Search Results: Butt

You are browsing the search results for butt

the indomitable human spirit…follow up

Share

I have something extraordinary to share with you.  Here is an email I received in response to Tuesday’s posting:  the indomitable human spirit

Dear Dr. Dick,

About your post today…thank you, thank you, thank you! I appreciate your words and I love that Roman and his girlfriend are having a good time and are willing to explore options.

I am disabled. I had polio as a 13 month old baby in 1955 and use forearm crutches for very short distances and a manual wheelchair for everything else. Basically, my shoulders serve the same function as hips do for others. Due to polio, multiple surgeries and post polio muscular atrophy, I also have some reduced sensation from the hips down and a lack of control with both legs.

I am also a very sensual and sexual person. I love the physical feeling of being touched and kissed, and absolutely relish having orgasms. I love the emotional rush of planning, organizing and getting ready for a sexy time with my guy, and I love the psychological boost of knowing I am desirable.

I have found the world of BDSM to be extremely helpful to me. I have a leather bustier and thong with flames; we have a restraint system under the mattress, a flogger, blindfolds, Hitachi Wand, assorted dildos and other fun toys. While I think people may come from the womb wired for a mindset that jives with BDSM, for someone disabled in the way that I am there are definite perks. The extra levels of touch and physical stimulation in BDSM play help me build toward an orgasm. The building of mood with language throughout the day, calling my guy Master, his comments about spanking my butt after supper, laying out the clothes, choosing the toys from our toy box, lighting the candles for wax play and burning my favorite incense…all work together to get me in the mood, physically and mentally.

BDSM is so much about the focus, the connection and the attention – either using all the senses, or purposely withholding one sense or another, that many people in the BDSM world already make adaptations for personal differences in play and are acutely aware when someone responds more sensually to a quiet whisper rather than a normal tone of voice, or to the sensations of one type of clamp rather than another. In that world, individual differences are considered normal, so my differences seem to make less difference to them. I know of several couples where one or both are disabled and choose to attend BDSM functions…and frequently it is the woman or man in the wheelchair who is the Dom in the relationship.

Vaginal intercourse is difficult for me. I don’t have the muscle tone to provide adequate stimulation for my guy to reach orgasm. The adaptation for that is oral or anal intercourse. I went to my gynecologist for a frank talk about any special concerns about anal intercourse for someone in my physical situation. I also called and talked with the Dom of a BDSM dungeon to ask the same questions. He gave me some great advice and ideas, probably more specific and useful information than the doctor.

I have found the Liberator pillows to be extremely helpful for positioning and, combined with the under the mattress restraint system, there is much less problem with losing control of my legs and accidentally kicking someone. Regular bed pillows and other positioning cushions that I have tried over the years would just scoot out from under me and were usually more frustrating than helpful. With any restraint system attention has to be paid to circulation and the restrained person never left alone, but that is true whether the people involved are disabled or not.

All that being said, a sense of dedication and a sense of humor are absolute necessities! Our attitude is one of discovering how to make things work rather than questioning whether they are possible. And humor simply must be part of the process. At one point I decided satin sheets and a matching sexy gown would be a great surprise to put my guy over the moon. A friend came over and put the satin sheets on the bed for me and when my guy arrived home I was waiting in the silky nightie on those expensive satin sheets. My beloved was quite excited and reached out to gently push me over just a bit so he could join me on the bed. Odd how slick those sheets were. I went sailing across the sheets and off the other side of the bed onto the floor. We laughed until we cried.

Thanks again for helping get the word out that disability does not equate to celibacy.

Hugs,
Donna

Share

Holiday Gift Giving Guide, WEEK 4

Share

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday again and this is Week 4 of our 3rd annual Holiday Gift Giving Guide.

This week all our products come from our favorite retailer — Adult Sex Toys .com.

Sensual Mint Shower/Bath Gel —— $10.93

Dixie
I have a fantastic gift giving suggestion for anyone on your list who loves a good bubble bath or shower gel. Let me tell you about this marvelous Sensual Mint Shower/Bath Gel from the equally marvelous Canadian company, Shunga Products.

First, you should know that I’m a gal who adores her bath time. It’s precious time for just me. I bracket off as much time for myself as I possibly can. I soak, read, contemplate and often enjoy one of my favorite waterproof vibrators while in my bath. My partner, Joy, says she thinks I could live in my bath. She’s not far off base on that. I’m also a connoisseur of luscious bath products like this Sensual Mint Shower/Bath Gel.

It contains peppermint oil, vitamin E, and aloe vera. The peppermint provides the fragrance and a lovely tingling sensation, which refreshes as well as arouses. It also contains glycerin. This would be a problem for me if the glycerin were a lube and I was using it internally, but in this instance the glycerin isn’t an issue for me.

The Shunga Bath and Shower gel is available in two flavors/fragrances — erotic fruits and sensual mint. Both are editable! Joy says she can taste the mint in my skin after my bath. Listen, if I can get in my bath time, get all aroused while doing so, have my lover tell me that I taste delicious and that she wants more; well then, I’ve hit the jackpot.

Probably you are already familiar with a bath/shower gel, right? You use it like a liquid soap in the shower or as a bubble bath in the bath. It suds up very well on a washcloth and bubbles up beautifully when added to running bath water.

Sensual Mint Shower/Bath Gel contains several vegetable oils like almond oil, grape seed oil, avocado oil, sesame oil and salflower oil. All these work marvels softening my skin. And there’s never a sticky or greasy residue. The mint aroma opens up my sinuses and wakes me up.
Full Review HERE!

Champagne Lights —— $4.93

Joy
While Dixie was enjoying her Sensual Mint Shower/Bath Gel. I was busy with these two unique aromatherapy candles called Champagne Lights. I have a pink one and a green one. Unfortunately, nothing on the 4oz glass jar packaging that I have identifies the scent. I had to look online to find the answer to this perplexing question. The pink one is French Vanilla; the green one is Pear Blossom. Don’t know why my candles aren’t marked, but there ya have it.

Both candles are made from small wax beads as opposed to the more traditional solid wax. In fact, this is the first time I ever encountered such a thing. Actually, I was taken by surprise when I unscrewed the metal lid and discover the contents. Had I been a bit more careless while opening the jar I’m certain the wax beads would have spilled out all over the floor. So there’s your first word of caution when using this product; open the Champagne Lights carefully.

You may also find that you need to pound down the beads in the jar a bit before opening. Shipping the product disturbs the beads and at first I couldn’t find the wick; it had become buried under the tiny wax pellets. Curiously enough the Champagne Lights candle burn just like a regular candle.

Each candle is pleasantly scented, but nothing over powering. You don’t have to worry about them clogging the air with too much scent. They burn clean and smokeless and they last for about 12 hours. Although you’re not suppose to burn it for longer than 3 or 4 hours at a time. It says so right on the jar.
Full Review HERE!

Lussuria Rechargeable Vibrator by Vida —— $109.58

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “We’ve hit the jackpot! Seriously, in our tenure with the Dr Dick Review Crew, Kevin and I have had the opportunity to review several high-end vibes. Many of which we’ve enjoyed very much. Today I can safely say we have here with us the queen of high-end vibes.”
Kevin: “Absolutely! This exceptional beauty is the Lussuria by Vida.  Neither Gina or I had ever heard of this company before, but a quick look at their website showed us what we’ve been missing.”
Gina: “The gorgeous Lussuria is made of anodized aluminum and ultra-hygienic silicone. The color is black obsidian. Although, that’s redundant, because obsidian IS black.”
Kevin: “Maybe they’re trying to say that it is a black black, true black or blackety black black.”
Gina: “Yeah, maybe that! So besides the luxurious overall color, there is also a very stylish fuchsia piping that goes around the base. Most of the other high-end vibes we’ve reviewed were silicone over plastic. That’s nice enough, I suppose. That is until you feel the heft (over 7oz) of silicone over aluminum. Then you begin to appreciate what you’ve been missing all along.”
Kevin: “So true! The weight is in the controller end of the Lussuria. This provides a counterpoint to the insertable end of the Lussuria where the vibration is. So imagine the ribbed and flattened end of the vibe nestled against your G-spot or P-spot while having the weighted end keep the pressure on your pleasure spot. Fantastic!”
Gina: “Those of you who follow our reviews know that Kevin and I agree that most, it not all, G-spot vibes, because of their ergonomic design, are equally suited to pleasuring a guy’s prostate. The Lussuria excels at this, just as Kevin says.”
Kevin: “The slender neck on the vibe allows me to clamp down my sphincter on to it, making the Lussuria a superior butt plug. I can even do my kegel exercises with this weighted vibe in place.”
Gina: “Because the Lussuria is waterproof we can disinfect it after every use so that we both can share it. Remember, you can only use a water-based lube with a beautiful silicone toy like this.”
Kevin: “The Lussuria has five speeds and it’s extremely quiet even at high speed. The lighted one-button operation cycles through the speeds as well as turning it off, at any point, by holding down the button. And it’s fuckin’ rechargeable! They’ve thought of everything.”
Gina: “Now lets talk packaging. It’s as if the Vida people decided to throw caution to the wind with their packaging. The vibe itself comes nestled in a jet-black velvety foam cushion inside a black faux leather carrying case, with a handle. But wait, there’s more. Besides the swank carrying case there is black storage pouch that ties with a satin ribbon. This allows you to travel discreetly with your Lussuria. And all of this comes in a beautiful black (of course) tote bag. It is overkill, or just divine decadence? You decide.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

Share

Holiday Gift Giving Guide, WEEK 3

Share

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday again and this is Week 3 of our 3rd annual Holiday Gift Giving Guide.

This week we welcome back two of our favorite retailers, who always send us delightful goodies to review.

First up, a uniquely shaped butt plug from Vibrator.com. They are the purveyors of fine sex toys. Dr Dick Review Crew member, Carlos, shows us around.

Tantus Dipper —— $31.00

Carlos
I’ve been following my fellow Review Crew member’s comments about the Tantus products we’ve received for review. You can see these reviews HERE.  I’ve been hoping to get a crack at one of these beauties myself. So when Dr Dick asked me if I wanted to review the Tantus Dipper I jumped at the opportunity.

I am a huge fan of butt plugs and, over the years, I’ve collected a nice selection of prostate stimulators that I take for a ride at least a couple of times a week. Sometime I wear one or another of them for hours at a time. I love going shopping with one in my ass. The tedium of grocery shopping becomes a fun outing. I have huge smile on my face and everyone wonders why I’m so cheerful. If they only knew!

The Tantus Dipper is the perfect tool for your honey pot. And it’s a doubleheader too. You can use either end! One end is shaped like a honey dipper with loads of ridges. The other end is spherical and it pops into my ass like a single anal bead. Between the two ends is the traditional butt plug notch, a narrow neck, that allows my sphincter muscles to clap down on it, keeping whatever end I have in my hole safely in place. PERFECT!
Full Review HERE!

And now a couple toys from our friends at Adult Sex Toys .com. First, here’s Dr Dick Review Crew member, Denise.

Roulette High Roller —— $73.41

Denise
Damn, the Roulette High Roller is pink! Not your pastel pink either; more like your shockingly crazy day-glo-pink variety. Pink is not my favorite color, by a long shot, but I didn’t let the color of the Roulette High Roller get in the way of me enjoying this delightful vibe. You shouldn’t let the color get in the way either.

The Roulette High Roller has just about everything I look for in a vibrator. There is a nice texture to the beautifully soft silicone shaft. It’s waterproof! And it has a pinwheel device that adjusts the variable vibration speed. There are no vibration patterns. But from my point of view, having a bunch of vibration modes is completely overrated. Give me a good strong steady vibration, and I’m a happy gal. And the more simple the controller the better. What gives with all the elaborate control panels on vibes these days? When I use a vibrator I want to get off, I don’t want to go to the moon!

The Roulette High Roller is mighty quite too.

Because the Roulette High Roller is silicone, it’s nonporous, phthalates-free, hypoallergenic and latex-free. It’s also brilliantly easy to clean — mild soap and water will do, or wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution, rubbing alcohol or peroxide. Because it’s waterproof, you don’t have to worry about submerging it in soapy water for a thorough cleaning. This is really important to me. I’m very leery about insertable toys you can’t thoroughly clean. The Roulette High Roller comes packaged in its own reusable plastic storage box too. Good thinking, Evolved Novelties!
Full Review HERE!

Finally Dr Dick Review Crew member, Christa, has a Fun Factory vibe to show us.

Fun Factory’s Layaspot —— $57.53

Christa
This is the Layaspot by Fun Factory. It’s a sweet looking little vibe perfect for clit stimulation. It has a kick-ass ergonomic shape that straddles my mons for some hands-free pleasuring. The business end of the vibe is in the wider end, but I can feel the vibration throughout the whole vibe. This wider, flatter end fits up against my clit nicely and delivers a great full genital massage. And I don’t even have to move it around.

There are two buttons on the spine of the vibe; one marked + and one marked —. These regulate the eight levels of vibration and three pulsation modes. I found operating these little buttons a problem. Turning it on and off isn’t particularly difficult, but it takes a lot of finger strength to keep the buttons depressed long enough to switch the vibrations modes. I didn’t like that.

The unit is only 4” long, made of a hard plastic with a softer skid-resistant coating. The package says it is phthalates free, hypoallergenic and latex free. The Layaspot is powered by a couple of AAA –batteries. But getting into the battery compartment is if bitch. Who designed this, some he-man? I wound up having to use my mother’s jar opener to open the Layaspot. Closing it properly is also a challenge. I thought I had it right till the plastic battery compartment top popped off during use. D’oh! Ok, so that was my fault.

The Layaspot is not waterproof; they say it’s splash proof. What exactly does splash proof really mean anyhow? It tells me the manufacturer couldn’t bother to make a watertight seal on the toy, that’s what it says to me. I figure a toy is either waterproof or it’s not. Splash proof shouldn’t be a selling point, IMHO. Listen, maybe this isn’t a big thing for others, but it is for me. Not just in terms of use, but also in terms of cleaning. A vibe that costs near $60 should, I think, be waterproof. That is if you ask me.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

Share

Holiday Gift Giving Guide, WEEK 2

Share

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday again and this is Week 2 of our 3rd annual Holiday Gift Giving Guide.

This week we welcome back two manufacturers we’ve reviewed before — Digital Playground and System JO. To view the previous reviews for these two companies, just search for their names using the search function in the header.

JO H2O Flavored Sweet Pomegranate —— $15.07
JO H2O Flavored Tangerine Dream —— $15.07

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “Gosh, it’s been a whole month since Kevin and I posted a review. Where does the time go?”
Kevin: “And we’ve back at it with a bang too, because we have a couple of nice personal lubes to tell you about. They are flavored water-based lubes from System JO. I have no idea what that name means, but the lubes we have are great.”
Gina: “I can’t figure out the name either, nor have I ever heard of this company before. But it is clear that they know what they are doing, both in terms of product development and packaging.”
Kevin: “The two flavors we have to show you today are — H2O Flavored Sweet Pomegranate and H2O Flavored Tangerine Dream. They are just two of the half dozen or so flavors available.”
Gina: “These fruity flavored lubes are all latex safe (think condoms) and non-staining. They hold up really well in terms of consistency, even with vigorous use. I didn’t notice any stickiness or tackiness, which is often the downfall of other water-based lubes we’ve tried. You should also know that both of these products contain parabens and glycerin. Now, that’s not a problem for me necessarily, but I know that a lot of other people want, and often must, avoid these dubious ingredients. If you are one such person, you’ll need to avoid these products.”
Kevin: “I was impressed with the taste of each, which kind of surprised me. I’m not one for flavored stuff that masks the raw taste of sex. But, like I said, these were fine; although the Sweet Pomegranate is really sweet. There wasn’t any cloying after taste though. Maybe that’s because these products don’t contain artificial sweeteners.”
Gina: “Yeah, sweeteners in a lube would be a disaster. Just think of the yeast infections. Like I said above, I really like the packaging. It’s playful and stylish all at the same time. And the packages are color-coded to match the flavor.”
Kevin: “I liked the unique pop-top lid. It makes for easy one-handed use. That probably doesn’t sound like a big thing, but it is. I hate having to totally interrupt the action just to handle a bottle of lube.”
Full Review HERE!

JO Premium Women —— $22.39
JO H2O Women —— $11.66

Joy & Dixie
Joy: “We’re back with two more amazing products from the System JO people. You probably saw the reviews we did just a couple of weeks ago for their Clitoral Gel, right?”
Dixie: “I should mention from the start of this review that both Joy and I are total lube snobs. I figure ya gotta be since there is so much questionable stuff on the market these days.”
Joy: “Absolutely! Listen, folks you need some standards when it comes to products that you will use on and IN your body. You certainly don’t want to be at the mercy of unscrupulous manufacturers. Be informed and choose your products wisely; it’s the only way to protect yourself.”
Dixie: “The two products we have today are very similar. The JO Premium Women is a silicone-based lubricant; the JO H2O Women is the water-based product. Both were developed for women by women and contain vegetable-based glycerin as opposed to animal-based glycerin. This should waylay any concerns some might have about yeast infections associated with animal-based glycerin.”
Joy: “While we’re on the topic of ingredients, I should point out that the JO H2O Women product contains parabens. Again, some women may be sensitive to that. Parabens, as you may know, are preservatives and you can’t have a water-based lube without some kind of preservative, because it will go bad.”
Dixie: “What’s so remarkable about both the JO Premium Women and the JO H2O Women is that they both feel so much alike. Both are very slick and slippery. Both feel like silicone. The JO Premium Women for obvious reasons, it is silicone-based after all. But the JO H2O Women is nearly identical in its consistency. And both last and last.”
Full Review HERE!

Pirates Pendant Vibe – Black —— $19.99

Karen
When I got home from Dr Dick’s with our monthly allotment of review products I was arranging the booty on the dining room table when my partner, Jack, came in the room. “Look what we scored this time,” I proudly announced as I waved my hand over all the goodies. The only thing I was unclear on was the Pirates Pendant Vibe. I mean, I understood the pendant vibe part; I just couldn’t figure out the pirate part. Jack had to tell me about the Digital Playground movie series, Pirates.”

Ok, I confess, porn is not my thing; I’ve never really been interested. But that’s fine, because Jack consumes enough porn for the both of us. And apparently, from the way he went on and on about Pirates, it’s one of his favorites.

While I can’t be accused of being a fan of the movies, I do count myself among the fans of the Pirates Pendant Vibe. It’s a kicky little bullet vibe that doubles as a pendent jewelry. Once Jack filled me in on the theme of the movies, I understood the fun pirate designs that decorate the vibe.

It is remarkably quiet, very discreet and attractive in its own way. The vibe has multiple vibration patterns, five to be precise. And you cycle through them with the one-touch button situated at the top of the vibe. It is amazing on my clit.
Full Review HERE!

Janine’s Pirates Cove Rocket —— $34.99

Jada
I’ve never seen any of the Digital Playground Pirates movies, so the packaging for Janine’s Pirates Cove Rocket was pretty much lost on me. Don’t get me wrong; it’s stylish and the model on the cover, Janine, in her pirate rig is very sexy and not in an off-putting way either.

The Pirates Cove Rocket is also attractive. It’s molded from what appears to be hard plastic, but it has a cream-colored coating on it that makes it pleasantly soft to the touch. I couldn’t find any information on the materials used in this product either on the package or the Digital Playground website. However, the package does say that it is phthalate free.

In keeping with the theme, the Pirates Cove Rocket is decorated with an abundance of what looks like those temporary tattoos you sometimes see in the stores. Of course, the images include a traditional scull and crossbones, an anchor and crossed pirate sabers, but there’s also hearts, a fish, flowers and stars. It’s a very busy design that will, no doubt, appeal to some. The base of the vibe is encrusted with rhinestones to further the pirate treasure theme, I guess.

The Pirates Cove Rocket is powered by two C-batteries, which are not included in the package. This adds a nice heft to the vibe and also makes for a more powerful vibration that lasts for a longer time than what smaller sized batteries could offer. The Pirates Cove Rocket also has three speeds and two variable vibrations. I confess to being impressed with the level of vibration, but the one button operation, at the base of the vibe, leaves a great deal to be desired. They’ve thoughtfully included a black satin storage/travel pouch too. It’s the kind of special touch you’d find with a more expensive vibrator, so I thought it was interesting that the manufacturer decided to go the distance with this product.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

Share

Dr Dick’s Sex Positive Doctrine

Share

No podcast today; instead there’s this…

Have you ever wondered about the term, sex positive? If you’re like me you see it all over the place, especially on sex-related sites. I confess I use it way more often than I should. It’s become one of those industry buzzwords that has, over time, become so fuzzy around the edges that it’s now virtually meaningless. In fact, if the truth be known, I believe the term sex positive has been taken over by the sex Taliban who have made it a cover for their strict code of political correctness. Oddly enough, this is the very antithesis of its original meaning.

If you want to shame someone in the sex field—be it a sex worker, blogger or adult product manufacturer—you label that person as sex-negative. You may not know anything about that person other than you were offended by something they did, said or made. But still, you hurl the epithet as if you were exorcising a heretic. This is a very powerful tool for keeping people in my industry in line. But I’ve begun to wonder, who is setting themselves up as the arbiter of what is and what is not sex positive? I have to ask: What is the agenda? I mean, could compulsory ideological purity of some artificial standards of thought or behavior be “positive” anything? I say, no!

Like all good ideas that have gone bad due to overuse—or worse, sloppy use—the sex positive concept once had meaning that was life-affirming and enriching. Sex positive has been in the lexicon at least since the mid-1950s. It frequently appears in journals and research papers to describe a movement that examines and advocates for all the other beneficial aspects of sex beyond reproduction.

I’ve been using the term since 1981 when I opened my practice in Clinical Sexology and Sexual Health Care. The opening words of my mission statement read: “I affirm the fundamental goodness of sexuality in human life, both as a personal need and as an interpersonal bond.” Way back then, I was flush with my quixotic pursuit to stand steadfast against all the cultural pressures to negate or denigrate sexuality and pleasure. I dedicated myself to spreading the gospel that healthy attitudes toward sex not only affect a person’s sex life, but his/her ability to relate well with others.

This came relatively easy for me, because I’d learned something very important about evangelization in my life as a Catholic priest. (Another quixotic pursuit, but we’ll have to save the details of that misadventure for another time.) One of the first things one learns in seminary is how to proselytize, to sow the seeds of a creed, and then nurture them taking root by endless repetition of the articles of faith. Of course there is a downside to this, too. Repetition fosters mindlessness, stifles creative thought, and worse makes things boring.

But the creed statements of the world’s three great monotheistic religions are masterful works of theological art.

Barukh ata Adonai Eloheinu Melekh ha’olam!
Allaahu Akbar!
In the name of the Father, and of the Son and the of the Holy Spirit!

Each contains the most profound kernel of religious truth the believer needs to know, but all are easy enough for a child to learn. And like I said, the secret is in the repetition. For the true devotee, these creedal statements are uttered dozens of times a day and to great effect.

Early on in my career as a sexologist, I decided to put the principles I learned in the Church into disseminating my new belief system. First, keep the message simple! I settled on: “Sex is Good—and Good Sex is Even Better.” This has been my mantra for decades. It contains everything you need to know about being sex positive, but it’s easy enough for a child to learn. Even now, I close each of my podcasts with this same article of faith. To this day it soothes me to hear myself say these words. And it comforts me in the same way blessing myself did in my priestly days.

Despite my apprehensions, I continue to be an apostle of the sex positive doctrine. I know that even though my industry has corrupted the concept, others have yet to hear the good news. And there’s something almost spiritual about seeing someone grasp the idea for the first time. Let me tell you about one such instance. Some while ago I was asked to offer a workshop for a group of doctors on the topic: Health Care Concerns Of Sexually Diverse Populations. Unfortunately, just a handful of doctors attended the workshop—which was pretty disconcerting, considering all the work I’d put into the presentation. I guess that’s why kinksters and pervs, as well as your run-of-the-mill queer folk, are often frustrated in their search for sensitive and lifestyle-attuned healing and helping professionals.

Since the group of doctors attending was so small, I decided to ask them to pull their chairs in a circle so that our time together could be a bit more informal and intimate. Frankly, I’ve never found it easy talking to doctors about sex; and discussing kinky sex was surely going to be very tricky. So, I decided to start off as gently as I could. My opening remarks included the phrases “sex positive” and “kink positive.”

Sitting as close to my audience as I was, I could see at once that these fundamental concepts weren’t registering with them. I was astonished. Here was a group of physicians, each with a large urban practice. Could they really be this out of touch? I quickly checked in with them to see if my perception was correct. I was right! None of them had heard the term, sex positive. The two who hazarded a guess at its meaning thought it had something to do with being HIV+. I had my work cut out for me.

I decided to share my creed with them. “Sex is Good—and Good Sex is Even Better.” I asked them repeat it with me as if I were teaching a catechism to children. Surprisingly, they did so without resistance. After we repeated the mantra a couple more times, I exposed them to the sex positive doctrine unencumbered by political correctness.

  • Sex Is Good! Sex is a positive force in human development; the pursuit of pleasure, including sexual pleasure, is at the very foundation of a harmonious society.
  • And Good Sex Is Even Better! The individual makes that determination. For example, what I decide is good sex for me, may be boring sex to someone else. And their good sex may be hair-raising to me. In other words, consensual sexual expression is a basic human right regardless of the form that expression takes. And it’s not appropriate for me, or anyone else, to call into question someone else’s consensual affectional choices.
  • Sex Is Good! Everyone has a right to clear, unambiguous sexual health information. It must be presented in a nonjudgmental way, particularly from his or her health care providers. And sexual health encompasses a lot more then just disease prevention, and contraception.
  • And Good Sex Is Even Better! The focus is on the affirmative aspects of sexuality, like sexual pleasure. Sexual wellbeing is more than simply being able to perform. It also means taking responsibility for one’s eroticism as an integral part of one’s personality and involvement with others.
  • Sex Is Good! Each person is unique and that must be respected. Our aim as healing and helping professionals is to provide information and guidance that will help the individual approach his/her unique sexuality in a realistic and responsible manner. This will foster his/her independent growth, personal integrity, as well as provide a more joyful experience of living.
  • And Good Sex Is Even Better! Between the extremes of total sexual repression and relentless sexual pursuit, a person can find that unique place, where he/she is free to live a life of self-respect, enjoyment and love.

Finally I told them they ought to think creatively how they could adapt this concept to their own practice. It was up to each of them to make this creed their own. As it turned out, this primer was just the thing to open my planned discussion of health of kinksters.

In a way this experience was a bit of a spiritual reawakening for me, too. Despite my misgivings about the contamination of the sex positive doctrine by malicious people bent on using it as a weapon against those they disagree with. I can’t tell you how refreshing it was to watch these sex positive novices hear, and then embrace, the message for the first time. It was nothing short of a religious experience.

Share