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The Art Of The Humble Hand Job

Name: Jenna
Gender: Female
Age: 27
Location: Arlington, VA
Dr Dick my husband of 4 years has an exceptionally large penis. He likes nothing better than for me to rub him to climax. We have intercourse and we do oral on each other and he likes that just fine. He just prefers to watch me use my hands on him. Do you think that’s odd?

There ain’t nothin’ wrong with your hubby, Jenna, he just loves himself a good old-fashioned hand job. Here’ the deal with a lot of us folks who own our own cock. We first become acquainted with the pleasure our willie can offer through handling ourselves. And when it comes right down to it, there is rarely a mouth, pussy or ass that can compete with the variety of stroke and firmness of grip that a hand can provide. Simply stated, the humble hand job is the ideal way to pleasure your man. Just remember, even though jerkin your guy off isn’t particularly exotic, as far as sex acts go, it never has to be boring for you or him.

handjobI am of the mind that a brilliant wank begins with a first class lube. Many guys swear by silicone-based lubes for this purpose, but a hand job connoisseur like your hubby will probably have his very own favorite. Start off with just enough lube to make things slick, you don’t want to over do it. Get a feel for his johnson and what you have to work with. Skillfully draw back the skin of his rod toward the root of his dick till it is taut. This is much easier to do on uncut men, but even cut men will have some skin left for move. While you’re doing this feel free to uooh and ahhh a lot. Your man will get off on you admiring his unit.

This is a perfect time to marvel at the work of art before you. For, as we all know, a hard man is good to find. You say, Jenna, that you man is hung big…lucky you. Can you wrap your fingers around the base of his unit and get a good grip there? If not, you’ll want to consider a cockring for this purpose. If you don’t know what a cockring is or how to put one on, you can find my cockring tutorial, Cockring Crash Course on my product review site, DrDickSexToyReviews.com.  In fact, if you use a cockring, you’ll free up both your hands for what’s to come.

Now that you got yourself a really nice boner goin’, get between his legs. Take his cock between the palms of your hands, interlock your fingers and guide your hands up and down his shaft. Your thumbs should be on the underside of his dick, so that on each stroke up and down, you hit his frenulum with the pads of your thumb. Now with his cock still between your palms, rub your hands together, like if you were warming them. This will provide a great new sensation for your guy.

Hold his cock in one hand and with the well-lubed palm of your other hand, slowly move it in nice lazy circles all over his dickhead. This is a particularly delicate procedure, especially if your man is uncut. His dickhead will be super sensitive, now that he is fully aroused. And don’t forget, if you are using a cockring, his pecker will be even more engorged than usual, making it hypersensitive. Be sure to ask for hand in pantsfeedback on this move. If he finds this too uncomfortable, move on to something more pleasurable. Here’s a tip: us men being who we are will, no doubt, already be giving you directions on what to do and how to do it down there. So all you have to do is follow his lead. Remember, he knows his way around his joint better than anyone.

Don’t forget to service his nuts. Since a guy’s jewels are less sensitive to touch than his dickhead, you can manhandle them a lot more. Squeeze and tug and even gently slap those babies to your heart’s delight. While you are doing that, and with his dick flat against his belly, shimmy the heel of your hand up and down the underside of his cock. You see how you are incorporating different sensations and movements all at the same time? Keep this up and your man will be putty in your hands, no pun intended.

Interlace your fingers and make a tight passageway through the palms of your hands. Pump up and down his shaft this way. As you get to the top of his cock close the passageway even tighter. Then make him squeeze his way in as you slide back down to the bottom. Then with one hand rapidly following the other in only a downward stroke, make like a perpetual penetration tunnel. This will make his eyes roll back in his head in ecstasy.

This might be a good time to incorporate other parts of your body besides your hands. Most men get off on a titty –fuck. Cozy his cock between your boobs and have him hump away. You can also use your feet in the same fashion. Guys can really get off fuckin’ a chick’s feet.

hand-job-13Now, back to the hand job. Rhythmically stroke only his rod. Watch as his dickhead swells and turns red or even purple. Once it’s bright red, use your fingertips on the tip of his dick like you are turning a doorknob, first to the right, then to the left. Lightly at first, but slowly increase the pressure till he begs you to stop. Now you got him right where you want him.

Here’s where things can get really interesting. When he’s least expecting it, move one of your hands down past his nuts and taint. You know what a taint is, don’t cha? That’s the patch of skin between his balls and his asshole. It got its name from taint ass and taint balls, ya get it? Anyhow, once past his taint you’ll find his rosebud. With a well-lubed finger massage his pucker. If this is virgin territory for you and the hubby, he’s in for the thrill of his life. Continue to stroke both his cock and asshole. Don’t be afraid to try and push your fingertip past his sphincter. If he lets you inside, you will have access to his prostate. But even if he doesn’t, massaging the outside of his hole will bring him very close to an explosive conclusion.

If you’re ready to finish him off, so to speak, pick up the pace of your stroke. He will be breathing heavily now and he’ll look down over his chest at the miracle happening between his legs. Tell him to throw his legs in the air and spread them as far apart as possible. This will add considerably to the muscle tension that you’ve already built up. And a thunderous orgasm is all about muscle tension.jizz6

Now bring this puppy home. Lick his balls, finger his hole and beat his meat like it owes you money. Insist that he keeps his feet in he air and his legs splayed. Momentarily, he will begin to quake with building mini-orgasms. He will no doubt try to buck himself to conclusion, but don’t let him. For the moment you’re in charge down here, not him. Tease him one last time as he nears ejaculation. When he’s almost there, suddenly stop what you’re doing. This will, of course, drive him crazy. And don’t resume your stroking till he begs for it.

It will probably only take a few more strokes before he gives up the spunk. Keep your face, or at least your eyes, out of the way, because when he finally blows it will be explosive. If you’ve toyed with him for any length of time, you will have built up quite a load and it will shoot in spurts till he is empty.

His cock will be hypersensitive after he cums, so be gentle.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Backdoor Basics at Wild At Heart

Hey sex fans!

Particularly those of you who are living in and around the Emerald City. I have some swell news for ya’ll. I’m scheduled to present one of my most popular workshops at Seattle’s very own woman owned sex emporium, Wild At Heart.

The title of the Workshop is
Backdoor Basics

Sunday, December 16, 2012 7:00 PM

Ticket information HERE!

Learn the ins and outs of anal pleasure in this introductory class to backdoor fun. Anal play is a source of curiosity for many, but often surrounded by fear that it’s gonna be painful, or worse- messy. This class will help answer those questions and put those fears to rest.

We’ll cover a wide variety of topics, including:

  • Anal anatomy
  • Preparation and hygiene
  • Lubes, toys, and safer sex
  • Beginner booty play
  • All-important warm-up techniques
  • Anal sex myths and misconceptions
  • Sex Toy giveaways
  • and so much more!

We all have one, lets relax and enjoy it!

This workshop is open to all regardless of gender, orientation, or relationship status.

Workshop attendees also get a 15% discount on any store merchandise while they’re at the workshop.

This workshop is based on my wildly popular tutorials — Liberating The B.O.B. Within and Finessing That Ass Fuck.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Starting Over

Name: LD
Gender: Male
Age: 38
Location: Atlanta
How do you jump back into the game when your partner passed away suddenly? Getting really horny but its still awkward to actually do it.

Good question, LD. You say you’re feeling awkward. Why exactly? Is it because you’re out of practice with the whole dating thing? Are you concerned that people might think you’re jumping the gun, trying to get back into the game before your partner is cold in the grave? People can be pretty heartless about this. Or, is your awkwardness associated with your grief?

Grief has a profound effect on every aspect of our lives. Yet there is hardly any literature on the effects grief has on our sexuality. To my mind, grief is the leading causes of sexual dysfunction for those who have experienced the death of a partner.

Allow me a bit of time here for one of my pet spiels. Healing and helping professionals often misdiagnose grief. I want to make one thing clear, grief is not depression. Treating grief with an antidepressant is counterproductive. It can actually take away the impetus to resolve the grief and get on the rest of one’s life.

Making sure that you have processed your grief may eliminate some of your awkwardness you are currently experiencing. This is something I’m pretty familiar with. A good portion of my private practice is with sick, elder and dying people and their friends and family who survive them. I know the impact a terminal illness and dying process can have on the surviving spouse or partner. We often go into survival mode, shutting down so much of ourselves in an effort to have the strength to cope with this life-altering experience. Of course, trying to kick-start our life afterwards is often a monumental effort. Without the support and guidance of a professional or a group of similarly challenged people, some of us just sink to the lowest common denominator.

I believe in the resilience of the human spirit. I believe that we can honor our dead and continue to live and love. It sounds to me like you have a desire to get on with your life, LD, to fill the void, to make new connections, but you simply don’t know how. Acknowledging that fact is a real good place to begin.

Perhaps you could start by reawakening your sexuality through self-pleasuring. Reconnect with your body and the joy it can bring you. Reestablishing a social life will no doubt follow, slowly at first. But the inevitable tug of the need for human-to-human contact will draw you, if you let it. Remember the best testament to those who have died is to continue to celebrate life itself.

Allow me to draw your attention to my latest book, The Amateur’s Guide To Death And Dying; Enhancing The End Of Life. Actually it’s more of a workbook then a text and while its primarily target are those currently facing their mortality it’s not exclusively for them. Concerned family and friends, healing and helping professionals, lawyers, clergy, teachers, students, and those grieving a death will all benefit from participating in the interactive environment the book provides.

Of special interest to you will be Chapter 6, Don’t Stop. My good friend and colleague, Dr Cheryl Cohen Greene, joins me in presenting this chapter on sex and intimacy concerns. Like I said above, there is a dearth of information about this timely topic for sick, elder and dying people as well as those who are grieving. So I am delighted that my book helps break this deafening silence.

I hope you take the time to write back, LD. I’d very much like to keep tabs on how you are doing.

Good luck

Peg O My Heart

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday and this week Dr Dick Review Crew member, Christa tells us about how she buggered her BF, Alex, senseless thanks to a great product that comes to us from a company new to our review effort. Join us in welcoming Spare Parts Hardware . What a brilliant name!

Joque Harness by SpareParts —— $99.95

Christa
Those of you who follow my reviews know that my, butt-boy BF, Alex, is like this total ass whore. I was the first girlfriend he ever had that played with his prostate. Now it’s fuck me, fuck me, fuck me all the time.

Don’t get me wrong; I love the whole idea of pegging him senseless. I love everything about it. I love the role reversal, I love the domination and I love that I can make him squeal like a little piglet. In return for all this pleasuring, he waits on me hand and foot…especially the foot part. But that’s another story.

Sometimes I can satisfy Alex with a butt plug. This keeps him filled up and occupied till I find the time or the inclination to reward him with an ass fuck. In the past, I was less inclined to strap one on, because struggling with a poorly designed strap on was such a hassle.

Lucky for me…and Alex, I now am the proud owner of a Joque Harness. It’s changed everything. The Joque is by far the best and most comfortable strap on I’ve ever tried.

The Joque combines soft materials, easily adjustable straps, and a unique o-ring design to make the ultimate harness. If you are blessed with a partner who loves to bottom as much as Alex, you’re gonna want to invest in a Joque immediately. It’s that good.

Let me take you on a little tour of this marvel. First off there’s the material this jock- style harness is made of. The straps are made of a very soft cloth material, which uses a combination of velcro and elastic to securely fit itself to you. The front panel of the harness is made from a very soft bathing suit-like material. And once I fit the main straps on the waistband I never had to “re-fit” them again.

The Joque comes with two smaller tension straps that you tighten or release to make fine adjustments to the fit. This system fuckin’ rocks! A simple flick of the plastic buckle you can let out the slack till it’s just perfect. All these thoughtful design elements makes for and easy on, easy off. So now anally pleasuring Alex is as easy as slipping on a underwear.

And since the Joque is basically a clothing item, you simply toss it into the washing machine, when you’re done. So it’s always hygienic and sanitary. No more trying to keep a leather harness clean. There’s even a satin storage pouch included in the package.

The Joque has two leg straps. They are very comfortable and adjust as easily as the waistband. I really prefer this design to the more traditional G-string design.

Now let’s talk about the pouch, which is where all the action happens. The Joque has an elastic O-ring on the front that is designed to accommodate various sized dildos and vibrators. The ring is lined with the same swimsuit material as the pouch itself. Simply push the dildo through the O-ring. I didn’t have any problems till I tried to fit an unusually large dong through the O-ring. Then there was a struggle. The O-ring isn’t designed to accommodate the big boys.

There are even two internal pockets above and below the O-ring to accommodate mini bullet vibes for added sensations (bullet vibes not included in the package).

I have to keep coming back to how comfortable the Joque is. And it really holds up to vigorous play and Alex dearly loves his ass punished. This is also the only strap on I’ve ever seen that accommodates a double-headed dong, or strapless strap on like the SHARE . Ya see, the pouch design allows you to slide the double-header dildo all the way through the harness. When you’re not using that particular feature you keep the flap closed to protect yourself from having the base of a regular dong rub directly on your pussy.

Let’s recap, shall we? The Joque is super-comfortable, and totally stylish too. It even comes in a bunch of colors. It gets my highest recommendation.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

Sex Therapy—What Is It and Who Needs It? – Part 2

(Look for Part 1 of this series HERE!)

Of course, there are plenty of individuals—and couples—who haven’t waited until the last minute to seek help. These people want to be proactive about their concerns. Some people simply need some clear, unambiguous information about human sexuality. A surprising number of people are trying to piece together their sexual lives, but are hampered by misconceptions and misinformation.

Sometimes a momentous event motivates a person to address arising sexual or intimacy issues. The birth of a child, a disease process, a death in the family, or an accident can fundamentally alter the power dynamic of a relationship, which will require a rethinking of the entire relationship.

Or perhaps someone comes to a new realization about him or herself: Perhaps they are finally able to acknowledge their bisexuality, or that he’s gay, or she’s a lesbian. Maybe they are finally able to acknowledge a fetish—he’s a crossdresser, or she’s into another kink. Things like this obviously impact the individual, but if that person is in a relationship, the relationship is also affected. People in these self-revelatory situations are often unsure how to talk about their discoveries with a partner, which is another reason they seek counseling.

Some couples don’t fret when the sex vanishes from the relationship; other couples are devastated. What does one do when one partner still has sexual needs, but the other doesn’t? Often, there are unexplored options that can hold the relationship together, but will address the disparity in sexual interest and desire.

In this case, I can help the couple make compromises without losing their moral compass. Some couples navigate this with ease; others not so much. It can be extremely challenging, but there are ways to preserve what’s sacred about a primary relationship, while contemplating opening the relationship to include others. I can help a couple establish guidelines and ground rules for making the necessary adjustments.

Sometimes the relationship is really wonderful and fun. The couple really loves each other, but they’ve noticed their sex life together is pretty boring and stale. I’m often approached to simply help a couple spice things up. In this instance, my work is sheer joy. Mostly, I just give them permission to experiment and have fun.

You’ve probably noticed that a good portion of the work that I do as a sex therapist is merely giving permission. That may not sound like therapy at all, but when you consider that our sex-negative culture is so full of prohibitions; permission giving is often the front line of sexual rehabilitation. Most of the permissions I give are for an individual to educate him or herself about his or her body and his or her sexual response cycle. Personal exploration, such as masturbation, is the very best means to that education. I’m a huge proponent of partners masturbating together.

Happily, our need to reacquaint and reeducate ourselves about our bodies and our sexual response cycle is a life-long process. There is always something new to explore. As we age, our bodies change, and if we don’t keep up with those changes, we can become frustrated and disoriented. Older people, menopausal women and andropausal men, take longer to build up “a head of sexual steam,” so to speak. If they’re not attuned to the changes they’re going through, they can easily miss the important cues their body is sending to slow down and enjoy the sensuality.

Of course, I could go on and on, but now I want to leave you with what is the distillation of years my thinking about the role sexuality plays in our life:

I believe that sex is like food. We can enjoy it alone, or with others. We can be abstemious, or gluttonous. We can nosh or nibble; dine or devour. And we can be certain there will be both times of feast and famine.

Sex is like food. It can nourish and sustain us, or it can make us sick. We can consume all the available bounty, or restrict our diet. It can completely satisfy, or leave us devastatingly empty. We can employ it to express our highest aspirations, or allow it to rob us of our soul. We can give it as a gift, or use it as a weapon. It can be both bacchanal and sacrament.

One thing is for sure, whether purely physical or transcendentally spiritual, no one can live without food…or sex.

Got a Sex Question?
You’ve come to the right place.
Contact me here: questions@drdicksexadvice.com

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Give Dr Dick a call.
(866) 422-5680
Toll Free — Voicemail — HOTLINE

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