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Vanity, Vanity, All Is Vanity

Hey sex fans!

Look, a new edition of Product Review Friday is comin’ your way. This week we bring you a toy from the Jopen Vanity line. This is actually one of California Exotics’ high-end toy lines. And California Exotics is, is as you probably know, one of this county’s oldest adult toy manufacturers.

Let’s check in with Dr Dick Review Crew member, Jada, to see what she has for us.

Vanity Vr15  ——  $170.99

Jada
When Dr Dick asked me if I wanted to review the Vr15, yet another stylized rabbit vibe, I said; “sure, why not!”

Rabbit vibes, both the traditional design and the newish stylized designs, have been a mainstay in the adult marketplace for just about as long as there has been an adult marketplace. I would love to meet the person who first came up with the design. And I would be willing to bet every dollar I have, and every dollar I ever hope to have, that the designer was a guy. Here’s why I say that.

I took it upon myself to do an informal survey of some of my women friends about their masturbation habits. I know we’re not supposed to talk about that, even with our close women friends, but a surprising number of women responded to my little survey. Of the two dozen women who responded, not one of them said that they inserted anything, not even fingers, into their vagina when they masturbate; at least not on a regular basis. It’s always all about the clit! Now I know, I know, this is not a representative sample and I suppose there are women out there who do insert something, fingers included, into their vagina when the masturbate, but I can’t help wondering what the percentage might be.Vanity Vr15

At the same time, if I were to give two dozen guys the task of designing a pleasure toy for women, I’d be willing to guess that the vast majority, if not all of them would design an insertable. Why? Because they have an insertable dangling between their legs and every guy knows where their insertable goes for pleasure. I suspect that most men can’t imagine a woman pleasuring herself without something that either looks exactly like a penis or faintly resembles one. Thus the proliferation of dildos. and their gussied-up cousin, the rabbit vibes. Doesn’t that sound a little weird to you? It sure does to me.

There is also the fact that most men frown on having their women use a phallic shaped instrument on themselves when they are having partnered sex. That doesn’t come as a huge surprise. I guess that’s why toy designers started stylizing the rabbit away from the obvious phallic design to something more like the Vr15.

So what is the Vr15 and what is remarkable about it? It’s an insertable with a “rabbit” arm, but instead of ears, there’s a tiny mouth for clitoral stimulation. It has two motors—shaft and rabbit. It’s powerful, but quiet. It’s waterproof, rechargeable and its skin is 100% latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic silicone. All those things are wonderful and add to the pleasure, but nowadays most, if not all, high-end vibes feature the same things.

Unlike other similar vibes, the Vr15 features a shaft that feels like it’s rotating under the skin, as opposed to vibrating. Remember the old rabbit designs that featured rotating beads in the shaft? It’s like that. It’s multifunctional with varying speeds. Again, all very nice, if you like that sort of thing.

It’s almost 5 inches in circumference at its widest point. The shaft then tapers towards the top and at its slimmest it’s about 3 inches in circumference. The tapered head makes for easy insertion while working your way up to that wider circumference. The total length of this toy is 8.5 inches.

I think it is important to add here that the Vr15 would work just as well as an anal toy. And because it is so easy to sanitize, (I’ll get to that later) I say why not?

The minimalist packaging, for such an expensive product, surprised me, but I liked it. It also comes with very nice storage bag.

It’s easy to use. The two-button control panel, in the handle, controls the rotation and vibration. The top button controls the shaft and the bottom button controls the rabbit. To activate the rotating shaft, press the top button once. To increase the speed, just hold it down. Press one more time to turn it off. The same is true for the rabbit, but, as I mentioned, one uses the bottom button to control it. The shaft and arm can be activated simultaneously.

The Vr15 is travel friendly because controls lock. To lock and unlock depress both buttons simultaneously for 4 seconds. That’s a very thoughtful feature.

The Vr15 has a rechargeable premium lithium ion battery. It also features LED charging and power lights.

I had some difficulty using the Vr15 on myself. It just didn’t seem to fit right. Once inserted, the “rabbit” didn’t quite connect with my clit. And if I tried to angle the vibe to attend to my clit, the inserted shaft was uncomfortable. And I don’t think I cared all that much for the rotation sensation. I’m pretty sure I would have preferred vibration.

Because it’s both waterproof and made of silicone cleanup couldn’t be easier. Mild soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize for sharing. After you wipe it down rinse in warm water and let it air dry.

Be sure you only use a water-based lube with a fine silicone-skinned toy like this. A silicone-based lube will mar the finish.”

Here’s my quarrel with the Vr15. Despite the wonderful features the price point is out of this world. There are dozens and dozens of high-end rabbit style vibes on the market. Many, if not all, offer the same features. I mean, just use the search function in the sidebar and type in “rabbit.” You’ll be presented with an array of vibes, some with traditional designs, and some with stylized designs. None of which costs $171.00.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

We’ve Only Just Begun…

Name: Donna
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Location: Salt Lake City.
I’m turning to you for help, because I don’t have anyone else to ask. My boyfriend, who is 19, and I are very much in love. We plan to marry next year. But we both want to start having sex now. We are both virgins and we think we need help overcoming the natural obstacles, if you know what I mean.

Gee, I’m not sure I know what you mean by natural obstacles. Are you talking about physical things? Emotional things? Maybe you just need a little tutorial on how to get started. I’ll try to at least touch upon all these things, but first I want to thank you for entrusting me with your concerns. I’m sorry to hear that you don’t have others in your community to approach. I guess that says a lot about the family values and community standards where you live.

teen_sexuality.jpgI have lots to say about beginning a sexual life with another person. Curiously enough the information I am about to share is applicable to both women and men and it applies to any and all sexual orientations. That’s the beautiful part of human sexuality. There is so much common ground. In fact, there is way more that we have in common than what separates us.

Ok, so here goes. Be yourselves. Let your natural feeling of affection for one another lead you. Always use a condom (This applies to penis/vagina and/or anal sex.) Be gentle; be curious; seek your partner’s pleasure before your own; and most importantly, have a sense of humor about the whole damned thing.

Just about everyone who is sexually inexperienced will also lack sexual confidence. It can be nerve-wracking not being sure what to do to satisfy your partner. Sometimes this nervousness is contagious. Your anxiety can make your partner anxious. The surefire way to get around this is to not pretend you know what the fuck you’re doing, if ya don’t. The best way to find out what to do is to ask your partner what he/she likes and how she/he likes it. If they don’t know or can’t tell you, then you can find out together with some sex play. And I do mean play, not work.1sexual_response_cycle_male

This is where our natural sexual curiosity comes in. And we all have that to one degree or another. Sexual confidence comes from knowing. Curiosity will bring you knowledge.

There will be no room for curiosity if the only thing on your mind is the old in an out. That’s why I suggest you put off full-on fucking till you get the lay of the land, so to speak. Besides, there are lots and lots of ways to pleasure yourself and your partner that doesn’t involve intercourse.

Like I said, sexual confidence comes with understanding the mysteries of our sexual response cycle. Each one of us is different and the differences are most pronounced between the sexes. If you haven’t discovered at least the fundamentals of your own response cycle through masturbation; then you’re really not really ready to gift yourself to another person just yet.

female sexual response cycleYa see, the more you know about your body; how it works; where your pleasure centers are; the kind of stimulation you need and want to come to full arousal; the more information you’ll have to pass on to your partner. Even if your partner is more experienced than you, he/she will still need to get to know the intricacies of your individual response cycle.

Sexual confidence stems from being able to please your partner. When you know what you are doing you project an air of self-assurance. This is not the same thing as cockiness, mind you, although that might be a very fun attribute to have too.

The best lovers look to pleasure their partners before they expect to be pleasured. Delaying your own pleasure, particularly if you’re a guy, so that you can provide multiple orgasms to your partner will reap great pleasurable rewards for you when it’s your turn. Besides, giving pleasure is often as pleasurable as being pleasured.

Sexual confidence translates into sexual assertiveness. Each partner should take equal responsibility for initiating sex. Trust me, this is not merely a man’s role. And sexual assertiveness translates into sexual creativity. If you’re timid about trying new things, you’re gonna short-circuit a whole lot of pleasure.black teens

Learn to ask for what you want and how you want it. Communication is key to a healthy and vibrant sex life. Never underestimate the your partner’s ability to develop and grow sexually. Check in with your partner on a regular basis. Don’t assume you know what turns him/her on today, just because it turned her/his crank the other day.

Feelings of sexual inadequacy, discomfort with your body, anxiety about your skills will destroy your sex life. If you are plagued with any of these things get help with them before your bring them to a sexual partnership.

sexual confidenceSexual confidence comes down to knowing yourself and being able to communicate your likes and wants to your partner. If you’re simply gonna be passive about your pleasure, you’ll wind up getting only what is dished out to you. And for many women, that is woefully insufficient. Don’t expect your partner to know any more about pleasuring you than you do, even if she/he has had more partners then you.

Allow yourselves the time or space you need to feed your intimacy needs. If you expect to discover sexuality with your partner in the backseat of a car, you’re gonna cum up short. Passion and spontaneity is great, but what I’m talking about is different from that. Think of it as learning to walk before you run.

Being a terrific lover is dependent on know-how. Skill comes through practice. So practice, practice, practice! Keep it fun. When it stops being play and starts being work, put it aside for another day.

Good luck

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Foreplay – Making a Meal of Appetizers

Special Valentine’s Day Workshop with Yours Truly!

When:   02/14/14 — 7PM to 9PM
Where:   Foundation For Sex Positive Culture — 1608 15th Ave W. Bldg B, Seattle, WA 98119
Who:   Anyone 18+ with ID
Cost at the Door:   $25       Advance prices:   $20 for Individuals, $35 for Couples and $50 for Triads.

Purchase your tickets HERE!

***Limited to 30 attendees.***
This workshop is open to all regardless of gender, orientation, or relationship status.

Tired of the same old in and out? Is penetrative sex boring you to tears, or worse leaving you unfulfilled? Well, I have just the thing for you. Let’s whip up a menu of spicy, tantalizing, and oh so satisfying hors d’oeuvres that will revitalize your diet and expand your sexual repertoire.you've been bad

We’ll cover a wide variety of topics, including:

  • Oral skills
  • The art of aural seduction
  • Sensual massage
  • Sensory play
  • Ritualizing your connection
  • Mutual masturbation; the key to great partnered sex at any age
  • Exploring kinks and fetishes
  • Toys
  • And so much more!

Remember, creativity and exploration is the spice of life!

There will be lots of adult product to giveaway too.

foundation-for-sex-positive-culture




High And Dry

Name: Stephen
Gender: Male
Age: 47
Location: Sacramento, CA
Dear Dr. Dick I am at the end of my rope. I am a white male, 47, 50lbs over what my Doctor would like me to weight. I am per-diabetic, with blood pressure and cholesterol just a little higher than my Doctor would like. I have been married for going on 13 years, and have a 7-year-old special needs son. And my sex life sucks.
My wife who I love dearly has chronic pain that leaves her muscles aching all the time, so the last time she and I had sex was the night we conceived our son. I have tried to take care of my needs though masturbation, but to be honest I am getting very bored with the whole idea of jerking off. Even using my hand I have trouble sometimes getting a hard on. I have managed to have an orgasm while my dick is soft, it just takes care of the itch, and it does not really satisfy me like fucking or a good slow hand job while fully hard.
I have tried using a cock ring, but I think I am doing something wrong because I don’t stay hard while using one and none of my partners has used one so I have no one to ask. I also have the problem of finding the time when I can be alone. Without my wife finding out what I am doing, because she does not approve of me watching porno, or jerking off. The last time she caught me, she did not speak to me for over two weeks.
I am trying to find a family counselor for my wife and I, but I’m having problems with finding one covered by our Insurance and one that can make appointments that will fit in with my wife’s work schedule.
I have been exploring my BI side with men I meet on the web. I am fussy because I want to be safe, and they have to have somewhere we can meet. Most married BI guys have the same problems I do, nowhere to go to have a little fun. There are no bathhouses in our area. And on top of all those problems I can only get a hard on if I use one of the ED drugs. Which my Medical Insurance will not pay for so my Doctor has been giving my free samples that he gets.
So of the five or six times a year I get to have sex, maybe one of them I will get to fuck someone. While I like being a bottom, there are times I just want to fuck someone. There are times I just want to pack up my bags and leave to find the sex life I want, but I do love my wife and son, and I don’t think leaving will make anything better.
So here I sit, I have run out of ideas, my counselor has run out of ideas. Having sifted thought most of your web site with no luck I hope that maybe you can shed some new light on this disaster of a sex life.

Do you know the phrase, “sinking to the lowest common denominator?” Well that’s what you are doing, my friend. You have precisely the sex life you permit yourself to have. You’ve boxed yourself into a corner by allowing others, particularly your wife, to dictate what you can and cannot do with your sexual energy. So there you are high and dry, as they say.

challenges aheadI appreciate the fact that your wife may have medical issues that might prevent her from joining you in the vigorous sex life you desire. But if that’s where you leave the discussion then you are getting precisely what you deserve.

I realize you’ve committed yourself to your wife through thick and thin, in sickness and in health. But in the absence of a marital sex life, you’ve discovered new and uncharted areas of your own sexuality. This volatile combination will either be destructive or regenerative.

I have one real simple premise that I live by. And that is, each of us has a right to a happy, healthy, integrated sex life. If there is something that is getting in the way of achieving that, whatever it might be, it is a problem that needs to be addressed immediately.

As far as relationships go, particularly a marriage, I am of the mind that we ought, first and foremost, work to honor our commitments of fidelity and mutual support. Are there ways that these two moral principles — a right to a healthy sex life and one’s marital commitments — can coexist when one’s relationship excludes the possibility of happy sexual expression? Yes, I believe there are. And many couples achieve this balance, because they have an overriding love and concern for one anther.stubbornness

Now the facts — not all loving relationship, including many marriages, have a sexual component. Many, for one reason or another, simply don’t. In fact, most long-term relationships are not sexual in nature. However, a partner in loving relationship who is unable to provide sexual satisfaction to his/her partner should give the languishing partner permission to find sexual fulfillment outside the relationship. I hasten to add that these are often very difficult negotiations to hammer out. But to do less than try to make these accommodations is, I believe, a form of sexual abuse.

If what you report about your wife’s revulsion to even you sexually pleasuring yourself is accurate, then you have a very hard row to hoe. Trying to negotiate a satisfactory solution to your dilemma is all the more difficult when one of the partners is opposed to even discussing the issue. This is where a good counselor will come in handy. (If you would like to consult me, see the Therapy Available tab under the About Dr Dick page in the header of my site.) If your therapist is not up to helping you bring this issue to the fore, then you’d better look elsewhere for the help you need. If this issue is left unattended you will continue to sink to the lowest common denominator. You will continue to be unhappy as you skulk around looking for stray cock in unsavory places. And I have a sense that you are not being totally upfront with me about your extracurricular activities. Simply put, you do yourself and your marriage a greater injustice with this kind of reckless behavior than risking the dissolution of your marriage by engaging your wife in an honest search for a healthy solution to your problems.

solutionsThat being said, I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess that you’ve already made up your mind about the direction you intend to go. I suspect that you will continue to explore your nascent bisexuality through these furtive liaisons with men you’ve been meeting. I also assume that, divorce is not an option, at least not in an up-front sort of way. The sad thing here is your wife is unable to join you in coming up with a viable solution to the problem at hand, because she is being kept in the dark about your dalliances.

I am not suggesting that you deny your sexual needs just to appease or pacify your wife. Nor do I condone deceiving your wife about your true self. These options will only create a divide between you and your wife that will never be bridged.

If you ever hope to escape the corner you’ve painted yourself into, you’ll have to buck up and be honest with your wife. Looks like you have your work cut out for you, my friend.

Good Luck

Best Adult Products List For 2013

We interrupt our winter holiday to bring you this special edition of Product Review Friday.

 

On this last Friday of the year, it’s time to announce this year’s Best Products List. We have only four categories this year — Best Product or Toy for Men; Best Product or Toy for Women; Best Product or Toy for couples; and Best Lube or Lotion. Unfortunately, this past year we didn’t get to review any kinky toys, so we had to drop the category: Best Kinky Product or Toy. I hope we make up for this woeful situation in 2014. Come on, kinky toy producers, show us what ya got!

We reviewed some amazing adult products and toys this year in all the remaining four categories. So coming up with the very best in each category was a bit of a challenge. But despite the difficulty we completed our list and here are members of the Dr Dick Review Crew to reveal the winners.

First up is Jada with The Best Product or Toy for WomenG Vibe —— $99.99.

(Curiously enough, Jada had the honor of reviewing the best product or toy for women last year too. You go Jada!)

Jada
I am delighted to be the one to bring you news of a truly remarkable and inventive new vibe. It’s called the G Vibe and it comes from a company called Fun Toys. Well, my friends, no need to beat around the bush; I’m smitten.

G Vibe02The G Vibe looks like no other vibe I’ve ever seen. It looks as though someone took a regular insertable vibe and sliced it down the middle, producing two forked tongues, each of which vibrates. The two tongues are ultra-flexible and the whole vibe is covered in the most deliciously soft and velvety 100% medical grade silicone. And that makes it, as you probably already know, latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic. It’s the dream material for insertables. The G Vibe comes in several colors, mine is rose.

Embedded in the handle of G Vibe is a hard plastic ring, with a metallic finish. This allows you to slip two fingers (index and middle) into the handle so that your thumb is perfectly positioned on the three-button control panel. When activated the buttons light up. It is super-ergonomic and clearly lovingly designed.

Speaking of the control panel, it’s among the easiest I’ve ever used. The top button is marked with a “+.” This turns on the vibe and accelerates the intensity of the vibrations from mild to wow! The middle button marked with a wavy icon rotates through the six vibrating modes. The lower button is marked with a “-.” This decelerates the intensity of the vibrations and turns the unit off.

The G Vibe is about 9.5” long, with an insertable length of about 6”. The girth of a single tongue is approximately 2.5” and the girth of the two tongues together is about 4.5”

Each of the tongues of the G Vibe has its own motor. And the flexibility of the tongues is what makes it so versatile. Squeeze the two tongues together to insert the shaft of the vibe. Of course, the tongues separate once inserted. The two tongues delivers a sensation of fullness without stretching the entrance of your vagina. This makes for lovely G-spot stimulation. Insert one tongue and maneuver the other tongue to your clit. Or slip the G Vibe over your clit or nipples in a clothespin like fashion. Or use the tongue tips to tickle and tease anywhere on your body or your partner’s body. Let your imagination and your creativity guide you to find all the possible uses and pleasure techniques. Look to the pamphlet that is included in the box for inspiration.
Full Review HERE!

Next up is Brad with The Best Lube or LotionSPUNK Lube Hybrid (8 oz) —— $15.00

Brad
Those of you who follow my reviews know that I’m a personal trainer. About a year ago one of my new clients, a gay dude, says to me, “You look so familiar. I said, “Really?” He says, “Yeah, but I just can’t think of where I may have seen you before.” I think nothing more of it till a few weeks later he says, “I know why you look so familiar.” “You do?” He says, you are the spittin’ image of this guy on the internet who jerks off all the time on camera.” I’m like, “Get otta here!” He says, “No really, you should check it out. The site is called STR8cam and the guy’s name is Jeff.”

I’m thinkin’ ok, this new client of mine doesn’t know I’m straight and he’s comin’ on to me with this stuff. I mean, I don’t care if my clients get the hots for me. I’m flattered. I also use that sexual tension to my benefit. I can always get my gay clients to work harder for me if I flirt with them. Which is not hard to do, because they’re all nice guys. It’s harmless, of course and I know they’re never offended, so it works for everyone.

But I got to tell you my interest in this Jeff guy was too much for me to resist. I had to see for myself if he and I looked anything alike. I went home one afternoon, googled the site and discovered we could be brothers. DAMN! You gotta give this guy credit, because he’s been pullin’ his pud on camera for years. And I’m sure he has this huge gay following. You GO, Jeff.spunklube

Fast-forward to last month when Dr Dick whips out this bottle of SPUNK Lube Hybrid, and asks me if I’d like to give it a spin. I said, “Sure, why the fuck not?” Then he tells me that this stuff come from this guy he knows in the porn industry, named Jeff, who runs this site called STR8cam. What do you know; now there’s two degrees of separation between me and my online look-alike. So I ask the good doctor, “Hey, do you think this Jeff guy and I look alike? The reason I ask is, one of my clients turned me on to his site about a year ago, because he said I looked like him.” Dr Dick said, “Come to think of it, I guess there is a resemblance.” If that don’t beat all!

So here’s to you, Jeff, my bro from a different mother.

SPUNK Lube Hybrid is my new favorite lube. I mean, it stands to reason that someone who beats his meat for a living would know his way around lube, but this stuff is better than good. The first thing you need to know is it looks and feels just like a guy’s nut. A few drops of SPUNK Lube has the same consistency and viscosity of my own load. I tell ya, if you warm SPUNK Lube a bit, like in a bowl of warm water, I defy you to tell the difference between your jizz and SPUNK Lube, it’s that realistic.
Full Review HERE!

Next we hear from Dr Dick Review Crew Members, Denise & Ken who have the Best Product or Toy for couplesThe Moodsign and Card Game —— $39.99

Denise & Ken
Ken: “When Dr Dick asked us to review the Moodsign, I asked him; ‘what the hell is it?’ He said, “well, it’s not a sex toy, per se, but it is a device that is supposed to help a couple communicate about sex. And it comes with a card game that looks like fun. Would you guys like to give it a try?’”moodsign-packaging-front
Denise: “I glanced over at Ken while Dr Dick was telling us this. And I thought Ken’s eyes were going to roll out of his head. He does the eye-rolling thing so often; I don’t think he knows how obvious he’s being. So before Ken could open his mouth again, I chimed in and said, ‘sure, we’d be happy to review it.’ Ken nudged me and flashed that ‘are you serious?’ look at me. I pretended not to notice.”
Ken: “Ok, so maybe I was being a little transparent, but I couldn’t imagine how a gadget which lights up was gonna get me laid more often. And lets be honest, that’s what we’re talkin’ about here, right?”
Denise: “Tactful! But I did see his point. Ken and I both love sex, but our schedules are such that we often miss opportunities to have a little fun because we can’t read one another’s mind. I thought, if the Moodsign did nothing more than help us with that, it would be a winner.”
Ken: “Well, when she puts it like that, I began to understand. Maybe this is a good place to stop and tell you what the Moodsign is. It’s a sleek hard plastic thing that stand, about 5” tall. It has two clear plastic arms, one on each side, that can be raised to make a signal. Additionally, the arms light up, (powered by 3-AAA batteries, not included) and can be cycled through several different colors. Once I got over myself, I began to see how something as simple as this could actually make a huge difference in letting Denise know that I’m up for a little slap and tickle, I was sold.”moodsign-rabbit-style
Denise: “Listen, I already know that Ken is ‘up’ for ‘it’ just about all the time, but now I had a way of signaling to him that I too was ‘up’ for ‘it’ and I could even be really specific about the kind of ‘it’ I might be up for. This was a game changer. Once Ken and I familiarized ourselves with the Moodsign, we decided to map out our own secret code for one another. Since the lighted arms can point down, outward, and up, we decided that this would signify our interest in and availability for some kind of sexual intimacy. If Ken was hot to go, he’d raise his lighted arm all the way up. I could then respond by raising my lighted arm to ‘hot-to-go,’ ‘maybe,’ or ‘not now, but thanks for asking.’”
Ken: “And then we designated a code for the colored lights to correspond to the kind of intimacy we were into — ‘cuddling,’ ‘making-out,’ ‘sensual massage,’ ‘fucking,’ that sort of thing.”
Denise: “I suggested that we reserve one color for non-sexual communication, like when we get into argument. We could signal to one another that we are ready to talk about whatever it was that set us off. The more we used the Moodsign, the more versatile it became. I found it really delightful and amazingly helpful.”
Ken: “You want to know what I like best? I like that Denise and I can pretty much carry on this really dirty conversation with one another right in front of the kids and they remain clueless. I mean, they’ve seen us fiddle around with the Moodsign, but I just told them it had something to do with work and they were fine with that.”
Full Review HERE!

Finally, we have a tie for Best Product or Toy for Men

Jack & Karen bring us — VërSpanken Bumpy — $31.29 and VërSpanken Water Wieners — $24.99

VërSpanken001

Jack & Karen
Karen: “My goodness, it’s been over a year since our last review. Where does the time go? We were busy with a move and then we welcomed a baby boy, our first, into our family. No wonder we’ve been out of the loop for so long.”
Jack: “Well, we’re glad to be back. And we have an amazing product to tell you about. It’s called a VërSpanken. I have the bumpy one, but it also comes in smooth and wavy. I’ll get to that in a minute.”
Karen: “I was kinda hoping we’d get a couple-oriented product as our first toy of the new year, so I was a little disappointed when I discovered the VërSpanken is toy for guys. That’s what I thought until I took a closer look.”
Jack: “It’s true, the VërSpanken is a male masturbation toy, but Karen and I have been using it together and having a ball. I only wish I had this thing that last couple of months of Karen’s pregnancy. I wouldn’t have worn out my hand quite so much.”VER-SPANKEN-WAVY-WITH-FOAMWIENERS-SOLID-PURPLE
Karen: “Since the baby I haven’t been feeling as sexy as I used to. I’m so glad my libido is slowly returning. But I still don’t often feel like getting involved in full-on sex and that’s where the VërSpanken really comes in handy. I don’t have to leave Jack high and dry just because I don’t feel like sex.”
Jack: “Ok, I think it’s high time for us to tell you everything you need to know about the VërSpanken. I know this is gonna sound weird, but my initial impression was that it looked like this big alien pussy.”
Karen: “He was looking at it vertically, but if you turn it sideways and look at it horizontally, it looks like a big alien mouth. It’s actually pretty comical.”
Jack: “Karen’s right! I guess you can tell I had pussy on the brain when I first saw the VërSpanken. That’s what happens when you go without for so long. Anyhow, there’s this black hard plastic housing that is hinged at the base and snaps shut at the top. When you open the black plastic case you see two foam inserts. These inserts come in three fun vibrant colors and three textures. These inserts are made of TPR (Thermo Plastic Rubber).”
Karen: “Here’s how it works. You open the bwater wienerslack plastic housing, lube up the deliciously spongy inserts, put your man’s penis between them and close the housing once again. It looks hilarious, but it drove Jack crazy with pleasure. The inserts make an encompassing sensation. You can move it up and down over the penis or twist it from side to side.”
Jack: “It’s true! It’s totally wacky, but oh so effective. Pumping my dick in and out of the VërSpanken is a kick. It’s so tight and the sensations are fantastic. I’ve used a few masturbation sleeves in the past, but I’ve never felt anything like this. It’s a one-size-fits-all kind a thing, and for once that claim is actually true. No matter the size of your cock, the VërSpanken will work for you.”
Karen: “But that’s not all! Along with the VërSpanken we also got two additional inserts called Water Wieners. Here’s where it really gets fun. The Water Wieners are like water balloons that you can heat or chill before popping them into the black plastic housing. This adds to the sensation play. One evening last week I blindfolded Jack and restrained his hands so he couldn’t touch his penis. I replaced the bumpy foam inserts with the warmed Water Wieners, lubed up the VërSpanken, and slipped it over his erection. I thought he was going to hit the roof.”
Full Review HERE!

Greg brings us — ARMOUR UP —— $19.56

Greg
My friend Trevor invited me to visit him in Palm Springs a few weeks ago. He promised lots of pool parties and sex. As it turned out, the weather was perfect. Upper 70’s and low 80’s, basically sizzlin’ for this pasty Seattleite. Not that extreme hot, like it is in the summer. I had a ball!armour up02

Here’s the thing, I sometimes get a little self-conscious about the size of my package when wearing Speedos. I mean, I’m a grower not a shower. Does that sound shallow? Ok, so maybe I am.

Just before I left, Dr Dick turned me on to a new product from Perfect Fit Brand. It’s called ARMOUR UP. I’ve been hoping to score one of their products since I read the review of their now infamous Fat Boy. They are also the maker of the Cruiser Cockring, which we’ve also reviewed. And I mention that because ARMOUR UP is a cockring too, but it’s like no other cockring I’ve ever used or worn.

ARMOUR UP is a teardrop shaped design. While the shape is nothing new; I have this kick ass stainless steel one that is beautiful, but a bitch to put on and take off. And despite the fact that it look great on my junk, all shiny and shit, its uncomfortable to wear for long periods of time. In fact, I thought the ARMOUR UP one was gonna be the same way. I was so wrong!

armour up04ARMOUR UP is made of an ultra-stretchy and resilient material called PF Blend, which is a combination of silicone and TPR (a thermoplastic elastomer). It is easy-on and easy-off and it is so fuckin’ comfortable, I can wear it for hours at a time. And you know I did under my Speedos.

The teardrop design is unique because not only does it do what every good cockring should do, slightly constrict your cock (and balls) so that blood flows into your dick, but doesn’t flow out as easily, thus making a nice sturdy erection. It also has this tab on the base, with a bump on it, which slings back behind your nuts and lands on your “taint.” That’s your perineum, that patch of skin, full of nerve endings, between your asshole and your balls. So there’s all this extra stimulation goin’ on by just wearing the thing.

While the ARMOUR UP teardrop shape is not new, it takes the design to a completely new level. It’s revolutionary anatomical shape is so unique! Once you have this thing on it actually makes your cock and balls protrude away from your crotch. And its slim design feels so good.

I put on the clear ARMOUR UP ring (it comes in two colors, clear and black) and then slipped into a pair of electric blue Speedos and stood in front of the mirror to check it out. DAMN, I was rockin’ this shit out. The silky feel of the material of the Speedos on my prominent dick head was giving me a nice little stiffy. I fuckin’ loved it. Now I looked like a shower, not just a grower.

I waltzed into kitchen where Trevor was putting some beers into a cooler and he took one look at me and dropped his jaw. “Hun, what you got goin’ on down there?” I just winked and said: “It’s my little secret. Besides, you’re such a size queen!” And he said; “Well at least I’m honest. You know what they say; there are only two kinds of men—size queens and liars.”

I just want you to know that I gave Trevor the black ARMOUR UP as a thank you gift for hosting me for the weekend. You should see what it does for his big black dick. It was kinda obscene!
Full Review HERE!

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