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SATISFIED!

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We’ve got some goodies for ya, sex fans, two blissful massagers from the UK.  Emotional Bliss is a new company with exceptional credentials.  Their approach to product development is simple; maximize pleasure.  And in the process they’ve come up with revolutionary designs, which has form following function.

These products are specifically designed with a woman’s body in mind.  However, that doesn’t mean that a man can’t enjoy them, on the contrary.  But let’s let Jada of the Dr Dick Review Crew take over from here.

Femblossom $99.95

Jada

Form does indeed follow function in the two vibes I have before me.  (Each will have its own posting)  First up is Femblossom.

I had to giggle at the name.  Femblossom, what kind of name is Femblossom?  Perhaps it’s a British term, I don’t femblossom1know.  All I can say for sure is, I immediately rechristened it SATISFY.  And you want to know why?  Because, in my book, name should also follow function.

Femblossom is unique, no question about it.  It is a hand-held massager, but it’s unlike anything else I’ve ever seen.   It is constructed of a hard plastic with non-slip surfaces on the control pad and on its underside.  I really liked the non-slip feature on the control pad.  The same on the underside of the vibe, however, made gliding it along delicate skin difficult without the use of lube.  Luckily, the package included samples of water-based lube and silicon-based lube.  Both can be used on this toy.  By the way, that’s a very thoughtful addition, Emotional Bliss; thank you and good marketing!

The stylized shell shape of this vibe is a perfect fit to lie astride my vaginal mound.  The pointed tip easily slips between my vaginal lips to nuzzle my clit.  The vibe is powerful enough to create intense stimulation throughout my whole pelvic area.  I hate a wimpy vibe!

I discovered that if I prop myself up against some pillows, place Femblossom on my vulva, and close my thighs on the vibe, I’m able to send amazing sensations all over my genitals.  The harder I squeeze my thighs together the more intense the sensations.  I can even do kegel exercises this way.  And what could be  better for sexual health and wellbeing?  I found that I don’t really need to use my hands at all, except to reposition the vibe from time to time. It’s brilliant!

The Femblossom also warms up with use; not so much so that you’ll feel uncomfortable or have a sense that the unit is over heating.  I was trying to concentrate on the warming sensation, but I couldn’t really discern if the warmth of the Femblossom was due to the heating element or my own body temperature.  What can I say; I’m hot blooded!  But then again, I wasn’t using the vibe on high speed.

After using Femblossom on my own several times and liking it a whole lot, I thought it would be nice to introduce it to partner play.  My husband took to it right away.  He’s not one for vibes that look like a penis.  I don’t suppose I can fault him for that.  And, I’m not one of those gals that get off on vibe penetration.  That’s why we like the Femblossom so much.

My husband liked how the massager fit in his hand.  The controls are very easy to manipulate, even with lubed up femblossom2fingers.  Femblossom has nine distinct massage modes.  I think that’s the greatest variety of pulsation I’ve ever seen in a vibe.

During our play together, my husband also used the vibe on himself.  He placed the Femblossom tip on his perineum and cupped his testicles in the shell form.  The handle reached up and touched the root of his penis.  He was surprised by the intensity of the sensations and he really liked the warming sensations. He was running it on high speed.  This thing has a very powerful motor.  And the hard plastic material seems to conduct the vibrations more effectively than do my silicone vibes.

Full Review HERE!

No Song Unsung, No Wine Untasted

Hey sex fans,

Listen up!

I’m adding a new feature to my Q&A columns.  Whenever possible, I will include in my response a link to a movie in my HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY (see the VOD tab at the top of the page) that will further educate or enrich the person who is asking the question.

Think of it as at HOMEWORK or further study on the topic at hand.  I hope all of you will benefit from this terrific instructional and enriching resource.


Name: Bob
Gender:
Age: 48
Location: Long Island, N.Y.
Almost 20 yrs. ago I had a transexual encounter. It was different but wonderful. Now I find myself wanting to explore this experience again. I’m now married with kids and I know it’s cheating but it won’t leave my thoughts. I don’t know what to think. I love being with a woman but this hunger won’t go away and I ‘m not entirely sure if I want it to. I don’t know if this means I’m gay, bi, or what. Please, please, if you’ve any advice your help and thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Hey Bob, the question of weather this craving makes you are gay, bi or what is the least of your issues, darlin’.  You got this jones about chicks with dicks and it won’t go away because you don’t want it to go away.  It’s a hunger that you feed by starving it. And I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess that you will, in pretty short order, go out and get you some of this exotic monkey love, just like before you were married.  And I also predict that you will make it a habit, risks to your comfortable life and cheating on you wife not withstanding.

Here’s the thing about sexual obsessions of any stripe.  The more you starve them the more the hunger consumes you.  So rather than treat the desire head on, perhaps you need to address the underlying issues that give rise to it.  I’d be willing to speculate that your life has become so predictable, mundane and lethargic that you long to be startled a114542_xlfawake from this slumber.  You entertain these juicy revelries as a way of keeping yourself from completely succumbing to the boredom.  Am I right, Bob?  I think I am.

You see, the real issue here is not your cravings for a walk on the wild side; it’s the boredom at your core.  Desperate men do desperate things.  And bored men do foolish things.  So I suppose you need to ask yourself, to what lengths are you willing to go to satisfy this craving?  And once you answer that, the more important question remains to be answered.  How many times will you have to satisfy your craving to balance out the monotony in the rest of your life?

You see, how this has virtually nothing to do with your sexual orientation, gay, bi or whatever; it has to do with your lifestyle.

Perhaps, indulging your sexual fantasy in the relatively harmless form of some video consumption might assuage your obsession.  It sure beats skippin’ out on your wife and family to satisfy your jones.

Name: Fran
Gender:  Female
Age: 33
Location: South Africa
I have a new lover, 10 years my junior.  We meet at a play party about three weeks ago.  He is very adventuresome and totally submissive.  He told me he wants me to shave him from head to toe and he wants me to do this while he is restrained and gagged.  I’m confident about my bondage skills, but I’ve never saved anyone.  Do you have any tips?

Some gals have all the luck!  You gots yourself a submissive pup; good for you!  Just think, this shaving scene could be a real Samson and Delilah kinda set up, and hopefully one of biblical proportions.  HOT!

The overall body shave can be a bit tricky, especially for those sensitive areas of the body not used to being shaved.  You can pretty much count on some nicks and cuts and there will be a fair amount of post-shave skin irritation too.  It’s just par for the course.  Ya’ll can minimize a lot of this by attending to some fundamentals before the event begins.

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Most us men have discovered that shaving our face later in the day, or better…at night makes shaving easier.  The same is true for fetish shaving.  Nighttime is the best time!  Work in a clean, well-lit place.  The darkened dungeon is good choice for after-shave play, but you’ll need lots of light for the shave itself. You also need ready access to lots of clean hot water.  So why not strap the boy to the bathroom sink, shower head, or better yet the kitchen table.

If the pup resembles the missing link, you’ll want to start the whole business by trimming his body hair as close to the skin as possible before you employ the razor. I suggest using a high quality barber shears for this.

Choose your razors carefully. Unless you are a real connoisseur and know how to wield a straight razor, stick with safety razors.  Since you’re gonna be doing his whole body, be sure to stock up on a shit-load of the quality plastic disposable kind.  You will find that the blades dull really fast when they are shaving course body hair.  Dull razors, as everyone knows, will nick and scrape more than a sharp razor.  You’ll want to minimize the number of times you pull the razor across any given patch of skin so as to minimize razor burn.

Cover the area you are about to shave with a hot, wet towel. It’ll soften the hair and makes it easier to remove.  Use lots of shaving gel.  Gel is better than shaving cream for sensitive skin.  Always shave with the growth of the hair, not against.  Be sure to have a styptic pencil or gel handy to stop bleeding when you nick the little monkey.  And depending on how fastidious you are; keep a pair tweezers handy for yanking out the stray hairs you and your razor miss.  This will give your sub something to remember!

No matter how careful you are, there will always be microscopic nicks and cuts afterwards. Left untreated, this can leave the skin open to a nasty infection. To prevent this, apply a liberal amount of an astringent, like which hazel.  Hydrogen peroxide is and excellent and inexpensive alternative.

Ya know those nasty little red bumps that are caused by ingrown hairs?  You can cut down on these little buggers by buffing the freshly shaved area with a cosmetic buff pad.  Finally, a liberal application of a moisturizer is recommended to cut down on the itching that will inevitably follow.  If the sub has never done this before, he will soon find out that he will be plagued by itching as his hair starts to grow in.  Too bad for him, huh?

As you can see, this is gonna be a whole lot of work for you.  And there’s gonna be a lot of clean up too.  Lucky for you, you’ll have a freshly shaved sub to do all the work while you relax kick your feet up and eat your bonbons.

This might be helpful too — check out my review of The Ultimate Personal Shaver Kit HERE!

Here are some video suggestions to accompany my thoughts.

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Name: Susie
Gender:
Age: 25
Location: Indianapolis
My husband and I are beginning to experiment with some light bondage and discipline.  We’d like to know more about this and how to play safely.  Unfortunately, because of his job we are stuck here in Indianapolis for another whole year.  We have yet to find even one other person around here who shares our kink.  So we don’t have anyone to ask about this.

Ahhh, the joys of the heartland.  I’d be willing to guess there are other kinky pervs, like you guys, right there in Indian-apollis, but they don’t know how to find you anymore than you guys know how to find them.  Kinda sad, huh?  Well probably ya’ll are gonna need to turn to them internet tubes for the help you’re looking for.  Kink and BDSM sites abound.  Almost all of them have great “how to” and “helpful tips” sections geared to the budding kinkster.  Several of these sites also feature profiles, chat rooms and bulletin boards for like-minded folks to connect and play.

For something really special, check out my newest podcast series — Sex EDGE-U-cation.  I’m chatting with prominent educators, practitioners and advocates of unconventional sexual expressions and lifestyles from all over the world.

But since you are here, darlin’, I do have some preliminary thoughts to share.  First, every scene should be negotiated before play begins.  Never bypass this important step even if the two of you only play with one another.  Ya see, what you don’t want to have happen is to break the mood mid-scene to ask a question or seek direction.  All that should be taken care of before you start the play.  Get use to working out all the logistics a head of time.  These important negotiation sessions will also force you to communicate with each other and give you a ready vocabulary for talking with other prospective partners should the opportunity ever arise.

Negotiating a BDSM scene is not a “I’ll do this for you if you do that for me” sort of deal, like in vanilla sex.  Rather it’s an honest discussion about you and your partner’s wants, needs, expectations and limits for the scene. Regardless if you are the dominant top or a submissive bottom, you must be equal partners when negotiating each scene.

If you do this sort of play a lot, the negotiations may become perfunctory.  But like I said, a114592_xlf1they ought never be skipped.  The nature of these negotiations is to set parameters, ascertain boundaries and establish limits — for example the intensity and duration of the scene. You may find that you need to set a time limit for your play, or discuss the type of restraints and means of discipline to be used.  Debriefing (also known as Aftercare), once the scene is ended, is also a real good idea.  You’ll, of course, need to establish safewords for your play.  And if you don’t know what those are; you’d best stick to vanilla.

The more experience you have, the more likely you will develop a shorthand for negotiating your play.  However, the less experienced you are, the more important it will be to spell out absolutely everything.  Your negotiations ought to be a frank and open discussion, no holds bared as it were.  Remember, you are not in the scene yet.  So no one, dom or sub, has more input than the other.  Speak and question one another freely.

The first question the dom needs to ask of the sub is “What are your limits?” Be specific, direct and pointed when you ask about one’s limits. The novice sub may not know his or her limits, so the dom will have to proceed with the utmost caution.  This is where the safeword will most likely come into play.

The sub ought to have unqualified trust in the dom; without this the scene isn’t play, it’s abuse. Remember, there is never room for coercion in the negotiations.  Save the guilt tripping, shame-inducement and intimidation for the scene itself.

Here’s some at homework for you and your husband.  Check out The Surrender Of O.  This is just one of the exceptionally fine enrichment videos in my How To Video Library.

Name: juan
Gender: Male
Age: 32
Location:
When me and my wife have sex I like to cum in her ass. Is that bad for her?

If her’s is the only ass you cum in, there’s no problem.

However, if you’re dippin’ you wick in other bung-holes, or have multiple partners of any sort, exchanging bodily fluids is not recommended.

Good luck ya’ll

Luscious LELO, Part 1

Hey sex fans,

The Dr Dick Review Crew has been in a complete tizzy lately. Even these hardened veterans of the adult product review trenches were totally gaga when I put out the word that I had a slew of LELO products to review. Everyone on the crew couldn’t wait to get their grubby little hands all over these top of the line sex toys…I mean Pleasure Objects.

That”s right, sex fans, LELO not only reinvented the sex toy; they’ve evolved it into an object of pleasure. And trust me, it’s not just semantics. LELO products are indeed in a class of their own.

The Dr Dick Review Crew will be spending several weeks putting the LELO line through its paces. Whatever you do, don’t miss a single installment!

Today, we feature the G-spot LELO Pleasure Object — GIGI.

Review Crew members, Gina & Kevin, do the honors

GIGI $109

Gina: “I’ve been salivating over the LELO line for ages. I’ve seen them online, in magazine ads and I’ve even handled a couple of them at Babeland, Seattle. But I never expected to actually own one.”
Kevin: “I’m totally blown away too. These babies are stunning.”
Gina: “I never thought I’d own a LELO because they are kinda pricey. But after using
GIGI for a few weeks I can say that they are worth every cent. First off, they are rechargeable; so right away you save on the cost of battery replacement. Which, to my mind, not only makes LELO price competitive, but a bargain in the long run.”
Kevin: “
GIGI is a sensual work of art; it’s creatively innovative and it is GREEN! Anyone who reads our reviews on a regular basis knows that the Review Crew gives extra points for toys that are rechargeable.”
Gina: “GREEN is IN, fellow consumers!”
Kevin: “Also anyone who reads our reviews on a regular basis knows that I am like totally into my ass and gigi_deep_rose_mv1prostate. I know that
GIGI is marketed exclusively as a G-spot vibe, but I’m here to tell you (and the LELO people) that GIGI is dyn-O-mite on a dude’s P-spot too.”
Gina: “Kevin knows of what he speaks! Over the last year or so we’ve tried numerous insertables in his butt. Most were packaged as “women only” toys, but we didn’t care.”
Kevin: “I think toy producers are missing a load of crossover sales opportunities because they often focus on a specific gender in advertising. I mean Gina and I totally turned the WE-Vibe marketing concept on its head in our review (#13).”
Gina: “
GIGI is made from medical grade s ilicone, which give s it a velvety feel that is deliciously soft and warm. It has approximately 10cm of insertable length and the G-spot (or in this P-spot) flat and slanted tip has a circumference of 10.5cm. It takes about 2 hours to fully charge this thing. Unlike other rechargeable toys, you’ll know it’s fully charged when the light in the handle goes from flashing to a solid light. And a full charge will give you at least an hour and a half of amazing vibration.”
Kevin: “The power and adjust button is in the ergonomic handle.
GIGI has 5 modes of vibration with 4 speed settings. It’s amazingly powerful for such a little thing. So you can knock yourself out in more ways than one. It’s also super quiet. This thing has quality written all over it.”
Gina: “There was a time, not to long ago, that I would have been too embarrassed to watch Kevin pleasure himself. I thought masturbation, especially if it involved him inserting something into his bum, was something he should do privately. I can’t believe how uptight I once was.”
Kevin: “It was a struggle to break down some of her preconceived ideas about sex in general and masturbation in particular. But she’s totally into it now, I’m happy to report. And we’ve learned so much about pleasuring one another from watching each other pleasure ourselves.”
Gina: “I now absolutely love watching Kevin work his butt. It is such a turn on for me. He always gets the hardest erections when he’s stimulating his prostate. And he always shoots a giant load too. I often find myself sitting back with my own Pleasure Object and trying to keep pace with Kevin.”
Kevin: “If the truth be know, Gina has, on several occasions, jumped on my raging boner when I’m fuckin my ass with a dildo. I think it’s great that she feels free to take control.”
Gina: “It’s true, I can often barely contain myself.”
Kevin: “My first time with
GIGI was fantastic. I lubed it up. (Water based lube only with a fine silicone toy like this.) And nuzzled the flattened and slanted head against my hole. I worked the vibe options, getting a feel for where this baby was gonna take me. With only a little effort on my part the uniquely shaped head disappeared in my ass and hit home directly on my prostate. The flat slanted tip connected with my P-spot and made my eyes roll back in my head with pleasure. It’s like it was made for this purpose. I mean, how many guys are doing without GIGI thinking it’s only for girls?”
Gina: “Like a butt-plug,
GIGI stays in place. When Kevin let go of the vibe to stroke his penis and stretch his scrotum, I reached over and took hold. This startled him out of his revelry, but the gentle rocking motion I added as well as the change in pulsation made him buck and groan. He is the most sexually expressive man I’ve ever known.”
Kevin: “Gina pretends she’s still a shy and retiring catholic school girl when it comes to ass play, but this girl knows how to ramp thing up down there. She denied me the orgasm I was aching for. She forbid me to touch my cock and balls while she worked my ass with
GIGI. She took hold of my nuts and started to slap them, lightly at first, then she really let me have it. Yanking on my sack stretched the skin on my dick shaft and made my cock stick out perpendicular to my belly. I was lovin’ it, big time.”
Gina: “Like I’ve mentioned before, I’ve developed into quite a little dominatrix; something I would never have discovered in myself had it not been for Kevin and his promptings.”
Kevin: “I love it when she’s the Dom; it’s such a turn on. I clamped down on
GIGI using my PC muscles, like if I was doing my Kegel exercises. Intense vibrations filled my groin then moved up to my navel.”
Gina: “I let go of
GIGI, because I knew it would stay in place in Kevin’s butt and straddled his hips in a reverse cowgirl position. This way I was able to continue to pull on his testicles while rubbing his penis all over my vaginal lips and clit. I could even feel GIGI’s vibration in my pelvis. It was so hot!”
Kevin: “I begged for release, the vibration intensity increased with Gina sitting on my lower abdomen. I could hardly stand it. She was rocking back and forth, my dick head barley entering her pussy.”
Gina: “I came twice in rapid succession, then had mercy on my poor butt-boy Kevin. I just touched the underside of his penis with one hand and sperm shot out of him like a canon. He made this incredible animal noise and thrashed beneath me. This brought me to climax one more time and then I slid off him.”
Kevin: “I swear I came so hard it was time to notify the next of kin.”
Gina: “I would have my turn with
GIGI the very next day. Basically Kevin and I changed positions. I began to pleasure myself with the vibe; first outside my vagina, then inside. Kevin insisted that I surrender myself to him, as he did to me. And master that he is, he orally pleasured me while he altered the GIGI pulsations on my G-spot. I was over the top in a matter of a couple minutes.”
Kevin: “It’s so much fun sharing our toys. We play really well together.”
Gina: “Because silicone products are nonporous and hypoallergenic, care and cleaning are a snap. For everyday cleanup a mild soap and water wash is fine. However, if you’re gonna share your toys sterilizing is recommended. You can swish the silicone end of
GIGI in a pot of boiling water for a couple minutes, dry it off and then it’s ready to go. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.”
…full review here


ENJOY

Be sure to look for more LELO reviews in weeks to come.



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No, seriously…

Name: PaunFarr
Gender: Male
Age: 41
Location: Ohio
Dr. Dick, I’m feeling the intense letdown of the ballot issues passed this week in California, Florida and Arkansas. Especially CA, where they had gay marriage but now have lost it, and my heart goes out for all those married couples now in limbo. I don’t understand this. Ohio passed their “marriage protection” act a couple years ago, and it was a devastating blow to me. Why is ok for the majority to restrict the rights of the minority? Where is our defender? Where is justice simply because it’s the right thing, not necessarily the popular thing? Will Barack Obama be able to turn around the tide of hatred and discrimination that George Bush has sewn for eight years? How long must we wait to be recognized as equal citizens and not made to feel like the lowest form of person possible? Looking for some advice on how to hold my head high when we’re so often given the message to slink away.

Yeah, I’m bummed too.  But the November 4th vote is not the end of the story.  There dr_dick_1976.jpgare many more chapters yet to be written.  Don’t let your disappointment and frustration take the wind out of your sails.

The very first thing I learned in the 30 plus years I’ve spent fighting for human rights, is that equality and justice never comes easily.  The second thing I learned is that my dignity and self-worth is not dependent on the approbation of others.

You learn to hold your head up because you KNOW you are as good as anyone else.  You fight inequality and injustice wherever you find it, not just in the gay community.  You make allies of all the other people in your community who are marginalized for whatever reason.  You build a coalition.  When your efforts fail, as they often will, you support and encourage your colleagues and plan your next assault on the in equitable and unjust system.  In fact, you redouble your grassroots organizing to broaden your base by reaching out to others in a language they will understand.  One thing is certain; other minorities will not automatically understand your oppression as a gay man any more than you will automatically understand what oppresses them.  But working together to find common ground will provide you the means to achieve your goals of equality in the dominant culture.  That’s how it’s done.

And ya know what?  This struggle is never over.  If you leave the battle once your rights have been secured, then you signal to your allies that you were only in it for yourself.  Nothing will undermine a coalition faster than selfishness.

Whatever you do, don’t be lookin for a defender to swoop in and save the day for you.  That’s the stuff of fairytales.  If you’re not on the front lines making this coalition happen, then don’t expect anyone, from the president on down, to come to your rescue.  Remember, dignity is not the result of the struggle; dignity is in the struggle.  Make this your life’s work and you won’t be discouraged with one, or even several, set backs.

Name: Paige
Gender: Female
Age: 22
Location:  Tulsa
I am engaged to a wonderful guy.  I’m excited about my upcoming marriage, but I’m also afraid that it will fail.  I know you are going to think we’re freaks, but my fiancé and I have decided to save ourselves for after we are married. Some of our friends even our recently married friends are having trouble with their relationship and with the divorce rate so high, what are the chances that my marriage will work?  Do I just have cold feet or am I not ready to get married?

First off, I don’t think you’re a freak for reserving full sexual expression till after you bride32.jpgare married.  It wasn’t too long ago when that sort of thing was the norm.  And as you say, even though nowadays most people enter marriage as established sex partners, that alone won’t insure a marriage will be a success.

So ok, if a successful marriage is not dependent on sexual experience what does it take to make a marriage work?  Hell, if I knew that I’d bottle it and make myself a well deserved fortune.

For the sake of argument, let’s just say you are the marrying kind and that you simply have cold feet, like every bride and groom to be does.  Let’s say that you and your fiancé have made the right choice…for you…to enter your marriage as virgins.  What’s next?  Possibly you need to jettison the Pollyanna notion that marriage is a breeze.  Your recently married friends are having problems because there are always problems in a marriage.  It’s the nature of the beast.  Hopefully, the problems you guys will face won’t be insurmountable.  But, sure as shootin’, problems will be your constant companions, sometimes they’ll even big problems. So count on it and prepare yourself accordingly.

If you have an unwavering commitment to one another to do whatever it takes to make your overall relationship work, you’ll probably be ok. Being sexually unfamiliar with one another may be a liability or it might be an asset.  One thing is certain, if you guys start to have problems with the whole sex thing, as often happens for newlyweds, get help right away.  There should be no shame or embarrassment about that.  In fact, you might want to be proactive and start looking around for sexual enrichment courses or videos to help you grow together as lovers.  Look to my Product Review Page for some video and toy suggestions.

bride0020.jpgHere are some generic tips.  Great sex is dependent on mutuality.  Be sure your partner knows he or she is loved, appreciated and respected.  One of you may discover that he or she has a stronger libido than the other.  That’s pretty common.  Deal with this immediately, like adults. Don’t wait for your relationship to go broken. Accommodations and compromise are always necessary in seeking the common good.  And people come to compromise and accommodation through effective communication.  If you don’t know how to do that, your relationship is doomed.

Passion is not a dirty word, nor is creative sexual expression a sin.  If you have religious scruples about enjoying your body and that of your fiancé you’re headed for trouble.  Boredom in the bedroom, particularly for newlyweds is a recipe for disaster.

Saving yourself for your wedding night does not preclude you being well versed in self-pleasuring.  In fact, the more you know about your body and the mysteries of your sexual response cycle the smoother things will go for the two of you on your wedding night. Nowadays there is absolutely no need for anyone to come to their marriage bed uninformed about sex in general and his or her sexuality in particular.  And come prepared; always have lots and lots of lube handy!

Like I said, mutuality is the key.  And since we all evolve sexually, both of you will need to grow right along with your partner.  Make your sex play an adventure.  Never hesitate to check in with one another to see how the pleasure thing is going.  What worked last time is not necessarily gonna work the next time.

Spontaneity is always a real good thing.  Traditional marriage doesn’t mean you have to be stogy.  Both of you need to take responsibility for seeing that your intimacy needs are being met.  Sometimes that will involve fucking like bunnies, other times it will mean vegging-out in front of the boob-tube with a fist full of Häagen-Dazs.

Openness and honesty about your most secret sexual desires and needs is essential.  Can’t trust your partner with your secrets, you oughtn’t be married to him or her.  Take responsibility for your own sexuality.  Ask for what you want and need, but don’t neglect caring for yourself.

Seek your partner’s pleasure before your own.  This is particularly important for a man.  If you become too busy to celebrate your sexuality together, you are indeed too fuckin busy.  Prioritize your life with your partner at its center.

There’s a fundamental difference between making love and fucking.  Both have their place in a healthy marriage.  And there ought also be room for solitary sex too.  Everyone in entitled to privacy and private time, especially in a marriage.

Have some creativity about your sexual expression.  Toys, fantasies, role-playing, they’re all good.  Don’t be afraid to experiment.  Attend to making your sex play spaces fit the mood — romantic to down and dirty.  One size does not fit all, if you catch my drift.

If you plan to go to seed once you’re married you can be assured that the fire will go out just as soon as you do.  Stay in shape, get plenty of exercise, and keep yourself attractive to your partner.  Pay attention to your personal hygiene. No one wants to bump someone with a smelly body and bad breath.

Make sure your partner is fully aroused before full-on fucking.  And remember sex is way more than the old in an out.  Finally, have a sense of humor about the whole thing; it will help take the edge off.

Name: Steve
Gender: male
Age: 46
Location:
Safe to swallow?  Improve the taste?

I just love it when ya’ll take the time to write or call me to tell me about your spunk. I like it for two reasons. First, it reassures me that ya’ll are paying attention to your sexual response cycle.  And  that you continue to be fascinated with how your body works. These are two really good things.

Second, well hell, I just get a kick outta hearin’ about your joy juice discoveries. Gosh, seed2.JPGIt warms the cockles of my poor old heart.  So keep it up, so to speak, and keep the good doctor informed. Who knows one day I may hear something I’ve never heard before.

Back to you Steve, there ain’t nothin’ to get all freaked out about.  Eatin’ your spooge will not make you sick. If you get off suckin’ up your own seed, knock yourself out. Have a ball! Oh wait, you already are!

Think about it for a minute, there couldn’t possibly be anything in your cum that could harm big old you, because that would mean it would also be harmful to your cute little defenseless sperm. But it’s not, so there.

Technically speaking, your joy juice, semen to be more precise, is mostly water. There’s also a simple sugar to keep you’re hard workin’ sperm alive and well. And, the rest is pure protein, baby. So look at it this way, your eating habits, so to speak, will require you to eat just a little less tofu than the rest of us.

And I do know a little something about making your spooge…spunkalicious.
Most of our ejaculate is produced in our seminal vesicles and prostate gland: not in our testicles, as most folks think. Only our sperm is produced in our balls, and sperm makes up only a fraction of our ejaculate. Our prostate gland is influenced by what we consume; eat, drink, smoke, things like that. So if you want to have sweet tasting jizz, for yourself and others, watch what you consume. Oh, and drink lots of water too.

Eating celery and/or parsley can have an almost immediate effect on the taste of your cum. Some report that the effect can be as swift as 30 minutes. So not only do celery and parsley freshen your breath, but they freshen your spunk as well. Hey, it’s like having two mints in one.

Oh and I can turn you on to a brand new product.  So brand new, in fact, that I have yetsmallermaple.jpg to publish a review of it on my Product Review Page.  Let me introduce you to Intimate Teas.  They have this special tea called My Maple Cookie.  It’s a unique blend of premium herbs specially formulated to change the female genitalia and male semen to smell and taste like pure maple.  How fun is that?  And it really works too.  I mean, who doesn’t want his/her juices to smell and taste like dessert?

If your diet is heavy with meats and fish your jizz will most likely have a bitter taste. A high concentration of dairy products creates a foul taste…so does all that coffee and nicotine. Lots of fruits and vegetables in your diet (except for asparagus that is) will produce a slightly sugary taste. And if you like your cocktails (the kind you drink, silly), it’s best to stick with high-quality, naturally fermented beers, wine or liquor. The cheap stuff, the rotgut, will not only give you a wicked hangover, but will cause your spooge to have an extremely acidic taste.

Name: Alva
Gender: female
Age: 40
Location:  New Mexico

It has been over six years since I have had sex. My husband of 12 years died cancer 5 years ago.  There was no sex in our relationship the last year of his life.  He was the love of my life and I still miss him so much. I would like to get back into the swing of things.  I just don’t know how.  My friends tell me I should get on with my life.  They tell me I’m still an attractive woman and that I’m wasting my life.  Sometimes they badger me so that I don’t want to be around them.  Maybe there’s something wrong with me.  Maybe I’m dead inside.  Why can’t I just move on?

You raise some very interesting issues, Alva, concerns that are often ignored or misdiagnosed by healing and helping professionals.  Grief has a profound effect on grief-1.jpgevery aspect of our lives.  Yet there is hardly any literature on the effects grief has on our sexuality.  To my mind, grief is the leading causes of sexual dysfunction for those who have experienced the death of a loved one.  And you, my dear, present some of the classic symptoms — indecision, self-doubt, lack of libido, a desire to isolate.

Before I continue I want to underscore that grief is not depression.  And treating grief with an antidepressant is counterproductive.  It can actually take away the impetus to resolve the grief and get on the rest of one’s life.

Now, is six years of grieving enough?  Apparently your friends think so. But what do you think?  Would reviving your sex life sully the memory of your dear departed husband?  I believe it’s time for you to bring this concern to a professional for help.  I suggest that you get some therapy from someone who is well versed in both sexuality and grief counseling. I say this not because I’m siding with your friends, but because you, yourself, identify this as a problem.

What could a counselor do for you, you may ask?  Well, I can only speak for myself, and the work I do in my practice.  A good portion of my practice is with sick and dying people and their friends and family who survive them.  I know the impact a terminal illness and the dying process can have on the surviving spouse or partner.  We often go into survival mode, shutting down so much of ourselves in an effort to have the strength to cope with this life-altering experience.  Of course, trying to kick-start our life afterwards is often a monumental effort.  Without the support and guidance of a professional or a group of similarly challenged people, some of us just sink to the lowest common denominator and stop fully functioning.

grief.jpgTraumatic events in our lives can radically shift us out of living mode into merely surviving mode.  And if this goes on for a long time — and six years is a very long time in my opinion — surviving mode begins to feel like living mode.  But it’s not!  Good thing we have friends to tell us when we are off course.  You are right to say that sometimes the interventions of our friends can feel like badgering.  And I know that’s not helpful.  But how else are they to convey their continued concern for your wellbeing?

I believe in the resilience of the human spirit.  I believe that we can honor our dead and continue to live and love too.  Now it’s true that some animals and even some humans mate for life.  And when the mate dies they never mate again.  However, this doesn’t sound like you, Alva.  It sounds to me like you have a desire to get on with your life, to fill the void, to make new connections, but you simply don’t know how.  Acknowledging that fact is a real good place to begin.

Perhaps you could start by reawakening your sexuality through self-pleasuring.  Reconnect with your body and the joy it can bring you.  Six years is a long time to be without, so starting up again may take some effort.  While you are working on resolving your grief in a grief support group, you might want to connect with another group member who will no doubt be experiencing much the same things as you.  You could explore your sexuality together.

Reestablishing a social life will no doubt follow, slowly at first.  But the inevitable tug of our basic need for human to human contact will draw you, if you let it.  Remember the best testament to those who have died is to continue to celebrate life itself.

Good luck ya’ll

I’m Shocked! —— Part 3

Look for my new Product Reviews!

REVIEW #24

Hey sex fans,

We’re back with our final installment in this series that focuses on the pleasures of Erotic Electro Stimulation.  And the exceptional products of Paradise Electro Stimulations, PES.

Last week, as you recall, the Dr Dick Review Crew and I introduced you to a slew of very cool PES Electrodes that attach to the PES Power Box.  These are the thingies and that actually deliver the stimulation.  If you somehow missed either of the first two parts of our presentation, look for REVIEW #22 and #23.

This week the Review Crew will introduce you to even more PES Electrodes.  This week they are all pretty much gender specific — for those among us with manly parts.

This week’s Review Crew include:
Glenn & Hank — Reviews #4, 16, 17, 18, 23
Gina & Kevin — Reviews #4, 13, 16, 17, 18, 23

Glenn & Hank introduce us to the PES Tubular Mid Ring Electrode (C087) $70.00 and the PES Testicle Tubular Electrode (C085) $60.00.

Hank:  “Ya see, the Tubular Mid-Ring is designed to stimulate various points along your cock shat.”
Glenn:  “And the Testicle Tubular Electrode is designed to wrap around your nuts, as well as separating each of your balls to spread the e-stim all over your family jewels. You get to adjust the focus by tightening or loosening the fit of the tubing.
Hank:  “Put these babies together and you have some amazing sensations playing off one another all over your cock and balls.”
Glenn:  “The best thing is the Mid-Ring is completely adjustable.  It’s made of a flexible tubing that you can disconnect from the brass connection and cut to fit any spot on your dick, even right under your dickhead, like the PES Corona Stimulator.  Reconnect the tubing to the brass connection and you’re all set.”
Hank:  “The same is true for the Testicle Tubular Electrode.  So no one has to worry about a ‘one size fits all’ situation.  Because as we all know there is no such thing when it comes to cock and balls.”

c085.jpg c087.jpg

..full review here

Gina & Kevin introduce us to the PES Tubular Base Ring Electrode (C086)   $70.00 and the PES Prostate Stimulator Electrode (C092) $133.00.

Gina:  “When Kevin and I met, I was like this good little Catholic girl.  About as sexually adventurous as I ever got was having sex with the lights on.  I mean it, I must have been a real piece of work.”
Kevin:  “Yeah, it was like she had just escaped from a convent or something.  She was like totally adorable, with this knock-out body, but she was so timid and shy and like completely inexperienced.”
Gina:  “But look at me now!  Thanks to Kevin and our own devious Dr Dick I’ve gotten in touch with my inner ‘Dom’.  Despite my feminist leanings, I thought women were always subservient to men in the bedroom.  I never realized there were ‘Sub’ men.  And anyone who didn’t know Kevin and my little secret would never guess he loves to be dominated.  I mean, it came as a huge surprise to me.”
Kevin:  “It’s true.  Until that fateful first review I did as part of Dr Dick’s Review Crew. I never new I had an inner ‘Sub’ just dying to get out.  I just thought I like things in my ass.”
Gina:  “There’s so much more to this sex stuff than what meets the eye, huh?  I am so grateful to have had this opportunity to wake myself up to the erotic world around me.”
Kevin:  “So we have two electrodes to tell you about.  The Tubular Base Ring is much like the one Glenn and Hank used, only it’s larger and fits down at the base of your cock.  It’s designed to send intense stimulation all over your dick and down into your pelvis.  Because it’s uni-polar, ya have to use it in combination with another electrode. Ya get it?”
Gina:  “To be truthful, we didn’t get it right away either.  We both discovered that a single pole electrode, like the Tubular Base Ring, has to be used in conjunction with another single pole electrode to complete the erotic electro circuit.”
Kevin:  “Doesn’t she sound like Suzie Scientist?”
Gina:  “Shut up!”
Kevin:  “Luckily we had this other electrode, the Prostate Stimulator, (Mmmm, prostate stimulation) to use with the Base Ring.”
Gina:  “Yeah, I mean how lucky was that, butt boy?”
Kevin:  “By the way, the Tubular Ring can be cut to size to allow for a more individual fit.  The Prostate Stimulator, on the other hand is made up of two basic components:  A flexible T-shaped stem with a chrome plated electro conductive sphere at the tip.”

c092.jpg c086.jpg

..full review here

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