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Boys Will Be Boys

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Name: James
Gender: Male
Age: 19
Location:
I want to know if I should have sex with a man for the first time.

Well gee, darlin’, I suppose that would all depend on if you are into man-sex or not. If you are, I suppose having your first encounter will be like falling off a log. However, if you’re not into gay sex, then why would you even be considering such a thing.boys kissing

For the sake of argument, let’s just say you are into some hot man-on-man action, or think you are. If that’s the case, I have some questions. Do you have a particular partner in mind? If you do, what is it about this guy that makes you want to get physical with him? If you’re honest with yourself about this, you will probably be able to determine what kind of sexual contact you want to have with the dude. Which brings me to my next set of questions.

What kind of gay sex are you looking to experiment with? Something light, like kissing, making out, mutual masturbation, shared hand-jobs? For more information on this, check out my swell tutorial about hand jobs titled: The Art Of The Humble Hand Job.

Perhaps you’re looking to be a bit more adventurous, like cock sucking. That’s great too. But wait! Would you know how to smoke some pole with grace and ease? If not, check out my tutorial: So Ya Wanna Be A World-Class Cocksucker …Or How To Give The Perfect Blow Job. To find this brilliant expose and lots more information about the humble hummer, go to the CATEGORY pull down menu in the sidebar and look for “ORAL.” Then look for Cock Sucking.

Maybe you’re considering butt fucking. That’s a bit advanced for the gay sex novice, but it’s not unheard of. If I were you, I’d return to the CATEGORY pull down menu in the sidebar and check out the heading “ANAL”. There you will be treated to loads of information about being a good top, like my tutorial, Finessing That Ass Fuck — A Tutorial For a Top. As well as my tutorial for being a good bottom, Liberating The B.O.B Within.

There’s only one thing you absolutely need to know when it comes to ass fuckin, regardless of what position floats your boat. Be sure that whoever is on top uses a condom. And if you don’t know why you need to do that, then darlin’, you’re just not ready for sex with any kind of partner…same sex or otherwise.

Good luck

Name: Tony
Gender: Male
Age: 24
Location:
I’m trying to find out how to get ink marks off my dick without hurting my dickhead.

Whoops! Looks like you need to reevaluate the company you keep when you drink to the point of passing out, my friend.

I realize writin’ shit on a guy’s johnson while he’s unconscious is a hilarious practical joke among the frat-boy crowd. I mean, what could be funnier, right? Of course being on the receiving end of this little prank, like our friend Tony here, is considerably less comical.

i enjoy penisRidding oneself of ink marks, particularly the indelible variety, from one’s privates is a pain — both literally and figuratively. The best one can say about this clean-up chore is that it will probably cure the guy of binge drinking, at least with a bunch of rowdy adolescent-minded companions with Sharpie markers and too much time on their hands.

OK, Tony, here’s what you do. First, apply a liberal coat of baby oil or mineral oil to the effected area. Take your time massaging the oil into your skin. You may discover that this oily massage gives you a woody. That may be the silver lining to your ink-stained cloud. Actually having an erection will help expand the skin of your dickhead and allow the mineral oil to better penetrate the skin. The oil will sink into your skin and help lift the ink stain to the surface.

Follow this part of the treatment with lots of warm soap and water. You should see ink stain lessening.

Next, massage in a liberal mount of rubbing alcohol. Follow this with more warm soap and water.

Continue alternating between mineral oil followed by soap and water and rubbing alcohol followed by soap and water. Always ending the treatment with the soap and water part. A couple applications like this should do the trick. I would, however, recommend that you be as gentle as possible. If the satin persists after two such applications, give your prick a day to rest before attacking the stain again.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

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Spank The Monkey

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Hey sex fans!

It’s Friday, and not only that, it’s Product Review Friday!

Over the years we’ve had a great relationship with the wonderful folks over at Big Teaze Toys. But sadly, we haven’t had any new products from them for a long, long time. In fact, the last review we did for them was in November 2009. (By the way, you can find all our Big Teaze Toys reviews HERE!

Happily, the drought is now over. Some weeks ago I talked Big Teaze Toys into sending me their newest creation. And oh boy, howdy! But wait, I don’t want to spoil the fun. Dr Dick Review Crew members Jack & Karen are here with their review.

VërSpanken Bumpy —— $31.29
VërSpanken Smooth Water Wieners —— $24.99

VërSpanken001

Jack & Karen
Karen: “My goodness, it’s been over a year since our last review. Where does the time go? We were busy with a move and then we welcomed a baby boy, our first, into our family. No wonder we’ve been out of the loop for so long.”
Jack: “Well, we’re glad to be back. And we have an amazing product to tell you about. It’s called a VërSpanken. I have the bumpy one, but it also comes in smooth and wavy. I’ll get to that in a minute.”
Karen: “I was kinda hoping we’d get a couple-oriented product as our first toy of the new year, so I was a little disappointed when I discovered the VërSpanken is toy for guys. That’s what I thought until I took a closer look.”
Jack: “It’s true, the VërSpanken is a male masturbation toy, but Karen and I have been using it together and having a ball. I only wish I had this thing that last couple of months of Karen’s pregnancy. I wouldn’t have worn out my hand quite so much.”VER-SPANKEN-WAVY-WITH-FOAMWIENERS-SOLID-PURPLE
Karen: “Since the baby I haven’t been feeling as sexy as I used to. I’m so glad my libido is slowly returning. But I still don’t often feel like getting involved in full-on sex and that’s where the VërSpanken really comes in handy. I don’t have to leave Jack high and dry just because I don’t feel like sex.”
Jack: “Ok, I think it’s high time for us to tell you everything you need to know about the VërSpanken. I know this is gonna sound weird, but my initial impression was that it looked like this big alien pussy.”
Karen: “He was looking at it vertically, but if you turn it sideways and look at it horizontally, it looks like a big alien mouth. It’s actually pretty comical.”
Jack: “Karen’s right! I guess you can tell I had pussy on the brain when I first saw the VërSpanken. That’s what happens when you go without for so long. Anyhow, there’s this black hard plastic housing that is hinged at the base and snaps shut at the top. When you open the black plastic case you see two foam inserts. These inserts come in three fun vibrant colors and three textures. These inserts are made of TPR (Thermo Plastic Rubber).”
Karen: “Here’s how it works. You open the black plastic housing, lube up the deliciously spongy inserts, put your man’s penis between them and close the housing once again. It looks hilarious, but it drove Jack crazy with pleasure. The inserts make an encompassing sensation. You can move it up and down over the penis or twist it from side to side.”
Jack: “It’s true! It’s totally wacky, but oh so effective. Pumping my dick in and out of the VërSpanken is a kick. It’s so tight and the sensations are fantastic. I’ve used a few masturbation sleeves in the past, but I’ve never felt anything like this. It’s a one-size-fits-all kind a thing, and for once that claim is actually true. No matter the size of your cock, the VërSpanken will work for you.”water wieners
Karen: “But that’s not all! Along with the VërSpanken we also got two additional inserts called Water Wieners. Here’s where it really gets fun. The Water Wieners are like water balloons that you can heat or chill before popping them into the black plastic housing. This adds to the sensation play. One evening last week I blindfolded Jack and restrained his hands so he couldn’t touch his penis. I replaced the bumpy foam inserts with the warmed Water Wieners, lubed up the VërSpanken, and slipped it over his erection. I thought he was going to hit the roof.”
Jack: “Damn right! Holy shit, what a rush. I didn’t know if the Water Wieners were going to cold or hot and I had no control over how the Karen was using it on me. She just did what she pleased till I begged her to make me cum.”
Karen: “I loved being in control of his orgasm like that. Obviously a guy can use the VërSpanken solo, but I think couple fun is the best. I also like that it’s so easy clean. The squishy inserts easily pop out of the hard plastic housing and everything goes into a sink with warm soapy water. Then rinse and air dry; it couldn’t be easier. It’s safe, fun, and eco-friendly.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

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More of The Erotic Mind of Christine Warren — Podcast #319 — 02/06/12

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Hello sex fans! Welcome back.

We’re back with more of The Erotic Mind of the New York Times and USA Today Bestselling author, Christine Warren. She charmed the pants off us last week and so I absolutely had to have her come back this week for more.

But wait; you didn’t miss Part 1 of our conversation, did you? Well not to worry if you did, because you will find it and all of my shows in the podcast archive right here on my site. All ya gotta do is use the site’s search function in the header, type in podcast #318 and Voilà! But don’t forget to use the #sign when you do your search.

As a special treat, Christine reads from her novel, Born To Be Wild.

Christine and I discuss:

  • Her early writing and the support she received from her family;
  • Discovering Romantica;
  • The embarrassment factor;
  • Writing what she knows;
  • Her audience;
  • Where her plot ideas come from;
  • Writing rituals;
  • The secret baby;
  • Romance and safer sex;
  • Who inspires her and who are her sexual heroes.

Christine invites you to visit her on her site HERE! Find her on Facebook HERE and Twitter HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Fleshlight & FleshJack.

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Touched for the very first time…

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Virginity is a very touchy issue in just about every culture. Curiously enough, it’s almost always exclusively about female virginity. This woeful double standard gives rise to emotional conflicts for both genders. But again, it is young women and girls who bear the brunt of it.

Let’s begin with Katelyn who’s 18 years old:

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. We’ve just started talking about having sex even though we both took a virginity pledge through our church. We love each other very much and plan on getting married in a couple of years. If we are practically engaged do you think having sex now would be like breaking our promise?

I’m pretty sure that the creators of all those “abstinence only” and “virginity pledge” programs out there like to think they’re keeping kids like you safe from the unforeseen consequences of sex. I’d probably have less of a problem with them if they didn’t have at their base some pretty rank scare tactics.

Scaring people away from sex is a time-honored means of controlling people.

If you have sex, you well surely get a disease!

If you have sex, you will surely get pregnant!

If you have sex, you will be breaking the commandments and you’ll go to hell!

If you have sex, you will be a slut and no one will want to marry you!

And my all-time favorite: If he gets the milk for free, why would he buy the cow?

These sex-negative messages only frighten, intimidate and instill guilt. They certainly don’t teach people how to behave knowledgeably and responsibly. And they do absolutely nothing to prepare even those who wind up honoring their pledge of abstinence for the inevitable sex life they’ll have later in life. And that to my mind is criminal. Young people have a natural, healthy curiosity about their bodies and the bodies of others. Stifling this natural curiosity with veiled threats and fear-mongering does very little good—and a whole lot of harm.

But before I respond to your question, I have a question for you. I hope you’re not actually thinking I might help you rationalize away your impending behavior—Oh sure honey, if you’re gonna marry the lug anyway, why not give it up now?—because I won’t go there. Have the courage to make up your own mind. If you’re old enough to be considering sex, you’re old enough to take responsibility for your actions.

If you abstain from sex out of fear or religious duress, then where’s the virtue in that? It’s just as bad as having sex because you fear losing your boyfriend. Neither option suggests to me that you are behaving knowledgeably and responsibly.

Of course, it’s always easier to decide on a course of action when one has all the information. And that’s where I can be of some assistance. I’m not gonna tell you what you oughtta do, but I can offer you some timely information about human sexuality that you apparently aren’t getting from your family, church or your community.

There are many sexual alternatives to full-on fucking. And if you want to remain a virgin, at least technically speaking, you might want to explore these options.

Are you both masturbating? If not, then that’s a good place to begin. You should both be familiar with your own pleasure zones and sexual response cycle before you launch into partnered sex of any kind. I believe that the best sex is mutual sex, where the partners knowingly and without reservation gift themselves to one another. And I don’t see how that’s possible unless you are well-acquainted with the gift…your own body.

I can guarantee that your boyfriend won’t know how to pleasure you, especially if he’s still discovering the pleasures of his own body. And you’d be a very remarkable young woman if you understood the mysteries of male sexuality. So if you’re both unversed in the joys of human sexuality, why not discover them together? Mutual masturbation—as well as oral sex—will help you appreciate the particulars and uniqueness of each of your sexual response cycles. And just think how far ahead you’ll be when you guys actually decide it’s time for full-on fucking. You’ll already know how your bodies work.

Even so, the two of you should be familiar with several different means of birth control—and practicing at least two methods. This is a precaution because, in the heat of the moment, you may decide to escalate things to include vaginal penetration. And if you do, you’ll be prepared. Always have water-based lubricants on hand, even for masturbation. These lubricants work very well with latex condoms. Oil lubricants, like petroleum jelly, baby oil or cooking oil, can cause latex condoms to break. So stay away from them.

I realize that procuring all this stuff is gonna be a challenge for young folks like you. But don’t just blow them off just because they’re not readily available to you. This is a big part of being knowledgeable and responsible about your sexuality. If you’re not prepared to go the distance in terms of preparation, you’re not ready to have sex.

Young men and boys have their share of trepidation about impending partnered sex. Here’s 18-year-old Tabor.

I feel kinda silly asking a complete stranger this, but here goes. I’m a pretty normal 18 year old. I’ve had a few girlfriends over the years, nothing really serious, though. Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of this one girl; she’s 20, a junior at my school. I really like her and we’re discussing taking our friendship to the next level, but there’s a problem. I’m a virgin. My girlfriend is way more experienced than me and that makes me a little nervous too. She wants me to decide when the time is right. My question is how will I know when I’m ready for sex?

I have a question for you, Tabor, and I hope it doesn’t sound flippant. When do you know it’s time to eat, or sleep? I know many of us eat even when we’re not hungry and sometimes we don’t sleep even when we’re tired. That aside, I suggest that the same bodily signals that alert you to hunger and exhaustion will let you know when it’s time for sex. You’ll want to have sex when you feel the desire to be sexual. I’m not trying to be evasive; I’m trying to get you to listen to your body, because that’s how you’ll know. To be perfectly frank, that’s how all of us know it’s time for sex. We get a hankerin’ for some pleasure and we pursue that till we’re satisfied. Sometimes that’s solo sex and sometimes it’s partnered sex.

If I were to advise you further I’d want to know how much sex you’ve already had with your GF. Has there been any sex play at all? Probably some, right? Otherwise how would you know you like her well enough to consider taking things to the next level?

Penis/vagina intercourse, or as I like to call it, “fucking,” can bring more intimacy and more pleasure than other forms of sex, but it’s not the be-all end-all either. Fucking also carries far more responsibility, particularly for fertile young puppies like you and your honey.

Is it safe to assume that you are well-versed in the complexities of the human reproductive system? I hope so. Not everyone is, of course, even some otherwise smart people. If you’re not clear on the whole concept, there’s no time like the present to do a little boning up, so to speak. Being responsible about sex is as important as being sexual. And being informed about health risks and contraception is the beginning of taking responsibility for your sexual activity.

Remember what I said earlier—that you’ll want to have sex when your body says so? Well, if you take the time to prepare now, you’ll not need to interrupt the moment when your body tells you I’m ready! You should discuss birth control with your girlfriend in advance of any foolin’ around. You should have condoms and lube available. Don’t expect that you’ll have your wits about you when your dick is hard. Remember, you’re not the one who’ll get pregnant if ya’ll screw up. I’ll bet your sweetheart will be impressed with your forethought, too.

Remember, even if your girlfriend is on the pill or has a diaphragm; condoms are a must. One in every ten sexually active teens carries one or more STDs or as we call them nowadays, STIs (sexually transmitted infections). You can consider dropping the condoms only when you’re in an exclusive relationship.

Good luck!

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Oh sweet mystery of life at last I found you

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In lieu of Product Review Friday, we have some interesting Q&A about sex toys.

Name: Tadd
Gender: Male
Age: 31
Location: Arizona
In one of your podcasts you told some guy about a strap on kit he could buy for his GF. Could you repeat that? I’ve been trying to find one.

I responded to an inquiry from Karol from Poland a while back. He asked about a strap-on kit. I told him: “As to your question about a strap-on and what a guy should know about buying one for his female partner. I suspect the overriding concern for the amateur butt pirate is to get his gal a comfortable harness that can accommodate a couple different sized dildos. I suggested that he turn his attention to the Dr Dick’s Stockroom banner in the sidebar. I told him to click through there and search for the Bend Over Beginner Harness Kit (B664).  The good people at Dr Dick’s Stockroom have painstakingly put together everything you need for your first pegging!”

  • Is there someone in your life who is curious about strapping it on, but doesn’t know quite where to begin? Well, we have the perfect starter kit! Everything a beginning sensuous player would need to strap it on is included in this package (except their favorite water-soluble lubricant – sold separately).
  • This strap-on harness is low-riding with a fuzzy, deep purple velvet front and highly adjustable nylon straps. The kit has 2 color coordinated, shimmery purple dildos. These hypoallergenic silicone dildos are shaped and sized appropriately for those just beginning anal play adventures. The smaller is approximately 4″ long and 3⁄4″ wide, while the larger one is 5″ long and 11⁄4″ wide.
  • A powerful variable-speed mini-vibe sits in a secret pocket behind the dildo to give the wearer an extra jolt of fun. The straps are adjustable, fitting up to 50″ hips. The 1.5″ O-ring can be exchanged for play with other sized dildos (sold separately). Washable, smart, and sexy. Bottom line – this is one hot strap-on package!

Name: Gary
Age: 58
Location: Tampa
I’m a widower; my wife of 29 years died a little over a year ago. I’m just now getting back into the swing of thing. The sex I had with my wife was very conventional now I want to try something different. I want to go to a dominatrix. I’ve always had a fantasy about a woman owning and punishing my privates. It’s a big turn on. Is there anything I should know about this?

I love it, another kinkster in the making. Coming out as a perv, in my opinion, is better done late than never. My first suggestion is that you find a better term for your privates than “privates”. You sound like your mommy. I suggest cock and balls, it pretty much says it all very succinctly.

Have you done your homework in terms of finding the right dominatrix? I suppose you have at least a couple in mind, right? Might I suggest that when you make contact with one or another of these professional women that you be very specific about what you want and how you want it. You can ask for some hot CBT (cock and ball torture). Ya see, knowing the right vocabulary will often expedite your getting precisely what you are looking for.

Here’s a tip…a good submissive, or sub — that’s you, Gary, will want to bring his dominatrix, or dom a little gift to start things off on the right foot. May I suggest this little number: A Male Chastity Kit (B702). Look for it in the Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

  • The CB-3000 represents the latest design in modern male chastity devices from the same designers who invented the best-selling CB-2000 and The Curve. Some customers wanted a size mid-way between the CB-2000 and The Curve. The manufacturers listened to our customers’ requests and have allowed us to bring you this exciting new male chastity device.
  • The natural flow of lines in this model represents the cock and conforms to the body. The slim, smooth lines permit the CB-3000 to be worn easily under clothing. It is slightly vented with curving lines and custom openings for comfort and hygiene. The material, a highly durable transparent polycarbonate, is functional and appealing, and its strength exceeds that of acrylic and many other plastic blends.
  • Some men find it possible to use the urinals while wearing the CB-3000, though most find it more practical to sit. When locked with a plastic lock, the device will not set off metal detectors in airports or at other security checkpoints. So it is possible to wear the device 24/7 without interfering with travel or business routines. (Just make sure to use the plastic lock and not the brass lock under these circumstances.) This compact design involves no uncomfortable belts, straps or chains.
  • The CB-3000 consists of two main parts, the cage portion (inside length 3″ – inside diameter 1 3/8″) and the cuff ring. They easily slide together by means of two guide pins and a locking pin. The guide pins extend from the cage portion. Different-sized spacing rings are provided to allow a personalized fit.
  • The five rings included in the kit have inside diameters of 1_”, 1 5/8″, 1_”, 1 7/8″, and 2″. Once you find the right spacing, simply use a pair of side cutter pliers to snip the ends of the guide pins and then smooth the edges with an emery board or file. The locking pin is slightly recessed into the body cuff.
  • The Body Cuff comes in five different sizes, and swivels open at the bottom so that it can be closed easily around the cock and balls. Align the locking pin holes with the locking pins on the main part of the cage, add the proper amount of spacers, and then install the cage portion. The balls will then be trapped between the cuff and the cage. The smooth, rounded design minimizes pinching and chafing while being worn.
  • Finding the right-sized Body Cuff is extremely important for reasons of comfort and security. It should be as tight as possible without cutting off any circulation. If you are wearing a cuff that is too tight, it will cause some swelling and discoloration of the ball sac. If you see any discoloration, or experience numbness or aching discomfort, you definitely need to go to the next larger size. If you have a particularly high (short/tight) ball sac, you may find that you will need to stretch the ball sac slightly before the CB-3000 becomes comfortable and suitable for longer-term wear. For the most comfortable fit, the balls should hang below the cage and cuff ring. to prevent pinching.
  • I highly recommend applying baby oil/gel (or a similar product) to your cock with a cotton swab after showering. This practice allows your willie to move naturally up and down in the cage portion. Then you should be able to wear it 24/7 for indefinite periods of time. Some people have kept it on for months.
  • The CB-3000 kit includes the following: One brass padlock with 2 keys, 5 individually numbered, tamper-proof plastic locks, 3 different lengths of locking pins and 5 differently-sized spacers.

Good luck

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