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My New Book

Dear friends and colleagues

I am pleased to announce the publication of my new book The Amateur’s Guide To Death And Dying: Enhancing The End Of Life.

(Click on the book art below for a synopsis and to purchase the book.)

The Amateur’s Guide To Death And Dying is specifically designed for terminally ill, chronically ill, elder, and dying people from all walks of life. But concerned family and friends, healing and helping professionals, lawyers, clergy, teachers, students, and those grieving a death will also benefit from reading the book.

The Amateur’s Guide To Death And Dying is a workbook that offers readers a unique group/seminar format. Readers participate in a virtual on-the-page support group consisting of ten other participants. Together members of the group help each other liberate themselves from the emotional, cultural, and practical problems that accompany dying in our modern age.

The Amateur’s Guide To Death And Dying helps readers dispel the myth that they are incapable of taking charge during the final season of life. Readers face the prospect of life’s end within a framework of honesty, activity, alliance, support, and humor. And most importantly readers learn these lessons in the art of dying and living from the best possible teachers, other sick, elder, and dying people.

The Amateur’s Guide To Death And Dying engages readers with a multitude of life situations and moral dilemmas that arise as they and their group partners face their mortality head on.

The Amateur’s Guide To Death And Dying offers readers a way to share coping strategies, participate in meaningful dialogue, and take advantage of professional information tailored to their specific needs. Topics include spirituality, sexuality and intimacy, legal concerns, final stages, and assisted dying. The book does not take an advocacy position on any of these topics. It does, however, advocate for the holistic self-determination of sick, elder, and dying people, which can only be achieved when they have adequate information.

Facing your mortality with the kind of support The Amateur’s Guide To Death And Dying offers does not eliminate the pain and poignancy of separation. Rather it involves confidently facing these things and living through them to the end.

This innovative workbook on death and dying is now available on Amazon and in bookstores. I welcome your thoughts, comments, and reviews.

All the best,
Richard

Richard Wagner, Ph.D., ACS
richard@theamateursguide.com
Our website: The AmateursGuide.com
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Buy the book HERE!

Jizz4U

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday and this week we review a great product that everyone can use and enjoy. And in doing so we welcome a new manufacturer to our review effort, CumShotLube. Can ya stand it? What a brilliant name.

Let’s check in with Dr Dick Review Crew members, Mick & Chuck, for their take on this new personal lubricant.

CumShotLube —— $12.99

Mick & Chuck
Mick: “Ya know, when it comes to lube, I pretty much though the Dr Dick Review Crew had covered all the bases. I thought for certain there wasn’t anything new under the sun. I mean you got your water-based lubes, your silicone-based lubes and your oil-based lubes and that pretty much sums it up.”
Chuck: “Don’t forget you’ve got your warming, arousing and desensitizing lubes and all those flavored lubes too.”
Mick: “Oh right! So you can imagine how unenthusiastic we were when Dr Dick handed us yet another bottle of lube to review. Of course our interest was peaked when we took a look at the label. I confess, the clever name, CumShotLube, got me smiling. But, I’ve been charmed by a product’s name before, only to discover the product sucked…and not in a good way.”
Chuck: “Dr Dick said he though we would be pleasantly surprised by CumShotLube. He said that he hadn’t seen anything like it before and he thought we were the perfect couple to review it. We always listen to what the good doctor says, so we took our little bottle of lube home with us intending to put it to good use in the coming days.”
Mick: “Our first play date with CumShotLube was at one of our mutual wank fests. Sometimes, after a hard day at work, we are too tired for a full-on fuck, So we pop some porn in the DVD player and settle in for an evening of pulling our puds. Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather when we broke out the lube. CumShotLube is fuckin’ amazing. I mean it looks and feels just like semen. A dollop of CumShotLube warming in the palm of my hand actually separated a bit, just like my own spooge does. It has the same consistency and viscosity of my own load. In fact, I couldn’t tell the difference between my cum and CumShotLube.”
Chuck: “Damn right! We both couldn’t believe our eyes. It’s so realistic. And it has no discernable taste, which is really important to me. A lot of lubes I’ve tried taste funny, kinda chemically, and that’s a deal breaker for me.”
Mick: “CumShotLube is long lasting too. I don’t know about you, but Chuck and I like to use one another’s cum to lubricate ourselves to a finish. Lets say he cums first. He shoots his wad on me and I scoop it up and slather it all over my cock. This is great, but actual spunk dries out really fast. Not CumShotLube.”
Chuck: “We had so much fun jacking off with this stuff we thought we’d try fucking with it too. We decided to warm the lube a bit in a bowl of hot water. This way, a shot of CumShotLube feels, as well as looks, like the real thing. And this lube has staying power. It doesn’t dry out like other water-based lubes we’ve tried.”
Mick: “We both noticed that there’s powerful erotic component to using CumShotLube. We even discussed this with Dr Dick. We think that jizz is a powerful aphrodisiac for a lot of guys, maybe even some women too. I know it is for us. We love to see it. We love to play with it. We love to rub it into our skin. It’s a huge turn on for us. With CumShotLube we get to indulge our little cum fetish as much as we would like.”
Chuck: “Ok, so CumShotLube, is the ideal personal lube for all your lubricant needs. But then again, there are lots of fine personal lubricants on store shelves these days. What sets CumShotLube apart from the others? It’s the play factor. And before you discount that, try to imagine your favorite porn movie without all the cum shots. I rest my case.”
Mick: “That’s funny, I was thinking the same thing. In fact, I was thinking how CumShotLube is going to revolutionize the porn industry. I think we all know that some of the money shots, as they are called in the industry, are faked. Now studio executives have CumShotLube to save the day. No more watered down mayonnaise.”
Chuck: “And think of all the guys who can’t of don’t shoot much of a load, if any. We have a friend who had prostate cancer and had is prostate removed. He has no ejaculate at all. This product will help him overcome being self consciousness about that. CumShotLube is condom compatible and you can use it with all your favorite toys, even with your expensive silicone toys. It won’t stain bedding or clothes either. We love the packaging too. Very creative!”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

More of The Erotic Mind of David de Lara — Podcast #332 — 05/14/12


Hello sex fans! Welcome back.

The gifted painter, illustrator and photographer, the man with this Texas sized talent, David de Lara, returns today for Part 2 of his appearance on this The Erotic Mind series.

And I am happy to report that David brings along with him another gallery of his delightful art for us to enjoy. You’ll find it below.

But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1of this delectable conversation, did you? Well not to worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in the Podcast Archive right here on my site. All ya gotta do is use the search function in the header; type in Podcast #331 and PRESTO! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

David and I discuss:

  • His early exploration of photography;
  • Being compelled to be creative;
  • The erotic vs. the pornographic;
  • His chosen media;
  • Coming to Seattle for the Seattle Erotic Art Festival;
  • What he looks for in a model;
  • His models are his collaborators;
  • What he looks for in the erotic art of others;
  • What the future holds for he and his work.

David invites you to visit him on his site HERE! Find him on Facebook HERE! His noteworthy blog HERE! And follow him on Twitter HERE!

(Click on the thumbnail images below to see another slideshow of some of David’s beautiful artwork.)

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

drdickvod.jpg

The Erotic Mind of David de Lara — Podcast #331 — 05/07/12


Hello sex fans! Welcome back.

I have a new edition of The Erotic Mind series in store for you today. I welcome a visual artist who is a gifted illustrator, painter and photographer. The man with this Texas sized talent is David de Lara.

On top of listening to the soft-spoken artist speak about his work; you will also have an opportunity to sample his work. David has graciously compiled a gallery of some of his art for you to enjoy. You’ll find it below.

David and I discuss:

  • Participating in Seattle Erotic Art Festival;
  • His name, a pseudonym — yes and no;
  • The creative community in Austin TX;
  • The erotic dimension in his work, both accidental and purposeful;
  • The three disciplines — drawing, painting and photography;
  • The collaboration he enjoys with his models;
  • The female form;
  • Dark, surreal, sensual and provocative;
  • His reverence for women;
  • Despite the edgy nature of some of his work, he is not kinky.

David invites you to visit him on his site HERE! Find him on Facebook HERE! His noteworthy blog HERE! And follow him on Twitter HERE!

(Click on the thumbnail images below to see a slideshow of some of David’s beautiful artwork.)

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Learning to ride

Hey sex fans!

We’re all back from Spring Break. Did you miss us? We sure missed you. So ok, let’s get this ball rolling again with a timely question from one of my correspondents.

Name: Drew
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Location: Boise
I’m gay, I’m a virgin, and I think I may be afraid of sex. In all the porn I’ve seen, the bottom guy looks uncomfortable and in pain, why would I want that? I’ve only done anything sexual with one guy and I was so anxious that I couldn’t even get up. I liked the guy, he was hot, and I enjoyed all the fore-play type stuff, but I just couldn’t do anything else. Any advice on how to get over this?

First thing, don’t ever look to porn for your sex education; you will surely be misled. Second, that grimace that you report seeing on the bottom’s face as he is being penetrated, may be a grimace of pleasure not pain. I think you are projecting your own discomfort on the guys in the movies.

Let me tell you a little story. The other day I was walking in the park with Ginger the dog. Actually, I was trying to walk like a normal person, but she was pulling me along like a maniac. We were both, in our own way, enjoying some beautiful spring weather and the sights, sounds and smells nature in its glory. As we walked along we encountered a father and son who were seriously involved in what appeared to be the kid’s first lesson in riding a bicycle…without training wheels. Despite the father’s patient encouragement the kid couldn’t seem to get the hang of it. He would start out ok, but just as soon as his dad let go of the back of his seat the boy would wobble and eventually crash. There were plenty of tears, a skinned knee and the boy’s fear and anxiety was thick enough to cut with a knife. It was quite a scene.

The kid was convinced that he didn’t have what it took to ride on his own. His defeatism fueled itself and became a self-fulfilling prophecy. He finally gave up. Sat down on a bench, his bike in a tangle at his side, and refused his father’s pleading that he try again. In the kid’s mind the bike was the enemy another attempt would only hurt and humiliate, and so the lesson ended.

What the kid lacked was self-confidence, a sense of adventure and probably more importantly — balance. I wish I had had an opportunity to suggest to the boy and his dad, that they might try another ploy. I wanted to say, set the bike aside and work on that balance thing first. This would surely increase the boy’s confidence and it wouldn’t cost a blow to his ego or his knee. And it would be fun.

I would have suggested the dad start by helping the kid walk on 4” curb, balancing himself as he went. Then the dad could increase the challenge to include balancing on one foot, then the other. Once the kid discovered the power within him to accomplish these tasks, the bike could be reintroduced. The father would assist the boy in drawing upon his skill in balancing on the curb to master balancing on his bike.

The same will be true for you, Drew. Sex is nothing to be afraid of. Rather it is a skill that one learns. Some, obviously, take to it quicker than others, but everyone can learn a happy, healthy sexual expression that will build self-esteem and bring great pleasure.

I want you to start exploring and enjoying your bottom on your own. Like the kid in the park, you need to acquaint yourself with the powers that lie within you. He needed to find a sense of balance within himself; you need to find the Big Old Butt Pirate within yourself.

Most all of the discomfort in butt fucking is associated with your sphincter muscle trying to resist whatever it is being inserted in your ass. When this muscle resists to the point of spasm things can become very painful. So here’s what I want you to do.

  • First, before you start playing with your hole — relax. Just like the kid in the park would have needed to calm himself before attempting to balance on the curb. The same is true for you.
  • Take a relaxing shower, a warm bath, and/or try some deep breathing exercises to center yourself.
  • Have a ready supply of a water-based lube handy. Silicone-based lubes are swell for these exercises too. However, oil-based lubricants aren’t recommended for use with a condom.
  • Start with a little self-pleasuring. Stroke your dick with your lubed hand and get into your happy place.
  • Gradually slather some of that lube on to your balls and taint. With legs open wide find your hole and play with your rosebud. Gently massage the area around your asshole, but don’t side your fingers in just yet. Simply get used to the feelings of playing at the opening of your ass.
  • Let your play include the tip of your finger entering your ass.
  • If you do this while you’re stroking your cock, you will find that your hole will actually open and invite your finger. That’s the great thing about pleasuring one part of your body while learning to pleasure another.
  • Once you are comfortable with your fingertip inside, try pushing it in further and move it around a little. Try pushing it and pulling it out of your ass. Ya know, like finger-fucking yourself.
  • Find your prostate. It shouldn’t be hard to find if you’re all horned up. It will feel smooth and hard, like a flat stone.
  • Give that puppy a nice gentle massage. If you’re still stroking your wood, don’t be surprised if this prostate massage gets you to bust your nut. In fact, you will find that your prostate actually enlarges a bit and becomes more firm just as you are about to shoot.
  • As you jizz you will also notice that your sphincter muscle will tighten around your finger and pulsate with each squirt

Continue these self-pleasuring exercises until you are comfortable inserting a couple fingers in your ass. Then try a small vibrating dildo. In no time at all you will be ready to jump on your bike and ride…so to speak.

With these exercises behind you, no pun intended, the first time you actually fuck with a partner will be the incredible experience it is meant to be. If you encounter any discomfort you’ll know what to do — deep breathing to relax and priming your hole with a lubed finger or two.

  • First, attend to your personal hygiene. Make sure you’re clean inside. We don’t want any unsightly and embarrassing mishaps to mess up the big event.
  • Remember to take it slow. There’s no rushing pleasure. And you’ll be the one in charge of what goes in your ass, when and for how long.
  • Warm up with some foreplay, kissing, sucking, licking, rimming touching and massaging.
  • Have condoms and lots of lube near to hand.
  • While you’re warming up, start loosening up your ass with your lubed fingers, just like in your self-pleasuring exercises.
  • Once you’re comfortable offer your ass to your partner. Have him replace your fingers with his own. Try some swell finger-fucking first.
  • Once you’re relaxed and loose, lie on your side with your partner behind you. Have him slowly push his cock against your rosebud.
  • Try pushing out like you are trying to take a dump. This will help open up your sphincter for his entry.
  • As he enters you, have him stop so that you can breathe deeply. Give your ass the time it needs to adjust to the new sensations. If there’s pain or discomfort have your partner reverse course and go back to finger fucking before you proceed.
  • Make sure that your partner knows that if you ask him to stop; he will stop. Trust is very important in butt fucking.
  • As he fills you with his dick he will hit your prostate. This will send waves of pleasure through your body and signal your sphincter to open for even more.
  • You may find that you’ll even want to push your ass back to meet and engulf his cock.

By the time this happens you will happily discover that you are ridding your bike all by yourself. And you will be very happy.

Good luck