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Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered!

Name: Jean
Gender: female
Age: 36
Location: New Haven, CT
I’ve been with the same man for 14 years. We both decided to become Christians about a year ago. Now he’s not interested in sharing the same bed and not interested in having sex with me. It tried to overlook this hoping it was some kind of phase, but it goes on and on and he still doesn’t want sex. He’s the only man that could ever satisfy me sexually. I dated a few guys, four to be exact, before we met. I still love this guy but he won’t acknowledge my feelings. I feel like I’m losing everything, my best friend, my partner, my lover …and my sanity. I’m happy we’re still together, but I’m frustrated to the point of exhaustion without my sex life. Any ideas what I could do to turn this around?

What an unhappy tale of woe you have you have to tell, Jean. The Christian conversion thing didn’t quite work out like ya thought, huh? Well maybe it has less to do with Christianity per se, and more to do with the Joe you converted with.

I’ve heard similar complaints from other people whose partners have unilaterally decided to make a radical life-change for themselves. Often these new zealots fail to appreciate how their life altering decisions impact on the wellbeing of their mate. And because they are so damn single-minded about their new passion — as every zealot is, there is rarely any talking to them.

Two former clients come to mind. First, there was George, a gay man in a 10-year relationship with this other really sweet guy, Robert. Eight years into the relationship Robert had a heart attack. Despite a full recovery and living a much healthier lifestyle after the hear attack, Robert got it in his head that if he were to have sex again, it would kill him. There was no reasoning with him. No sex ever again, period. This otherwise blessed relationship ended painfully. Pity that!

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Another client, Melissa, discovered long-distance running two years into her marriage to Allen. She became like a woman possessed. Running consumed her. Her career, her friends and family, her social life all suffered. But no one took the brunt of her newfound craze more than her husband. At first sex was out of the question because there was no time. Then all that body-punishing running radically changed her metabolism. She even stopped menstruating. Her libido virtually expired. Even the imminent demise of her relationship didn’t alter her running routine. So basically old Melissa just ran away from her marriage. Simple as all that!

In your case, Jean, your partner appears to have bought into the some of the worst sex-negative messages of Christianity. I suspect that there’s no turning this around and, unless you wish to continue to sacrifice your sexuality on this unworthy altar, I’d suggest you make peace with the fact that life will never return to how it once was.And what’s all this about he being the only man who could satisfy you? You’ve had only 4 other partners, for christ sake! And most, if not all, were crummy lovers. Am I right? You’re not the kind of gal that quits shopping for shoes after trying on only 5 pair, are you?There is a whole world of men out there that would be happily give you what you aren’t getting at home and some of them may even be good lovers. If no accommodation can be made with your husband about fulfilling your needs, than I suggest you beat a hasty exit.The longer you stay in this unhealthy environment the greater the chance will be that you will become more and more embittered. God gave us the gift of sexuality for a purpose. It was meant to give us pleasure and enhance life. Your sexuality is in danger of becoming just the opposite of what nature intended. Do yourself a favor and choose life and happiness. You’ll be glad you did…so will God.

Name: Pete
Gender: Male
Age: 22
Location: Ohio
dr dick: I am gay and i have no idea how to break it to my family. and they say all the time when they see a gay guy look at that fag glad he’s not my kid. i would disown him. just wondering if u could help me.

Ain’t it a bitch being surrounded by a bunch of yahoos! Coming out is rarely easy, but doing so to ignorant, fearful, bigoted people is the worst.

Pete, you should know that all bigotry is deeply rooted in the bigot’s own fear about him or herself. It stands to reason, all irrational fears and hatred, like homophobia, are more indicative of the troubled psychological make-up of the one with the prejudice, rather than the people he or she abhors.

Often people will use religion to back up their prejudice. It’s particularly galling when non-religious people do this. But it’s safe to say that authentically religious people don’t need to persecute or ostracize those who do not believe as they do. Any more than authentically heterosexual people need to persecute or ostracize people of other sexual persuasions. Let that be the standard by which you judge the worth of any message coming from a religious dogmatist or a moralizing heterosexual.9e.jpg

Before you start in on the self-disclosure thing with your family, Pete, I suggest you first try to clear a path for that discussion. Begin by challenging those around you who shame or denigrate those who are different. Ask them why they make such ridiculously uninformed and hurtful statements. Ask them if degrading other people makes them feel superior. And if it does, what does that say about their inadequacies. You could suggest that their intolerance of gay and lesbian people proves they have some hidden, unresolved sexual issues that they need to address. I mean — “me thinks you doth protest too much” — and all that, right?

If your family environment doesn’t improve with that tactic, you may find that, at least in the short run, discretion is the better part of valor. Sometimes coming out to one’s family is best done only after you’ve come out to friends and co-workers. This strategy will provide you a bank of support that you can fall back on if the family disclosure things turn out badly.

My counsel to those just starting the coming out process is to reserve the good news about you and your sexuality for the audience best situated for receiving it. Celebrate your queerness with open-minded people first. Nowadays there’s much more acceptance of alternative lifestyles in the popular culture then ever before. Particularly younger people seem to have more tolerance for diversity. But however you choose to handle this difficult but important developmental task, don’t sink to the lowest common denominator. Don’t cave into the bigotry that surrounds you. Don’t let it intimidate you into a life of shame, repression or self-loathing. Live authentically. Pete, and live proud! Because when you do, you are a shining example of a happy, healthy, integrated and well-adjusted human being.

Finally, just remember you are not alone. Sex positive and gay positive organizations abound. If you need help with any of your coming out, if you’re feeling isolated and alone — turn to one of them. They are there to help. And there are even support organizations for your family members too. Turn them on to: PFLAG (parents and friends of gays and lesbians).

Name: Bob
Gender: Male
Age: 54
Location: Laguna Beach
As an older man, I’ve started having performance problems. Unfortunately there’s no decrease in my libido. I think some of my problem is psychological. I’m also HIV+. And I find myself worrying about transmission even with condoms. But some of the problem is physical. I do wear a cock ring and that helps I guess. Is there anything else I can do to increase my performance to match my libido?

Your concern is a familiar one, Bob. Men regularly present this problem in my private practice and I also have a personal familiarity with the issue in my own life.

Diminished performance, at least in terms of a perpetually stiff dick, is a natural occurrence as we age. There was a time when I thought this was a major problem. I don’t think like that now. These days I’m helping my older clients (and myself) appreciate the full range of sensuality that is the unique purview of us more seasoned lovers. I’ve always felt that as gay men we are too genitally focused, especially when it comes at the expense of all the other pleasure zones our bodies have been gifted with.p.jpg

The rushed, hormonally driven sex of my youth has matured into a slower, more relaxed and sensual sexuality that I am thoroughly enjoying. This has been one of the very best gifts of the aging process. It’s even having an effect on my younger partners and they are appreciative.So I no longer equate performance with a stiff dick. For those times when I absolutely need a rock-hard hardon a cock ring does just fine. I’m aware that I may need more time to achieve this kind of erection, but I’m not just twiddling my thumbs while I’m waiting, if ya know what I mean. I am no longer frustrated by this natural phenomenon, because I no longer have unrealistic expectations.

I realize that many men are experimenting with an erection-enhancing medication such as Viagra, but I suggest that this be reserved for those who are truly experiencing erection dysfunction.

I’m also concerned with the alarming rise of younger men, men in their 20’s and 30’s who are using Viagra or another similar drugs recreationally. This is very troubling. If your young body is having difficulty producing an erection, then you need medical attention ASAP, or maybe you just need some sleep. However, if you’re abusing Viagra just so you can have an erection that lasts for hours that’s a real bad idea for several reasons. Not least of which is your body will habituate itself to that stuff and you will find that, in time, you won’t be able to get it up at all without ever increasing doses of Viagra.

This is gonna fuck up your cardiovascular system big time. In fact, you may very well be inducing the very sexual dysfunction the drug is supposed to help. Consider the person who overuses eye drops or lip balm or any number of otherwise innocuous health and beauty products. Their body will stop making the natural substances that these over the counter products are intended to assist. It’s counterproductive and it’s ill advised. If this is a problem with relatively harmless over the counter products, you know you are playing with fire when you’re abusing powerful prescription meds.

Whoops, sorry Bob, I went off topic there for a minute. It’s just that every opportunity I get to put out a message that will dissuade someone from hurting himself or herself, I just launch into it.So back to you. It is clear from what you tell me, your performance problems do, as you suggest, also have a psychological component to them. You have a fear that, despite being responsible in your sex play and even though you play safe, you could accidentally pass on HIV.

It’s true; one’s brain can indeed override almost every function of our body. For example, we draw each and every breath we take without even thinking about it. However, if a situation dictates our brain can and does override that essential pulmonary function and we can hold our breath. The same is true with our sexual response cycle. Sometimes we can become sexually aroused without really thinking about it. However, if for one reason or another our brain assisted by our conscience interferers with or even shuts down the sexual arousal, then that’s pretty much all she wrote.

Your scruples about the possibility that you could accidentally pass along HIV are interfering with your sexual response cycle. No cockring or an erection-enhancing medication is going to change that darlin’!In other words, the problem is not in your cock, the problem is in your head. This is something you’re gonna have to wrestle with and finally resolve. This tension between your head and your dick is actually a good thing. Your body is providing you an opportunity to align your moral values with your sexual performance. How will this resolve itself? I couldn’t say. But I know for sure resolution is possible.

I do suggest, however, that you not try to do this in a vacuum. Reach out to a HIV support group or a sex-positive therapist for the help you need in making peace between your head and your cock.

Good luck, ya’ll

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The Crotch Report

Name: Gillian
Gender: Female
Age: 27
Location: Paris
Hi Dr Dick, My boyfriend and I are having a long distance relationship. When living together, we used to have an intense sex life … so you can imagine how frustrated we feel now … I don’t know when I’m going to visit him and how we’re going to make it without having sex! Could you help us copping with the distance? Are there some techniques, sex toys, etc … we could use ? Of course I have a vibrator but it would be so much better if my boyfriend could participate in a way, and vice versa … I can’t wait to get your advice!! Thanks!

Long-distance romances aren’t fun! Never fall in love with anyone outside your zip code! That’s what I always say. Of course, when it comes to matters of the heart, most good advice goes out the window. Thanks to the marvels of modern technology I may have the solution to your dilemma. Do you guys cam with one another? I hope so. If not the following advice will still be helpful; you’ll just not have the juicy visuals.

c770.jpgYou’ll both need an iPod (or another music player) and you’ll need one of these puppies: OhMiBod iPod Vibrator (C770). You’ll find these right here in My Stockroom.

The OhMiBod iPod Vibrator is an exciting combination of modern musical and sexual technology. In today’s hi-tech, fast paced world it only makes sense to fuse together two of the most popular forms of technological recreation, listening to music on your iPod and masturbating using a high-powered vibrator.

The OhMiBod iPod Vibrator is very easy to use.

  • Simply plug the universal headphone connector into your iPod (or music player)
  • Plug 1 end of the 3-foot cord into the headphone connector, and one end into the jack in the vibrator’s silver end-cap.
  • Turn on your iPod and use the volume control wheel to increase the intensity, rhythm, and vibe function. The vibration level, and the rhythm it moves to, is determined by the volume and style of the music.

The vibrator is 71⁄2 ” long and has a 1″ diameter. The vibe, cord, and connector are all white, and the end-cap is silver. Smashing!

So here’s what you do…and you can take turns doing this too. Find some music that you know for sure will get you off. Share that music with your BF. Have him load it into his iPod. Then set up a cam date. After you exchange pleasantries, you can get down to business. Insert your vibe into your pussy; your BF will insert his vibe into his ass. Go to the play list you put together and simultaneously start the music. Despite the distance between you, you’ll have all the same sensations. Before you know it, you both will be haven’ screamin’ memes. How fun is that?

And when you guys aren’t camming, you’ll find the OhMiBod iPod Vibrator comes with an extra silver end-cap that can be used without the music player. Imagine what a swell holiday gift idea this will be for all you far-flung lovers.

Name: Terre
Gender:
Age: 54
Location: Nashville
What are some of the newer procedures available for peyronies??

For those not in the know, Peyronie’s disease causes a guys dick to bend or curve dramatically when he gets a hardon. A hard, fibrous layer of scar tissue (plaque) develops under the skin on one side of his dick. When he gets hard, the scar tissue pulls the affected area off at an angle, causing the curve or disfigurement. Sometimes things can get so bad that the pain makes fucking practically impossible.

There are several “therapies” out there; none of which is supported by any hard data as to its effectiveness. So caveat emptor, which is Latin for “Let the buyer beware”!

There are both internal and some external therapies. There is a very expensive enzymes therapy that is taken in pill form. Allegedly the enzymes help break up the scar tissue. It’s a very slow process, if it works at all and it requires a prolonged and consistent treatment. Cha ching!

Some doctors will inject drugs, like calcium channel blockers or interferon, directly into the plaque in a guy’s dick. These drugs are said to break down scar tissue deposits and return the tissue-building process to normal. This therapy calls for multiple injections over a period of months. And the success of this treatment varies considerably. Cha ching!

There are Penile Traction Devices too. These create a gentle continuous tension on a guy’s unit. The claim is that the stretching opens up spaces between penile cells, and triggers growth and healing, thus resolving the issue. This is dubious at best.

Here are a couple of resources for you: The Peyronie’s Disease Society and The Peyronie’s Disease Institute.

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Name: a
Gender: Male
Age: 22
Location: ph
if a male was to get a sex change would a vagina be able to be made to make the operation complete, and if so would having a baby be possible

Yep, a post-surgical Male to Female transexual will have had a “functional” vagina fashioned from the cock “she” once had.

Nope, it takes a lot more than a brand spankin’ new whoha to make babies, darlin’. A post-surgical Male to Female transexual may have a pussy, but she doesn’t have a womb…so no babies.

Name: victor
Gender: Male
Age: 39
Location: LA
I don’t like sex as much as i use to been with the same guy for 15 yrs and could do it all the time now only once a week and he has to initiate it but once we are doing it is great. What can i do about it? Thanks victor

You sound like you’re more bored with, than disinterested in, sex. If you were disinterested in sex, you wouldn’t enjoy it when you actually got around to having some.

Sounds like your sex life needs a little sprucin’ up…and who’s doesn’t? I want you to mozie on over to my online sex emporium — My Stockroom — and pick out something really fun and smutty for you and your old man. Don’t let another day go by without at least trying to get back on track!

I have a dazzling array of products that will liven up even the most ho-hum sex life. Not sure what to buy? Not to worry! Take a look at my monthly ever so popular, Sex Toy Awareness feature right here on drdicksexadvice.com. It’s chock-full of swell gift giving ideas.

Name: garciaf54
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Location: texas
Hi im 23 years old and i belive my packege isnt enough for the girl im dating and probably any. My dick is 6 inches nothing more nothing less but is this normal or i need help?

You’re worrying way too much about your package, darlin’. Your 6” is adequate for getting the job done, especially if you know how to use what you have. Women are generally less concerned about the size of the meat as they are about the quality of the motion.

So yeah, you’re normal, but you may also need some help. I’d suggest you check in with your GF and find out how you’re doin’ in the love makin’ department. I’d be willing to guess that she may have a few pointers for you on how better to use what you got. But you’ll have to ask her nicely.

Young pups, like you, rarely know their way around a fine pussy. Hell, most women don’t know their way around their own fine pussy. Young pups, like you, may also be unaware of all the sexual positions that would best utilize a modest johnson. If this sounds like you, I’d say you have some homework to do.

Name: krishna
Gender: Male
Age: 33
Location: india
i love my cousin sister a lot, i am enjoying sex with her, is that wrong?

I actually had to look up “cousin sister” on the internet. While I came up with some conflicting information, one thing seems clear, the term “cousin sister” connotes a close biological tie — a first cousin, perhaps. Is that what you’re talking about?

If so, most cultures, even yours, frown upon incest. There are plenty of good reasons for this; not least of all is a genetic concern (inbreeding). But often the most devastating aspect of incest is the secrecy. No one violates this universal taboo in the open. I’ll bet this is the case with you too, huh? The secrecy and the inevitable shame and guilt can destroy you family dynamic.

I suspect you may already be aware of this. Why else would you be asking me if it was wrong?

Name: brnwiee
Gender: Male
Age: 24
Location: canada
why does my condom always break? am i too big 4 normal condoms? my size is 7.5 inc long n 6.5 inc girth………am i thrusting too hard?/// n is it possible 4a girl too deepthroat it all?

Maybe you need a bigger sized condom, darling. You know there are different sizes, right? Shop online for extra large condoms. Most online retailers will offer a varietybiggunsampler.jpg pack of the big boys. This way you’ll be able to choose the right condom for you without buying a box full of just one kind from the get-go.

Depending on the “girl” I’d say, you betcha deep-throating 7.5 wouldn’t be a problem. However, finding that particular woman might be your biggest challenge. You may have to turn to a “pro” for that kind of service.

Name: ken
Gender: Male
Age: 45
Location: toronto canada
low sperm count is there anyway of building this up ?

Nope! Despite the myriad products online that proclaim they will build up your sperm count; it’s all baloney. Don’t waste your money!

Name: Paul
Gender: Malebj01.jpg
Age: 21
Location: RI
My gf used to give me blowjobs quite a bit but all of a sudden she stopped and kept telling me she can’t stand doing them. She has always said she didn’t like them but that she did them cause I liked them so much. Why the hell would she stop now?

I guess she’s trying to tell you she doesn’t like you as much as she once did.

Here’s a tip: most chicks dole out the hummers as a reward for being the best little boy in the world. If she’s cut you off, so to speak, perhaps you’ve done something to piss her off. I’d look into that, if I were you.

Good luck ya’ll

Come With Me

Name: Julie
Gender: Female
Age: 38
Location: Boston
I went to Vegas with my best friend and she wanted to be laid in the worst way. Our first night in sin city I told her that prostitution is legal here and we “let our fingers do the walkin'”. Soon a gigolo was at the door. He was not six feet with blue eyes as promised, but he was an aspiring chiropractor and seemed like a nice lad so we let him in. The agency had said that they were registered with the State of Nevada and that they need payment upfront including the tip. Being novices to this we ponied up. I left my friend with the guy for her birthday shag and went for a walk around Vegas. I almost called you, Dr. Dick, so excited was I to be sophisticated. I had employed your advice and hired a pro and all! 20 minutes later I was staring at the Lions in the MGM Grand my cell rings. It’s her. The gigolo had a story about not being able to use her condoms due to a latex allergy and that the “other kind” which he had in his pocket must have dropped out in the lobby. This was a total bummer and the gigolo made off with almost $600 bucks! Can you publish “An idiot’s guide to hiring sex work”? We felt like total rubes and were sorely disappointed. The remainder of the celebrations were fantastic. We saw “The Thunder From Downunder” an all-male revue that was just wonderful. We also met many nice tourists and things looked up.

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Thanks for the Vegas travelogue. Sorry to hear you got ripped off by the “pro” you tried to hire for a little pleasure. That bums me out. I’m of the mind that freelance providers are generally a better bet than going through a agency. I know it’s too late now, but a consumer should never pay anything in advance. Ya always want to check out the goods first, don’t cha know! And if someone balks at that, you don’t want to do business with that person.

Not to make light of your situation, but I have a friend who was having trouble with his plumbing. No not that kind of plumbing! He tired to fix it himself, but to no avail. He was frustrated as all get-out. Finally I talked him into calling a “pro”. I don’t know where he found the plumber he called, but like you he got ripped off big time! There are dishonest people in every profession.

I applaud your moxie, girl. Don’t let this one bad apple scare you away from trying again another time. I stand by the Rent-A-Boy concept. Keep me posted on your future efforts.

Name: alex smith
Gender: Male
Age: 22
Location: California
I have had this litlle lump in my balls sac since i was a kid it doesnt hurt when i squeeze it and its inside i cant get it off because its attached to theno-freaking-out.jpg skin and im afraid to ask my doctor what do i do?

You’re 22 and you’re afraid to ask your doc about a bump on your nuts? What kind of pussy are you? Come on, grow a pair already, why don’t ‘cha?

This may come as somewhat of a surprise to you, but this is precisely what doctors are for. They look at the things that cause us concern, they tell us what it is, and by doing so, they put our minds to rest. Listen; if you’ve had this bump since you were a kid, the likelihood that it’s anything of consequence is pretty minimal. But go get it checked out so you can stop freakin’ out!

Name: Warwick
Gender: Male
Age: 22
Location: Wyoming
Dear Mr. Dr. Dick, my fiancee was raped by her step brother when she 13. she put up with it and has since repressed it continuing a “normal” relationship with him. how do i deal with this? how can i stand the thought of him or bear seeing him knowing what he has done?

Holy cow! That’s a bummer. But tell me this, if your fiancée repressed this memory (and that’s what repressed means) how did you find out about the incident?

If in fact your fiancée hasn’t repressed the memory, but is trying to get beyond it by not letting it rule her life, then I think you need to do the same. Shit happens! And sometimes the shit is ugly shit, like rape. But if we allow the shit to contaminate our life, crippling our relationships, and us; then the shit wins. Don’t let this happen to you…or your fiancée.

If you guys need help getting past this, seek a sex-positive therapist. A good therapist will not let you sabotage the rest of your life with fear, anger, hatred or revenge.

You can’t do anything about the past, but you do have some control over how you will react in the future. Rise above this! It’s the only way to go, my friend.

Name: Rob
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Location: New Orleans
doc. im starting to get into stimulating my prostate. i heard it will give you ground breaking orgasms but i just cant seem to do it correctly. could you please give me some tips about this.. cheers

You betcha! I’m a big fan of prostate massage — as a solitary pleasure or as part ofc771-1.jpg partnered sex play. Because it is something every guy can practice and enjoy. I recommend all us men folk be prostate aware. You probably also know I’m a big advocate of frequent prostate self-exams, right? And I figure while you’re down there rootin’ around in your butt hole checkin’ thing out, spend a little more time and give yourself a nice little massage why don’t ‘cha? Fingers work just fine for this, but an insertable vibrator is…well…out of this world. Prostate massage is a wonderful way to expand your self-pleasuring repertoire, especially for all you guys out there who only know how to yank on your dick for joy. Check out: The “Progasm” Prostate Massager in My Stockroom.

And ladies, prostate massage is a great way to please and pleasure your male partners. Perhaps if your let your guy know that a little butt play can be real fun and it ain’t queer, more straight guys would be less ass-phobic. And I can guarantee that the world would be a much better place.

You can feel your prostate gland by inserting a finger a couple of inches or so into your bum. If you are the least bit aroused your prostate will feel like a smooth rounded flat lump about the size of a large almond. Just in back of and up from your prostate is a smaller triangular wedge shaped nodule that is the bottom portion of your somewhat larger seminal vesicles. This, by the way, is where most of your jizz is produced and stored. Underneath the seminal vesicles are the ampullae, which are tiny reservoirs for your sperm that will mix with all the other fluids produced by the vesicles and your prostate when you cum.

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As you become aroused, ejaculatory fluid and sperm accumulate in these glands backing up behind valves in the ejaculatory ducts. When the fluid pressure reaches a high enough threshold, the valves open and the urethral bulb fills, triggering the muscular contractions of your ejaculation. This empties the glands and you, my friend, have just shot your wad. Naturally, if one abstains from ejaculating for a while and prolongs his arousal stage, say like through edging, more fluids will build up, making for a larger load and a more explosive orgasm.

So with that little anatomy lesson behind us, so to speak, we can get back to prostate massage. Ya don’t need nothin’ fancy, simply insert your well-lubricated middle finger or middle finger and index finger into your butt hole and apply a little pressure. Slowly massage your prostate. Try a nice circular motion. Doesn’t that feel yummy? Some men can cum by prostate massage alone. Hell, you may find that you don’t even need a stiff dick to enjoy an orgasm and/or an ejaculation.

Looking for something more advanced? Male Erotic Massage.

Name: matt
Gender: Male
Age: 37
Location: Seattle
I can’t stop going to massage parlors. I go all the time. HJ only there but lots of touching and kissing. I am married and can’t help the need for the excitement. If my wife found out I think she would divorce me. Is this healthy?

Hand jobs, kissing and touching are all very healthy.

But the guilt and shame aren’t healthy, that’s for sure. If you can’t stop a going to the massage parlors, you’re being obsessive; and that’s not healthy. Living a lie and hiding this from your wife isn’t particularly healthy either.

Name: jon251328494_14815fb5a2.jpg
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Location: ca
hi im 18 and i like to finger my ass and use wieners is that good?

Are these cocktail wieners? Hot dogs? Dinner franks? Polish sausage?

Is it good? Gee, I don’t know. I never stuck any kind of wiener up my poop-chute. Why don’t you tell me?

Oh wait; you want to know if it’s ok for you, or anyone, to do this, right? Yeah, I think it’s ok. Just don’t ever invite me to your place for a weenie roast!
Good luck ya’ll

Blue Plate Special

Name: ali
Gender:
Age: 25
Location: canada
my girlfriend dont waana get maried to me beacuse she is afraid of sex , she hates sex because she think its a disguesting thing like sucking fingering n etc what am i suppose to do i love her how i satisfy her dat we have to marry???

Why would you want to marry a chick that doesn’t like sex? That just seems crazy. If you think you’re gonna win her over or change her mind about sex just by marrying her; that’s even crazier. Loving someone is not enough to overcome this kind of resistance. If she’s unwilling to see a therapist to help her through her revulsion of things sexual, then I’d say it was time for you to find another potential bride.

Name: Randy
Gender:
Age: 24
Location: Florida
Is it possible that anal sex can result in increased flatulence?

xx19.jpgAaaa yeah!

Think of your ass as a cylinder and your partner’s cock as a piston. All the slamming in and out forces air up your bum. And what happens to that trapped air after (and sometimes even during) a fuck fest? You got it…farts for days. It’s no big thing, all bottoms get fuck-farts. The same is true for women — her pussy is the cylinder and her partner’s cock is the piston. All the slamming in and out forces air into her cooch, producing the very familiar pussy-fart.

Name: Jonathan
Gender: Male
Age:
Location: UK
Hello, please could you tell me if there is a way to increase the size of my testicles permanently, I do shoot a good amount of cum but they are small in the hand and look small in underwear and swim trunks, have you any advice on what I could try,

Hold on there, big fella. What are you askin’ me? Do you want to increase the size of your balls (testicles), or the size of your sack (scrotum)? You can do the later, but not the former. If you are past puberty, your balls are the size they are gonna be; there’s no increasing them. Your sack, on the other hand can be stretched to increase its size. Will that satisfy you? If so, read this: …don’t let me get too deep. If not, you’re out of luck, darlin’!

Name: Mario
Gender: Male
Age: 17
Location: CA
I watch porn once in a while and have noticed that when I have an erection I get the “precum” after a while of having the erection. The problem is that lots of precum leaks out and its embarrassing for me when I’m with a girl. They usually get grossed out and stop oral sex. Will the precum go away with time or will this happen to me forever?

Ahhh, the heartbreak of pesky precum drip! I used to know this guy that dripped like a broken faucet and all he had to do was think about a woman’s tits. It was absolutely amazing. When I knew him he was at his first job as a teller in a bank in downtown San Francisco. If there was so much as a woman in line with a low cut blouse and a bit of cleavage showing, he was done for. m.jpgHe could feel his juice drip down his leg. He tried many things to keep his heartbreak from being so obvious — he would wear baggy pants, double up on underwear, he’d stuff his junk in a sock and wear a jock over the sock under his underwear. That worked, but it was uncomfortable. Finally he discovered his own personal solution — he pulled his foreskin over the head of his dick and put a little rubber band over the end. This way his juice would build up inside his hood until he released the rubber band. Now that was creative thinking. I’ll admit this guy was unusual with his prodigious cock dribble, but he was young, only in his late teens. His “problem” did subside with time.

This whole phenomenon is not unlike a person with a heavy perspiration problem. You know the guys, the ones who run with sweat form every pour at slightest amount of stress. For most, this happens during puberty and early adulthood, but it doesn’t last.

Listen, pup, I know your drip may be a bit embarrassing, but it’s really very natural. I encourage you to just go with the flow…no pun intended. The more you worry about it the more it will plague you and in time you will become so self-conscious about it, it will cause performance anxiety. Why not consider yourself lucky, all that precum is a swell natural lubricant. Ya know some women have a similar concern with an abundance of vaginal liberation produced during arousal. But believe me, it always way better to have too much than not enough.

To your concern that some girls get grossed out by your leaky dick, well all I can say is they’re no connoisseur of cocksucking. Because those in the know consider precum the Nectar of the Gods!

Name: Isabell
Gender: Female
Age: 24
Location: Olympia Wa
HI, my guy and i have been together for five years now and he is 29 now. Of course in the beginning we were all over each other, but now (five years later) he can go months with out even thinking about sex. And of course I am going crazy for it. He says me pining for sex is a turn off but i cant help it. He thinks its normal, but i know its not. I dont know how to get him in the mood. I’ve tried going down on him at night, romantic dinners, porn, and sucking up to his ego. But still to no avail. I know he’s straight. I am sure there are some things that contribute to his lack of interest. Like he was raised mormon, and in some regards holds women on a pedestal. So what would you advise me to do. What can i do to help him get hornier?

You’re right, darlin’, it ain’t normal! A guy in his 20’s, albeit his late, late 20’s, who has no libido…that’s just downright odd.

So let’s say for the sake of argument that you’re right, he is straight as can be (no secret cock on the side). And he can go months without showing any interest in sex? Come on! If he had been like this from the get go, we could make the case that he just doesn’t have an interest in sex. That’s not particularly uncommon. But to go from a vigorous sex live to virtually none in a few years, that’s fishy. Are you confident that he is still attracted to you? Sometimes a guy would rather live a life of quiet desperation than tell his GF that he’s no longer into her in a sexual sort of way.

17647853_p.jpgIs he experiencing any health problems? Is he overweight, diabetic? Is he depressed? Is he on any prescribed meds? Is he smoking too much pot, consuming too much booze? Is he overworked on the job? Is he sleep deprived? All these things can impact on a dude’s sex drive. I’d recommend he see his physician for some blood work to check his testosterone levels. Sometime a guy’s hormone levels can take a nosedive without him knowing it.

Finally, to your question…what can you do to help him get hornier? Probably nothing beyond what you’ve already tried. If a surprise blowjob, a romantic dinner, porn and even an ego boost don’t do the trick, I’d say he’s a lost cause. Time to take your needs to someone with a little more lead in his pencil, if ya know what I mean. None of us should have to beg for our bone.

Name: amber
Gender: Female
Age: 20
Location: fort worth
When me and my husband have sex he just seems to want to get it over with. I dont ask him for it because everytime i do ask him hes not in the mood. He wont even try to help me warm up i have to do it all myself. I even do everything to him that he asks me. He also seems like he doesnt want to please me because ill tell him ways to make it easier and positions i like and he just ignores me and goes on the way he wants it. When we first met sex was amazing and now sex is literally a 2-minute session just for him. What do i do to get him to help me out too?

See my response to Isabell, right above you.

And to that I would add that if your man is not being mutual in your sex play he’s not playing fair. And let’s not mince words, your husband sounds downright abusive. Marriage does not give one the license to ignore, reject or abuse. I’m not one for ultimatums, but the longer you tolerate his behavior, the more retractable he will become. Give the bum a choice to either work with you to find a happy solution to this mess, or you are gone.

Good luck, ya’ll

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Riddle Me This…

Name: Daniel
Gender: Male
Age: 22
Location: Portland
My question is do all women essentially have the same size and shape vagina? Because I have an abnormally large penis and some women are fine with it but some women complain way too much because of the pain.

I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess that you don’t really know how to swing that big pipe of yours. But before we get to that, I thought we’d do a little remedial anatomy lesson. Did you know a vagina is made up of the same tissue as your penis and scrotum? In other words your cock and balls are simply a pussy on a stick. So if you follow the logic you’ll find the answer to your question. Pussies come in a variety of sizes shapes, just like cocks & balls.

Ok, so we’re clear on that point, right? Excellent. Now the variation in size andbig.jpg shape of the external components of female genitalia, the vulva, vaginal lips, etc, are only a preview of the amazing capacities of the internal components, the vagina itself. This is best understood as a potential space. A vagina is very expandable. It has to be, since whole babies come pushin’ through that space. Tell me you’re clear on that concept…please!

Again if you follow the logic you’ll realize that, unless you’re hung in a freakish sort of way (and if you are I want photographic evidence sent to me immediately) just about any adult female vagina is able to accommodate even the really big boys. However, being able to and wanting to be impaled by a giant johnson…well, that’s just a whole other issue.

Second, and this is the most important point, I wholeheartedly recommend that one day real soon you have a nice long conversation with someone who actually owns a vagina. While dr dick is a very clever lad, who knows lots of things about lots of things, sadly he don’t have no vagina himself. So why not go directly to the source, Daniel? Before you start pokin’ away at this mysterious entity that you clearly don’t understand, ask your partner for a little tour. Have her show you around. Have her point out all the really exciting points of interest…and there are plenty of ‘em, don’t cha know. You’ll be sorely amazed. You think your dick is talented? Let me tell ya pal, it pales in comparison to a pussy.

Besides, this little exercise will give you a load of brownie points with the woman in question. You’ll also be a vastly more informed about pussies in general, which hopefully make you a much better lover whatever comes your way in the future.

Finally, if your women partners are complaining about your size it probably has more to do with your ability as a cocksmith than the capacity of their vagina. Most women who complain about painful intercourse, regardless of the size of the hose, report that their offish male partners don’t get them warmed up enough before commencing the fuck. No arousal means there’s lubrication no. No lubrication means there’s sure to be painful fucking ahead. Get it?

A word to the wise, Daniel, if your dick is hard it’s evidence that you’re properly aroused. If your partner isn’t lubricating big-time then she not properly aroused. Which tells me that you didn’t take care of business like you should have before you start to poke and poke with your one-eyed monster. You want in? Better pave the way pup!

Name: sammy
Gender: male
Age: 19
Location: UK
is rimming dangerous you know like not good for you and you know stuff like that

You wanna know if rimming (or ass to mouth contact, for those less familiar with the term “rimming”) is dangerous with respect to “you know…well you know”. That sure was articulate.

I guess you want dr dick to fill in the blanks, huh? Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think you want to know about the health risks involved in rimming, right? Why not just come right out and say, “Hey dr dick, is eatin’ ass gonna make me sick?”

Let me preface my remarks with this universal statement. There is some riskdirtyjobs17.jpg involved with everything we do. Are you breathing this air? Are you drinking this water? Are you eating this food? Are you driving a car? Yikes, especially here in Seattle? Then you are at risk of serious bodily injury.

Have you noticed the alarming increase in health advisories issued for air quality? The ever-increasing frequency of food contamination scares — both for humans and our pets? And I’m sure I don’t have to call your attention to worsening traffic and the endless parade of really bad drivers out there. And yet, we continue to breathe, eat and move about in traffic as if there were no risks to us at all. We do so because it’s hard to live a normal life without. Rather than wall ourselves up somewhere to avoid all the inherent dangers of life in the modern world, we do our best to minimize risk by keeping ourselves informed and staying alert to signs of danger.

The same is true for any and all risks associated with sex. Trust me, I’m not here to diminish any perceived health risk involved when folks bump parts with one another. But I do want to put them in perspective. You can minimize health risks associated with sexual contact with others by being alert and informed about sexual issues in general and the health of your partner(s) in particular. Also stay vigilant to signs of danger — lesions, inflammations, abnormal odors, pain — are all warning signs that things are not as they should be. And nothing, absolutely nothing is more important than hygiene…especially were butt munching is concerned.

Here’s a little code I’ve prepared for this purpose. You know, like the fun rainbow colored homeland security code we’ve all come to know love. However, unlike the Department of Homeland Security here in the US (and whatever the call it there in the UK), dr dick promises he’ll never use his advisory code as a political tool. The dr dick Health/Sex Risk Code is simple. 1) Advised — 2) Advised with Minimal Risk — 3) Advised with Caution and 4) Not Advisable.

Now back to you, Sammy. dr dick is gonna label rimming — 3) Advised with Caution. There’s a minimal risk for HIV transmission. However the presence of anal bleeding or bloody gums makes rimming 4) Not Advisable.

Rimming does carry the risk of parasite and bacterial infections. Hepatitis is also a risk. But there are hepatitis vaccines out there. And anyone engaged in sex with another human being, eating ass or no, who isn’t immunized against hep is just a damn fool.

Name: Frank
Gender: Male
Age: 28
Location: LA
The problem I’m having is that my current girlfriend has really small breasts, probably a size A or something like that. My last girlfriend had these beautiful big breasts. Being in LA of course they were fake, but I loved them. My new girlfriend is good in bed but the boob issue is driving me crazy. Her breasts are so small there’s nothing to do with them. The rest of her body is fine and her face is great. I’m looking for your advice. I want to ask her to get a boob job, but I don’t know how to approach the issue. Just looking for your advice.

So let me get this straight, Frank. You’re like this big tit fanatic and you don’t much care if the hooters are god-made or plastic. You live in LA, the very center of the silicone universe. And you find yourself in a relationship with a great gal with natural breasts, but virtually no bust line. Holy cow, how did that happen? Is this some kind of twisted karmic fate thing playing itself out? Do you suppose the cosmos is trying to tell you something?

Ok, you want my advice, here it is. I totally think you ought march right up to thisbt.jpg pretty sweet girlfriend of yours and tell her that despite her many charms and how much fun she is in the sack, you’re simply need much bigger tits on her real soon.

That’s right you heard me correctly. You just stride on up to her and tell her what’s on your mind. Don’t hold anything back. Don’t try to be diplomatic. And you don’t even have to give her feelings a second thought!

Of course, Frank, you’re gonna wanna preface this little declaration of yours by telling the lovely lass that you will submit your dick for augmentation if she agrees to submits her breasts.

I mean, fair is fair, right Frank? To do anything less, would mark you as incredibly shallow and selfish. It would also smack of a very unpleasant double standard. And dr dick wants desperately to believe that you’re not that big of an asshole. You aren’t, are you Frank?

If by chance you’re not quite ready to surrender you’re dick to a surgeon’s scalpel, with all the inherent dangers major surgery like this entails, then you’re in no position to ask your darling girlfriend with the tiny titties to do it either.

Here’s a tip; either enjoy what’s near to hand or find some chick that’s already sporting a big rack. I encourage you not to suggest to any woman that she’d be a better person, or more desirable to you (or anyone jackass of your gender) if she were just more stacked. This will simply backfire. You’ll not only find yourself without the desired tits, you’ll be without pussy too.

Good luck ya’ll!

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