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Try as I might…

Name: Dan
Gender: Male
Age: 48
Location: Montreal
I’m a late forties year old man who has lived numerous sexual experience in the past, until I met just in the beginning of this past year a wonderful interesting, woman with all the qualities and values that I needed. We started our first sexual experience a few months ago, April. The result was quite a disaster. I wasn’t able to do any penetration on her. She insisted that she has a blockage, and I had no idea about blockage and wanted to leave her place. Now I tried to understand her, but her problem has two factors that I’ve never came across with a woman. One is that if I fucked her she would get vaginitis. She doesn’t have any reaction when I fuck her. However, the scenario with her is the usual. She would get into her closet wear something very daring and sexy and give me a nice blowjob and …swallow. I would usually experience just straight penetration, in any position in my past experience with other women But would this mean that the sexy clothes and asking me if I would cum in her mouth, compensated for her inability to have my penis in her vagina? She asked me that I would have to eat her pussy often so she would feel something. The last time I did I was eating her pussy for two hours with a few breaks until she came. My question is can I take this any longer, and what is the connection with her vaginitis?

Hell, Dan, I don’t know if you can take this any longer or not. What’s clear to me is, things are pretty grim, not just for you but also for your lady friend.

Your story is a little difficult to follow. I’m gonna guess that English is not your first language, right? But here’s what I think you’re trying to say. You are a sexually experienced man in his forties. You’ve recently met an interesting woman that you like very much. Unfortunately, the sex sucks…and not in a good way.

Your friend experiences pain while fucking, but you don’t know why. She says there’s a blockage and tells you that intercourse will only lead to vaginitis, which is an inflammation of the vaginal mucosa and often associated with an irritation or an infection. While this is a pretty common problem, it should not be an every fucking time kinda problem…if you catch my drift. However, this little lady is happy to give you a hummer to make up for this. And just to show you there are no hard feelings — she’ll even swallow your spunk. Well, she’s a trooper that’s for sure! Unfortunately, avoiding the fucking issue won’t solve the mystery of why fucking is a real pain in the pussy.

The two most likely reasons for this painful fucking are: 1) the woman is not aroused enough before the fucking begins, or 2) there is an actual physical condition that might make fucking painful, even if she is aroused.

It’s easy enough to eliminate the second option; all your woman friend has to do is pay her gynecologist a little visit and have her doc take a quick look around. If there is indeed a blockage, as she says there is, a gynecological exam will discover it and end the debate.

That being said, I’d be willing to bet that, in your friend’s situation the first reason is the more likely culprit. This is often the case with pre-orgasmic women and your woman friend sounds like she may very well fall into that category. If your woman friend has lived all her adult life without having an orgasm, she will sure enough be conditioned not to expect one any time soon — either through fucking or by having you eat her out…even for hours. And hey, you’re a trooper too for doin’ that, darlin’!

I’d be willing to speculate that she’s not particularly informed about her own sexual response cycle. Thus she’s unable to provide you much direction on how to pleasure her without discomfort. A woman, particularly a preorgasmic one, must come to full arousal before her partner attempts penetration. A man, on the other hand, needs only to have a stiff dick. This obviously makes them (men) more ready and eager for the old in and out long before their female partner is ready and eager for the same. If you are guilty of this, and there’s a good chance that you are, your woman friend’s body will resist you, even if she desires to make a go of it.

Your woman friend could start getting over this by being better informed about her own sexual response cycle. If she doesn’t know what turns her crank, she can’t expect you to know what to do, even with all of your experience. Once she figures out how her body works, and this information will come best through masturbation, she’ll then be able to instruct you on the subtleties and points of interest of her particular pussy.

Touch is very important to most women, especially in the arousal stage of things. Often women will want to be touched and caressed all over, not just on the sexually charged spots of her body like her tits and pussy. She ought to take you on a little touch tour of her body. Literally, she could take you by the hand and touch herself with your fingers. She should show you the kind of touch she likes in the places she likes to be touched. You guys will need to take your time with this. I can pretty much guarantee you won’t get it the hang of this first time you try.

With her help you’re gonna be able to see her arousal build. She could encourage you to use your lips and mouth as well as your hands. If she’s not fully aroused, her pussy will be dry. But even if she is wet, you ought to use a nice personal lubricant to make her even more slippery and to facilitate penetration. I can’t overstate the necessity of lots and lots of lube.

If you guys follow these simple steps, you will have greater success with your fucking. Your woman friend will experience great pleasure and she will, in turn, be a fount of great pleasure for you. In the end, your woman friend must take the lead in this. She must get to know her own body first, so she can teach you about it next.

Finally, let me turn you on to a couple of great resources. Both are SEX WISDOM podcasts. I suggest that you and your woman friend listen to these shows together.  The first is an interview with author Mikaya Heart. Mikaya is the author of The Ultimate Guide To Orgasm For Women; How to Become Orgasmic For A Lifetime. It is by far the best book about women’s sexuality that I have read in the past decade, if not longer.

The second interview is with sexologist, Dr Shannon Chavez. She is one of the co-founders of the revolutionary SHE (Sexual Health Experts) Clinic in Arizona. Theirs is a comprehensive interdisciplinary treatment approach to female sexual health needs.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

SEX WISDOM With Shannon Chavez — Podcast #348 — 10/03/12


Hello sex fans! Welcome back.

I have another fantastic SEX WISDOM show for you today. I am delighted to welcome a new friend and colleague, Dr Shannon Chavez.

Shannon is a clinical psychologist and sexologist with a certification in the diagnosis and treatment of sexual disorders. She is one of the co-founders of the revolutionary SHE (Sexual Health Experts) Clinic in Arizona. Theirs is a comprehensive interdisciplinary treatment approach to female sexual health needs. And I can promise you a wide-ranging and fascinating discussion about their unique outreach to women. This is very cutting-edge stuff, sex fans!

Shannon and I discuss:

  • The SHE website;
  • Their commitment to help women achieve and restore their sexual health;
  • Their outreach — to, by, and for women;
  • Balancing the medical model and the pleasure model;
  • Becoming Dr Chavez;
  • Her colleagues;
  • The feedback she gets from patients and clients;
  • The reception SHE is getting from professional peers.

 

Shannon invites you to visit her on the SHE site HERE! You can also find her on Facebook HERE! And she’s on Twitter HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

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A Labor Of (self) Love

Our brief summer holiday is coming rapidly to an end. The Dr Dick Review Crew is straggling back home and our podcasts will resume on Wednesday, 09/05/12. But today is Labor Day and I think we should acknowledge those who labor at self-love.

Name: Amy
Gender: female
Age: 23
Location: salt lake city
I have this weird thing that when I masturbate with a vibrator I can’t seem to bring myself to an orgasm. It feels really good and everything, but I get almost there but can’t quite cum. Does that make sense? It’s been awhile since I had a guy…but I digress. I was just wondering if you have any advice, or if I’m doing it wrong, or…I just need some help. Thanks a lot.

Hold on there, darlin’, are you tellin me you can jill-off just fine using your hand, but when you kick start your vibrator and apply it to your naughty bits you can’t cum? Is that what you’re tellin’ the good doctor? Or maybe I’m assuming things I shouldn’t. Maybe you’re not masturbating to orgasm at all, by hand or by gadget.

Since you’re not here to fill me in, so to speak, the best way to handle this is with a scatter gun approach. If you’re unable to jill-off to completion by any means, manual or mechanical, you may be preorgasmic. I’ve written a lot about this already, so there’s no need for me to repeat myself. Here’s what you do; check the CATEGORY pull down menu in the sidebar to your right.  Look for the main category — Sex therapy and under that look for the subcategory ‘Preorgasmic Women‘. Or check out the main category — Sexual Performance and look for the subcategory ‘Female Masturbation‘. You’ll find loads of swell information about this very topic.

If, perchance, you can masturbate just fine using your hand, but the rub (no pun intended) comes when you introduce a vibrator, then that’s a horse of a different color. In that instance, I’ll need more information before I can be of much help. Like, I’d want to know what kind of vibe are you using? Is it an all purpose wand type? A dildo kinda thingy that you insert in your pussy? Is it a rabbit, a G-spot vibe, a bullet or an egg-shaped vibrator? Are you doing any direct clitoral stimulation?

If you can make yourself cum through manual stimulation, how different a sensation is the vibrator? Is it possible that you need more vroom? Is it too intense?

What about other stimulus? Like what’s going on between your ears while you’re diddlin’ yourself? Are you thinking dirty thoughts? Watching some delicious smut? Reading some kick-ass erotica? Or are you concentrating so much on making the big “O” happen to actually let it happen? Chicks get performance anxiety too, even when they are by themselves. Performance anxiety is not just a guy thing.

I discussed your question with my friend, Joy. She asked me to ask you about the position you are in when you’re jillin-off. She said she had the damnedest time throwing herself her first screamin’ meme, even with a vibrator until she discovered that getting into a squatting position with her back against a wall did the trick. Stands to reason, orgasms are all about building sexual and muscle tension. Joy found that squatting tensed her hamstrings, quadriceps, glutes and even her PC muscle. This tension was just the thing to deliver the goods. Joy did add, however, that getting out of the squat after the event was really tricky. She said that in the end, she just learned to simply topple over with a bit of a thud. I had to laugh when she told me this, because I couldn’t help seeing Joy in my mind’s eye (she’s a big girl, don’t cha know) all breathless and topsy-turvy on the floor with a big ol’ shit-eatin grin on her face after finally delivering herself from the land of the preorgasmic.

One final thing, I’ve often heard women speak of the high success rate of jillin-off to orgasm in the bath. Again, this stands to reason too. Here you are all relaxed, warm and cozy, all wet and squishy. Why not add a little jet of warm water or a waterproof vibe and you’ll be havin’ an orgasm as easy as fallin’ off a log…or so I’m told. Just remember, baths and plug-in, electrical kinda vibes definitely don’t mix! A miscalculation here and you’ll find your ass in the sweet hereafter.

Listen, Amy, why not write back sometime with either more information or to report a success. I’d love to hear from you.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

A little late summer break…

Hey sex fans,

Everyone here at Dr Dick Sex Advice and Dr Dick Sex Toy Reviews is taking a well-deserved, but short, late summer break. Our podcasts and product reviews will come roaring back on September 5, 2012. Stay tuned!

Take Me To Paradise

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday! And today’s edition comes with a distinct international flair. We are proud to welcome a new company to our review effort, Rianne S. This remarkable company and their beautiful products come to us all the way from Belgium.

The Rianne S website claims “(Our) products combine sexuality, style and intelligence, which above all deliver the desirable results. The products are simple to use and easy to incorporate into sexual play and also beautiful and fashionably classic.” Well, we’ll just see about that.

Dr Dick Review Crew members, Denise and Ken are here to see if today’s product lives up to the hype.

Matryoshka —— $119.95

Ken & Denise
Denise: “I’m in heaven! I’m floating on a cloud of pleasure. Ken and I are enjoying the afterglow of some amazing lovemaking. But I knew this was going to happen even before it began. Thank you Matryoshka!”
Ken: “I took more of a wait-and-see attitude. But I was at a strict disadvantage, because Denise had some private time with the Matryoshka before we all had an opportunity to play together.”
Denise: “Yes, that’s where the story starts. Today’s sexual bliss for us actually began a couple of weeks ago. I stopped by Dr Dick’s to pick up our new product to review.”
Ken: “When Denise told me about the Matryoshka I realized I had heard that word before. It took me a moment, but I soon remembered; a matryoshka is a Russian nesting doll. This, of course made sense once I saw the vibe out of its package. It’s small and discreet and is shaped like…yuo guested it… one of those dolls.”
Denise: “I guess I’d say that the Matryoshka is primarily a clitoral vibrator. But it’s rounded head can be used anywhere on your body for area-specific stimulation. It’s perfect for nipples, labia, inner thighs, perineum and anus. While it can be inserted, it’s diminutive size doesn’t allow for any real depth of insertion. It’s only 3.25″ high with about 1.5″ insertable length. The broad base makes it easy to grip during use.”
Ken: “The Matryoshka is perfect for couple’s play, but I think I’m getting ahead of the story.’”
Denise: “Yeah, let’s tell them about what it’s made of and how it operates first.”
Ken: “The Matryoshka is covered in 100% high quality silicone, which is nonporous, phthalate-free, hypoallergenic and latex-free. It is exceptionally soft and smooth. There is no texture to it. It is velvety to the touch. The letters “RS” are raised on the body near the control buttons. And because it is silicone, be sure to use only a water-based lube with it. A silicone-based lube would mar the beautiful finish.”
Denise: “Two raised buttons just below the neck of the Matryoshka operate the vibe. The buttons are easy to press, but not so easily that you’ll press them accidentally while you’re using it. Either button will turn it on. To turn it off, press either button for three seconds. To lock, press both buttons down for five seconds. To unlock, do the same. You can cycle through the power settings, by pressing the double circle button. To cycle through the vibration patterns, press the other button.”
Ken: “There are five speeds (intensities) and five vibration patterns (if you count the constant vibration as a pattern). The vibrations are focused in the tip of the Matryoshka and you can feel them throughout the head of the toy. There is virtually no vibration in base, thus your hand won’t numb or vibrate as you hold it. And the Matryoshka is super quiet.”
Denise: “The Matryoshka is waterproof. Since the charger works magnetically there’s no charger port for water or lube to get inside the toy. This gets me to my first date with the Matryoshka. We were alone, in the bath. I saw stars!
Ken: “The Matryoshka recharges its lithium ion battery by sitting on its recharger dock, which doubles as a discreet storage compartment. This is mighty cool stuff. Oh, it also comes with a drawstring bag storage bag, which makes it perfect for traveling.”
Denise: “A word about the beautiful packaging. The Matryoshka comes in an understated purple box. Inside the box you’ll find the charging/storage cylinder, the users manual, warranty, charger, pouch, and adapters for the US, Europe, Australia, and UK. There’s also a beautiful booklet with information on Rianne S. All the packaging is recyclable. Kudos!”
Ken: “So Denise love the Matryoshka in the bath and she loved it for her self-pleasuring, but the real test for us would be in partnered play. And here too the Matryoshka excelled. It’s powerful enough to deliver real pleasure, but small enough as to not get in the way when we fuck.”
Complete Article HERE!
ENJOY

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