Search Results: Clit

You are browsing the search results for clit

Holiday Gift Giving Guide, WEEK 3

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday again and this is Week 3 of our 3rd annual Holiday Gift Giving Guide.

This week we welcome back two of our favorite retailers, who always send us delightful goodies to review.

First up, a uniquely shaped butt plug from Vibrator.com. They are the purveyors of fine sex toys. Dr Dick Review Crew member, Carlos, shows us around.

Tantus Dipper —— $31.00

Carlos
I’ve been following my fellow Review Crew member’s comments about the Tantus products we’ve received for review. You can see these reviews HERE.  I’ve been hoping to get a crack at one of these beauties myself. So when Dr Dick asked me if I wanted to review the Tantus Dipper I jumped at the opportunity.

I am a huge fan of butt plugs and, over the years, I’ve collected a nice selection of prostate stimulators that I take for a ride at least a couple of times a week. Sometime I wear one or another of them for hours at a time. I love going shopping with one in my ass. The tedium of grocery shopping becomes a fun outing. I have huge smile on my face and everyone wonders why I’m so cheerful. If they only knew!

The Tantus Dipper is the perfect tool for your honey pot. And it’s a doubleheader too. You can use either end! One end is shaped like a honey dipper with loads of ridges. The other end is spherical and it pops into my ass like a single anal bead. Between the two ends is the traditional butt plug notch, a narrow neck, that allows my sphincter muscles to clap down on it, keeping whatever end I have in my hole safely in place. PERFECT!
Full Review HERE!

And now a couple toys from our friends at Adult Sex Toys .com. First, here’s Dr Dick Review Crew member, Denise.

Roulette High Roller —— $73.41

Denise
Damn, the Roulette High Roller is pink! Not your pastel pink either; more like your shockingly crazy day-glo-pink variety. Pink is not my favorite color, by a long shot, but I didn’t let the color of the Roulette High Roller get in the way of me enjoying this delightful vibe. You shouldn’t let the color get in the way either.

The Roulette High Roller has just about everything I look for in a vibrator. There is a nice texture to the beautifully soft silicone shaft. It’s waterproof! And it has a pinwheel device that adjusts the variable vibration speed. There are no vibration patterns. But from my point of view, having a bunch of vibration modes is completely overrated. Give me a good strong steady vibration, and I’m a happy gal. And the more simple the controller the better. What gives with all the elaborate control panels on vibes these days? When I use a vibrator I want to get off, I don’t want to go to the moon!

The Roulette High Roller is mighty quite too.

Because the Roulette High Roller is silicone, it’s nonporous, phthalates-free, hypoallergenic and latex-free. It’s also brilliantly easy to clean — mild soap and water will do, or wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution, rubbing alcohol or peroxide. Because it’s waterproof, you don’t have to worry about submerging it in soapy water for a thorough cleaning. This is really important to me. I’m very leery about insertable toys you can’t thoroughly clean. The Roulette High Roller comes packaged in its own reusable plastic storage box too. Good thinking, Evolved Novelties!
Full Review HERE!

Finally Dr Dick Review Crew member, Christa, has a Fun Factory vibe to show us.

Fun Factory’s Layaspot —— $57.53

Christa
This is the Layaspot by Fun Factory. It’s a sweet looking little vibe perfect for clit stimulation. It has a kick-ass ergonomic shape that straddles my mons for some hands-free pleasuring. The business end of the vibe is in the wider end, but I can feel the vibration throughout the whole vibe. This wider, flatter end fits up against my clit nicely and delivers a great full genital massage. And I don’t even have to move it around.

There are two buttons on the spine of the vibe; one marked + and one marked —. These regulate the eight levels of vibration and three pulsation modes. I found operating these little buttons a problem. Turning it on and off isn’t particularly difficult, but it takes a lot of finger strength to keep the buttons depressed long enough to switch the vibrations modes. I didn’t like that.

The unit is only 4” long, made of a hard plastic with a softer skid-resistant coating. The package says it is phthalates free, hypoallergenic and latex free. The Layaspot is powered by a couple of AAA –batteries. But getting into the battery compartment is if bitch. Who designed this, some he-man? I wound up having to use my mother’s jar opener to open the Layaspot. Closing it properly is also a challenge. I thought I had it right till the plastic battery compartment top popped off during use. D’oh! Ok, so that was my fault.

The Layaspot is not waterproof; they say it’s splash proof. What exactly does splash proof really mean anyhow? It tells me the manufacturer couldn’t bother to make a watertight seal on the toy, that’s what it says to me. I figure a toy is either waterproof or it’s not. Splash proof shouldn’t be a selling point, IMHO. Listen, maybe this isn’t a big thing for others, but it is for me. Not just in terms of use, but also in terms of cleaning. A vibe that costs near $60 should, I think, be waterproof. That is if you ask me.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

Holiday Gift Giving Guide, WEEK 2

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday again and this is Week 2 of our 3rd annual Holiday Gift Giving Guide.

This week we welcome back two manufacturers we’ve reviewed before — Digital Playground and System JO. To view the previous reviews for these two companies, just search for their names using the search function in the header.

JO H2O Flavored Sweet Pomegranate —— $15.07
JO H2O Flavored Tangerine Dream —— $15.07

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “Gosh, it’s been a whole month since Kevin and I posted a review. Where does the time go?”
Kevin: “And we’ve back at it with a bang too, because we have a couple of nice personal lubes to tell you about. They are flavored water-based lubes from System JO. I have no idea what that name means, but the lubes we have are great.”
Gina: “I can’t figure out the name either, nor have I ever heard of this company before. But it is clear that they know what they are doing, both in terms of product development and packaging.”
Kevin: “The two flavors we have to show you today are — H2O Flavored Sweet Pomegranate and H2O Flavored Tangerine Dream. They are just two of the half dozen or so flavors available.”
Gina: “These fruity flavored lubes are all latex safe (think condoms) and non-staining. They hold up really well in terms of consistency, even with vigorous use. I didn’t notice any stickiness or tackiness, which is often the downfall of other water-based lubes we’ve tried. You should also know that both of these products contain parabens and glycerin. Now, that’s not a problem for me necessarily, but I know that a lot of other people want, and often must, avoid these dubious ingredients. If you are one such person, you’ll need to avoid these products.”
Kevin: “I was impressed with the taste of each, which kind of surprised me. I’m not one for flavored stuff that masks the raw taste of sex. But, like I said, these were fine; although the Sweet Pomegranate is really sweet. There wasn’t any cloying after taste though. Maybe that’s because these products don’t contain artificial sweeteners.”
Gina: “Yeah, sweeteners in a lube would be a disaster. Just think of the yeast infections. Like I said above, I really like the packaging. It’s playful and stylish all at the same time. And the packages are color-coded to match the flavor.”
Kevin: “I liked the unique pop-top lid. It makes for easy one-handed use. That probably doesn’t sound like a big thing, but it is. I hate having to totally interrupt the action just to handle a bottle of lube.”
Full Review HERE!

JO Premium Women —— $22.39
JO H2O Women —— $11.66

Joy & Dixie
Joy: “We’re back with two more amazing products from the System JO people. You probably saw the reviews we did just a couple of weeks ago for their Clitoral Gel, right?”
Dixie: “I should mention from the start of this review that both Joy and I are total lube snobs. I figure ya gotta be since there is so much questionable stuff on the market these days.”
Joy: “Absolutely! Listen, folks you need some standards when it comes to products that you will use on and IN your body. You certainly don’t want to be at the mercy of unscrupulous manufacturers. Be informed and choose your products wisely; it’s the only way to protect yourself.”
Dixie: “The two products we have today are very similar. The JO Premium Women is a silicone-based lubricant; the JO H2O Women is the water-based product. Both were developed for women by women and contain vegetable-based glycerin as opposed to animal-based glycerin. This should waylay any concerns some might have about yeast infections associated with animal-based glycerin.”
Joy: “While we’re on the topic of ingredients, I should point out that the JO H2O Women product contains parabens. Again, some women may be sensitive to that. Parabens, as you may know, are preservatives and you can’t have a water-based lube without some kind of preservative, because it will go bad.”
Dixie: “What’s so remarkable about both the JO Premium Women and the JO H2O Women is that they both feel so much alike. Both are very slick and slippery. Both feel like silicone. The JO Premium Women for obvious reasons, it is silicone-based after all. But the JO H2O Women is nearly identical in its consistency. And both last and last.”
Full Review HERE!

Pirates Pendant Vibe – Black —— $19.99

Karen
When I got home from Dr Dick’s with our monthly allotment of review products I was arranging the booty on the dining room table when my partner, Jack, came in the room. “Look what we scored this time,” I proudly announced as I waved my hand over all the goodies. The only thing I was unclear on was the Pirates Pendant Vibe. I mean, I understood the pendant vibe part; I just couldn’t figure out the pirate part. Jack had to tell me about the Digital Playground movie series, Pirates.”

Ok, I confess, porn is not my thing; I’ve never really been interested. But that’s fine, because Jack consumes enough porn for the both of us. And apparently, from the way he went on and on about Pirates, it’s one of his favorites.

While I can’t be accused of being a fan of the movies, I do count myself among the fans of the Pirates Pendant Vibe. It’s a kicky little bullet vibe that doubles as a pendent jewelry. Once Jack filled me in on the theme of the movies, I understood the fun pirate designs that decorate the vibe.

It is remarkably quiet, very discreet and attractive in its own way. The vibe has multiple vibration patterns, five to be precise. And you cycle through them with the one-touch button situated at the top of the vibe. It is amazing on my clit.
Full Review HERE!

Janine’s Pirates Cove Rocket —— $34.99

Jada
I’ve never seen any of the Digital Playground Pirates movies, so the packaging for Janine’s Pirates Cove Rocket was pretty much lost on me. Don’t get me wrong; it’s stylish and the model on the cover, Janine, in her pirate rig is very sexy and not in an off-putting way either.

The Pirates Cove Rocket is also attractive. It’s molded from what appears to be hard plastic, but it has a cream-colored coating on it that makes it pleasantly soft to the touch. I couldn’t find any information on the materials used in this product either on the package or the Digital Playground website. However, the package does say that it is phthalate free.

In keeping with the theme, the Pirates Cove Rocket is decorated with an abundance of what looks like those temporary tattoos you sometimes see in the stores. Of course, the images include a traditional scull and crossbones, an anchor and crossed pirate sabers, but there’s also hearts, a fish, flowers and stars. It’s a very busy design that will, no doubt, appeal to some. The base of the vibe is encrusted with rhinestones to further the pirate treasure theme, I guess.

The Pirates Cove Rocket is powered by two C-batteries, which are not included in the package. This adds a nice heft to the vibe and also makes for a more powerful vibration that lasts for a longer time than what smaller sized batteries could offer. The Pirates Cove Rocket also has three speeds and two variable vibrations. I confess to being impressed with the level of vibration, but the one button operation, at the base of the vibe, leaves a great deal to be desired. They’ve thoughtfully included a black satin storage/travel pouch too. It’s the kind of special touch you’d find with a more expensive vibrator, so I thought it was interesting that the manufacturer decided to go the distance with this product.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

Treasure Trove

Hey sex fans,

Another edition of Product Review Friday is coming your way. Today, besides having a bunch of great products to tell you about, we welcome a new manufacturer to our review family. I’m delighted to introduce you to System JO, the company behind the products we review for you today.

Dr Dick Review Crew members, Joy & Dixie and yours truly, me, Dr Dick, will do the honors

System JO Men Adrenaline Shaving Cream —— $11.42

Dr Dick
I have the pleasure of introducing you to a fantastic new shaving product from the good people at System JO. It’s their Adrenaline Shaving Cream for men. This stuff is so cool. It comes out of the handsomely designed plastic squeeze bottle with the pop-up dispenser in the lid, as a gel. At first I thought there was some mistake. The package says “cream”, but look, it’s actually a gel. I began to rub the droplet I dispensed in my left palm with the tip of my fingers in my right hand. Miraculously, the gel turns into this very fine slick cream. It is so slick and fine that I didn’t need to more than a few drops to make enough cream to cover my entire beard. Damn, this stuff is phenomenal, I thought to myself. But the proof of a good shave cream, at least to my mind, is in the shave itself, not merely in the consistency of the product.

As I discovered with my very first use that Adrenaline Shaving Cream excels in delivering a close comfortable shave. I have pretty sensitive skin, but I didn’t experience any irritation when using Adrenaline Shaving Cream and my skin felt fantastic after each use. Like I said, a small amount covers a large area and it coats my skin nicely. Unlike all those dense shaving foams out there , this product allows your razor will glide along effortlessly. It won’t clog your razor and it rinses off your razor easily.

If you’re prone to razor burn, ingrown hairs and/or shaving bumps Adrenaline Shaving Cream is the ideal product for you. It’s enhanced with aloe vera, but it also contains parabens and glycerin.  If you have concerns about these ingredients, you may need to look elsewhere.

I’m happy I got the unscented formula for review, because that would have been my preference. However it also comes in cucumber and musk scents. There is also a companion line of shave cream for women.
Full Review HERE

System JO Men Deodorant With Pheromone —— $13.80

Dr Dick
Next up is the Men Deodorant With Pheromone. This product comes in a distinctive roll-on container. Do you remember when most all deodorants came in roll-on form? I do and I really miss having them around. Nowadays, it’s mostly messy gels and chalky sticks that don’t appeal to me all that much. I also don’t like that almost all deodorants these days have an intense scent to them. If I want to wear a scent I’ll chose my own, thank you very much.

So right off the bat Men Deodorant With Pheromone has a lot of the competition beat. It is a very effective deodorant, by the way. And that’s what I judge a deodorant by; it’s effectiveness at preventing body odor.

Now, Men Deodorant With Pheromone is different from the other deodorants you’ll likely find on your local store’s shelves in as much as it contains Androstenl.  The System JO website says this is a potent natural attractant that provokes a strong sexual response. OK, but how does one go about testing such a thing, I asked myself.

I first used Men Deodorant With Pheromone after I had taken a shower one day. It applies very easily, there is no staining, no running, no dripping, no chalky mess and there’s no discernible scent. I left the bathroom to dress myself. I sat on the bed to put on my socks and suddenly my dog, Ginger, jumps up on the bed and makes a beeline for my armpits. She seemed to be unable to get enough of the thing she was trying to smell. I started to laugh and just as suddenly as she was on the bed, she was off. Once on the floor she vigorously shook her head, flapping here ears and then sneezed. This is very unusual behavior for her. But then again, she’s a hunting dog, so she’s all nose.

Clearly there was something in the Men Deodorant With Pheromone that I was unable to detect, but that Ginger was wild for. It had to be the Men Deodorant With Pheromone, because she’s never exhibited that kind of behavior with any other deodorant I’ve ever used.
Full Review HERE

System JO Mild Clitoral Gel —— $18.25
System JO Wild Clitoral Gel —— $19.12

Joy & Dixie
Joy: “We’re going to review two products at once. The reason for this is that both products are basically the same thing with one important difference.”
Dixie: “The two products are: System JO Mild Clitoral Gel and Wild Clitoral Gel. You can probably guess that the important difference that Joy mentioned is intensity of the stimulation. By the way they also have ‘Light’ and an ‘Atomic’ version of the same product.”
Joy: “Both of the products boost sensation when applied to your clit. The active ingredient appears to be peppermint; so at least it a natural product. I’m very reluctant to apply something full of chemicals to my joy-spot. The peppermint also gives the products a mild minty fragrance.”
Dixie: “Joy’s joy-spot! Isn’t she clever? I guess I’d have to call mine; Dixie’s delicious-spot. Whatever you call your clit this Clitoral Gel will get your motor purrin’ real nice. The object, of course is to get the one that works best for you. We both tried each product. We both began by rubbing a couple of drops of the Mild Clitoral Gel directly to our clits. Then we waited for it to produce the promised warming and cooling sensation that tingles. Nothing much happened that either Joy or I could notice. We both looked at each other and kind of sighed. Are our clits that desensitized, we wondered? Could be, we guessed.”
Joy: “So we tried the Wild Clitoral Gel next. We applied the same amount in the same way as the first test. This time, BINGO! We both could feel the sensations within a minute, both warming and cooling. The peppermint was doing its thing. None of this is overwhelming in any sense of the word. Nor is it a particularly long lasting effect, which is a good thing. I wouldn’t want to be feeing this kind of sensation for too long.”
Dixie: “Both the Mild Clitoral Gel and Wild Clitoral Gel are silicone-based, which makes for a very nice silky texture, much like a silicone-based lube. This, however, brings one word of warning to mind. If you are using either of these products with a silicone toy, like a vibrator, be sure to sheath your toy in a condom first. There’s minimal packaging, which I really appreciate. The small tube containing the gel is inside a simple paper package that is recyclable.”
Full Review HERE

ENJOY

And they’re off!

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday once again and today we have two very delightful toys to tell you about. Because the two toys come from different retailers, I will be introducing each in turn.

First up is a fun new product for a couple to enjoy. It comes to us from our new friends at The Adult Toy Shoppe.

Dr Dick Review Crew member, Angie, does the honors.

Erotic Enhancer Bunny —— $21.99

Angie
I am so delighted to find a toy that both my husband and I can enjoy while we are enjoying one each other. I think that even though the is a plethora of vibrating toys on the market, few are actually designed to be enjoyed by a couple during intercourse. Dildos, particularly the ones that have the shape of a penis are wonderful for solo play, but they can get in the way, both literally and figuratively, when a couple plays together. This is the case with my husband. He, like most men, is put off by sex toys that have a realistic shape. I suppose I don’t blame him. I’m sure that if the shoe were on the other foot, so to speak, I wouldn’t welcome a sex toy that realistically looks like a woman’s parts in our play together.

At the same time, I need clitoral stimulation if I am going to be orgasmic. This is particularly true during intercourse. So the problem has always been, how do I get the clitoral stimulation I need during intercourse without the use of a traditional clunky, intrusive and noisy vibrator?

Allow me to introduce you to the Erotic Enhancer Bunny. It’s a bunny-shaped cockring that vibrates. How fun and creative!

The Erotic Enhancer Bunny is made of TPR (Thermoplastic Rubber). It’s a phthalate free material that is both soft and stretchy but also durable. I see nothing on the package that says it’s latex free, so those with a latex allergy should beware.

There is a multispeed bullet vibe in the head of the bunny that is powered by 3 mini batteries, you know the flat kind. The manufacturer thoughtfully included the first set in the package. Thank you very much! You adjust the speed and turn the vibe on and off by using the dial on the vibrator. The bullet is easily removed making the bunny-shaped cockring a breeze to clean. More about that in a moment.

I love the fact that the Erotic Enhancer Bunny is waterproof. And that it transforms my husband’s beautiful penis into a rabbit vibe. I couldn’t be happier.

The whole thing is pretty discreet. It measures 1.75 inches across and 3.25 inches tall. My husband says that the ring is mighty snug on him. He found it uncomfortable after 20 minutes. That was long enough for me, but he specifically asked me to tell you that the Erotic Enhancer Bunny is designed for use by a man with a small to medium endowment. Ok, I defer to him on this. I suppose that’s a problem with a one size fits all concept.
Full Review HERE!

Next we hear from Review Crew members, Mick & Chuck. They are going to introduce you to kinky little setup from the newest retailer to join our review family. Join with me in welcoming TheirToys.com a nice place to shop for Adult Toys.

Cockring and Leash Set —— $29.95

Mick & Chuck
Mick: “The Cockring and Leash Set came to us just in time for Halloween. And we put it to very good use.”
Chuck: “Yeah, but it’s not just a Halloween gimmick now, is it?”
Mick: “Right! You can use the Cockring and Leash Set Set any day of the year — Christmas, New Years Eve, Valentines Day, Arbor Day, the 4th of July, your pervy boyfriend’s birthday, whatever.”
Chuck: “Ok, I see you’ve decided to be a little wacky today.”
Mick: “The Cockring and Leash Set is such a fun and kinky setup; I think a little wacky is in order, don’t you?”
Chuck: “I guess you’re right. So let’s get on with telling our audience what the Cockring and Leash Set is, ok?”
Mick: “Sure! It’s pretty simple actually. There are two parts. First, there’s an adjustable black leather cockring, or strap, if you prefer. There is a D-ring on the strap to which you hook on the fine metal leash. The metal leash has a black leather loop grip.”
Chuck: “The Cockring and Leash Set is a KinkLab product, so you know it’s gonna be good.”
Mick: “Oh yeah! Listen, if you’re interested in buying a kinky product like this, even if you are new to kink; spare yourself the disappointment of buying any of the crap that is floating around out there. We’ve see more than our share of that shit here at the Review Crew. If you want quality, look for a quality brand, like KinkLab.”
Chuck: “Right on! So I was saying that we had a ball with this Cockring and Leash Set for Halloween, right? Well, here’s how it went down. We were invited to a totally tripped out party that we knew would surely turn into an orgy before the night was through.”
Mick: “And we were not disappointed. Chuck dared me to wear the cock strap under this flimsy rawhide loincloth, which was pretty much the totality of my costume.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

The Self-Sexological Exam

No podcast today; instead there’s this…

The Ballad of Sylvie

Hi, my name is Sylvie. I’m 24 and I’ve been sexually active for three year, but I’ve never had an orgasm…at least not that I know of. I hear my friends talk about their orgasms and I know I should talk to them, but I don’t want them to know. Do you think there’s something wrong with me?

Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard this complaint over the years, I’d be a wealthy man. Even in this day and age where sexual messages permeate the popular culture, there are still some women who are unversed about orgasms and their own bodies.

However, I almost never hear this from men. Sure, our sexual response cycle is more obvious. When we’re at attention, we’re at attention. I often wonder what the world would be like if men had as hard a time getting off as some women do.…

But let’s begin with dispelling the notion that there may be something wrong with you. There isn’t. You do, however, fall into a category we in the biz call “pre-orgasmic.” The idea is that you’re going to be orgasmic one day—you’ve just not accomplished it yet.

And I’m gonna assume a couple of things, even though I think it’s really dangerous to make assumptions in this line of work: 1. You’ve never had an orgasm, because you’d sure as hell know it if ya had. 2. You are sexually active with male partners.

I’m going out on this limb because I absolutely never hear from pre-orgasmic lesbians. And it stands to reason—lesbians tend to be more attuned to their bodies, and they certainly know their way around the bodies of their partners. But I digress.

Orgasms don’t come easily for some women. I suppose there are as many reasons for this as there are pre-orgasmic women. A woman’s pleasure center (her clit) is more subtle and less obvious than a man’s raging boner. Women are socialized about sexuality—even nowadays—in a much different way then men are. Men have more cultural permissions to be sexually adventuresome than do women. And, truth be told, men have never needed any permission to get themselves off!

The Ballad of Amy

Case in point: When I was just beginning my practice, a young couple, Joel and Amy, visited me with this very issue. As I’d soon learn, Joel considered himself a top-notch cocksmith. He was fond of saying that he could reduce any woman to blubbering jelly with either his mouth or his magic wand. But Joel was completely flummoxed to discover that the love of his life was immune to his sexual prowess—so he hauled the little woman in for my diagnosis.

Amy, for her part, squirmed with discomfort. I thought she’d absolutely die as Joel detailed the explicit intimacies of their lovemaking. I knew I’d get nowhere with Amy while Joel was there, so I told him to take a hike while she and I had a chat.

I first asked Amy about the early messages she got about her body. She thought for a moment and answered: “I don’t know if this is what you mean, but one of my earliest recollections is my mother teaching me to wash myself. I must have been no more than 3 or 4. She began by telling me I should wash my body like we washed dishes. First and foremost, I was to attend to my hair, my face and my hands—like we would first wash the fine crystal and silverware—because they would be what would attract a husband. Then I was to wash the rest of my body. Finally, at the end of the bath, I should wash my genitals…but only with a different cloth than the one I used on the rest of me…just like we washed the pots and pans.”

This unearthed memory startled Amy. Even though she hadn’t thought about it for years, she realized she continued to wash herself in the same manner to that very day. And she followed that revelation with one equally astonishing. She told me that once she reached puberty, her mother took her aside for “The Big Talk.” Menstruation and all the embarrassment and confusion that came with it added to the “pot and pan” imagery. As to her genitals, her mother said: “You must save that for the one you love and will marry.”

“This dirty part, this thing that’s cursed with a monthly unclean bloodletting was supposed to be SAVED for the man of my dreams. YUCK! Why?”

Poor Amy! She was a tangle of mixed messages. No wonder she was pre-orgasmic. No wonder fucking Joel, despite her love for him, was a teeth-clenching chore. No wonder his begging to eat her pussy was met with, “Oh, please don’t!”

There was a lot of work to be done, but she was eager to begin.

We started her with journaling and a self-sexological exam. I instructed Amy to get a hand mirror and a detailed diagram of female genitalia. She was to familiarize herself and make friends with her estranged pussy. Her exam would entail a touch-test. Every square inch from her anus to her navel was to be tested for sensitivity. I suggested she draw pictures of herself and color them to represent the levels of sensitivity: red being the hottest and most pleasurable areas; blue being more neutral, and all the colors in-between. I encouraged her to try this exercise first with a dry hand, then a wet hand using a personal lubricant. I encouraged her to spend at least 30 minutes a day for three consecutive days. She had a lot of reacquainting to do.

And this was to be private time. Joel was not to be invited.

On the forth day, if she was ready, she could invite Joel to join her. No pressure; just a suggestion. But whenever she was ready to invite Joel, he could only attend as a guest, NOT a participant. Joel was only to receive the royal tour of Amy’s fabulous cunt. She was to show Joel her drawings, and once the show was over, that was it. No fucking, no sucking, no nothing—this was only to be an exhibition.

Poor Joel was beside himself. He couldn’t see the logic of him not being involved. I had to impress upon him that this was Amy’s work—not his. And if he just held on to that magic johnson of his, he’d be back with an orgasmic Amy in no time—but he had to be patient.

When next we were together, Amy shared her artwork with me. I could tell right away from pictures she’d drawn and colored that she’d found her clit. Amy was extremely pleased with her “newfound” pussy. She was eager to take it to the next level.

The following week’s play would include a vibrator. Amy was to buy the one she wanted, take it home and introduce it to her pussy. Using the pictures she’d created, she was to throw it into first gear and start making small, lazy circles around the blue areas, working her way to the bright red areas. She was to do this privately for 30 minutes for three consecutive days or until there was a breakthrough.

I knew this wouldn’t take long, and it didn’t. The very next day, I got the anticipated phone call. Amy was breathless.

“Holy shit, I did it!” She exclaimed. “I saw stars—the earth moved and I made so much noise that Joel came running into the room. He thought I’d somehow hurt myself. He stood there stunned as I threw myself another screaming me-me.” I loved the way she already had a name for her orgasms…screaming me-me’s.

And that’s how Amy went from pre-orgasmic to I totally know how to give myself a big fat juicy orgasm in a matter of a couple of weeks.

The Ballad of Becoming Presently Orgasmic

Now let’s review for you, Sylvie. The basic formula for achieving an orgasm is acquainting yourself with your pussy. Map out all the points of interest. Find out what feels good, and repeat it. The object of this first step is not to stress about having an orgasm—it’s all about reconnecting with your body.

The more you know about yourself, the better you’re gonna be at slamming yourself a “screamin’ me-me”. Knowing your way around your pussy is also helpful in partnered sex, especially if your partner doesn’t know shit from Shinola about your pussy.

Step two is masturbation. You may have tried before without success. This time, thanks to step one, you’ll better know your hot spots. I’m a big fan of full body masturbation. So while you’re diddling, be sure to spread the sexual energy all over your body—tits, ass, feet, mouth, whatever you like—stroke, pinch, pat, massage, and rub yourself all over. Vary your breathing, gyrate your hips, listen to sexy music, rent some porn, watch yourself in a mirror, or throw in some Kegel exercises. Try a wet hand. Play with yourself in the bath. Hell, dance around naked with a jewel in your navel…whatever it takes.

Like Amy, many women experience their first orgasm with the help of a vibrator. I encourage you to experiment with one—or try another sex toy.

Be sure to keep a journal during this exploratory period. This will help you later to bridge the gap in communicating with your partners.

Good luck!