Search Results: Big Cock

You are browsing the search results for big cock

On a need to know basis.

Name: Jackye
Gender: Female
Age: 32
Location: London.
Do you have a suggestion regarding sexual positions for easier anal sex?

I sure do, doll!  Try it doggy style.  It’s the most popular position for gettin’ it in the bum.  It’s a very basic sex position, where the bottom bends over a bed, a couch, a chair, the whatnot shelf, and the top nails him or her in ass from behind. For obvious reasons, this position is also called as the rear entry position.  And just so you know that we ain’t completely uncultured slobs here at Dr Dick’s Sex Advice, the Latin name for doggy style is coitus ferarum, which literally means ‘fucking in the manner of the beasts’.

doggy_sex_positionDoggie style is a preferred position for most people of the female persuasion, because it allows the top to directly stimulate the chick’s G spot for that really yummy feeling.  This position also allows for a hands-free fuck. The top can busy his/her hands fondling the bottom’s tits and all his/her junk in the trunk.  Similarly, the bottom’s hands are also free to diddle him or herself and or grab somethin of the top’s, like his nuts or her taint.

There is no major exertion of limb muscles, just as long as the top bends his/her bottom over something high enough so that he/she won’t have to strain his/her knees while gettin that hot monkey love.

Politically correct folks think this sexual position is too submissive for a woman in straight sex. She being pretty much locked position, and under the control of the male top.  But I say, fuck political correctness.  If you like this position, use it.  Better yet, once you get nailed, strap one on and give as good as you get.

Like everything in life, the doggie position has some drawbacks. An inexperienced bottom may encounter discomfort, because the top can penetrate very deep in this position.  For the romantics among us, they’ll be unable to maintain eye contact or kiss during the fuck.  And of course, there is also no frontal visual stimulation, unless you’re bumping in front of a mirror.  Which is never a bad idea.

I suggest you try  “the woman-on-top” — cowgirl position too.  See the photo below.  This position will provide you more control over the depth and speed of your partner’s thrusts.cowgirl

Another swell position is the spoon position. Here the top lies on his/her side with knees bent slightly forward. The bottom lies in front, facing the other way and positions him/herself in such a way so that his/her butt lines up with the top’s dick or strap-on.  This allows for a pretty much effortless fuck for both top and bottom.  Folks have been known to fall asleep mid fuck in this position.  Don’t let this happen to you. Hey, and it’s real easy for the couple to switch sides too.

The advantages of the spoon position are pretty clear, huh?  Both the top and bottom are reclining.  There is little to no exertion and it’s an ideal position for us older folk, or the truly jumbo among us.  After the fuck is finished the couple can remain in this position for a very long time extending the afterglow.

The bottom can do the old reach around and grab somethin’ of the top’s to play with.  The top can also reach around for easy access to tits and pussy or tits and cock.  (Do you see how I’m going out of my way to be inclusive with instructions?  I hope so.)  And the lucky bottom gets the joy of being plugged and cuddled all at the same time. This might be a better option than doggie style for the inexperienced bottom, because he/she will have some control over the depth of the penetration.

While some folks think this position is downright boring, because it doesn’t involve much activity on the part of either top or bottom.  The spoon position does get the politically correct seal of approval.  It’s one of those egalitarian sexual positions, don’t cha know.  Neither the top nor the bottom is in a superior position.  Isn’t that special?

Name: Chad
Gender: male
Age: 25
Location: Alaska
My new girlfriend is 5 years older than me and she is a total freak.  She has purple hair, 5 tattoos and a 7 piercings, including her labia.  She wants me to get my dick pierced.  I said I’d think about it, but she says I’m a pussy for putting it off.  I know lots of guys have piercings, but is it safe?

I firmly believe in the right of every adult to augment, adorn and embellish, or in any other way customize his or her body.  However, I draw the line at someone goading or harassing another person to do so.   And it sounds to me like your freaky-deaky GF is badgering you to do just that.  So if I were you, I’d tell her to back off till you can sanely make up your mind.  It’s a good thing you’re being so thoughtful about this, because even though a piercing is not permanent, like a tattoo, there still are risks involved…more even than getting inked.

As body piercing becomes trendier in the popular culture, many people try to outdo each pa_0other with unusual piercings. However, all the most common piercings have their roots in the traditions of tribal peoples throughout the world.

The first thing you should know is that body piercing is an art form.  It is best practiced by well-trained, highly qualified and seasoned professionals.  If you entrust your body to an amateur you’re asking for trouble.  Do your homework.  As piercing establishments proliferate, some will be better than others. In most jurisdictions piercers and their salons are required to be registered and licensed. You might want to check your local health department for a information and recommendations.

Before you decide to proceed, visit the piercer in his/her shop. Ask questions. Ask them how they sterilize their instruments and jewelry (autoclaving is the only safe method). Nowadays, all needles should be single use instruments.  They should be opened just prior to the piercing, and then disposed of immediately thereafter. If the shop offers other adornments, like tattooing, make sure the piercing is done in a separate room (for privacy as well as hygiene).

Most people are initially concerned with the pain involved in getting pierced.  Depending on what you’re getting pierced, there will be moderate to a whole lot of pain.  And that’s just the beginning.  Once the jewelry is in place there will be at least 2-3 days when the piercing area is very sensitive to the touch.  Because some areas of the body have more blood vessels than others, like your dick for example, expect some blood loss and a lot of swelling post-piercing.  Trust me, gettin’ a boner afterwards will be your worst nightmare.

That being said, you will be amazed at how resilient your body’s is.  It has a phenomenal ability to heal itself.   Of course, the practitioner should provide you with detailed aftercare instructions.  These will outline all the procedures and aftercare products you’ll need to attend to yourself while you heal.  A word of caution, if your general health is compromised in anyway; if you are sick, run- down or over-worked, or immune-compromised in any way, your body’s ability to heal will be decreased and there will be an increase in the risk of infection.

As you heal, any pressure on a piercing has the potential to aggravate and inflame the site.  You’d best refrain from contact sports, manual labor, or anything else that irritate your new piercing. Most piercings take a minimum of 6 weeks to heal. Wearing tight clothes, touching the piercing with dirty hands, contact with bodily fluids, rough treatment, and using inappropriate cleaning agents will diminish your body’s ability to heal and increase the risk of infection.  Hey, and don’t skimp on the quality of jewelry you choose either.  Poor grade jewelry can fuck up the piercing big time.

Given all the pain and risks, you might ask, why do people bother getting pierced at all?  Well, that’s pretty easy to answer.  Piercings aficionados agree; a piercing enhances sex by providing a greater degree of stimulation to one’s self and one’s partner.

The most popular cock piercings is the Prince Albert. It has the fastest healing time and is considered the most sexually appealing of cock piercings. It enters the urethra and exits immediately behind the glans on the underside of the cock.  There is a variation called the reverse Prince Albert, which enters the urethra and exits on the top of the dick head. This piercing requires less cleaning than most since urine aids in the healing process.  However afterwards, most men find that they have to sit down to pee or they dribble all over themselves.  You’ll need to allow one week of sexual abstinence post piercing and 2-4 months for it to heal completely.  In the interim always use a condom until you’re fully healed.

Good luck ya’ll

Don’t forget the Seattle Fetish & Fantasy Festival!

strangerd300x100

Lookin’ for a little somethin’ that will perk up that ho-hum sex life of yours?  I thought so.  Well then, here’s your opportunity to learn a few new tricks.  (Along with a slew of other sex-positive adults of every persuasion.)

I’ll be there, so you know it’s gonna be good.  Hell, if you’re lucky, and register early, you can even take one of my workshops.  YOU CAN REGISTER ONLINE!

April 10-11, 2009
2 Days of Classes,
Music & Food

Be there or be square!

Luscious LELO, Part 1

Hey sex fans,

The Dr Dick Review Crew has been in a complete tizzy lately. Even these hardened veterans of the adult product review trenches were totally gaga when I put out the word that I had a slew of LELO products to review. Everyone on the crew couldn’t wait to get their grubby little hands all over these top of the line sex toys…I mean Pleasure Objects.

That”s right, sex fans, LELO not only reinvented the sex toy; they’ve evolved it into an object of pleasure. And trust me, it’s not just semantics. LELO products are indeed in a class of their own.

The Dr Dick Review Crew will be spending several weeks putting the LELO line through its paces. Whatever you do, don’t miss a single installment!

Today, we feature the G-spot LELO Pleasure Object — GIGI.

Review Crew members, Gina & Kevin, do the honors

GIGI $109

Gina: “I’ve been salivating over the LELO line for ages. I’ve seen them online, in magazine ads and I’ve even handled a couple of them at Babeland, Seattle. But I never expected to actually own one.”
Kevin: “I’m totally blown away too. These babies are stunning.”
Gina: “I never thought I’d own a LELO because they are kinda pricey. But after using
GIGI for a few weeks I can say that they are worth every cent. First off, they are rechargeable; so right away you save on the cost of battery replacement. Which, to my mind, not only makes LELO price competitive, but a bargain in the long run.”
Kevin: “
GIGI is a sensual work of art; it’s creatively innovative and it is GREEN! Anyone who reads our reviews on a regular basis knows that the Review Crew gives extra points for toys that are rechargeable.”
Gina: “GREEN is IN, fellow consumers!”
Kevin: “Also anyone who reads our reviews on a regular basis knows that I am like totally into my ass and gigi_deep_rose_mv1prostate. I know that
GIGI is marketed exclusively as a G-spot vibe, but I’m here to tell you (and the LELO people) that GIGI is dyn-O-mite on a dude’s P-spot too.”
Gina: “Kevin knows of what he speaks! Over the last year or so we’ve tried numerous insertables in his butt. Most were packaged as “women only” toys, but we didn’t care.”
Kevin: “I think toy producers are missing a load of crossover sales opportunities because they often focus on a specific gender in advertising. I mean Gina and I totally turned the WE-Vibe marketing concept on its head in our review (#13).”
Gina: “
GIGI is made from medical grade s ilicone, which give s it a velvety feel that is deliciously soft and warm. It has approximately 10cm of insertable length and the G-spot (or in this P-spot) flat and slanted tip has a circumference of 10.5cm. It takes about 2 hours to fully charge this thing. Unlike other rechargeable toys, you’ll know it’s fully charged when the light in the handle goes from flashing to a solid light. And a full charge will give you at least an hour and a half of amazing vibration.”
Kevin: “The power and adjust button is in the ergonomic handle.
GIGI has 5 modes of vibration with 4 speed settings. It’s amazingly powerful for such a little thing. So you can knock yourself out in more ways than one. It’s also super quiet. This thing has quality written all over it.”
Gina: “There was a time, not to long ago, that I would have been too embarrassed to watch Kevin pleasure himself. I thought masturbation, especially if it involved him inserting something into his bum, was something he should do privately. I can’t believe how uptight I once was.”
Kevin: “It was a struggle to break down some of her preconceived ideas about sex in general and masturbation in particular. But she’s totally into it now, I’m happy to report. And we’ve learned so much about pleasuring one another from watching each other pleasure ourselves.”
Gina: “I now absolutely love watching Kevin work his butt. It is such a turn on for me. He always gets the hardest erections when he’s stimulating his prostate. And he always shoots a giant load too. I often find myself sitting back with my own Pleasure Object and trying to keep pace with Kevin.”
Kevin: “If the truth be know, Gina has, on several occasions, jumped on my raging boner when I’m fuckin my ass with a dildo. I think it’s great that she feels free to take control.”
Gina: “It’s true, I can often barely contain myself.”
Kevin: “My first time with
GIGI was fantastic. I lubed it up. (Water based lube only with a fine silicone toy like this.) And nuzzled the flattened and slanted head against my hole. I worked the vibe options, getting a feel for where this baby was gonna take me. With only a little effort on my part the uniquely shaped head disappeared in my ass and hit home directly on my prostate. The flat slanted tip connected with my P-spot and made my eyes roll back in my head with pleasure. It’s like it was made for this purpose. I mean, how many guys are doing without GIGI thinking it’s only for girls?”
Gina: “Like a butt-plug,
GIGI stays in place. When Kevin let go of the vibe to stroke his penis and stretch his scrotum, I reached over and took hold. This startled him out of his revelry, but the gentle rocking motion I added as well as the change in pulsation made him buck and groan. He is the most sexually expressive man I’ve ever known.”
Kevin: “Gina pretends she’s still a shy and retiring catholic school girl when it comes to ass play, but this girl knows how to ramp thing up down there. She denied me the orgasm I was aching for. She forbid me to touch my cock and balls while she worked my ass with
GIGI. She took hold of my nuts and started to slap them, lightly at first, then she really let me have it. Yanking on my sack stretched the skin on my dick shaft and made my cock stick out perpendicular to my belly. I was lovin’ it, big time.”
Gina: “Like I’ve mentioned before, I’ve developed into quite a little dominatrix; something I would never have discovered in myself had it not been for Kevin and his promptings.”
Kevin: “I love it when she’s the Dom; it’s such a turn on. I clamped down on
GIGI using my PC muscles, like if I was doing my Kegel exercises. Intense vibrations filled my groin then moved up to my navel.”
Gina: “I let go of
GIGI, because I knew it would stay in place in Kevin’s butt and straddled his hips in a reverse cowgirl position. This way I was able to continue to pull on his testicles while rubbing his penis all over my vaginal lips and clit. I could even feel GIGI’s vibration in my pelvis. It was so hot!”
Kevin: “I begged for release, the vibration intensity increased with Gina sitting on my lower abdomen. I could hardly stand it. She was rocking back and forth, my dick head barley entering her pussy.”
Gina: “I came twice in rapid succession, then had mercy on my poor butt-boy Kevin. I just touched the underside of his penis with one hand and sperm shot out of him like a canon. He made this incredible animal noise and thrashed beneath me. This brought me to climax one more time and then I slid off him.”
Kevin: “I swear I came so hard it was time to notify the next of kin.”
Gina: “I would have my turn with
GIGI the very next day. Basically Kevin and I changed positions. I began to pleasure myself with the vibe; first outside my vagina, then inside. Kevin insisted that I surrender myself to him, as he did to me. And master that he is, he orally pleasured me while he altered the GIGI pulsations on my G-spot. I was over the top in a matter of a couple minutes.”
Kevin: “It’s so much fun sharing our toys. We play really well together.”
Gina: “Because silicone products are nonporous and hypoallergenic, care and cleaning are a snap. For everyday cleanup a mild soap and water wash is fine. However, if you’re gonna share your toys sterilizing is recommended. You can swish the silicone end of
GIGI in a pot of boiling water for a couple minutes, dry it off and then it’s ready to go. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.”
…full review here


ENJOY

Be sure to look for more LELO reviews in weeks to come.



drdickvod.jpg

Totally Wacky

Sex Fans, The Dr Dick Review Crew has something totally wacky for ya today. It’s a WhackSock! Say WHAT? You heard me; a WhackSock. It’s a sock ya wear on your cock when ya wank. How fun is that? I guess it’s intended to keep your spooge off the furniture, don’t’ cha know.

This week’s Review Crew:

  • Glenn & Hank

WhackSock 6 pack $9.99

Glenn: “I got this huge smile on my face today, because I had a flashback to when I was a kid. I started masturbating when I was 11, but nothing came out till I was almost 13. Before I was able to ejaculate I could cum multiple time in one session. But once I started to shoot a wad when I wanked I could only cum once per session. Actually, I only had to wait a few minutes before I could resume my diddling.”
Hank: “I think they call that the ‘refactory period’. It’s part of a male’s sexual response cycle.”
Glenn: “Yeah, I know that! So as I was saying, before Professor Bingo over here interrupted me, I was surprised as all get out when I shot my first spunk. I thought I had injured myself. Since I was totally unprepared for the eruption I had to do something with the evidence ASAP. My mother would soon round the corner and come barging into my room.”
Hank: “Did she bust you spankin’ the monkey?”
Glenn: “Not that time, I’m happy to say! It took some quick thinkin on my part. But I label_low_20rez_1_-276x350discovered that ya could hide your boy juice in a dirty sock, and your old lady wouldn’t be the wiser.”
Hank: “Damn, you’re clever! I’d be willing to bet the just about every guy on the planet has dropped a load into a sock at one point or another.”
Glenn: “Yeah, it’s probably something in our DNA, huh? So anyway, that’s why I had to laugh when Dr Dick asked us to review the
WhackSock. My masturbation-obsessed youth came flooding back to me.”
Hank: “I know, I used to discard the socks I busted a nut in. I was afraid my mom would find me out. This, of course, backfired one day when my ever-vigilant mother uncovered a tangle of crusty socks in the trash. It didn’t take her long to put two and two together. This precipitated the big ‘sex talk’ with mommy that make my skin crawl. I was also marched off to confession to tell the priest about my disgusting and sinful behavior.”
Glenn: “I’ll bet the priest got off on that, huh?”
Hank: “Probably! I was a strappin’ young lad of over 6’ tall with ragin’ hormones and an unruly big dick. I was hung over 8” when I was just 15. It was so embarrassing, because I used to pop wood at the drop of a hat. I though having a big, precum drippon’ dick was a curse.”
Glenn: “Glad you got over that, cuz I love your one-eyed monster. But we digress! Let’s get whacksockback to the WhackSock. It’s a specifically designed cottony sock made for male masturbation. At least that’s what it says on the
WhackSock site.”
Hank: “Yep, it’s basically a tubesox; no bigger than what a young kid might wear on his feet. But it does stretch.”
Glenn: “And that’s where the fun began for us. Hank and I went to a costume party last month and our costumes consisted of a
WhackSock and nothing more. Hank’s trouser snake was the life of the party, literally and figuratively.”
Hank: “The stretchy cotton material could barely contain my johnson, so to speak.”
Glenn: “And it was all over when he got a boner! I loved it. I got to tell everyone that I am the lucky man that gets to have that hog up my ass whenever I want it. Tell me that didn’t make me the envy of all the queens at the party.”
Hank: “When we got home from the party, we both blissfully beat off into our
WhackSock, just like god intended.”

…full review here

ENJOY

drdickvod.jpg

Swingtime!

Look for my new

Product Review!

REVIEW #32

Hey sex fans!

I have two more outstanding DVD reviews for you.  My Three Way
and Amazing Sex For Women.

On several occasions I’ve called my audience’s attention to the fantastic video work my friend and colleague, Dr Michael Perry, is been doing over at AIM (Access Instructional Media).  And for good reason too, because Michael is a master of the sexual enrichment genre.  (See  REVIEW #7 below.)

As an aside, Michael was my guest for a couple of podcasts chats — #61 and #62.  During our conversation, Michael discusses his work and the astounding success he is having with his video line.  Be sure to check out these podcasts.

Just for the record, Michael’s DVDs knock me out.  In terms of sex education and sexual enrichment the AIM titles are unparalleled.

Let’s take a look at each of these DVDs each in turn.

We start with My Three Way — Approx 120 minutes $19.95

The promotional copy on the DVD box reads:  “How is it possible for couples to bring a third person into their intimate relationship? Many have thought about it. Lots of people fantasize about it. Some couples are actually practitioners in Open Relationship lifestyles.
• Find out why couples do it.
• See what they dare to do…to supercharge their relationship!
• Be tempted to arrange your own three way…at least in your fantasies!

The DVD begins with a quick overview of the entire Intimacy Guide Series.dvd_507

First off, we meet couple #1 in a cocktail lounge gettin all lovey-dovey.  Another woman, an acquaintance of the male partner winds up getting involved.  (Surprise!)  Before things get all hot and heavy though there is a brief spliced-in interview with the couple about why and how they do what they do.  Curiously enough, this is not a distraction from the action, but it actually adds to the story telling.  What follows is a beautiful 2-gal and 1-guy 3-way.  The sexual interaction in this piece is nicely shared between all the players, including gal-on-gal play.

There’s another interview snippet followed by a sweet gal-on-gal segment.

This is followed by yet another brief interview segment and a very sexy 2-guy and 1-gal 3-way.  All the sexual interaction in this piece is focused on the woman; the men do not interact sexually.  This may appeal to some, but it will be disappointing to others.

There is a bonus featurette on this DVD called My Birthday Surprise, which is another fine example of a 2-gal and 1-guy 3-way.

There is ample and diverse sexual expression in all the scenes.  And there is some nice use of sex toys too, which really adds to the production.

This is a wonderful primer on the ins and outs (no pun intended) of initiating and successfully executing a 3-way.  Like the promotional copy on the box suggests, if you are actually looking to open your relationship to include a 3rd or just think the 3-way idea is hot fantasy material, this is the DVD for you.

Here’s a tip:  for those of you who can’t, for whatever reason, buy this DVD you can rent it HERE for viewing online in Dr Dick’s How To Video Library.

Remember, this is not porn.  While the content is sexually explicit, the material is presented in a tasteful and romantic manner. Kudos to Michael Perry for producing this delightful and informative female oriented video.

Next we have — Amazing Sex For Women — 90 minutes $19.95

The promotional copy on the DVD box reads:  “The Bonk’er Spring is a truly revolutionary sex toy invented with the women’s pleasure in mind. This video shows you sex techniques not possible with any other sex gear. See our fun loving couples bounce weightlessly towards powerful orgasm after orgasm!”

What we have here is basically an infomercial for a rather amazing sex innovation from Bonkum, a

company that develops sex furniture.  It’s part spring, part swing and part sling.  Try to say that three times fast!

dvd525

With the help of a few adventuresome couples (and a 2-gal, one guy threesome) this video shows how easy and enjoyable it is to have a very athletic and versatile sex life.  The Bonkum swing is really interesting and amazingly adaptable.  Makes creative sex play not only enjoyable, but also effortless.

This video is full of wonderful eye candy of the heterosexual variety.  Too bad there’s not any man on man action to please the rest of us.  (Perhaps that will happen in another video.)  But there is a very nice light BDSM scene that will get your motor racing.

For those of you who can’t buy this DVD, for whatever reason, you can rent it HERE for viewing online in Dr Dick’s How To Video Library.

Again, I want to emphasize something about all the AIM titles.  Each is very sexy and sensual; most are sexually explicit; but none of them can rightly be called porn.  This is an important distinction, because the tone and focus of the AIM titles is completely different from the tone and focus of porn.  And even people who are put off by the notion of porn will have no objection to these videos.

ENJOY!

…all my reviews here

Look for REVIEW #32

drdickvod.jpg

A Thrill A Minute

Look for my new

Product Reviews!

REVIEW #29

Sex Fans,

The Dr Dick Review Crew is BACK! We’re all rested and relaxed and ready to tackle whatever cums our way.

We begin 2009 with a bang.  We have three vibes from Synergy Erotic.  They’re a relatively new company with a wonderful corporate philosophy, which includes everything from quality manufacturing to subtle yet effective packaging.  Good for them!

This week’s Review Crew includes:
Angie — Reviews #12, 16, 26
Glenn & Hank — Reviews #4, 16, 17, 18, 23. 24, 27
Jada — Reviews #14, 16, 20

Luscious Thrill-Her, Lavender $18.99

Angie introduces us to Luscious Thrill-Her.

Angie:
This is a sweet and petite personal vibrator (5 1/2 inch long and 1 1/2 inch in diameter).  It features a small diameter, which is ideal for the novice user.  Luscious Thrill-Her is perfect for both anal stimulation and vaginal stimulation.  It has a solid vibrator core that is encased in a sensual outer skin made of a product called Ultra-Gelle.  It is soft, pliable and very comfortable to use.

luscious

I tried to do a little behind the scenes sleuthing to ferret-out what this Ultra-Gelle is composed of, but I wasn’t successful.  I am generally wary of new materials that might contain hazardous or allergenic materials.  I was delighted to see that Ultra-Gelle is Phthalate free.  Thank you for that!  It says so right on the package, which is good for marketing.  I always look for that designation on any soft material, like Ultra-Gelle.  And so should you; especially if the toy is intended for insertion.  I am unable to say if Ultra-Gelle is latex-free or not.  If you have a latex allergy, you might contact the manufacturer for more information before you buy.  That’s always the safest bet.

Luscious Thrill-Her has several features I like very much.  First, it is waterproof, so it’s great to use in the bath.  It also has a rheostat type speed adjustment that allows one to vary the vibration.  This toy should only be used with water-based lube, however.

Clean up is easy; mild soap and warm water does just fine. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.

Luscious Thrill-Her runs on 2 ‘AAA’ Batteries, but the first set of batteries is not included in the package. This is a pet peeve for everyone on Dr Dick’s Review Crew.  We feel as though no one should be creating battery-operated toys without including the first set of batteries in the package.

Luscious Thrill-Her comes in several fetching colors.  I confidently recommend this petite insertable.”

Full review HERE.

Squirmy Touch-Me, Lavender    $24.99

Glenn & Hank introduce us to the Squirmy Touch-Me.

Glenn:  “Hey, ya wanna see my pink penis?”
Hank:  “Actually, it’s lavender, dude; not pink.”
Glenn:  “Oh, ok!  Hey, ya wanna see my lavender penis?”
Hank:  “Why are you always so wacky?”
Glenn:  “Ahhh, because god made me that way?  Besides, were talking about toys, aren’t we?  That call for a little levity, right?”  😉

squrmy

Hank:  “Alright then, let’s have it your way.  So Glenn, why don’t you show us your pretty new lavender penis.”
Glenn:  “Maybe I will.  Squirmy Touch-Me is 8 1/2 inch of vibrating cock.  It even looks like a cock. And when I’m buggerin’ myself, or having someone else cornholein’ me; I like the weapon of ass-destruction to look like a cock, OK?  I’m old fashioned that way.  If you don’t like your toys to look like a wang; that’s fine with me.  But I do; so there!  And check this out; Squirmy Touch-Me has a flexible shaft that bends then holds its shape.  I absolutely love it!”
Hank:  “Squirmy Touch-Me has this very interesting articulated spine so that the vibrating tip reaches your prostate (or G-spot) each and every time.  Then it does a little dance that’ll really put a smile on your face.”
Glenn:  “It has the same Ultra-Gelle skin, as the product Angie showed you earlier.  I like the feel of it in my hands, but even more so up my ass.”
Hank: “The same cleaning instructions that Angie gave you apply to the Squirmy Touch-Me, so I won’t repeat them.  But I do want to emphasize the water-based lube precaution.  You wouldn’t want to mess up this toy with a silicone-based or oil-based lube.”
Glenn:  “It’s waterproof, which I really love.  Rammin’ this baby home in the shower in the morning makes the perfect start to each and every day.  Oh, and it two speeds — yummy and even more yummier.”
Hank:  “We want to second what Angie said about the batteries.  When we’re faced with a choice of toys of equal worth; one with batteries in the package and one without; we always choose the one with batteries.  We want to support the companies who are going the extra mile.”
Glenn:  “Considering the price of this puppy, it’s a great starter vibrating dildo for anyone lookin for a little Gelle fun.”

Full review HERE.

Vibe-Me Massager, Luster Blue    $11.99

Jada introduces us to the Vibe-Me Massager.

Jada
Isn’t this a beauty?  It’s so shiny and sleek.  It looks like it’s made of metal, but it’s not.  The Vibe-Me Massager is an 8-inch hard plastic bodied waterproof vibrator.  There’s nothing soft of squishy here.  It contains a powerful motor, yet it is very quiet.  I really appreciate that.  I hate it when toys are loud enough to wake the dead.

vibe-me

The Vibe-Me Massager has several features I liked very much.  Like the two other vibes that we are featuring today, mine is also waterproof.  Angie, Glenn and I agree that a waterproof vibe is so convenient to use when one is already naked…like in the bath.  It also has a rheostat type speed adjustment that allows one to vary the vibration, just like the one Angie showed you.

Because the Vibe-Me Massager is non-porous, you can use any sort of personal lube you’d like with this toy.   I’m partial to silicone-based lube, so that’s what I use.  But water-based lube works equally well. The Vibe-Me Massager will stay slick either way.

Clean up is easy — mild soap and warm water works fine.  But you can sanitize more fully with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.  This is a highly recommended procedure if you will be sharing your toys.

The bullet shape makes insertion effortless.  And I must say I love the metallic blue color, it’s so pretty.

Unlike my friend Glenn here, I have a preference for a less penis identifiable shape to my dildos.  So does my husband.  I’m sure I would feel the same way he does if I were a man using an insertable on a woman.  Who needs the obvious comparison between the dildo and the real thing?

And just to make it unanimous, I concur with everyone else on the battery issue.”

Full review HERE.

ENJOY!