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More Sex EDGE-U-cation with Mistress Katherine — Podcast #245 – 11/10/10


Hey sex fans,

I loves me some Mistress Katherine! And I’m not ashamed to admit it either. And from the looks of the download numbers from last week’s podcast featuring the divine Mistress, it appears you dig her big time too. So when we ran out of time last week and I asked her to come back this week to dispense even more of her signature Sex EDGE-U-cation, she was gracious enough to say yes. Lucky for me Katherine didn’t even make me beg or grovel, though, god knows, I surely would have.

But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1 of our conversation, did you? Well don’t worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in the Podcast Archive right here on my site. Look for the search function in the header, type in Podcast #243 and faster than you can say ‘Pro-Dom’ you’ll be taken to paradise! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

Katherine and I discuss:

  • The political nature of sex work;
  • Foot and leg worship;
  • CBT & NT;
  • Feminization;
  • Needle play;
  • Fantasy role-play;
  • The truisms of our sexuality;
  • Working with and playing with both women and men;
  • Providing a safe and secure place to investigate one’s sexuality.

Katherine encourages you to visit her on her personal website HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Fleshlight & FleshJack.

Clear The Deck

Hey sex fans!

It’s Friday! And that means it’s Product Review Day. We have an interesting line up for you today. We’re clearing the decks, so to speak, to make room for the load of new adult products arriving on a weekly basis. Wait till you see what we have in store for you in upcoming reviews. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, because some of today’s items are pretty amazing.

First off we have another Good Vibes Brand Ambassador review. Review Crew Member, Carlos, has a silicone butt plug to show us.

Jada is up next and she’ll introduce us to another Blush Novelties rabbit vibe.

Finally, Glenn & Hank have a couple styles of “love gloves” from Sweden, called RFSU Condoms to tell us about.

Sidekick Silicone Anal Plug —— $22.00

Carlos
Those of you who follow my reviews know that I have a prostate problem. And I’m not ashamed to admit it either. I’m also very into ass play. I have very little outlet for that with other guys, because I’m married. (Just so we’re clear, my wife knows about this; so it’s not a Tiger Woods kinda thing.) But even if I were able to connect with other bi or even gay guys more often I don’t think I’d be up for it because of my enlarged prostate. I just can’t bottom like I used to. I know, bummer, huh?

With the onset of my prostate problem a couple of years ago, I became more interested in playing with my own ass. This allows me complete control over the kind of stimulation I can tolerate at any given time. I’ve become particularly fond of butt plugs. But finding just the right one can be a challenge. I can’t have anything too hard. Can’t be too big either. It’s got to be just right. Sounds like Goldilocks, huh?

With that long-winded introduction finished, I can now introduce you to the Sidekick Silicone Anal Plug. This is the perfect butt plug for me. It is smooth and supple, which make it easy to insert and wear for hours at a time. And that’s saying something for a guy with an enlarged prostate, like me. I’m no doctor, but I believe that my condition is actually helped by wearing a butt plug for a period of time a couple times a week. It delivers a very nice prostate massage that seems to soothe things down there.
Full Review HERE

Now here’s Jada.

Wave Rabbit-Waterproof Rabbit —— $42.05

Jada
Here’s a new multi function vibe from Blush Novelties. It’s the sister to Eve’s Rabbit, which my colleague, Christa reviewed back in February.

Like the Eve vibe, the Wave Rabbit is enormous! In fact, it’s so similar; it’s startling. There is a slightly different control panel and Wave Rabbit creates a wavy motion as opposed to Eve’s Rabbit, which has beads that rotate.

It is 11 inches long and clunky as all get-out. It weighs about 1.5lbs, when loaded with the four AA batteries you need to power it. Note: the batteries are not included in the package. Wave Rabbit is more vibe then I’ve ever handled before and certainly more vibe then I need.

There are 8 wave-making functions (in the shaft) and 8 vibrating speeds (in the bunny) and they work independent of one another, which totally great. I’m partial to a rabbit vibe, because clitoral stimulation is very important to me when I’m pleasuring myself. But I found Wave Rabbit completely unwieldy. It’s such a handful that it can be exhausting. I did like that it has a simple on/off switch that avoids having to cycle through the all the speed options just to turn it off.

They claim that the handle and control panel is ergonomic; I beg to differ. While it is true that the control panel is intuitive, there’s nothing ergonomic about it. Like the Eve’s Rabbit, the Wave Rabbit also has a shaft make of a translucent jelly type of material. The package claims it’s phthalate free. But that seems too good to be true; although I have no evidence to the contrary. So let’s just trust them on that.
Full Review HERE

Next up we have Glenn & Hank with a couple styles of “love gloves”.

Profil 3-Pack —— $6.00
Mamba 3- Pack —— $6.00

Glenn & Hank
Glenn: “We consume a shit-load of condoms every year.”
Hank: “You might even say we have a little condom fetish.”
Glenn: “We always bring our own condoms to all the play parties we attend. And there are always buckets full of our favorite rubbers available at our house when we are the hosts of a party.”
Hank: “We simply can’t get behind barebacking. I know a lot of guys are doing it these days, but Glenn and I stand firm.”
Glenn: “We play with a lot of people and there’s simply no way of knowing where they’ve all been or what they’ve all been doing. So the path of the least resistance is a love glove; plain and simple!”
Hank: “When you find a good condom; one that fits and that’s comfortable; well, it’s like wearing nothing at all.Profil is one such condom. It fits me perfectly, it’s super sheer and it has a nice reservoir tip; all the things I look for in a rubber.”
Glenn: “I second that! I like the Mamba style. It’s a lot like Profil, but it’s yellow.”
Hank: “Glenn likes yellow because he’s a piss queen.”
Glenn: “That’s not the only reason I like yellow. But yeah, he’s right about me bein a big piss queen.”
Hank: “These condoms are made in Sweden; they’re silky and pre-lubed. The contour is great too. It’s snug right under my dickhead.”
Glenn: “The O!Zone people are the exclusive American importer of these superior RFSU condoms.”
Hank: “Oh, and about the vegan thing. While I never thought much about this before; it does make sense. So here’s the deal, the Vegan Action Foundation certifies that no animal products of any kind were used in the manufacturing of these condoms nor were any animals used in product testing.”
Full Review HERE

ENJOY!

Plan “B”

Name: Cade
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Location: Alabama
A couple of weeks ago you responded to an Iraq vet who was having trouble in his marriage because he couldn’t get it up due to his PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). I want to thank you for discussing that. It was helpful to me too. I’m an Iraq vet. I lost my right leg, to just above the knee and three fingers on my left hand to an IED. I think I’m doing ok with the physical rehabilitation. My prosthesis is state of the art and I’m even learning to run again. I joke that I’m the bionic man. Here’s what’s freaking me out though. I’m getting hit on by some really hot chicks, the kind I never could score with before Iraq. I come to discover they are hot for my leg stump. And I’m gettin all skeezed out by it. I’m passing up getting laid because this is fucking with my head. What gives with this shit?

Dude, you’ve stumbled upon, no pun intended, a silver lining of sorts, of being an amputee. Honestly, I’m not pulling your leg here, your good leg that is. Ok, ok really this is for real, Cade. But I think you already know that, huh?

Let’s begin with a definition. There is a fetish, or a paraphilia, if you prefer, calledamputee.jpg Acrotomophilia, or amputee love. It’s relatively rare, but there is a sizable Internet presence. You need only do a search for “amputee love” to get you started. These folks, often called devotees, are turned on by the limbless among us.

Here’s an interesting phenomenon, with the spike in seriously maimed vets returning from our numerous war zones and the media attention they’re getting these days — thanks the inadequate care some are receiving at our nation’s veteran’s hospitals — this fetish is growing by leaps and bounds.

A couple of weeks ago, I was having a beer with a bunch of gay men. We were discussing the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and the horrific images we were seeing on tv. Without missing a beat, a couple of the men in the group started talking about the number of totally hot young vets they were seeing on the news. Sure they had missing limbs, but for some in the group that made them even hotter. A couple other guys were goin on and on about how they would get off on servicing some of these returning service men. Instead of the conversation weirding out the whole group, as I thought it might, most of the guys were like getting totally into it.

I was being quizzed about the sexual issues, of course. Does an amputation affect a guy’s ability to get it up? …and things like that. I was totally blown away. Not by their questions, but by the fact that these men, who would otherwise be put off by a guy with a bad haircut; were beginning to fetishize seriously maimed vets. Then I thought to myself, OMG, I am watching the birth of some brand new baby devotees. And that, my friend, is how all fetishes begin.

I realize that you must be facing enormous hurtles, Cade, (again no pun intended) to regain your sense of self after the disfigurement and amputation. It hardly seems fair to throw yet another curve ball your way. But, as we all know, life is supremely unfair. I suspect that you’re already feeling enough like an oddity without some chick — even a sizzilin’ hot one — coming on to you because of what you’ve lost. And that’s why I suggest you withhold judgment about all of this until you have a bit more information about this particular fetish and it’s practitioners.

Many amputees go through life without ever meeting a devotee. Others have intimate experience with these fetishists. One thing for sure, even though a devotee’s interest in you may creep you out; you can be certain that their interest is sincere. They are not like most of the other well-meaning people you’ll meet in your new life as a bionic man. A devotee will not pity or patronize you. Devotees, curiously enough, see you as more whole and desirable than those who have no missing parts. In other words, devotees are hot for you for how you are. This is definitely not a “let’s pity fuck the gimp” sorta thing. I know this can be mind-bending, but I hope you can see the fundamental difference between the two.

Some amputee/devotee relationships are long-term, marriage and children included. Others are more recreational in nature. I suppose that if you have your head screwed on right, you’ll be able to discern what might be best for you, if any of this appeals to you. Actually, in this realm, you’re absolutely no different than all your non-maimed peers. They too are trying to make sense of how love, sex and intimacy fit together.

amputee00.jpgI know some amputees are put off by devotees. They’re indignant that someone would objectify them for their stumps and not accept them as a human being first. Well, ya can hardly argue with that, can ya? But in reality, all of us do our share of objectifying. What about all the guys who flock around the blond with the big rack? You know they only see her tits and not her brain. Is the amputee/devotee thing any different? I think not.

You know how you are doing all this physical therapy to regain your ability to walk and run with your new bionic leg and foot? Well, there’s probably as much emotional and psychological therapy you need to do to adapt yourself to your new maimed-self. Part of this psychological adjustment may be embracing and celebrating the fact that you are now an object of desire for a whole new group of folks.

So ok, your hotness is not the same hotness you may have had pre-Iraq, but it’s hotness none the less. You may not yet appreciate how a person could be sexually attracted to another person simply because of an amputation. Hell, the devotee may not even know why he or she is wired this way, but that don’t make it any less a fact. The confusion that can result from these desires or being the object of these desires can often sabotage a perfectly viable amputee/devotee sexual relationship.

Acrotomophilia, like all fetishes and paraphilias is learned behavior. Some devotees recall early childhood erotically charged encounters with women or men who were amputees. But just as plausible is the fetish began like the story I recounted at the beginning of my response — a group of people fantasizing about sex with a hot vet, who happens to be an amputee. You can see how just a little of that highly charged erotic reinforcement could turn anyone into a devotee. So it’s not so mysterious after all, is it?

I realize you didn’t choose this for yourself. But, for the most part, none of us is really in charge of what we eroticize, or what others eroticize about us. I know I nearly went to pieces the first time someone referred to me as a daddy. It wasn’t till I came to grips with the fact that I was no longer a young man, and that younger men might find me desirable, even at my seriously advanced age, that the whole daddy thing settled in with me.

What you do with all this information, Cade, if anything, is completely up to you. Will you embrace your new bionic gimp hotness and let it take you for a ride? Or will you resist? Either way, at least you’ll be a bit more informed about what gives with this shit.

Name: Tammy
Gender: Female
Age: 36
Location: Springfield IL
My parents were Laurel Canyon hippies of the first order, free love, drugs and all that stuff. I used to be disgusted by all the sex my parents were having with other people. I just couldn’t understand why they didn’t just want to be with one another or divorce and remarry someone else. As soon as I could, I left the west coast for the Midwest. Now all these years later my own marriage is in trouble. My husband unilaterally ended our sex life after the birth of our last child three years ago. I haven’t let myself go. I’m still very attractive and have even improved my body after the babies. But nothing I do brings him back to bed. He said that we have children now, and people with children don’t do that sort of thing!

To spite him for shutting me out, I turned to another man for sex. I just wanted to feel desirable again. I fear my affair will be found out and it will destroy my marriage. Funny thing, my parents with all their multiple sex partners remained happily married for 51 years till my father’s death two years ago. They were honest about their lives; I am not! I feel ashamed, but I am also having the best sex of my life and I won’t give it up.

My husband is a decent man and a good father. How can I continue to live this lie? If I come clean it will likely break up my family and I’ll look like a cheating slut. Is there any other option? I wish I would have been more accepting of my parent’s lifestyle; maybe the karma wouldn’t be so rough now.

Ahhh, bad luck doll! That karma thing can sure enough be a bitch. And it’ll bite you in the ass sure as shootin’.

If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard this same story from a frustrated and desperate man or woman trapped in a sexless marriage, I’d have enough money to lay down my keyboard, give up my status as the most fabulous and revered sexpert in the universe and retire to Maui.

Unfortunately, by the time I hear from most of these people they have already suffered through years of abstinence, all the while begging and pleading for the sex they want, need and deserve. By the time they write to me it’s often way too late. The die is cast. They’re married with kids and often have a stray affair workin’ on the side. As you suggest, Tammy, it’s a pretty unbearable situation.finfidelity01.jpg

My first thoughts are that by the time things get to the point of sheer desperation, a happy ending is virtually impossible. A lot of people are gonna get hurt regardless of how this resolves it self. If that’s a given, mabe you should be asking yourself; what can be salvaged from the impending wreck?

Tammy, you write something very telling in your message to me. When talking about your parents you say; “They were honest about their lives; I am not!” In the end, if you can reclaim your integrity, regardless if it means the demise of your marriage and family as you currently know it, you will have regained something of inestimable value.

I also want to address your comment: “If I come clean it will likely break up my family and I’ll look like a cheating slut.” Perhaps, but at least you’ll no longer be a lyin’ cheatin’ slut. Come on, how could what others think of you trump what you already think of yourself. You are down on yourself because you expect sex in your marriage. And when that disappeared, you didn’t shut down as a sexual being. Does that alone make you so bad, a slut even?

I wholeheartedly believe that married people deserve a rich and fulfilling sex life, unless there’s mutual agreement for another arrangement. Unilaterally depriving a spouse of a rich and fulfilling sex life is an act of sexual violence. The kind of sexual violence that will cause frustration, anger and desperation. And inevitably lead to infidelity, which in turn destroys the marriage and traumatizes the kids. So Tammy, if kiss008.jpgyou are a cheating slut, what does that make your husband? Neither you or your old man is without blame. So time to buck up, darlin’, and do the right thing. Regardless of how the chips fall.

And one more thing, you say you were disgusted by your parent’s hippy, free love lifestyle — at least they were open an up-front with you about who they were. Consider the trauma your kids will experience when they learn dear old mom was bumping someone other than dear old dad. What kind of example are you setting for them? You see where the honesty thing is a good idea right from the get go, huh?

Ok, so I think there’s a consensus that the truth must be told. I suggest that you generously offer your husband the first right of refusal. He may not deserve it, but that’s the way to go nonetheless. Offer to stay with him and raise your kids together, but not in a sexless marriage. If he can’t bring himself to bone you the way you need it, when you need it, with vigor and passion; then he needs to free you up to find that bone in someone else’s drawers. And if he can’t live the cuckold life he ought at least to be man enough to leave the marriage with as little stink as possible.

Name: Jack (not my real name)
Gender: Male
Age: 40
Location: Boston
I have a bunch of little bumps on my penis near the tip. Each one is kind of lumpy. They don’t really bother me. I’ve had them for a while, but now there seems to be more of them. Should I be concerned?

Yes, jack…not your real name, there is reason to be concerned.

Listen up everyone, whenever there’s a change in the look, feel or sensations in your genital area there is cause to have a medical professional look at the disturbance immediately. If you’re like jack…not his real name, you could have an infection that could be transmitted to your sex partners. It’s one thing to foolishly disregard your own health and wellbeing; it’s quite another thing all together to risk the health and wellbeing of an unsuspecting sex partner.

sexual_health.jpg

Sounds to me, jack…not your real name, that you have genital warts. They’re relatively easy to detect; small lumps that typically have an irregular cauliflower-like surface. Sound familiar? I thought so.

If you’ve been dippin’ your warty wick in some pussy, mouth or asshole, you’ve likely passed on the infection…thank you very much. And if it’s been pussy you’ve been messin’ with the lucky lady (or ladies) may now have warts inside their cunt.

Genital warts are pretty benign, but they’re mighty unsightly. Some people experience irritation and itching around the affected area. Women can get warts on the vulva and perineum but they can also appear on the vagina, cervix, and asshole. Men get warts most often on their dickhead and foreskin, but they may also appear on the shaft of your cock, scrotum, and asshole. And anyone can get them in their mouth.

A carrier of the virus doesn’t even have to have a visible outbreak for the infection to be transmitted. Probably, that’s how you got infected yourself; jack…not your real name.

Genital warts can be a bitch to get rid of, because, like all warts, these little devils have a tendency to reappear. Treatments may include: Liquid nitrogen to freeze small warts or another topical solution to treat warts inside the urethra, anus, mouth and/or the vagina.

Do us all a favor; jack…not your real name, consult your doctor ASAP.

Good luck, ya’ll

A Helping Hand, or Two

Do you ever just need a hand getting a grip on a hard throbbing problem? Well never fear, sex fans, Dr Dick is here to lend a hand…or two to all you sexually worrisome out there.

Name: Jose
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Location: Norwalk, CT
how can i approuch a good stripper to get into sex? even tho they just stripper some make rule but if stripper off work, would some of them willing to do it?

I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess that English is not your first language, right Jose? I think I understand what you are asking. Let’s just hope that the women you approach will also understand you meaning.

So OK, you know this fine stripper and you want to have sex with her, right? Alrighty then! First thing you oughta know is that not all strippers are hookers. Some simply strip because they make good money. And don’t sell sex, well because they don’t have to. The ones that do sell sex, don’t do so where they strip. It’s bad for business and, I also hasten to point out, it’s against the law.

live-girls.jpg
There are two good ways to go about this hunt for stripper sex. First, you could ask the vixen out on a real date. I think this is the best way of going about gettin laid by any woman. If this particular woman is available for a sexual liaison, and you’re not a totally creepy dick-head, she might take you up on the offer. Just remember, some stripping establishments prohibit their strippers from fucking with customers. If that’s the policy at the joint you frequent, let it go. Don’t pester the woman for something that will jeopardize her job. If she does accept the date, and all goes well, and you charm the pants off her, you might just get a little bump and tickle. I hope we’re clear on the concept that if any woman, especially a sex worker, accepts a dinner invitation it is not the same thing as saying she’ll fuck you, right? GOOD!

The second option is to ask the stripper if she does escort work on the side. Again, some stripping establishments prohibit their strippers from fraternizing with customers in any way, shape or form, especially fucking them. You ought to know that if the woman in question is indeed an escort as well as a stripper, your “date” with her is gonna cost ya, don’t ‘cha know. These women are professionals; you’d do well to treat them with the respect you’d offer any professional woman.

Never, under any circumstance, offer to pay this woman…or any woman…for sex. That would be inviting prostitution, and that’s against the law — except if you’re in Nevada. If the woman in question is an escort, she will be exchanging her time and expertise for money; not sex for money. Get it? If she’s smart she won’t give you a second chance to get this right if you fuck up asking her the first time.

My advice to you is, figure out ahead of time which way you want to go — date or escort. Then approach her like a gentleman. If she’s not interested, respect her decision to decline your offer with some grace and dignity.

Good luck

Name: john
Gender:
Age: 22
Location: california
my penis when erect is slightly bent to left what should i do? will there be any problem while having sex?

You haven’t seen a lot of stiffies on other guys, have you John? Most straight guys are unaware of how their cock compares to other dude’s. If a guy, like you, doesn’t have a frame of reference, so to speak, he may even think his unit is abnormal. The fact is many men have curved cocks. Some curve to the left, and others to the right. Some curve up, some curve down.

wet.jpg
You’re clear on the concept of what creates wood, right? An erection occurs when two tubular structures that run the length of the penis, the corpora cavernosa, become engorged with blood. Imagine your cock is a baloon with two separate inflatable tubes on either side. If you put more air pressure on one side of the balloon than the other, the baloon will curve. Simple as all that! Many guys believe that a bent cock is caused by wearing tight briefs instead of boxers or that it’s caused by circumcision. These are myths. However, excessive, rough or heavy-handed masturbation during one’s youth can promote a curvature later in life. That’s why I always promote handling one’s pecker with care.

Since you say your dick curves only slightly to the left, I’m pretty sure this natural variation won’t be a problem in partnered sex.

Good luck

Name: Bryan
Gender:
Age: 25
Location: Melbourne, Australia
I live about 45 mins outside the city and have always had a weight problem. I found that the easiest way for me to get off (or the only option for a long time) was to meet guys at beats or online. These were never really guys that I found attractive, and ones that I felt that I was simply resorting to to fulfil my needs. I also found myself taking a submissive role rather than my preferred top, just in order to get sex. Now that I am older, I am able to meet guys that I actually like, however I find that it takes forever for me to come. I like being active but I can never come just from sex, and even when I get head jobs, I cant come just from head jobs, I end up needing to jerk myself off and it takes a very very long time. I cant help but be cerebral and need to think for a long time to create a scene, something that I needed to do when I didnt find the guys attractive, but I cant stop this now when I actually do like them. Also, I cant come unless I am lying on my back and jerking off. Which is difficult as I like being dominant and active. A part of me thinks that it’s because I jerk off too much, or because I have needed to play the submissive role for so long. I have spoken to friends and the idea that because I dont find feminine guys attractive and the very role of having anal sex psychologically associates the other guy as taking a feminine role within my head and thus a turn off has been suggested. Whereas some friends have said that maybe I just dont feel that I deserve to be able to take that active role because of my attachments to past sexual experiences in my earlier youth. Im studying some psychology at university and am trying to make sense of it all but I just cant, and I am tired of apologising to guys when they cant make me cumm from blow jobs or sex, and that I have to do it myself and they are detached to the role of a lesser important role of oral contact in another manner just so that they are involved in someway in the process. I just want to be able to come while having sex or having a blow job and not lying on my back, and not taking forever and a day. I do like these guys that I am seeing now, and this issue I feel has always put pressure on my sexual relationships.

I caution you to not read too much into your inability to cum through oral sex, or than in any other position than on your back. No need to psychoanalyze yourself or look too deeply into your sexual past to find the root of this problem. While you mindset and your past behaviors may impact on your current performance, you should know that lots of men, with very different sexual histories than yours, have a similar inability to cum in any other way than on their back and with their own hand.sin_20nombre.jpg

If this is so disturbing for you, you can learn different behaviors that may, in time, allow you to cum in the position and by an activity that you prefer — like standing up for a blow job. But I suggest that you’ll never accomplish this if you think you are defective, or that some deep psychological trauma is the root of your dissatisfaction.

Why not just chalk your concerns up to a natural variation on male sexual response cycle. Expanding one’s sexual repertoire is best accomplished with some patience and a whole lot of practice. Being ashamed of yourself or belittling yourself for what you perceive as an inadequacy will completely sabotage any effort you might make to change your sexual patterns.

Good luck

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