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Elegant ELISE

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Hey sex fans,

So here we go with Part 4 of our LELO reviews (and we still have three more to go).  If you somehow missed the previous installments, use the search function to the right.  Type in LELO, and presto!

Jack & Karen do the honors

ELISE —— $169

Jack & Karen
Karen: “Finally we’ve got our hands on a LELO. We were beginning to wonder who we had to fuck to get in on the LELO action around here.”
Jack: “Like my daddy always said, ‘Ya gotta walk through a lot of manure before you find the pony.’”
Karen: “The
ELISE is way better than a pony!
This black beauty (ours is black) is made from medical grade silicone. It’s just short of 10” long with just about 5” insertable length. It’s got a sweet curve to it and its torpedo-shaped. I like that shape because it looks just like Jack’s thingy.”
Jack: “Thingy? My THINGY? She’s such a grownup.”
Karen: “Sorry, that didn’t come out like I hoped. Jack’s cock is torpedo-shaped and it curves, to the left. Is that better, honey?”
Jack: “Yes dear, that’s better. It’s just that I never heard you use “thingy” before.
Ok, on with our review. The
ELISE has 5 stimulation modes and 5 speeds. It’s super quiet. It’s also rechargeable; so there’s no stinkin’ batteries to buy.”
Karen: “The Scandinavian designers of the
ELISE clearly had the woman user in mind when they developed this vibe. When I use it by myself, for G-spot stimulation, the controls are right where they should be, in the handle were I see and can reach them. There are also two, count them, two points of vibration — one in the tip, another in the shaft.”
Jack: “The
ELISE comes with the elegant signature LELO high-end packaging. It’s a gift just waiting to be given.”
Karen: “But be sure to use only water-based lube with this silicone vibe.”
Jack: “And be careful that you don’t get any lube (or water, when you’re cleaning up) in the recharging port.”
Karen: “That’s the only drawback I see to this Pleasure Object. Other than that, you can be completely uninhibited with the
ELISE. Isn’t that true, Jack? Why not tell the good people your little secret?”
Jack: “Ok, ok, Stop The Presses! I have an announcement. I broke my ass cherry with the ELISE. There I said it.
I wasn’t actually gonna say that here, because I’m still a little, how shall I put this, sensitive about the whole anal insertion thing. But WTF, right?

I mean I had a ball with this bugger. I’m like totally sold on the prostate massage concept now. But still, years of equating butt-play with gay will take awhile to dissolve.”
Karen: “I am so proud of you for coming out like this, you little butt pirate, you!”
Jack: “Hey now, that’s our little secret.”
Karen: “Yeah, us and all of our readers.”
Jack : “Like I suggested a bit ago, cleanup is easy with just some soap and water; just mind the recharger port. If you’re gonna share this toy, like we did, be sure to thoroughly wipe it down with a lint-free towel wet with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution. Remember, you won’t be able to boil it or pop it in the dishwasher to sterilize.”

See the full review HERE!

On a need to know basis.

Name: Jackye
Gender: Female
Age: 32
Location: London.
Do you have a suggestion regarding sexual positions for easier anal sex?

I sure do, doll!  Try it doggy style.  It’s the most popular position for gettin’ it in the bum.  It’s a very basic sex position, where the bottom bends over a bed, a couch, a chair, the whatnot shelf, and the top nails him or her in ass from behind. For obvious reasons, this position is also called as the rear entry position.  And just so you know that we ain’t completely uncultured slobs here at Dr Dick’s Sex Advice, the Latin name for doggy style is coitus ferarum, which literally means ‘fucking in the manner of the beasts’.

doggy_sex_positionDoggie style is a preferred position for most people of the female persuasion, because it allows the top to directly stimulate the chick’s G spot for that really yummy feeling.  This position also allows for a hands-free fuck. The top can busy his/her hands fondling the bottom’s tits and all his/her junk in the trunk.  Similarly, the bottom’s hands are also free to diddle him or herself and or grab somethin of the top’s, like his nuts or her taint.

There is no major exertion of limb muscles, just as long as the top bends his/her bottom over something high enough so that he/she won’t have to strain his/her knees while gettin that hot monkey love.

Politically correct folks think this sexual position is too submissive for a woman in straight sex. She being pretty much locked position, and under the control of the male top.  But I say, fuck political correctness.  If you like this position, use it.  Better yet, once you get nailed, strap one on and give as good as you get.

Like everything in life, the doggie position has some drawbacks. An inexperienced bottom may encounter discomfort, because the top can penetrate very deep in this position.  For the romantics among us, they’ll be unable to maintain eye contact or kiss during the fuck.  And of course, there is also no frontal visual stimulation, unless you’re bumping in front of a mirror.  Which is never a bad idea.

I suggest you try  “the woman-on-top” — cowgirl position too.  See the photo below.  This position will provide you more control over the depth and speed of your partner’s thrusts.cowgirl

Another swell position is the spoon position. Here the top lies on his/her side with knees bent slightly forward. The bottom lies in front, facing the other way and positions him/herself in such a way so that his/her butt lines up with the top’s dick or strap-on.  This allows for a pretty much effortless fuck for both top and bottom.  Folks have been known to fall asleep mid fuck in this position.  Don’t let this happen to you. Hey, and it’s real easy for the couple to switch sides too.

The advantages of the spoon position are pretty clear, huh?  Both the top and bottom are reclining.  There is little to no exertion and it’s an ideal position for us older folk, or the truly jumbo among us.  After the fuck is finished the couple can remain in this position for a very long time extending the afterglow.

The bottom can do the old reach around and grab somethin’ of the top’s to play with.  The top can also reach around for easy access to tits and pussy or tits and cock.  (Do you see how I’m going out of my way to be inclusive with instructions?  I hope so.)  And the lucky bottom gets the joy of being plugged and cuddled all at the same time. This might be a better option than doggie style for the inexperienced bottom, because he/she will have some control over the depth of the penetration.

While some folks think this position is downright boring, because it doesn’t involve much activity on the part of either top or bottom.  The spoon position does get the politically correct seal of approval.  It’s one of those egalitarian sexual positions, don’t cha know.  Neither the top nor the bottom is in a superior position.  Isn’t that special?

Name: Chad
Gender: male
Age: 25
Location: Alaska
My new girlfriend is 5 years older than me and she is a total freak.  She has purple hair, 5 tattoos and a 7 piercings, including her labia.  She wants me to get my dick pierced.  I said I’d think about it, but she says I’m a pussy for putting it off.  I know lots of guys have piercings, but is it safe?

I firmly believe in the right of every adult to augment, adorn and embellish, or in any other way customize his or her body.  However, I draw the line at someone goading or harassing another person to do so.   And it sounds to me like your freaky-deaky GF is badgering you to do just that.  So if I were you, I’d tell her to back off till you can sanely make up your mind.  It’s a good thing you’re being so thoughtful about this, because even though a piercing is not permanent, like a tattoo, there still are risks involved…more even than getting inked.

As body piercing becomes trendier in the popular culture, many people try to outdo each pa_0other with unusual piercings. However, all the most common piercings have their roots in the traditions of tribal peoples throughout the world.

The first thing you should know is that body piercing is an art form.  It is best practiced by well-trained, highly qualified and seasoned professionals.  If you entrust your body to an amateur you’re asking for trouble.  Do your homework.  As piercing establishments proliferate, some will be better than others. In most jurisdictions piercers and their salons are required to be registered and licensed. You might want to check your local health department for a information and recommendations.

Before you decide to proceed, visit the piercer in his/her shop. Ask questions. Ask them how they sterilize their instruments and jewelry (autoclaving is the only safe method). Nowadays, all needles should be single use instruments.  They should be opened just prior to the piercing, and then disposed of immediately thereafter. If the shop offers other adornments, like tattooing, make sure the piercing is done in a separate room (for privacy as well as hygiene).

Most people are initially concerned with the pain involved in getting pierced.  Depending on what you’re getting pierced, there will be moderate to a whole lot of pain.  And that’s just the beginning.  Once the jewelry is in place there will be at least 2-3 days when the piercing area is very sensitive to the touch.  Because some areas of the body have more blood vessels than others, like your dick for example, expect some blood loss and a lot of swelling post-piercing.  Trust me, gettin’ a boner afterwards will be your worst nightmare.

That being said, you will be amazed at how resilient your body’s is.  It has a phenomenal ability to heal itself.   Of course, the practitioner should provide you with detailed aftercare instructions.  These will outline all the procedures and aftercare products you’ll need to attend to yourself while you heal.  A word of caution, if your general health is compromised in anyway; if you are sick, run- down or over-worked, or immune-compromised in any way, your body’s ability to heal will be decreased and there will be an increase in the risk of infection.

As you heal, any pressure on a piercing has the potential to aggravate and inflame the site.  You’d best refrain from contact sports, manual labor, or anything else that irritate your new piercing. Most piercings take a minimum of 6 weeks to heal. Wearing tight clothes, touching the piercing with dirty hands, contact with bodily fluids, rough treatment, and using inappropriate cleaning agents will diminish your body’s ability to heal and increase the risk of infection.  Hey, and don’t skimp on the quality of jewelry you choose either.  Poor grade jewelry can fuck up the piercing big time.

Given all the pain and risks, you might ask, why do people bother getting pierced at all?  Well, that’s pretty easy to answer.  Piercings aficionados agree; a piercing enhances sex by providing a greater degree of stimulation to one’s self and one’s partner.

The most popular cock piercings is the Prince Albert. It has the fastest healing time and is considered the most sexually appealing of cock piercings. It enters the urethra and exits immediately behind the glans on the underside of the cock.  There is a variation called the reverse Prince Albert, which enters the urethra and exits on the top of the dick head. This piercing requires less cleaning than most since urine aids in the healing process.  However afterwards, most men find that they have to sit down to pee or they dribble all over themselves.  You’ll need to allow one week of sexual abstinence post piercing and 2-4 months for it to heal completely.  In the interim always use a condom until you’re fully healed.

Good luck ya’ll

Don’t forget the Seattle Fetish & Fantasy Festival!

strangerd300x100

Lookin’ for a little somethin’ that will perk up that ho-hum sex life of yours?  I thought so.  Well then, here’s your opportunity to learn a few new tricks.  (Along with a slew of other sex-positive adults of every persuasion.)

I’ll be there, so you know it’s gonna be good.  Hell, if you’re lucky, and register early, you can even take one of my workshops.  YOU CAN REGISTER ONLINE!

April 10-11, 2009
2 Days of Classes,
Music & Food

Be there or be square!

A Thrill A Minute

Look for my new

Product Reviews!

REVIEW #29

Sex Fans,

The Dr Dick Review Crew is BACK! We’re all rested and relaxed and ready to tackle whatever cums our way.

We begin 2009 with a bang.  We have three vibes from Synergy Erotic.  They’re a relatively new company with a wonderful corporate philosophy, which includes everything from quality manufacturing to subtle yet effective packaging.  Good for them!

This week’s Review Crew includes:
Angie — Reviews #12, 16, 26
Glenn & Hank — Reviews #4, 16, 17, 18, 23. 24, 27
Jada — Reviews #14, 16, 20

Luscious Thrill-Her, Lavender $18.99

Angie introduces us to Luscious Thrill-Her.

Angie:
This is a sweet and petite personal vibrator (5 1/2 inch long and 1 1/2 inch in diameter).  It features a small diameter, which is ideal for the novice user.  Luscious Thrill-Her is perfect for both anal stimulation and vaginal stimulation.  It has a solid vibrator core that is encased in a sensual outer skin made of a product called Ultra-Gelle.  It is soft, pliable and very comfortable to use.

luscious

I tried to do a little behind the scenes sleuthing to ferret-out what this Ultra-Gelle is composed of, but I wasn’t successful.  I am generally wary of new materials that might contain hazardous or allergenic materials.  I was delighted to see that Ultra-Gelle is Phthalate free.  Thank you for that!  It says so right on the package, which is good for marketing.  I always look for that designation on any soft material, like Ultra-Gelle.  And so should you; especially if the toy is intended for insertion.  I am unable to say if Ultra-Gelle is latex-free or not.  If you have a latex allergy, you might contact the manufacturer for more information before you buy.  That’s always the safest bet.

Luscious Thrill-Her has several features I like very much.  First, it is waterproof, so it’s great to use in the bath.  It also has a rheostat type speed adjustment that allows one to vary the vibration.  This toy should only be used with water-based lube, however.

Clean up is easy; mild soap and warm water does just fine. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.

Luscious Thrill-Her runs on 2 ‘AAA’ Batteries, but the first set of batteries is not included in the package. This is a pet peeve for everyone on Dr Dick’s Review Crew.  We feel as though no one should be creating battery-operated toys without including the first set of batteries in the package.

Luscious Thrill-Her comes in several fetching colors.  I confidently recommend this petite insertable.”

Full review HERE.

Squirmy Touch-Me, Lavender    $24.99

Glenn & Hank introduce us to the Squirmy Touch-Me.

Glenn:  “Hey, ya wanna see my pink penis?”
Hank:  “Actually, it’s lavender, dude; not pink.”
Glenn:  “Oh, ok!  Hey, ya wanna see my lavender penis?”
Hank:  “Why are you always so wacky?”
Glenn:  “Ahhh, because god made me that way?  Besides, were talking about toys, aren’t we?  That call for a little levity, right?”  😉

squrmy

Hank:  “Alright then, let’s have it your way.  So Glenn, why don’t you show us your pretty new lavender penis.”
Glenn:  “Maybe I will.  Squirmy Touch-Me is 8 1/2 inch of vibrating cock.  It even looks like a cock. And when I’m buggerin’ myself, or having someone else cornholein’ me; I like the weapon of ass-destruction to look like a cock, OK?  I’m old fashioned that way.  If you don’t like your toys to look like a wang; that’s fine with me.  But I do; so there!  And check this out; Squirmy Touch-Me has a flexible shaft that bends then holds its shape.  I absolutely love it!”
Hank:  “Squirmy Touch-Me has this very interesting articulated spine so that the vibrating tip reaches your prostate (or G-spot) each and every time.  Then it does a little dance that’ll really put a smile on your face.”
Glenn:  “It has the same Ultra-Gelle skin, as the product Angie showed you earlier.  I like the feel of it in my hands, but even more so up my ass.”
Hank: “The same cleaning instructions that Angie gave you apply to the Squirmy Touch-Me, so I won’t repeat them.  But I do want to emphasize the water-based lube precaution.  You wouldn’t want to mess up this toy with a silicone-based or oil-based lube.”
Glenn:  “It’s waterproof, which I really love.  Rammin’ this baby home in the shower in the morning makes the perfect start to each and every day.  Oh, and it two speeds — yummy and even more yummier.”
Hank:  “We want to second what Angie said about the batteries.  When we’re faced with a choice of toys of equal worth; one with batteries in the package and one without; we always choose the one with batteries.  We want to support the companies who are going the extra mile.”
Glenn:  “Considering the price of this puppy, it’s a great starter vibrating dildo for anyone lookin for a little Gelle fun.”

Full review HERE.

Vibe-Me Massager, Luster Blue    $11.99

Jada introduces us to the Vibe-Me Massager.

Jada
Isn’t this a beauty?  It’s so shiny and sleek.  It looks like it’s made of metal, but it’s not.  The Vibe-Me Massager is an 8-inch hard plastic bodied waterproof vibrator.  There’s nothing soft of squishy here.  It contains a powerful motor, yet it is very quiet.  I really appreciate that.  I hate it when toys are loud enough to wake the dead.

vibe-me

The Vibe-Me Massager has several features I liked very much.  Like the two other vibes that we are featuring today, mine is also waterproof.  Angie, Glenn and I agree that a waterproof vibe is so convenient to use when one is already naked…like in the bath.  It also has a rheostat type speed adjustment that allows one to vary the vibration, just like the one Angie showed you.

Because the Vibe-Me Massager is non-porous, you can use any sort of personal lube you’d like with this toy.   I’m partial to silicone-based lube, so that’s what I use.  But water-based lube works equally well. The Vibe-Me Massager will stay slick either way.

Clean up is easy — mild soap and warm water works fine.  But you can sanitize more fully with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.  This is a highly recommended procedure if you will be sharing your toys.

The bullet shape makes insertion effortless.  And I must say I love the metallic blue color, it’s so pretty.

Unlike my friend Glenn here, I have a preference for a less penis identifiable shape to my dildos.  So does my husband.  I’m sure I would feel the same way he does if I were a man using an insertable on a woman.  Who needs the obvious comparison between the dildo and the real thing?

And just to make it unanimous, I concur with everyone else on the battery issue.”

Full review HERE.

ENJOY!

Take A Deep Breath

Name: Jake
Gender:
Age: 18
Location: London
I have never had sex mostly because I have never managed to approach the person. I am bisexual and am desperate to have sex with a guy or girl. What are the best ways to approach someone for sex?

Can’t manage to approach a person for sex?  Are you just really shy, or are you a total geek?  Either way, my friend, you gotta get over yourself if you ever hope to get laid.  And here’s a tip:  perspective partners can smell desperation, like the kind you speak of, a mile away.  And they will avoid you like the plague.

Ok, so you’re just 18 without a lot of experience in the ways of the world.  teen_sexuality.jpgHere’s what I tell everyone who asks me this question, regardless of age, gender or sexual orientation.  When it comes to asking for sex; the direct approach works best.  Just so long as you’re not a dick about it.  If you haven’t already discovered this, baggin a bird will probably take a bit more finesse than pokin’ on a bloke.  And coming on to a mate demands a different approach than hittin’ up a stranger for a shag.

If there’s a bit of charm about you, your task will be considerably easier than if you are a crude Neanderthal who just wants to notch his belt.  If you’re not sure what your selling points are, ask a friend for his or her feedback.  If he or she tells you nice things bout yourself, you might be in luck.  If he or she tells you that you’re a charmless creep, you’ll have your work cut out for you.

Regardless what group you fall into — the “maybe fuckable”, or the “not fucking ever”, you can always improve your image and hone your unique style.  Look to how you present yourself; make sure you are groomed, clean and odor-free.  Dress to impress.  Stay clear of fancy or fussy, but do make it look like you gave your cloths a thought before you dressed yourself.  Make yourself interesting; have a point of view, but share it sparingly.  Develop a sense of humor about yourself.  If you can’t be clever or witty, then keep your mouth shut for the most part.

boys_kissing05.jpgThe internet is a great place to test the waters.  Dating and hook-up sites abound.  Put up a profile…with a photo or two.  Here’s a tip, save the dick pics for the queer sites.  Women don’t want to see your pathetic willie, at least not right away.  And like I said above, there’s nothing more unattractive to most women, or men, than a desperate fuck.  Asking for what you want is good, pleading to be taken out of pity is not!

Few women are as casual about sex as are most men.  So if a woman tells you no, she just may be shy, or not ready, or not sure.  If a guy tell you no, it’s not the end of the world.  He’s probably not into your type.  Since there are so many fish in the sea, if you’re not immediately successful, move on.  Sometimes getting laid is a situational thing.  Being in the right place at the right time is helpful.

Chicks are gonna be concerned about the whole pregnancy thing. This is much more serious concern for a woman then for a dude. If you’re not well versed on all methods of contraception and willing to practice at least one, you’re not ready to have sex. Sexually transmitted infections ought to be a concern for you both.  Don’t be a fuck-up; always use a condom regardless of your partner’s gender.

condoms001.jpg

If you’re dick is hard, it’s not the right time to talk about sex with a woman, but it might be the best time to hit up a dude.  Women don’t necessarily like the lean and hungry look.  Men tend to groove on it.

There are lots of different ways to have sex, so what might be appealing to one person may not be to another.  Hand jobs and/or blow jobs are often more easy to cum by than full-on fucking with both birds and blokes.

In the end, there no standard way to ask for sex, but if you treat a prospective partner, regardless of gender, with respect, honesty, and patience, you can be sure whatever words you use will be more effective than if you’re an uncouth lout.

Name: Nita
Gender: female
Age: 40
Location: South Africa
I recently had abdominal surgery to remove a cancer.  I’m recovering pretty well, and the prognosis for my future is also pretty good.  But I am noticing two problems. The surgery left a really big scar.  It’s still not fully healed yet, but I can tell it’s always going to be ugly.  And my belly is really misshapen now. I felt pretty okay about my body before hand, but this scar really makes me look really unattractive.  Also, my sex drive has completely gone away. I used to be a pretty sexual person, but now nothing excites me. Would you say this is normal?

How long ago was your surgery, I wonder?  It’s got to be pretty recent, if you say the incision is still healing.

Darlin’, may I suggest that you’ve been through quite a trauma — a cancer diagnosis, recent surgery and all.  This would throw anyone for a loop.  I’d be willing to guess you’ve not had the proper time to process all of this.  It comes as no surprise to me that your libido has gone south.  I wouldn’t expect otherwise.

If you’re still healing on the outside, you know for sure your insides have a much longer way to go.  You’re probably still feeling some discomfort, right?  That’s enough to put the kibosh on sexual interest right there.  You’re body is consumed with the job of healing itself.  It probably hasn’t any energy to spare for sex.  And why have a libido if ya can’t be sexual, right?   So you see, your body is actually protecting itself and concentrating on the task at hand.sensual_massage110.JPG

Maybe at this point in your recovery a little pampering would be better for you than a pursuit of sexual pleasure.  Long luxurious baths will help soothe the tension, as well as giving your easy access to your fine pussy.  Even folks with no discernable libido find touching themselves enjoyable. And just to keep your head in the game, even though you’re sitting on the sidelines, you could read some erotica or watch some sexy smut.

Some modest exercise like walking or swimming can perk up the libido too.  Treat yourself to an erotic massage.  Let a pro get his or her hands on you and make you glow.  This may also help bring back some of the sensitivity to areas effected by the surgery.  One things for sure, doing something is better than doing nothing but sitting there wondering what’s up.

An invasive and disfiguring surgery will always have a profound effect on one’s body image, which goes without saying.  Feeling unattractive because of a scar? No doubt about it, it’s a bummer.  But here you are writing to me about it, instead of napping six-feet under.  So I guess the scar is not the worst thing that could have happened, right?  As you probably know, I’m hearing from a number of my country’s war vets returning home with shattered bodies and lives.  My advice to them is what I offer you now.  Move through the scar’s impact…with a therapist if need be.  And find within yourself the other things that make you beautiful, attractive, alluring and desirable. Who knows, you might luck out and find a scar fetishist out there who will worship you for what you find loathsome.

mastectomy_scars.jpgEmbracing and then moving past your scaring will open you to find the myriad pleasures your body can still provide you and others.  So while your body works on healing itself, your mind can do likewise.  No need to have two scars, on one your belly and another one on your psyche.  In the end you may find that flaunting your scar, like some women do with their mastectomy scars, will liberate you from feeling unattractive.  After all, that scare and misshapen abdomen are your red badges of courage, honey.  Not only do they make you distinct, but also they testify to you being a survivor.

Name: David
Gender: Male
Age: 27
Location: New York, NY
This is a rather disgusting question. I am a gay male who prefers to be the bottom. The trouble is that even if I perform an enema right before sex, I still seem to get some excrement onto my partner’s penis during sex. It just seems that the feeling of the motion back and forth inside of me causes a sensation that makes something come out. The odor is, at times, unpleasant and I, of course, am mortified. I wonder if this is a common problem and if there is anything else I can do to PREVENT this from happening?? Could it perhaps be my diet? Do I need to drink more water?

YIKES!  You sound like a real attractive guy, David.  Just kidding!

If you are douching properly before the butt fucking there shouldn’t be much seepage if any.  Maybe you’re not taking care of business correctly.  Or maybe you need to douche twice.  Or maybe you’re being fucked too hard.  I know that a vigorous fucking will introduce more air into the bottom’s rectum expanding it and making for that “OMG, I gotta take a dump” feeling.butt_fuck5.jpg

I understand you being mortified; a smelly dirty fuck is no fun for anyone.  That being said, you have to realize your bowels are working properly, so it’s not their fault.  Just remember, there will inevitably be some unpleasant side effects when rootin’ around in someone’s hole, regardless how fastidious the bottom is about his hygiene.

I’m not sure I see the connection between diet and hydration and messy fucking, but hell, I’d try just about anything to keep from embarrassing myself when my toes are pointed to jesus!

Name: Ken
Gender:
Age: 42
Location: Seattle
I recently went to get a massage with a “happy ending” As soon as the girl started to fondle me I came and I did not even have an erection yet.  I never have this problem with my wife or past girlfriends. Why did this happen? It sure cost a lot of money for about five minutes with this “lady”. Thanks

Well, let’s see…either this “masseuse” (and I use that term very loosely) was amazingly talented, or you were just real nervous about doing this naughty thing with someone other than your wife.

Hmmm, I bet it was the later.

Here’s a tip, always get the massage first…before the happy ending.  If the first thing that happens is the happy ending, then you got gypped, darlin’!

Name: Marion
Gender: female
Age: 32
Location: NYC
I’m 34 and single.  After 15 years of unsuccessful dating, searching for the right guy to marry and raise a family with, I decided to go it alone.  I’m 2 months pregnant through artificial insemination.  You’ll love this; the donor is my best gay pal.  I am absolutely delighted and cherish the thought of finally being a mother.  While a lot of the guys I’ve been dating aren’t father material, they are great sex and I don’t want to continue to enjoy their company.  I gather that it’s safe to have sex during pregnancy.  But is there anything I should avoid?  Are there specific sexual positions that better suit a mommy-to-be like me?

Hey, congratulations on the bun in the oven, darlin’.  And how true about some men being great in the sack, but not desirable husband and/or father material.  I know several gay men who have helped out a long-suffering straight and lesbian friends with the whole breeding thing.  Us “mos” are so selfless in that regard.  😉

It’s difficult to find accurate and unambiguous information about sex preg_sex01jpg.jpgduring pregnancy that doesn’t have a decidedly sex-negative bias to it.  For the most part, our culture promotes the message that sex is primarily for procreation.  Why then would any responsible mother to be continue to have sex if she’s already knocked up?  You can see where a lot of the misconceptions, misinformation and scare tactics come from, huh?

So let’s see if we can shed some light on this for ya.  As a pregnancy advances, the fertilized egg grows into an embryo and then into a fetus. The fetus is encased in and protected by the amniotic cavity.  This provides the fetus nourishment and protects it from infections.  A thick layer of mucus seals the cervix further isolating the fetus in the mother’s uterus.

If you’re having a normal pregnancy, as do most women, then there is no reason to alter your sex life during your pregnancy.  Since this is your first, you’ll not know this, but a woman who has a history of premature birth may be advised by her physician to abstain from partnered sex during the last three months of pregnancy.  In the same way, a woman with a history of miscarriage will probably be advised to avoid partnered sex in the first trimester.  Only women with high-risk pregnancies might be advised to avoid sex for the full term of the pregnancy.

Nature provides all protection the fetus needs in its mother’s uterus. So you don’t need to worry about semen or vaginal fluids coming into contact with the baby.  And the mucus seal on your cervix does not allow a penis to come in direct contact with the fetus either.  Which dispels several misconceptions right there, don’t cha know.

In terms of pregnancy related sex, I suspect that your libido will probably play a more determining role in your availability for sex than you capacity to have sex.  Your libido will no doubt fluctuate during your pregnancy, which may have a lot to do with hormonal fluctuations.  Increased blood circulation in your pelvic region will heighten sensations, but you may find your body feels too heavy to fully enjoy sex.

Most men will love your bigger tits and fuller hips, but sometimes an overriding concern to avoid any exertion on the uterus or in the vagina makes partnered sex too cumbersome.

Sex during pregnancy, like sex after menopause, is free of worry about contraception, which makes sex more enjoyable for some.  While others are too busy anticipating the new addition to be much interested in sex at all.

In terms of sexual positions, you’re gonna be the best judge of that.  No preg_sex08.jpgposition is automatically ruled out, but as your pregnancy progresses you’ll find some positions, like the missionary position, will be uncomfortable. One of the best positions might be the woman on top position. Sometimes known as the Cowgirl position.  This position takes all of the pressure off of the woman’s abdomen, and also allows her to control the speed and the depth of thrusting.

And if you are a fan of anal sex; that will continue to be a terrific option throughout your pregnancy, particularly doggie style.  Some pregnant women claim that butt fucking actually helps soothe their pregnancy induced hemorrhoids.  In your final weeks mutual masturbation may be the easiest option as well as the most satisfying sexual outlet.

Good Luck ya’ll

Feed Your Hole(s)!

In light of all the mail I’m gettin lately from both women and men asking about anal stimulation; I want to welcome you to yet another one of my Handy Dandy Sex Toy Advisories. This time: The Wonderful World of Butt Plugs!

Not sure what a butt plug is or why you would want one? Or maybe you sure enough know a butt plug from a hole in your head, but you just don’t know how to go about choosing the right one for you. Well, never fear, because Dr Dick is here And you can thank all my inquisitive correspondents and the treasure trove that is Dr Dick’s Stockroom for the heads up on these puppies.

A butt plug is an anal stimulation device that allows you to enjoy sustained anal pleasure (and prostate stimulation for the men folk) without the worry of having your toy fall out, or worse, disappear up your chute.d368

Let’s look at a typical butt plug to get a feel for how it works. Unlike most dildos and other anal toys, a butt plug is shorter and has a unique shape. The insertable part is often a tapered cone shape, designed for easy insertion and that all-filled-up feeling while it’s in place.

The plug tapers more dramatically near the base into a notch. This allows your sphincter muscle to close down on the plug keeping it firmly in place. Finally the wide base keeps it from slipping inside your bum.

Pretty gal-darn clever, huh?

But why would I want a plug in my ass? You might query. That, my friend, is a question only a rank amateur would ask. Unfamiliar with the joys of butt play, are ya? Well, here’s the 411 on anal pleasuring. Your bum is chock full of nerve ending that, when stimulated, induce intense pleasure. And a butt plug can be worn for hours at a time for a sustained dose of devilish delight.

Once you decide to give a plug a try, you’ll have loads of options to choose from. There is a slue of different sizes, shapes colors and textures. They come in several different materials. And some even vibrate. How fun is that?

Let’s look at all these options in turn.

— Start with SIZE.
If you’re new to the whole anal thing, I recommend you try something small. You’ll want an insertable length of less then 4” and a diameter of 2.5”. Feeling a bit more daring? Want to increase the insertable length and/or diameter? Knock yourself out, my friend. There are dozens of sizes available.

— Next choose a Material.
Got the dimensions you want, but not sure about what kind of material you want plugging your hole? I know that may sound funny, but it actually does matter what you insert where the sun don’t shine!

Say, Dr Dick, how do I know what material is best for me? Excellent question! See, you’re becoming a well-informed consumer already. Let me detail some of the finer points for you.

Latex — the granddaddy of sex toy material.
PLUSSES —
Inexpensive
Soft and flexible
Use with both water-based and oil-based lubes.

MINUSES —
Porous, thus less hygienic
Difficult to clean
May contain phthalates
Distinct rubbery odor

Jelly —advancements in chemistry transformed ordinary latex into even softer and more pliable jellies.b796
PLUSSES —
Inexpensive
Super-soft and flexible
Appealing translucent jelly-like appearance
Use with both water-based and oil-based lubes.
Comes in a variety of colors

MINUSES —
Porous, thus less hygienic
Difficult to clean
Probably contain phthalates
Distinct rubbery odor

Silicone — a non-latex product that come in two varieties — firm and soft.
PLUSSES —
Durable and long lasting
Easy to maintainc552.jpg
Hypoallergenic
Waterproof
You can sterilize silicone toys by boiling them
They’re bleachable
Dishwasher safe
More realistic feel
Retains body heat
Comes in a variety of colors
Less of an odor

MINUSES —
More expensive
Use only water-based lubes

Stainless Steel —it is smooth, hard and a thing of beauty.c991.jpg
PLUSSES —
Super-durable and long lasting
Nonporous
Easy to maintain
Hypoallergenic
Waterproof
You can sterilize Stainless Steel toys by boiling them
Bleachable
Dishwasher safe
Much heftier weight
No unpleasant odor
Can be warmed or chilled
Use with both water-based and oil-based lubes.

MINUSES —
More expensive
Hard and inflexible

Pyrex Glass — a hard dense glass that will not shatter or splinter. A work of art.
PLUSSES —xh600
Super-durable, long lasting
Nonporous
Easy to maintain
Hypoallergenic
Waterproof
You can sterilize Pyrex toys by boiling them
Bleachable
Dishwasher safe
Hefty weight
No unpleasant odor
Can be warmed or chilled
Use with both water-based and oil-based lubes.

MINUSES —
More expensive
Hard and inflexible

New Supersoft — a new material that’s has the closest feel to real-life skin. It can be both soft and rigid.
PLUSSES —
Less expensive
Great texture

MINUSES —
Very porous
Less hygienic
Always use with a condom
Use only both water-based lubes.
Difficult to cleanb667.jpg
Distinct rubbery odor

Rubber — An old standard!
PLUSSES —
Inexpensive
Durable, very long lasting
Waterproof
Use with both water-based and oil-based lubes.
Comes in a vast array of colors
MINUSES —
Very porous, less hygienic
Difficult to clean
Distinct rubbery odor

— Next choose Special Features.
Once you’ve decided on the material you want, you can customize your butt plug with special features like:

  • Bendable
  • Inflatable
  • Multi speed vibrating
  • Suction cup

— Next choose Texture.
Latex, silicone and rubber butt plugs come in an array of textures. Which one of these buggers will tickles your fancy?

  • Bulged
  • Noduled
  • Nubbed
  • Ribbed
  • Smooth
  • Studded
  • Swirled
  • Veined
  • Velvety
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