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Awakening Your Sensual Self Post Cancer

Name: Doug
Gender: Male
Age: 58
Location: San Diego
HI: I need some help. I had my prostate removed due to prostate cancer. I feel I have lost my man-hood. I don’t experience hard-ons anymore. My penis is dead. Can you recommend something to help me?

It’s truly uncanny; in the past week alone I’ve received similar email from four different people. Each had a very different presenting problem, but all were experiencing very similar sexual issues. Get this, I heard from a woman in Japan who is recovering from a radical mastectomy. I heard from a guy in San Francisco who is recovering from a serious meth addiction. A young wife and mother in North Carolina whose husband, and father of her two kids, has returned from Iraq a basket case…and now you, Doug.prostatecancer_600x450

Its astonishing that, despite the dramatic differences in each of your life stories, all of you report pretty much same thing — you feel less than whole, disconnected from your sexuality and devoid of any real intimacy or meaningful sexual outlet. It is so amazing how, despite our unique individual difficulties, there are often a universal response to life’s troubling complexities.

Regaining a sense of your sexual-self after prostate surgery, or any of the other problems I mentioned above, is an arduous, but rewarding task. With your self-confidence in the toilet and zero libido to boot, I suggest that you begin your rehabilitation by connecting with others similarly challenged as you. In your case, it will probably be other cancer survivors. More likely than not, they will be a whole lot more sympathetic to your issues and attuned to your predicament. Sometimes, people who have yet to experience a life threatening disease or a disfiguring surgery don’t have a clue about how to interact with those that have. It’s not their fault, it’s just the way things are.

I suggest looking into a support group, if you haven’t done so already. Once you make that connection, you will find, that you are not alone. Other people similarly challenged as you are experiencing many of very same things you are. And to my mind, it’s way much easier to face and handle life’s difficulties when surrounded and supported by others.

AGDD_front coverOne word of caution; my experience is that many disease-based programs and support groups shy away from intimacy concerns. This is a real tragedy, because this is the one aspect of healing that consistently remains unaddressed by the medical profession. That is way I included an entire chapter about the intimacy and sexual needs of chronically ill, elder and dying people in my book — The Amateur’s Guide To Death and Dying; Enhancing the End of Life. I encourage you to check out the book; it’s loaded with amazing sex-positive information.

Next I suggest that you first try connecting with people on a sensual level as opposed to a sexual level. I firmly believe in massage as the best say to accomplish this. Think about it. Imagine the good you’ll be able to do for others, as well as yourself with therapeutic touch. And, to my mind, therapeutic touch also includes sensual touch. It will soothe so much more than the jangled nerves and disrupted muscle tissue caused by radical invasive surgery. It gives the one doing the touch a renewed sense of him/herself a pleasure giver, which is totally important to us all. And when you receive the touch, it will begin to reawaken sensory perceptions you thought were lost for good. And your libido as well as your erection will bloom again. I promise. Here’s a tip: to keep that stiffy goin, I encourage you to use a cockring.

Now if you feel your massage skills aren’t up to par, why not take a class or workshop in massage. You might want to look to something like the Body Electric School Of Massage. They have load of training options. And learning is a hands-on experience. What could be more liberating than that?

If a class is a bit too intimidating at first, you might consider purchasing a book on massage. A great primer is: Male Erotic Massage by Ray Stubbs, Ph.D.  This is a holistic approach to bodywork, including the sexual and the spiritual aspects of Male Erotic Massage. There are over 200 photographs in this volume that reveal both massage techniques and the beauty of the male body embracing the male body. The strength, the joy, the gentleness, the ardor, the tenderness, the equanimity, the pleasure — they are all included.

Another title is: Erotic Massage, The Touch of Love also by Ray Stubbs, Ph.D.  This is a more inclusive volume of erotic massage. It describes long, flowing strokes for the whole body, including female and male genitals. By the way, this was the very first massage book to explicitly illustrate genital massage. The techniques described are simple and easy to perform. It’s superbly illustrated, and the text is both tender and playful.Massage

Finally, your gift of massage is the ideal way to connect with another human, be it a friend, a family member, lover, or even a stranger. Your touch can be either seductive or non-seductive, or maybe a little of both. You can count on this purposefully touching to open new doors. You’ll discover new pleasures, both subtle and profound, as you give as well as receive touch.

I encourage you to push beyond the isolation I know you are feeling, Doug. Purposeful touching, like massage, will change your perceptions about sex, sensuality, and intimacy. And like I said, it will also resurrect your boner. I know this can happen. I’ve seen it happen. Doug, now it’s your turn to make it happen!

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Tickle & Tease

Hey sex fans!

Here it is Friday again and not only that, but it a Product Review Friday to boot. Today we welcome a new manufacturer to our review effort — Toyfriend.

And here to tell us about her new toy friend is Dr Dick Review Crew member, Jada.

Coney by Toyfriend —— $47.06

Jada
I’m back for yet another year of reviewing with the Dr Dick Review Crew. I joined this effort back in August of 2008 on a bit of a whim. I never thought that I’d continue beyond my first review, which I did as a favor to Richard.

Over the years I’ve learned so much about the adult products industry. And it’s been quite an education, let me tell you. I’ve had the dubious pleasure of reviewing some remarkably crummy stuff, but I’ve also reviewed products that I continue to use year after year. I was even lucky enough to review one of The 10 Best Products of 2012. coney

Not too long ago a woman friend from work confided in me that she was considering buying a vibrator. It was to be her first sex toy. She was absolutely flabbergasted when I launched into my spiel about what to look for and what to avoid. I guess I forgot myself for a moment, because when I stopped blabbing I could see the astonishment in her face. “How do you know so much about this?” She asked. I wasn’t about to blow my cover, so I just shrugged my shoulders a bit and told her I read a lot of women’s magazines. Afterward, I felt a little sad that I couldn’t, or more likely wouldn’t, tell her about this review gig.

Anyway, this brings me to today product, a sweet and somewhat comical vibe from a new toy company called Toyfriend. It’s name is Coney.

Had I the presence of mind, when I was talking to my friend about what to look for in a vibrator, I would have said; “You ought to take a look at the Coney. It’s a really good beginner’s vibe.” It has a lot of the features that I think are important in a personal vibrator. Chiefly among them is it’s make of high-quality, latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypo-allergenic silicone. Second, it’s waterproof. Third, it’s moderately priced.

So let’s take a closer look at Coney, shall we? The first thing I noticed was its whimsical shape. It has two long ears that are perfect for teasing and tickling your clit and nipples. When I first open the modest packaging I thought this has got to be some kind of gag novelty toy. The marketplace is flooded with such things. But once I put it through its paces I realized my first impression was wrong. There is nothing cheap or crummy about the Coney.

The vibe is battery operated. I generally prefer a vibe that is rechargeable, but I see where sometimes that’s not a practical option. The Toyfriend people thoughtfully included the first set of two AAA batteries with the toy. Thank you, Toyfriend. That little kindness sets you apart from just about all your other competitors.

The vibrations are of moderate strength; this is not going to knock your socks off. That’s why I call it a teaser and tickler. It’ll help get your motor started, so to speak.

The Coney looks like a stylized rabbit. I already mentioned the elongated ears. The surface of the vibe is silky smooth to the touch. The toy is well constructed; I would say it has to be since it is waterproof. The battery compartment is easy to get to and easy to unscrew. No wear and tear on tired or arthritic hands. It also comes with a Lucite stand to keep it upright between uses. It is so charming!coney-2

A single button on the bottom of the toy controls the vibrations. Press it once to start the vibrations. Pressing additional times will move it through its five vibration patterns. To turn it off, hold the button down for two seconds.

Read Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

Backdoor Basics at Wild At Heart

Hey sex fans!

Particularly those of you who are living in and around the Emerald City. I have some swell news for ya’ll. I’m scheduled to present one of my most popular workshops at Seattle’s very own woman owned sex emporium, Wild At Heart.

The title of the Workshop is
Backdoor Basics

Sunday, December 16, 2012 7:00 PM

Ticket information HERE!

Learn the ins and outs of anal pleasure in this introductory class to backdoor fun. Anal play is a source of curiosity for many, but often surrounded by fear that it’s gonna be painful, or worse- messy. This class will help answer those questions and put those fears to rest.

We’ll cover a wide variety of topics, including:

  • Anal anatomy
  • Preparation and hygiene
  • Lubes, toys, and safer sex
  • Beginner booty play
  • All-important warm-up techniques
  • Anal sex myths and misconceptions
  • Sex Toy giveaways
  • and so much more!

We all have one, lets relax and enjoy it!

This workshop is open to all regardless of gender, orientation, or relationship status.

Workshop attendees also get a 15% discount on any store merchandise while they’re at the workshop.

This workshop is based on my wildly popular tutorials — Liberating The B.O.B. Within and Finessing That Ass Fuck.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Join me this weekend at…

That’s right, Sex Fans, I will be at the Northwest Women’s Show!

Look for me at the HEALTHY LOVING INSTITUTE Booth #1422.

Stop by and say hello.  There will be fun games and lots of prizes.

Damn-near Perfect

Hey sex fans,

We’re finally back from our all together too brief winter break to bring you the very first installment of our Product Review Friday for 2012. And we have the pleasure of welcoming back some old friends — the good people at WE-Vibe.

I mention this because our first WE-Vibe review was among the very first reviews we ever did, way back in August of 2008. You can find it HERE!

We raved about the WE-Vibe way back then and it also topped our Best Products Of The Year List that year. So let’s just see if this third incarnation of the original is as good as it’s hype.

And for that we check in with Dr Dick Review Crew members, Jack & Karen.

WE VIBE 3 —— $156.99

Jack & Karen
Karen: “Happy New Year everyone! Gosh, it’s so good to be back with the Dr Dick Review Crew. And to think we’re breaking in the new year while having the honor of introducing you to the marvelous WE VIBE 3 to boot. Well it doesn’t get any better than this.”
Jack: “Absolutely! What a way to launch 2012. Karen and I weren’t around when our colleagues, Kevin and Gina, wrote their review of the original WE-Vibe. But we certainly read it when we got involved with this effort. They had such a unique take on the product. If you haven’t read it; you sure oughta.”
Karen: “We intend to match Gina and Kevin’s genius; so here goes. The WE VIBE 3 is a vibration device that is used internally during penetration. That in itself is revolutionary. Picture for a moment the WE VIBE 3 inside a vagina. It is designed to deliver its powerful vibrations to both the G-spot and the clitoris. It is, of course, fully waterproof and come with a slim remote control. It’s brilliant I tell you.”
Jack: “And if you’re the lucky gent who is slipping and sliding in and out of that vagina Karen had you picture in your mind; well then you are also benefiting from the vibration and there’s the girth of the WE VIBE 3 that makes for a tighter fuck. Win, win and win!”
Karen: “But wait there’s more! There are no batteries; the WE VIBE 3 is rechargeable, which makes my heart sing. It comes with its own, covered induction recharge stand; it’s both discreet and very stylish. It’s perfect for travel. The WE VIBE 3 offers three kinds of stimulation, and it’s completely hands-free!”
Jack: “This gets me to my next point. The WE VIBE 3 is not only for penetration sex, no siree. Once I saw the potential of an insertable vibe with a remote control all bets were off. Soon our trips to the supermarket and the Home Depot became adventures in surprise sex. The WE VIBE 3 is super quiet, so Karen could be standing in a check-out lane talking to the casher, me right next to her, when all of a sudden she breaks out into a huge grin and she throws back her head a bit from the pleasure. The casher probably just thinks she on acid. Secretly pleasuring Karen in public, while standing next to her, is a total kick. I tell you, the contact pleasure for me is amazing.”
Karen: “He’s not kidding. I feel like a naughty schoolgirl. This has really spiced up our sex life. It’s so comfortable to wear that I wore the WE VIBE 3 all evening at the New Year’s Eve party we went to. I had the time of my life. Of course, the Champaign didn’t hurt. At one point, Jack gave the remote to a friend of ours. When I saw Jack go outside to chat with friends, I figured I was safe from a sudden burst of pleasure. But my clit jumped to attention when Jack’s friend, who was standing right next to me, jolted me out of my revelry.”
Jack: “The people who make the WE-Vibe have been committed to producing the very best, revolutionary hands-free vibrator for use during sex since it’s first model. But with each new model they outdo themselves. The We-Vibe 2 added variety; they improved the control button and added vibration patterns. Now the WE VIBE 3, features a 40% power increase and a longer battery life (2 hours per charge).”
Karen: “This jewel has two motors connected by a firm yet flexible neck. All this is in a u-shaped lightly textured vibe that fits in the palm of your hand. It is coated in a seamless body-safe, odorless, tasteless silicone. Because it’s waterproof it can be completely sanitized with bleach or in either boiling water or the dishwasher. So clean up is a breeze. And it comes in your choice of three lovely colors.”
Jack: “Because it is made of silicone, you must only use a water-based lube with this beauty. All the WE VIBE 3 packaging, although very attractive, is completely recyclable. Who says being socially conscious has to be dull?”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

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