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Backdoor Basics – Tutorial for a Bottom

The Last Of My Winter Workshops!

(Let’s pretend it’s not happening two weeks into spring.)

When: 04/03/14 — 7PM to 9PM
Where: Foundation For Sex Positive Culture — 1608 15th Ave W. Seattle, WA 98119 — The Annex
Who: Anyone 18+ with ID
Cost at the Door: $25 Advance prices: $20 for Individuals, $35 for Couples and $50 for Triads.

Purchase your tickets HERE!

***Space is Limited So Get Your Tickets NOW!***
This workshop is open to all regardless of gender, orientation, or relationship status.

Learn the ins and outs of anal pleasure in this tutorial primarily directed toward the bottom. But don’t be butt_fuck5.jpgsurprised to discover lots of tips for the novice top too. Anal play is a source of curiosity for many, but it’s often surrounded by fear that it’s gonna be painful, or worse-messy. This class will address those issues and put them to rest.

We’ll cover a wide variety of topics, including:

  • Anal anatomy
  • Preparation and hygiene
  • Lubes, toys, and condom use
  • Beginner booty play
  • All-important warm-up techniques
  • Anal sex myths and misconceptions
  • And so much more!

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Remember, everyone has a butt; why not learn how to relax and enjoy yours!

There will be lots of adult product to giveaway too.

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Bottoms UP!

Name: Chris
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Location: San Francisco
Dr. Dick- Wow, may I say this is a fantastic site. It is good to see sex as an open topic and that its not only an allowable activity, it is a good activity to take part in. I’m 23, gay, and living in beautiful San Francisco (the perfect place for a 23 year old gay boy to be!), and your tutorials have taken my blowjob and power bottoming skills from that was good to wow lets do that again!

If I may make one suggestion: in the Liberating the Big Old Bottom Within guide, I personally recommend that anyone who wants to bottom get to know the fiber aisle at the grocery/drug store. I find that it helps to keep things squeaky clean longer.

But the question I had was about orgasms while bottoming. Is there any technique that you know of that would help me reach orgasm while bottoming without having to touch myself. I almost reached that point last night while experimenting with some new moves in the sac … but I was wondering if there were any, er, exercises I could do on my own to reach there with my partners (playing safely of course).

Yes, you may say this is a fantastic site. You can say that over and over if you like. All kidding aside, thank you for your very kind words.

grab assAnd I’m hoping you are enjoying the site’s new look. While our logo remains the same, I recently reconfigured the pages. Of particular note, is the Podcast Archive drop-down menu. Now you can go directly to each of my four podcast series: The Erotic Mind, SEX WISDOM, Sex EDGE-U-cation, Play With It shows. The Q&A shows are lumped under the general heading, Podcast.

As before, the toy reviews tab takes you to adult product review site. The Video Library tab takes you to Dr Dick How To Video Library, just as it always has. And the About Dr Dick page is also a drop-down menu, which contains the contact page, the Got A Sex Question page, the Therapy Available page and The Buzz page.

Sadly, I had to deactivate the Lick-A-Dee-Split sex advice podcast VOICEMAIL HOTLINE. It was underused and it was very expensive.

You will also notice that the site’s sidebar has been cleaned up considerably. The clutter is gone and I think it looks really nice as is. So ya’ll, go take a look and see what you think. Send me your comments after you’ve had an opportunity to look around.

Ya know, Chris, I was just about your age when I moved to the Bay Area. I finished my undergraduate degree in the spring of 1972 in Washington, DC. Later that year I moved to Oakland to begin my graduate work in Berkeley. I remember thinking to myself back then, OMG, I’ve fallen into a pot of jam. Leaving a very conservative school in the nation’s capitol, I found myself, almost immediately, on the other end of the political spectrum on the other side of the country. The world began to open for me. Berkeley was magical and my life changed immediately for the better.

In 1978, at the age of 28, I moved to San Francisco to begin work on my doctorate. It was like a dream come true. While I was living in Oakland, I would cross the bay bridge several times a week just to soak up San Francisco’s uniqueness. I used to think as I crossed the bridge and approached the city. My god, what a beautiful site! While I thought Oakland was great, I was happy not to have to commute any longer. To finally reside in the city I loved so much felt like I had died and gone to heaven.pegging147

The 70’s and early 80’s were the halcyon days of my youth. Oh to be young and gay and to live in San Francisco at that time. I wouldn’t exchange that experience for all the tea in china. I decided way back then that I would open myself to as many life-expanding experiences as presented themselves. For the most part, I was served very well by this philosophy. Of course, there were plenty of unsavory experiences that I would never want to relive, but even they were full to the brim with helpful information about me, my sexuality, my growing eroticism, as well as and the rest of the world around me. As I look back I have no regrets and lots of very happy memories.

I thought I would reside in the jewel by the bay for as long as I lived. I had surely found home. But as fate would have it, that didn’t happen. I left San Francisco for Seattle in 1999, after nearly 30 years in that amazing place. Now I look back fondly on that transformative time. The life lessons I leaned there continue to serve me well even now. I am immeasurably richer for the time I lived and loved there.

Boy, that got me way off message, huh? Sorry about that. It’s just that your email got me to reminiscing about being young and gay and living in San Francisco.

OK, on to your concerns. First, let me ask you to add your thoughts on the importance of fiber intake for the aspiring BOB (Big Old Bottom) in the comments section of that very posting. Would you do that for me? As much as I appreciate you offering your pearls of wisdom to me, I think all of our audience would benefit. Don’t you agree? The beauty part of a site like this is the cumulative knowledge and insight of all who visit there. I can’t do this all on my own, don’t cha know!  And remember, butt fuckin’ ain’t just for the gays anymore.  Straight men are discovering the joys of their prostate too.

I have a lot to say to your question about prostate orgasms while bottoming. And I would like to begin by saying that, while prostate orgasms are possible for some of us, not all of us will ever experience one. I’m not sure one can actually train himself to have one of these illusive orgasms at will. But what I can say for sure is, that this will never happen unless one is fully prostate aware.

daddy's boysHow does a fella become fully prostate aware, you might ask. Good question. I suppose that would start with an intimate familiarity with your anatomy. Do you know how you are put together “down there?” You sound like a clever lad, so maybe you are. If you’re not, my site has lots of important information. Look for Male Reproductive System in the CATEGORY section of the sidebar.  It falls under the main category — Sex Therapy.

Knowing and loving your prostate is the next step in this process. Prostate massage is where you will begin. You can do this with your fingers, a dildo, or a specialized “tool” like one of the prostate massagers that you can find at drdicksextoyreviews.com. Use the CATEGORY drop-down menu in the sidebar that site. Look for Prostate Massage, and presto!

There’s one final thing you’ll need to master and that is Kegel exercises. If you are unfamiliar with these and/or why you need to practice these exercises, you can read and/or listen to all the posting — written and podcast, I’ve made about this very important regimen. Just look for Kegels in the CATEGORY drop-down menu in the sidebar of drdicksexadvice.com. You will find this subcategory under the main category — Sex Therapy.

I’d be very interested in hearing from you again. I’d like to know how you are cuming along in your quest for the illusive hands-free orgasm. And don’t forget to use the comments section on any of the postings. I want you to share your insights with all of us.

Good luck

Vanity, Vanity, All Is Vanity

Hey sex fans!

Look, a new edition of Product Review Friday is comin’ your way. This week we bring you a toy from the Jopen Vanity line. This is actually one of California Exotics’ high-end toy lines. And California Exotics is, is as you probably know, one of this county’s oldest adult toy manufacturers.

Let’s check in with Dr Dick Review Crew member, Jada, to see what she has for us.

Vanity Vr15  ——  $170.99

Jada
When Dr Dick asked me if I wanted to review the Vr15, yet another stylized rabbit vibe, I said; “sure, why not!”

Rabbit vibes, both the traditional design and the newish stylized designs, have been a mainstay in the adult marketplace for just about as long as there has been an adult marketplace. I would love to meet the person who first came up with the design. And I would be willing to bet every dollar I have, and every dollar I ever hope to have, that the designer was a guy. Here’s why I say that.

I took it upon myself to do an informal survey of some of my women friends about their masturbation habits. I know we’re not supposed to talk about that, even with our close women friends, but a surprising number of women responded to my little survey. Of the two dozen women who responded, not one of them said that they inserted anything, not even fingers, into their vagina when they masturbate; at least not on a regular basis. It’s always all about the clit! Now I know, I know, this is not a representative sample and I suppose there are women out there who do insert something, fingers included, into their vagina when the masturbate, but I can’t help wondering what the percentage might be.Vanity Vr15

At the same time, if I were to give two dozen guys the task of designing a pleasure toy for women, I’d be willing to guess that the vast majority, if not all of them would design an insertable. Why? Because they have an insertable dangling between their legs and every guy knows where their insertable goes for pleasure. I suspect that most men can’t imagine a woman pleasuring herself without something that either looks exactly like a penis or faintly resembles one. Thus the proliferation of dildos. and their gussied-up cousin, the rabbit vibes. Doesn’t that sound a little weird to you? It sure does to me.

There is also the fact that most men frown on having their women use a phallic shaped instrument on themselves when they are having partnered sex. That doesn’t come as a huge surprise. I guess that’s why toy designers started stylizing the rabbit away from the obvious phallic design to something more like the Vr15.

So what is the Vr15 and what is remarkable about it? It’s an insertable with a “rabbit” arm, but instead of ears, there’s a tiny mouth for clitoral stimulation. It has two motors—shaft and rabbit. It’s powerful, but quiet. It’s waterproof, rechargeable and its skin is 100% latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic silicone. All those things are wonderful and add to the pleasure, but nowadays most, if not all, high-end vibes feature the same things.

Unlike other similar vibes, the Vr15 features a shaft that feels like it’s rotating under the skin, as opposed to vibrating. Remember the old rabbit designs that featured rotating beads in the shaft? It’s like that. It’s multifunctional with varying speeds. Again, all very nice, if you like that sort of thing.

It’s almost 5 inches in circumference at its widest point. The shaft then tapers towards the top and at its slimmest it’s about 3 inches in circumference. The tapered head makes for easy insertion while working your way up to that wider circumference. The total length of this toy is 8.5 inches.

I think it is important to add here that the Vr15 would work just as well as an anal toy. And because it is so easy to sanitize, (I’ll get to that later) I say why not?

The minimalist packaging, for such an expensive product, surprised me, but I liked it. It also comes with very nice storage bag.

It’s easy to use. The two-button control panel, in the handle, controls the rotation and vibration. The top button controls the shaft and the bottom button controls the rabbit. To activate the rotating shaft, press the top button once. To increase the speed, just hold it down. Press one more time to turn it off. The same is true for the rabbit, but, as I mentioned, one uses the bottom button to control it. The shaft and arm can be activated simultaneously.

The Vr15 is travel friendly because controls lock. To lock and unlock depress both buttons simultaneously for 4 seconds. That’s a very thoughtful feature.

The Vr15 has a rechargeable premium lithium ion battery. It also features LED charging and power lights.

I had some difficulty using the Vr15 on myself. It just didn’t seem to fit right. Once inserted, the “rabbit” didn’t quite connect with my clit. And if I tried to angle the vibe to attend to my clit, the inserted shaft was uncomfortable. And I don’t think I cared all that much for the rotation sensation. I’m pretty sure I would have preferred vibration.

Because it’s both waterproof and made of silicone cleanup couldn’t be easier. Mild soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize for sharing. After you wipe it down rinse in warm water and let it air dry.

Be sure you only use a water-based lube with a fine silicone-skinned toy like this. A silicone-based lube will mar the finish.”

Here’s my quarrel with the Vr15. Despite the wonderful features the price point is out of this world. There are dozens and dozens of high-end rabbit style vibes on the market. Many, if not all, offer the same features. I mean, just use the search function in the sidebar and type in “rabbit.” You’ll be presented with an array of vibes, some with traditional designs, and some with stylized designs. None of which costs $171.00.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

A Rose By Any Other Name

We’re all back from spring break. The Dr Dick Review Crew is all rested and relaxed. Sadly, I can’t say the same thing about me. oh well, no rest for the wicked.

Doc:

I enjoy your podcast, the frankness and open vocabulary is exactly what I like. No need in beating around the bush, just get to the point. Wish more people would live by that philosophy.

Ok. I am a 45 YO, gay male, very experienced sexually, some say whore… LOL! I enjoy a lot of fetishes; the unusual has always been very attractive to me. The more bizarre the more I will probably like it.

Until I was about 40 I was a DOM top. I started experimenting with the group party world and enjoyed it greatly. Became an experienced fisting top with some formal training, I guess you could call it an apprentice who graduated, or so I thought. Then a few of the FF bottoms suggested I was missing something. Because I didn’t have any experience as a FF bottom I couldn’t realize the true feelings and emotions involved with fisting. I was encouraged to experience fisting as a bottom.

This was a HUGE ordeal for me. The mental change alone was like, wow. The first time I crawled into a sling and had my whole ass on display, legs spread like a woman at her gynecologist…man was I uncomfortable. This was 5 years ago. Now I can hop into a sling and take a fist-fuck fairly easy. I now understand the advice given to me: I finally understand what fisting is all about.

Now my issues.

I have changed. My whole personality has been altered. Changing from a Dominate Top to fisting bottom has created issues with my head and overall sexuality. These changes are now affecting my sex life. I guess I need some help figuring things out.

Thanks,
Jimmy

Thank you, Jimmy, for your message and your kind words about my podcasts.

We really get boxed in with all our self-identification we do, huh? I mean I know why we categorize ourselves and others as gay or straight, top or bottom, sub or Dom. It helps us understand ourselves and communicate in a kind of shorthand with others. But there is a downside to this, as you suggest.sex sling

I believe that human sexual response is a whole lot more fluid than we give it credit for. But this fluidity is often stifled when we overly compartmentalize ourselves or others. Not to mention the fallacy of the binary system — being one thing or the other.  It just ain’t so and you are the perfect case in point.

I’m always talking about how the best tops are those who, on occasion, bottom. The best submissives are those who, on occasion, dominate. Besides the wider range of experience this provides us, we also grow in emotional maturity encompassing both our yin and yang.

Also the words we use to describe ourselves have, over time, become heavily laden with unintended cultural connotations. Top/bottom, sub/Dom are classic examples of this. That’s why I believe that we ought, from time to time, reinvent the language we use to talk about ourselves. In this case, I prefer terms like: giver/receiver over top/bottom. A change in vocabulary can certainly cut through a lot of the cultural nonsense and it can open the door to a more fluid sexual expression; as I believe it ought to be.nekkidbookclub

I hasten to add that at lot of hard-core pervs disagree with me on this. And that’s perfectly fine with me. It’s just that, if our language detracts from our experience, or hems us in, rather than facilitates it, and frees us up, something’s out of whack.

You will pardon the shameless self-promotion, but I’d like to call your attention to my latest book, The Gospel of Kink. It’s a communication and relationship building workshop in workbook form. It centers on the skills us kinksters need to communicate with others, and initiate, build, and maintain the relationships that will serve us well. Learn how to ask for what you want and get what you ask for from the people best situated to fulfill your desires. The book covers a lot of the territory that you raise in your question.

Stay in touch and let me know how this sits with you.

Good luck

Spring Break, Bitches!

We’ll all be on Spring Break till Monday 04/14/14.

 

…of course my break won’t begin till after my Backdoor Basics Workshop on Thursday, 04/03/14.  I hope you join me for tons of fun and loads of adult products to giveaway.

 

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