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Sophia Wallace on CLITERACY

Clitter!

Seedling

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday! This week we continue with more of the Zini product line. You are following these reviews, right? If not, I suggest that you do because we have been mighty impressed with what we have discovered so far. You can find all our reviews by going to drdicksextoyreviews.com, use the search function in the sidebar and type in “Zini.”

Today we have a mini vibe that is designed to enhance solo as well as couple play. Here is Dr Dick Review Crew member, Jada, to tell us all about it.

Zini Seed —— $99.99

Jada
I finally got a crack at one of the Zini toys. Luckily there are so many different products in their amazing line. I’m here to tell you about the Zini Seed. A curious name for a personal vibe, don’t you think? Well that’s what I thought too until I saw it for the first time. It looks like an exotic seedpod.product_seed_01

The Zini Seed is very petite, not even 4.5” long and just 1.25” wide. It’s available in three color combinations; mine is violet and black. It’s designed to deliver pinpoint stimulation where you want it — clit, nipples, you name it. It’s fits comfortably in your hand, which make it easy to direct the vibrations right where you want them to be. And best of all, it is rechargeable and waterproof.

I love it! It’s such a sweet little thing.

It’s so unobtrusive, that my husband welcomes it in our couple play. He likes to use it on me and he even turns it on himself from time to time. He chuckles as the buzzy vibrations, delivered to his penis through the soft and velvety silicone tip, tickle his fancy. Because the Seed is so diminutive, you shouldn’t expect it to have the same kind of rumbling vibrations a much larger vibe might deliver.

product_seed_04I love that we can laugh during our sex play. It wasn’t always like this. When we were first married I was so uptight and he was so macho. Our sex life was a chore. Being part of the Dr Dick Review Crew has brought us both out of our shell. When I started to bring home toys and other products, my husband wasn’t sure how he felt about it all. Happily, he now appreciates how enriching most have been to our sex life. He has come a long way and so have I. Now when I hear other women complain that their sex life is all work and no play I turn these women on to the reviews gathered here. I’m certain that this has saved more than one marriage.

First thing out of the box you’ll need to fully charge the Seed. It took me approximately 2 hours to fully charge, which provided me approximately 3 hours of use. The control panel lights up when charging and it changes color, from red to blue, when fully charged. The package I received had two types of recharging cables, one wall plug, albeit for a European outlet, and one USB cable. Obviously, I used the USB cable. The cable connects to the vibe via a port in its base. The port is then sealed by a plug, which creates a waterproof seal. I love that the Seed is waterproof. I know from reading some of the other Zini reviews that not all their product line is waterproof, so I’m so glad that mine is.

The three-button control panel is easy to use and understand. The “+” button turns on the vibe and accelerates the speed through its five settings. The “-” button decelerates the speed and turns off the vibe. The round button between the other two rotates through the 10 pulsation modes. Every press of the button makes the Zini Seed flash a different color. And it is remarkably quiet. One thing, and this isn’t a problem really, but because the Seed is so small the whole unit vibrates, although the silicone encased tip delivers the most intense and spot-on vibration. There is also a travel lock feature.

Because the business end of the Seed is hypoallergenic, latex free, non-porous, and phthalate-free silicone, you’ll need to use a water-based lube with it. As you probably know, a silicone-based lube would mar the surface of the vibe. At the same time, because the Seed is silicone and waterproof, cleaning it couldn’t be easier. Mild soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. But you can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize for sharing. And it should be shared!product_seed_06

The beautiful black presentation box is worthy of note. It is very elegant and it would make a fantastic gift even without further wrapping. All the packaging is recyclable. Zini clearly has an ecological conscience. The Seed lies nestled beneath a plastic bubble in a compartment just under the lid of the box. Now swing that compartment to the side and you will find another compartment containing the user manual, recharging cable, and a sweet storage pouch big enough for both the vibe and the cable. It’s really quite lovely.

Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

The Yin and Yang

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday! This week we feature yet another product from the creative minds at Zini.  I sure hope you are following these reviews because we’ve been thrilled by what has come our way so far. You can find all our reviews by going to drdicksextoyreviews.com, use the search function in the sidebar and type in “Zini.” Today we have a toy designed for couples. Alas, while I see this product offered on several online sites, I don’t see it available here in the good ol’ US of A, in fact, no where in North America. What a pity!

Here are Dr Dick Review Crew members, Ken & Denise, to tell us what’s on their mind.

Zini Duex —— $100+

Ken & Denise
Ken: “We have a great, new, award-winning product to tell you about today, but Denise and I are totally bummed that, despite our great review, only she and I have one, And you, if you live here in the United States, won’t be able to find one here.”zini-deux
Denise: “That’s right, I feel bad about telling you how much we liked the Zini Duex because it’s like…how does that old saying go…counting your money in front of the poor. That’s just cruel. Well maybe our review will help get the Zini line available, at least online, here in North America.”
Ken: “This is what we can tell you about the Zini Duex. It’s actually two vibes. The brilliant couple-oriented design invites playfulness and experimentation. And when I say couple, I don’t mean simply a male/female couple. And it is just as effective for solo play too. The super lightweight egg shape comes apart to offer two contoured Yin/Yang vibes. Magnets hold the egg together.”
Denise: “I found that the Zini Duex is best as part of foreplay, mainly because, as Ken just mentioned, it’s super playful. And isn’t that what is often missing in foreplay? I also love that it is rechargeable. Both of the Yin/Yang vibes recharge via a port on its bottom. A plastic plug covers the recharge port. But the plug does not create a waterproof seal, so sadly we couldn’t play with the Zini Duex in the bath. Oh, and there’s only one recharge cord per unit, which means you have to recharge each half of the egg separately. It’s no big deal, but it means twice the recharge time.”zini-deux-293x300
Ken: “The Zini Duex is made of ABS plastic, which is latex-free, nonporous, and phthalate-free. There’s a hard shell with a velvety inside. The ergonomic shape of each half of the egg fit beautifully in your hand and against your body cupping and cradling. A two-hour charge delivers four hours of pleasure. The indicator lights in both control panels alight when charging, changing color to indicate a full charge. The three-button controller is easy to use; there are five speeds and five vibration modes.”
Denise: “The vibrations are tingly and not particularly powerful. But then again, as I already mentioned, it’s best used to get yourself and your partner warmed up.”
Ken: “The convex (female) half of the toy has a sculptured bump designed to stimulate her clit, and carry the vibrations carry down the flared wings to stimulate her labia. The concave (male) half of the toy is designed to cup his balls while the pointy end stimulates his taint (perineum) or cockhead. But don’t stop there.  Think of all the other erogenous zones on your, or your partner’s body.”
Denise: “While you can’t submerge Zini Duex for cleaning, mild soap and warm water with a lint-free towel does just fine for everyday cleaning. But you can also wipe it down with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize.”en_deux_01_02
Ken: “I generally leave the discussion of the packaging to Denise, but I want to weigh in on this packaging. That’s because it’s so cool. It comes in an elegantly designed gift box. The vibe sits proudly under a plastic shield. The top of the box swings out from the base revealing the charger, user manual and chic drawstring storage/travel pouch.”
Denise: “It is a beautiful presentation, I must say. Apparently, this is signature Zini because everyone else on the Review Crew is making similar comments. And speaking of travel pouch, the Zini Duex is designed with a travel lock.”
Ken: “A word or two about the three button control panel. There’s a +, -, and O button. Press the + button to turn the toy on and escalate the vibrations, the – button reduces the intensity of the vibration, and O button changes the pulsation pattern. Getting the hang of the Zini Duex and putting it through its paces is part of the fun. And get this; if you place your half of the toy near your partner’s half, both halves pulsate to the same rhythm even if only one side was activated.”
Denise: “I found that if I used a couple of drops of lubricant on the velvety inside it made the Zini Duex slide more comfortably over my body. We used both water-based and silicone-based lube. My favorite is the silicone based.”
Ken: “We’re both super stoked about the Zini Duex. Everything about it — design, packaging, and performance impressed us. We both highly recommend it to you. It would make a great holiday gift too.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

Awakenings

And now for something completely different. I’d like to welcome my friend and colleague, Vivian Slaughter, who has some interesting things to say about becoming the brilliant young sexologist she is today.

Becoming a feminist was a big deal for me; in high school I was very anti-feminist, I was the Cool Girl, I didn’t like doing my hair and felt giddy when people told me I “wasn’t like other girls” (the today me would have snapped back: “What’s wrong with other girls? Who are these mythic other girls you speak of?”) I would smile cruelly at people when they used the term, laugh a wide-open mouthed, high-pitched laugh. “No,” I’d correct them. “I don’t hate men!” Then, I’d usually follow with something like, “I’m not a feminist, but I believe (in something that literally fits the definition of being a feminist).”

Vivian SlaughterWhen I packed up and moved further South for college I found myself drawn to a sexual health education group that presented interactive workshops on sexual assault, dating violence and enthusiastic consent. This was a sex positivity group. This was a feminist group. It was a hard transition, and my first term with my new colleagues left a bitter taste in my mouth. What was happening to me? I’d come home from our meetings and rant to my roommate. “Ugh, it’s like…I agree with everything they say but do we have to call ourselves feminists? No one is going to take us seriously!”

I hate to say that I had an epiphany – because besides sounding cliché, it also mitigates the months of mental anguish and cultural upheaval I went through – but one night while I was walking home from a workshop late at night someone who had sat in the audience approached me.

“Uh, hey,” he said, running up behind and motioning with his arm that he wanted me to stop. “Can I tell you something?” I nodded, looking around to see if any of my group mates were around, I was used to being approached after workshops and asked disgusting, personal questions. Back up from my mates would have helped me feel safe. “I’m not a bad person,” the guy continued, “but I’ve done a lot of bad things. But I never knew they were bad. I didn’t know there was anything wrong with everything that I was doing, the way I acted. Thank you for coming tonight. Thank you for making me realize that I was wrong, and that I was behaving like a turd, and that feminist isn’t a dirty word.”

Me! He thought I was a feminist? I wanted to correct him – “I’m not a feminist, but I could see how you think that! I just believe that men and women should be treated equally, and that we have in place long standing and deeply rooted infrastructure that puts women at a systematic disadvantage – but! Whoa? Feminist?”

I realized then that I was a feminist, that I had been duped into believing falsehoods about the word, the movement, the people who identified as such. I realized in the dark, smiling up at this stranger whose name I never knew but who had credited me with changing his mind, that I was a feminist and it felt good and I was going to help people realize they were too. We changed each other’s mind.sex-positive-feminism

Almost immediately after that night I started working at an adult store. I was a sex positive feminist! I annoyed all my co-workers by asking all our guests their preferred personal pronouns; I put cards up on our counter with the information for a local crisis line; a local doctor who specialized in working with survivors of sexual assault. Couples would shyly slink into my shop and I would joyously greet them, stretch my arms to embrace them, help them pick out a pair of pink handcuffs, a soft whip made of braided silk, crotchless panties. “I love helping people love sex!” I would think to myself, naively thinking that all the world’s problems would be solved if only we used the word sex more openly.

Then one day a woman came into my shop, her face red from tears and her bangs matted to her temple from sweat. “What can I help you with?” I inquired.

“I don’t like having sex,” she began, her words coming out in short gasps. “I don’t like having sex,” she repeated, looking at everything around her, taking it all in. “My boyfriend says there’s something wrong with me because I hate it and can’t orgasm, and that you need to fix me.” She fixated on me, her eyes angry but her bottom lip trembling. “Can you fix me, please?”

I didn’t know what to do, didn’t even know how to begin. Telling her that sex was natural and fun wasn’t what she needed to hear, because I knew that’s what she had always been told. “What do you mean you don’t like sex?” so many people had gasped at her. “You must be prude. You must not have been fucked properly. You must be weird. You must not know what you’re talking about.” I found myself getting angry imaging all the horrible things this woman had been told, I found myself angry because I thought I was open minded and didn’t know what to do.

sex+positive“There is nothing wrong with you,” I spat out, sounding angrier than I wished. “Please, I’m so sorry… there is nothing wrong with you, but there is something wrong with your boyfriend. You don’t deserve what he dished out, you don’t have to like anything you don’t want to like. I’m so sorry.”

A few days later a pimply faced young man approached me in the shop, pointed to a book on the shelf. “Will that tell me where the clit is? I don’t know where it is, I’m afraid my girlfriend will laugh at me if I ask her where it is, but how should I know? Like, what, I’m supposed to know everything about fucking?”

“I hate giving blow jobs,” an older man confided in me, a stack of DVDs in his hand and an empty shopping basket sitting at his feet. “I hate having to swallow, but if I spit they all think I’m being a baby. Can you give me something that makes it bearable? I don’t know, that would numb my throat or make it taste okay? Just something to make it less awful.”

Learning what it meant to be sex positive was even harder than learning to embrace the word feminist.

I had been lead to believe it meant just liking sex, liking sex a lot, and not being shamed of it. Sex positivity was a young, pretty face flashing small, white teeth and nodding enthusiastically at whatever you suggested: “Sure!”

I learned while crying with a stranger telling me she hated sex, sitting on the floor explaining to a red faced 18 year old what a vagina looked like, and holding a man’s hand in front of a movie that featured Jesse Jane in her first girl on girl scene that sex positivity meant more than liking sex; it meant not liking sex, it meant having boundaries, being able to say “no,” not being coerced into trying things (“You have to try it just once, come on!”), being respected. Sex positivity meant having a kink. Trying a new kink. Saying no to a kink. Saying yes! Saying no – don’t stop, our safe word is barnacle! Saying no.

I realized that as an educator I had failed.sex positivity

I began asking around at workshops; asking my co-workers, classmates, hallmates, wondering earnestly what “sex positivity” meant to them. Some were confused: “Uhh, being positive… about sex?” Others were excited to share with me what sex positivity meant for them, how it fit into their lives. I found everyone’s answers – so varied and all across the board – interesting, but in the end what stuck with me the most were the people who were “sex positivity” critical. “What does it mean?” one person sneered to me. “It means people feel better about sexualizing my body; it means people call me a slut when I’m at the bars and they look at me like I should be empowered by it.”

When I left school, I knew I wanted to stay in the field of sexual health education, but I didn’t know what that meant for me. Continue working on crisis lines? Go back to school? Explore a degree more centralized to education? Throughout my last term I pensively reflected on my four years and wondered what I should do next.

I remembered vividly all the people I helped in my shop, all the questions asked during workshops. I realized I wanted to continue reaching out to people on a personal basis and learn more from them. Feminism, sex positivity, kink positivity and LGBTQIA+ rights have been trending topics in the last few years, and I’m interested in exploring the aftermath of what some are calling our new sex positive culture.

And so it is: I come home from work and in the few hours before I leave the house again to pick up my partner (we both go to work at noon, he gets home close to 13 hours later, so it’s safe to say that we have both become the human equivalent of an owl) I sit at my desk and I write. I write about the experiences I’ve had over the last few years, the stories shared with me and how they’ve helped me grow. I conduct interviews, via phone or e-mail, with a wide array of personalities, all with the intention of sharing the unique perspectives passed on to me.

We all have our mark left on us from the culture we grew up in. What I want to know is: what impact has this life had on you? I reach out to you all and ask that you share your story with me, the story of what feminism and sex positivity (or: sex negativity) means to you, the impact it has had on your life and the mark it has left.

I would appreciate hearing from you. We all have stories to share, and my favorite thing to do is listen. Below is a link to my website, which explains more about my background in education, my goals in reaching out to community members, as well as outside links to my personal blog.

vivslaughter14.wix.com/sexpositivity

Take care,
Vivian

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