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Tricks Of The Trade — Part 1

A friend of mine, who is writing a book about male sexuality for women, asked me if I could be her go-to-guy for a bunch of questions she had about pleasuring a man which she wants to include in her book. I think it is only fair that you, my loyal audience, should get this information before anyone else does.

What would, in your esteemed opinion, be your five hot tips for giving a great hand job?

First, there are 10, not 5. Hand jobs are too important for just 5.

Most men love a good old-fashioned hand job. Here’s the deal with a lot of us folks who own a dick. We first become acquainted with the pleasure our cock can offer through handling ourselves. And when it comes right down to it, there is rarely a mouth, pussy or ass that can compete with the variety of stroke and firmness of grip that a hand can provide. Simply stated, the humble hand job is the ideal way to pleasure your man. Just remember, even though jerkin off your guy isn’t particularly exotic, as far as sex acts go, it never has to be boring for you or him.busy masturbating

1) I am of the mind that a brilliant wank begins with a first class lube. Many guys swear by silicone-based lubes for this purpose, but a hand job connoisseur will probably have his very own favorite. Start off with just enough lube to make things slick, you don’t want to over do it. Get a feel for his johnson and what you have to work with. Skillfully draw back the skin of his rod toward the root of his dick till it is taut. This is much easier to do on uncut men, but even most cut men will have some skin left for move.

2) Tell your dude how much you like his meat. A hand job is a perfect time to marvel at the work of art before you. Feel free to uooh and ahhh a lot. Your man will get off on you admiring his unit. For, as we all know, a hard man is good to find. Can you wrap your fingers around the base of his unit and get a good grip there? If not, you’ll want to consider a cockring for this purpose. if you use a cockring, you’ll free up both your hands for what’s to come.

3) Now that you got yourself a really nice boner goin’, get between his legs. Take his cock between the palms of your hands, interlock your fingers and guide your hands up and down his shaft. Your thumbs should be on the underside of his dick, so that on each stroke up and down, you hit his frenulum with the pads of your thumb. Now with his cock still between your palms, rub your hands together, like if you were warming them. This will provide a great new sensation for your guy.

cock,schlong, dong4) Hold his cock in one hand and with the well-lubed palm of your other hand, slowly move it in nice lazy circles all over his dickhead. This is a particularly delicate procedure, especially if your man is uncut. His dickhead will be super sensitive, now that he is fully aroused. And don’t forget, if you are using a cockring, his pecker will be even more engorged than usual, making it hypersensitive. Be sure to ask for feedback on this move. If he finds this too uncomfortable, move on to something more pleasurable. Here’s a tip: us men being who we are will, no doubt, already be giving you directions on what to do and how to do it down there. So all you have to do is follow his lead. Remember, he knows his way around his joint better than anyone.

5) Don’t forget to service his nuts. Since a guy’s jewels are less sensitive to touch than his dickhead, you can manhandle them a lot more. Squeeze and tug and even gently slap those babies to your heart’s delight. While you are doing that, and with his dick flat against his belly, shimmy the heel of your hand up and down the underside of his cock. You see how you are incorporating different sensations and movements all at the same time? Keep this up and your man will be putty in your hands, no pun intended.

6) Interlace your fingers and make a tight passageway through the palms of your hands. Pump up and down his shaft this way. As you get to the top of his cock close the passageway even tighter. Then make him squeeze his way in as you slide back down to the bottom. Then with one hand rapidly following the other in only a downward stroke, make like a perpetual penetration tunnel. This will make his eyes roll back in his head in ecstasy.titty fuck01

(This might be a good time to incorporate other parts of your body besides your hands. Most men get off on a titty –fuck. Cozy his cock between your boobs and have him hump away. You can also use your feet in the same fashion. Lots of guys can really get off fuckin’ a chick’s (or dude’s) feet.)

7) Now, back to the hand job. Rhythmically stroke only his rod. Watch as his dickhead swells and turns red or even purple. Once it’s bright red, use your fingertips on the tip of his dick like you are turning a doorknob, first to the right, then to the left. Lightly at first, but slowly increase the pressure till he begs you to stop. Now you got him right where you want him.

8) Here’s where things can get really interesting. When he’s least expecting it, move one of your hands down past his nuts and taint. You know what a taint is, don’t cha? That’s the patch of skin between his balls and his asshole. It got its name from taint ass and taint balls, ya get it? Anyhow, once past his taint you’ll find his rosebud. With a well-lubed finger massage his pucker. If this is virgin territory for your man, he’s in for the thrill of his life. Continue to stroke both his cock and asshole. Don’t be afraid to try and push your fingertip past his sphincter. If he lets you inside, you will have access to his prostate. But even if he doesn’t, massaging the outside of his hole will bring him very close to an explosive conclusion.

9) If you’re ready to finish him off, so to speak, pick up the pace of your stroke. He will be breathing heavily now and he’ll look down over his chest at the miracle happening between his legs. Tell him to throw his legs in the air and spread them as far apart as possible. This will add considerably to the muscle tension that you’ve already built up. And a thunderous orgasm is all about muscle tension.

Now bring this puppy home. Lick his balls, finger his hole and beat his meat. Insist that he keeps his feet in he air and his legs splayed. Momentarily, he will begin to quake with building mini-orgasms. He will no doubt try to buck himself to conclusion, but don’t let him. For the moment you’re in charge down here, not him. Tease him one last time as he nears ejaculation. When he’s almost there, suddenly stop what you’re doing. This will, of course, drive him crazy. And don’t resume your stroking till he begs for it.

It will probably only take a few more strokes before he gives up the spunk. Keep your face, or at least your eyes, out of the way, because when he finally blows it will be explosive. If you’ve toyed with him for any length of time, you will have built up quite a load and it will shoot in spurts till he is empty.

10) His cock will be hypersensitive after he cums, so be gentle.

 

ANAL PLEASURE AND THE PROSTATE

1. “Male G-Spot” clarification — we’ve heard the prostate referred to as the “male G-spot,” but we’ve also heard the frenulum given the same name. Which is it? Or is this term not appropriate for either one?cake & sodomy

Male G-Spot more appropriately denotes the prostate, definitely not the frenulum. However, let’s be grown up about this and skip the unnecessary comparison between the G-Spot and anything in the male anatomy. Because that’s like saying a clit is a female penis. If we must use shorthand for the prostate, try P-Spot.

2. How should a woman go about finding and petting the prostate?

  • First, trim your fingernails and file them smooth. And before you start playing with a man’s hole have him relax.
  • Take a relaxing shower, a warm bath, and/or try some deep breathing exercises will help him do that.
    Have a ready supply of a water-based lube handy. Silicone-based lubes are swell for these exercises too. However, this type of lube isn’t recommended for use with a condom.
  • Start with a nice hand job. Stroke his dick with your lubed hand to get him into his happy place.
  • Gradually slather some of that lube on to his balls and taint. While his legs are open find his hole and play with his rosebud. Gently massage the area around his asshole, but don’t side your fingers in just yet. Simply let him get used to the feelings of playing at the opening of your ass.
  • Let your play include the tip of your finger entering your ass.
    If you do this while you’re stroking his cock, you will find that his hole will actually open and invite your finger. That’s the great thing about pleasuring one part of your body while learning to pleasure another.
  • Once he’s comfortable with your fingertip inside, try pushing it in further and move it around a little. Try pushing it and pulling it out of his ass. Ya know, like finger-fucking your man.
  • About an inch or so inside your man’s ass, move your finger in an upward motion along the wall of his rectum. You’ll discover a round bulb of tissue the size of a walnut — this is his prostate.
  • It shouldn’t be hard to find, particularly if your man is all horned up. It will feel smooth and hard, like a flat stone.
  • Give that puppy a nice gentle massage with your fingertip. If you’re still stroking his wood, don’t be surprised if this prostate massage gets him off. In fact, you will find that his prostate actually enlarges a bit and becomes more firm just as he is about to shoot.
  • As he cums you will also notice that his sphincter muscle will tighten around your finger and pulsate with each squirt.

3. What’s the best position to put the guy in to do this?

body as art5821Your man should be on his back, while you face him between his open legs. This gives you access to cock, balls and asshole.

4. Should a girl be worried about hurting her lover while playing with his prostate?

If you go slow and are gentle, there’s nothing to be concerned with. Don’t forget to ask for feedback. And if you want to know what he is feeling, finger your hole first.

5. In your experience as a sex therapist, do you find that straight men are wary of letting their female partners explore anal play?

Oh yeah, big time! Straight guy have it in their head that ass play is gay. I always respond that would be true if only the gays had prostates.

6. If so, how would you advise a woman to address or overcome any homophobic paranoia her partner might have in regards to anal play?

This is a very delicate issue. The best a woman can do is invite him to experience the new sensations. Anything more than that can backfire. If she is too insistent, or tries to shame him into it, the guy’s fears will quickly become a phobia.

7. In your experience, is male vulnerability a factor in anal play, and if so, is there anything a woman should do or say to psychologically care for her lover?

Oh yeah! Like I said above, ass play is often associated with gay sex. The best thing a woman can do is watch some hot butt sex porn with her man, where the dude is on the receiving end of things. These are called pegging vids. Then there are How To Videos like TRISTAN TAORMINO’S EXPERT GUIDE TO ANAL PLEASURE FOR MEN.  Check out Dr Dick’s How To Video Library for loads more titles.

Look for PART 2 of this series on Friday, October 10th.

The Lady Is A Tramp

Name: Paul
Gender: Male
Age: 32
Location: Seattle
I recently discovered that my GF has been cheating on me. She wants me to forgive her but it’s been really hard. Just dealing with the fact that it happened is overwhelming. It feels like I could never forgive her. I don’t know if there’s a solution or not. I know I still love her but the truth is I feel dirty being around her. It also makes me feel stupid for putting up with this and letting it happen in the first place. I feel like a total sap. I’d love any advice you could give me.

Before we turn to chastising your vixen girlfriend for her behavior, let me make a quick observation about you, Paul. You sure are a ball of contradictions, aren’t you, darlin’? How can you say that you love a person who makes you feel dirty and stupid? Simply put, you are deceiving yourself about one or the other of these emotions. And pardon me, but there’s no way that what you describe here can be love. An obsession, heart sick, wounded pride, sour grapes…absolutely. Love…ahhh, not so much! So stop saying that you love this woman, Paul, it’s just adding to the confusion.

your cheatin' heart

Here’s a tip for us all. Let’s, each of us, promise, right here and now, to save the “L” word for those feelings that are a little less desperate and debilitating, OK? Because if we don’t reserve the “L” word for feelings that are uplifting and life-affirming then we will bandy it about, like Paul here.  Let’s try not to over-use the term  to describe any and all our fixations. If what we are experiencing tears us down instead of building us up, then it ain’t love no how, no way. Period!

Ok Paul, I ’m gonna try not read too much into your brief statement, but there appears to be some important information here that we should consider. When you say your girlfriend…“is been cheating,” that suggests to me that her indiscretion may have been ongoing. Because you could have said…“she cheated on me,” which would imply a one-time thing.

And what an interesting word choice “cheat” is in this context. This makes fidelity sound like some kind of sport, or that you own something of another person. I don’t think fidelity is sport, nor do I think it is always a genital issue. Lots of couples are faithful to one another even though they have open relationships and/or multiple sex partners. But I digress.

Since you can’t supply me with more of the gory details, Paul, I’m gonna go with the first option. I’m gonna assume you’re telling me that your GF has been doin’ you wrong and it’s not a simple…“Whoops, I don’t know what came over me. One minute I was like all normal, and the next there I was with my dress over my head and some guy, other than you honey, was bangin’ me like there was no tomorrow”…sorta thing, OK?

Since I don’t know how deep or exclusive your relationship with your girlfriend is or was supposed to be, I can hardly advise you on what you ought to do next. I can, however, point out that a secret ongoing affair suggests the trouble with your relationship runs pretty deep. Maybe your girlfriend has you pegged as a sap, and she knows that you will tolerate her indiscretions. Which in turn, gives her permission to do carry on in whatever manner she might like. Maybe she doesn’t think that your relationship with her is all that substantial in the first place. Who knows!

Hey, I don’t suppose you have a cuckold fetish, do you?  Imagine the fun you could have with that.  But again, I digress.

If you’re not a total sap, and you’re serious about reigning in your wayward GF, you’d better come up with a clear, unambiguous message about what you will and will not tolerate in the future. Until you do that there’s no point in even imagining there might be a future.

If, on the other hand, the two of you did agree to live in an exclusive relationship, and she’s still taking her business elsewhere, then I suggest the bond between you is pretty busted. Is there something salvageable here? Your guess is as good as mine. What is perfectly clear is that both you and your girlfriend need to step back and take a sober look at yourselves. There is a reason for her behavior, just like there’s a reason for your response. To get to the bottom of all of this both of you will need to invest a good deal of time and energy, most likely with a professional therapist, and hope that the bank of goodwill between you, if indeed there is a bank of goodwill between you, is enough to carry the day.  However, if I had to guess from the tone in your message, I’d say there was precious little goodwill left. If so, why not be a man about it. Just call it quits and move on. No recriminations necessary.

Good Luck

Don’t Try This At Home

And now for a couple of very disturbing questions…

 

Name: Abe
Gender: Male
Age: 31
Location: NV
what will happen or is there any side effect if i put a single ball in the ass, but won’t come out?

Abe: let me ask you a question: Do you think your rectum was designed to hold man-made spherical objects? Leading doctors say NO.

All kidding aside. What the fuck were you thinking? Were you loaded on some substance or just bored to death? And why didn’t you include your email address so that I could actually respond to this pressing inquiry in a timely fashion?

By now you’ve either shit out the ball or you took your sorry ass to the hospital to have it removed.

Sex fans, NEVER, and I do mean NEVER put anything in your ass that you don’t have tethered to something that will not be going in your ass. You’re just asking for serious trouble if you do.

dont-try-this-at-home

 

Name: Sandy
Gender: Female
Age: 45
Location: California
During sex, I got an object stuck in my rectum. It went past the small outlet in the top of my anal cavity. To be honest, I’m scared. I cannot “fish it out.”  It is up past the holding area. We were using a hangable broom handle (plastic), which has a tip on it for hanging. I keep a rubber on it so it won’t come off in me, well the rubber broke; the lube I used caused the breakage. So what can I do? The tip/cap/hanger thing is as wide as a broom and about a half inch deep, but has the capability to act like a suction cup if it gets stuck. Next time I will make an air hole so it cannot get adhered in me. But how can I get it out? I have no insurance, so I cannot go to the DR. Help!

Sandy, I sincerely hope you haven’t been waiting patiently by the computer all week waiting for my response.

Again, this person didn’t include her email address with her query, just like Abe above.

This distresses me no end! There are so many things wrong here; I simply don’t know where to start. You’re 45 years old and yet you don’t know better than to fuck yourself with a broom handle? Holy cow! And you are using an oil-based lube while you have your broom handle, with its plastic hanging doohickey rapped in a latex condom? My god, teenagers know better than that.

And what is this about NEXT TIME you’ll make an air hole so it cannot get adhered in you? Are you completely out of your mind? If this one extremely embarrassing, if not downright dangerous stunt hasn’t taught you a lesson; then I suppose there’s no hope for you.

Like said to Abe above — By now you’ve either shit out the thingy in bum or you’ve taken your sorry ass to the hospital emergency room to have the object removed.

NEXT!

Sonic Boom

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday! And this week we welcome yet another new manufacturer to our review effort, Revel Body.  They’ve come up with an interesting new product that they think you’ll like.

So I invited Dr Dick Review Crew members, Kevin & Gina, to take a closer look and they’re here to share their thoughts with us.

Revel Body Sonic Vibrator —— $129.00

Kevin & Gina
Gina: “Hello again! Kevin and I were just discussing how much we enjoy reviewing new and innovative products. There is just so much sameness everywhere you look these days; it’s so depressing. So much of what we see in the adult products marketplace is cookie cutter and thus kind of boring.”Revel Body002
Kevin: “We’ve become less and less interested in doing reviews of products that look like and perform like stuff we’ve already reviewed.”
Gina: “We were just saying to each other how much we prefer to review products that, one can immediately see, have been designed and manufactured by creative people thinking outside the box. In fact, we would choose to review those products, even if those products didn’t quite hit the mark, than something less creative and innovative.”
Kevin: “Yep! I have so much more respect for people who try something different and unique, even if it fails; than I do for people cranking out more of the same.”
Gina: “And this brings us to today’s product, the Body Sonic Vibrator by Revel. This is no ordinary vibrator, no! It’s sonic, and that’s a game changer. Your run of the mill vibrator uses a rotary motor, but the Revel Body Sonic Vibrator employs a revolutionary magnet-driven pulsing action that is nothing like the sensations delivered by a traditional rotary motor. Everything about this marvel is interesting. It’s orb shape fits comfortably in the palm of your hand. Its ergonomic controls are easy to operate. And it’s remarkably quiet. Despite its diminutive size, the vibrations are not transferred to your hand because there is only one moving part. The pulsing nub attachment on the end of the piston delivers pinpoint stimulation where and when you want it.”
Kevin: “The Body Sonic Vibrator is 100% waterproof. That’s the real submersible kinda waterproof, not that ridiculous splash proof kinda “waterproof.” It’s also rechargeable, which makes this a mighty GREEN machine.”
Gina: “The Body Sonic Vibrator is designed for external stimulation. The unique spherical shape, 8.25″ around, offers two means of stimulation—the protruding pink pad on the front side of it, and the concave indentation on the other side.”Revel Body003
Kevin: “Gina already mentioned that the Body Sonic Vibrator is magnet driven. That’s revolutionary, but it’s not without its concerns. The removable piston, the only moving part, is a very powerful magnet; it’ll attract anything nearby that’s metal. The hole through the vibe is also magnetized. This is potentially an issue for some people and other electronics. So much so that the Body Sonic Vibrator comes with a warning that it NOT be used or handled by persons wearing implanted or wearable electronic medical devices like pacemakers. And keep the magnets away from electronic storage devices including laptops, cell phones, and credit cards.”
Gina: “This is super important to remember when recharging the unit. It comes with a USB/plug recharger cord. So have a care if you are recharging near your computer. I decided to error on the side of caution and not risk damage to any of my electronics so I plugged the recharger into the wall, not my computer.”
Kevin: “The Body Sonic Vibrator comes with three unique attachments — Rose, Ever, and Fawn. (Two other attachments—Cona and Niko—can be purchased on the Revel site.) To remove the attachment, put your finger in the hole on the back of the toy and press on the piston. There will be resistance because of the aforementioned magnets, but it will pop free easy enough. Switch out your attachment; bring the piston close to the opening of the vibe and after a bit of resistance it will snap in place. It’s so cool.”
Gina: “Speaking of the piston motion, you have to be careful when using the Body Sonic Vibrator around body hair—pubes, chest hair, beards, hair on your head. I mention this because Kevin was using it on his temples to help with a headache and some of hair got pulled by the piston action.”Fawn
Kevin: “The Body Sonic Vibrator is covered in velvety, latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic silicone. And all the pink attachments are made of silicone too. Of course this means that you can only use a water-based lube with this vibe. Because it is waterproof and made of silicone it’s easy to clean. Mild soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. But you can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize for sharing.”
Gina: “The Body Sonic Vibrator charges on its magnetic charging base, which features the USB cord and wall adapter that I already mentioned. Be sure that the contact area on both the unit and its base is dry before charging. I charge ours after every use.”
Kevin: “The Body Sonic Vibrator has a 3-button controller—power button, and a (+) and (-) button. The controls are easy to use with just one finger. There’s a. The memory-setting feature allows you to start at the same intensity as when it was last used. This is great because it eliminates the need to cycle through all the settings to find your favorite. I really like the one button on/off feature and it’s travel friendly too.”Ever
Gina: “There are 10 “vibration” levels. I put the word vibration in quotes because the sensations the Body Sonic Vibrator are different than my traditional vibrators. On the lower settings the piston moves in and out more slowly producing a wonderful tapping sensation. You can even see the piston moving in and out. But on the higher settings the piston moves so fast that you can’s see the motion. These settings produce a buzzing sensation as opposed to the tapping sensation. I much prefer the lower settings to the higher settings. In fact, levels 6 thru 10 seemed pretty much the same to me. I also prefer the Fawn attachment to the other two.”
Kevin: “I agree with Gina, the slower settings provide more stimulation and I prefer that. Gina already mentioned me using the Body Sonic Vibrator on my head. I’m prone to migraine headaches and the tapping sensation on my forehead between my eyes and at my temples is fantastic. The best therapy for my headaches is a hot bath and the sensations the Body Sonic Vibrator provides.”
Gina: “Here’s something really innovative; you can reverse the piston so that the attachment is protruding from the indented side of the unit. The thing is, I actually prefer this configuration to the other. Like Kevin, I use the Body Sonic Vibrator most often in the bath.”
Kevin: “The vibe works best when very light pressure is applied. A heavy touch dulls the sensations.”Revel Body001
Gina: “A few words about the packaging…the Body Sonic Vibrator comes in an handsome yet understated box. There’s a slipcover over the box that features an image of the unit and some basic product information. The top of the box lifts off to reveal the vibe cradled in a plastic tray. The charging base and instructions are in a pocket under the tray. It’s a very nice presentation.”
Kevin: “Gina and I liked just about everything about the Body Sonic Vibrator. I was sold on the innovative design, it being rechargeable, and waterproof.”
Gina: “I was less impressed with the higher frequency settings than I though I’d be, but the lower frequency settings are perfectly fine for me.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

A Boy’s Own Pleasure

Name: Caleb
Gender: male
Age: 22
Location: USA
I just watched some porn videos and in one of the movies a guy actually blew himself. I thought, DAMN! How do I learn how to do that?

Autofellatio, or self-sucking is every man’s dream, Caleb. Of course, if all of us men folk could blow ourselves, there’d be no good reason for anyone of us to ever leave our house.yoga

According to the Kinsey Report less than 1% of males can lick or suck their own cock. Obviously, suckin’ is more difficult than lickin’, because the guy’s gotta fold himself over to a greater degree to get more of his unit in his mouth.

Did you know that there is archaeological evidence for self-administered blowjobs in Egyptian hieroglyphs? That’s right! According to researcher David Lorton, “Many ancient texts refer to autofellatio within the religious mythology of Egypt. The sun god Ra is said to have created the god Shu and goddess Tefnut by sucking himself off, then spitting out his spunk into the ground.” Yeah baby, give me that old time religion!

Successful self-sucking is dependent on two things — having a big enough dick and being limber as all get-out so you can pretty much bend in half. Every guy can do something about his flexibility, but none of us can grow his dick longer. That’s why this behavior remains a fantasy for the vast majority of us.

If you want to suck your own cock it’s a good idea to begin with expanding your range of motion, by becoming more limber. Concentrate on stretching exercises that will help improve the flexibility in your legs, lower back, upper back and neck.

Begin by stretching out your legs. While lying flat on the floor, with your legs fully extended. Lift each leg in succession. Take hold of your calf or thigh and pull your now bent leg toward your chest. Hold this for 15 seconds, release, breathe deeply, and repeat five more times. Once you’re able to do one leg at a time, work on doing both legs at once. Be careful not to over stretch, you don’t want to pull a muscle.

autofellatio-34028Next stretch your back and neck. While lying flat on the floor, clasp your fingers together place them behind your head and slowly roll yourself up while your hold your chin to your chest. This will be exactly like doing a crunch, only completely different. Hold these stretches for 15 seconds apiece, release, breathe deeply, and repeat five more times.

Once you’ve mastered these stretches to the point you can pert near fold yourself in half, you should be getting close to being able to lick your own dick…if it’s long enough, that is.

While lying flat on the floor place, roll yourself up, legs to your head and place your knees, one at a time, on either side of your head so you’re looking at your crotch and your pud is pointed towards your lips. Don’t forget to breathe through these stretches. And be sure to come out of the stretches real slowly; you don’t want to pull a muscle.

Now wrap your arms around the back of your knees and pull your dick closer to your mouth. If it’s meant to be, this is how it will happen. If it’s not meant to be it won’t. But don’t despair, all those stretching exercises you’ve been doing will make you a much better lover because you will be much more limber for sexual gymnastics with a partner.

Good luck

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