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If it’s not one thing, it’s another…

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Name: Malcolm
Gender: Male
Age: 40
Location: Johannesburg
I’m in love with this guy who is as sweet as the day is long. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner. What makes him so charming is he’s only recently come out as gay. Before this he was married. He is not jaded like so many other guys I meet. But there’s a problem. He’s real vanilla. I guess that’s the down side of coming out of a heterosexual marriage at the age of 35. He’s happy as a clam fucking me a couple times a week. He thinks anal sex is really adventurous and sexually daring. I on the other hand, am suffocating in the boredom. I know, now I sound really jaded, but I can’t help it. It’s just that there’s so much more to sex than what we are doing. I want to introduce him to some kinky shit, but I’m afraid that I will scare him off. What the fuck should I do?

I absolutely adore messages that start out: “I’m so in love. He/she is everything I ever wanted, blah, blah, blah!” Because I know that only a few words later the other shoe is gonna drop, and drop hard. “But there’s a problem, blah, blah, blah!”

Of course there’s a problem. There is always a problem…even with Mr. or Ms. Perfect, or maybe because your honey is so freakin perfect. Take it from me, sexual dissatisfaction will upset even the most tranquil and rosy apple cart and send everyone into a tizzy. Allow me to share with you something I wrote about this very issue about ten years ago. I think you will find the advice as fresh as the day it was written.

So you’ve met the person of your dreams only you haven’t got around to telling your new honey your dirty little secret. The sweet thing hasn’t a clue that you’re itchin’ for some big time bondage. Or that you’d sell your soul to be dominated like the scum that you are. Or you’re salivating over that dildo you have tucked away in the attic, the one that could be mistaken for a floor lamp. Or you’re craving to be spanked till your shameless ass glows in the dark. Or you want to hump his/her feet like a dog and gobble up his/her toe jam. Or you have this nasty little thing about spike heels, frilly knickers and jungle red lipstick.

Never fear, Dr. Dick has heard it all a million times before. Some sorry pervert’s got it bad for white bread. Dear Dr. Dick, Help! I’m in love with the sweetest guy/gal in the word, but our sex life is all vanilla all the time. I’m bored shitless! I know how to liven things up, you see I have this fetish (you fill in the blank) but I don’t know how to tell him/her about it and I’m afraid s/he’ll freak if s/he finds out. What’s a perv to do?

Introducing your partner to your personal world of kink is tricky; the whole little love match could blow up in your face. But a life of pretense and sexual boredom isn’t the way to go either. Why not just stand tall like the disgusting depraved creature you are and brazenly proclaim your fetish to little Mary Sunshine. After all, unless your boyfriend or gal-pal is as dumb as a post s/he’s already figured out that your mutual sex life limps. Besides, there’s nothing more satisfying than corrupting an innocent. Who knows, s/he may have secrets of his/her own.

Here’s what I suggest. Casually direct the conversation to the amazing variety of human sexual expression. You could reassure your sweetie that just because some things are unfamiliar don’t make them bad. Tell him/her that you’ve been waiting for your relationship to mature so that you could share the intricacies of your desires with him/her. This can be one of those precious bonding moments that Oprah’s always talkin’ about. This might be a good time to view that special video you picked up in the kink section of the local porn emporium. Invite her/him to explore your fantasy with you. Tell the little flower that your love for him/her demands that you share the fullness of your sexuality with her/him. Then pick one turn-on for the two of you to experiment with — lingerie, toys, dominance and submission, role-playing, whatever.

Decide on a safe-word, an out of context word your partner could use if the experiment is heading in an uncomfortable direction. For example, if the dildo is too big or the lipstick is too red, s/he could say “pickles.” The safe-word, when uttered in the scenario, will let you know that you need to change direction or slow down without completely destroying the built up sexual energy.

If this initiation process doesn’t work Dr. Dick suggests that you cut your losses and dump the white bread. Go out and find yourself a kindred spirit, someone you won’t have to apologize to for being creative in your sex play.

Good luck

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5th Anniversary Q&A Show — Podcast #320 — 02/13/12

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Hey sex fans,

Hey everybody, Happy Valentine’s Day! And guess what? This week’s show marks my fifth anniversary of podcasting. I know! Isn’t that fuckin great? I mean who would have guessed that we’d enjoy such a long run.

And what a year it has been too. I brought you fascinating interviews with remarkable people for all of my series. Play With It series, which features conversations with folks in the adult products industry. The Sex EDGE-U-cation series, which features chats with kinksters and porn stars and advocates of alternative lifestyles. The SEX WISDOM series, which brings you interviews with the movers and shakers n the field of human sexuality. And, of course, The Erotic Mind series, which is now four years old.

But today I have a bunch of very interesting questions from the sexually worrisome to dazzle you with. So let’s launch ourselves into year #6 with a bang.

  • Danny has a short fuse.
  • Daniel asks about sex after a prostatectomy.
  • Janet wants to know which sex toys are right for her and her partner.
  • Terria Lee has new a heavy hung BF, but the fuck is uncomfortable.
  • Loveuniforms want to know about piss enemas.
  • Amber is experiencing painful intercourse too.
  • Ash has a thing for the people she sees in porn, but not in real life.
  • Nikky has only one ball. Will that be a problem?
  • Kristin thinks her partner might be cheating on her.
  • Robin wants to crossdress and be submissive, but will he allow himself to do that?

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Review.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

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A potpourri of poignant problems

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Name: Catherine Joanne
Gender: Female
Age: 42
Location: Canada, Alberta
I am in a very loving, understanding, compassionate relationship, which I have been waiting for for some time now. The only thing is he stimulates my emotional side in every way, but in the bedroom he is not as sexual as previous partners I have encountered. I do not know if this is because all my previous relationships have always been about the “sex” and fizzled out, shortly there after, or this is how a “real love thing truly is?” If so, how can I mentally get over this one…he’s just not inventive, or has a lack of sexual knowledge. I don’t want to end this loving relationship over the bed issue. Please help me out on this one, so I do not sabotage this relationship. Sincerely, Catherine

Like my momma always used to say, if it has four wheels or a dick, you know you’re gonna have trouble with it. Listen darlin’, if this guy satisfies as much as you say, hold on to him. He’s a keeper.

You can always teach the old dog some new tricks. Of course, you’re gonna have to take the lead in his sex ed. Let’s just hope he’s not threatened by a woman who is more sexually experienced, adventurous and progressive than he is.

That being said, I think you ought to make your peace with the fact that he’ll probably never become a wild fuck. But then again, you probably don’t want that, because those wild fucks don’t make for loving, understanding and compassionate partners…as you already know.

Just remember: It’s as hard to domesticate a wild fuck, as it is to make a domestic fuck — wild!

Good luck

Name: Jamie
Gender: Female
Age: 28
Location: Georgia
Lately when me and my boyfriend have sex, he’s been pulling out because he says his dick burns. WHY IS HE HAVING THAT PROBLEM?

What you got goin’ on in your pussy, girl? Nothing about a healthy cunt is gonna irritate a guy’s dong. SEE YOUR DOCTOR RIGHT AWAY!

Hey wait a minute! Maybe he’s the one with the problem. Maybe he has some kind of a skin irritation or rash or something. And his willie is gettin irritated inside you. HE OUGHTA SEE HIS DOCTOR RIGHT AWAY!

Say, have you seen his dick up close and in good light lately…ever? I am painfully aware that lots of couples never see one another fully naked even when their doin’ the nasty. This is not a good practice. You should not only know all about your own pussy and how to keep it in perfect working order, but you should have some working knowledge of how a healthy cock looks and operates. If you’re not clear on this you have some homework to do.

And what the fuck are you two doin screwin’ around without using a condom? Are you on the pill? You’d better be. Cuz if you ain’t ya’ll are gonna have a whole lot more to worry about than cock burns, if ya catch my drift.

Good luck

Name: Chris P.
Gender: Male
Age: 21
Location: Montgomery AL
Can it be unhealthy to deliberately avoid male ejaculation for long periods of time? Months, Years? Is it practiced maybe by religious? Can it be done?

Yes, it can be done. And no, it’s not necessarily an unhealthy practice! Some people practice total sexual abstinence for their entire adult life. Some of these people do so for religious reasons, others simply because they aren’t particularly interested in sex. Either way, there’s no real evidence that this practice is injurious to one’s health. What I can say for sure is that if one chooses or embraces sexual abstinence as a means to a higher goal, it is virtuous. If abstinence is mandated or practiced out of fear or repression, there is no virtue.

That being said, I do want to remind you of something I’ve written about a lot recently. It concerns the groundbreaking research on the connection between masturbation and prostate cancer. Australian researchers questioned over 1,000 men who had developed prostate cancer and 1,250 men who had not, about their sexual habits. They found those who ejaculated the most between the ages of 20 and 50 were least likely to develop prostate cancer.

The protective effect of frequent ejaculations was greatest when the men were in their 20’s. Get this; men who ejaculated more than five times a week were one third less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life. Kind of amazing, huh?

I think you should also know that even if you don’t purposely ejaculate, like through jerkin off or partnered sex, your body still needs to rid itself of old stale semen in another way. Think of it like this, when your bladder gets full you take a wiz. When your prostate and seminal vesicles get full you take a jizz. It’s as simple and natural as all that. If you don’t relieve yourself of your joy juice on your own, your body will rid itself of your old spooge in a wet dream, or it will flush it out of your system in your urine. It’s like if you didn’t relieve yourself when your bladder got full, you’d piss anyhow, only it wouldn’t be able to properly direct it. Get it? Got it? Good!

Good luck

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Get your wood the natural way!

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Hey there sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday and I have the pleasure of welcoming yet another new company, LibidoStack, to our review effort.

Dr Dick Review Crew members, Mick, Carlos and I bring you the results of our experimentation.

LibidoStack —— $49.95 (10 capsules, one month supply)

Dr Dick: For review purposes, the manufacturer of LibidoStack sent me a package containing ten capsules in a tamperproof bubble-pack. The claim is that their all-natural herbal product is supposed to improve one’s sexual health and performance. This is equivalent to 10 doses — one capsule per dose. (My contact at LibidoStack tells me that a 10-pack is a month’s supply; a capsule every three days.)

Being the generous kinda guy that I am, I shared my LibidoStack stash with two of my fellow Dr Dick Review Crew members — Carlos and Mick. I gave my colleagues the lion share of the product. They both got four capsules equaling 4 doses. I used the remaining two myself. We will each take our turn reporting our findings. I’ll go first.

So what is LibidoStack exactly? The manufacturer says it’s a “…proprietary all natural male enhancement blend was researched and developed by our team of highly-acclaimed biochemists, and research analysts.” They claim their product will produce “…increased sexual pleasure, harder and longer lasting erections, and increased sex desire.”

The LibidoStack website list the ingredients, which they claim “consists of herbs, minerals, and amino acids.” They list the ingredients HERE! http://libidostack.com/index.php/how-it-works.html

I took the time to look up each and every ingredient listed. I found that the health benefits associated with these herbal extracts include — an increase in energy and virility; as well as antioxidant, anti-inflammatory and antibacterial properties. So if nothing else, I figured my LibidoStack experience would not harm me in any way.

My experience — I used LibidoStack on two different occasions and followed the directions on the package each time — Take one capsule with warm water 60 minutes after a meal.

Before I continue, I must confess that I always approach products like this with a healthy dose of skepticism. And I’m always on the lookout for the placebo effect — the suggestion of an effect creates the effect. But I did have two opportunities to test this product over a span of 10 days so I would have had to be very suggestible for the placebo effect to play much of a role on both occasions. And I can tell you; I’m not that suggestible.

I am familiar with the effects of Viagra and its companion drugs, Levitra and Cialis. So I do have a frame of reference when it comes to judging the effects of herbal products, like LibidoStack. I can honesty say I was pleased with this product’s performance. It works by building up in your system as opposed to producing its effect immediately.

LibidoStack had a more gradual effect than the pharmaceuticals I’ve used, but that’s not a bad thing. What amazed me is that LibidoStack is as effective as any the medically prescribed drugs I’ve tested, but it is much kinder to my system. There were no headaches, unsightly flushes, upset stomach, rise in blood pressure or altered vision. This made me very happy indeed.

In doing reviews like this there is the danger of generalizing from one person’s experience. I want to avoid this by stating every human body is unique. Each of us metabolizes what we consume in a slightly different way. Keep this in mind if you try LibidoStack. The degree of erection, as well as the time it takes to get hard on this product (or any such product, including the pharmaceuticals) will depend on one’s age, overall health and the amount of sexual stimulation one is receiving.

Oh, and this is not an aphrodisiac, people! Wood is not gonna miraculously happen on it’s own.

I also want to be clear on another point — LibidoStack is not miracle potion. It will not override an unhealthy lifestyle. But it can positively effect one’s sexual response cycle; making arousal easier, which will make one a more confident lover.

I have a couple more thoughts that I will share at the end of this review. But now I want to bring in Carlos and Mick so that they can share their findings.

Mick: “I’m sold on LibidoStack. I’ve been having erections issues since my prostate cancer diagnosis. My doc believes the problem is all in my head. He can’t find any physical reason why the plumbing doesn’t work like it should, although I do have high blood pressure. So I can’t take Viagra because of that.
LibidoStackworked fine the first time, but better the fourth time I tried it. LibidoStack doesn’t come on like a freight train; it’s way more subtle than that. Like Dr Dick said, it really boosted my confidence. And if that’s all I needed, I’m a happy guy.”
Carlos: “I’m impressed too. LibidoStack exceeded my expectations.
I’ve tried several other herbal products in my time, because Viagra is so fuckin’ expensive. But none of the other products matched LibidoStack’s performance.
I do need to say, however, that I didn’t experience the effects of LibidoStack as quickly as did Mick. Of course, I’m a much bigger guy. I also took my first two doses an hour after a full meal, just as the package suggests. I took the other two doses on an empty stomach and it worked better.”
Mick: “I discovered that too. If I take LibidoStack on an empty stomach, the effect is more immediate.
Here’s another thing I noticed. After the second dose I started having nighttime boners, a lot of them. I would wake up from a sound sleep with a raging hardon. It was like it was in my 20’s.”
Carlos: “I had that happen to me too. At first I said, ‘whoa nelly!’ My wife was surprised as hell too. I hadn’t been feeling very randy for the last six months.”
Mick: “Yeah, my partner Chuck, noticed a difference right away too. I’m gonna guess that this stuff builds up in your system and maybe a maintenance dose is all ya ever need.
I was kidding with Chuck about those warnings you see on TV, the ones that say; ‘Warning: If you experience an erection for more than 4 hours, please seek medical assistance immediately.’ I told Chuck that if I had a boner that lasted 4 hours I wouldn’t call a doctor; I’d call a hustler!”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

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Our First Q&A Show Of The New Year— Podcast #315 — 01/09/12

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Hey sex fans, welcome back!

Holy cow, the new year is upon us and I’m all refreshed from my winter break and rarin’ to go. So it’s time to crank up the old microphone so I can bring you another Q&A show.

Say, did you know that this year marks my fifth year in podcasting? The actual anniversary isn’t for another month, but I thought I’d take this opportunity to toot my own horn, so to speak. And I foresee lots of very exciting programming coming your way in 2012.

But now I have this great show in store for you. Because it’s always a thrill to discover what my correspondents toss my way. And you can always count on me, your intrepid sexologist, to respond with clever, resourceful and oh so informative responses. Hey, it’s what I do!

This week we hear from

  • P wants to E-stim both himself and his partner at the same time.
  • Kyle wonders about tight pussies…I think.
  • Haans and his wife are blissful.
  • Chatt Mann is not sure if it’s a good thing to bust his nut in a chick’s mouth.
  • Matt is way more kinky than he’s letting on and he is letting on a lot.
  • Minou is interested in safe scrotal infusion play.
  • Joey is gettin fucked by heavy-hung black guys.
  • Christopher Ryan and I discuss the “cock factor” in straight porn.
  • Lee asks about the advisability of using E-stim with his inflatable penile implant.

 

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Review.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

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