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Know Thyself!

It’s 2006 people! The internet impacts on nearly every aspect of our lives. We have more immediate access to more specific information about every conceivable thing under the sun — an access and availability unparalleled in history. We have the collective knowledge of all humankind at our fingertips, both literally and figuratively. Despite this super-available wealth of information, many of us still live in the dark when it comes to our bodies and how they work. We are uninformed about our anatomy, unaware of the mechanics that make us tic, and oblivious to our own sexual response cycle. This sort of ignorance and estrangement leads to all sorts of troubles.

Hi Richard
I really only had my first male sexual encounter in September (which I enjoyed!). We tried oral. He was cut and I’m not. I didn’t enjoy receiving it though as the head my dick is sensitive to the point of being sore when the foreskin is pulled all the way back. I only do that in the shower when I’m cleaning down there. When I self-pleasure, I do it in a way that the foreskin never goes full back, just halfway. I’m not sure if this is a common problem with uncut men.
I do like the idea of anal sex and I’m looking for a patient top for my first time. But I’m just worried about the whole sensation and preparation, etc.
Wayne

Wow, Wayne, new to gay sex, huh? I’m glad to hear that you’re enjoying yourself. Yes,b4.jpg the prospects of fully enjoying your newfound sexual interests must hold great allure. Congratulations!

As to your issue of your hypersensitive dick head — let’s just say that’s part of the joy of having an uncut dick. Many uncut men report similar sensitivity, especially when they haven’t had a lot of partnered sex. Some of the discomfort will dissipate on its own with the more cock-play you have. However, you can also hasten the desensitization process by retracting your foreskin and leaving your unsheathed dick in your underwear for an hour or so at a time. You could also try masturbating with your foreskin completely retracted. This will, no doubt, feel a bit odd and perhaps even uncomfortable at first, but like I said, this will subside. The object of these exercises is to take the edge off, so to speak. You don’t need to concern yourself with thoughts of total desensitization — there’s no likelihood of that happening. But you do want to get to a point where you can enjoy some great head without worrying that you will be sore afterward. You might also want to encourage your cock sucking friends to be especially careful when they’re chowin’ down on your tender meat.

In anticipation of finding that patient top you seek; you can prepare yourself, and your asshole, for the enjoyment to come. During your own private sex play — masturbation — be sure to include your sphincter and prostate. Familiarize yourself with your whole hole-area. Use your fingers and/or a small dildo to test the waters, so to speak. Take your time and use lots of lube. Don’t be afraid to experiment and push the limits a bit. The more that you know about your own ass, the more you will be able to inform future partners on how best to pleasure you.

You might want to experiment with douches too. Over the counter stuff is ok, but a simple solution of warm water and a bit of vinegar or lemon juice works even better. It’s cheaper too. When it comes to fucking, a clean ass is a happy ass. Remember when you bottom, your anal hygiene is your responsibility. The more you know about anal health and hygiene, before you give up your ass for the first time, the more likely both you and your top will enjoy yourselves.

Good luck

Hi again Richard
I appreciate you taking time to answer my questions and for the advice you’ve given me. I still think an uncut cock is a curse though! LOL Each time I read your suggestion about rolling back my foreskin, I have to cross my legs. So I just need to get over that. :-)
I will try a dildo and some lube for exploration. The nearest I have come so far is to try a finger wrapped in tissue paper. The reason this worried me was because even after a BM, sometimes it caused gas to be released and once or twice even “forced” another movement.
When being topped, does the cock go past the “squishy” muscle that I can feel with my finger? And how would one apply a water and lemon juice solution?
Wayne

Hello again, Wayne,

l1.jpgYou’ll never convince me that an uncut dick is a liability. I firmly believe that, in most circumstances, body parts are best left in their natural state.

Learning to care for an uncut dick is something else indeed. There are plenty of resources on the internet for uncut men like you. I suggest doing a search with word strings like: Sex Information or Health Information and Uncircumcised. You’ll be pleasantly surprised with the wealth of information available.

One word of caution, have your wits about you when reading through the information you find on the net. For example, you will probably notice that the American medical industry has a very strong bias toward circumcision. For some reason, our culture would prefer to mutilate a cock instead of teaching the cock’s owner, be it boy-child or grown-up man, how to care for and clean his pecker in its natural state.

Wait a minute; you’re wrapping your finger in toilet paper before sticking it in you ass? That can’t be fun or comfortable. Listen, partner, your ass is your friend, it’s the source of loads of pleasure. Shit also comes out of your ass, but it’s not the end of the world if you get a bit of it on your finger during exploration. It’s soap-and-water soluble, ya know. Rootin’ around in your bum or someone else’s bum can and often does produce some interesting byproduct. No surprise there, it’s an asshole after all.

Washing your hands after butt play, as well as keeping them away from your mouth until they are washed, will help keep things sanitary. May I suggest you get a copy of: Anal Pleasure and Health: A Guide for Men and Women by Jack Morin, Ph.D. It’s an excellent primer for the anal novice. You can find it online.

My, you are uninformed about your own anatomy. The squishy muscle you speak of is your sphincter muscle. And yes, one would hope that a top’s dick would go past that muscle to at least the depth where his cock can stimulate your prostate. Unclear on where your prostate is? You’ll find plenty of information online about that too. Do a search with word strings like: Prostate and Health Information and Anatomy.

Here’s some more homework for you. Do and internet search using the words: Anal Douche. You will find all the information you need about the care and cleaning of your asshole. You’ll also find a vast array of implements designed for just this purpose. Have a ball!

Good luck

Dr. Dick,
Please help me. I am an attractive 21-year-old guy. I have no problems with meeting women nor do I have a low libido, the problem is that I suffer from hemorrhoids. This is really embarrassing as I don’t even let a girl touch my ass. And you know how girls like to play with a guy’s ass these days. I know there are cures for hemorrhoids, but none have worked and my doctor said it is useless to cure them because anal sex will cause their return. Please, please help…I am dying of frustration and fear.
Regards,
Jay

Dear Jay,

You are not alone. Many men and women suffer from hemorrhoids and, as you say, itfingerfuck02.jpg can be frustrating, even embarrassing. But there is hope.

The first thing you ought do is look for another physician. If you are accurately reporting your doctor’s comments about butt fucking and hemorrhoids then he’s got a problem. What he told you is simply not true. You needn’t live a life of frustration and fear just because you have an ass-phobic doctor.

Do an internet search with word strings like: Hemorrhoids and Health Information and Anal Sex.

It’s hard for me to imagine a case of hemorrhoids so bad that it couldn’t be helped or cured by one of the many new and sophisticated therapies and interventions currently available. And with regard to butt fucking, there are many people who would believe that light anal stimulation can actually help relieve and even prevent hemorrhoids from reoccurring.

So do yourself a favor. Get a second opinion, a third if necessary. Find a sex-positive doctor. You can even do an internet search for Sex Positive Doctors. Or you can get a referral from a local gay hotline. Or look for a proctologist at a local university hospital. You’re more likely to find an open-minded practitioner there.

Your current physician has given you very poor advice indeed. He has done you a great disservice. Don’t let him have the last word.

Good Luck,
dr. dick

LETTERS, LETTERS, WE GOT LETTERS

Dear Doc,

So you’re a sex therapist – very interesting.

Here’s one for you – not that I am trying to get free advice – but when I meet someone I really like – which just happened about 6 weeks ago, I sometimes have a hard time getting hard. I know it is temporary – as when I am alone I always can get excited and masturbate at least once a day. I have a hard time relaxing and trusting the other person – any words of wisdom? Any ways I can relax. I just get stressed about it and worry that I won’t be hard – then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I know physically I have a very strong sex drive – but just have never explored it fully with another person.

Thanks,
T

Hey T,

jeans1.jpgIn terms of the intimacy problem you present, I think you pretty much answer your own question. You need to relax. Easier said then done, right? Relaxation techniques, like deep breathing, are very helpful, give it a try.

Some guys also have enormous emotional investments in every one of their sexual connections. This never makes for a relaxed encounter. And as we both know, no relaxation can also mean no erection either.

If I had to guess, I’d say you don’t have a great deal of sexual experience to draw upon; this too can add to performance anxiety. There’s a pretty simple remedy for that too. Go out and get the experience you need.

Sexual experience for the novice fucker is as essential as behind the wheel experience is for a novice driver. The more experience one has behind the wheel, or in your case, in the sack, the more likely that person will be a relaxed and confident driver, Mmm…I mean…fucker.

Good luck

Dr. Dick,

I’m 55, single, and never have been with a man. I view the gay galleries and j/o. Frightened to come out and even more frightened to have an affair. Am I gay or not, is the first question. Second I’m really turned on by men of muscle in the galleries and jo daily.
from dilemma

Dear dilemma,

You have many more pressing emotional and psychological problems than yourassorted1.jpg concern about jerkin off to muscle boy smut and what it might say about you being queer.

When I get this sort of letter from an 18 year old I tend to be a bit more compassionate. After all, a young man doesn’t have the bank of life experience that you do to help guide him in his journey of self-discovery. But you’re 55 years old, for christ sake! Where have you been for the last 30 years? You’re crippled with a shit-load of fear, guilt , shame and self-loathing and that sucks (and not in a good way either). When do you suppose you’re gonna get around to addressing all this baggage, darlin’? You ain’t no spring chicken no more, honey! Time’s a wastin’.

Dr. Dick suggests that you place a moratorium on chokin’ the chicken for a few weeks and spend some of that down time with a qualified therapist who’ll help you face your fears and embrace your identity. For the time being, I can safely say that you are not gay. Dr. Dick reserves that designation for those of us who can self-identify with pride.

Good luck

Ok, Doc. I gotta question for you. I was “playing” with a friend of mine this past week and every time I top him, he can’t stand getting fucked for more than 10 minutes. We start off with him riding me. Then after let’s say 5-7 min, I turn him over on his back and try fucking him with his legs in the air only to have him ask me to pull out after 2 min b/c he’s sore. This is the 2nd time this has occurred. Would it be advisable to let him ride it for the duration of the fuck (I kind of like to be in control, but am totally cool with whatever the bottom wants as long as he feels good). Any other suggestions? I do rim and sometimes I finger him.
Anyway, I’d thought I’d ask a professional like you just so that I can be a better top.
—BMOC

Dear BMOC,

Do you ever bottom? The best advice I have for tops is to bottom on a regular basis. Really! In fact, my rule of thumb is, if ya can’t be a bottom you oughtn’t be a top.

0821.jpgSome tops are angry tops. They have something to prove, or more precisely, something they’re compensating for. That being said, I would add that in your case, your desire to be in control might very well be the root of the problem, at least with this particular bottom. Sounds to me like you are being too aggressive for this guy. Some boys like a nice gentle fuck. The fact that he’s more comfortable riding your dick then you pounding away at him tells me that he needs to be in control not you.

Good luck

Hi Doctor Dick.
I am a French black Bodybuilder into local contests.
My question: Can a dick turn curved from daily j/o? For some years my cock is “looking” to right.
Thanks for answer.
—Mike

Hey Mike,
No, frequent j/o has nothing to do with your dick curving one way or another. That is unless you’re brutalizing it in the process.
black207.jpg Your cock is made up of two blood filled channels (corpora cavernosa) and one sponge like tube encasing the urinary passage (urethra). Sometimes the two corpora cavernosa are not equal in length from birth. Sometime the shortening of one or the other occurs as a man matures. Either way, the result is a curve of the cock towards the shorter side. Some dicks also curve up or down a bit. This is TOTALLY normal and it’s nothing to be concerned about. If, however, the curve becomes very pronounced, or becomes uncomfortable, it can be a sign of trauma. This is technically known as Peyronies disease and can be corrected surgically.
The best bet is to make sure that when you’re jerkin off you treat your dick with care. Remember it’s the only one that you’re ever gonna have.

Good luck

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