble Hand Job.

Perhaps you’re looking to be a bit more adventurous, like cock sucking. That’s great too. But wait! Would you know how to smoke some pole with grace and ease? If not, check out my tutorial: So Ya Wanna Be A World-Class Cocksucker …Or How To Give The Perfect Blow Job. To find this brilliant expose and lots more information about the humble hummer, go to the CATEGORY pull down menu in the sidebar and look for “ORAL.” Then look for Cock Sucking.

Maybe you’re considering butt fucking. That’s a bit advanced for the gay sex novice, but it’s not unheard of. If I were you, I’d return to the CATEGORY pull down menu in the sidebar and check out the heading “ANAL”. There you will be treated to loads of information about being a good top, like my tutorial, Finessing That Ass Fuck — A Tutorial For a Top. As well as my tutorial for being a good bottom, Liberating The B.O.B Within.

There’s only one thing you absolutely need to know when it comes to ass fuckin, regardless of what position floats your boat. Be sure that whoever is on top uses a condom. And if you don’t know why you need to do that, then darlin’, you’re just not ready for sex with any kind of partner…same sex or otherwise.

Good luck

Name: Tony
Gender: Male
Age: 24
Location:
I’m trying to find out how to get ink marks off my dick without hurting my dickhead.

Whoops! Looks like you need to reevaluate the company you keep when you drink to the point of passing out, my friend.

I realize writin’ shit on a guy’s johnson while he’s unconscious is a hilarious practical joke among the frat-boy crowd. I mean, what could be funnier, right? Of course being on the receiving end of this little prank, like our friend Tony here, is considerably less comical.

i enjoy penisRidding oneself of ink marks, particularly the indelible variety, from one’s privates is a pain — both literally and figuratively. The best one can say about this clean-up chore is that it will probably cure the guy of binge drinking, at least with a bunch of rowdy adolescent-minded companions with Sharpie markers and too much time on their hands.

OK, Tony, here’s what you do. First, apply a liberal coat of baby oil or mineral oil to the effected area. Take your time massaging the oil into your skin. You may discover that this oily massage gives you a woody. That may be the silver lining to your ink-stained cloud. Actually having an erection will help expand the skin of your dickhead and allow the mineral oil to better penetrate the skin. The oil will sink into your skin and help lift the ink stain to the surface.

Follow this part of the treatment with lots of warm soap and water. You should see ink stain lessening.

Next, massage in a liberal mount of rubbing alcohol. Follow this with more warm soap and water.

Continue alternating between mineral oil followed by soap and water and rubbing alcohol followed by soap and water. Always ending the treatment with the soap and water part. A couple applications like this should do the trick. I would, however, recommend that you be as gentle as possible. If the satin persists after two such applications, give your prick a day to rest before attacking the stain again.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Willie Worry & Willie Pride

Name: Matilda
Gender: Female
Age: 20
Location: Puerto Rico
I’m trying to understand something. All the guys I know are so obsessed with their penis. It’s like the whole world revolves around what they have in their pants. This is so different from how women relate to their genitals. I just can’t understand how men and women can be so different. What gives?

I suppose the short answer is that men have external genitals and women have internal genitals. We also have way more cultural permissions to explore their bodies then women do. That pretty much sets the stage for everything else.

jon-hamm's-hamOf course this is a double-edged sword, so to speak. At every stage of life there’s a potential downside to our pal’s perpetual presence. Familiarity can, and often does, breed contempt. The delicate dance we do with our dick can suddenly go out of balance. Admiration can turn to contempt and pride of ownership can morph into pangs of inadequacy. This predicable human tendency gives rise to as much willie worry as willie pride.

That’s why most men are obsessed with their johnson. But how do we get that way, you might wonder? Well your question got me to thinking about how us men folk form this particular relationship with our unit. So I started to jot down some thoughts on us men and our meat.

Nothing quite captures a man’s imagination like his cock. Its size, shape and general appearance is a source of endless wonderment to each of us. Maybe it’s because our buddy is always right there, just hanging around waiting for a little attention. And let’s face it, we are always checkin’ it out, right? We’re forever giving it a little tug, playing a little pocket pool, adjusting it for a bit more comfort. It keeps us company when we are alone and we never leave the house without it. It’s perfectly natural for us to grab hold of our unit several times a day simply to relieve ourselves. And, who among us, while it’s right there in our hand, doesn’t stop for a moment and admire its many attributes.

Our fascination begins at birth. Hey, did you know that we are born sexually aroused? (Women are too, but that’s another story.) That’s right, our infant stiffy is loaded for pleasure from day one.New-baby-boy-weight-11-pounds

Babyhood is spent figuring out the complexities of our body and gaining control over all our moving parts. We kick our legs, flail our arms, and outstretch our hands and fingers to test their capacities and develop muscle coordination. Then, one fateful day, our spasmodic movements suddenly bring our fingers in contact with our little baby penis. In an instant we make a mental note of this startling connection, how this particular touch equals delicious pleasure, and a life-long friendship begins.

Some social scientists suggest that our desire to purposely reconnect with our penis, to repeat the pleasurable sensations that occurred when first we accidentally brushed-up against our cock, is one of the most powerful motivators for further self-discovery and the development of motor skills. “If touching this part gives me this much pleasure, I wonder what else on my body will do the same?” How innocent we once were!

Babyhood gives way to boyhood and our favorite toy leads the way. We spend hours mindlessly fondling ourselves. Simply placing our hand on our dick can calm us when we are anxious as well as gives us a sense of overall wellbeing. Mastering our pee sessions, which takes quite a bit of clever hand/eye/penis coordination, is cause for great joy among the grown-ups. But negative messages are also beginning to seep in; and some are none too subtle. “Leave it alone!” That’s dirty!” “Put some cloths on!” Someone is always trying to get between our buddy and us.

relievingIn time we notice that we’re not alone, other boys and men have a joystick too. Along with our natural curiosity come the inevitable comparisons. “His looks different.” Wow, that’s big.” But almost immediately, we learn that checkin’ out another dude’s package is not just bad, but it’s real bad. Of course this doesn’t make us stop, we just learn how to do it on the sly. The prohibition against looking, coupled with our natural curiosity make for a potent, but dangerous mix.

Puberty arrives with all kinds of surprises, not least of which is the discovery that Mr. Wonderful suddenly has a mind of his own. His unruly behavior is often an embarrassment: stirring to life and tenting in our pants at the most awkward moments. At the same time, we also discover new and exquisite pleasures. Our gun is now loaded. The incessant build up of sexual tension throws us into a frenzy of masturbation. We begin to beat our meat like it owes us money. We spurt and spew with wild abandon. Well, until we’re busted by the grown ups, that is. In short order waves of repression from everywhere begin layer on guilt and shame. What was once such a natural a part of life has now become this great big conflict.

Our hormones rage and the dictates of biology press upon us with a counter force to the repression. Navigating this minefield is a huge challenge, especially when we haven’t a clue what’s happening to us or how to control it. Sex information is sparse when there’s any at all. And most of what we hear is woefully unreliable. The information we get comes mostly from older boys, who are more knowledgeable than us. They hint at pleasures and intimacies we’ve yet to discover. They boast of their conquests, of bustin’ a nut, of big schlongs and wet pussies. The message becomes clear; the bigger your buddy the happier and more successful you’ll be at baggin’ the chicks.morning-wood

Adulthood is a mixed bag for our dick and us. Being a grownup has its privileges. There are fewer people around to dictate our behaviors, but there is also loads of worry and stress. And we soon discover that our cock is the first to suffer. Pressures to mate, to make money, and compete with rival males for status, power and position take their toll. The privileges of being an adult — fast living, late hours, a poor diet, alcohol and drug consumption soon lead to, burn out, sleep deprivation, weight gain, medical problems and a host of prescription medications.erection comics

Our old buddy is in rebellion. Maybe he’s retaliating for the pressures we’ve placed on him, or the fact that we pay him less and less attention till we call him up for active duty. And then we expect him to perform like he did when we were lads. Fickle and stubborn as always, Mr Wonderful refuses to comply.

Our golden years are marked by more time for ourselves, but there’s also less autonomy. Our body doesn’t respond as it once did, or even like it did a few years earlier. While the pressures of life diminish, and a kind of peace settles in, medical problems proliferate. Happily, our hormones no longer rule us. But despite the quieting of our passions there is always desire.

All our life we’ve equated performance and stamina with virility and potency, but now our once vibrant buddy seems downcast, listless and decidedly unresponsive.

And that’s why us men have such an obsession with our cock, Matilda. It’s virtually impossible not to.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Bustin’ A Nut!

Soooo glad the holidays are over. I’m also looking forward to another year of doin’ the Dr Dick thing. Let’s kick things off with this oh so brief question from Chris.

Name: Chris
Gender: Male
Age: 21
Location: Portland, OR
Can a man have an orgasm without ejaculating?

You betcha, Chris! And not only that, but it is relatively easy for a man to become multi-orgasmic. On the other hand, it’s very, very rare indeed for a guy to be multi-ejaculatory. This phenomenon, while not completely unheard of, is generally something that only happens to young men.male_masturbation

It’s pretty evident to anyone who is paying the least amount of attention that an ejaculation is not the same thing as an orgasm. And anyone paying the least amount of attention would also know that it possible to ejaculate without having an orgasm. But that’s the problem isn’t it? Most of us men folk don’t really take the time to notice how our bodies work and so we miss the distinction between the two.

What do ya say we take a minute to discern the difference between an ejaculation and an orgasm? Maybe this will encourage those in my audience who haven’t stopped to notice, to pay a bit more attention to their sexual responses. When we shoot, or dribble as the case may be, a load, or dab as the case may be, of spooge out our cock; this is called an ejaculation. When we have undulating waves of pleasure that seems to rise up from deep inside our pelvis; this is an orgasm. There are big ones and smaller ones. Obviously, these two responses — ejaculation and orgasm — often happen simultaneously. In fact, the muscle contractions of the one often add to the intensity of the other. But still they are independent of one another.

Another thing, a guy can ejaculate and orgasm without an erection. Just because there’s no stiffy doesn’t mean the nerve endings are disconnected. But again, few men bother to discover the joys a soft cock is capable of. And some even have shame when they have difficulty getting an erection. That’s too bad, because it just adds to the performance anxiety.

1sexual_response_cycle_maleAn orgasm is an orgasm, regardless if you are a man or a woman. They are simply waves of pleasure generated by the release of sexual tension and the accompanying muscle contractions. If a guy is to become multi-orgasmic he’s got to learn to ride the wave without rushing to conclude the event with an ejaculation. Some guys do this through edge play, others through tantric sex practices. Either way, the end result is the same; prolonging the pleasure with the intention of building to an explosive orgasm, which may or may not include an ejaculation.

In terms of physiology, an ejaculation is merely a muscle reflex. These can happen independent of conscious pleasuring, like in a wet dream. The same is true for someone with a spinal cord injury. He will indeed ejaculate with the proper stimulus, he just can’t feel it. At the same time, both paraplegic men and women report having orgasmic feelings that are not the result of any genital contact. They say their orgasmic sensations come through kissing, nipple play, neck and ear stimulation, or other kinds of erotic touch.

I know several able-bodied men who also claim to have nipple-generated orgasms. I even jizz009knew a woman once who claimed she was able to “fantasize herself to orgasm.” Our bodies are amazing that way. Unfortunately, most of us never discover the tremendous capacities of our bodies because we condition ourselves to expect the same response from the exact same stimuli.

Ya know how some folks talk about having different kinds of orgasms — vaginal orgasms, G-spot orgasms, clitoral orgasms, prostate orgasms and the like? Well it’s not that one orgasm is physiologically different than another; it’s more an issue of how complex our bodies are. We are hot wired for pleasure in several places on our body. We can discover that stimulating different pleasure centers will achieve a similar response.

Men who don’t take the time to explore the capacities of their bodies basically lose out. It’s like having a $100,000 Ferrari automobile to drive. Then only driving it in first gear. We miss out on so much in our rush to cum. We conflate the two very different experiences — ejaculation and orgasm, leaving a vast territory of pleasure unacknowledged, let alone unexplored.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

A Word To The Wise

Name: DJ
Gender: Male
Age: 39
Location: Northern Minnesota
I’ve been in a gay relationship for almost 12 years now. My partner and I are very happy and I’ve been thinking about adding a new addition to our relationship just to spice things up a little bit. We were looking through the gay personals online and we found this guy who happens to be a patient of mine. He’s just our type. He’s a handsome, well built bear in his early 40’s. We’re considering contacting him, but we’re not sure if that would be crossing a line. So if you could give us some advice that would be great. Thanks.

Ahhh let’s see, the short answer is; yes, you would be crossing a line. Offering your patient a tryst, with you and your hubby would indeed be way on the other side of that line. Ya know the old adage, “Don’t shit where you eat?” Well, this is exactly like that, only completely different.

While I’m happy to support you and your man as you work toward opening your relationship by adding a playmate or two, the current object of your desires is, to my mind, inappropriate. I think it’s always ill advised for professional people in general, and healing and helping professionals in particular, to get involved (romantically or otherwise) with their clients or patients. There’s always the possibility of a conflict of interest, but more importantly, there’s the issue of propriety.

That’s not to say that this sort of thing doesn’t happen all the time. It does. But I think there are significant potential problems for you, the professional, as well as this other guy, your patient.

When I’m faced with a similar dilemma in my own life, I sit myself down with pen and paper and write out all the pros and cons of a hook-up, even a casual one, with someone I have a professional relationship with. Regardless of whether I know the guy through my therapy practice or by way of my production company; it’s all the same for me. These are lines I should not cross. But sometimes I need to remind myself of that.

So with my pad and pen at the ready I quickly jot down the “pros” of the hook-up. These are always so easy to enumerate. He’s hot, he’s charming, he’s fun to be around, he’s got a great personality and a wonderful sense of humor and he’s single. Hell, he may even be hot for me…although that’s less likely these days, now that I’m an old fuck. But hey, it could happen! So if I only consider the “pros” this appears to be a match made in heaven. What could possible go wrong with this idyllic picture? WAIT!

That’s where the “cons” come in handy. They are the bane of my existence, but they also keep me out of harms way. If I’m struggling to come up with a list of “cons”, I simply conjure up, in my fevered little mind, the worst relationship I’ve ever had. Frankly, this isn’t a particularly difficult thing to do, because I’ve had some duesies in my time, don’t cha know. The reason I let my mind dredge up the sordid past like this is so that I can remember how bad things can get when a sex connection goes south. I do this to create a worst-case hook-up scenario so that I can imagine what it would be like if the guy in question was not just an unfortunate choice on my part, but he was also a client or porn pup on the rise.

With just this little mental prompting my “cons” category begins to grow and grow. This exercise pretty much puts the kybosh on my ardor and I happily forgo the pleasure of the company of the man in question. Is it possible that I’m overreacting, that the hook-up could have turned out to be a sheer delight? Absolutely! But, being the kind of guy I am, with the bum luck that I have, I’d just as soon not take the chance that it won’t. I have a reputation, checkered as it might be, to uphold. And screwing around with the wrong guy is bad enough; I don’t need the added complication of him thinking that I took advantage of him given my professional association with him.

I invite you to do the same sort of exercise yourself, DJ. First create a column of “pros.” Why does this forty-something, handsome, well-built bear patient of yours with the online profile make a great candidate for a playmate. I’ll bet that you and the hubby already have this all figured out. Now, create your “cons” column. Try to imagine all the awful things that could happen as a result of a sex connection that goes bad — ya know, the jealousy, the bitchyness, the backbiting, the rumors, stuff like that. And when you consider that he’s being invited to a manage-a-trois, well you can triple the risk factor. Like I said, the object here is to create the worst-case scenario. Screwing around with the wrong guy is bad enough; you certainly don’t need to add the complication of him thinking you took advantage of him given your professional association with him. If things go bad and he brings this little encounter to the attention of the medical board, you’d be in a heap of trouble.

Of course there is always the option of terminating your doctor/patient relationship before the fuck. In this case I advise there be at least a two-month hiatus between the end of your professional relationship and the start up of the sexual relationship. However, if I was your patient, and you offered me this option, I’d choose to maintain the professional connection we have. I’d be flattered by your interest in me, but I’d know that it’s much harder to find a good doc than it is to find a sweet bone….even in northern Minnesota.

Good luck

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