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Loose Change

Name: Tia
Gender: Female
Age: 19
I have a problem. I’m still a virgin, but my bf thinks I’m not. It’s really my fault he thinks this, cuz I told him I was all experienced and everything. We’ve been going together for about 8 months already and I really want my first time to be with him, but how am I going to act all experienced when I don’t know what I’m doing.
HELP ME PLEASE!!!

That sure enough is a pickle you got yourself into darlin’. You’ve got some ‘splanin’ to do Lucy!

Funny, because I’m more likely to hear from young women who are not virgins, but who want to know how they can fool a new partner into thinking they are. I guess we can chalk up all this deception and confusion to the powerful associations every culture imposes on virginity…female virginity, that is.

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Like most things sexual there is a huge double standard between the cultural and individual importance of virginity for women as opposed to men. Cultural expectations about virginity are also tied to age as well as gender. For example, our society expects its 16-year-old girls to be virgins. To be otherwise, at that tender age, would be a scandal in most communities. (Jamie Lynn Spears comes immediately to mind.) But a 35 year old woman who is still a virgin is considered an old maid — or worse, a dyke.

Of course, things are more fluid when it comes to boys and men. On the one hand, a 16year old boy who is not a virgin may raise some eyebrows in some communities. But many others in those same communities would praise him for being a stud. On the other hand, a 35 year old man who is still a virgin is the butt of jokes — or worse, a queer. In fact, he’s also more of a disgrace to his gender than an old maid is to hers. Funny how that works, huh?

I hasten to add that there is a lot to argue with in terms of these arbitrary cultural norms, and I encourage ya’ll to argue away. God knows I do! And you don’t have to buy into them either. God knows I don’t! But till things change, these norms are the norms, like it or lump it.

I’d love to know why you felt the need to deceive your BF in the first place? Do the people you hang with, prize sexual experience over sexual innocence for a young woman of 19? And what are the expectations of your group regarding a 19 year old guy? I’ll bet the expectation is that he not be a virgin. Right?

Well you can see why a lot of people, not just you Tia, find this whole thing just too damned complicated. And rather than add to the confusion or the deception, I encourage you to come clean with the BF about your cherry.

Here’s why I think this is the best policy. First, if the BF is sexually experienced, it will be very difficult for you to hide the fact that you’re not. Besides, like you said in your message to me. “I really want my first time to be with him.” Why not just come out and tell him that, sweetheart? No man is gonna turn that down…ever. Simply put, that is the most sexually charged and treasured sentence in any language.

Begin the big talk with your man like this. “Baby, I got something real special to tell you. You know how I’ve been sayin that I’ve been with other guys and everything? Well that was just my way of keeping all the other guys from pestering me for my junk. Baby, the truth is that I haven’t had sex before now. And the best part of this is I’ve decided that I really want my first time to be with you. My cherry belongs to you, baby”

Like I said, Tia, no man is gonna turn that down. The BF will be so flattered you won’t have to pretend to be something you’re not. Clearing the air like this will also allow you to relax when the magic moment finally happens. And relaxation is the key to enjoying yourself. And you should enjoy yourself.

Name: Mikel
Gender: Male
Age: 25
Location: Seattle
My problem is: I have a fixation on cut dicks, so when I’m having sex with uncut people, I can’t enjoy it. I feel it’s dirty!!! Should I ask my partners their “shape” before having sex? Wouldn’t I sound like a whore?

What a curious concern you have. I mean, not the cut/uncut thing…that I understand. Lots of people have a preference for either natural or snipped meat, so I’m cool with that. Sometimes the preference is even culturally induced. Ok, fine! I also know that some guys prefer what they don’t have. Lots of clipped men like uncut cock, and lots of natural men prefer their partners to be cut. Some people make a big to-do about foreskin, as you suggest, because they think it’s unsightly and/or unclean. Personally, I think that’s complete baloney, but hey, to each his own. Right?

cock-buffet.jpgI also know that most people who have a strong cut/uncut preference want to know in advance if their perspective partner’s dick is to their liking. And obviously, the only way to find that out is to ask outright. Ok, so far so good.

What I don’t understand about your question is that you think it might be whorish to be up-front and ask a guy about the condition of his trouser snake. Like, WHY? Either you don’t understand the meaning of the word “whore,” or you’re too self-conscious about taking responsibility for your personal tastes in tonsil ticklers . Either way it makes no sense.

Think about it this way, say you don’t ask and you discover, to your great dismay, that the guy you’re about to bone has some fine lace curtains. And you get all turned off and this screws up the screwing. You feel bad, he feels bad, and you look like a jerk. Wouldn’t it have been better to save yourself and your unlucky partner the embarrassment of shutting down a fuck by taking responsibility for your predilection before cloths come flying off? Heck, I don’t know about you, but I’d prefer to be thought of as a whore than a complete asshole.

Dr Dick has a hard and fast rule when it comes to sex. If you can’t bring yourself to ask for what you want, then you deserve what you get.

Name: William
Gender:
Age: 30
Location: UK
Hi There
I am new to this scene, and I have very little experience in anal sex and I am seeking your help and advice. I am a top but I have a problem keeping my dick hard or staying hard during anal sex. I find it harder to fuck an ass compared to fucking a pussy. Here is the problem: Once I get my dick hard, put on a condom and start fucking, my dick sometimes goes soft on me. Is that normal? How can I keep my dick hard long enough in the ass to enjoy the fuck? Sometimes even when my dick is hard, I find it hard to penetrate an ass. I use lube, so what am I doing wrong? People in gay porn can fuck and fuck like there is no tomorrow. I want to enjoy anal sex too!! Any advice? Please let me know if there is anything I can do to improve in this area?

Boy, you’re in luck, William! Last week I published my long-awaited: Finessing That Ass Fuck — A Tutorial For a Top. Check it out! It’ll answer a lot of the questions you have about butt fucking.

But before you take off to read that, I’d like to address one of the specific issues you raise, about keeping your dick hard while fucking. You are right to point out that fucking an ass (male or female) is different from fucking a pussy. But regardless of what hole you’re invading, a nice hard stiffy issex_toys_dj212901.jpg essential.

Do you know what a cockring is, William? If not, I suggest you acquaint yourself with these amazing low-tech wonders. Here’s what you should do. Turn your attention to the Eden Fantasys banner at the top of this page. Click through that link and go to the Sex Toys for Men section. Look for Erection Help there you will see the link to cockrings. Prepare yourself to be sorely amazed at the variety and functionality of these little devils.

Cock rings can create larger and firmer erections. Since blood flow enters your dick through arteries deep inside your dick, and leaves it through the veins nearer the surface of your schlong; wearing a cock ring can help to sex_toys_gef90178bs.jpgkeep more blood inside your dick shaft. And as all you rocket scientists know, blood flow is what causes erections in the first place. Also some men claim that wearing a cock ring intensifies their orgasm.

I recommend the flexible and/or adjustable cockrings. These are generally made of stretchable rubber or leather. For the more daring there are the metal variety. These may look pretty, but they can be a bitch to put on and to take off. Here’s how ya put a rigid one on.

  1. Pull your ball sack through the ring first.
  2. Follow this by popping each of your balls through the ring one at a time.
  3. Now bend your cock down and pull it through the ring.

As you can see, putting one of these little buggers on before you have a raging hardon is gonna be easier. To take the cock ring off, simply reverse these steps, pushing your flaccid cock back through the ring first, followed by each of your balls and finally your ball sack.

It’s absolutely essential that you not wear an inflexible (metal) ring for longer than a couple hours. Make sure you don’t buy one that is too small either. If your dick is turning an angry red or worse, purple, or it is cold to the touch, you’re in trouble. Take that ring off immediately. If you don’t you will risk serious injury to your precious johnson.

Remember people, play smart with all your toys!

NEXT, ANOTHER SEXUAL ENRICHMENT TUTORIAL

Beginning Sex Play — Tips and Techniques

The most frequent questions I get are from your average dick and jane, (or dick and dick, or jane and jane) who want to spice up their sex life. Inevitably they describe the kind of sex they’re currently having. And almost universally the description makes this grown man cry. Jeez, the boredom. How do they stand it? It’s a wonder any of them are having any sex at all.

What is it with the humdrum, run of the mill, we’ve always done it that way mentality? Are ya’ll afraid that if you add a little something new to your sex chore. from time to time, that the sky will fall? Holy cow!

Today’s tutorial is another attempt to motivate you to get off your butts and make something interesting happen in the sex department. We’ll begin with what was once called foreplay.

First off, I hate the word “foreplay” because it suggests that all these really great sex activities are only a lead up to a single — “more important” activity — fucking. It also implies that ya’ll can dispense with the one in order to hurry up and get to the other. And that, my friends, is always a huge mistake.

do-not-disturb.jpgFrom now on I want us to banish “foreplay” from our vocabulary. Instead let’s start using “Beginning Sex Play”. It says it all. It says it’s at the beginning, but there’s no suggestion that anything in particular must follow.

I’m of the mind that we’d all be better served if we thought of sex play as a continuum of pleasure and pleasuring — with a beginning, middle and an end. If you ask me, our sex play ought mirror our sexual response cycles — arousal, plateau, orgasm and resolution. That way we’re less likely to overburden one particular activity at the expense of all the others. Get it? Got it? Good!

Experienced sex fans agree; the best sexual encounters include an extended period of sensual play at the beginning of most sex play. This brings increased pleasure to both partners, and will make whatever else that might follow more satisfying. Just remember, beginning sex play can be a meal in itself.

Beginning sex play brings spice to the encounter because it gets our motors started. Even all yousex_toys_rd9613.jpg major sex athletes out there who are perpetually primed for sex will benefit from some hearty beginning sex play. It will help cool your jets and make the encounter last longer than a firecracker. And I know that you know what I mean!

In our hectic rush around world, beginning sex play is particularly important. It helps us transition from the daily cares and woes to the realm of sensual pleasures. The workaholics among us need more time to become fully aroused. Their minds are still filled with the junk of the day, and not yet ready to give or receive pleasure. And pleasuring and being pleasured takes a big attitude shift from that of the rest of the day. In fact, if you’re gonna approach sex and pleasuring with the same mindset you have on the job or with the kids, give it up now and be done with it. You’ll only walk away from the encounter disappointed.

sex_toys_ki0001.jpgBeginning sex play primes us for maximum pleasure. Men will have the time we need to come to full erection and women will have the time they need to properly lubricate. By the way, this is called the arousal stage in our sexual response cycle. But you probably know that already, right?

When we stop thinking of beginning sex play as “foreplay” we realize there is no such thing as spending too much time giving and getting pleasure. If beginning sex play evolves into full-on fucking — SWELL. Both partners will be fully aroused and fucking will flow naturally and effortlessly from the pleasure enjoyed at the beginning of sex play.

Beginning sex play can include everything from chocolate and whipped cream to whips and chains. But let’s not get too far ahead of our selves. Let’s start at the beginning of beginning sex play. Most people miss out on the pleasure of undressing with and for their partners. Stripping out of, or being helped out of our daily wear and into something sexysex_toys_ks0092.jpg or nothing at all can be very arousing. It’s also a visual signal that we’re shifting out of our work-a-day world and entering the realm of sensuality. Stripping is an art form, ya know. We could all learn a lesson or two from the folks who do this for a living, but more about this in a later tutorial.

Creating the right sex environment is important too. Make sure the room is warm. Proper lighting and music will surely add to the mood. Scents are also important. More and more people are incorporating erotica into their sex play — reading a sexy story together or enjoying some hot porn will make the encounter memorable.

Most women complain that their partners don’t kiss long enough and rush the kissing to get at their pussy. Guys, what the fuck? You want pussy? Use your mouth to maximum advantage kiss and nibble all over everything. Literally devour your partner with your mouth. Believe me, if you do this right, by the time you get to her pussy she’s gonna want sex_toys_055337396x.jpgto give it up big time.

Beginning sex play is the perfect time for setting the mood for all that might follow. It’s a time for sharing fantasies, role-playing, dirty talk or some full body massage. Always have some nice lotion available then use your hands, forearms, feet and elbows to knead your partner’s muscles and naughty bits.

Certain areas on the body are more hot-wired than others. It’s your job to find each and every one your partner has. As you massage vary your strokes and touch to stimulate your partner. Roll your fingertips across his or her nipples and behind his or her ears as you kiss him and tease her with your tongue.

If you’re doin things right, your partner will be moaning with pleasure. If she or he starts getting impatient it’s time to bring out the restraints. There’s nothing like some hot erotic bondage to punctuate your beginning sex play.

While your darling is subdued and possibly blindfolded, crank things up a notch. Add differentsex_toys_ss34047.jpg
sensations and stimuli, a warm chocolate sauce followed by ice cream. A fur mitt followed by a Loofah. Introduce some sex toys — a vibrator, tit clamps, or an anal stimulator.

Don’t forget to check in with your partner from time to time. Ask for some feedback and direction. Do you like this? Or do you like this better? Never presume to know what your partner likes simply because he or she liked it before, this is a recipe for boredom and the dreaded bed death. If words fail you, SHOW your partner what you want. Then encourage your partner to do the same to you.

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Beginning sex play is not about pressing the right buttons in the right order. It is about understanding what makes your partner tick and supplying and applying those things to their greatest sensual advantage. There are many ways to give your partner extreme pleasure, and it all begins in your brain. Beginning sex play is as much of an art form as it is a necessity.

Finally, the basic premise behind all of this is that a great lover is one that gives pleasure because it is its own reward, not a means to getting something else.

Good luck ya’ll

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Merrily We Roll Along!

Hey sex fans,

I hope ya’ll survived the holidays. I did! Although I can’t tell you how glad I am that all that nonsense is over.

Before we begin, I just want to remind you that my podcasts will resume next Monday, January 07. I have a slew of interesting questions that have been piling up over the past couple of weeks. So I can guarantee you it will be a juicy podcast. Don’t miss it!

Name: Fay
Gender: Female
Age: 23
Location: LA
I met this guy on the Internet and he seemed nice and all, but I wasn’t that turned on to him. All I remember is he was pretty nerdy and had really sweaty palms. We went out a couple of time, nothing serious. He just wasn’t my type. So I stopped responding to his calls. Last week I was out at this club with some friends and I saw Mr. Nerdy with this other chic. And I was like, wait a minute, that skank’s hornin’ in on my stuff! I know I wasn’t returning his calls, but still, I saw him first. It was like totally freaky, how they were all kissy-kissy right there in everyone’s face. What should I do?

Seriously? What should you do? How about getting a life. you vacuous twit? And Iwoman_screaming.jpg mean that in the nicest sort of way.

If you could just pull your head out of your ass long enough for you to listen to yourself; your misguided notions about dating and your fundamental lack of respect for the feelings of others would surly grate on you as much as it does me. Your mindless chatter is like fingernails on a blackboard. I mean REALLY!

Think about what you are suggesting here. You’re gettin’ all territorial about some guy you could barely bring yourself to give the time of day to and then blew off like he was excess baggage. You didn’t bother to take the time to look beyond his nerdy-ness and his sweaty palms like this other woman have done. Had you done so, you might have discovered what this other “skank,” as you so lovingly refer to her, has found. But ya didn’t!

Like most nerds, this guy probably developed other means of making himself attractive and interesting to compensate for his nerdy-ness. Maybe he’s got a big ol’ dick, or he’s great in the sack. Maybe he got a big bank account or maybe he simply has a handle on the basic social graces, something that you, dear Fay, have yet to grasp.

Your jealousy is neither cute nor charming. It does, however, mark you as self-centered and childish. For the most part, jealousy is a byproduct of a person’s lack of self-confidence and self-esteem. Here’s a tip: try and develop a healthier sense of self, so that you’ll mature into someone who can interact with others in a respectful manner that is befitting another human being.

Oh, and have a nice day!

Name: Joanne
Gender: Female
Age: 25
Location: Toronto
I’m 25, 5-foot-7 and weigh 105 pounds. I take care of my body by eating right and exercising regularly. My problem is that I hate the way I look. I am actually repulsed by my body. I take very brief showers and avoid the mirror as much as possible. I’m not a prude. Others being nude is fine with me. But my body image issues are hindering my sexual encounters. I always want to wear a shirt or have the lights off.

My current boyfriend says that if I trust him enough to sleep with him I should trust him enough to let him see me naked. He also has told me that we can’t continue seeing each other if this doesn’t improve. But I let him see every part of my nude body — just not all at once. So he knows I’m not hiding some monstrous deformity or anything. I guess I thought my boyfriend would be more sensitive to my fear and let me stay covered up. Do I owe him nudity?

Hold on there, girlfriend, you think your BF is being insensitive because he wants to enjoy your body in the buff…with the lights on? You think that he’s sticking around just to needle you about your phobia? Honey, get over yourself!

Do you honestly think that your body-positive BF oughta facilitate and participatecrystal_pussy.jpg in your pathology? Yeah, like why don’t we all just sink to the lowest common denominator? And here’s a tip, doll: you do have a monstrous deformity. Perhaps it’s not a physical deformity, but it sure enough is a psychological one.

I concur with your boyfriend; your relationship is on the line here. You need to get a handle on your hang-ups, darlin’, or you can just say good-bye to whatever sex and intimacy you may currently be enjoying.

Listen, I have a thing about sex and intimacy being a gift one gives another. So I ask you, how can you give yourself as a gift to anyone if you are disgusted with the gift you’re giving? And you’ll never convince me that your body issues aren’t seeping into and sabotaging the sex you may be having with your long-suffering BF. I’ll betcha you don’t let him get too close to the body parts you begrudgingly expose to him…when the lights are out.

Joanne, like I suggest above, being repulsed by your own body is a sign of a deep psychological problem. I’d suggest you get to the bottom of this with a sex-positive therapist right away.

When I encounter this sort of thing in my practice, inevitably my client and I discover a past body related trauma to be at root of his or her current disgust. Left untreated, this aversion could easily morph into a desire to do yourself harm. It’s a common enough phenomenon; so don’t let that happen.

And to your closing question about do you “owe” him nudity; what the fuck is that? Is your sexuality and the intimacy you share with your BF something to be bid and bargained for, like beads in a bazaar? Sex and intimacy is either a gift freely given or it’s coerced.

If you’re feeling coerced about being naked with the man who loves you, you’d better set him free and get thee to a nunnery.

NEXT, ANOTHER SEXUAL ENRICHMENT TUTORIAL

Finessing That Ass Fuck — A Tutorial For a Top

Without further ado, here’s dr dick’s long awaited seminar on being a great ass fuckin’ top. This is a companion piece to an earlier tutorial for you novice bottoms out there — Liberating the BOB Within (That’s Big Old Bottom).

closeup1.jpgThis tutorial is for anyone who is considering being a top in butt fucking sex, regardless of whether the meat injection is 100% prime or a beef substitute — like a strap-on dildo, these words of wisdom are for you.

Some people are not open to experimentation when it comes to their precious asshole. They think it’s gonna be painful, or worse…the mere idea grosses them out. First off, you don’t want to try toppin’ one of these folks. A good top should know it makes no sense at all to try to force, or worse belittle an unwilling bottom to give up his or her rosebud if he/she is not inclined to do so. This is simply a waste of everyone’s time. Because if you do succeed in gettin’ the unwilling bottom to relent and the attempted fuck confirms the bottom’s earlier suspicions that this activity is indeed painful and/or gross; you will have won the skirmish, but you will have lost the war.

Second, before a top commences a fuck of any kind he or she oughta considerfemale_buttfuck.jpg whose pleasure is primary in this particular fuck-fest. There is a big difference between fucking for the top’s pleasure, for the bottom’s pleasure, or for mutual pleasure. If a top is trying to finesse a novice bottom into exploring his/her ass, that top needs to resign him or herself to concentrating on the bottom’s pleasure first and foremost.

Start by getting the bottom comfortable being touched where the sun don’t shine. Lubricate your hand and massage the outside of his or her hole. Make some lazy little circles with your fingers and drive your bottom wild with desire. When her sphincter starts to quiver, as it surely will, slowly penetrate your bottom’s butt with a lubricated finger tip. After a few minutes of just hangin’ out down there with your finger in his poop chute, you can begin to slowly slide your finger in and out. When you’re fingerin’ someone for the first time, be sure to take your time. Allow his or her muscles to adjust to being penetrated. You might want to incorporate a thin vibrating dildo and/or some expert rimming to pave the way for bigger things.

fingering.jpgWhen a top fingers a bottom like this, he or she ought consider the width of his dick or her strap-on while doing so. For example, once your bottom can take two fingers comfortably and three fingers with a minimum of discomfort he or she is ready to take a modest sized cock or dildo inside. If you’re very well endowed or you plan to strap on a dildo that resembles a floor lamp, you’d better adjust this finger formula based on the width of your fingers and your equipment.

A clean asshole is a happy and fuckable asshole. Hygiene is essential for both tops and bottoms. Bottoms need to anally douche beforehand. And tops, once your cock or your strapped on dildo has been inside your bottom’s ass, don’t go puttin’ that thang anywhere else (mouth, pussy, whatever) until you’ve washed it with soap and water. Carelessness in the hygiene department is just inviting a very serious infection.

Tops, be sure to use a good lube and make sure you have your favorite condoms near to hand. Getting your bottom into the right position, one that is comfortable for both of you is paramount. There are way too many positions for me cover here, but when choosing a position, consider —

  • your preference
  • the bottom’s preference
  • your cock and/or dildo size
  • your body type, and the bottom’s body type.

femalebutthole.jpgYou may find that a pillow or two will help support and prop up the bottom in most positions.

Painful fucking is a sign that something is being done incorrectly. It is definitely not a sign from god that ass fucking itself is wrong. In most cases pain is due to a few predictable reasons: the bottom is too tense and is tightening up. The top is being impatient and is pushing too hard. There may not be enough lubricant. Or the cock or strap-on is too big for the bottom’s experience level.

Obviously. both top and bottom should be comfortable and feel at least some pleasure in the fuck. However, it’s perfectly fine, on occasion, to concentrate on one person’s pleasure over the pleasure of the other. Just make sure you both agree on who’s pleasure is gonna be the focus of any given fuck.

Topping is a skill like any other. Practice will improve your technique. And while practicing, invite and then listen to the feedback coming from your bottom.

Ok, let’s review.

  1. Always use a lubricant…and a lot of it. Water-based lubes are latex-compatible and highly recommended.
  2. Stop immediately if your partner asks you to stop. I’m not suggesting that you stop trying altogether; just don’t push yourself onto your bottom when he or she wants you to stop. Find the source of the problem lubrication, position, whatever, resolve the problem, then resume the fuck.
  3. Take it slow. There is no need to rush, especially if you’re experimenting with anal sex for the first time.
  4. A bottom’s desire to be fucked does not insure pleasurable cornhole-ing. It’s nice that he or she might want to surrender his or her ass, but that’s not gonna make it happen on its own.
  5. Always communicate with your bottom. Keep your communication playful and smutty.
  6. Tops, be open about what you want and how it’s feeling. “Oh baby, that’s right you’ve got such a tight hole. You want my big meat in your ass? Yes you do! Open up for daddy…or momma…as the case may be.” Get the picture?

Some experienced bottoms can orgasm with ass fucking alone. Women do so through pelvic muscle contractions, men because of pressure applied to their prostate.

inthehay.jpgOh, and here’s something you need to know. We all have two sphincter muscles. If you insert a finger about one half-inch into your ass and press your fingertip against the side you’ll find them both. There is less than a quarter-inch between them.

The external sphincter is controlled by the central nervous system, which means you can tense and relax this sphincter at will. The internal sphincter is quite different. This muscle is controlled by the autonomic nervous system making it involuntary. This muscle responds to fear and anxiety. It may cause your bottom’s hole to tense up automatically even if he or she is trying to relax.

Tops, remember the rectum is not straight (no pun intended). After the short anal canal that connects the asshole to the rectum, the rectum tilts toward the front of the body, sometimes as much as 90 degrees. That’s way some people are anatomically less suited to ass fucking than others.

Finally, the best attribute a top can have is his or her sense of humor about the whole friggin deal. Fucking ain’t as easy as it looks, at least not at first. But perseverance will win the day.

Good luck ya’ll

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #34 — 10/08/07

Hey sex fans,

I have a really swell show for you today. We have a load of very interesting questions from all over the globe. And I respond with an equal number of lively, affable and oh so informative responses! Hey, it’s what I do.

  • Bob stops by for a spot of heavy breathing.
  • Maya’s brother is queer and he’s all messed up about it.
  • Ben’s cock curves, so turns down a blowjob.
  • E is having trouble with his hole.
  • Dave has a knotty prick!
  • Sebastian’s lace curtains are too tight.
  • Johnny has a red sack!

And finally, another installment of our feature, Sex In The News! — This week it’s Senior Sex.

BE THERE, OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s dr dick’s toll free podcast voicemail. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question? No time to write? Give dr dick a call at (866) 422-5680. Again, the TOLL FREE voicemail number is (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY !

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the health section under the subheading — Sexuality. Or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice With An Edge. And don’t forget to subscribe. I don’t want you to miss even one episode.

Say, would you like to become a sponsor for one or more of my weekly sex advice podcasts? As you know, I plug a product or service at the beginning and end of each show. Each podcast has its own posting on my site along with the name of the podcast sponsor and a banner for the product or service.

The beauty part about this unique opportunity is that once a sponsor’s ad is included in a particular podcast that sponsor is embedded there forever.

Your sponsorship also underscores your social conscience. Your marketing dollars will not only got to promote your product, but you will be doing so while helping to disseminate badly needed sex education and sexual enrichment messages. Simply put, ya just can’t get a better bang for your advertising buck!

For further information, contact me at: dr_dick@drdicksexadvice.com

Today’s podcast is once again bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

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Blue Plate Special

Name: ali
Gender:
Age: 25
Location: canada
my girlfriend dont waana get maried to me beacuse she is afraid of sex , she hates sex because she think its a disguesting thing like sucking fingering n etc what am i suppose to do i love her how i satisfy her dat we have to marry???

Why would you want to marry a chick that doesn’t like sex? That just seems crazy. If you think you’re gonna win her over or change her mind about sex just by marrying her; that’s even crazier. Loving someone is not enough to overcome this kind of resistance. If she’s unwilling to see a therapist to help her through her revulsion of things sexual, then I’d say it was time for you to find another potential bride.

Name: Randy
Gender:
Age: 24
Location: Florida
Is it possible that anal sex can result in increased flatulence?

xx19.jpgAaaa yeah!

Think of your ass as a cylinder and your partner’s cock as a piston. All the slamming in and out forces air up your bum. And what happens to that trapped air after (and sometimes even during) a fuck fest? You got it…farts for days. It’s no big thing, all bottoms get fuck-farts. The same is true for women — her pussy is the cylinder and her partner’s cock is the piston. All the slamming in and out forces air into her cooch, producing the very familiar pussy-fart.

Name: Jonathan
Gender: Male
Age:
Location: UK
Hello, please could you tell me if there is a way to increase the size of my testicles permanently, I do shoot a good amount of cum but they are small in the hand and look small in underwear and swim trunks, have you any advice on what I could try,

Hold on there, big fella. What are you askin’ me? Do you want to increase the size of your balls (testicles), or the size of your sack (scrotum)? You can do the later, but not the former. If you are past puberty, your balls are the size they are gonna be; there’s no increasing them. Your sack, on the other hand can be stretched to increase its size. Will that satisfy you? If so, read this: …don’t let me get too deep. If not, you’re out of luck, darlin’!

Name: Mario
Gender: Male
Age: 17
Location: CA
I watch porn once in a while and have noticed that when I have an erection I get the “precum” after a while of having the erection. The problem is that lots of precum leaks out and its embarrassing for me when I’m with a girl. They usually get grossed out and stop oral sex. Will the precum go away with time or will this happen to me forever?

Ahhh, the heartbreak of pesky precum drip! I used to know this guy that dripped like a broken faucet and all he had to do was think about a woman’s tits. It was absolutely amazing. When I knew him he was at his first job as a teller in a bank in downtown San Francisco. If there was so much as a woman in line with a low cut blouse and a bit of cleavage showing, he was done for. m.jpgHe could feel his juice drip down his leg. He tried many things to keep his heartbreak from being so obvious — he would wear baggy pants, double up on underwear, he’d stuff his junk in a sock and wear a jock over the sock under his underwear. That worked, but it was uncomfortable. Finally he discovered his own personal solution — he pulled his foreskin over the head of his dick and put a little rubber band over the end. This way his juice would build up inside his hood until he released the rubber band. Now that was creative thinking. I’ll admit this guy was unusual with his prodigious cock dribble, but he was young, only in his late teens. His “problem” did subside with time.

This whole phenomenon is not unlike a person with a heavy perspiration problem. You know the guys, the ones who run with sweat form every pour at slightest amount of stress. For most, this happens during puberty and early adulthood, but it doesn’t last.

Listen, pup, I know your drip may be a bit embarrassing, but it’s really very natural. I encourage you to just go with the flow…no pun intended. The more you worry about it the more it will plague you and in time you will become so self-conscious about it, it will cause performance anxiety. Why not consider yourself lucky, all that precum is a swell natural lubricant. Ya know some women have a similar concern with an abundance of vaginal liberation produced during arousal. But believe me, it always way better to have too much than not enough.

To your concern that some girls get grossed out by your leaky dick, well all I can say is they’re no connoisseur of cocksucking. Because those in the know consider precum the Nectar of the Gods!

Name: Isabell
Gender: Female
Age: 24
Location: Olympia Wa
HI, my guy and i have been together for five years now and he is 29 now. Of course in the beginning we were all over each other, but now (five years later) he can go months with out even thinking about sex. And of course I am going crazy for it. He says me pining for sex is a turn off but i cant help it. He thinks its normal, but i know its not. I dont know how to get him in the mood. I’ve tried going down on him at night, romantic dinners, porn, and sucking up to his ego. But still to no avail. I know he’s straight. I am sure there are some things that contribute to his lack of interest. Like he was raised mormon, and in some regards holds women on a pedestal. So what would you advise me to do. What can i do to help him get hornier?

You’re right, darlin’, it ain’t normal! A guy in his 20’s, albeit his late, late 20’s, who has no libido…that’s just downright odd.

So let’s say for the sake of argument that you’re right, he is straight as can be (no secret cock on the side). And he can go months without showing any interest in sex? Come on! If he had been like this from the get go, we could make the case that he just doesn’t have an interest in sex. That’s not particularly uncommon. But to go from a vigorous sex live to virtually none in a few years, that’s fishy. Are you confident that he is still attracted to you? Sometimes a guy would rather live a life of quiet desperation than tell his GF that he’s no longer into her in a sexual sort of way.

17647853_p.jpgIs he experiencing any health problems? Is he overweight, diabetic? Is he depressed? Is he on any prescribed meds? Is he smoking too much pot, consuming too much booze? Is he overworked on the job? Is he sleep deprived? All these things can impact on a dude’s sex drive. I’d recommend he see his physician for some blood work to check his testosterone levels. Sometime a guy’s hormone levels can take a nosedive without him knowing it.

Finally, to your question…what can you do to help him get hornier? Probably nothing beyond what you’ve already tried. If a surprise blowjob, a romantic dinner, porn and even an ego boost don’t do the trick, I’d say he’s a lost cause. Time to take your needs to someone with a little more lead in his pencil, if ya know what I mean. None of us should have to beg for our bone.

Name: amber
Gender: Female
Age: 20
Location: fort worth
When me and my husband have sex he just seems to want to get it over with. I dont ask him for it because everytime i do ask him hes not in the mood. He wont even try to help me warm up i have to do it all myself. I even do everything to him that he asks me. He also seems like he doesnt want to please me because ill tell him ways to make it easier and positions i like and he just ignores me and goes on the way he wants it. When we first met sex was amazing and now sex is literally a 2-minute session just for him. What do i do to get him to help me out too?

See my response to Isabell, right above you.

And to that I would add that if your man is not being mutual in your sex play he’s not playing fair. And let’s not mince words, your husband sounds downright abusive. Marriage does not give one the license to ignore, reject or abuse. I’m not one for ultimatums, but the longer you tolerate his behavior, the more retractable he will become. Give the bum a choice to either work with you to find a happy solution to this mess, or you are gone.

Good luck, ya’ll

dopbanner.jpg

Riddle Me This…

Name: Daniel
Gender: Male
Age: 22
Location: Portland
My question is do all women essentially have the same size and shape vagina? Because I have an abnormally large penis and some women are fine with it but some women complain way too much because of the pain.

I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess that you don’t really know how to swing that big pipe of yours. But before we get to that, I thought we’d do a little remedial anatomy lesson. Did you know a vagina is made up of the same tissue as your penis and scrotum? In other words your cock and balls are simply a pussy on a stick. So if you follow the logic you’ll find the answer to your question. Pussies come in a variety of sizes shapes, just like cocks & balls.

Ok, so we’re clear on that point, right? Excellent. Now the variation in size andbig.jpg shape of the external components of female genitalia, the vulva, vaginal lips, etc, are only a preview of the amazing capacities of the internal components, the vagina itself. This is best understood as a potential space. A vagina is very expandable. It has to be, since whole babies come pushin’ through that space. Tell me you’re clear on that concept…please!

Again if you follow the logic you’ll realize that, unless you’re hung in a freakish sort of way (and if you are I want photographic evidence sent to me immediately) just about any adult female vagina is able to accommodate even the really big boys. However, being able to and wanting to be impaled by a giant johnson…well, that’s just a whole other issue.

Second, and this is the most important point, I wholeheartedly recommend that one day real soon you have a nice long conversation with someone who actually owns a vagina. While dr dick is a very clever lad, who knows lots of things about lots of things, sadly he don’t have no vagina himself. So why not go directly to the source, Daniel? Before you start pokin’ away at this mysterious entity that you clearly don’t understand, ask your partner for a little tour. Have her show you around. Have her point out all the really exciting points of interest…and there are plenty of ‘em, don’t cha know. You’ll be sorely amazed. You think your dick is talented? Let me tell ya pal, it pales in comparison to a pussy.

Besides, this little exercise will give you a load of brownie points with the woman in question. You’ll also be a vastly more informed about pussies in general, which hopefully make you a much better lover whatever comes your way in the future.

Finally, if your women partners are complaining about your size it probably has more to do with your ability as a cocksmith than the capacity of their vagina. Most women who complain about painful intercourse, regardless of the size of the hose, report that their offish male partners don’t get them warmed up enough before commencing the fuck. No arousal means there’s lubrication no. No lubrication means there’s sure to be painful fucking ahead. Get it?

A word to the wise, Daniel, if your dick is hard it’s evidence that you’re properly aroused. If your partner isn’t lubricating big-time then she not properly aroused. Which tells me that you didn’t take care of business like you should have before you start to poke and poke with your one-eyed monster. You want in? Better pave the way pup!

Name: sammy
Gender: male
Age: 19
Location: UK
is rimming dangerous you know like not good for you and you know stuff like that

You wanna know if rimming (or ass to mouth contact, for those less familiar with the term “rimming”) is dangerous with respect to “you know…well you know”. That sure was articulate.

I guess you want dr dick to fill in the blanks, huh? Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think you want to know about the health risks involved in rimming, right? Why not just come right out and say, “Hey dr dick, is eatin’ ass gonna make me sick?”

Let me preface my remarks with this universal statement. There is some riskdirtyjobs17.jpg involved with everything we do. Are you breathing this air? Are you drinking this water? Are you eating this food? Are you driving a car? Yikes, especially here in Seattle? Then you are at risk of serious bodily injury.

Have you noticed the alarming increase in health advisories issued for air quality? The ever-increasing frequency of food contamination scares — both for humans and our pets? And I’m sure I don’t have to call your attention to worsening traffic and the endless parade of really bad drivers out there. And yet, we continue to breathe, eat and move about in traffic as if there were no risks to us at all. We do so because it’s hard to live a normal life without. Rather than wall ourselves up somewhere to avoid all the inherent dangers of life in the modern world, we do our best to minimize risk by keeping ourselves informed and staying alert to signs of danger.

The same is true for any and all risks associated with sex. Trust me, I’m not here to diminish any perceived health risk involved when folks bump parts with one another. But I do want to put them in perspective. You can minimize health risks associated with sexual contact with others by being alert and informed about sexual issues in general and the health of your partner(s) in particular. Also stay vigilant to signs of danger — lesions, inflammations, abnormal odors, pain — are all warning signs that things are not as they should be. And nothing, absolutely nothing is more important than hygiene…especially were butt munching is concerned.

Here’s a little code I’ve prepared for this purpose. You know, like the fun rainbow colored homeland security code we’ve all come to know love. However, unlike the Department of Homeland Security here in the US (and whatever the call it there in the UK), dr dick promises he’ll never use his advisory code as a political tool. The dr dick Health/Sex Risk Code is simple. 1) Advised — 2) Advised with Minimal Risk — 3) Advised with Caution and 4) Not Advisable.

Now back to you, Sammy. dr dick is gonna label rimming — 3) Advised with Caution. There’s a minimal risk for HIV transmission. However the presence of anal bleeding or bloody gums makes rimming 4) Not Advisable.

Rimming does carry the risk of parasite and bacterial infections. Hepatitis is also a risk. But there are hepatitis vaccines out there. And anyone engaged in sex with another human being, eating ass or no, who isn’t immunized against hep is just a damn fool.

Name: Frank
Gender: Male
Age: 28
Location: LA
The problem I’m having is that my current girlfriend has really small breasts, probably a size A or something like that. My last girlfriend had these beautiful big breasts. Being in LA of course they were fake, but I loved them. My new girlfriend is good in bed but the boob issue is driving me crazy. Her breasts are so small there’s nothing to do with them. The rest of her body is fine and her face is great. I’m looking for your advice. I want to ask her to get a boob job, but I don’t know how to approach the issue. Just looking for your advice.

So let me get this straight, Frank. You’re like this big tit fanatic and you don’t much care if the hooters are god-made or plastic. You live in LA, the very center of the silicone universe. And you find yourself in a relationship with a great gal with natural breasts, but virtually no bust line. Holy cow, how did that happen? Is this some kind of twisted karmic fate thing playing itself out? Do you suppose the cosmos is trying to tell you something?

Ok, you want my advice, here it is. I totally think you ought march right up to thisbt.jpg pretty sweet girlfriend of yours and tell her that despite her many charms and how much fun she is in the sack, you’re simply need much bigger tits on her real soon.

That’s right you heard me correctly. You just stride on up to her and tell her what’s on your mind. Don’t hold anything back. Don’t try to be diplomatic. And you don’t even have to give her feelings a second thought!

Of course, Frank, you’re gonna wanna preface this little declaration of yours by telling the lovely lass that you will submit your dick for augmentation if she agrees to submits her breasts.

I mean, fair is fair, right Frank? To do anything less, would mark you as incredibly shallow and selfish. It would also smack of a very unpleasant double standard. And dr dick wants desperately to believe that you’re not that big of an asshole. You aren’t, are you Frank?

If by chance you’re not quite ready to surrender you’re dick to a surgeon’s scalpel, with all the inherent dangers major surgery like this entails, then you’re in no position to ask your darling girlfriend with the tiny titties to do it either.

Here’s a tip; either enjoy what’s near to hand or find some chick that’s already sporting a big rack. I encourage you not to suggest to any woman that she’d be a better person, or more desirable to you (or anyone jackass of your gender) if she were just more stacked. This will simply backfire. You’ll not only find yourself without the desired tits, you’ll be without pussy too.

Good luck ya’ll!

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