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Lace Curtains

We hear from two different young men, both from the UK incidentally, who have a similar problem.

Name: Ste
Gender: Male
Age: 19
Location: UK
I haven’t got a really tight foreskin and can fully retract it when my cock is soft. However, when my cock is hard I can pull the foreskin back over the head but struggle to slide it back and forth so when I masturbate, I do so by keeping my foreskin mostly over the head! I’m a virgin and in a new relationship, will this cause me problems for intercourse???

Name: Mat
Gender: Male
Age: 16
Location: UK
My boyfriend and I both have dicks with foreskin. He can pull his all the way back until it rolls off the head and stays that way. No matter how hard I tug, mine wont retract off the head, so as soon as I let go it rolls back into place

Let’s start at beginning, shall we? When us boys are born we all have a foreskin. A good portion of us will have our unit seriously altered within days of showing up on the scene. Someone, possibly someone with good intentions, will lops off 50% of our cock skin and call it a day. I know, cuckoo, huh? Well be that as it may, those of us who escape this dastardly act have a foreskin, but it’s only open enough to pee through. And it only opens more if it’s stretched, and it only gets stretched if the owner of said foreskin pulls it back over his dickhead. No foreskin ever opens by itself; it gradually gets stretched open over time either intentionally or just through normal use.Foreskin Hug

Most little boys soon discover that pulling back their foreskin feels really good. After all, this unique piece of skin is chock full of nerve endings that register loads of delicious pleasure. A lad’s foreskin needs to be pulled back regularly, in order to stretch it open, and to keep it from shrinking shut again. It is important that the boy do this himself, so that it is pushed only as far back as feels comfortable to him.

Of course, there in lies the rub, so to speak. The sex-negative pressures of the prevailing culture, both here in the good old U.S. of A. as well as abroad, frown upon self-induced pleasure of any sort, even if it is associated with personal hygiene and necessary bodily upkeep. And so most boys get the message that fiddlin’ around down there, even for the purpose of essential maintenance is a no-no. Simply put, without manual stretching a kid’s skin can actually shrink, closing up again.

As the young fella approaches puberty there is, as we all know, a growth spurt. What most of us fail to take into account is that along with his legs, arms, torso, head and feet, his cock is also growing. His dickhead is increasing in size, and if the kid hasn’t established a healthy routine of foreskin stretching there is gonna be trouble. Witness my two correspondents!

hand & foreskinSince parents are not likely to encourage self-discovery of this sort, nor are they inclined to show their young sons how to properly care for this exceptional body part, the kid remains clueless till a problem arises. Wouldn’t it be so much simpler, as well as the responsible thing to do, for all parents with uncut boys to pass on this priceless nugget of wisdom. It would be so easy to do while their kids are enjoying their bath. Parents could show their boys how to retract this fold of skin so that it stays supple, as well as getting things rinsed out underneath. They could encourage their boys to always pull back their lace curtains when they pee. This will automatically keep things more lubricated and elastic, merely by the number of times a fella will handle himself to piss.

Ok, I’m gonna guess that neither of you, Ste or Mat, were instructed on the proper care of your natural cock. Am I right? So now we have some remedial work to do. Let’s start with a few foreskin stretching exercises.

Exercise 1 — While you’re dick is soft; retract your foreskin as far back as you can. Work two fingers in under your hood till you can touch the head of your dick. Now attempt to roll your hood forward and over your fingers. It’s like docking another dick, only you’re using your fingers. This exercise depends on you having your fingers inside your foreskin for it to be effective. In time you’ll be able to add three fingers, instead of just two. This will stretch your skin to the point you’ll be able to easily retract it over your erect dickhead.foreskin41

Exercise 2 — Grab each side of the foreskin opening and gently pull each side apart. Stretch the opening till it’s stretched with a tension you can tolerate, but that is not actually painful. Hold for a count of 10 and release. Repeat for 5 sets of 10 pulls per day, more if you can handle it. Here’s a tip, these stretches are best done after soaking in a warm bath or a long hot shower.

Exercise 3 — This is a variation on exercise 1. Insert a smooth cylindrical object into your foreskin opening, like the cork from a wine bottle. This object needs to be just large enough to stretch the skin without pain. Once inserted, leave it there for as long as you can during the day, or for over night. As your foreskin stretches you want to swap the one object for another with a larger diameter. If a wine cork is too big to start with, consider a smaller smooth wooden or plastic dowel. You can find these sorts of things at the hardware store. You might need to use a bit of surgical tape to keep these stretchers in place.

These exercises may sound a bit invasive or uncomfortable, and perhaps they will be at first. But don’t worry; you’ll live. In a short period of time you will have a much more pliable foreskin, one that you can retract at will and with ease. And when you’re sexually active with a partner, it will work flawlessly and exponentially increase your pleasure.

Good luck

Finessing That Ass Fuck — A Tutorial For a Top

This tutorial is for anyone who is considering being a top, regardless of whether the meat injection is 100% prime, or a beef substitute (a strap-on dildo), these words of wisdom are for you.

What Ya Need To Know

Let’s get something clear right from the get-go. And this is for all you sticklers for semantics out there. The word “top” has several sexual connotations. There are of course BDSM tops, but generally they go by the moniker “dom”. And one can accurately say there a “top” in any sexual activity that involves an active and passive partner — such as cocksucking and watersports. But today’s lesson is for the active partner in butt sex. But you knew that already. Because all you had to do is read the title of this article to figure that out, huh?

Some folks just aren’t open to the idea of experimenting with their assholes. They think it’s gonna be painful, or worse, messy.

So first off, prospective tops, you don’t want to try buggering these folks. A good top should know it makes no sense at all to try to force or belittle an unwilling bottom to give up his or her rosebud. This is simply a waste of everyone’s time. Because if you do succeed in getting the unwilling bottom to relent, and the subsequent fucking attempt confirms the bottom’s earlier suspicions that this activity is indeed painful or gross or both, you’ll have won the skirmish, but lost the war. Remember, it takes two to tango.

Secondly. Before a top commences a fuck of any kind, they need to consider whose pleasure is primary in this particular fuck. There is a big difference between fucking for the top’s pleasure, for the bottom’s pleasure, or for mutual pleasure. For instance, if a top is trying to finesse a novice bottom into exploring ass fucking, that top needs to concentrate on the bottom’s pleasure first.

Start by getting the bottom comfortable being touched where the sun don’t shine. Lubricate your hand generously and massage the outside of their hole. Make some lazy little circles with your fingers and drive your bottom wild with desire. When their sphincter starts to quiver, as it surely will, slowly penetrate your bottom’s bottom with a lubricated fingertip. After a few minutes of just hanging out with your finger in there, you can begin to slowly slide your finger in and out. Be sure to take your time. Allow their muscles to adjust to being penetrated. You might want to incorporate a thin vibrating dildo and/or some expert rimming to pave the way for bigger things.

When a top fingers a bottom, they would do well, at this point, to reconsider the width of his dick or her strap-on. Once your bottom can take two fingers comfortably and three fingers with a minimum of discomfort, they’re ready to take a modest-sized cock or dildo. If you’re very well-endowed or you plan to strap on a monster dildo, you’d better adjust this finger-formula based on the width of your fingers and your equipment. And, you know, make sure your partner is aware of the girth of what awaits him or her.

A clean asshole is a fuckable asshole. Hygiene is essential for both tops and bottoms. Bottoms may wish to use a small bulb syringe and plain water to clean out a few hours before the event. And tops, once your cock or dildo has been inside your bottom’s ass, don’t go puttin’ that thang anywhere else until you’ve washed it down with soap and water. Carelessness in the hygiene department will only invite a very serious infection.

Making It Happen

Tops, be sure to use a good personal lube and have your favorite condoms within reach. Getting your bottom into the right position, one that is comfortable for both of you is paramount. There are way too many positions for me cover here, but when choosing a position, consider your preference, the bottom’s preference, your cock and/or dildo size, your body type and the bottom’s body type. You may find that a pillow or two positioned under your bottom’s pelvis will help support and prop up your bottom’s bottom in most positions.

Painful fucking is a sign that something is being done incorrectly. It is not a sign from God that ass fucking is wrong. In most cases, pain is due to a few predictable factors:

  • The bottom is too tense and is tightening up.
  • The top is being impatient and is pushing too hard too soon.
  • There may not be enough lubricant.
  • The cock or strap-on is too big for the bottom’s experience level.

Obviously, both people should be comfortable and feel pleasure from it. However, it’s perfectly fine, on occasion, to concentrate on one person’s pleasure over the pleasure of the other. Just make sure you both agree on whose pleasure is gonna be the focus of any given fuck.

Topping is a skill like any other. Practice will improve your technique. And while practicing, invite and listen to the feedback coming from your bottom.

The Top’s Handy-Dandy Tally Sheet

Ok, let’s review.

  1. Always use a lubricant. Both water-based and silicone- based lubricants are latex-compatible and highly recommended.
  2. Stop immediately if your partner asks you to stop. I’m not suggesting that you stop trying altogether; just don’t push yourself onto your bottom when he or she wants you to stop. Find the source of the problem—lubrication, position, whatever, resolve the problem, and resume the fuck.
  3. Take it slow. There is no need to rush, especially if you’re experimenting with anal sex for the first time.
  4. A bottom’s desire to be fucked will not insure pleasurable cornholing. It’s nice that he or she might want to surrender their ass, but that’s not gonna make it happen on its own.
  5. Always communicate with your bottom. Keep your communication playful and dirty. Tops, be open about what you want and how it’s feeling. “Oh baby, that’s right you’ve got such a tight hole. You want my big meat in your ass? Yes you do! Open up for daddy…or momma…as the case may be.” Get the picture?
  6. Spread the pleasure around. Keep your hands busy on the bottom’s clit or cock, at least initially. If the bottom can make the connection between the pleasure he/she is familiar with (cock or clit) with the new butt related sensations; then the battle has been won.

In Conclusion

Some experienced bottoms can orgasm with ass fucking alone. Women do so through pelvic muscle contractions and G-spot stimulation; men because of pressure applied to their prostate.

Oh, and here’s something you need to know. We all have two sphincter muscles. If you insert a finger about one half-inch into your ass and press your fingertip against the side you’ll find them both. There is less than a quarter-inch between them. The external sphincter is controlled by the central nervous system, which means you can tense and relax this sphincter at will. The internal sphincter is quite different. This muscle is controlled by the autonomic nervous system making it involuntary. This muscle responds to fear and anxiety. It may cause your bottom’s hole to tense up automatically even if he or she is trying to relax.

Tops, remember the rectum is not straight. After the short anal canal that connects the asshole to the rectum, the rectum tilts toward the front of the body, sometimes as much as 90 degrees. That’s way some people are anatomically less suited to ass fucking.

Finally, the best attribute a top can have is his or her sense of humor about the whole friggin’ deal. Fucking ain’t as easy as it looks, at least not at first. But perseverance will carry the day.

Good luck!

Play With It welcomes Audrey McManus — Podcast #248 — 11/29/10


Hey sex fans,

What if I could introduce you to some of the industry insiders in the world of adult products? What if I could bring you a series of conversations with leading retailers, educators, manufacturers and reviewers who are shaping the sex toy and pleasure product marketplace? Well wish no more, because I’m gonna do precisely that with a new podcast series I’m inaugurating today. It’s called — Play With It!

To insure that we get off on the right foot in this new series, I looked high and low for the best person to launch this series with me. As it turns out, I didn’t have to look very far at all. Today we take an audio field trip to a women-friendly adult toy emporium right here in the Emerald City. We’re off to meet the splendid Audrey McManus. She is the Marketing, Education and Social Media Coordinator for Babeland, Seattle.

If you know anything about adult products you will know that the Babeland brand stands for uncompromising quality. And Seattle is lucky enough to have one of their retail outlets in our midst. Audrey has loads of information to share with us about the intimate workings of a sex toy boutique.

Audrey and I discuss:

  • Being a sexuality educator;
  • Being the social media maven for Babeland;
  • Sinner/Saint Burlesque;
  • Teaching about the G-spot;
  • Being pregnant;
  • Vibrator use;
  • Greening your sex life — what to look for, what to avoid;
  • The wisdom of buying quality;
  • Rechargeable toys and rechargeable batteries.

Audrey invites you to check out all the fabulous products and interesting enrichment programs available at Babeland by visiting their site HERE! Look for her on Facebook HERE!  And enjoy her twitter feed HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

A Whole Lot Of Wonderful!

Hey sex fans,

One of the real treasures of the Pacific Northwest is the marvelous Center for Sex Positive Culture right here in the Emerald City. The Center and its parent foundation offer events like workshops and discussion groups that are open to anyone 18+. You don’t need to be a member of the Center to attend. And many events are free! Visit them on their website HERE!

So ya know how they say that good things come in threes? Well this is particularly true this month. And I am proud to bring you a little taste of what’s in store for you and me at The Center. Check out this outstanding lineup of upcoming events.

The Feminine Fountain: Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot

This coming Friday, October 22, 2010
8:00 PM to 10:00 PM
Annex
$35 (members receive $10 voucher for the WERK lounge that night)

Join female ejaculation expert and author, Deborah Sundahl, for this amazing workshop. She is a female ejaculation pioneer. Her book, Female Ejaculation and the G-spot, and her video line titled: The Female Ejaculation Sex Education Series, draw on her 22 years experience, research, and instruction on this important topic of female sexuality. Come benefit from her wisdom.

Learn about female ejaculation’s ancient history, current scientific studies, where the G-spot is located, how to have a G-spot orgasm, and how to get this wonderful feminine fountain flowing! Open to both men and women, Deborah’s Power Point lecture with pictures, movie clips and Q&A will tell you all you need to know about female ejaculation and the G-spot.

For more information on this event, click HERE!

An Intimate Evening with Author Christopher Ryan

Sunday, October 24
6:00 PM to 8:00 PM
Main Space
$10-25 sliding scale (no one will be turned away)

Co-author of Sex at Dawn, Christopher Ryan, will make a special appearance at The Center to talk about sex and nonmonogamy, and sex and hunters and gathers, and sex and penises, and sex and orgasms, and well sex, sex and more sex. Sex at Dawn is the book everyone is talking about; it’s the book that is turning sexual scholarship on its head.

I’ll be there, so look for me and say hi.

Be sure to bring your copy of Sex at Dawn for Christopher to sign. Don’t have a copy yet? Not to worry; The Center will have books for sale.

For more information on this event, click HERE!

Kinky Carnival Returns

October 29, 2010
7pm until midnight
$25 advance/$30 door/$100 Gold VIP

Ya wanna start your Halloween weekend off with a bang? I thought so! Well I have just the thing for you. The sixth annual Kinky Carnival is heading your way.

Imagine an event where you can sample a load of delightfully edgy sex stuff. The Kinky Carnival is designed for those who are new to sex-positivity and BDSM. It offers a way for you to realize your fantasies at an easy pace and in a safe space. The Carnival will feature the “Ask” booth, where attendees are invited to ask questions about the activities they see. Other booths include “Zap”, “Pierce”, “Submit”, “Sensation”, “Flog”, “Rub”, “Mmm”, and “Ground”.

If you’re a budding pervert, or you’d like to be, or know someone who is, this evening is made for you. Costumes are welcomed, but not required.

For more information on this event, click HERE! For tickets, click HERE!

Sylvia O’Stayformore, Part 2 – Podcast #151 – 09/09/09

Hey sex fans,

We’re back with the toast of the Emerald City, Sylvia O’Stayformore and more of her naughtySylviacharming Sex EDGE-U-cation.  There’s nothing like the wisdom of a drag queen to put all this sex, sexuality and gender stuff into perspective, don’t cha know.

Did you somehow miss Part 1 of this enjoyable conversation?  Well, all ya have to do is use the search function in the sidebar to your right.  Type in Podcast #150 and PRESTO!  You’ll find last week’s show.  But when you do your search, don’t forget to include the # sign.

Sylvia and I discuss:

  • Becoming Sylvia and her signature look.
  • Crossdressing; compulsion or recreation.
  • The difference between a drag queen and a female impersonator.
  • If there is a hormonal or genetic component to crossdressing.
  • The skill involved in being a drag queen.

Be sure to visit Sylvia on her MySpace page HERE.  She’s on Facebook too, HERE.

Due to the popularity of last week’s show and the inclusion of the Jizz4U LIVE video archive, I’ve decided to added a new one this week.  Today’s archive features Sylvia and her special guest, Miss Indigo Blue.  Be sure to check it out.  And yes, there will be another naked man.  Hey, it’s what we did!

You’ll find the video HERE!

See a slideshow of the fabulous Sylvia O’Stayformore at work and play.

Click on the thumbnails below.

[nggallery id=42]

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Eden Fantasys.com.

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