Search Results: Meth Roa

You are browsing the search results for Meth ROA

Basic Sexual Positions For One And All!

I would like to offer another of my Sexual Enrichment Tutorials. This one is titled: Basic Sexual Positions For One And All!

I’m forever hearing from folks who need a little help with the whole sex positions thing. You wouldn’t think this would be such a bugaboo for so many; but it is. Is it a fear of the unknown? Is it a lack of creativity? Or is it simply a “but we’ve always done it this way” mentality? Whatever the cause of this woeful lack of sexual know-how, Dr Dick is here to spread the good news that you can and ya oughta try something new every now an again.

We will be looking at several positions today — nothing too advanced, mind you, just some basic things you can try that might solve some of the nagging problems I hear about on a regular basis. And here’s the deal — most people are up for at least this amount of sexual experimentation. And who knows where this little adjustment could lead? You may find that if you open the door to change by experimenting with a different position or two, ya’ll could be on your way to lot of other adaptations in the future. And experimentation is the very best way to prevent your fucking from getting boring.

Ok, so we’re all well acquainted with the so-called “missionary position,” right? This is the man on top, woman on the bottom position, just the way god likes it. Or the way the Christian missionaries thought it should be when they discovered lots of pagan folk were having way too much fun with all those exotic positions.

Despite it being much maligned, the good old missionary position is swell if you like face-to-face fucking. And that’s never a bad place to start. This position allows for a lot of physical front-to-front body contact including kissing. Lots of folks like this position because of intimacy it provides. I hasten to add that this isn’t the only position that allows for face-to-face fucking, but I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself.

The downside of this position is it can be a whole lot of work for the partner on top, while being really confining for the partner on the bottom. This is especially true if the guy on top is of the jumbo variety. It also isn’t the best position for the woman if she’s fucking a guy with a big dick. Men obviously love this position because it gives them easy access to their partner’s tits. It’s not so pretty good if he wants to get his hands on her clit. But since most guys have a fairly good idea what to do with a pair of knockers, and are often perplexed with what to do with a clit, this is fine with them. Unfortunately, this position can leave a woman woefully unsatisfied.

A couple could vary things a bit by having the woman sit on the couch, legs spread with her man on the floor on his knees. This way he could happily plug away at her without weighting her down. Also the guy won’t have to balance himself with his hands while looming over his woman, as in the missionary position. This will free his hands to roam all over his partner’s body. Just think; with a little luck he could actually stumble upon the woman’s clit. And wouldn’t that be a red-letter day for all concerned? This position can be hell on one’s knees, however.

The opposite of the traditional missionary position is the “woman on top,” or “cowgirl” position. This is a sweet position for a chick mostly because it allows her to fully control the speed and depth of her man’s thrusts.  All the woman has to do here is climb on her man while he lay on his back. With her legs to either side of his hips, she can easily access his cock for a nice hand job before she guides it home. Since she’ll be able to move up or down his body at will, she can direct his dick at her clit and use it like a dildo. This is also a great position for anyone who wants to experiment with ass fucking. And all the while the man will still have free access to his partner’s boobs, so you know he’ll be as happy as a pig in shit.

There’s also the “reverse cowgirl, which is exactly like the “cowgirl, only completely different. In the reverse cowgirl position, the chick faces away from her man. He gets to admire and slap her ass and pull her hair. The woman, on the other hand, gets complete access to the guy’s johnson and his family jewels. Women, feel free to give you guy’s huevos a nice squeeze and don’t forget to tug on them too. Men generally do this while they’re jerkin off, so he’ll already be familiar with the sensations. Ya see, most men get off on ball play big time. Once the guy is inside of the woman in the position, his wang will hit the back of her vagina as opposed to the front. Lots of women like this because of the very different stimulation it provides.

If you’re lookin to stay with a more traditional style consider the benefits of spooning. It’s kinda like the missionary position, except you’re both on your side. Right away you can see the benefits of that, huh? He can still wrap you up in his big burly arms and even throw a leg over you for that complete sensu-round sensation. You can spoon face-to-face, or back to front. This makes for an effortless fuck. So much so that couples have been known to doze off mid screw in this position. Perfect for when lovers are too pooped for an athletic pop.

Then there’s the ever-popular “doggy style,” or “rear-entry” position. This is well suited to both pussy fuckin and ass fuckin. In this position the bottom will be on his/her knees face down, while his/her partner takes him/her from behind. The best part of this position is the freedom you’ll both have to use your hands. If the woman is on the bottom, she can prop herself up with one hand and still have the other free to diddle her clit or grab her man’s nuts between her legs. If the man’s on the bottom, he can take it up the ass with relative ease. If the woman is on top she can grab her partner’s hips and peg him with ease. If the man is on top he can hold on to his partner’s hips with one hand and still have the other to manhandle her hooters. What this position might lack in face-to-face intimacy it makes up for in vigorous fun.

For a sweet gentle fuck a woman could try sitting in her man’s lap. He’s seated in a chair, or cross-legged on the floor, while she sits astride his lap. She can mount him face-to-face, or with her back to him. This position doesn’t allow for whole lot of athletic thrusting, but it’s fantastic for some delicious slow rhythmic rocking. And the top partner will be able to set the rhythm. Both partner’s hands will be totally free to tweak one another’s nipples. Or the woman could guide his hands to her clit and show him what’s up down there.

Lastly, there the good old fashioned stand up position. This is particularly appropriate for those desperately horny moments that allow for only a quick, zip-less fuck. If the man is a strapping lad, he’ll have no problem sweeping the little woman off her proverbial feet and planting his boner inside her. This will take a bit of balance and stamina, particularly on the part of the dude, but these overheated hormonally driven fucks won’t last very long, if ya catch my drift.

Remember, you don’t need to stick to just one of these positions per screw. You can mix and match and change positions at will. You can even make a game of it. One of you could decide upon the position while the other of you determines the type of movement, angle of penetration, rhythm and speed.

Now, go forth and be creative, why don’t cha already.

Sex Therapy—What Is It and Who Needs It? – Part 2

(Look for Part 1 of this series HERE!)

Of course, there are plenty of individuals—and couples—who haven’t waited until the last minute to seek help. These people want to be proactive about their concerns. Some people simply need some clear, unambiguous information about human sexuality. A surprising number of people are trying to piece together their sexual lives, but are hampered by misconceptions and misinformation.

Sometimes a momentous event motivates a person to address arising sexual or intimacy issues. The birth of a child, a disease process, a death in the family, or an accident can fundamentally alter the power dynamic of a relationship, which will require a rethinking of the entire relationship.

Or perhaps someone comes to a new realization about him or herself: Perhaps they are finally able to acknowledge their bisexuality, or that he’s gay, or she’s a lesbian. Maybe they are finally able to acknowledge a fetish—he’s a crossdresser, or she’s into another kink. Things like this obviously impact the individual, but if that person is in a relationship, the relationship is also affected. People in these self-revelatory situations are often unsure how to talk about their discoveries with a partner, which is another reason they seek counseling.

Some couples don’t fret when the sex vanishes from the relationship; other couples are devastated. What does one do when one partner still has sexual needs, but the other doesn’t? Often, there are unexplored options that can hold the relationship together, but will address the disparity in sexual interest and desire.

In this case, I can help the couple make compromises without losing their moral compass. Some couples navigate this with ease; others not so much. It can be extremely challenging, but there are ways to preserve what’s sacred about a primary relationship, while contemplating opening the relationship to include others. I can help a couple establish guidelines and ground rules for making the necessary adjustments.

Sometimes the relationship is really wonderful and fun. The couple really loves each other, but they’ve noticed their sex life together is pretty boring and stale. I’m often approached to simply help a couple spice things up. In this instance, my work is sheer joy. Mostly, I just give them permission to experiment and have fun.

You’ve probably noticed that a good portion of the work that I do as a sex therapist is merely giving permission. That may not sound like therapy at all, but when you consider that our sex-negative culture is so full of prohibitions; permission giving is often the front line of sexual rehabilitation. Most of the permissions I give are for an individual to educate him or herself about his or her body and his or her sexual response cycle. Personal exploration, such as masturbation, is the very best means to that education. I’m a huge proponent of partners masturbating together.

Happily, our need to reacquaint and reeducate ourselves about our bodies and our sexual response cycle is a life-long process. There is always something new to explore. As we age, our bodies change, and if we don’t keep up with those changes, we can become frustrated and disoriented. Older people, menopausal women and andropausal men, take longer to build up “a head of sexual steam,” so to speak. If they’re not attuned to the changes they’re going through, they can easily miss the important cues their body is sending to slow down and enjoy the sensuality.

Of course, I could go on and on, but now I want to leave you with what is the distillation of years my thinking about the role sexuality plays in our life:

I believe that sex is like food. We can enjoy it alone, or with others. We can be abstemious, or gluttonous. We can nosh or nibble; dine or devour. And we can be certain there will be both times of feast and famine.

Sex is like food. It can nourish and sustain us, or it can make us sick. We can consume all the available bounty, or restrict our diet. It can completely satisfy, or leave us devastatingly empty. We can employ it to express our highest aspirations, or allow it to rob us of our soul. We can give it as a gift, or use it as a weapon. It can be both bacchanal and sacrament.

One thing is for sure, whether purely physical or transcendentally spiritual, no one can live without food…or sex.

Got a Sex Question?
You’ve come to the right place.
Contact me here: questions@drdicksexadvice.com

No time to write?
Give Dr Dick a call.
(866) 422-5680
Toll Free — Voicemail — HOTLINE

Would you like to talk about your sexual concerns, feelings, lifestyle or experiences?
Arrange for a consultation HERE!

Either way, you can be assured of my complete discretion.

Sex Therapy—What Is It and Who Needs It? – Part 1

I’m often asked about my work as a sex therapist. I’m surprised at how few people have any sense of what a sexologist does. While I can’t speak for all my fellow therapists, I can tell you a bit about my own practice.

Most of the work I do is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): short-term, goal-directed and personally liberating (I don’t believe this kind of therapy should become a lifestyle). Basically, I suggest that people with sexual issues change the behaviors that contribute to their problems as a surefire way to solve them. I try to give my clients all the tools they need to successfully work things out on their own once the therapeutic intervention is over. This approach doesn’t fit everyone; however, 99.9 percent of the people I work with respond positively.

I encourage my clients to give themselves permission to investigate their sexuality. This in turn assists them in taking charge of making themselves feel better and/or perform better. And as soon as they do, they almost immediately have a greater sense of wellbeing. Like they say, nothing breeds success like success.

Once we identify an area of concern, my client and I create a plan of action for them to implement. I believe the more an individual is part of their own healing process, the more productive that process will be.

Sadly, I find that fewer and fewer people are willing to give their sexual issues the attention they deserve. Rather than investing the time and energy to get to the bottom of their issues, many opt instead for the quick fix—the “Give me a pill for that” mentality. They’re often unwilling to make the necessary lifestyle changes to actually solve their problems. For example, I encounter people who are eating themselves to death, or abusing alcohol or drugs. Of course they have the accompanying sexual response issues—erection problems for men and arousal concerns for women. They may desperately want to resolve these issues, but without committing to any change in behavior—i.e.: “I want my erection back, but I won’t stop drinking”—such interventions almost always ends in disappointment.

Sexual dysfunction of one sort or another is the issue I see most recurrently in my practice, although the reason why a client reaches out varies. Sometimes an individual’s tolerance level peaks, and they finally decide to do something about an issue that may have been smoldering for years. Sometimes it’s a partner who brings in their proverbially “broken” partner, telling me to “fix him/her.”

Couples often seek sex therapy together, as sexual problems tend to be more obvious within relationships. However, by the time the couple comes for therapy, the issues have most likely been plaguing them for some time. The relationship often comes close to ending before the couple agrees to address the problem. For example: Say a guy brings his wife in because she’s “frigid,” whatever that may entail. They’ve been married for X-number of years, and he’s finally had it. She, on the other hand, doesn’t want to be in therapy, because she doesn’t really think there’s anything wrong with her. She just doesn’t want to have sex anymore, and she doesn’t want to discuss it. Period.

This is a difficult way to start therapy. Resentments are high and frustrations rage. If the couple does continue, we usually discover that there’s also something desperately wrong with the husband. Inevitably, we ascertain that he’s an ineffectual lover—and his inability to pleasure his wife is the root of her “problem.” It’s often painfully clear that he knows little (if anything) about his wife’s sexual needs or desires. Meanwhile, the wife has never had permission to know her body, so she’s unable to help or direct him. As you can imagine in a case like this, there’s a load of remedial sex education that must come before anything else is resolved.

Couples also seek therapy when one spouse has cheated on the other. The “cheat-ee” declares, in no uncertain terms, that this therapy is the last-ditch effort before “the end of the road.” Often in such cases, it’s too late for a successful intervention, because each partner is so angry and shamed that the chance of turning the situation around is slim. Sometimes the best we can do is end the relationship with as little acrimony as possible.

In difficult couple counseling situations like this, my first effort is to get the couple to disarm. There will be no sex therapy—and God knows there is a need for sex therapy—until there is some semblance of peace between partners. If we don’t establish at least a small bank of goodwill, our efforts are doomed.

We’ll pick this up next week at this time.

Got a Sex Question?
You’ve come to the right place.
Contact me here: questions@drdicksexadvice.com

No time to write?
Give Dr Dick a call.
(866) 422-5680
Toll Free — Voicemail — HOTLINE

Would you like to talk about your sexual concerns, feelings, lifestyle or experiences?
Arrange for a consultation HERE!

Either way, you can be assured of my complete discretion.

The Heartbreak of Male Performance Anxiety

I get a dozen or so messages a month on this topic. I’ve written about it in numerous postings and spoken about it in several podcasts, but still the email comes.

One of the real bugaboos for anyone, regardless of gender, is living up to our own expectations of sexual performance. So many things can get in the way, literally and figuratively, of fully enjoying ourselves and/or pleasuring our partners.

The arousal stage of our sexual response cycle is particularly vulnerable to a disruption. And when there’s trouble there, there’s no hiding it. A limp dick or a dry pussy can put the kibosh on all festivities that we may have hoped would follow.

However, performance anxiety can strike any of us, regardless of age, and at just about any point in our sexual response cycle. This is a particularly galling when it seems to come out of the blue. And regaining our composure can be more far more difficult than we imagine.

Today we will be focusing on male performance anxiety.  I’ll address female performance anxiety at a later date.

Here’s Bob, he’s 26:
Doc, this has never happened before. But I couldn’t get it up tonight, and this chick was H.O.T. Now I’m not gay at all, but I haven’t had sex in about 3 years because I was locked up…so I masturbated pretty regularly, about 3 or 4 times a week. But I can’t figure out why I was soft… the only thing I can think of is I ate clams tonight and I’ve never had them before. Could it be that or should I get checked out?

It weren’t the clams, darlin’! And I don’t think you need to get “checked out” either…at least not right away. If you could back away from the situation a bit and stop freaking out, I think you’d discover the source of your problem all on your own.

Here’s the thing—while you were out of commission there in the slammer, you relied, as you say, on jerking off. Okay, cool. We all do what we gotta do. Now the first time you try to score after your release…you go soft. This tells me you have a mild case of performance anxiety. We all get that from time to time.

There’s probably nothing wrong with you or your johnson. You just got the jitters first time you tried to get you some after being away, that’s all.

The anticipation of boning this H.O.T. chick—fueled by some predictable self-consciousness; what with just getting out of the big house and all—pulled the plug on your wood. No surprise there, right?

What I don’t want to see happen is for you to replay the incident over and over in your mind’s eye til that’s all you can think about. If you do, this proverbial molehill will become a mountain. You’ll then bring all this anxiety to your next encounter, setting yourself up for even more disappointment. You can see how this shit can snowball? If you interpret every less than satisfying encounter as a failure, your fears will become self-fulfilling. You’ll begin to avoid partnered sex and you’ll develop a full-blown sexual dysfunction. And your self-esteem will take a nosedive, too.

If you’re preoccupied with your performance, it’s less likely that you’ll be fully present during sex with a partner. This pretty much fucks up your sexual responsiveness and any hope for spontaneity. Why not just relax into the whole sex thing and not try to prove your manhood with your pecker?

Then there’s Steve with a slightly different take on this meddlesome problem:

My partner and I have been together for just over 3 years now in a monogamous relationship. I am the top and he the bottom. Our problem is not premature ejaculation on his part, but his inability to have an orgasm at all. No matter what I try and even if he masturbates, sometimes it is impossible to get him to cum. Is this a medical issue? Have you ever heard of this?

Delayed ejaculation is the difficulty one has ejaculating even with a firm erection and sufficient sexual arousal and stimulation. This problem is not uncommon. For most men, delayed ejaculation occurs during partnered sex more frequently than while masturbating. In fact, 85% of men with delayed ejaculation can usually cum by jacking off. However, in partnered sex, the guy may be unable to ejaculate at all, or only after prolonged partnered stimulation. This problem can be very frustrating and cause distress for both partners involved, as you already know.

What causes delayed ejaculation? Well, it could be a number of things. It could be something as simple as performance anxiety, or inadequate stimulation, or there could be neurological damage.

I don’t want to be too reductionist here, but most of us experts believe that the majority of instances of delayed ejaculation aren’t physical in nature, but rather are the product of psychological concerns. Simply put, there’s a difference between the psychosexual response we have when we are alone and the one we experience with a partner. There’s probably nothing wrong with your partner’s unit. It’s all in his head…or his mind, to be more exact. If I had to guess, I’d say he’s got a real bad case of performance anxiety.

When I see this sort of thing in my private practice, I always begin the therapeutic intervention by calling a moratorium on fucking of any kind. This immediately takes the pressure off the couple. From there we begin to rebuild the partnered psychosexual response one step at a time. We begin with sensate focus training (Sensate Focus is a series of specific exercises for couples that encourage each partner to take turns paying increased attention to their own sensations. More about these helpful exercises in the weeks to come.), stress reduction and relaxation exercises. These applications are designed to reduce performance pressure and instead focus on pleasure. The idea is to get them to stay in the moment; absorb the pleasure present without worrying about what is “supposed” to happen.

Finally we address as frankly and openly as possible any fears or anxieties that they may have—as individuals or as a couple. I have the greatest confidence in this method; it succeeds over 90% of the time.

Ok, let’s recap shall we?

Overcoming sexual performance anxiety is dependent on five simple things.

  • First, a guy needs to be attuned to his sexual response cycle — arousal, plateau, orgasmic and resolution phases. He should know what kind of stimulation he needs at each phase to fully enjoy himself and satisfy his partner.
  • Second, the more worried a guy is about a performance issue, the more likely that problem will present itself. A bad experience in the past can often set the stage for its recurrence.
  • Third, don’t be afraid to talk this over with your partner. Withdrawing from your partner or shying away from sex altogether will only increase the likelihood that the problem will persist.
  • Forth, be proactive! Fearing the loss of your sexual prowess or feeling sorry for yourself is counterproductive. Confront the challenge head on. Employ sensate focus training stress reduction techniques and relaxation exercises to help you push past this temporarily impasse and regain your self-confidence.
  • Fifth, free yourself from the mindset that your dick is the center of the universe. Your manhood or your capacity to be a great lover does not reside in your genitals. Expand your sexual repertoire. Remember, pleasure centers abound in your body as well as your partner’s.

Good luck!

SEX WISDOM With Celeste Hirschman and Danielle Harel — Podcast #307 — 11/02/11


Hello sex fans! Welcome back.

I got a totally kick ass show in store for you today, my friends. I’m so stoked to welcome not one, but two very special guests to this SEX WISDOM program. Celeste Hirschman and Danielle Harel are fellow sexologists, acclaimed authors, innovative therapists and all-round fabulous people. I am so proud to share a microphone with these remarkable women.

Celeste and Danielle developed their own very unique approach to sex therapy. They are indeed among the movers and shakers in the field of human sexuality who are making news and helping us take a fresh look at our sexual selves.

Celeste, Danielle and I discuss:

Celeste and Danielle invite you to visit them on their site HERE! Look for their amazing blog HERE! Find them on Facebook HERE and Twitter HERE!

(Click on the book cover below to buy their book.)

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Hot Plus Size Lingerie.
Plus Size Lingerie

SEO Powered by Platinum SEO from Techblissonline
Get Adobe Flash player