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I’ll Bite…

Name: Bob
Gender:
Age: 22
Location: NJ
I have been having a ton of rough sex with my boyfriend and the last time we did it he complained that I ripped something up there and that it burns whenever I try to slide in. He also says it burns sometime when he does #2 and he finds blood also! What can we do to get him better and prevent this from happing again?

Oh Bob? Are you completely brain dead? Tell me that you and your BF have been doing so many drugs that you’ve both fried your brains to the point that neither one of you can put two and two together. Please tell me that, because that is the only explanation for either or both of you not attending to your abused BF’s butt hole before now. You simply can’t be that friggin’ ignorant! Where there’s pain and blood, there is BIG trouble. Your BF needs to see a doctor immediately. If an infection sets in, he could lose his bowls. And he’ll have to shit in a bag for the rest of his life.

Listen up, you monkeys! If you’re gonna be doin’ a lot of rough sex, especially weremen_fucking46.jpg delicate innards are concerned, you gotta know that it’s only a matter of time till you cause some serious harm. And I know for certain that rough sex inside someone’s asshole is simply impossible unless the bottom is wigged out on some mind and body altering substance. This is absolutely and always unadvisable!

If you have some death wish, fine…proceed. But if you are serious about wanting to know how to prevent this from happening again, that’s easy too. First, quit the fuckin’ drugs…at least while you’re fuckin’ each other senseless. Second, rough sex is fine to a point. But if the rough sex involves abusing someone’s rectum or colon, then you’re goin way too far.

Name: Thomas
Gender: male
Age: 18
Location: Dublin
I just want to know how you start and ask a girl to have sex.

Well, that sure is to the point, Thomas! I suppose the answer to that query will depend on the young woman in question. Do you have a particular girl in mind? Or is this a generic “how to” question?

I’m of the mind that the direct approach works best, just so long as you’re not gonna be a dick about it. That being said, if the chick is a mate of yours and you fancy her, you’ll need to take a different approach to finessing a fuck than if you want to shag a relative stranger.

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So, before I go much further with my advice on how to bag a bird, I think we’d better take a good look at you first. Is there anything about you that would make you attractive to a young lass? I mean if you’re not overly geeky and have a bit of charm about you, your task is gonna be considerably easier than if you are some uncouth Neanderthal who just wants to dip his wick in some fine pussy.

If you’re not sure what kind of guy you are, ask a woman friend for her honest feedback. If she tells you she’d bump you in a pinch — you may have something going for you. If she tells you that she’d rather let her cooch die a slow lonely death than fuck the likes of you — you definitely have your work cut out for you.

Regardless of what group you fall into — the “possibly fuckable”, or the “not fuckingdating_bar.jpg ever;” you can always improve your image among the ladies. Look to how you present yourself; make sure you are groomed, clean and odor-free. Dress to impress. That doesn’t mean fancy or fussy. Just make sure it looks like you gave your cloths a thought before you dressed yourself. Make yourself interesting; have a point of view. But share it sparingly. If you can’t be clever and witty, then keep your mouth shut for the most part. Women love the strong silent type. And they rarely know if the silence is stoic or stupid till it’s way too late.

And if you really want to get laid never approach any woman like she’s a piece of meat. If you think women are put on this earth simply to satisfy a man’s needs, stick to pullin’ your own pud. And here’s a tip: I always suggest that a guy squeeze one off before he goes on a date. This will take the edge off his sexual tension and his blue balls won’t be so friggin obvious to the lass he’s tryin’ to woo. There’s nothing more unattractive to most women than a desperate fuck. Besides, if you don’t jerk off first, you’ll have way too short a fuse and you’ll be finished before she even begins. Get it? Got it? Good!

If you’re not already friends with the chick you lookin’ to bone, take the time to become her friend. This will involve some effort. If you’re not in it for the long haul, then skip it and find yourself a pro who will get you off for a few quid.

If the woman in mind is already a friend, and she trusts you because you’ve been nice to her, you’re half way there. She’ll be more inclined to say yes to your direct request.

Keep in mind that women are different from men, especially where sex is concerned. Few women are as casual about sex as are most men. So if she says no don’t take it personally. She may just be shy, or not ready, or not sure. It’s your job to draw her out, be patient while you do so. And most of all reassure her that you have her best interest at heart.

If she is uncomfortable with you, ask her why. You may learn some very interestingcunny009.jpg things about yourself that you need to work on. Maybe she just wants you to take your time and finesse her into giving up the bump.

If she has her wits about her, she’ll be concerned about the whole pregnancy thing. This is much more serious concern for a girl then for a boy. If you’re not well versed on several methods of contraception, you’re not ready to have sex. Sexually transmitted infections ought to be a concern for you both. Don’t be a fuck-up; always use a condom.

If you’ve got a hardon, it’s not the right time to be pestering a chick for sex. Talk about having sex at another time when the need is not so urgent. If you pressure her to service your wood, you’re going about this at the wrong time and in the wrong way. If she senses that all you want is to satisfy your loathsome self, she’ll have you pegged as the asshole you are.

Remember that there are lots of different ways to have sex, so she might welcome one type while rejecting another. Maybe she’d be up for a hand job or blowjob, just no full-on fucking. Whatever the case may be, you’d be well advised to get her off a couple of times before you look to your own satisfaction. Whatever you do, respect her boundaries and let her know that you won’t pressure her to do anything she doesn’t want to do.

In the end, there no standard way to ask for sex, but if you treat the woman with respect, honesty, and patience, you can be sure that whatever words you use they’ll be more welcomed than if you’re a jerk.

Name: Sita
Gender: female
Age: 19
Location: Delhi
Hi!
I came to know u through the net. I am from India and I am 19 years old. I am married for the past one year and I have a problem. Myself and my husband had sexual relationship which meant only breaking of the hymen but whenever he tries to insert it I cry out of pain and stop him from it. I really do not know how to overcome this problem. Kindly help me please.

The two most likely reasons for this painful fucking are: 1) you’re not aroused enough before the fucking begins, or 2) you have a physical condition that might make fucking painful, even if you are aroused.

black_couple.jpgI’d be willing to bet that, in your case, Sita, the first reason is the more likely cause of your discomfort. This is often the case with young people having their first go at sex. One can hardly fault them, both women and men in our culture, as well as the women and men in yours, are not particularly informed about their own sexual response cycle, much less the sexual response cycle of their partners.

Young women new to sex, may not have time to come to full arousal before their man starts trying to shove it in. A woman, particularly one who is new to fucking, must come to full arousal before her partner attempts penetration. A man, on the other hand, needs only to have a stiff dick. And if the young men in your country are anything like the young men here in the good old US of A, they pretty much a hardon 24 hours a day. This obviously makes them ready and eager for the old in and out long before their female partners are ready and eager for the same. If your husband is guilty of this, and I’d bet my last rupee that he is, your body will resist him, even if you want to make a go of it.

I’d also be willing to bet that your culture, like ours, doesn’t value a woman’s sexuality or pleasure as much as it values a man’s sexuality and pleasure. If that’s the case, you’re gonna have to struggle against those cultural forces to gain your rightful place as an equal sex partner in your marriage.

Start by being well informed about your own sexual response cycle. If you don’t know what turns your crank, don’t expect your hubby to know what to do. My first question to you is: are you orgasmic? If not, there’s a whole lot of remedial sex learning for you to do on your own. If you resist doing this, for whatever reason — women are not supposed to do that, blah, blah, blah —you can say good by to ever enjoying sex with your man.

Once you figure out how your body work, it’s gonna be your responsibility to instructpenetration.jpg your husband on the subtleties and points of interest of your particular pussy. Touch is very important to most women: often a woman will want to be touched and caressed all over, not just on the sexually charged points of her body like her tits and clit. Take your husband on a little touch tour of your body. Literally, take him by the hand and touch yourself with his fingers. Show him the kind of touch you like in the places you like to be touched. Take your time with this. I can guarantee he’s not gonna get it the first time out.

With your help he’s gonna be able to see your arousal build. He should be encouraged to use his lips and mouth as well as his hands. Make your man work for his bone, darling. If you let him just pounce on you like a sack of rice, that’s how he’s gonna respond to you. If you want him to behave like a lover rather than a conqueror, then you’re gonna have to demand that of him.

If you’re not fully aroused, your pussy will be dry. Use a lubricant to make yourself slippery and to facilitate penetration. If you can’t get commercial lube, cooking oil, body lotion or saliva is better than nothing at all.

If you follow these simple steps, Sita, you will have greater success with your fucking. You will experience great pleasure for yourself and be a fount of pleasure for your husband. In the end, it is you who must take the lead in this. Know your own body, so you can teach your husband about it. Then insist that he respect and use that information.

Name: Tench
Gender:
Age: 27
Location: San Francisco
Dear Dr. Dick: I read your response to someone having trouble making gay friends. You said casual sex tends to be the norm for making friends in the gay community. I actually agree, but I wish that weren’t the only answer. My boyfriend and I have been happily together for over a year and a half. We lost a lot of “friends” because we are in a monogamous relationship. It seems they were friends to the extent they had a chance of sleeping with (or dating) either one of us. So now we have significantly less friends, which tends to happen I suppose when a couple takes the time to grow together and bond. But now we want to re-emerge to the social scene, go out more often and have fun. We don’t want to make friends vis a vis threesomes or on open relationship. Are you saying we’re doomed to never have gay friends again unless we put out? Honestly, that’s how it often seems in SF, and frankly, it’s not acceptable. I’d rather just be with my boyfriend. Thanks!
What an interesting predicament you present. Would you mind if we examined things a bit closer? You’re tellin’ me you guys used to have friends before you got together in the sexually exclusive relationship you’re currently enjoying, right? Then these former friends…and I think it’s pretty safe to assume these were mostly single friends…began to drop away when they realized they no longer could compete for either of your affections, right?

Well, do ya blame ‘em, darlin’? I sure don’t. I mean why would any self-respecting single gay man stick around? Just to enjoy your little nesting experience from afar? Gee, no thanks!

If these former friends were also suitors to either you or your current husband, whymale_kiss.jpg would you want them to hang in there? You are making such a big deal out of the exclusivity of your nest, wouldn’t these others just be unwelcome 3rd wheels, as it were? I believe these other, not so exclusively encumbered as you, gay men would be much better served by taking their leave of you and your current husband and trying to find their own nesting situation. On top of the sexual tension that would continue if they did stick around, they’d also not be positioning themselves very well to find their own mate. Would you not agree?

So, ok I hope we cleared up that part. Now you say that you and your current husband are through with the first stage of nesting, the really exclusive part. And you now want to increase your circle of friends. Ok, that’s not a particularly tall order to fill! You’d probably do well to look to other couples for these new friendships, right? I mean, what would you old married guys have in common with single queer men…other than your youthfulness?

Good luck ya’ll

Anything Goes…

Name: Denise
Gender: Female
Age: 35
Location: Colorado
My husband and I have two beautiful sons, 11 and 13. We are a naturist family. Our children have grown up in this way of life and they have a healthy appreciation for the human body and are comfortable with nudity. Recently, both our sons said they did not want to join my husband and I at our yearly naturist retreat. We are honoring their wishes, but we are disappointed by their decision. Any thoughts on were we may have gone wrong?

Let’s give our readership a little background first, shall we Denise? For the uninformed, nudists or naturists practice social nudity. While nudity is an obvious aspect of nudism, it is just part of a much larger lifestyle and life philosophy.

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The nudist/naturist lifestyle promotes a wholesome appreciation of the human body, mind, and spirit. They believe that this wholesomeness comes easiest to those who shed the psychological and social encumbrance of clothing.

Naturists also promote health through complete contact of the whole body with the natural elements. Nudism is practiced, as much as possible, in environments free of the pollution and the stress of modern living. It also involves a holistic approach to nutrition, physical activity, mental health, and social interaction.

As Denise suggests, nudism fosters family participation. Children in naturist families learn to appreciate the human body as part of their natural environment. They often grow up with healthier attitudes toward the physical body and do so with much less fear or shame their non-naturist peers.

naturism2.jpgNow on to your concern, Denise. I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong. On the contrary, I think you are navigating this seeming change of heart by your kids very well. You’ve decided, and rightly so, to honor their wishes to not participate in the whole naturists thing for the time being.

Your boys are going through puberty and that alone is enough to set their whole world on its head. They may also be facing intense peer pressure from their non-naturist mates. Societal pressures to fit in and conform, even to unhealthy cultural dictates about “proper” behavior and injurious hyper body consciousness is particularly demanding during the early teenage years. Somehow the desire to be popular distorts a kid’s perception and can screw up his/her self-esteem.

Ideally, your son’s nudist upbringing would give them the ability to look past these superficial elements, and maybe they will in time. Right now, they need to feel they have more of a control over some of the externals of their life. And it is easy enough for you and your husband to grant them this. I would hasten to add that you and the hubby ought not sink to the lowest common denominator. I encourage you to continue to live your lifestyle as before. Your kids need to know that if they want their wishes respected, they’ll need to respect yours.

With a little luck, the body acceptance, self-respect and confidence you’ve instilled in your sons will once again kick in once their hormones simmer down. Just know that the anxiety you and your husband are experiencing is simply part and parcel of being parents to teens…nudist or non.

Name: Ed Clarke
Gender:
Age: 52
Location: Chicago
Dr. Dick, Please settle a bet. I say that a man with an 8 inch dick has more nerve endings than one who has only 5 inches of meat, and that means he gets more sexualsailor04.jpg stimulation of his joystick and greater pleasure. What do you say, Doc?

Ahhh, a betting man, are ya Ed? Ok, simply put, an 8-inch dick has indeed more skin than a 5-incher, but not more nerve endings. Just like a guy with a long neck has more skin than a guy with a short neck, but both guys have the same number of neck bones.

The nerve endings in a relatively short dick are more concentrated than those in a longer dick, but they function just the same. If you need further proof, consider a woman’s clit. It’s tiny compared to an 8-inch boner, but it packs more wallop per square centimeter than that big boy.

I also hesitate to endorse any notion that a bigger dick enjoys more sexual stimulation than a smaller dick. Skillful stimulation has less to do with size than it does with technique. And the notion that a bigger dick may somehow be the source of more pleasure than one that’s not so big…is also a myth. Once again, I refer you to that marvelous creation — the clit.

So I guess it’s time to pay up, huh Mr. Clarke?

Name: Katrina
Gender:
Age: 26
Location: Dallas
Dear Dr Dick: I am a 26 year old woman and want to trim my bush but am scared to go to the waxing salon. Is the salon safe? Do you have any recommendations for how I could go about this myself? Are there home kits?

Have you considered using the old weed-whacker, darlin’? Oh wait, not that kind of bush trimming, huh?ladypruning.jpg

OK, let’s see, are salons safe? I suppose if you entrusted your precious bush to a licensed establishment you’d be fine.

Any recommendations for how you could go about doing this yourself? I haven’t talked to too many women about this, but most of the men I know who manscape their pubes do so with a disposable razor while in the shower. Some submit to waxing, but most say it hurts way too much. Men are such PUSSIES!

Waxing has been around for centuries. People used to rid themselves of their pubic hair to cut down on infestations of lice and other unwanted vermin. Nowadays waxing and shaving are merely cosmetic in nature. I’m personally a big fan of the natural look, but to each his own, right?

wax_job.jpgWaxing can be done at home, and yes, there are kits available. I don’t know too much about these kits, so I can’t advise you further. What I can offer you is the basics — hot wax is applied to the hair infested areas of the skin, and a strip of cloth or paper is pressed into the wax. The strip is then quickly pulled away, taking the hair with it. OUCH! What price beauty???

This method is fast and relatively inexpensive…at least as one compares it to a salon job. But for the novice at-home waxer, this can also become very messy and if the done improperly the hair can break off below the surface of the skin and cause unsightly red bumps that look like prickly heat. This can also lead to an infection. And that’s never a good thing.

At-home kits can cost from $25-$75. Professional wax jobs can run from $50-$200 depending on the area treated.

Name: Marti
Gender: female
Age: 27
Location: Seattle
Is there such a thing as an asexual? The reason I ask is that I think I am one. I’m happy and well adjusted, but sex does nothing for me. I can’t orgasm. My genitals are icky. My marriage seems fine. I love my husband; we share the same values. And even if there’s nothing in it for me, I’m apparently pretty good at fellatio. We don’t do intercourse. Is this normal for some people? Are some people simply not wired to be sexual? I have no problems with love. I’m passionate about my husband and my friends, but it’s more of a cerebral thing.

Yeah, Marti, I do believe there is such a thing as an asexual. But I don’t think you’re one. Ya know why I say that? It’s because an asexual has an indifference toward sex. You, dear lady, exhibit disgust toward sex and things sexual…including your very own pussy. And that tells me you have an aversion to sex, which is completely different from what an asexual feels about sex.sexy-couple.jpg

I’d also have to challenge you on your statement that you are happy and well adjusted. I just don’t buy it, darlin’! And here’s a tip, if you have to go out of your way to tell someone you are happy and well adjusted, you’re probably neither.

In my estimation, a young married, albeit preorgasmic, woman who denies her hubby the old in and out, but begrudgingly blows him when absolutely necessary is NOT happy or well adjusted. SORRY! Since you have never known the joys of sex, you can hardly dismiss them as unimportant.

If we had access to your long-suffering husband I think he would tell a different tale than you, Miss Marti. I’ll betcha he’s withering on the vine for lack of nookie — the odd semi-obligatory blowjob he gets doled out to him on occasion not withstanding.

Listen darling, you got issues…big fuckin issues that need to be addressed ASAP. Don’t go trying to cover your shit with a happy face like asexuality. You’ll give all those real sexual ascetics a bad name if ya do.

female_masturbate.jpgBegin by resolving your anorgasmia, or as other call it preorgasmia. Because that, my dear, is the root of your sexual aversion. Work with a qualified sex-positive therapist. Learn to masturbate in a way that will bring you sexual satisfaction. Once you and your trusty vibrator slams yourself your first screamin’ meme of an orgasm, I believe you will change your tune about the rest of sex and your much maligned pussy too.

We can only hope that your deprived spousal unit will stick around during this remedial period. But you’re gonna have to level with him. Tell him you’ve finally accepted the fact that you have a problem that you need to get to the bottom of it, so to speak. With his help and support and that of your therapist, you’ll find your way to real happiness and being an authentically well-adjusted person, not just someone who says she is.

Anything short of this kind of honesty will continue to rob your husband of the full-fledged sex life he ought to be enjoying with you his wife. If ya don’t you can be sure ‘ole hubby will find his satisfaction in a more welcoming pussy than yours…if he hasn’t already.

Good luck ya’ll

Year End Wrap-Up

This here winds up another year of dolin’ out the whole advice thing. So let’s go out with a bang, shall we?

Name: Jane
Gender: Female
Age: 23
Location: Vancouver. BC
When my boyfriend and I have sex, there’s a 50/50 chance that he will put his penis between my butt cheeks and hump me that way until he cums. (It’s just intense rubbing, no anal penetration). Even though I don’t feel like I’m getting any pleasure from it, my vagina gets wet, and if he touches me down there and feels that I’m wet, it turns him on even more. What’s going on here?
He’s very affectionate and he tells me he loves by my body. He says he’s totally straight, but this whole anal thing confuses me. If he’s not gay or bi-sexual, why is it that it takes him 20+ minutes to cum during vaginal sex, but only 5 – 7 minutes to cum during anal?

Ok, Jane, to start with, your BF isn’t doing anal. Believe me, darling, you’d know if he were. Anal sex, by definition, means anal penetration. There’s a name for what your freaky boyfriend is doing — rubbing his cock in your crack, but not penetrating your rosebud. It’s a form of frottage, or sexual stimulation by rubbing. This is the sexual practice of choice for most lesbians, most commonly referred to as pussy-bumpin’. Hey, maybe your BF is a lesbian!

Second, your pussy may be getting wet because your boyfriend’s pre-cum and34921.jpg spooge is dripping down your crack, past your “taint” and all over your fine pussy. It ain’t you producing the wetness, which explains why you’re not aroused. I hope that clears up the mystery juice for ya.

Third, loads of exclusively straight men are into anal. Most are into butt fucking their women, but some are into being fucked BY their women. We call this practice pegging — a woman straps on a dildo and buggers him senseless.

So you see, fucking is not just for cunts anymore!

So let’s review. Now that we know for certain that an interest in cornholein’ a sweet ass is not a gay thing. You can relax about your BF bein’ queer for wanting to hump your bum. For some guys this is their favorite kind of sex. They love to bust a nut by rubbing their dicks between a chick’s tits, thighs, or feet. It’s anyone’s guess why these dudes prefer this to getting off in, on or around a pussy, but whatever it is, it’s completely harmless.

Here’s a tip, Jane, relax into this with the ‘ol BF, why don’t ya? Once you stop worrying about his sexual orientation because of his fascination with your be-hind, you may actually enjoy the special attention he’s paying your boot-ty.

And hey, if your BF’s freak with your ass crack isn’t gettin’ you off, you don’t have to just lie there and take it, ya know. While he’s grinding away back there, you could be spending some quality time with little miss clit. Soon you’ll be enjoying things as much as he.

Name: Samuel
Gender: Male
Age: 36
Location: Arkansas
Eight years ago I was involved with a woman who liked to fuck me in the ass with a strap-on. I liked it a lot, and when we stopped seeing each other, I missed the sensation. I’ve tried hooking up with other women who want to do this to me, but I’ve only found a few. And all of them were looking for a relationship, something I don’t want. Eventually I turned to men for the anal action I was missing. Some of guys are gay, some bi, and some straight. We never hug, kiss or do oral. I only receive, never give. I don’t see a guy for more than a couple of times. Now there seems to be fewer guys out there who want a tight ass to fuck. I prefer women, but men will do — I just really get off on the sensation.

Well, aren’t you a charming fucker…I mean fuckee. You haven’t a clue how selfish your being, do you? And you wonder why the pool of people willing to pound your “tight ass” is drying up. It’s not the lack of fuckers out there, darlin; it’s you!

Listen up, there are some basics that you seem to have overlooked when it comes to partnered sex. First among these is ya need at least a modicum of mutuality in your sex play. Did you ever hear of “Give to Get?” There’s probably no mystery why the first woman who strapped one on for you fled the scene. She discovered that you’re just in this for yourself. The other women who pegged you probably did so hoping they’d get something in return. Even the guys are fleeing in droves. And it’s entirely your fault, Sam. And ya know what else, I’d be willing to bet that you’re getting a reputation for yourself there in Arkansas. Nobody likes a self-absorbed prick. Thatkl628.jpg kind of bad rep gets around fast, especially in the hinterlands.

Anyone wanting to get laid as much as you ought to learn how to finesse the fuck he wants. Lets start with the women. Most women are unaccustomed to being a top. Many would feel pretty self-conscious with a strap-on. So, in exchange for the kind of extraordinary sex you are looking for, most women would want something in return. Most would feel more comfortable exercising a kink in a relationship of some sort or another. They have little to gain otherwise. And if your behaviors with men are any indication of the sex you have with women, it’s a wonder that you’ve got pegged at all.

Most men are a lot like most women in this regard. While there are a few of us mens who will fuck whatever presents itself; even they will look for something in return besides a tight ass to fuck. And here’s a tip — most guys who crow about how tight their ass is, are deluding themselves. Your insatiable hole is probably not in as pristine condition as you’d like to think.

I have several suggestions for you. First and foremost, treat your partners, even your casual hook ups, with some dignity and respect. Each one is more than just a stiff dick (or dildo) for you to pleasure yourself with. If you want to prevent the pool of available fuckers from evaporating completely, show some humanity yourself. Find out what turns your partner’s crank and get her/him warmed up for the fuck fest. If it take some hugging, kissing and a decent blowjob…you’d better take care of business. It’s the least you can do.

Finally, if you have a preference for women (and you’re put off by the idea of hugging, kissing and a blowin’ some dude just to get your sorry ass fucked); then rethink your aversion to having a relationship. There are all kinds of relationships — from fuck (pegging) buddies to marriage. Surly, you could find it in your heart to reward the woman willing to plug your hungry ass with a little something more than “catch ya later, bitch!”

Name: Tammy
Gender: Female
Age: 32
Location: Chicago
My innermost desire is to have a dominant type man take control in sex and get down and dirty with me. But I never meet that kind of guy in my regular social life. It doesn’t seem like such a difficult thing, but it’s been out of reach all of my life. It has left me feeling like I don’t want to get involved with anyone and only have to deal with more disappointment. I feel like I’m at a dead end…and troubled about it!

Tammy, don’t despair. You’re just looking in the wrong place for the thing you desire most.

Before I get too far into this, I just want to make sure I understand you correctly. When you say you want a dominant type of man to take control in sex; I’m gonna assume you don’t want some loutish. uncouth Neanderthal who will treat you shit, right? You do, however, want a man to dominate you, but not without respecting you first, right? Ok, lets start there.

First off, you’re gonna have to come out as a perv, sweetheart. Yeah, “perv” like in pervert. That’s what the folks in the kink community call themselves. You’re a kinky perv — Say it loud, Say it proud! And you need to connect with other kinky pervs. There may be some closeted pervs in your current social circle, but you’ll probably never know for sure. Times being what they are, most kinksters save that information for their friends in the kink community. So it’s high time to shift gears and start socializing in that community. They’ll welcome you, embrace you and help you realize your innermost desire.a93644_160w.jpg

Once you can admit to yourself who you are and give a name to what you desire, you will have more success finding what you want. Tammy, you are a submissive (sub) in search of her dom (dominant). You also need to figure out if you are looking for a casual hookup or if you want to make this a lifestyle. Here’s a tip; kinksters and pervs alike will be less likely to embrace you if they think you’re a dilettante. A true dom/sub relationship is one that permeates all layers of a person’s life, not just a role-play in the boudoir. In fact, most dom/sub relationships are not centered on sex. Not that sex is ruled out, of course.

Begin the process of self-identification by taking stock of who you are, everything from your taste in music to your spirituality and politics. The more you know about yourself, the easier it will be for you to connect with the dom of you’re your dreams.

The internets is gonna be your new best friend as you begin your search. You’ll needa100534_160w.jpg to learn some of the lingo and there are plenty of resource sites out there that can help you. Do a search using keywords like Dominant, Master, Domme, Mistress, Submissive. Luckily, you’re in a major metropolitan area. You’ll have no trouble at all connecting with the perv community in your area by just following some of the links you discover in your online search.

You could also check out some of the video offerings in dr dick’s HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY

Most kink sites have bulletin boards and/or member profiles. Once you get your bearings and have a grip on some of the vocabulary, you’ll want to set up your own profile. Be as clear about what it is you want as possible. Big cities, like Chicago, also have perv organizations that welcome a novice kinkster to local social events and meet and greets. Some even have demo’s and workshops. You’d do well to immerse yourself in this subculture, because the more information you have the more enlightened your future choices will be.a100532_160w.jpg

When connecting online with other pervs, be courteous. You’ll no doubt encounter an array of lifestyle choices and sexual proclivities, some of which may be off-putting to you. Remember, you are the guest here. Leave your uptight judgments and provincial attitudes at the door. You’re will have to earn the trust and respect of this community if you ever hope to be taken seriously by them.

Once you are acclimated to your new surroundings, you might want to set up a meeting with a dom who interests you. This should strictly be a vanilla meeting in a neutral place. Look for a seasoned dom. Ask for references from the guy you are interviewing. These should include other subs that this dom has been with. Beware of a dom who is without proper references.

Before connecting with a dom, be sure you get his phone numbers — home and cell phone. No beepers. Of course, you’ll have to share your numbers with him as well. If ya can’t trust one another with phone numbers there’s no chance this is gonna be the match made in heaven. The more confidence you have in the dom the more trust you’ll able to invest in him…and the safer you’ll be. And since all sub/dom relationships are grounded in trust there’s no substitute for absolute trust.

Finally, being a submissive is a state of mind. It is not a particular sex act, it is not a game, and it is not role-playing and it is not gender specific. The best dom/sub relationships are those that express a mutuality of care, concern and trust. And here’s a tip: your commitment to you dom ought exceed your need for him.

Name: Jennifer
Gender: Female
Age: 23
I am 23 years old and I like lesbian and gay porn. It’s been my favorite since I discovered it a few years ago. But my boyfriend hates the thought of people of the same gender having sex. I don’t like hetero porn, and that’s all he uses. Is there any way I can get him to enjoy my kind of erotica?

Your boyfriend’s being a dreadful drag, huh? What’s he afraid of, do you suppose? He’s probably afraid he’ll pop wood while he’s watchin’ gay porn with his girlfriend. That’ll surly shake his masculinity to its foundation. I mean, it’s one thing for him to get a boner when he’s checking out the queer stuff by himself — and you know he does! It’s another thing all together for him to get hard watching two dudes fuck while he’s with you. It’s clear to me that your BF has issues, darling. And I think you know that too.

a38036_160w.jpgNow I’m not suggesting that he has to like everything you like, or that you have to like everything he likes. A couple can have a really healthy relationship despite differences in the kind of smut each prefers. But matters of taste aside, I think a smart chick, like you, knows that porn is as much a political statement as it is a sexual statement.

Here’s what I mean. Most straight porn features male identified sex — exclusively. That’s probably why you, and 90% of your sisters, don’t like it. The producers of most of this stuff create it with a predominately straight male audience in mind. And you can pretty much count on it exploiting women in the process. Gay porn does not exploit women, for obvious reasons and lesbian porn is the most radical of all. It is unabashed female identified sex. No female exploitation there. Of course, I’m talkin’ about real lesbian porn, not the caca that simulates girl-on-girl sex in “straight” porn.

Most straight males get off on hot girl-on-girl action in straight porn, because the performance represents male identified sex in the extreme. In fact, one of my good gal pals in the porn business often says that girl-on-girl sex in straight smut is about as far away from authentic female sexuality as gay porn, which has no women in it at all.

I’m gonna go out on a limb here, Jen and guess that you’re a little too radical for Mr. Whitebread. But if you think that he’s worth the effort involved in loosening him up, start by reassuring him that there will always be a place in your heart for his johnson even when you’re enjoying a sweet lesbo fantasy. If you really want to enjoy yourself with your guy while you enjoy your dyke porn, tell him you want him to pretend he’s a porn star and he’s gonna appear in the next scene with the two chicks you’re watching. Watch the lezzie scene together and then have him tell you what’s gonna happen in the next scene when he catches the two naughty vixens. Perhaps you could suggest that he roll play that with you after the movie. Ya see, Jen, you’re gonna have to trick the monkey into watching what you want, cuz he ain’t gonna open his mind all by his-own-self.

Deprogramming him of his homophobia may be a bit more challenging, but there are ways. You could start by telling him that everyone knows that no one sucks a guy’s dick like another guy. And so you want to pick up a few pointers from the pros before you go down on him again. When the big cock-sucking scene begins start grabbing at his package. We all know he’s gonna be hard as a rock. Those repressed types are so damned predictable. Now if at all possible start blowin’ him with the same vigor as the homos in the movie. Blow jobs are the great equalizer. Mr. Whitebread will be enjoying himself so much he’ll hardly have time to reflect on how radical he’s becoming.

In the end, I don’t think you should compromise and watch hetero porn unless he’sa86491_160w.jpg willing to compromise too. Of course you both could watch your chosen porn privately, but where’s the fun in that. Or you could just trade-off one scene of his for one scene of yours. Or compromise with some hot bisexual porn. There’s not a whole lot of really good bi porn out there, but there is some. Just be discriminating. Life is just too short for bad smut.

You could try dueling porn. Two screens, two TVs or a TV and a computer screen, each playing a different type of porn. Or you could really throw caution to the wind and have a full-blown fuck-a-rama — multiple screens with multiple images all going at once. It’s so easy to do these days with the proliferation of computers and online porn. And just about every household has at least two TVs and two computers lying around. So knock yourself out, girl!

It’s clear to me, Jen, that you’re gonna have to take the lead in this. You being the more enlightened one. I believe that your arousal will arouse him. And if your fire doesn’t ignite his, simply throw the bum out!

Good luck Ya’ll  and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Summertime Blues!

Name: Carlos
Gender:
Age: 18
Location: Isle of man
When I wank for hours and hours without cuming while watching porn and then cum after the many hours, my cum becomes watery and transparent. Is this normal?

Long periods of “edging,” like what you’re doing, will often result in some of your spunk being forced backward into your bladder. This is known as a retrograde ejaculation, don’t cha know. Have you noticed that after one of your extended wank sessions your pee is a little cloudy? That’s the rest of your cum, pup. While there’s nothing abnormal about watery, transparent jizz, maybe you need to wank less, find a new hobby and give your wiener a rest.

Name: lynn
Gender:
Age: 18
Location: florida
i am virgin but can you ever be to tight and will my first time hurt really bad and will i ever be able to just go at it!!!!

You’re in luck, darlin’! Check it out: If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another! You’ll see that I’ve already answered your question.

Name: Alexd.jpg
Gender: Male
Age: 19
Location: canada
how can I cum faster

Faster than what…a speeding bullet? What’s the rush, I wonder?

I suppose if you really wanted to get off in a hurry, you could stick a vibrating dildo in your ass as you stroke. That’ll surely do the trick.

Name: jone
Gender:
Age: 25
Location: bridgenorth
I have just started dating a lovely guy where the sexual attraction is emense! he switches me on like a light and i cant get enough, but when it gets down to it- it lasts averagly five mins. im well aware i may be being fussy but, i love sex! and really want go for ages with him. the other nite i couldnt hide my disapointment- he knew but i wouldnt say. im frustrated but dont want to hurt his feeling, im a nimfo but he has such good qualitys. what do you think i should do?

FUSSY? When your fuck sessions only last five minutes?? You’re no nympho, doll, but you do have the patience of a saint. Listen up, skip trying to spare your guy possible hurt feelings and tell him the truth. You’ll be doing him (and yourself) a big favor. He needs to attend to his short fuse ASAP, and you can help.

Lasting longer is a relatively easy thing for any man — gay, straight, whatever — to accomplish. Have your guy simply follow one or another of the following techniques. He may want to start this process on his own, but then the two of you can work together.

If your guy is like most men, his wank sessions are speedy little affairs. Squeezing off a quick one just to relieve sexual tension is a good thing in some instances. But years of this same behavior will habituate a guy’s body to having a very short fuse, if ya know what I mean. If his body is sensitized to cumin’ quickly like when he’s jerkin’-off just relieve tension, then that’s how it’ll respond later, when he’s with you. No big mystery there.

I suggest that he begin his effort to last longer by fundamentally changing his self-pleasuring activity. Most, if not all, of his masturbation from now on should be dedicated to full body masturbation. The purpose of this kind of masturbation is to play with and move around the sexual energy that builds up as he pulls his pud. The object here is to delay, for as long as he can, having an orgasm.

What the hell is full-body masturbation, you ask? Well it’s pretty simple really. He’s gonna be moving the sexual energy from his stiff cock all over the rest of his body. Since this is a sexual enhancement exercise, and not just a means of getting off, he’s gonna have to dedicate some time to this effort. I instruct the men I see in my private practice to allot 30 minutes a day three times a week for these exercises. If your guy can’t see his way to spend that kind of time to overcome his premature ejaculation concerns, he’s not really all that motivated to change. And if that’s the case, you’ll just need to move on.

squeeze03.jpgHere’s what I want him to do. I want him to touch and pleasure his whole body while he’s stroking his cock. He is to make the pleasure last as long as he can. He may even want to incorporate a vibrating toy into this exercise. As he reaches the point where he feels an ejaculation is near, he is to stop stroking his dick and play with some other part of his body, tits, asshole, feet, etc. When the urge to cum subsides, he can start to stroke again. I want him to do this over and over till he can last the full 30 minutes.

Remember, the object here, I mean besides the joy of touching and pleasuring his whole body, is to retrain his sexual response cycle. If he practices this method conscientiously it will increase his sexual stamina. He will also have learned a swell way to extend your partnered sex play too.

Check it out! When you guys are having sex, I want the two of you to do the same thing as when he’s masturbating. Spread that sexual energy around. Don’t just focus on his dick. Concentrate on building up his sexual tension, playing with that tension and stalling his orgasm. If you’re fucking and he’s getting close to shooting, have him pull out of penetration, turn his attention elsewhere — like your clit — till he regains control, then he can reinsert.

This is known as the “start and stop” method of lasting longer. Only my way of doing it insures that he will know more about his sexual response cycle from his own full body masturbation. His building sexual tension will not take him by surprise. He’ll also know what to do when he feels himself getting close. He’ll stop thrusting, but he won’t have to stop the sex all together. Rather he’ll seamlessly turn his attention to other pleasurable activities before he resumes the actual fuck.

After 30 minutes a day, three times a week for 2-6 weeks of the stop and start method he’ll notice a marked improvement in his sexual stamina. In time he’ll not even need to concentrate on his own sexual response cycle to keep up with you; it will be second nature to him. Kinda like learning to ride a bike.

Let’s review another technique, a couple-friendly method, called the squeezesqueeze1.jpg technique. I’ve introduced many a couple to this approach of prolonging pleasure with great success. The beauty part of this technique is that its success is dependent on good communication between the partners. And nothing serves good sex better than good communication.

Again, since this is a sexual enhancement exercise, and not just a clever new way of getting off, you and your partner will have to dedicate some time to mastering this method. Like the stop and start technique exercise above, allot at least 30 minutes a day three times a week. You can’t commit that kind of time to solving your problems? Okey dokey! Just don’t cum bellyachin’ to me.

Here’s what you’re gonna do. Your guy is going to be the passive recipient while you pleasure him. Like the previous exercise it’s all about gaining control over his sexual response cycle. Start by massaging his dick with a wet hand. Some nice lotion or lube works fine. You’ll want to spread his sexual energy around, not merely concentrating on his cock and balls. He’ll have to keep you posted on how close he is to cumming. When he feels he’s about to shoot, stop stroking his dick and squeeze his cock by wrapping your thumb and index finger around his unit at its base. Apply firm pressure, focusing on the urethra, the tube running along the underside of his johnson. Then let go, and wait for about 30 seconds before you resume. This applied pressure short-circuits the building tension and postpones the ejaculatory response. Simple!

Because it’s essential that you apply pressure a few strokes before he’s about to shoot, he’s gotta talk you through it the first few times. Soon you’ll begin to notice the signs of an impending ejaculation on your own and take the appropriate measures.

Most couples see a dramatic lessening of premature ejaculation in as little as two to six weeks of practice.

Name: DJ
Gender:
Age: 25
Location: TN
Is there life for a gay bottom after anal fissures? There is literally NO helpful advice on the internet for this issue. I had a rough boweldirtyjobs23.jpg movement a few years ago and now everytime I have another or practice in anal sex, it rips right back open and bleeds. This is gay hell!!

You’re clearly not giving your love cave a long enough time to heal before you go back to plunging whatever in there, thus reinjuring yourself. Stop doing that, why don’t cha?

If you think a little down time (even several weeks) from an anal fissure is agony, you don’t know what gay hell is, darlin’. Imagine if you keep this up and you develop an abscess — a very likely scenario — and you need surgery or worse, a colostomy. Then dear boy, you will really know a gay bottom’s hell.

Name: Paul
Gender:
Age: 34
Location: UK
I’ve had several bouts of cock and anal warts which have now cleared but have read my chances of cancer have increased? Is this true??

Ahhh, your genital warts have cleared up? On their own?? I seriously doubt that. And what about this “several bouts” thing? What’s up with that? Either you’re not having this condition properly taken care of, or you are being really reckless about your sexual partners.

If you’re not having a physician attend to your warts, you’re not being treated properly. Sometimes the warts themselves — they look like small, flesh-colored bumps or have a cauliflower-like appearance — will seem to disappear on their own, but they’re not really gone. The virus that causes them remains and without proper medical treatment there will be another outbreak.

The virus that causes genital warts — the human papillomavirus (HPV) — is associated with cervical cancer, for sure. There may also be a link to other types of genital cancers, such as cancer of the penis. But do you really want to fool around with this till you become a statistic?

There are more than 100 different types of HPV, but only a few can cause genital warts. These strains of the virus are highly contagious and spread through sexual contact with an infected person. About two-thirds of people who have sexual contact with someone who has genital warts develop the condition — usually within three months of contact, but in some cases not for years.

One of the most effective treatments is freezing the warts with liquid nitrogen (cryotherapy).

Name: calvin14jamesd5-18-03soft.jpg
Gender:
Age: 18
Location: california
My foreskin is too tight for me to pull it back. Is it a major problem? What can I do?

It’s not a major problem. And you’re in luck, darlin’! Check it out: Too Much of One Thing and Not Enough of Another! You’ll see that I’ve already answered this question.

Good luck ya’ll!

The Cone

REVIEW #2

Guess what, sex fans? I am the proud owner of my very own “The Cone” (C030) $129.00. And oh jeez, my life is never gonna be the same.

I am now the envy of all my friends — both the male and female variety — since the hot pink pyramid shaped package arrived on my doorstep. (Actually the hot pink pyramid shaped package arrived encased in a nondescript brown cardboard box, but you get the idea, right?)c030.jpg

I purposely left the pastel pink cone shaped object sitting nonchalantly on my desk for the past 10 days. Without fail it caught the eye of everyone who passed through Dr Dick’s office/salon/café/crash pad. “What the hell is that?” You’re kidding!” Really? “Get outta here!” “Oh My God, can I try it?” And so it went day after day.

I fond myself repeating the mantra — “It’s an innovative sex toy! – It’s pop art! – It’s my new BFF! — It’s three things in one!”

My hat is off to the developers of this unique unisex toy. You can tell right away that the folks who created this little wonder have a profound appreciation for sexual pleasure, as well as a joyful sense of playful fun. This kind of synergy can and apparently does turn the sex toy industry on its head. Bravo!

Ok, so what exactly is The Cone? Primarily, it is a hands-free battery-operated vibrator, don’t cha know. And that, sex fans, allows you to be pretty gal-darn creative in how you use the bugger. In fact, its unique design practically begs you to come up with clever new use or two every time you use it. I know of what I speak! I came up with one really good one. But I’m getting a little ahead of myself.

It has a sixteen-function 3000-rpm gold brush motor. It is both powerful and quiet. (Believe me, once you have at this thing, you will be making all the noise, not it.) It has a soft high-quality pink silicone skin. Its about seven inches in diameter at the base, five inches high, and weighs just over a pound. It has two push button controls. Simply put, there is nothing discreet about it, folks! Everything about it screams: “I’m here. I’m pink. Get used to it!

The Cone requires 3 “C” batteries. Unfortunately, the first set of batteries is not included in the package. I tell you this because I don’t want you to get all bummed out when you whip it out, for the first time, hoping to hop on for a ride only to discover you don’t have the proper batteries on hand.

Even though this isn’t an insertable device (That is, unless your hole looks like the Arc de Triomphe in Paris.), you’ll want to use a good personal lube to keep The Cone’s silicone skin from chafing your naughty parts. Just make sure you use a non-silicone lube though, or you’ll ruin the blasted thing.

Like I said, The Cone has sixteen different vibrating programs — from mild to “Whoa Nelly! I suggest you take your time and cycle through the different vibe patterns to find the ones you like best. Here’s a tip: the on/off switch doubles as an ‘Instant Orgasm’ button, which revs the thing up to fever pitch in an instant. This is apparently for all those folks out there who are just too damned busy to cum like a normal person.

For the uninitiated, the pointy cone shape may be intimidating. But relax there’s no need to worry; The Cone’s peak is soft and spongy. It’s sorta the consistency of a very stiff dick. You can sit on this baby, lean on it, lie on it or plop it in your lap. You can use it alone, or with a partner. Just don’t be surprised if your partner tries to monopolize The Cone. If you have girl parts, The Cone is ideal for your pussy, clit and taint (perineum). If you have boy parts, The Cone is perfect for your cock, balls and taint. And everyone’s asshole will sing for joy when The Cone comes knockin’ at the back door.

The Cone’s silicone skin is nonporous, which means bacteria cannot penetrate it. That makes it a breeze to clean. Just wipe it down with a mild soap and warm water after each use. To sterilize — remove the silicone skin from the unit and swish it in boiling water for a couple of minutes. Of course when you replace the skin, ya gotta realign it on the unit properly or you will not be able to find the operating buttons. But whatever you do, don’t immerse The Cone itself in water.

Full review HERE

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