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Livin’ It Up, Oh Yeah!

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Hey sex fans,

We begin our 4th year of product reviews this first week of 2011. Its astonishing that what began as a lark back in May of 2007 is now full-blown effort that involves more than a dozen dedicated reviewers, my friends and colleagues of The Dr Dick Review Crew.

We begin the new year on a very positive note. Today, Jada tells you about her first LELO product.  This attractive vibe is part of their new Insignia line.

SORAYA —— $199.00
Jada
I must be among the last Review Crew members to hook up with a LELO product. I think we’ve reviewed nine or ten of their products so far, but I knew my turn would come soon enough.

As luck would have it, I am the first of the Dr Dick Review Crew to handle one of the new waterproof line of vibes from LELO called Insignia. As I read through some of the earlier LELO reviews written by my colleagues I notice one recurring regret; the vibes they were reviewing were not waterproof. Each reviewer painstakingly pointed out that the earlier incarnations of LELO products, while being remarkable in many ways, were hampered by a recharge port that made the unit difficult to thoroughly clean because it wasn’t submersible. Getting water, or worse lube, in the port rendered the expensive vibe inoperable.

To LELO’s great credit they’ve solved that problem with the Insignia line.

But let me start at the beginning. The SORAYA comes in the signature LELO packaging. It’s elegant and sophisticated, although I know some have problem with the excess. However, I don’t share those reservations. Everything from the glossy black outer carton to the matte black storage box is chic. The pink and golden dual action SORAYA is nestled in felt covered foam inlay. As far as I can tell the entire package is recyclable. But of course you wouldn’t want to toss the box, because it stores the SORAYA so perfectly.

If one were to judge the size of the SORAYA by the size of the box, which is over a foot long, one would have a very large vibe indeed. But looks are deceiving. The SORAYA itself is only about 8.5” from stem to stern. The insertable girth is pretty modest too, just over one inch at its widest. The clitoral stimulator stem is about 2.5” long.

While I guess I’d categorize the SORAYA as a rabbit vibe; in terms of design, it is miles above its unattractive cousins. Again, elegant and chic are the words that most readily pop to mind.

The SORAYA is remarkably light weight. Here another instance where looks are deceiving. I had convinced myself that the golden center of the vibe was metal, but it’s not. It is a metallic-coated ABS (plastic). And the velvety pink outer surface is 100% high-grade silicone.

The stylish hole in the base of the SORAYA is another very thoughtful design element. I can insert my forefinger in the hole and easily manipulate the three-button controller with my thumb. I’m going to guess that women were behind this design.
Full Review HERE

ENJOY!

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Sex Addiction, or Too Much of a Good Thing?

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This last post of 2010 will start with a declaration. One of my famous “Thus Sayeth Dr. Dick” sorta things, if you please.

Ready?

I categorically reject the concept of sexual addiction that has been floating around in the popular culture for the last 20 years or so.

And yes, I know this will rankle a bunch of you, but you’ll just have to get over it. You see, there is no such thing as a sexual addiction. Period!

Nowadays people bandy about the term addiction as if it can be applied to any and all obsessive behaviors. I have an addiction to chocolate; I’m addicted to shopping; I’m addicted to video games; I’m addicted to porn—or, I’m a sex addict. NONSENSE!

That being said, I hasten to add that I do believe there are sexual obsessions and compulsive sexual behaviors, plenty of ’em in fact. However, obsessions and compulsions are not addictions, and addictions, while they may involve irresistible impulses, are not the same thing as compulsions. Get it? Got it? Good!

I want to be absolutely clear about this. An addiction is a very specific condition. It denotes a dual dependency, physical as well as a psychological.

  • A physical dependency occurs when a substance is habitually used to a point where the body becomes reliant on its effects. The substance must be used constantly, because if it is withheld, it will trigger symptoms of withdrawal.
  • Psychological dependency occurs when the substance habitually used creates an emotional reliance on its effects. There is no functioning without it. Its absence produces intense cravings, which if not fed will trigger symptoms of withdrawal.

Check it out. With the help of my handy-dandy dictionary, a good place to start in discussions of this sort, I discovered these three very distinct definitions:

Addiction: The need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal. Broadly: persistent use of a substance known by the user to be harmful. A state of physiological and psychological dependence on a drug.

Compulsive: Driven by an irresistible inner force to do something; i.e., a compulsive liar.

Obsession: A persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling.

See? Different words. Different meanings. Not a particularly complex notion to grasp, right?

And listen, just because a bunch of yahoo afternoon talks show hosts and even a load of my esteemed professional colleagues banter these words about like they were interchangeable doesn’t make it so. In fact, we do ourselves a huge disservice by muddling these very specific concepts into a jumble. My fellow therapists should be the first to recognize this because finding help for an addiction or an intervention for an obsessive/compulsive disorder will be as specific as the problem itself.

One thing is for certain: identifying one of the things, as the other will complicate the problem solving. It’s like going to the doctor with a headache, and when the doc asks where does it hurt, you point to your stomach. It just won’t do.

Hi Dr. Dick,
I recently found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. He wants me to forgive him, but he keeps on doing the same thing over and over again. He’s like addicted to sex or something. I love him very much, but I feel dirty just by being around him and knowing what he’s doing. It also makes me feel stupid putting up with all of this and at the same time I still love him, please give me some advice. Thank You.
— Darlene

Before we turn our attention to your boyfriend’s behavior, let me make a quick observation about you. You’re a big fat ball of contradictions, huh? How can you say that you love the person that makes you feel dirty and stupid? You’re deceiving yourself about at least one of those feelings. And if I had to guess, I’d say what you’ve got with your man ain’t love—it’s an obsession.

Your boyfriend probably has you figured out by now, and he knows that you will tolerate his misbehavior, which gives him tacit permission to do whatever he feels like doing. From where I sit, you’re the real sap. If you’re really serious about reining in your wayward BF, you’d better come up with a clear, unambiguous message about what you will and will not tolerate. Until you do precisely that, he’ll just think that he can roam wherever he wants and whenever he wants.

If the two of you are supposed to be living in a sexually exclusive relationship, and he’s taking his business elsewhere, then he’s got a problem, too. However, I caution you against thinking that his sexual behaviors are an addiction. Because they’re not.  And thinking they are will not help you find the solution to the problems you folks are having.

There are root causes for his behavior, just like there are root causes for your behavior. To get to the bottom of all of this, each of you will need to invest a good deal of time and energy with a qualified therapist. One can only hope that there’s a big enough bank of goodwill between the two of you to carry the day because overcoming your obsession and his compulsions will demand all of your emotional resources.

Dear Dr. Dick,
I have been in a relationship for five years now and truly love my partner, however I can never seem to get enough sex. I am 30 and he is 29, but I constantly find myself in the chat rooms lookin’ for younger guys to have sex with. It’s more than just a hobby—it’s a habit! I’ve actually lost jobs because he’d be out of town and I’d spend almost every waking hour on the PC with a cocktail looking for sex, not caring about anything else. It’s like I’m addicted to sex. He knows I have played around (I actually have talked him into three-ways a few times), but he has no idea how extreme it’s become. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m not unhappy with him. I just can’t seem to stop wanting sex with younger guys. Any suggestions?
— Brian

It’s interesting that you should tell me about your compulsive sexual behavior in the same breath that you tell me of your love for your partner. As you’ve probably guessed already, there isn’t really much of a connection between the two. Love and sex are two very different things. Sometimes they go together, but not always or even often for that matter.

It appears to me that you’ve really got two problems happening simultaneously: First, your compulsive prowling of the internet for sex (complicated, I might add, by your alcohol consumption). Second, the deception you’re practicing on your partner. Let’s deal with each of these in turn.

Your particular sexual activity, like any compulsive behavior (overeating, excessive shopping, etc.), is more than just a bad habit. It’s a serious psychological dysfunction. Take it from me: breaking this behavior pattern will be nearly impossible without some professional help. If the problem is as serious as you say, then you’d better seek help right away. This sort of thing, if left untreated, will not only destroy your relationship, it will ruin your life. When you seek that professional help, I encourage you to include information about your alcohol consumption. If there is an addiction in all of this, it’s the alcohol, not the sex. And in your case, the addiction may be fueling the compulsion.

Now, regarding your relationship. It’s imperative that you come clean with your partner about your sexual obsessions and compulsions, as well as your probable alcohol addiction. Not only will you feel better about not lying to him anymore, you’re going to need his support in overcoming the difficult obstacles you face. I suggest that you attend to this right away. There’s not a moment to lose.

Good Luck

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Play With It Returns With More Audrey McManus — Podcast #250 — 12/06/10

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Hey sex fans,

We’re off for another exciting field trip to Babeland, Seattle to continue our chat with my friend Audrey McManus. She’s the Marketing, Education and Social Media Coordinator for that illustrious sex toy boutique, don’t cha know. This is Part 2 of our conversation, which inaugurates this brand-spankin-new podcast series called: Play With It.

This series is all about meeting industry insiders in the world of adult products — leading retailers, educators, manufacturers and reviewers — who are shaping the sex toy and pleasure product marketplace.

But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1 of this delightful conversation that appeared here last week at this time, did you? Well not to worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in my Podcast Archive. All ya gotta do is use the search function in the header of my site, DDSA.com; type in Podcast #248 and Voilà! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

Audrey and I discuss:

  • Vagina vulva puppets;
  • Our list for healthy sex toy materials;
  • Toy cleaners and proper storage;
  • The blossoming market of body products;
  • Parabens and glycerin;
  • The teachable moment for the novelty customer;
  • Having sex on the brain;
  • Toys for seniors and disabled folks;
  • Babeland’s history
  • Staff training and enrichment classes.

Audrey invites you to check out all the fabulous products and interesting enrichment programs available at Babeland by visiting their site HERE! Look for her on Facebook HERE! And enjoy her twitter feed HERE!

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Review.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

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Holiday Gift Giving Guide, WEEK 4

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Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday again and this is Week 4 of our 3rd annual Holiday Gift Giving Guide.

This week all our products come from our favorite retailer — Adult Sex Toys .com.

Sensual Mint Shower/Bath Gel —— $10.93

Dixie
I have a fantastic gift giving suggestion for anyone on your list who loves a good bubble bath or shower gel. Let me tell you about this marvelous Sensual Mint Shower/Bath Gel from the equally marvelous Canadian company, Shunga Products.

First, you should know that I’m a gal who adores her bath time. It’s precious time for just me. I bracket off as much time for myself as I possibly can. I soak, read, contemplate and often enjoy one of my favorite waterproof vibrators while in my bath. My partner, Joy, says she thinks I could live in my bath. She’s not far off base on that. I’m also a connoisseur of luscious bath products like this Sensual Mint Shower/Bath Gel.

It contains peppermint oil, vitamin E, and aloe vera. The peppermint provides the fragrance and a lovely tingling sensation, which refreshes as well as arouses. It also contains glycerin. This would be a problem for me if the glycerin were a lube and I was using it internally, but in this instance the glycerin isn’t an issue for me.

The Shunga Bath and Shower gel is available in two flavors/fragrances — erotic fruits and sensual mint. Both are editable! Joy says she can taste the mint in my skin after my bath. Listen, if I can get in my bath time, get all aroused while doing so, have my lover tell me that I taste delicious and that she wants more; well then, I’ve hit the jackpot.

Probably you are already familiar with a bath/shower gel, right? You use it like a liquid soap in the shower or as a bubble bath in the bath. It suds up very well on a washcloth and bubbles up beautifully when added to running bath water.

Sensual Mint Shower/Bath Gel contains several vegetable oils like almond oil, grape seed oil, avocado oil, sesame oil and salflower oil. All these work marvels softening my skin. And there’s never a sticky or greasy residue. The mint aroma opens up my sinuses and wakes me up.
Full Review HERE!

Champagne Lights —— $4.93

Joy
While Dixie was enjoying her Sensual Mint Shower/Bath Gel. I was busy with these two unique aromatherapy candles called Champagne Lights. I have a pink one and a green one. Unfortunately, nothing on the 4oz glass jar packaging that I have identifies the scent. I had to look online to find the answer to this perplexing question. The pink one is French Vanilla; the green one is Pear Blossom. Don’t know why my candles aren’t marked, but there ya have it.

Both candles are made from small wax beads as opposed to the more traditional solid wax. In fact, this is the first time I ever encountered such a thing. Actually, I was taken by surprise when I unscrewed the metal lid and discover the contents. Had I been a bit more careless while opening the jar I’m certain the wax beads would have spilled out all over the floor. So there’s your first word of caution when using this product; open the Champagne Lights carefully.

You may also find that you need to pound down the beads in the jar a bit before opening. Shipping the product disturbs the beads and at first I couldn’t find the wick; it had become buried under the tiny wax pellets. Curiously enough the Champagne Lights candle burn just like a regular candle.

Each candle is pleasantly scented, but nothing over powering. You don’t have to worry about them clogging the air with too much scent. They burn clean and smokeless and they last for about 12 hours. Although you’re not suppose to burn it for longer than 3 or 4 hours at a time. It says so right on the jar.
Full Review HERE!

Lussuria Rechargeable Vibrator by Vida —— $109.58

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “We’ve hit the jackpot! Seriously, in our tenure with the Dr Dick Review Crew, Kevin and I have had the opportunity to review several high-end vibes. Many of which we’ve enjoyed very much. Today I can safely say we have here with us the queen of high-end vibes.”
Kevin: “Absolutely! This exceptional beauty is the Lussuria by Vida.  Neither Gina or I had ever heard of this company before, but a quick look at their website showed us what we’ve been missing.”
Gina: “The gorgeous Lussuria is made of anodized aluminum and ultra-hygienic silicone. The color is black obsidian. Although, that’s redundant, because obsidian IS black.”
Kevin: “Maybe they’re trying to say that it is a black black, true black or blackety black black.”
Gina: “Yeah, maybe that! So besides the luxurious overall color, there is also a very stylish fuchsia piping that goes around the base. Most of the other high-end vibes we’ve reviewed were silicone over plastic. That’s nice enough, I suppose. That is until you feel the heft (over 7oz) of silicone over aluminum. Then you begin to appreciate what you’ve been missing all along.”
Kevin: “So true! The weight is in the controller end of the Lussuria. This provides a counterpoint to the insertable end of the Lussuria where the vibration is. So imagine the ribbed and flattened end of the vibe nestled against your G-spot or P-spot while having the weighted end keep the pressure on your pleasure spot. Fantastic!”
Gina: “Those of you who follow our reviews know that Kevin and I agree that most, it not all, G-spot vibes, because of their ergonomic design, are equally suited to pleasuring a guy’s prostate. The Lussuria excels at this, just as Kevin says.”
Kevin: “The slender neck on the vibe allows me to clamp down my sphincter on to it, making the Lussuria a superior butt plug. I can even do my kegel exercises with this weighted vibe in place.”
Gina: “Because the Lussuria is waterproof we can disinfect it after every use so that we both can share it. Remember, you can only use a water-based lube with a beautiful silicone toy like this.”
Kevin: “The Lussuria has five speeds and it’s extremely quiet even at high speed. The lighted one-button operation cycles through the speeds as well as turning it off, at any point, by holding down the button. And it’s fuckin’ rechargeable! They’ve thought of everything.”
Gina: “Now lets talk packaging. It’s as if the Vida people decided to throw caution to the wind with their packaging. The vibe itself comes nestled in a jet-black velvety foam cushion inside a black faux leather carrying case, with a handle. But wait, there’s more. Besides the swank carrying case there is black storage pouch that ties with a satin ribbon. This allows you to travel discreetly with your Lussuria. And all of this comes in a beautiful black (of course) tote bag. It is overkill, or just divine decadence? You decide.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

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Holiday Gift Giving Guide, WEEK 3

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Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday again and this is Week 3 of our 3rd annual Holiday Gift Giving Guide.

This week we welcome back two of our favorite retailers, who always send us delightful goodies to review.

First up, a uniquely shaped butt plug from Vibrator.com. They are the purveyors of fine sex toys. Dr Dick Review Crew member, Carlos, shows us around.

Tantus Dipper —— $31.00

Carlos
I’ve been following my fellow Review Crew member’s comments about the Tantus products we’ve received for review. You can see these reviews HERE.  I’ve been hoping to get a crack at one of these beauties myself. So when Dr Dick asked me if I wanted to review the Tantus Dipper I jumped at the opportunity.

I am a huge fan of butt plugs and, over the years, I’ve collected a nice selection of prostate stimulators that I take for a ride at least a couple of times a week. Sometime I wear one or another of them for hours at a time. I love going shopping with one in my ass. The tedium of grocery shopping becomes a fun outing. I have huge smile on my face and everyone wonders why I’m so cheerful. If they only knew!

The Tantus Dipper is the perfect tool for your honey pot. And it’s a doubleheader too. You can use either end! One end is shaped like a honey dipper with loads of ridges. The other end is spherical and it pops into my ass like a single anal bead. Between the two ends is the traditional butt plug notch, a narrow neck, that allows my sphincter muscles to clap down on it, keeping whatever end I have in my hole safely in place. PERFECT!
Full Review HERE!

And now a couple toys from our friends at Adult Sex Toys .com. First, here’s Dr Dick Review Crew member, Denise.

Roulette High Roller —— $73.41

Denise
Damn, the Roulette High Roller is pink! Not your pastel pink either; more like your shockingly crazy day-glo-pink variety. Pink is not my favorite color, by a long shot, but I didn’t let the color of the Roulette High Roller get in the way of me enjoying this delightful vibe. You shouldn’t let the color get in the way either.

The Roulette High Roller has just about everything I look for in a vibrator. There is a nice texture to the beautifully soft silicone shaft. It’s waterproof! And it has a pinwheel device that adjusts the variable vibration speed. There are no vibration patterns. But from my point of view, having a bunch of vibration modes is completely overrated. Give me a good strong steady vibration, and I’m a happy gal. And the more simple the controller the better. What gives with all the elaborate control panels on vibes these days? When I use a vibrator I want to get off, I don’t want to go to the moon!

The Roulette High Roller is mighty quite too.

Because the Roulette High Roller is silicone, it’s nonporous, phthalates-free, hypoallergenic and latex-free. It’s also brilliantly easy to clean — mild soap and water will do, or wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution, rubbing alcohol or peroxide. Because it’s waterproof, you don’t have to worry about submerging it in soapy water for a thorough cleaning. This is really important to me. I’m very leery about insertable toys you can’t thoroughly clean. The Roulette High Roller comes packaged in its own reusable plastic storage box too. Good thinking, Evolved Novelties!
Full Review HERE!

Finally Dr Dick Review Crew member, Christa, has a Fun Factory vibe to show us.

Fun Factory’s Layaspot —— $57.53

Christa
This is the Layaspot by Fun Factory. It’s a sweet looking little vibe perfect for clit stimulation. It has a kick-ass ergonomic shape that straddles my mons for some hands-free pleasuring. The business end of the vibe is in the wider end, but I can feel the vibration throughout the whole vibe. This wider, flatter end fits up against my clit nicely and delivers a great full genital massage. And I don’t even have to move it around.

There are two buttons on the spine of the vibe; one marked + and one marked —. These regulate the eight levels of vibration and three pulsation modes. I found operating these little buttons a problem. Turning it on and off isn’t particularly difficult, but it takes a lot of finger strength to keep the buttons depressed long enough to switch the vibrations modes. I didn’t like that.

The unit is only 4” long, made of a hard plastic with a softer skid-resistant coating. The package says it is phthalates free, hypoallergenic and latex free. The Layaspot is powered by a couple of AAA –batteries. But getting into the battery compartment is if bitch. Who designed this, some he-man? I wound up having to use my mother’s jar opener to open the Layaspot. Closing it properly is also a challenge. I thought I had it right till the plastic battery compartment top popped off during use. D’oh! Ok, so that was my fault.

The Layaspot is not waterproof; they say it’s splash proof. What exactly does splash proof really mean anyhow? It tells me the manufacturer couldn’t bother to make a watertight seal on the toy, that’s what it says to me. I figure a toy is either waterproof or it’s not. Splash proof shouldn’t be a selling point, IMHO. Listen, maybe this isn’t a big thing for others, but it is for me. Not just in terms of use, but also in terms of cleaning. A vibe that costs near $60 should, I think, be waterproof. That is if you ask me.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

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