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Never a dull moment

Name: David
Gender: male
Age: 36
Location:  Iowa
Dear Dr. Dick I am a 36yr old male, I have come clean with myself and my family about my sexuality about 2 years ago. But before then, I was very much in the closet about my sexuality not only to friends and family but also to myself.To see me or to talk to me you would never know I’m gay, although I believe that this is just a label. I don’t believe I ever want to come out completely. Whenever a conversation comes up at work or I attend a briefing on sexual harassment, there is always a comment about homosexuality, I blush every time this comes up.When I was younger I hid my sexuality and tried to fool myself into thinking I wasn’t. But of course you know that will eat a person alive. I know it did me.  So I sought counseling and paved the way for me coming out to a few close people.Anyway, I still struggle with the issue.  On the outside I’m as straight as ever, but on the inside I’m gay. Do you have any suggestions to help me over this acceptance of myself?coming-out.jpg

Honey, as far as Dr. Dick is concerned you haven’t even begun to come out.  Sorry to be so blunt, but just identifying your sexual preference to a few individuals “coming clean” as you suggest (hey, we’re talkin about being gay here, not confessing to being an ax murderer) is not the moral equivalent of coming out.  If you can’t celebrate your sexuality and, I might add, integrate it into you whole personhood, then you’re not OUT.  PERIOD.

It is true what you say about being in the closet and getting eaten alive in there.  But if you’re queer on the inside (whatever that means) and straight on the outside (God forbid) then you’re still a danger to yourself.  This, is after all, the very definition of schizophrenia, darlin’.

I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess that you still have loads of shame about who you are.  I encourage you to get back into counseling ASAP until you resolve that.  The world does not need any more fence sitters.  gay-pride.jpgYou’re either gay or you’re not.  You either celebrate that (and I don’t mean waving a flag or parading around like a lunatic) or ya don’t.

I don’t suppose any of us is ever really free of all our own internalized homophobia any more than other oppressed and marginalized minorities can rid themselves of their internalized self-doubt.  No one can completely escape the prejudices and biases that surround them.  But most of us make our way regardless.  That’s why coming out is so important.  It empowers us.  It increases our self-esteem.  Honesty about our life increases our personal integrity.  When we stop hiding or denying this important part of our life we have greater freedom of self-expression.  And we become more available for happy, healthy and honest relationships.  So you see, you have a ways to go.

Name: Liz
Gender: Female
Age: 31
Location: GA
My hubby wants me to have a 3 way with him and another women and I don’t know and I am a little scared I might like it and he wants to have the other women lick me while he plugs her from behind and I am afraid to. We have done a 3 way with him and another guy pound me but they didn’t touch each other so what should I do he has 2 female friends that are willing to try it and I don’t want to lose my hubby so what should I do? — mom in need of help

Very interesting, Liz!  And ahhh, what would be so wrong with you enjoying some hot girl girlongirl.jpgon girl action?  Isn’t that the purpose?  This is where so many men and a whole lot of women are so very different.  Men have more permission to be sexually assertive.  But if you plan on being an equal partner in these sexual adventures, you’d better buck up, darlin’!  To paraphrase the immortal Fats Waller; Find out what you like and how you like it; then make it happen just that way.

Let’s take a closer look at what you tell me about you and your randy husband.  Apparently he has no reservations about asking you to have a 3-way with another chick. He thinks it’ll be hot and he wants to go for it.  He also has no reservations about a 3-way with another guy, just as long as he doesn’t have to interact with the other dude.  You see, he’s pretty clear about what is a turn on for him and he doesn’t hesitate to draw you into his little adventures, does he? Do you just go along with what he dreams up so you don’t lose the big lug?  Or is there something enjoyable in it for you?  I sure hope it’s the later, darling, because we shouldn’t be doing things, particularly sexual things, under duress — either physical or emotional.  If it’s merely a question of perhaps enjoying the attentions of other woman a little too much, I think you’re entitled to that.  You could even keep this your little secret, if you wanted to.

toes-curled.jpgTrying new things can be really fun especially when your playing with people you like and are turned on to.  If you decide to go for it, I suggest the three of you start your encounter by getting a bite to eat together.  A little food and a few cocktails can be a great start to the adventure.  You’ll notice almost immediately that a 2-girl and a guy 3-way is a whole lot different than a 2-guy and a girl 3-way.  No doubt all three of you will be a little nervous, so make this part of the outing sexy fun and flirtatious.  Practice your seduction skills on the other woman.  You will soon discover the sexual hierarchy…and there always is one in these kinds of encounters.  Make sure you are comfortable with all arrangements made and make sure that they are all mutually agreed upon. If there are any ground rules, this is the time to mention them.  The more you discover about your new partner in this non-sexual environment the more prepared you will be for the rest of the evening.  If it were me; I’d want to get a sense of how experienced this other chick is at having a 3-way.  Women tend to be more accommodating in terms of bisexual behaviors than are men folk.  Maybe you could ask her about her sexual fantasies and share some of your own with her.  Just remember, you are an equal partner in this ménage.  I’d certainly make sure that the she knew what turned you on just so everyone is satisfied in the end.

I hope you write back and let me know how the encounter goes.  My interest, of course, is purely scientific, don’t ‘cha know.  But I will want all the gory details.  And a detailed photo essay would also be appreciated.  ;-)

Name: Brian
Gender:
Age: 40
Location: Canada
After a guy ejaculates can he have another ejaculation? Like after I cum if I put on a cock ring will it stay hard enough to continue with intercourse and achieve another orgasm? I basically want to cum twice in a row.

Yep, that’s doable.  All depends on your particular refractory period and how turned on you are.  Let’s take a quick look at the male sexual response cycle again, just so we understand what we’re talkin’ about.  Ok?

The sexual response cycle refers to the sequence of physiological changes that occur as wemale_sexual_response.jpg become sexually aroused and move through to afterglow. The sexual response cycle has four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. Both women and men experience these phases of course, although the timing usually is very different for each gender.  In addition, the intensity of the response and the time spent in each phase will vary from person to person and from situation to situation. That’s why I say cuming twice in a row is doable.  But is it gonna happen for you?  I guess we’ll just have to wait and see, huh?

Ok, here goes…

Phase 1: Excitement (or the boner stage)

  • Muscle tension increases.
  • Heart rate quickens and breathing accelerates.
  • Our skin may become flushed particularly on our chest and back).
  • Our nipples may become erect.
  • Blood flow to the genitals increases, thus the boner.
  • Our balls swell, our sack tightens, and we may drip precum.  Mmmm, precum!

Phase 2: Plateau (or the strokin’ or pumpin’ stage)

  • Everything in phase 1 intensifies.
  • Our balls may pull up into body cavity.
  • Our breathing, heart rate and blood pressure increase.
  • Our toes curl, face contorts and hands clench.

Phase 3: Orgasm (or the “yabba dabba doo” stage)

  • Involuntary muscle contractions begin.
  • Blood pressure, heart rate and breathing excelerate.
  • There’s a rapid intake of oxygen.
  • Muscles in the feet spasm.
  • There is a sudden, forceful release of sexual tension.
  • Rhythmic contractions of the muscles at the base of our cock result in the ejaculation of spunk.
  • A “sex flush” may appear all over our body.

Phase 4: Resolution (or the “I need a nappy” stage)

  • During this phase, the body slowly returns to its normal level of functioning, and the parts of your body that swelled and engorged return to their previous size and color.
  • This phase is marked by a general sense of well-being, enhanced intimacy and, often, fatigue.
  • Most women are capable of a rapid return to the orgasm phase with further sexual stimulation and may experience multiple orgasms.

Men, on the other hand need a recovery time after orgasm, this period is called the refractory period.  This doesn’t have to be the end of sex.  Like you suggest, a cockring may prohibit your dick from going soft.  But don’t count on an immediate second orgasm, even if your dick stays hard. Don’t forget, the duration of the refractory period varies and is situational.  It will also increase as we age.

Good luck ya’ll

Fa la la la la, La la la la

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Product Reviews!

REVIEW #27

Hey sex fans,

Holy mackerel!  It’s Week 3 of our Holiday Extravaganza.  Did you somehow miss Week 1 or 2 of this lollapalooza?  Shame on you!  Check out Reviews #25 and 26.  You’ll be so glad ya did.

The Dr Dick Review Crew has our review apparatus workin’ overtime.  We want to get as many reviews out there before the end of the year.  Because we certainly don’t want to leave you hanging…as it were.  This week, we have yet another hot juicy load of swell holiday gift giving ideas for you.  And guess what?  They are all GREEN.

This week’s Review Crew include:

  • Jack & Karen — Reviews #17, 18, 25
  • Joy & Dixie— Reviews #6, 12, 16, 17, 18, 23
  • Me, Dr Dick — Reviews #1 – 5, 7 – 10, 12, 14, 15, 19, 21, 25, 26
  • Glenn & Hank — Reviews #4, 16, 17, 18, 23. 24
  • Gina & Kevin — Reviews #4, 13, 16, 17, 18, 23, 24

First up we have two brilliant wooden insertables from my very good friends at Jildos; The Art You Love To Touch! Jildos are American made, hand-crafted works of art.  They are produced by a company called: WoodPeckers Roost.  Can you stand it?  They are made from the most durable, safe materials available and they are GREEN, oh so GREEN.

Hart $69.00

Joy & Dixie introduce us to Hart.h_020804.jpg

Joy:  “I’ve had a hankerin’ for a wooden dildo for ages.  I’ve admired them online and even held a few in my hands at our local sex emporium.  But nothing compares to owing one and having it inside you.”
Dixie:  “That is so true. Hart is simply beautiful. It’s made of exotic Bocote wood, which gives it a very distinctive striped appearance.  And besides it’s beauty it is as functional as all get-out. It has a long, smooth shaft that allows you to enjoy deep penetration using either end.”
Joy:  “Yeah, and it’s a ‘double header’ too. There is a ball at one end that is ideal for G-spot (or P-spot) stimulation.  But it also has a more traditional head on the other end, which is followed by 4 ridges.  I love my dildos ridged!”
Dixie:  “I agree, I love the rippling sensation too.  And I like that it’s size is not overwhelming.  It’s 10.5” long, but it’s only 1.25” in diameter at its widest point.”
Joy:  “We spent a lot of time trying it every which way.  And it is safe to use with all kinds of lubes.  We are partial to silicone-based lubes and because Hart is so naturally smooth, a very little bit of lube goes a long way.”

Read more of this review here

Whimsy $69.00

Glenn & Hank introduce us to Whimsy.wh_020820_0.jpg

Hank:  “We have a more manly sized Jildo Dildo. Then do the girls.”
Glenn:  “I just love that name!  ‘Honey, can you please pass the Jildo Dildo?’”
Hank:  “I know, and we don’t even have to christen this one, because it comes with its own name — Whimsy.”
Glenn:  “It’s a nice 1.5” wide and a bit shorter, at 10”, than Joy & Dixie’s Hart.”
Hank:  “I don’s suppose we have to repeat all the stuff that the girls said about lube, care and cleaning, do we?  Good!”
Glenn:  “Yeah, but we should describe it better.”
Hank:  “Oh, ok!  It’s made of American Cherry wood.”
Glenn:  “Think of it as cherry pie on a stick.”
Hank:  “You are such a dork!”
Glenn:  “You love it!”
Hank:  “Our Whimsy is also a ‘double header’. One end is rounded.  Think prostate stimulation…or G-spot stimulation. The other end is bullet shaped.  There’s a combination of swirls and ridges, which deliver a variety of sensations with the old in and out.”
Glenn:  “Mmmm, in and out!”
Hank:  “Have you ever met a hornier bastard?”
Glenn:  “I’m an unapologetic power bottom; what can I say?  And when Hank works my ass with Whimsy, I’m in pig heaven.  And this thing warms to my body very fast.  It’s like totally awesome.”

Read more of this review here

Keeping with today’s GREEN theme we’ve got a couple of delicious products from a little company in Vancouver, BC called Hathor Aphrodisia.

Lubricant Pure 4 oz $18.00 CAD

I, Dr Dick, have the distinct pleasure of introducing you to Lubricant Pure. I am so fond of this mighty-mite of a company from right here in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.  What a joy it is to bring their products to your attention.

aphrodisia-group-shot-sm.jpg

Ya’ll know my passion for GREEN adult products, right? Hathor Aphrodisia is a boutique company that brings us only a few choice products, but each one is a work of love.

Lubricant Pure is an exceptionally fine personal lube.  It contains pure botanical emollients including Horny Goat Weed, Jujube Zizyphus and Siberian Ginseng, which are supposed to have aphrodisiacal properties.  Can’t honestly say I noticed any difference in my sexual response cycle.  But as my granny used to say, ‘It couldn’t hurt!’”

Read more of this review here

Lubricant Lickeurs — Coconut Orange        4 oz $22.00 CAD

Lubricant Lickeurs — Coconut Orange 4 oz $22.00 CAD

Gina & Kevin introduce us to Lubricant Lickeurs from Hathor Aphrodisia.

Gina: “I’ve never been one for flavored lubes. The whole concept seems silly to me. But I also don’t like the taste of regular lubes. They taste funny. Basically, I just avoid, as much as possible, coming in oral contact with any lube. So when we were asked to review Lubricant Lickeurs I said to myself, ‘Oh ick!”3-lubricant-lickeurs-sm.jpg
Kevin: “I was of the same mind as Gina. I mean, how juvenile? By the way, I love the natural taste of Gina’s pussy, like fresh out of her panties. I suppose it helps that she vegan. Her juices are naturally sweet and I can eat her all day long.”
Gina: “He sure is talented in the department, I must say. There was a time that I was uncomfortable with him doing oral on me, but now I love it. It helps that it isn’t a chore for him. It’s taken me probably as long to warm to the idea of giving oral to Kevin too. But now I’m such a bad girl that I don’t even give it a second thought.”
Kevin: “Actually, she’s a natural-born cocksucker. She just needed to liberate herself from all the Catholic school repression.”
Gina: “But enough about us; back to the Lubricant Lickeurs. Neither one of us wanted to disappoint the good Dr, so we agreed to try it.”
Kevin: “And damn if we both don’t absolutely love this stuff.”
Gina: “Yeah, so much for our natural prejudices, huh? But I must say, Lubricant Lickeurs is a grown-ups version of flavored lubes.”
Kevin: “It’s like Hathor Aphrodisia didn’t simply make a lube and then try to flavor it as an afterthought with some artificial flavoring.”

Read more of this review here

To continue this week’s GREEN, and I might add YUMMY, theme we veer toward the food end of the spectrum. Jack & Karen introduce us to the delicious, yet oh so helpful, teas from the good people at Intimate Teas.

My Maple Cookie 12 bags — $32.00

Karen: “This is so cool. I’m a big tea drinker. Never been one for coffee, but I do know my teas. And since I’m a naturally hyper kinda gal, I try to avoid caffeine as much as possible. These teas are delicious and they are herbal.”maple-cookie-full-product-page2.jpg
Jack: “I, on the other hand, am not a big tea drinker, but I agree; these teas are good. There’s an earthiness to them that I really liked.
Karen: “First up today is My Maple Cookie. I love it; what a name. This tea is a unique blend of premium herbs specially formulated to change the female genitalia and male semen to smell and taste like maple cookies. How fun is that?”
Jack: “Who would have guessed something like this was even possible. I have to admit, it’s the damnedest thing. Karen and I shared the tin of 12 tea bags over a 10 day period. We both noticed a difference in the way we smelled and tasted. Don’t get me wrong; I love the natural taste of she and me, but this is way fun.”

Read more of this review here

Jack: “Next up we have Screaming O tea. The Intimate Teas people get high marks for the clever names and the packaging.”
Karen: “They sure enough do! This tea is a premium blend of unique herbs made to increase sexual passion in both women and men. It is supposed to be an aphrodisiac, sexual stimulant and it’s supposed to intensify orgasms.”screaming-o-full-product-page3.jpg
Jack: “That’s what it says on the website. I was dubious…at first. I figured, I already have intense orgasms, do I really need to improve on that…even if it’s possible?”
Karen: “Things are much different for us gals, but I think you know that already. I felt like the tea really did stimulate me. And maybe it was only wishful thinking, but I felt my orgasms intensified too.”
Jack: “Again, I defer to my lovely wife. One thing for sure; this tea is a stimulant. The first time I had this tea was near bedtime. I thought, a nice cup of warm tea will make me sleep like a baby. NOT! I tossed and turned all night long. But I did have a raging boner in the morning. I don’t know if those two thing are connected, but they did follow one after the other.”

Read more of this review here

Cum All Ye Faithful

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REVIEW #26

Hey sex fans,

Holy cow!  It’s Week 2 of our Holiday Extravaganza.  Did you somehow miss Week 1 of this amazing panoply?  Shame on you!  Check out REVIEW #25 if ya did.

As you know, the Dr Dick Review Crew is throwing our product review apparatus into high gear.  We want to get as many reviews out there as possible before the end of the year.  We certainly don’t want to leave you hanging…as to what is hot and juicy in the holiday gift giving department, don’t cha know.

This week’s Review Crew include:

  • Tag — First Posted Review
  • Me, Dr Dick — Reviews #1 – 5, 7 – 10, 12, 14, 15, 19, 21, 25
  • Angie — Reviews #12, 16
  • Christa — First Posted Review

First up is Tag, who introduces us to two glass dildos from Don Wands — The Cobalt Blue Smooth Vibrating Glass Wand and the Pink Nubby Rocket.
Cobalt Blue Smooth Vibrating Glass Wand $79.99

My name is Tag and this is my first published outing with the Dr Dick Review Crew. Dr Dick and I go way back, but that’s another story all together.

cobalt.jpg

The Cobalt Blue Smooth Vibrating Glass Wand is waterproof and like all glass dildos it’s hypo-allergenic, nonporous, ultra-smooth and very durable. I really appreciated the fact that the first set of batteries (2 AA’s) were included in the package. There’s nothing I hate more than bringing home a battery-operated toy only to discover that the batteries are not included. There oughta be a law against that!

Anyhow, I’m no stranger to glass insertables. In fact, I have an absolutely stunning one that DD gave me last spring. It’s hard (no pun intended) not to make a comparison between the first one and these two. But before we get to that, let’s evaluate the two Don Wands glass dildos on their own merits.

Read more of this review here

Pink Nubby Rocket $29.99pink.jpg

Tag: I almost got myself off with ‘Big Blue’, when I happened to look over and see the slightly more petite pink puppy waiting to take me for a ride. I carefully released my grip on ‘Big Blue’, clamped down to stem the tide of my building orgasm and turned my attention to the Pink Nubby Rocket.

Actually Pink Nubby Rocket isn’t so little. Approximately 7 ” in length and 1″ in diameter; this rose-colored dong features a nicely curved shaft with a whole lot of nubbies. It has a nice base to hold on to for pumping in and out and directing the head to your P-spot (or G-spot).

Read more of this review here

Next, Angie and I introduce three delicious products from the oh so creative people at Earthly Body — A Massage Body Candle — Naked in the Woods, an Edible Candle — Watermelon and an Aromatherapy Candle — Melt Away.

Aromatherapy Earthly Body Candle — Melt Away 6 oz. $15.99

One of the best things about being Dr Dick is sharing the bounteous melt-away-hi-res.jpgproducts sent to me for review with my Review Crew.  It’s like bein’ friggin’ Santa Claus all year long.  Despite my exceptionally big heart there are always some pangs of envy as I see a product I covet go off to a new home in the hot little hands of one of my posse.  Generosity is so bittersweet.

I had the damnedest time trying to choose among these Earthly Body products.  Each one is a mini treasure.  But since I am an avid practitioner of massage and bodywork I chose the Aromatherapy Earthly Body Candle — Melt Away as my keeper…

Read more of this review here

Heart-Shaped Massage Body Candle — Naked in the Woods 6 oz. $15.99

Edible Candle — Watermelon 4 oz. $15.99

Angie: I couldn’t agree more with the Dr D! I was thrilled when asked to round-massage-med-res.jpgreview these two candles — the Heart-Shaped Massage Body Candle — Naked in the Woods and the Edible Candle — Watermelon. They are scrumptious.

I have very sensitive skin, so I have to be very careful what products I use. Initially, I was concerned that fragranced products, like these, would not sit well on my skin. So I decided to visit the Earthly Body website and do some homework before my first use. I was delighted to learn that all their products are vegan and nontoxic.

My first use was right after my bath. I lit a candle, which fragranced the room while I enjoyed my bath. Naked in the Woods has a light earthy sent with just a hint of pine. the Edible Candle — Watermelon is…well all edible-watermelon-candle-hi-res.jpgwatermelon-y. Is there such a word? Depending on my mood, I had a choice between earthy and fruity. By the time if finished my bath, there was enough liquefied oil to generously moisturize my legs. This is a much finer oil than what I usually use, so much more silky.

Read more of this review here

And now for something completely different!  Our next line of products will be introduced by a newcomer to the Review Crew — Christa.

Here’s the thing.  The exceptionally irreverent and downright blasphemous folks are Divine Interventions have cum up with a line of exquisite silicone insertables.  You say; “Ok Dr Dick, we loves us some silicone dildos!”  Yeah, everyone on the Review Crew said the same thing.

But not so fast, since these remarkable insertables are fashioned in a most unorthodox manner (to say the least) no crew member had the audacity to take them on.  That is until Joy turned me on to her 20-something goth-chick pal, Christa.  She was like totally down with the whole sacrilegious concept, as you will see.

Diving Nun $59

Christa here!  I can’t believe that you’re just gonna fork over three totally nun.jpgbitchin’, top of the line, high-grade silicone toys, like for free.  And the fact that these babies skewer the whole religion thing makes ‘em even hotter.
So ok, I can see where these are not for everyone.  People are so fuckin’ uptight about shit like this.  But like I said, that only makes them more of a turn on for me.

Take the Diving Nun for instance.  This is a no nonsense dong, 7-3/4” tall with a 1-3/4” diameter.  This will fill you up.  It comes in lots of hot colors.  Mine is appropriately virgin Mary blue.  What’s so great about this particular dildo is that it has a suction base.  It’ll stick to the floor, if you’re takin it up the ass or to the wall if you wanna hands-free pussy-fuck yourself.  Now, that’s what I call versatile!  I had my way with this thing in the shower the other day and I’m still walkin’ funny today…

Read more of this review here

Baby Jesus Butt Plug $35baby.jpg

I saved the Baby Jesus Butt Plug for my sub, butt-boy BF, Alex.  He is like this total ass whore.  I was the first girlfriend he ever had that fingered his hole and played with his prostate.  Now it’s ‘fuck me, fuck me, fuck me’ all the time.  This butt plug is perfect for keeping him stuffed and horny so that he gets me off a bunch of times before he does himself.  And I can just lay back and enjoy.  If you have an ass-hungry man in your life, or you are ass-hungry yourself and you’d get off even more by shovin’ an icon where the sun don’t shine; this is the plug for you…

Read more of this review here

Jackhammer Jesus $65jack.jpg

The ultimate in blasphemy!  Ever get in the mood to go like all Linda Blair in the Exorcist?  Frankly I hadn’t ever thought about it till I discovered that my Jackhammer Jesus is a silicone crucifix with a beautiful dickhead at the foot of the cross. Then all manner of wickedness crossed (no pun intended) my mind.

This beauty rivals the Diving Nun in size, 7-1/2” tall by 1-3/4” diameter. It’s not as versatile as the Nun, because it doesn’t have a suction base.  But Jackhammer Jesus is even more twisted…

Read more of this review here

I’m Shocked! —— Part 1

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REVIEW #22

Hey sex fans,

Its time to crank things up a notch (or ten)!

To all of you out there who have been writing in to tell me (us) how much you like my (our) product reviews — the Dr Dick Product Review Crew and I say THANK YOU!

To all of you who have been writing in and asking me (us) to please review some stuff for hardcore perverts — the Dr Dick Product Review Crew and I say THANK YOU and WILL DO.

Of course this later group of my audience has been under served.  So far the Dr Dick Review Crew hasn’t ventured very far from the whole vanilla thing.  As much as we’ve loved the products we’ve reviewed so far, one can hardly accuse us of being particularly edgy.  But that ends today.  In fact, the next few reviews will be decidedly on wild side.  And since where we’re goin’ is pretty unfamiliar territory for most of my audience as well as some of my Review Crew, we’ll also be doing some sexual enrichment and education to accompany the reviews.  Think of it as a little kink tutorial.

We begin with Part 1 in this series that will focus on the exceptional products from the very edgy and oh so pervy folks at Paradise Electro Stimulations, PES.

While we all know the joys associated with vibration (just look at how many vibe products we’ve already reviewed), fewer of us know the intense pleasure/pain associated with erotic electro stimulation; or, as those in the know call it, e-stim.

However, that may be changing.  All the evidence out there points to a growing number of people experimenting with e-stim.  The majority of them, 70% or so, use these products for orgasmic pleasure play.  A minority, 30% or so, use the products as part of BDSM, or pain play.  So I guess ya’ll can see how a product line that is this versatile will inevitably enjoy a richly deserved commercial success.

But wait a minute; I can see that I’ve lost a good number of you.  “What in the world is he talkin about?  I never heard of erotic electro stimulation.  What the hell is that?”  Ok, so here’s where my sexual enrichment/education tutorial will come in handy.

Electro stimulation is basically the administration of shocks of electricity in nonconvulsive doses.  The medical industry has been using e-stim for decades mostly for the alleviation of pain and to enhance muscle function.  (TENS unit)  Leave it to the truly creative perverts among us to repurpose this concept to deliver excruciating erotic pleasure and/or delicious erotic pain. And even the most vanilla among us already know that there is often only a very fine line, if there is a line at all, between pleasure and pain.

Electro stimulation enhances nerve impulses providing very different sensations from those produced by a vibrator.  Vibrators can only stimulate the surface.  Electro stimulation merges with one’s natural electrical body impulses to nerve endings.  This triggers enhanced arousal and intense orgasmic response. Ya simply can’t match this intensification using a regular vibrator.c063.jpg

The primary product we well be reviewing over the next few weeks is the PES Power Box (C063) $260.00

Optimally designed to enhance your body’s natural erotic response, the PES Power Box delivers low frequency electrical stimulation to the nerve and muscle tissue in your genital area through a the use of an extensive line of PES Electrodes.

The PES Power Box also allows one to adjust the frequency and pulse rate to attain precisely the desired stimulation.

…full review here


Who knew?

Name: Nola
Gender: female
Age: 42
Location:  Springfield
My husband and I only have masturbation sex because he say’s he can’t feel me anymore when we make love. He says he still loves me, but he says I’m very loose down there.  And I know why too.  We have three wonderful boys — 12, 9 and 6.  All were big babies and all three were vaginal births.  And I don’t think I ever rebounded afterwards and now that I’m older, well things are not like they used to be. Is this the end of sex for us?

A very common complaint, Nola; I write and talk about lax pelvic musculature a lot on this site and in my private practice.  Sure there is hope for regaining muscle tone, and it’s not particularly difficult to achieve.

Let’s start with a bit of an anatomy lesson.  You have several pelvis floor muscles the one we’re most concerned with is called the pubococcygeus, or the PC muscle.  It supports and holds in place the internal sex organs for both women and men.  —Pay attention men, the following exercises can whip your PC muscles in shape too.— It’s attached to the front of the pubic bone and goes all the way around to your butt hole. When one’s PC muscle is taut and toned, a contraction can be felt all over the pelvic area — cock, cunt, clit and ass hole.  So you see how important this muscle is to performance as well as pleasure for both women and men, right?

Still don’t know which muscle I’m talking about?  Ok, try this — while taking a pee, abruptly stop and start the flow of urine.  Can you do it?  Lots of women and some men can’t.  As you suggest, birthin’ babies is pretty traumatic to your pelvic musculature.  These muscles lose tone with each successive delivery (not to mention the impact the aging process has on our muscles). If you can’t abruptly stop the flow of pee, then you’re gonna have to find the PC muscle another way.  Try this, stick a couple fingers inside your pussy and squeeze.  You may have to insert more than two fingers to find what you are looking for. But when you feel pressure around your fingers, you’ve hit the mark.

Consider this, if you are using more than two fingers to find your PC muscle, you can understand why your hubby ain’t gettin the friction he needs to get off through fucking, right?

kegel-exercises.jpg

Ok, so let’s work on some exercises that will tighten things up down there.  These exercises are commonly called Kegel Exercises. You need to spend 30 minutes a day at this (twice a day would even be better).  And I want you to commit to this regiment for two weeks.  If you can’t commit this kind of time; then yes, you can say good by to fucking your husband ever again. If your sex life is important to you, you WILL find the time to do your kegels.

While lying on your back, or reclining propped up with some pillows, start by relaxing everything except your vaginal muscles. This will take some doing, so be patient.  Remember, you have 30 minutes to fill.  Insert your fingers in your pussy, and clench your PC muscle.  You’ll want to LIFT UP while you do this, not bear down. If you’re tightening your abs, squeezing your legs together, clenching your butt, or holding your breath then you’re not exercising the right muscle.

I want you to work on both muscle strength and tone.  With fingers inserted, start with five strong prolonged squeezes (5 seconds apiece).  Squeeze, hold — 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 — then relax.  Then do a series of 10 rapid contractions in a row. Doing three sets of these two types of Kegels during your 30 minutes a day is your goal.  If you’re tightening your abs to finger your pussy, consider inserting a dildo instead.

Let’s go over that one more time.  Start with five strong prolonged squeezes (5 seconds apiece). Squeeze, hold — 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 — then relax.  Then do a series of 10 rapid contractions in a row.

When you’ve accomplished this you’re ready to increase the set to eight or ten prolonged squeezes and 20 rapid contractions in a set.  The advanced Kegeler is able to vary the type and duration of her PC squeezing; slow prolonged clenches to quick flutters. And, darling, this doesn’t have to be drudgery.  Add some up-tempo dance music and tighten and release your PC muscle to the rhythm.  You will naturally vary the exercises and have way more fun too.

Hey, want to kick things up a notch?  Combine you PC Exercises with jilling off! energie.jpgThat’s right, darlin, throw yourself a screamin meme of an orgasm as you’re exercising.  This is where a nice vibrating dildo will come in handy.  You may find that you’re more likely to attend to your exercise regime if there’s pleasure involved.

Throw in some patterned breathing and pelvic rocking with your exercises. Rock your pelvis up, exhale and squeeze the PC tight. Squeeze, hold — 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 — then inhale, drop your hips back down and relax the muscle. Once you get the hang of this, reverse the exercise. Inhale while rocking forward and exhale while dropping back.

One final suggestion, check out the Natural Contours Energie Kegel Exerciser.  You can read all about this marvelous doohickey by going to the Product Review Page and look for Review #16

If you follow my instructions for this two-week exercise course, you will notice a marked improvement to your pelvic muscle tone.  Won’t the hubby be surprised when you invite him for a fuck and he finds the taut and toned pussy of a woman half your age.

Name: Leo
Gender: male
Age: 25
Location: Miami
I am a 29yr old light skinned latin male, very healthy. Being latin, my skin has…well…you know…that tan color. Over the past 2-3 years I have been seeing these lighter color, almost white spots evolving on my penis and butt and thighs and elbows.  It began with just one small spot on my penis, and over the years I got a more spots around the rest of the area. It’s to the point that I’m too embarrassed to have sex. It looks like the whole area down there is transforming into big ugly blotches. It definitely does not look healthy.  Do you know what this is?  Do I have some kind of sexually transmitted disease?

You appear to be describing vitiligo, a dermatological condition where the skin, vitiligo55jpg.jpgoften in the genital area, loses its pigment.  This is not a disease, let alone a sexually transmitted infection.  It’s a condition and it’s not all that uncommon. When you lose pigment, it leaves islands of white skin surrounded by your natural skin color, tan in your case.  It’s kinda like a Palamino horse.

Medicine doesn’t know a lot about vitiligo.  What is known for certain is that it is not contagious. It appears to be an acquired condition and may appear at any age, but mostly before 40. Genetics may play a part, as there is an increased incidence of vitiligo in some families. Vitiligo is more noticeable in darker skinned people because of the contrast with the white patches against dark skin. It seems to occur more often among people with an autoimmune problem. The depigmentation can be progressive for some people, although not everyone.

In terms of treatment, there aren’t any to speak of.  Some claim modest success with a repigmenting agents or immunosuppressant medications.  Some people, like Michael Jackson, go to great lengths and extremes to compensate for this condition.  Obviously, this is not advisable.  I mean, just look at him.  I just can’t see how his untreated vitiligo would have been any less scary than what he’s transformed himself into?  But that’s just me.

For most folks with vitiligo, myself included, our best bet is to make peace with our uniqueness, leave it alone and move on.  I’ll admit it takes some getting use to, since the appearance of our skin is so tied with our self-esteem.  But, those of you in my audience who regularly read my column, or listen to my podcasts, know that shit happens to our bodies.  Birth defects, aging, disease processes, amputations, vitiligo7.jpgscaring, disabling accidents and disfiguring surgeries are all part and parcel of being a human.  Those who successfully move through their problems and find their self-worth in a more holistic appreciation of themselves enjoy a fuller, richer life, which includes a full and rich sex life.  If you need help pulling this together for yourself, Leo, support is available online.  Just search for vitiligo support.

As for your sexual partners and the questions they might have; why not just be upfront about what’s goin on?  Simply say you have vitiligo.  It’s about pigment, not performance.  And then show ‘em what ya got, baby!

Name: Peaches & Herb
Gender: couple
Age:  30-something
Location:  Washington DC
We’re a hip, 30-something couple and we’re looking for a little adventure.  We want to throw a sex party.  We know several couples who we think would be interested in joining us.  But we’re not sure how or where to start.  What do you suggest?
PS: Peaches & Herb are not our real names.

You don’t say!  I would have never guessed! Peaches & Herb, indeed.

Actually, P&H, I hesitate to offer any suggestions, because it sounds to me like you guys are complete amateurs when it comes to swinging, if you are swingers at all.  Throwing a sex party for a bunch of straight folks is not like hosting Sunday orgy7.jpegbrunch, where all that could go wrong is serving an unsuitable wine with the quiche. A poorly planned sex party can be a catastrophe and destroy friendships and make instant enemies.  If I were you, I’d start planning my own party only after I attended several other parties hosted by folks who know what the fuck they’re doing.

But to give you the benefit of the doubt I’ll offer a the these suggestion.  First, I’d begin by asking myself what kind of party do me and the little woman want to host?

A sexy party — attendees dress in provocative outfits — lingerie and the like, get all liquored up, play naughty games, like “Truth or Dare” which evolve into group make-out session — where few risks are taken and nobody gets hurt if things go badly.

A sex party — attended by out and proud swingers.  Here the agenda is obviously sex, but there are a shit-load of very important things to consider before the invitations go out.  More about this in a minute.

An orgy — a no holds bared, check your cloths at the door, full-on sex extravaganza.  This is kind of gathering is not for the novice.  In fact, it’s more a gay sex party option than a straight sex party option.  The reasons I believe this are coming up.

Whatever kind of party you choose, you’ll want to carefully consider the people you invite.  It’s a good idea to always have some instigators on your list.  You know, the folks who will be the first to make out, dance and shed their cloths.  Established swingers are always a good choice for this.  They’ll be less inhibited than the newbies.

Do you desire an equal male/female ratio? Couples only? Singles only? Straights only? No single men? Will you allow for bisexual expression, specifically the male-on-male type?  Will you allow kink?  Or will this be a vanilla party?

If you’re thinking of inviting relative strangers, you might want to consider screening them in advance. You’ll want to make sure the prospective guest will fit in with the others on your list.

Where’s the shindig gonna be held?  Your home, a rented space, a hotel suite?  If all goes well, the party will probably be loud and nude, so consider your neighbors and neighborhood carefully.  Wherever you host, designate some areas as sex areas and some areas as rest/neutral/no-sex areas.

Will you serve adult beverages?  If you do, how much is too much?  Will there be food?  Probably if there’s booze, there ought to be at least some food, right? Even if it’s simply powerbars and gaterade,

Music is very important to setting the mood.  The wrong music — there goes the party.  Your play space must be clean and warm with plenty of places to freshen up in.  That will necessitate soap and water and lots of fresh towels.  Muted lighting is essential, at least in some of the areas. Throw pillows are good.  Vinyl sheets are practical.  Or have your guests donate a set of clean sheets to the festivities. You need to realize that it will be a mess everywhere your guests fuck, what with all the lube and bodily fluids and the like.  And there’s always gonna be accidents like orgy08.jpgspills, smells and skid marks, if you catch my drift.

Speaking of which, have lube, condoms, and latex gloves, baby wipes and what have you in every room you designate as a play space.  Nothing sets the mood like some classy pornography playing in the background. Have your guests turn off their cell phones.  And I’d also consider having a definite arrive time.  No one admitted after a certain hour.  New arrivals can ruin a mood, unless you’re sure they will blend in and get down to business immediately.

Sex party etiquette is essential.  A lot of this will depend on the kind of party you’re hosting and the type of people you invite.  But you should insist that your guests behave themselves…in a smutty sort of way…of course.  Guests should be polite.  No means NO!  I would discourage guests who might just want to attend for the show.  There are no bigger turn-offs than a lecherous gawker or an uncomfortable wallflower.  Permission to join a grouping is mandatory.  And a sense of humor is always appreciated, just so long as it doesn’t bust the mood.  And finally, safe sex ought to be a must!

Good luck ya’ll

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