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Reverend Muther!

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Hey sex fans!

Welcome to the latest edition of Product Review Friday.

Today we have our second of three reviews featuring the eye-popping pleasure instruments from Fucking Sculptures. This Berkeley California boutique glass studio is crafting such unique and amazing art (insertables) that we’re beside ourselves with joy.

But wait! You didn’t miss our first Fucking Sculptures review, did you? Well not to worry if you did, because you can find it and all our reviews on DrDickSexToyReviews.com. Use the search function in the header, type in “Corkscrew” and VOILÀ!

—— Breaking News! We’ve just been alerted to the fact that Fucking Sculptures has just been awarded a place in this year’s Seattle Erotic Art Festival. ——

Today Dr Dick Review Crew member, Christa is here with her thoughts.

Hooded Nun —— $120

Christa
This review is pretty reminiscent of how I got started in this gig.

I was recruited to the Dr Dick Review Crew back in October 2008 and posted my first review then following month. Back then Dr Dick had three beautiful silicone insertables that he needed reviewed and none of the other Review Crew members would touch them. Our mutual friend, Joy, suggested I step up. I couldn’t get over it. I wrote back then: “…you’re just gonna fork over three totally bitchin’, top of the line, high-grade silicone toys, like for free. And the fact that these babies skewer the whole religion thing makes ‘em even hotter.”

Ever since then I’ve been the go-to gal for all the freaky stuff that comes to us for review. Enter today’s product. Here we have the stunning Hooded Nun, a glass insertable from Fucking Sculptures. Can ya stand it? And I got it because it has the word “nun” in the name. SCORE!

hooded-nun

This thing is so fuckin’ rad. Mine is black; so black it has a metallic, silver sheen to it. But it also comes in four other colors and two other sizes. So you pretty much get to customize your nun to suit yourself. Mine is the medium size, about 12” long from head to toe, which is plenty big for me. And it’s hefty as shit. Mine weighs in at nearly 2lbs. That’s not a dildo, that’s a fucking weapon!

This is my first glass toy. It looks and feels much different from the glass toys I’m used to seeing in my local sex toy emporium. The Hooded Nun is handcrafted of soda lime glass. And because all their products are handcrafted, no tow are exactly alike. This is nothing short of fucking art.

The Hooded Nun is the ideal G-spot massager. And if you ask my sub, butt-boy BF, Alex, he’ll tell you it’s deadly in his ass and on his prostate. Alex is like this total ass whore. I’m the first girlfriend he ever let finger his hole and play with his prostate. Now it’s fuck me; fuck me; fuck me all the time! I created a monster. But now I get to lay into him with Reverend Muther ova here and he couldn’t be happier.

The Hooded Nun is banana shaped; smooth on it’s dorsal side and ribbed on its belly. Its tail is a stylized pussy-shaped handle that makes maneuvering this big thing into place effortless. It’s also fantastic for doing my kegel exercises. I like to think of it as a barbell for my PC muscles.

You can use any type of lube you choose with glass. And because of its hard and polished surface, only a few drops of lube will be needed.

And if that weren’t enough, you can chill and warm glass for superior sensation play.

Glass is nonporous and hypoallergenic so care and cleaning couldn’t be easier. Warm water and mild soap will do for general clean up. However, since Alex and I are sharing the Hooded Nun, we sanitize it after each use by wiping it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.

The Hooded Nun came wrapped in a hemmed piece of reclaimed fabric with a ribbon sewn on to it. Inside the wrap there was also a card with care and use instructions. It’s a beautiful presentation and would make a stunning gift.
Read Full Review HERE!.

Enjoy

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What’s She Been Doin’ With That Thang?

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Name: Jasper
Gender: Male
Age: 48
Location: NC
My partner and I had not had sex for 5 months until yesterday. I have a large penis and normally have to be very gentle after we have gone awhile without sex. Yesterday she was very loose and had no problem with my insertion. Is this a good sign that she has been having sex with someone else over the last 5 months??

Jasper, Jasper, Jasper! Do you honestly think that the only way a woman can exercise and stretch her pussy is with a cock? Darlin’, what you don’t know about woman and sex is a lot!

Sexual-frustrationSo I gotta ask, why aren’t you humpin’ your partner with slightly more regularity than every 5 months? Is it you? Is there something about the way you bone her that makes it ok for her to go without your member for such a long period of time?

Maybe, just maybe, she tired of waiting for you to dole out the fuck. Maybe, she needs a bit more then the miserly amount of nookie you’re willing or able to provide. Maybe she’s takin’ care of business on her own. Maybe, she’s discovered the joys of self-pleasuring. Maybe she’s got a stash of manly-sized dildos that you know noting about, and she puts them to good use on a regular basis. Maybe she’s doin’ this because you’re not takin’ care of business at home, like ya oughta.

Listen bub, in the long 5 months that you’ve gone without partnered sex, did you squeeze off a few? Did you choke the chicken? Did you wrestle with the one-eyed monster? Did you wank your willie? I’ll bet you did. And I’ll bet you did with some regularity. You may have even slipped your baloney pony in someone else’s honey pot. Ya know, when long periods of sexual drought occur in a relationship; partners tend to discover how to fend for themselves. Am I right, or am I right?

So let’s just say that your old lady is out there gettin’ plugged by some unfamiliar johnson, and a big one at that. What of it? You certainly ain’t doin’ your part to keep her parts happy and fulfilled, are you?

Maybe, just maybe, you need to make amends to your long-suffering wife and look to pleasing her more frequently, before you let your imagination run away with you. In other words, find out what she likes and how she likes it; and let her have it just that way.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

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Artistic Pleasure

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Hey sex fans!

Welcome to the latest edition of Product Review Friday.

Have you noticed that we’ve been introducing you to a bunch of swell new manufacturers lately? Well if you haven’t ya’ll need to pay closer attention, don’t cha know. Today we continue that trend. We welcome yet another remarkably innovative company to our review effort. Say hello to Fucking Sculptures. This Berkeley California boutique glass studio is crafting eye-popping pleasure instruments so unique that we can hardly contain ourselves.

You’ll be seeing more products from them in the weeks to come, but today Dr Dick Review Crew members, Joy & Dixie are here with our first review.

Corkscrew —— $120

Joy & Dixie
Dixie: “Where does the time go? It’s been over six months since out last review. But this isn’t the first time such an extended hiatus has occurred. Probably when you don’t hear from us for a while it’s because we’re out on the road. When life gets crazy, as it seems to do more frequently lately, Joy and I just hop in our RV and hit the road till we soothe our souls. You’ve heard of dykes on bikes, right? Well we’re dykes in a camper.”
Joy: “A glorified camper, mind you! We used to have this battered old pickup with a pop-top. But now we travel in style. We always meet the nicest people on the road. And on several occasions we’ve even introduced some of our sisters to the latest in sex toys. We like to think of ourselves are roving ambassadors of pleasure.”
Dixie: “We travel light, but not stupid. We always bring a toy or six with us, because, despite our destination, we never leave our libidos at home.”

corkscrew-580x290

Joy: “Even though our RV has a lot of the comforts of home, we think it’s wise to bring at least one toy that don’t involve a motor. And this is where the Corkscrew from Fucking Sculptures comes in. It is made of exquisite soda-lime glass. Honestly, I don’t know a lot about the different kinds of glass other than the fact that this hard and sleek material makes for the ideal insertable.”
Dixie: “We are very fond of glass. In fact, the Corkscrew is our fifth such dildo. At the same time, it is unlike all the others. For one thing, all our other glass insertables we have are clear or with colored swirls in them. They are stunning, of course, but the Corkscrew stands out because it is densely colored; so dense that light won’t penetrate it, except at its tail. Ours is this deep forest green. And here’s a very cool thing about all the fucking art from Fucking Sculptures; you get to choose between five colors and three sizes. That means they well like make one just for you, to your specifications. How cool is that?”
Joy: “And, because each and every one of their sculptures is handcrafted, you can be sure that the insertable you choose will be unique. No one else in the world will have one exactly like yours. That’s art! That’s fucking art! And if you treat your sculpture with the respect it deserves, like you would any fine adult toy, this beauty will last a lifetime.”
Dixie: “Glass is practical as well as stunning. There are no batteries to run down, nothing to recharge. It’s ready when you are. And just think of the bonus feature of it being perfect for sensory play. The Corkscrew can be chilled or warmed. Its hardness holds the temperature beautifully. And unless you’ve tried this kind of play, you have no idea the pleasure it can bring.”
Joy: “Glass is nonporous and hypoallergenic so care and cleaning are a snap. Warm water and mild soap will do for general clean up. However, if you plan to share your glass toy, and they should be shared, I recommend sanitizing it by wiping it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too. We even ran ours through a dishwasher cycle for no fuss, no muss cleanup.”
Dixie: “The Corkscrew we have is about 7” long with an up curled tail. It weighs in at a hefty 11.5 ounces. I think it’s the ideal toy for helping me with my kegel exercises. The entire insertable is a delicious swirl with its head being about 1.5” in diameter. The curled tail makes it easy to position for intense G-spot stimulation.”
Joy: “Oh, we should mention, for the sake of all our male friends that the Corkscrew makes a wonderful ass play toy too. Your P-spot will thank you. And you’ll never have to worry about it disappearing up your poop-chute; its tail will prevent that.”
Dixie: “You can use any type of lube you choose with glass. And because of its hard and polished surface, only a few drops of lube will be needed.”
Joy: “Remember, the Corkscrew is art, so there’s no need to hide this beauty when it’s not in use. When we’re home it sits proudly on our mantle piece.”
Read Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

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Too Big!

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Name: Jordan
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Location ?
Hi, I’m a young male aged 18, and recently have become sexually active. I revealed my penis to my girlfriend for the first time and she said that I was too big for her. I am 9in when erect, and 4.5in in girth. Is this too big and if so what procedures are there to make it smaller?
Thanks

This is so precious; I love it. You are so precise with your measurements. I suspect that you pay a lot of attention to what hangs between your legs. Am I right?Sand-Cock

While I want to believe this is a legitimate question from a clueless pup, who is swingin’ some mighty big pipe, I actually have my doubts. If old Jordan here is pulling my leg, it’s ok. It’s been pulled a lot before. On the off chance that this is on the up and up, and our boy is really concerned about the size of his unit vis-à-vis his girlfriend’s equipment, I do have some things to say about how things…even big things…can fit into relatively small places.

But before we get to that, I thought we’d do a little remedial anatomy lesson. Did you know a vulva is made up of the same tissue as your penis and scrotum? In other words your cock and balls are simply a pussy on a stick. So if you follow the logic, Jordan, you’ll find the answer to your query. Pussies come in a variety of sizes shapes, just like cocks & balls.

Ok, so we’re clear on that point, right? Excellent. Now the variation in size and shape of the external components of female genitalia, the vulva, vaginal lips, etc, are only a preview of the amazing capacities of the internal components, the thing itself. A vagina is best understood as a potential space. It is very expandable. It has to be, since whole babies come pushin’ through that space from time to time. Please tell me you’re clear on that concept!

Well-HungAgain if you follow the logic you’ll realize that, just about any adult female vagina is able to accommodate even the really big boys. However, being able to and wanting to be impaled by a giant johnson…well, that’s just a whole other issue, don’t cha know.

Second, and this is a most important point, I wholeheartedly recommend that one day real soon you have a nice long conversation with your GF about her whoha. Do this before you start pokin’ away at this mysterious entity that you clearly don’t understand. There’s a good chance that even your GF doesn’t know her way around down there, so this will be a great experience for your both. Ask her for a little tour of her fine pussy. Have her show you around. Have her point out all the really exciting points of interest…and there are plenty of ‘em. If you think your dick is talented, bub? Let me tell ya, it pales in comparison to a cunt.

Besides, this little exercise will give you a load of brownie points with your GF. You’ll also be a vastly more informed about pussies in general, which hopefully will make you a much better lover whatever comes your way in the future.

Finally, if your GF is concerned about your size it’s incumbent upon you to prove to her that you are an expert cocksmith. That you will make it your business to get her completely turned on before you attempt to administer that 9X5er. Here’s a tip: most women who complain about painful intercourse, regardless of the size of their partner’s hose, report that their offish partners don’t get them warmed up enough before commencing the fuck. No arousal means there’s no lubrication. No lubrication means there’s sure to be painful fucking ahead…even if you’ve got a puny pipe to swing. Get it?dick-tater

A word to the wise, Jordan, if a guy’s dick is hard it’s evidence that he’s aroused. If his partner isn’t lubricating big-time then she not aroused. Which tells me that the guy didn’t take care of business like he should have before he started to poke and prod with his one-eyed monster.

You want in? Better pave the way pup! And this will certainly include lots of a high-quality personal lubricant. Don’t know which one to choose? Check out my adult products review site, DrDickSexToyReviews. Look for the CATEGORY pull-down menu in the side bar; scroll down till your find the category — LUBE and presto!

Good luck

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Help! It hurts when I do this.

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Name: Dylan
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Location: Australia
Hi Dr Dick, I’ve got a painful and irritating problem that my GP wasn’t able to help with, so I’m hoping you can. After I spend time edging, or develop blueballs, I get an intense burning sensation in my urethra. It usually doesn’t happen until after I cum, then urinate, but occasionally it’ll happen while edging. If I sit on the toilet and push as though urinating, it calms down significantly, but returns when I stand up. It usually goes after about half an hour of. I had a STI check (Urethral Swab. Oww. No sounding for me thanks) and it came back all clean, and in all other respects my junk is normal. Any ideas about what’s going on, or how I can fix it? Thanks!

This reminds me of the old joke where a guy goes to see his doctor about a pain he is having. The doctor sits him down and asks him where it hurts. The guy says, “It hurts when I do this.” And he takes his hand, makes a fist and punches himself in the side of the head. The doctor nods knowingly and says, “Stop doing that, and I guarantee the pain will subside.”

give up dickListen Dylan, whatever the root cause of the burning sensation you report is — and I can honestly say you have me stumped there — I pretty much can guarantee that it will subside if you cease the edging you are doing, or at least cut way back on that.

Like I said, I’ve never encountered this particular phenomenon before, so I can’t advise you further. And if your GP couldn’t put his finger on it, so to speak, and the burning sensation only happens when you edge or practice orgasm denial, then simply stop doing that and things will get better. I promise. After all, it’s not like you can’t live without edging. If, on the other hand, you said that you had discomfort every time you had an erection, then there’d be cause for alarm. But if the owie is only associated with something self-induced, then that’s a horse of a different color. See what I mean?

And here’s a tip: if you’re doing something that is causing pain or discomfort — and that’s not your intention — then your body is sending you a message that whatever you are doing it’s too much or it’s unhealthy. I am of the mind that we all ought to listen more closely to the messages our body sends us about what it needs and what it doesn’t need.

Oh, and for those in my audience who don’t know what the fuck “edging” is, it’s a stop/start masturbation technique designed to prolong the time it takes a guy to reach his climax. An edger will begin to wank like normal, but when he gets near to cumming — he stops stroking, sometimes even squeezing his cock till the urge to shoot subsides. Once the urge to cum quiets down, he begins to stroke again. Stopping again whenever he approaches climax. He repeats this whole ‘stop and start’ cycle for as many times as he would like, so that when he finally shoots he’ll have a stronger orgasm and he’ll spew more spunk.edging

I know a lot of men who edge and they swear by it. I also know that a number of these men are doing themselves a disservice, even harm, because they are practicing an extreme version of edging. In the end, despite the stand-up nature of our dick, it is a very delicate instrument. Intense edging, especially accompanied by nasty squeezing or slapping to quell the building ejaculation can be injurious.

So maybe, Dylan, just maybe ya oughta take a break from edging for a while and see if this burning issue doesn’t resolve itself.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

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