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Name:  ??
Gender: Male
Age: 33
Location: Miami
I have two unrelated questions: 1. I love anal sex but am concerned that as I age I run the risk of eventually becoming incontinent due to the sexual activity down there. Is white_sneakersthis a valid concern or will my sphincter remain tight enough to hold everything in? I’ve read conflicting opinions. 2. My boyfriend likes the twinks. We’ve been together for about four years and even though I’m only a year younger (he‚s 35), part of the reason he’s attracted to me is my youthful appearance. We have a wonderful relationship — supportive and loving and the sex is great! We even have a semi-open relationship, which is working fine for us so far. However, I’m concerned that at some point he may try something with someone under 18. He enjoys visiting those Barely Legal type porn sites (which hold no interest for me and look illegal). I’ve discussed my concerns with him, and he says I have nothing to worry about because he’d never do anything. But on the other hand, he’s not the most disciplined person in the world. I’m worried that if the opportunity presented itself he wouldn’t be able to resist. If that happened, it would then present emotional and moral problems not to mention legal issues not just for him but (I’m assuming) for me as well. I guess
I’m not sure what my question is. I know the gay community (and really the world) is obsessed with youth, but does this sound like more than that?  Do I have a legitimate concern, or am I being a prude? Obviously you don’t know my boyfriend, but I can’t discern if he just enjoys the fantasy of a younger man/boy or if this could become a problem. If it’s just a fantasy then I have no problem letting him have his fun. Heck, he can fuck all the 20 year olds he wants as far as I’m concerned. (Maybe this stems from my insecurity of growing older even though he insists he will love me even when I’m old and grey). But, if this is more than a fantasy then what do I do?
Thanks, Dr. Dick! Your faithful reader

Let’s address your two concerns in turn.  First, regarding your ass sex question.  Your typical butt-pirate has nothing to worry about in terms of becoming incontinent.  However, you oughta do what every power bottom does to stay in tip-top shape down there — Kegel exercises.

Don’t know kegel exercises from a hole in your head?  Not to worry.  I’ve written and spoken so much about this timely topic, whicht applies to both men and women, I barely have the energy to repeat myself.  So I won’t!

All ya gotta do is use the SEARCH function in the sidebar to your right.  Simply type in the keyword “kegels” and PRESTO!  Just like magic, all my posting and podcasts that include that topic are displayed.  You can read and listen till your heart’s content.

To your other concern, the one about your BF’s interest in the barely-legal crowd; there’s not much you can do about this one way or another.  Most of the adult people I know who have a thing for the young ones keep it on a purely fantasy level.  Those who stray off the daydream path and onto a course of actual pursuit find themselves in all kinds of jeopardy.  Not lest of which is the ridiculous nature of the quest.  Sounds to me like your BF already knows all of this.  But if he doesn’t, it’ll be he who pays, not you.

My advice to you is; take him at his word and worry not.

Name: james
Gender: Male
Age: 48
Location: sutton in ashfield
I have large veins that stick out on my testicles are these anything to worry about

Some guys have smooth balls; some guys have hairy balls; some guys have veiny balls and some guy’s balls are all shriveled up. That’s all balls_uncutthere is to it.

As we age some of us develop varicose veins in our lower extremities.  It’s the force of gravity, don’t cha know.  Varicose veins can occur in our nut sack too.  Sometimes this is associated with wearing a too tight cockring for too long a time.  But it is just as likely to be an issue of genetics.  Not much you can do about it and there is no real danger.

If you aren’t experiencing any discomfort in your family jewels, things are probably ok and I wouldn’t worry.  However, if you are anxious about this, or there is soreness or tenderness or you have other concerns; take your huevos to an MD and have ‘em checked out.  Simple as all that!

Name: Marcus
Gender: Male
Age: 47
Location: Southeast US
I am intrigued by nipple suction pumps, but cannot find much information about their effectiveness on guys. How long do your nipples stay enlarged? Is there any risk or danger in using one of these contraptions? Thanks for any help/direction you can give!

Nipple play is fun for both women and men.  There are several ways of enlarging one’s nipples.  There are low-tech suction devices, metal stretchers and the more high-tech vacuum devices.  All of these systems are very popular.  Have a look in My Stockroom for some examples.  Just search the site using the key word “nipple”.

1 2 5 8 7 6

Wireless Vibrating Nipple Clamps (D120) $32.00
Tit Tuggers (C656) $125.00
The Titilizer (A237) $16.50
10-Piece Cupping Set (B264) $57.00
Snake Bite Kit (A300) $8.00
Nipple Suction Device (B092) $18.00

If you are a casual tit-torturer your nipples will stay enlarged for a few hours.  If you are a hardcore tit-torturer you can completely and permanently alter the look of your nipples.  Is there a risk or is there danger?  Not unless you overdo it.

Name: Tara
Gender: Female
Age: 25
Location: Hoboken, NJ
I got this cute guy friend who’s asked if he can come on my vacation to Bangor, Maine (Stephen King’s home!). So I asked this guy, who’s single, if he wants one bed or two. He said it didn’t matter, so I booked one bed at the hotel. Does this mean he wants to have sex with me? I’m dumping down a ton of money, so I hope so!

How the hell should I know?  He could be hot to get in your pants, or he might simply need an all expense paid holiday.

Why not just ask him.  What’s with the coy routine?  Of course, you could do like the hippies used to do and tell your cute guy friend — “Ass, gas or grass!  No one rides for free.”

gasgrassass

Hi, I have a question that I can not ask anyone else so I found your web site and would really appreciate your advice. Ok, so when I have sex sometimes instead of cuming when I have an orgasm, I pee. Sometimes I do cum though. But when it feels really good and I release, I release pee instead of cum. I just want to know if this happens to other people, and why this happens. And can I fix this. What can I do to make this not happen? I don’t like it happening. I feel bad for my boyfriend who has to have pee on his penis. Please, please, please take the time to reply to me. Thank you for your time. Have a great day.
—   Anonymous.

Are you sure that what you are experiencing is pee?  Could it possibly be that you are ejaculating?  For a good deal of information on this, check out the site called The Clitoris.

Of course, lots of women feel like they have to pee when they cum.  In fact, lots of women actually do pee as they cum.

If indeed you are peeing when you cum, I’d say you are experiencing what we in the business call — stress incontinence.

Stress incontinence can happen just about any time.  Anxiety, stress, working out, jogging, fucking crreampie1can all trigger this type of incontinence.

Curiously enough, research shows that younger women actually have more stress incontinence during sex than do older women.  While only 3% of women over age 65 reported incontinence during sexual activity, 29% of women under age 60 did.

Regardless of the cause of the stress incontinence — nervousness, exercise or sex there is one common denominator.  It’s always related to the strength of a woman’s pelvic floor muscles. The weaker those muscles are, the more likely a woman will leak pee during physical exercise, fucking, sneezing or even laughing.

While many women experience stress incontinence from time to time, there’s a relatively simple solution to the problem. Your pelvic muscles and the tissues surrounding them get stretched out and damaged with time.  Pregnancies will also do a number on these muscles.  They also weaken with age.  And if you are overweight, well that will weaken pelvic floor muscles too as well as add to the likelihood of stress incontinence.

So you might be asking right about now, what IS this simple solution?  Why, it’s Kegel exercises, of course.  (See my response to the first correspondent above.)

Good luck ya’ll

Never a dull moment

Name: David
Gender: male
Age: 36
Location:  Iowa
Dear Dr. Dick I am a 36yr old male, I have come clean with myself and my family about my sexuality about 2 years ago. But before then, I was very much in the closet about my sexuality not only to friends and family but also to myself.To see me or to talk to me you would never know I’m gay, although I believe that this is just a label. I don’t believe I ever want to come out completely. Whenever a conversation comes up at work or I attend a briefing on sexual harassment, there is always a comment about homosexuality, I blush every time this comes up.When I was younger I hid my sexuality and tried to fool myself into thinking I wasn’t. But of course you know that will eat a person alive. I know it did me.  So I sought counseling and paved the way for me coming out to a few close people.Anyway, I still struggle with the issue.  On the outside I’m as straight as ever, but on the inside I’m gay. Do you have any suggestions to help me over this acceptance of myself?coming-out.jpg

Honey, as far as Dr. Dick is concerned you haven’t even begun to come out.  Sorry to be so blunt, but just identifying your sexual preference to a few individuals “coming clean” as you suggest (hey, we’re talkin about being gay here, not confessing to being an ax murderer) is not the moral equivalent of coming out.  If you can’t celebrate your sexuality and, I might add, integrate it into you whole personhood, then you’re not OUT.  PERIOD.

It is true what you say about being in the closet and getting eaten alive in there.  But if you’re queer on the inside (whatever that means) and straight on the outside (God forbid) then you’re still a danger to yourself.  This, is after all, the very definition of schizophrenia, darlin’.

I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess that you still have loads of shame about who you are.  I encourage you to get back into counseling ASAP until you resolve that.  The world does not need any more fence sitters.  gay-pride.jpgYou’re either gay or you’re not.  You either celebrate that (and I don’t mean waving a flag or parading around like a lunatic) or ya don’t.

I don’t suppose any of us is ever really free of all our own internalized homophobia any more than other oppressed and marginalized minorities can rid themselves of their internalized self-doubt.  No one can completely escape the prejudices and biases that surround them.  But most of us make our way regardless.  That’s why coming out is so important.  It empowers us.  It increases our self-esteem.  Honesty about our life increases our personal integrity.  When we stop hiding or denying this important part of our life we have greater freedom of self-expression.  And we become more available for happy, healthy and honest relationships.  So you see, you have a ways to go.

Name: Liz
Gender: Female
Age: 31
Location: GA
My hubby wants me to have a 3 way with him and another women and I don’t know and I am a little scared I might like it and he wants to have the other women lick me while he plugs her from behind and I am afraid to. We have done a 3 way with him and another guy pound me but they didn’t touch each other so what should I do he has 2 female friends that are willing to try it and I don’t want to lose my hubby so what should I do? — mom in need of help

Very interesting, Liz!  And ahhh, what would be so wrong with you enjoying some hot girl girlongirl.jpgon girl action?  Isn’t that the purpose?  This is where so many men and a whole lot of women are so very different.  Men have more permission to be sexually assertive.  But if you plan on being an equal partner in these sexual adventures, you’d better buck up, darlin’!  To paraphrase the immortal Fats Waller; Find out what you like and how you like it; then make it happen just that way.

Let’s take a closer look at what you tell me about you and your randy husband.  Apparently he has no reservations about asking you to have a 3-way with another chick. He thinks it’ll be hot and he wants to go for it.  He also has no reservations about a 3-way with another guy, just as long as he doesn’t have to interact with the other dude.  You see, he’s pretty clear about what is a turn on for him and he doesn’t hesitate to draw you into his little adventures, does he? Do you just go along with what he dreams up so you don’t lose the big lug?  Or is there something enjoyable in it for you?  I sure hope it’s the later, darling, because we shouldn’t be doing things, particularly sexual things, under duress — either physical or emotional.  If it’s merely a question of perhaps enjoying the attentions of other woman a little too much, I think you’re entitled to that.  You could even keep this your little secret, if you wanted to.

toes-curled.jpgTrying new things can be really fun especially when your playing with people you like and are turned on to.  If you decide to go for it, I suggest the three of you start your encounter by getting a bite to eat together.  A little food and a few cocktails can be a great start to the adventure.  You’ll notice almost immediately that a 2-girl and a guy 3-way is a whole lot different than a 2-guy and a girl 3-way.  No doubt all three of you will be a little nervous, so make this part of the outing sexy fun and flirtatious.  Practice your seduction skills on the other woman.  You will soon discover the sexual hierarchy…and there always is one in these kinds of encounters.  Make sure you are comfortable with all arrangements made and make sure that they are all mutually agreed upon. If there are any ground rules, this is the time to mention them.  The more you discover about your new partner in this non-sexual environment the more prepared you will be for the rest of the evening.  If it were me; I’d want to get a sense of how experienced this other chick is at having a 3-way.  Women tend to be more accommodating in terms of bisexual behaviors than are men folk.  Maybe you could ask her about her sexual fantasies and share some of your own with her.  Just remember, you are an equal partner in this ménage.  I’d certainly make sure that the she knew what turned you on just so everyone is satisfied in the end.

I hope you write back and let me know how the encounter goes.  My interest, of course, is purely scientific, don’t ‘cha know.  But I will want all the gory details.  And a detailed photo essay would also be appreciated.  😉

Name: Brian
Gender:
Age: 40
Location: Canada
After a guy ejaculates can he have another ejaculation? Like after I cum if I put on a cock ring will it stay hard enough to continue with intercourse and achieve another orgasm? I basically want to cum twice in a row.

Yep, that’s doable.  All depends on your particular refractory period and how turned on you are.  Let’s take a quick look at the male sexual response cycle again, just so we understand what we’re talkin’ about.  Ok?

The sexual response cycle refers to the sequence of physiological changes that occur as wemale_sexual_response.jpg become sexually aroused and move through to afterglow. The sexual response cycle has four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. Both women and men experience these phases of course, although the timing usually is very different for each gender.  In addition, the intensity of the response and the time spent in each phase will vary from person to person and from situation to situation. That’s why I say cuming twice in a row is doable.  But is it gonna happen for you?  I guess we’ll just have to wait and see, huh?

Ok, here goes…

Phase 1: Excitement (or the boner stage)

  • Muscle tension increases.
  • Heart rate quickens and breathing accelerates.
  • Our skin may become flushed particularly on our chest and back).
  • Our nipples may become erect.
  • Blood flow to the genitals increases, thus the boner.
  • Our balls swell, our sack tightens, and we may drip precum.  Mmmm, precum!

Phase 2: Plateau (or the strokin’ or pumpin’ stage)

  • Everything in phase 1 intensifies.
  • Our balls may pull up into body cavity.
  • Our breathing, heart rate and blood pressure increase.
  • Our toes curl, face contorts and hands clench.

Phase 3: Orgasm (or the “yabba dabba doo” stage)

  • Involuntary muscle contractions begin.
  • Blood pressure, heart rate and breathing excelerate.
  • There’s a rapid intake of oxygen.
  • Muscles in the feet spasm.
  • There is a sudden, forceful release of sexual tension.
  • Rhythmic contractions of the muscles at the base of our cock result in the ejaculation of spunk.
  • A “sex flush” may appear all over our body.

Phase 4: Resolution (or the “I need a nappy” stage)

  • During this phase, the body slowly returns to its normal level of functioning, and the parts of your body that swelled and engorged return to their previous size and color.
  • This phase is marked by a general sense of well-being, enhanced intimacy and, often, fatigue.
  • Most women are capable of a rapid return to the orgasm phase with further sexual stimulation and may experience multiple orgasms.

Men, on the other hand need a recovery time after orgasm, this period is called the refractory period.  This doesn’t have to be the end of sex.  Like you suggest, a cockring may prohibit your dick from going soft.  But don’t count on an immediate second orgasm, even if your dick stays hard. Don’t forget, the duration of the refractory period varies and is situational.  It will also increase as we age.

Good luck ya’ll

Running on Empty

I know things are a bit mixed up this week.  Frequent visitors to Dr Dick’s Sex Advice will know that Wednesdays are traditionally Video Days on the site. But I have to veer off course this week.  I have some questions to respond to and I can’t do my Q&A on Friday this week, as I usually do, because I have a swell Product Review scheduled for Friday.

Do you see how nutty things can get when you have more things to do than days to do them on?  Anyhow, breaking with tradition every now and again is a good thing.

Name: lost angel
Gender: Male
Age: 21
Location: cali
Is the base of the penis behind the balls??? When I get hard my cock points kinda upward is this ok????

The base of your cock is not behind your balls.  That’s what’s called your dick root.  The base of your cock is where your cock meets your pubic bone on the dorsal (top) side of your johnson.

Having your boner point upward is as good as a place for it to point as any; and maybe better than some.

Name: Stephen
Gender: Male
Age: 41
Location: Va
As I have gotten older my sex drive has decreased tremendously. What can I do to turn it around?

Everyone’s libido decreases as he/she ages.  There’s no gettin around that.  However, a healthy lifestyle — good nutrition, maintaining your proper weight, getting an adequate amount of sleep, eliminating stress, modest alcohol and caffeine consumption and regular exercise will keep your sexual response cycle at its peek throughout your life.  Simply put, the healthier you are; the more libido you will enjoy.

That being said, I am increasingly more optimistic about the use of herbal supplements to help us gh.jpgropex.jpgolder folk stay in tip-top sexual condition.  To that end, I’d like to turn you on to three products I am currently testing on myself — Ropex, GH and Onkor Energy.   A full product review of Ropex and GH will appear on this site in time.  But the Onkor Energy review is already available on the Product Reviews page. Look for REVIEW #14.

What I’ve discovered through my product testing and review is that not all herbal supplements are created equal.  But you’ve probably figured this out on your own, huh?  I’ve tried several similar products that were completely ineffectual.  Others had unpleasant side effects.onkormen.jpg

Here’s something everyone should know.  A lot of these “Male Enhancement” and herbal products are produced in China under dubious conditions.  And everyone in the supplement industry will tell you, confidentially of course, that most of these products are adulterated with knock-off pharmaceuticals.  And that’s down right dangerous for us all.

I confidently offer these three products to you, because they work for me.  Just be assured that neither one of these products will not override a pathologically unhealthy lifestyle.  Look to your personal health and wellbeing first.  Supplement that if you must.

Hej from Sweden,
I am Mark and wanting advice regarding douching correctly.  I am 100% bottom but for personal reasons I decided to give up sex for at least 1 year.  NOW I have the horn again and I’m definitely in the mood!  I am wanting to be sure that all is ‘clean’ down there before having my ass played with  …..any advice on proper cleaning.
Great website BTW!
Hugs and blowjobs….
Mark x

Warm water is all you need.  Never use soap.b712.jpg

Some men add lemon juice or vinegar (1-2 Tbs. per quart) of the warm water.  Others dissolve (2 Tbs.) of baking soda in a quart of warm water.

Stay away from commercially produced douches; most contain harmful and irritating chemicals.  And trust me, you don’t want that.  Besides, all those over the counter douches are expensive.  And all that packaging is definitely not eco-friendly.  And we all want to be green perverts, don’t we?

Finally there is always the ever-versatile shower or bath bidet option. You can find one model, the Travel Shur Shot, in My Stockroom.

There are also stainless steel options that hook up to your shower head.

Name: Tommy
Gender: Male
Age: 36
Location: Ontario,CA
HI Dick : I had a problem keeping an erection when under the influence of crystal meth. It’s not that i wasn’t aroused. Is this common when taking speed?

Ahhh HELLO!  Are you so new to the Tina scene that you’ve never heard the term — “Crystal Dick”?   Holy cow!  Time to wake up and smell the coffee, honey.

 

meth_kills9.jpg

All tweakers will inevitably experience erection problems; some will be so serious that the guy will never recover.  Tweakers will often try to compensate for this lack of wood by taking Viagra, or another erection enhancing drug.  This is extremely dangerous because this combination will raise one’s blood pressure to dangerously high levels.  Or one could experience a really long lasting hardon, that could actually permanently damage your rod.

You’ve probably heard the old adage:  Meth Kills, right?  Well, it true.  While it may not be the death of you, per se.  You can be assured that it will kill your sexual response cycle.

Name: jack
Gender: Male
Age: 26
Location: denmark
hey I’m a 26 year old male who has struggled with alcohol abuse for many years as a result my balls have shrunk I don’t know what to do but I’m nervous about having sex and have even thought of taking my life.  I feel humiliated.  Is there something I can do or can I learn to live with this?  Will guys mind?

First off, congratulations on kickin’ the booze habit.  My hat is off to you!  If you can conquer balls6.jpgalcoholism, you’re pretty much set up to handle anything life sends your way; including a case of shrunken nuts.

Don’t despair, my friend, no one’s gonna kick you out of the sack for havin’ marbles in the sack instead of eggs.  Lots of men have smaller than usual testicles and it has nothing to do with alcohol consumption.  It’s just a natural variation on size and shape.

No need to be self-conscious about something as trivial as ball size and lose sight of the fact that you’ve overcome one of the worst scourges known to human kind.  You are a hero!  Never forget that.  And if the only scars you have to show for your valiant battle against demon alcohol is smaller cajones, then you’re luckier than most.

Get out there and learn to enjoy yourself again.  You will soon find that most men will be attracted to you for your personal courage and tenacity.  They won’t give a damn about the size of your balls.

Name: sami
Gender: Male
Age: 25
Location: Pakistan
I have visit many website and read about the erectile dysfunction problems but I want to know some thing about my problem which I have with my penis and I have used too much medicine for this and this problem is with me more than 6 years. I m from Pakistan and here doctors not treat me well or they are not expert in erectile dysfunction.
I’m 25 year old now and single.  The problem is that when ever I think about the sex or see any porn movie or chat with girl on sex topic then the drops like water come outside but its not like water its some juicy type and after this no erection come in my penis. And it cum soon without erection. I have used many medicines but to no avail.  Please tell me about my disease what is this?
And when ever I try to do sex with girl then again this drops come very fast in early and after that no erection and I can cum after one minute using my hands. I have also problem of early ejaculation too. While when i sleep and get up in morning some time my penis is in full erection and full motion but whenever I think about sex these drops come and the erection finish of my penis. So please tell me in details about this disease. Diagnose it and tell me the medicine for this because I want treatment from online doctor not from the Pakistani doctors and also want to take medicine online imported one because in Pakistan also not available good quality and variety medicine. Thanks

Things sound like they are in a pretty sorry state there in Pakistan.  That’s regrettable.

First up, if I understand you correctly, and that is a big “IF”; I’m gonna guess that you don’t need a doctor or medication.  It appears to me that you are dealing with two distinct issues:  1) excessive precum and 2) premature ejaculation.  Ok, let’s handle each one of these in turn.

You’ll find all the postings and podcasts I’ve done on the topic of pre-ejaculate by going to the precum03.jpegCATEGORIES section in the sidebar and searching for the word “precum”. Basically, excessive precum is nothing more than a bothersome issue for most men who experience it.  But it’s not a medical condition.  And there aren’t any medications you can take to relieve the problem.  Think of it as the equivalent of excessive sweating. There’s not a whole lot you can do about that either.  Issues like these tend to clear up on their own as we age.

You’ll find all the postings and podcasts I’ve done on the topic of premature ejaculation by going to the CATEGORIES section in the sidebar and searching for the words “lasting longer”.  Basically, a guy can easily learn to control his ejaculation response with a little effort on his part.  These postings and podcasts contain detailed “how to” instructions on how to achieve this control.  Again, this is not a medical condition.  And there aren’t any medications you can take to relieve the problem.

Name: liza
Gender: Female
Age: 30
Location: tyne and wear
My boyfriend is a transvestite and just recently he has started taking fenugreek seed tablets and red clover blossom tablets do you have any ideas why? I am concerned that michael5.jpgmaybe he is wanting to become a woman full time could this be a possibility? Please help???

I think I’m a pretty wise and insightful guy, but I would never hazard a guess as to what might be going on in the mind of a drag queen…ever!  😉

I suppose the only way you will know for sure what he’s up to is to ask.

What I can say with some certainty is that most TV’s (transvestites) are not TS’s (transexuals), nor are they gender dysphoric.  They just like frilly knickers!

I looked up the herbal supplements you mentioned and I didn’t find anything that would suggest a sex change in the offing.  It’s more likely a case of dyspepsia.

Dear Dr. Dick,
I asked this question on the anonymous form but would prefer and
answer in my email.
I am concerned about my ED that I seem to have developed over the last
year or so. It could be the anti-depressants I am on but I have a
feeling it is Viagra. I have used Viagra for many years even when I
didn’t need it. It was just a guarantee that I could go all night. My
concern is that I have become dependent on it. When I don’t use it I
can get hard but it never last which is frustrating when with a very
hot bttm guy.
Hope to hear from you soon.

Yes, the use of antidepressants will surely impact, in a negative sort of way, one’s (both women and men) sexual response cycle, particularly the arousal stage.  In your case, your ability to get and/or cockbeans.jpgmaintain an boner.

I’ve written and spoken a lot about the use of Viagra and its fellow drugs.  You can find the postings and podcasts by going to the CATEGORY section in the sidebar of my site and search for Erection Enhancing Drugs.

Many men are becoming “hooked” on these drugs.  I would seriously recommend that you not use these meds recreationally.  I, for example, tend to rely on a cockring as opposed to a pharmaceutical.

You might also consider a high quality herbal supplement, like the ones I recommended to Steven up above.

Good luck ya’ll

byte ME!

Name: Todd
Gender: male
Age: 42
Location: OKC
Here’s one for you. Several months ago I had difficulty sleeping so I got a prescription for Ambian. I’ve been using it off and on for several weeks and it worked fine. But I think there are side effects. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and find the TV in my bedroom on and a porno in the DVD player. There’s lube and cum stains on my sheets, but I don’t remember a damn thing. I’ve heard of people sleepwalking, but not to this extent.

Some people don’t just walk in their sleep; they eat as well. And some people, like you, have sex in their sleep. As sleep disorders go, this is pretty extreme, but researchers are finding that abnormal nocturnal behaviors like eating, having sex, even driving a car may be a side effect of that popular sleep medication you’re taking.

sleepwalking3.jpg

You may be a parasomniac, someone who is prone to unusual sleep-related behaviors. Ambian may be aggravating and intensifying or triggering the condition. And curiously enough, there is such a thing as a sexsomniac.

Sexsomnia is an umbrella term for any sexual behavior (masturbation, taking dirty, even fucking) that happens while the person is asleep. The incidences of sexsomnia appear to be on the rise, but that might be attributed to growing public awareness.

As an aside, get this. — A surge in naked sleepwalking among guests has led one of Britain’s largest budget hotel groups to re-train staff to handle late-night nudity.

Travelodge, which runs more than 300 business hotels in Britain, says sleepwalking rose seven-fold in the past year, and 95 per cent of the sleepwalkers are scantily clad men. Isn’t that amazing?

The exact number of sexsomniacs is difficult to determine because it usually isn’t that much of a problem to warrant treatment or even reporting. Perhaps if you weren’t taking Ambien you wouldn’t have even known you were a sexsomniac.

I’m gonna guess, Todd, that you don’t share your bed with a regular partner, right? The reason I ask is that some sexsomniacs have been know to assault their partner, either in the form of non-consensual sex, or consensual sex that becomes disturbing or violent.

So it would seem that the best treatment for you would be to stop the Ambien. You might want to consider an herbal remedy for sleeplessness, one that doesn’t have as many unhappy and unwelcome side effects of this particular prescription med does.

Name: Zoe
Gender: female
Age: 25
Location: Boise
I learned how to masturbate when I was 12. From that first time I’ve loved how it makes me feel. No matter how good my lovers are; they never come close to the pleasure I feel when I’m touching myself. I like the intimacy I have with my boyfriend, but he’s not very good in the sack. I’ve been trying to get him to watch me masturbate, or we could masturbate together, so that he’d know how to touch me and make the bells ring. Unfortunately, he’s really straight-laced and he thinks my suggestion is perverted. He resists every time I bring it up. Sometimes after we have sex, I wait for him to fall asleep then get myself off. Is this selfish?

You betcha it’s selfish, selfish as all get-out. Not you, Zoe, but the bonehead you’re fuckin. This is a classic — “you can lead the horse to water, but you can’t make him drink” sorta deal. Only here we have a — “you can lead the horse’s ass to the mysteries of pussy, but you can’t make him appreciate them.”

I gotta ask, what’s a sexually enlightened chick, like you, doin’ with a bozo, like him? Do you actuallyebony_nude.jpg think that he’s gonna magically come around one fine day and let you lead him to nirvana? I think not. You know why I think this? It’s because you’ve created a monster, an — “all I need to worry about is me gettin’ off in my girlfriend’s snatch” kinda monster. And that’s one fuckin’ scary monster.

I am of the mind that it’s fruitless to try to get an obstinate partner, like your guy, to do something he doesn’t want to do. The nagging alone will harden his resolve to resist. In the numbskull’s defense, he may be missing the point completely. He may not understand why you want him to watch you pleasure yourself. So if your agenda is to get him to be a better lover, you’re gonna have to come up with a new strategy on how to approach the big lug.

First off, he needs to be told, in no uncertain terms, that he’s not the Hercules in the boudoir he thinks he is. This is gonna sting his ego like crazy and it might very well be the end of him and you altogether. But I assure you, risking this is much better than maintaining the status quo. Because, with each passing fuck, he will be more convinced, then the fuck before, that he’s da man.

Once you burst his bubble, you’ll need to immediately inflate a new one for and with him. Us men folk can’t long survive without our illusions. Begin this inflation process by taking some responsibility for this predicament. Own up to keeping him in the dark about his lack of sexual prowess. Then tell him that there’s a very easy and fun fix for the problem. Maybe if he understands that you want to jill-off for him as a tutorial, he’d be more compliant.

female_masturbate.jpgI’d be willing to guess that if you made this presentation more of a game or a role-play scenario then a seminar he’d be more receptive. Why not try something like this. Introduce a blindfold into your sex play. Have him strip down to his jock for you, then blindfold him. It’s gonna be his job to get you off without using the magic wand he has stuck in his jock. The blindfold will necessitate that he use his hands (and mouth) to find and pleasure you. While you tease his dick inside his jock, guide his hands to your pussy. He’ll no doubt be fumbling around at first, so you’ll have to encourage him with some dirty talk, or actually use his hand to jill yourself off. Just remember keep it fun and playful and keep his dick safely tucked away.

You can see how this little exercise could be educational for him without being emasculating. Once he figures out that there’s more to sex than the old in and out, he might actually cum around, so to speak. Similarly, you might, on another occasion, submit to the blindfold yourself and have him use your hand to jack himself off. In time, you be able to do away with the blindfold altogether. But then, you might want to introduce restraints of some sort. While he’s buck naked and restrained put on a hot and horny show for him. Tease him with your self-pleasuring, but don’t let him touch you. Maybe rub yourself with his stiff cock. Since he’ll be unable to resist, it will be like masturbating yourself with his johnson. Doesn’t that sound like a load of fun for all concerned?

However, if the monkey resists even these sexy games; kick him to the curb and find yourself a new man that will appreciate your fine self.

Name: Alex
Gender: male
Age: 19
Location: Indianapolis
I noticed from your bio, dr dick, that you are a pornographer. How do you justify that? Isn’t pornography basically an insult to human sexuality? How do you square that with being a sex therapist and believing as you say that you affirm the fundamental goodness of sexuality in human life, both as a personal need and as an interpersonal bond.”

Wow, Alex, you actually took the time to read my bio? I’m impressed. You bring up a very interesting point, albeit with a bit of a jab. You’re right, I am a pornographer. If that’s the only word you can come up with to describe what I do at Daddy Oohhh! Productions. I like to think that the adult material I produce is not in conflict with my basic, over all philosophy about human sexuality. BTW, thank you for quoting it as accurately as you did.

Admittedly, porn is a thorny issue in our sex-negative culture. Lots of people are hostile to the notion that there could actually be something uplifting and life affirming about the depiction, in any medium, of sexual behaviors. Lots of people believe that even nudity, let alone full-blown sex, is bad and that it corrupts the consumer, especially if the consumer is a youth.

I don’t happen to share that perception. But this is such a hot-button issue for most people that it’swillie.jpg very difficult to have a civil discourse about the place pornography has in our, or any other culture. Since we find it so difficult to talk about sexual things in the public forum; it’s no surprise that pornography, the public exposure of sexual things, continues to be a big bogyman for even otherwise enlightened people.

I hasten to add that, for the most part, the adult entertainment industry richly deserves the dubious reputation it has. There is an enormous amount content in the marketplace that degrades, dehumanizes and exploits. And I’m not just talking about the stuff that doesn’t suit my tastes. Because there’s a lot of good stuff out there that doesn’t particularly appeal to me.

Therefore, I caution you in your youthful zeal not to reject everything that depicts sexual behavior as worthless just because a good portion of it is indeed shameful junk. That would be like discarding all religion because a good portion of its practitioners degrade, dehumanize and shame those who don’t share their belief system.

You apparently also think there is an inherent contradiction between being a sex therapist and a pornographer. I don’t agree. For over 25 years I’ve been involved in all sorts of cutting-edge sex education and sexual enrichment projects. So why not attempt to bring a fresh, healthier perspective to adult entertainment. Sounds like the perfect role for a sexologist to me.

Humans have been depicting sexual behavior, in one fashion or another, since we were able to scratch images on the walls of our caves. Some of these depictions are intended to titillate, others to educate, even others to edify, but all are expressions of the passions of the person who scratched, painted, wrote or committed to videotape the images they did. And let’s not forget that in more sex-positive societies than our own, sexual practices were and are integral parts of worshiping the deity.

bodyrocks.jpgI think that if you were really interested in getting to know my thoughts about pornography, you’d do well to check out some of my work. I am so proud of the work that I do that I put my real name on all my products.

Porn, like most forms of human expression, can be both gold and dross. And maybe, just maybe, we need the crap in order to appreciate the treasure. The definition of what is ‘pornographic’ changes with the times. Community standards also play a part. A lingerie catalog that showed women in bras and panties is ‘pornographic’ in some place, but be no big deal in others.

Also today’s porn maybe tomorrow’s art. A lot of stuff that hangs in the Louvre museum today was, in its day, considered scandalous and pornographic. Happily, we do evolve.

I argue that there is a purpose to sexual depictions, smutty or otherwise. I mean, why else would such depictions be so pervasive and appear in every culture and in every age. And it’s not just because it’s art. Most pornography, by its very nature, is decidedly not art. So if it ain’t art, per se, what the fuck is it? Most pornography is simply designed to arouse sexual desire. And that, generally speaking, is a really good thing. It’s precisely this very pursuit that probably brought you, young Alex, to my site in the first place. Am I correct?

Sexual desire can stimulate an array of thoughts and behaviors from tender, intimate, and passionate to raw, fierce, and cruel. The mood of the consumer also plays a part. If your libido is raging, you might find a certain depiction stimulating. While the same depiction can cause disgust when your hormones are more in check.

Porn tends to show what people fantasize about, rather than what actually happens in the lives of most people. And just so you know, everything is exaggerated in pornography, body parts, sexual situations as well as sexual responses. Everything is staged and a lot of it is faked. Exaggeration is a time honored way of calling attention to something that is otherwise pretty mundane…like sex itself.

In the end, Alex, you will have to decide for yourself what merits pornography has, if any, in our culture. I suggest, however, that you approach porn with a slightly more dispassionate eye than you are currently using. You may find that it has something to teach you about yourself, your culture, as well as the history of human kind.

Good luck ya’ll

Rapid Fire Dick 2

Name: Tom
Gender: Male
Age: 43
Location: Atlanta GA
Dr Dick I have a large dick and would like to know if size does make a difference, mine iscarrotdm7.jpg 11.5 X 7 I have a problem sometimes with this size, they say it is all in how you use it is this true. Thanks T/Tom

You must think I was born yesterday. NEXT!

Name: maddy
Gender: Female
Age: 14
Location:
hi, um i know i’m young and all but with the world today you’ll see anything, and the thing is is that i’m OBSESSED with penises (and really want to suck one, but wont and cant since i’m so young) and um i don’t know if its my teenage hormones or not, could u suggest what is wrong with me? thank you very much, bye.

Fourteen year old female OBSESSED with penises? I think not. You too must think I was born yesterday.

Ya know, folks, if you’re gonna make up shit, the least you can do is be creative. Plausibility is also a requirement. NEXT!

Name: ???
Gender: Male
Age:
Location:
If I bareback with another guy and he sperms in my ass will I get an STD if he doesn’t have one? If I drink another guy’s sperm will I get an STD if he had no STD?

Are you on acid?

stupid-tee-shirt.jpgHow could you get something (STI/STD) from someone who isn’t infected with anything? All ya have to do is think things through, right?

Perhaps, someone who’s unable to logically put 2 and 2 together is not yet mature enough for partnered sex. Perhaps, that person should stick to pullin’ his pud.

Name: Sam
Gender: Male
Age: 22
Location: UK
Hi Dr. I am a 22 years old male and I have two questions. 1- me and my boyfriend are having anal sex without using condoms, does that affect any of us in any way? 2- my penis is straight which is good, but is there any way that I could make it curve upwards?

WTF? Is this an epidemic of idiocy, or what?

(1) You’re 22 and you still haven’t got the message about the risks of barebacking? If you boys aren’t HIV- and in an exclusive relationship and you’re lovin’ without a glove; then you’re courting disaster. I guess this is one way to cull the herd.

(2) if your unit is straight, that’s the way it’s gonna stay. You won’t be able to train it to curve upward or any other direction.

Name: dave
Gender: Male
Age: 45
Location: oregon
Can a person catch h.i.v by swallowing the cum of a h.i.v. positive lover?

D’oh! You’re 45 and still don’t know the score about HIV transmission? Have you been living under a rock all these years?

Swapping bodily fluids is a sure-fire way of spreading the disease.

Name: John
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Location: Australia
hey, i’ve been finding that while having sex with my g/f that my foreskin is being pulled back upon entry, i’m pretty sure it’s meant to do this anyway when it’s erect but it never really has and frankly i find it a little bit painful. when masturbating i don’t pull it back and it doesn’t decrease pleasure, what do you think i should do?

Sounds like you need to stretch your foreskin so that it will easily retract over your dickhead whenever you want it to.

I’ve written and spoken about this extensively in the past. See the CATEGORY section to the left — in the sidebar? Look of the category Foreskin. Click on that and it will take you to all my podcasts and postings on the topic.

Name: s
Gender: Male
Age: 14
Location: ny
i am uncircumcised and my foreskin and frenulum are perfectly intact. i recently read a blog that said that the first time you have sex your foreskin will “snap” back. if this is true, does it hurt? if not, will how will my foreskin bend back?foreskin002

Nope, that’s untrue…all of it! But you have come to the right place for information about all things that relate to your natural (uncut) cock.

Did you notice the advice I gave to the fella (John) above you? Good! Because that information applies to you too.

It’s too bad that your dad (or parents) didn’t taken the time to clue you into what you can expect from, or how to properly care for your foreskin. It’s his (their) responsibility, ya know. Alas, many parents shirk their duty in this regard.

Listen up parents! Do the right thing. Sit the youngens down for the body/sex talk, why don’t cha already? If ya don’t, your kids will be saddled with all sorts of myths and misconceptions, like the one presented by this young pup. Passing on clear, unambiguous information about their body (including their genitals) and sex is as much your responsibility as putting food on the table.

And finally, mom and dad, if you are unclear about the nuts and bolts of how our bodies work and/or the ins and outs of sex; educate yourself before you lay the info on the kiddies. Remember, it’s your job to educate and enlighten, not add to their misinformation.

Name: BILL
Gender: Male
Age: 53
Location: NEW YORK
Would you cover the topic of sex after prostate surgery? It’s been 16 months since my surgery and i notice a decrease in my penis size. Why did that happen and will it return to normal?

Not only will I, but I already have!

See the CATEGORY section to the left — in the sidebar? Look of the category Prostatectomy
Click on that and it will take you to two podcasts I’ve done on the topic.

As to the decrease in the size of your unit; I’d guess that it has something to do with the trauma your genital area received during surgery. I’d be willing to bet that a whole lotta slow and pleasurable massage/masturbation will increase the oxygen-rich blood flow to the area and this will, in time, restore your willie to its former stature.

Name: steven
Gender: Male
Age: 34
Location: rsa
hi there. i have a webbed penis is it necessary 2 correct this and does it hinder foreskin restoration stretch exercises which seem 2 be working very slowlycircum_egypt.jpg

The term “webbed penis” can refer two different conditions. The first is where the skin of the scrotal sack extends part way up the shaft of the penis. Boys are born this way.

The second condition is a result of adhesions forming between the scrotal skin and the penile skin due to a botched circumcision.

Since you’re practicing foreskin restoration, I’m gonna guess that your condition is the result of a bungled circumcision.

It’s a bummer when an over-zealous doc (or Mohel) docks too much of a boy’s foreskin. It can make for painful erections when he get older. Sadly, this happens way more frequently then most people realize. There’s no way to correct this. In fact, if I were you, Steven, I’d keep my precious cock as far away from a scalpel as possible. I think enough damage has been done already, don’t you?

The foreskin restoration exercises you’re doing will help stretch the skin of your dick shaft and offer you some relief, especially if your erections cause a painful tightening of your dick skin. But, as you suggest, this will take a long time to achieve. I encourage you to keep at it though, because it’s truly worth the effort.

Name: Mike
Gender: Male
Age: 47
Location: Australia
Last year I contracted genital herpes. It eventually cleared up and fortunately has not re occurred. If I have fellatio performed on me and subsequently ejaculate, will I be placing my partner at risk of catching the herpes? Even though I show no symptoms of the disease? I would appreciate your advice. Regards, Mike.

Did you know that there are two herpes viruses? There’s the HSV-1 type (cold sores) and HSV-2 type (genital herpes). Did you know that up to 80 percent of adults have HSV-1 and 25 percent of adults have HSV-2? Kinda amazing, huh?

Obviously it’s pretty easy to catch one or both strains. A whole lotta infected people don’t even know they’ve been infected. Because they never have an outbreak, or the outbreak they have is so inconspicuous they don’t even notice.

Since you know you have herpes, Mike, it’s incumbent upon you to be upfront with your partner(s) about it. Just because you don’t notice an outbreak, doesn’t mean you can’t pass on the infection. That being said, since one out of every four adults has already been exposed, the information you will be sharing won’t be all that startling.

Being upfront with your partner(s) gives him/her the opportunity to make an informed decision about going down on your pole without a condom. And certainly as to weather or not he/she decides to accept the “gift” of your spunk, if ya catch my drift.

Anything less than full disclosure would mark you as a man who has no regard for the wellbeing and best interests of his partner(s).

Good luck ya’ll

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