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Learning to ride

Hey sex fans!

We’re all back from Spring Break. Did you miss us? We sure missed you. So ok, let’s get this ball rolling again with a timely question from one of my correspondents.

Name: Drew
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Location: Boise
I’m gay, I’m a virgin, and I think I may be afraid of sex. In all the porn I’ve seen, the bottom guy looks uncomfortable and in pain, why would I want that? I’ve only done anything sexual with one guy and I was so anxious that I couldn’t even get up. I liked the guy, he was hot, and I enjoyed all the fore-play type stuff, but I just couldn’t do anything else. Any advice on how to get over this?

First thing, don’t ever look to porn for your sex education; you will surely be misled. Second, that grimace that you report seeing on the bottom’s face as he is being penetrated, may be a grimace of pleasure not pain. I think you are projecting your own discomfort on the guys in the movies.

Let me tell you a little story. The other day I was walking in the park with Ginger the dog. Actually, I was trying to walk like a normal person, but she was pulling me along like a maniac. We were both, in our own way, enjoying some beautiful spring weather and the sights, sounds and smells nature in its glory. As we walked along we encountered a father and son who were seriously involved in what appeared to be the kid’s first lesson in riding a bicycle…without training wheels. Despite the father’s patient encouragement the kid couldn’t seem to get the hang of it. He would start out ok, but just as soon as his dad let go of the back of his seat the boy would wobble and eventually crash. There were plenty of tears, a skinned knee and the boy’s fear and anxiety was thick enough to cut with a knife. It was quite a scene.

The kid was convinced that he didn’t have what it took to ride on his own. His defeatism fueled itself and became a self-fulfilling prophecy. He finally gave up. Sat down on a bench, his bike in a tangle at his side, and refused his father’s pleading that he try again. In the kid’s mind the bike was the enemy another attempt would only hurt and humiliate, and so the lesson ended.

What the kid lacked was self-confidence, a sense of adventure and probably more importantly — balance. I wish I had had an opportunity to suggest to the boy and his dad, that they might try another ploy. I wanted to say, set the bike aside and work on that balance thing first. This would surely increase the boy’s confidence and it wouldn’t cost a blow to his ego or his knee. And it would be fun.

I would have suggested the dad start by helping the kid walk on 4” curb, balancing himself as he went. Then the dad could increase the challenge to include balancing on one foot, then the other. Once the kid discovered the power within him to accomplish these tasks, the bike could be reintroduced. The father would assist the boy in drawing upon his skill in balancing on the curb to master balancing on his bike.

The same will be true for you, Drew. Sex is nothing to be afraid of. Rather it is a skill that one learns. Some, obviously, take to it quicker than others, but everyone can learn a happy, healthy sexual expression that will build self-esteem and bring great pleasure.

I want you to start exploring and enjoying your bottom on your own. Like the kid in the park, you need to acquaint yourself with the powers that lie within you. He needed to find a sense of balance within himself; you need to find the Big Old Butt Pirate within yourself.

Most all of the discomfort in butt fucking is associated with your sphincter muscle trying to resist whatever it is being inserted in your ass. When this muscle resists to the point of spasm things can become very painful. So here’s what I want you to do.

  • First, before you start playing with your hole — relax. Just like the kid in the park would have needed to calm himself before attempting to balance on the curb. The same is true for you.
  • Take a relaxing shower, a warm bath, and/or try some deep breathing exercises to center yourself.
  • Have a ready supply of a water-based lube handy. Silicone-based lubes are swell for these exercises too. However, oil-based lubricants aren’t recommended for use with a condom.
  • Start with a little self-pleasuring. Stroke your dick with your lubed hand and get into your happy place.
  • Gradually slather some of that lube on to your balls and taint. With legs open wide find your hole and play with your rosebud. Gently massage the area around your asshole, but don’t side your fingers in just yet. Simply get used to the feelings of playing at the opening of your ass.
  • Let your play include the tip of your finger entering your ass.
  • If you do this while you’re stroking your cock, you will find that your hole will actually open and invite your finger. That’s the great thing about pleasuring one part of your body while learning to pleasure another.
  • Once you are comfortable with your fingertip inside, try pushing it in further and move it around a little. Try pushing it and pulling it out of your ass. Ya know, like finger-fucking yourself.
  • Find your prostate. It shouldn’t be hard to find if you’re all horned up. It will feel smooth and hard, like a flat stone.
  • Give that puppy a nice gentle massage. If you’re still stroking your wood, don’t be surprised if this prostate massage gets you to bust your nut. In fact, you will find that your prostate actually enlarges a bit and becomes more firm just as you are about to shoot.
  • As you jizz you will also notice that your sphincter muscle will tighten around your finger and pulsate with each squirt

Continue these self-pleasuring exercises until you are comfortable inserting a couple fingers in your ass. Then try a small vibrating dildo. In no time at all you will be ready to jump on your bike and ride…so to speak.

With these exercises behind you, no pun intended, the first time you actually fuck with a partner will be the incredible experience it is meant to be. If you encounter any discomfort you’ll know what to do — deep breathing to relax and priming your hole with a lubed finger or two.

  • First, attend to your personal hygiene. Make sure you’re clean inside. We don’t want any unsightly and embarrassing mishaps to mess up the big event.
  • Remember to take it slow. There’s no rushing pleasure. And you’ll be the one in charge of what goes in your ass, when and for how long.
  • Warm up with some foreplay, kissing, sucking, licking, rimming touching and massaging.
  • Have condoms and lots of lube near to hand.
  • While you’re warming up, start loosening up your ass with your lubed fingers, just like in your self-pleasuring exercises.
  • Once you’re comfortable offer your ass to your partner. Have him replace your fingers with his own. Try some swell finger-fucking first.
  • Once you’re relaxed and loose, lie on your side with your partner behind you. Have him slowly push his cock against your rosebud.
  • Try pushing out like you are trying to take a dump. This will help open up your sphincter for his entry.
  • As he enters you, have him stop so that you can breathe deeply. Give your ass the time it needs to adjust to the new sensations. If there’s pain or discomfort have your partner reverse course and go back to finger fucking before you proceed.
  • Make sure that your partner knows that if you ask him to stop; he will stop. Trust is very important in butt fucking.
  • As he fills you with his dick he will hit your prostate. This will send waves of pleasure through your body and signal your sphincter to open for even more.
  • You may find that you’ll even want to push your ass back to meet and engulf his cock.

By the time this happens you will happily discover that you are ridding your bike all by yourself. And you will be very happy.

Good luck

Oh sweet mystery of life at last I found you

In lieu of Product Review Friday, we have some interesting Q&A about sex toys.

Name: Tadd
Gender: Male
Age: 31
Location: Arizona
In one of your podcasts you told some guy about a strap on kit he could buy for his GF. Could you repeat that? I’ve been trying to find one.

I responded to an inquiry from Karol from Poland a while back. He asked about a strap-on kit. I told him: “As to your question about a strap-on and what a guy should know about buying one for his female partner. I suspect the overriding concern for the amateur butt pirate is to get his gal a comfortable harness that can accommodate a couple different sized dildos. I suggested that he turn his attention to the Dr Dick’s Stockroom banner in the sidebar. I told him to click through there and search for the Bend Over Beginner Harness Kit (B664).  The good people at Dr Dick’s Stockroom have painstakingly put together everything you need for your first pegging!”

  • Is there someone in your life who is curious about strapping it on, but doesn’t know quite where to begin? Well, we have the perfect starter kit! Everything a beginning sensuous player would need to strap it on is included in this package (except their favorite water-soluble lubricant – sold separately).
  • This strap-on harness is low-riding with a fuzzy, deep purple velvet front and highly adjustable nylon straps. The kit has 2 color coordinated, shimmery purple dildos. These hypoallergenic silicone dildos are shaped and sized appropriately for those just beginning anal play adventures. The smaller is approximately 4″ long and 3⁄4″ wide, while the larger one is 5″ long and 11⁄4″ wide.
  • A powerful variable-speed mini-vibe sits in a secret pocket behind the dildo to give the wearer an extra jolt of fun. The straps are adjustable, fitting up to 50″ hips. The 1.5″ O-ring can be exchanged for play with other sized dildos (sold separately). Washable, smart, and sexy. Bottom line – this is one hot strap-on package!

Name: Gary
Age: 58
Location: Tampa
I’m a widower; my wife of 29 years died a little over a year ago. I’m just now getting back into the swing of thing. The sex I had with my wife was very conventional now I want to try something different. I want to go to a dominatrix. I’ve always had a fantasy about a woman owning and punishing my privates. It’s a big turn on. Is there anything I should know about this?

I love it, another kinkster in the making. Coming out as a perv, in my opinion, is better done late than never. My first suggestion is that you find a better term for your privates than “privates”. You sound like your mommy. I suggest cock and balls, it pretty much says it all very succinctly.

Have you done your homework in terms of finding the right dominatrix? I suppose you have at least a couple in mind, right? Might I suggest that when you make contact with one or another of these professional women that you be very specific about what you want and how you want it. You can ask for some hot CBT (cock and ball torture). Ya see, knowing the right vocabulary will often expedite your getting precisely what you are looking for.

Here’s a tip…a good submissive, or sub — that’s you, Gary, will want to bring his dominatrix, or dom a little gift to start things off on the right foot. May I suggest this little number: A Male Chastity Kit (B702). Look for it in the Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

  • The CB-3000 represents the latest design in modern male chastity devices from the same designers who invented the best-selling CB-2000 and The Curve. Some customers wanted a size mid-way between the CB-2000 and The Curve. The manufacturers listened to our customers’ requests and have allowed us to bring you this exciting new male chastity device.
  • The natural flow of lines in this model represents the cock and conforms to the body. The slim, smooth lines permit the CB-3000 to be worn easily under clothing. It is slightly vented with curving lines and custom openings for comfort and hygiene. The material, a highly durable transparent polycarbonate, is functional and appealing, and its strength exceeds that of acrylic and many other plastic blends.
  • Some men find it possible to use the urinals while wearing the CB-3000, though most find it more practical to sit. When locked with a plastic lock, the device will not set off metal detectors in airports or at other security checkpoints. So it is possible to wear the device 24/7 without interfering with travel or business routines. (Just make sure to use the plastic lock and not the brass lock under these circumstances.) This compact design involves no uncomfortable belts, straps or chains.
  • The CB-3000 consists of two main parts, the cage portion (inside length 3″ – inside diameter 1 3/8″) and the cuff ring. They easily slide together by means of two guide pins and a locking pin. The guide pins extend from the cage portion. Different-sized spacing rings are provided to allow a personalized fit.
  • The five rings included in the kit have inside diameters of 1_”, 1 5/8″, 1_”, 1 7/8″, and 2″. Once you find the right spacing, simply use a pair of side cutter pliers to snip the ends of the guide pins and then smooth the edges with an emery board or file. The locking pin is slightly recessed into the body cuff.
  • The Body Cuff comes in five different sizes, and swivels open at the bottom so that it can be closed easily around the cock and balls. Align the locking pin holes with the locking pins on the main part of the cage, add the proper amount of spacers, and then install the cage portion. The balls will then be trapped between the cuff and the cage. The smooth, rounded design minimizes pinching and chafing while being worn.
  • Finding the right-sized Body Cuff is extremely important for reasons of comfort and security. It should be as tight as possible without cutting off any circulation. If you are wearing a cuff that is too tight, it will cause some swelling and discoloration of the ball sac. If you see any discoloration, or experience numbness or aching discomfort, you definitely need to go to the next larger size. If you have a particularly high (short/tight) ball sac, you may find that you will need to stretch the ball sac slightly before the CB-3000 becomes comfortable and suitable for longer-term wear. For the most comfortable fit, the balls should hang below the cage and cuff ring. to prevent pinching.
  • I highly recommend applying baby oil/gel (or a similar product) to your cock with a cotton swab after showering. This practice allows your willie to move naturally up and down in the cage portion. Then you should be able to wear it 24/7 for indefinite periods of time. Some people have kept it on for months.
  • The CB-3000 kit includes the following: One brass padlock with 2 keys, 5 individually numbered, tamper-proof plastic locks, 3 different lengths of locking pins and 5 differently-sized spacers.

Good luck

KISS My Ass

Hey Sex Fans!

Product Review Friday is comin’ your way and today we have another outstanding insertable from our very good friends at: Crystal Delights. Today’s pleasure product is not the first Crystal Delights product we’ve reviewed, no siree! I reviewed one back in February, 2010. You can see it HERE!

Today’s review is brought to you by Dr Dick Review Crew members Jack & Karen.

The Kiss —— $99.95

Jack & Karen
Karen: “Even though both Jack and I are relative new-cumers to anal play, we both need to warm up for a full on ass-ult. But now that we’re no longer rank amateurs we both really get into it once we’re loosened up a bit. I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating. Originally, I offered up my butt to please Jack. I didn’t think there’d be much in it for me, but I was willing to give it a try for him. Boy, was I ever mistaken. I swear, I’m getting the lion’s share of the pleasure when Jack fucks me back there.”
Jack: “I totally love her for trying anal, just for me. And because she did it just to please me, I figured it was high time for me to do the same. We did our homework too. We also watched a couple of educational and enrichment videos on anal play; that really helped us too.”
Karen: “So true! The videos made a point of stating that the warm-up part of the play is essential if the person hopes to enjoy his/her rear entry adventure.”
Jack: “One of the most effective ways of warming-up is by using a butt plug. And we now have a new addition to our growing collection. Allow us to introduce you to the exquisite Kiss.”
Karen: “That’s the perfect word for the Kiss; it’s exquisite. It’s like jewelry for your butt hole. No, I mean it! This beautiful glass plug, (hand blown Pyrex mind you) with the stunning red swirls is the perfect size for the novice butt pirate. It is approximately 1.5” wide, at it’s widest, and has an insertable length of about 3”. The teardrop shape of the insertable end tapers down to a half-inch stem before it flares again to the base. And the base is studded with a genuine Swarovski crystal. The whole thing is no more than 3.5” long so anyone can enjoy it.”
Jack: “This important; the shape that Karen just described is classic butt plug. Once the teardrop shaped end of the Kiss is popped in you pooper, your sphincter muscles clamp down on the thin neck and this action holds the plug in place. And there’s never a worry that it will accidentally slip inside. The base is too big for that. It also means that you can wear this puppy for hours at a time. There’s no discomfort, just pleasure, pleasure, pleasure!”
Karen: “Because the beautiful Kiss is Pyrex glass it’s nonporous. It is easily cleaned and sanitized so that we can share the toy. We simply wash it in soapy hot water, then wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution. We’d boil it or pop it in the dishwasher, as we do out other find glass toys, but the Kiss has that stunning crystal in its base and we don’t want to disrupt that.”
Jack: “Another great feature of a high-quality glass insertable, like the Kiss is that you can use any type of lube you want with it. We’re found of silicone-based lubes, so that’s what we use. And here’s a tip; just a little dab of lube will make the Kiss super slick.”
Karen: “I want to repeat something Jack just said. The Kiss is very comfortable to wear. In anticipation of some hot backdoor action with Jack, I simply insert the plug in advance of our play together. Wearing this thing for even 30 minutes makes my rump hungry for more.”
Jack: “She’s like totally primed for my dick when play time begins. And I’m totally ready for her strap-on when it’s my turn to give up my ass. And don’t forget, you can warm or chill glass for an added sensation.”
Karen: “The Kiss comes in a stylish padded pouch that folds upon itself and secures itself with elastic bands. It’s a very classy presentation and it would make the perfect gift.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

Overcoming a Fear of Sex: A Step-By-Step Process

All phobias can be overcome with some effort. The same is true for conquering a fear of sex. Here, I walk a young gay man through his trepidation with anal sex. We take simple, easy to accomplish steps to build confidence and dispel his apprehensions.

I’m gay, I’m a virgin, and I think I may be afraid of sex. In all the porn I’ve seen, the bottom guy looks uncomfortable and in pain— why would I want that? I’ve only done anything sexual with one guy, and I was so anxious that I couldn’t even get it up. I liked the guy, he was hot, and I enjoyed all the foreplay type stuff, but I just couldn’t do anything else. Any advice on how to get over this?
Drew

First thing—don’t ever look to porn for your sex education; you’ll surely be misled. Second, that grimace you report seeing on the bottom’s face as he is being penetrated may be a grimace of pleasure, not pain. I think you may be projecting your own discomfort on the guys in the movies.

Let me tell you a little story. Recently I was strolling in the park with my dog. We were each, in our own way, enjoying the sights, sounds and smells of nature in its glory. As we walked along, we encountered a father and son who were deeply involved in what appeared to be the boy’s first lesson in riding a bicycle—sans training wheels. Despite the father’s patient encouragement, the kid couldn’t seem to get the hang of it. He’d start out okay, but just as soon as his dad let go of the bike, it would begin to wobble and the boy would eventually crash. There were plenty of tears, a skinned knee, and the boy’s fear and anxiety were thick enough to cut with a knife.

The boy was convinced that he couldn’t ride on his own. His defeatism became a self-fulfilling prophecy. He finally gave up, sat down on a bench, his bike in a tangle at his feet, and refused his father’s pleading to give it another try. In his mind, the bike was the enemy; another attempt would only hurt and humiliate, and so the lesson ended.

What the kid lacked was self-confidence, a sense of adventure and probably more importantly—balance. I wish I’d had the opportunity to suggest to the boy and his dad that they try another ploy. I wanted to say, “Set the bike aside and work on that balance thing first.” This would surely increase the boy’s confidence, and it wouldn’t cost a blow to his ego or his knee—and it would be fun.

I’d have suggested the dad start by helping the kid walk on curb, balancing himself as he went. Then the dad could increase the challenge to include balancing on one foot, then the other. Once the kid discovered the power within him to accomplish these tasks, the bike could be reintroduced. The father would assist the boy in drawing upon his skill in balancing on the curb to master balancing on his bike.

The same will be true for you, Drew. Sex is nothing to be afraid of. Rather, it is a skill that one learns. Some, obviously, take to it quicker than others, but everyone can learn a happy, healthy sexual repertoire that will build self-esteem and bring great pleasure.

I want you to start exploring and enjoying your bottom on your own. Like the kid in the park, you need to acquaint yourself with the powers that lie within you. He needed to find a sense of balance; you need to find the Big Old Butt Pirate within.

Most all of the discomfort in anal sex is associated with your sphincter muscle trying to resist whatever it is being inserted. When this muscle resists to the point of spasming, things can become very painful. So here’s what I want you to do.

  • Before you start playing with your hole—relax. Take a relaxing shower, a warm bath, and/or try some deep breathing exercises to center yourself.
  • Have a ready supply of a water-based lube handy. Silicone-based lubes are swell for these exercises too. However, this type of lube isn’t recommended for use with a condom.
  • Start with a little self-pleasuring. Stroke your dick with your lubed hand and get into your happy place.
  • Gradually slather some of that lube on to your balls and taint. With legs open, find your hole and play with your rosebud. Gently massage the area around your asshole, but don’t slide your fingers in just yet. Simply get used to the sensations at the opening of your ass.
  • Let your play include the tip of your finger entering your ass.
    If you do this while you’re stroking your cock, you will find that your hole will actually open and invite your finger. That’s the great thing about pleasuring one part of your body while learning to pleasure another.
  • Once you are comfortable with your fingertip inside, try pushing it in further and move it around a little. Try pushing it and pulling it out of your ass. You know, like finger-fucking yourself.
  • Locate your prostate. (It shouldn’t be hard to find if you’re all horned up.) It will feel smooth and hard, like a flat stone. Give it a nice gentle massage. If you’re still stroking your wood, don’t be surprised if this prostate massage gets you to ejaculate. In fact, you will find that your prostate actually enlarges a bit and becomes more firm just as you are about to shoot. As you jizz, you’ll notice that your sphincter muscle will tighten around your finger and pulsate with each squirt.

Continue these self-pleasuring exercises until you’re comfortable inserting a couple fingers in your ass. Then try a small vibrating dildo. In no time at all, you will be ready to jump on your bike and ride…so to speak.

With these exercises behind you—no pun intended—the first time you actually fuck with a partner will be the incredible experience it is meant to be. If you encounter any discomfort, you’ll know what to do: deep breathing to relax and priming your hole with a lubed finger or two.

  • First, attend to your personal hygiene. Make sure you’re clean inside. This will help you avoid an unsightly and embarrassing mishap that might mess up the big event.
  • Remember to take it slow. There’s no rushing pleasure. Remember, you’ll be the one in charge of what goes in your ass, when, and for how long.
  • Warm up with some foreplay, kissing, sucking, licking, rimming, touching and massaging.
  • Have condoms and plenty of lube near at hand.
  • While you’re warming up, start loosening up your ass with your lubed fingers, just as you did in your self-pleasuring exercises.
  • Once you’re comfortable, offer your ass to your partner. Have him replace your fingers with his own. Try some finger-fucking first.
  • After you’re relaxed and loose, lie on your side with your partner behind you. Have him slowly push his cock against your rosebud.
  • Try pushing out like you are trying to take a dump. This will help open up your sphincter for his entry.
  • As he enters you, have him stop so that you can breathe deeply. Give your ass the time it needs to adjust to the new sensations. If there’s pain or discomfort have your partner reverse course and go back to finger fucking before you proceed.
  • Make sure that your partner knows that if you ask him to stop, he will stop. Trust is essential.
  • As he fills you with his dick he will hit your prostate. This will send waves of pleasure through your body and signal your sphincter to open for even more.
  • You may find that you’ll even want to push your ass back to meet and engulf his cock.

By the time this happens you will happily discover that you are riding your bike all by yourself.

Good luck!

Havin’ us a ball, ya’ll!

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday. And we have another toy for your bum to tell you about. It came to us directly from the manufacturer, Nexus. This is the fourth and last of our review of these unique Nexus products.

You have been following all our Nexus reviews, right? If not, you’re missing out. You can find them all HERE!

Dr Dick Review Crew members, Mick & Chuck, are here to tell you all about today’s toy.

Titus by Nexus —— $62.70

Mick & Chuck
Mick: “We have an interesting prostate massager to tell you about today. It’d called Titus. It’s a the slimmer cousin of the Nexus Excel, which was reviewed here earlier.”
Chuck: “I wonder how they came up with that name. It’s the name of a Roman emperor, ya know. What that has he to do with pleasuring your bung-hole is beyond me.”
Mick: “Yeah, I thought it was an odd choice too, but maybe there’s a method to their madness. Hey, maybe it’s named after the guy who came up with the design; ya know like Titus O’Rilley, or Titus Kawalski. Whatever the reason for calling it Titus we oughtn’t lose sight of it’s curious, yet very effective, shape. It’s curved, it’s ribbed and it’s slim enough for even a novice butt pirate to use with confidence.”
Chuck: “Titus is made of medical grade polypropylene, which is a fancy word for ‘hard plastic’. There also a stainless steel ball bearing on one side of the base. This ball bearing smacks ya right on your taint (perineum) when the Titus is lodged in your ass. The other side of the base is your handle. You use this for inserting and for maneuvering Titus into place.”
Mick: “It kinda works like a butt plug, but it really doesn’t stay in place as well as I would have liked it to. I mean, it’s great if I’m sitting on it, but not if I’m standing up or moving around.”
Chuck: “ I liked the ergonomic shape and the ribbed surface on insertable stalk. The ribbing added some extra stimulation when inserting and removing it.”
Mick: “The thing I like most is the dyno-mite orgasms I have with the Titus. I just insert this puppy, sit down on it, rock back and forth and pull my pud. In no time I’m bustin’ a nut of cosmic proportion!”
Chuck: “Totally! Oh, and it’s waterproof too. So you can lounge in the tub with thing in your hole. I mean come on; every guy winds up playin’ with his willie while he’s having a soak, right? So why not have something massaging your prostate at the same time.”
Mick: “We should also mention that the hard plastic material is nonporous, phthalates-free, hypoallergenic and latex-free. And you can use any kind of lube you want with it. And by all means, do not forget the lube when you’re stuffin’ this, or anything else in your ass.”
Chuck: “Being waterproof also makes it a snap to clean. Soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. But you can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution. There’s a little tool that comes in the package for popping out the ball bearing for a sanitizing cleaning. This toy is made for sharing, so sanitizing is important. We’ve simply dropped the Titus in a pot of boiling water or popped it in the dishwasher for that total sanitizing effect.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

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