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It Just Don’t Look Right

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Name: Manson.
Age: 21
Location:
I was born with hypospadias and I was operated three times during my life. The last operation was when I was 16. Now, I am 21. My problem is that my penis is only 11 cm or 4.3 inches! I am middle-eastern. I am worried about my penis size, since I have heard it won’t grow longer after the ages of 21-25. What is the best method of penis enlargement that you can suggest in my case?
Thank you

First, a quick review of what is hypospadias is for those unfamiliar with the term. It’s an abnormality of the urethra in some men. It involves an unusual placed urinary meatus (piss slit). Instead of opening being at the tip of the glans (or dickhead), a hypospadic urethra opens anywhere on a (raphe) line running from the tip of the dude’s cock along the underside of the shaft to where the base.

hypospadic 2This happens when a guy’s dick does not fully develop in the womb.

This condition has levels of severity, from the hardly noticeable to very obvious. Some children are born intersexed, and have ambiguous genitalia, which requires sexual reassignment surgery. But I’ll save that discussion for another time.

Some guys, particularly those with conspicuous hypospadias can develop a complex about their appearance. This in turn, impacts on their self-image and complicates their ability to form lasting sexual/partner/marriage relationships. Severe hypospadias can also interfere with procreation. Other men, perhaps those with less conspicuous or severe hypospadias show little to no concern for the appearance of their dick and live completely normal lives.

Some parents of children with mild hypospadias seek a surgical correction to the problem. I view this as a highly risky means to solve a less relatively innocuous cosmetic problem. There are men who were operated on as a child who now, as adults, resent the interference. Are you one such man, Manson? You say you’ve had three surgeries. As you may know, matters are often made worse rather than better through surgery. And of course, there’s always the risk of complications, infections and the like. There are, however, more serious cases of hypospadias that demand reconstruction. If your dick issue is causing you anxiety or low self-esteem, help is available. Check out: The Hypospadias and Epispadias Association.

On to the size of your cock. While your cock falls on the smaller end of the spectrum, it still is near the average. You might want to google — average penis size to get the lowdown on that.

It’s true what you suspect. Don’t count on your dick growing any larger than it is. And frankly, there are no effective methods for permanent enlargement. Here’s what I wrote to another young man (18yo) who wanted to grow his dick bigger…

Jeez, this is just about my least favorite topic of all. I keep promising myself that I won’t respond to anymore “how do I grow my dick bigger?” questions. And then along comes a young pup, like you John, and asks the question again. Here’s a tip, everything I have to say about cock enlargement schemes I’ve already said. If you want to know my thoughts about this wearisome topic look for the CATEGORIES pull down menu in the sidebar to your right. Under the main heading Body Issues you will find a subcategory Cock Size. Once you read through all columns and listen to the podcasts you will have all the information you seek.huge pen..

But since you’re a youngster I will respond kindly. First, you’re not even completely through puberty yet, John. So if you could just chill out for a couple more years till your growing spurt is complete, you might find that nature itself will resolve your issue for you. If, by chance, you find that by your 18th birthday your cock is no bigger than it currently is, then it’s time to make your peace with your piece. Because basically that’s the dick you’re gonna have to work with for the rest of your life.

In other words, you have about as much chance of growing a bigger dick than what your genetics has determined for you as you do growing your feet bigger or adding inches to your height or changing the color of your skin. It’s simply not gonna happen. There is no true way of safely increasing either the width or the length of your johnson short of a surgical intervention. And I never recommend that.

Just like there are ways to give the illusion of bigger feet, darker or lighter skin or being taller than you really are, there are things you can do to create the illusion that you’re growin’ yourself a bigger dick. But all the creams, the jelqing, the pumps, the weights, the what-have-you, will only have a short-term effect if they have any effect at all. In the end you will have spent a whole lot of money, wasted a lot of time, been consumed with a great deal of anxiety and possibly even injured yourself to wind up having what you’ve always had and not significantly more.

May I suggest that you practice accepting what genetics has determined for you in terms of cock size and everything else. Because that will give you more time and energy to learn how to use what you have to its greatest benefit. Luckily, our capacity to be a good, and even great, lover has nothing to do with the size of our cock. Anyone who tries to tell you different is pullin’ your leg.

I hope this is helpful.

Good luck

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Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me…

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Name: John
Gender:  Male
Age: 16
Location: San Diego
My dick is kinda small.  I want to add 3-5 inches.  How do I do that?

Jeez, this is just about my least favorite topic of all.  I keep promising myself that I won’t small_cock1respond to anymore “how do I grow my dick bigger?” questions.  And then along comes a young pup, like you John, and asks the question again.  Here’s a tip, everything I have to say about cock enlargement schemes I’ve already said.  If you want to know my thoughts about this wearisome topic scroll use my site’s search function in the sidebar to your right.  Search with key words like “cock shape”, “cock size” and “jelqing”.  Once you read through all columns and listen to the podcasts you will have all the information you seek.

Here’s a bit of an overview of what you’ll find.  First, you’re not even completely through puberty yet, John.  So if you could just chill out for a couple more years till your growing spurt is complete, you might find that nature itself will resolve your issue for you.  If, by chance, you find that by your 18th birthday your cock is no bigger than it currently is, then it’s time to make your peace with your piece.  Because basically that’s the dick you’re gonna have to work with for the rest of your life.

In other words, you have about as much chance of growing a bigger dick than what your genetics has determined for you as you do growing your feet bigger or adding inches to your height or changing the color of your skin.  It’s simply not gonna happen.  There is no true way of safely increasing either the width or the length of your johnson, short of a small_cock3surgical intervention. And I never recommend that.

Just like there are ways to give the illusion of bigger feet, darker or lighter skin or being taller than you really are, there are things you can do to create the illusion that you’re growin’ yourself a bigger dick.  But all the creams, the jelqing, the pumps, the weights the what-have-you, will only have a short-term effect if they have any effect at all.  In the end you will have spent a whole lot of money, wasted a lot of time, been consumed with a great deal of anxiety and possibly even injured yourself to wind up having what you’ve always had and not significantly more.

May I suggest that you practice accepting what genetics has determined for you in terms of cock size and everything else.  Because that will give you more time and energy to learn how to use what you have to its greatest benefit.  Luckily, our capacity to be a good, and even great, lover has nothing to do with the size of our cock.  Anyone who tries to tell you different is pullin’ your leg.

Name: Laurel
Gender: female
Age: 42
Location: San Francisco
My best friend, someone I truly love, has been really getting into S&M lately.  Some weeks ago she told me she now has a full-time slave.  She says it’s a lifestyle thing, but I still don’t get it.  The problem I have is that this isn’t a private thing between her and this guy. She parades it around and treats him like a slave 24 hours a day.  I find this really disturbing and it’s like she does this just to annoy me.  My husband and I are complete equals in every way.  I can’t get comfortable watching my friend humiliate and degrade someone like this.  My friend says I should just quit being so uptight.  Is this really just a question of me being closed-minded?  Or is there something radically wrong with someone wanting to humiliate and degrade someone else?

How did your best friend’s lifestyle choices, whatever they might be, suddenly become all about you?  If you really cared for this person as much as you say you do, or better yet, as much as you care for yourself and your delicate sensitivities you’d try to look beyond your superficial appreciation of what’s going on with your friend and her slave.

fem-domYou say your problem with your friend is that she doesn’t keep her perversion private; rather she and her man slave “parade around” 24hr a day.  What, you’d prefer she be a dilettante kinkster? Hell I give her credit for taking this thing seriously.  So many others compartmentalize their lives — this is me for my family and friends — this is me for playmates — and this over here is my secret me.

As to your friend, I doubt that she gives a flying fuck if her public antics annoy you.  In fact, that may very well be why she does it.  Let’s try and look at this as dispassionately as possible.  Your friend, by being so public with her kink, has entered the realm of political and sexual theater.  That is not in any way meant to diminish her commitment to her lifestyle.  On the contrary, only someone who is totally into this would have the fortitude to constantly poke a finger in the eye of polite society.  She has a message for you and us. And I suspect that it has something to do with the unfortunate sex-role stereotyping and stultifying gender conventions that plague our buttoned down society.  But best you get that directly from the horse’s mouth, so to speak.

I have no way of knowing why your friend does what she does, but she belongs to a very long and venerable tradition of flying in the face of the popular culture.  Sure she risks being cut off by you and ostracized by others.  And that has to hurt on some level even for those way out on the fringe.  Like all political theatrics she draws you into her world, albeit as an unwilling participant. Humiliating her slave in front of squeamish folks, like you, who don’t share her kink is asking for more than tolerance that’s for sure.  One could make the case that her behavior is foolhardy and counterproductive.  What’s for certain is she’s walking a fine line between performance art and alienation.  In the end, Laurel, you may find that it is you who will need to set the boundaries.slave

And I don’t think this is simply a question of you being too up tight.  But I fear that you are using a conventional mindset to try and decipher these very interesting goings on.  That’s simply not gonna work.  Like I said earlier, she’s being this public about what most people, including yourself, think should be private because she wants to make a statement.  I suspect your conventional mindset doesn’t know what to make of consensual power-play, which is precisely what this is.

You point out that you would never humiliate your husband like this.  No kidding?  Of course you and hubby aren’t engaged in consensual power-play, are you?  Because if you were, you’d understand your friend a whole lot better, even if you still disapproved of her public performances.

If you find your friend’s lifestyle so disturbing, you could simply ask her to chill the scene when you’re around.  She may or may not comply.  Another solution might be that you ask her for some alone time, just she and you, without her slave.  Hell, even a slave get a day off from time to time.  Again she may or may not comply.  If no arrangement can be made, then perhaps it’s time to part ways.  Hopefully you guys could do that with as little acrimony as possible.  There’s no need to burn bridges over this.  Who knows this might be a phase she’s going through…ya know trying to show everyone how edgy she is.  In time she might very well find that the fringe is not all that comfortable and decide to keep her kink more to herself.

Name: Jack
Gender:
Age: 52
Location: Milwaukee
I’ve been dating this guy for over a year.  He is the love of my life.  I love him so much, but he treats me like shit.  I met him on vacation in Florida.  He’s 26 a stunning, 6’3” 200lbs, blond surfer Adonis.  And excuse me for being so graphic; he has the biggest dick I’d ever seen.  The first time we had sex I saw stars.  He filled me up like no other person has.
When I got home we exchanged emails nearly every day and even had some hot phone sex a couple of times.  He was down on his luck, because he lost his barista job for coming to work stoned too many times.  I know I shouldn’t have, but I invited him to come live with me.  I flew him up, but I told him that this wouldn’t be a free ride, he’d have to stop smoking so much dope and get a job and he agreed.
The sex was fantastic for the first couple of months, but once he established himself as a star at the gym he found his own friends and now I don’t see too much of him.  He eats my food and drinks my liquor and drives my car.  I pay for his cloths and gym membership.  He has yet to find a job.
I know I should just end it, but I love him and I would really miss the sex.  My friends ridicule me for thinking he loves me as much as I love him.  They tell me they know he sees other guys.  I’m so turned around I don’t know what to do.

Like my momma always used to say:  if it’s got wheels or a dick, you know you’re gonna have problems with it.  And I would add, if it’s got big wheels or a big dick you know you’re gonna have BIG problems with it.

Before we turn our attention to your no good boyfriend, let me make a few quick hot guyobservations about you.  You’re a freakin’ mess, girlfriend! I mean really, you’ve broken all the cardinal rules about dating a hustler.  I know, I can hear you now…oh no dr dick, he’s not a hustler; he’s a good kid who’s just down on his luck and I’m just trying to help.  Bullshit!

Ya see, that’s the first cardinal rule of dating a hustler is never lose sight of the fact that he’s a hustler and you’re his john.  Don’t get me wrong; I have the deepest admiration for hustlers and their johns.  It’s just that this arrangement only works if everyone is clear about the ground rules.   And here are the ground rules — rich older gentleman connects with needy younger hunky stud for mutual benefit.  Rich older gentleman keeps needy younger hunky stud in room and board, booze, cloths, car, gym membership and the like; and needy younger hunky stud buggers rich older gentleman senseless with his big blond surfer-boy dick.  Get it?  Got it?  Good!

Second cardinal rule — what happens on vacation should stay on vacation.  Vacation sex, as wonderful and delicious as it may be, does not transplant very well to your non-vacation life.  You’re more likely to have success transplanting a delicate tropical orchid to your Milwaukee backyard than transplanting a vacation hustler fuck to your work-a-day world back home.

Third cardinal rule —don’t try to gloss a perfectly fine, fully functional and even an affectionate hustler/john relationship with talk of love.  It’s unnecessary, unseemly and untrue.  It’s lust, it’s limerence, it’s love sickness, whatever…it’s just not love.  Because LOVE don’t ever make you feel as bad as you’re feelin’.  Probably your friends would have less difficulty with your mooning over this guy if you were more honest about the nature of this relationship.  They wouldn’t be rubbing your face in the evidence that surfer-boy is pluggin’ other dudes.

Fourth cardinal rule — a size queen, like you Jack, should admit that you are enamored with the guy hose and how it fills you up plain and simple.  To pretend that you would string yourself out like this for a guy with tiny meat is just that — pretense.  Listen, there’s nothin’ wrong with bein’ a size queen, it’s the dishonesty I object to.

How is this young fella ever supposed to respect you when you don’t respect for yourself?  He probably had you pegged (no pun intended) back on the beach in the sunshine state. He knows you will tolerate his misbehavior, which of course gives him permission to do whatever he feels like doing whenever he feel like doing it.  And now he don’t even have to give up the occasional mercy fuck any more, even though that was surely part of the deal at the get go, right?

So the waif has yet to find a job after a year, huh?  Why is that not surprising?  But even a hustler needs his mad money, besides what is doled out to him by his long-suffering john.  I’d be willing to guess Mr. surfer dude is turning tricks to keep himself in weed and other essentials.

hot_guy2Thing is, this fellow probably would have treated you better if you would have just stuck to the hustler/john script.  Ya see, kids like this need structure.  He may have looked to you for this at one time, but when he realized that he had you cock-whipped, the teachable moment evaporated.  This lad is probably like most other boys with big dicks.  They learn early on that their cock gives them enormous power, because it is the object of desire for so many.  He soon discovered that you were no different than all the other men (and some women) in his life — only interested in owning a piece of his sizeable endowment.  And so he turned the tables on you.  You can hardly fault the guy.  You try to manipulate him with your money.  He outwits you and manipulates you with his dick.

If you’re really serious about reining in the little monkey, you’d better come up with a clear, unambiguous message about what you will and will not tolerate.  And it better be something more than “I expect you to bone my scrawny middle-aged ass on occasion.” Because, until you do, he will roam wherever and whenever he wants.

There are many root causes for his behavior, just like there are many root causes for your behavior.  But since I’m talking to you, not him, I suggest that you get to the bottom of all of this by investing a good deal of time and energy with a competent sex-positive therapist. There’s one thing I can say for certain, if the status quo continues your resentment will boil over one day and there will be violence, the kind of violence that you may not think yourself capable of now.  But violence there will be; you can bank on it!

Is there enough goodwill between the two of you to resolve this unfortunate situation amicably?  Who knows!  If I had to guess, I’d say there was a slim to no chance for that.  If that’s the case, I advise you pack him up and put him on the next plane south.  And no more relationships for you, particularly with unemployed young men with massive schlongs, till you get your head screwed on tighter.

Good Luck Ya’ll

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Much Ado About Very Little

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Ya’ll are gotta get a load of this. It’s rare that one person can generate an entire column with his email exchange, but that’s what happened this month. The curious thing is that I was already preparing a column about men’s obsession with dick size when along comes this dude and practically writes the whole damn column on his own.

Check it out!

Dr. Dick,
My lover of 10 years just left me. The guy he left me for is 12 years younger. I will be forty-one in June. The primary reason that he left is because, and I quote; “you have a great body and are the most attentive lover I have ever had, but he has a ten inch dick! You cannot compete with that!” And he is right. I am only 7.5.
I have stopped going out. Every chat room online has guys that are 10 plus inches in them. So I have not been in chat rooms, gone to bars or stayed in touch with friends. The two guys I attempted to have sex with, one was a stripper who was on the cover of Inches the week after we met. The other one was an army guy that had a dick like a piece of polish sausage.
I never have been a fan of huge cocks, but now I want one. I want to be at least 9.5 inches. Can this be done through surgery? I understand that vacuum pumps do not really work.
Can you seriously offer some help or advice?
Thanks.
Without a Big One

Wow, WABO, you’ve come up with a really brilliant idea. Let’s all of us fight shallow with shallow!

p1.jpgHoney, you’re 41 and yet you apparently still have this adolescent GRASP on the whole dick size thing, huh? Too bad! I guess some folks just never grow up. And I hate to break the news to you, but all those guys on line, the ones with 10 inches…those are cyber inches, darlin. Cyber inches have no connection at all to real honest-to-goodness LIVE inches. Jeez, wake up and smell the coffee. You’re giving us homos a bad name.

Throughout history, men have obsessed about the size of their cocks. And when there’s attention of this magnitude paid to something this trivial, you can be sure there’s gonna be an entire industry poised to bilk the shit out of the willie worrisome, like you WABO. Hey, where do you suppose the term “snake oil” originated? Sheesh!

All of this unfortunate big-dick envy creates a never-ending parade of con artists tryin’ to sell a remedy, of one sort or another, to cure guys, just like you, of their “shame”. But, take it from Dr. Dick, the dick doctor; it’s all bullshit. And some of the bullshit is really scary and dangerous bullshit.

For every little peanut out there, (and if you are reporting your size accurately, you’re not little in any way shape or form) there is some kooky diet, ridiculous cream, bogus massage technique or worthless breathing exercise that is supposed to transform one’s mini-meat into the giant economy size. And let’s not forget the weights you can hang on your thang. Vacuum devices to pump up your thang. And of course the twenty-first century solution — cosmetic surgery — to put a happy face on your thang. The results are dubious if there are any results at all. And each has negative side effects, some of which are more revolting than others.

Here’s the last word on this — don’t waste your money on any of this crap. Or better yet, send me the money, and I’ll put it to good use. Here’s the very best advice I can offer a guy who is unhappy about the size of his schlong…learn to love what ya got and leave it the hell alone.

My overriding concern, WABO, is for your state of mind. I ask myself, what kind of person would chase after a faithless BF, disrupt an established value system and seriously contemplate physically altering his appearance with all the risks that that implies? I can only assume that this is just some kind of mid-life crisis that you’re experiencing and that this will pass with time. Hang in there, WABO.

Dr. Dick

Richard,
Or should I say Dr. Dick, although I am angry and hurt I am in no way experiencing a mid life crisis. In addition, if the correct way to measure the penis is from the base to tip topside…I have done so with a fabric tape measure. The tape breaks, or bends at just past 7.5. In my experience that is small.
Just curious…How big is Dr. Dick’s cock? How big are the cocks of the guys you hire for you films and productions. I bet there are none my size or smaller. I always find it interesting that guys like Ron Jeremy or the late Scott O’Hara delving out advice to men much smaller telling them to learn to love themselves. Gee that helps a lot at a bathhouse or a play party. Guys like that, like the guy my ex left me for, never have to worry about dropping there pants after a hot date with a potential boyfriend or fuck buddy and worry about being humiliated because of the size of there cock.
I guess if I were as well adjusted or as well hung it wouldn’t be a problem.
Without

Dear Without,

Here’s what I know.

WHAT IS THE AVERAGE PENIS SIZE? The average penis size when erect is only 5.7″ to 6″. Over 90% of men posses this size.r1.jpg

HOW TO MEASURE PENIS SIZE: The easiest way to measure the erect penis is to use a piece of string or similar and wrap it around the thickest part of the erect penis – this is usually very near the base of your dick, but the glans just below the head can sometimes be thicker.

Make a mark on the string where it meets the start of the string and then lay the string flat next to a ruler and measure the distance between the beginning and the end mark. This measurement is your penis circumference.

To find out your length, use a ruler (running along the top of your penis) to measure from the base of the penis, i.e. where the shaft meets the body, to the tip.

Dr. Dick

Dr. Dick,
I was able to find your profile online. You are quite obviously very well hung. Lucky for you. I have decided to talk to a surgeon in NYC that does this particular surgery. In addition, he is putting me in touch with men that he has performed this procedure on that have had success.
Since you are already hung well, I don’t expect you to understand. I imagine no one has ever left you because your dick was not BIG ENOUGH! I had hoped for some real and helpful advice. Instead I found your comments belittling.
Thank you,
Without

Dear WABO

t2.jpgDude, are you serious? You don’t know squat about me, girlfriend. And here’s a tip, the beauty part of free advice is you can either take it or leave it.

Belittling, huh? Curious choice of words in light of what we’re discussing. Take it from a professional; it is you who belittle yourself, not me. A big dick makes one a curiosity, it doesn’t make one interesting.

Have a ball with that surgeon. Maybe, if you spend a shit lot of money to get an extra inch of dick you’ll be a happier man. I doubt it, but I could be wrong.

While you’re at it, why not have the doctor put you in touch with the guys who aren’t success stories. Have you ever seen a botched dick job? Not pretty! I’d be willing to wager the cost of such an intervention that there are a lot more dissatisfied customers than satisfied ones.

The best of luck to you. Oh, and have a nice day.

Dr. Dick

Richard,
Are you a real Doctor? Would you be this insensitive if I were a paying patient? I have lost my lover to someone younger because he has a bigger cock. I have not had sex in months. The two times I tried the guys were hung huge. I don’t go out and I see no possible chance for happiness without being able to compete.
Tried three therapists…one fell asleep while I was crying. One said I was too angry for his experience, the last one was a woman. What do I do?

Here’s what you should do, WABO, drop all this pathetic self-pity routine and invest in something that will make you a more interesting person, something that does not call attention to your dick regardless of its size. Either that or you’ll find yourself even more alone and bitter than you currently are. So buck up, bubby, and pull yourself together. No more whining.

Dr. Dick

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A ‘Hand’ Book for Male Masturbation

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The new masturbation manifesto and advice manual Better Than the Hand has a bank of spank tips that are hard to beat.

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Every one knows that May is Masturbation Month, but they may not be observing this as an occasion to improve their masturbatory skill set. That’s why it’s a stroke of genius that a new book written by author Magnus Sullivan, Better Than The Hand: How Masturbation is the Key to Better Sex and Healthier Living, was just published, tossing off a toolbox of masturbation techniques and providing meaty tips to extend these practices into partner sex (if you will).

“Even after 22 years of International Masturbation Month, we still find that so many people hold a bias against masturbation,” Good Vibrations staff sexologist Dr. Carol Queen tells SF Weekly. “How can that be a good thing, to disrespect the one sexual pleasure-focused act that everyone can access whenever they want?”

Queen’s lessons on masturbation served as the inspiration for Better Than the Hand, a volume of pocket pinball tips for men or anyone with a penis. It describes a series of hand-y steps and exercises to maintain erections for longer than 15 minutes, employing various sex toys for unique penile arousal scenarios, and using masturbation tricks to regain that erection after having already blown your load once.

“Male masturbation is a very taboo thing for us to talk about, much more so than female masturbation,” Sullivan says.

Although it’s listed now, Better Than the Hand was not always available on Amazon. The online retailer’s censors shut down access to the book once they discovered it was about male masturbation, and other websites have been similarly unreceptive.

“I can’t advertise the book on Facebook,” Sullivan tells SF Weekly. “They rejected every single ad.”

He’s been able to get out of Amazon purgatory, but not without a fight.

“They sent me a note saying, ‘Your book is currently being reviewed for explicit content,’” he recalls. “There’s no explicit content in the book. We’re talking about masturbation!”

But ‘explicit content’ may be in the eye of the beholder. After all, this is a book that contains sentences like, “If you haven’t experienced the deep, muscle-penetrating hum of a Magic Wand on your perineum, anus, and cock, then you’re living in the sexual dark ages.”

Yes, this guy is advocating that men should apply the clitoral sex toy known as the Hitachi Magic Wand not only to their own junk, but to their intimate booty regions as well.

“I got one of the most powerful orgasms I’ve ever had from the Hitachi Wand,” Sullivan tells SF Weekly. “When you use it as a man, I think it’s the closest thing you can experience that’s akin to a female orgasm, because it just kind of happens to you. It isn’t this cock-centric stroking experience, it’s just like all of a sudden there’s this welling up of sensuality, sexuality, and orgasmic sensations that result in an orgasm.”

“For me, that was an eye-opener that there’s a much bigger world out there regarding my own body,” he adds.

Needless to say, there are some pretty freaky masturbation techniques described in this book. It’s called Better Than the Hand because your hand is what you’re already using for jackin’ the beanstalk, but this book sets out to expand your rubbing-out repertoire to include a number of unconventional sex toys that many heterosexual guys would be embarrassed to admit owning.

Better Than the Hand lists and evaluates a whole range of penis sleeves, Fleshlights, cock rings, penis pumps, Tenga eggs, prostate massagers, and more. There is even a section on those humanoid sex dolls, which the sex doll-owning community prefers we refer to as “full-size masturbators.”

“Masturbation isn’t seen by 99 percent of men as a way to experiment,” Sullivan says, passionately defending these sex toys for men. “Toys can be used to manage premature orgasms, to stay hard after orgasms, and to have multiple orgasms.”

Men’s sexual problems, as Sullivan sees it, can be attributed to male masturbation being a task traditionally handled quickly, quietly, and with great shame. Men have a tendency to go straight for their own primary erogenous zone and ejaculate as quickly as possible.

That’s bad technique, and why the Journal of Sexual Medicine estimates men last, on average, 5.4 minutes during vaginal intercourse. Sullivan sets out to establish male masturbation as a “process-oriented rather than a goal-oriented activity,” with specifics strategies to enhance the four separate identifiable stages of Excitement, Plateau, Orgasm, and Resolution.

In doing so, men can enhance not only their quality of sex but also their personal health. The book argues that masturbation has specific male health benefits, like reducing the risk of prostate cancer, boosting the immune system, and improving the quality of your sleep.

But most importantly, coming to grips with your masturbating habits — and being able to talk about them — can make men better lovers, and less chauvinistic as people.

“As men explore their own bodies, they’re also becoming much more skillful, knowledgeable, sensitive lovers,” Sullivan says. “When you have sexual identity and sexual behavior being constrained or restricted, it leads to a problem of toxic male sexuality.”

This toxic male sexuality has been seen in the headlines around Brock Turner, the Stanford student who assaulted an unconscious woman, or with our pussy-grabbing president. Having produced both straight and gay adult films for more than 20 years, Sullivan sees toxic male sexuality as a primarily straight male phenomenon.

“Most gay men have come to terms with what it is to be sexual,” he tells SF Weekly. “Most straight men aren’t dealing with questions like that, so they never develop the vocabulary, the empathy, or the emotional intelligence to have these subtle interactions.”

A lack of empathy or emotional intelligence can be seen in the pornography that straight men watch, and why this porn profoundly bothers their female partners.

“The biggest fantasy of most straight men is fucking some 18-year-old girl in the ass,” says Sullivan, who also manages an online porn streaming platform. “By far, the largest-watched category of porn is anal sex with young models.”

It might be fair to say this represents arrested emotional development among porn-watching straight men. But it also represents a psychological toll for their female partners, creating body-image issues and a sense of betrayal over how the porn-consuming straight guy prefers these adult-film starlets.

Men forget that feeling desired is a primary erotic trigger for many women, and that to desire someone else may feel like a violation of the couple’s intimacy. This sense of violation can also play out when masturbation or porn interferes with a guy’s ability to get erections.

“The desire thing is probably linked to the way some women freak out when their male partners can’t get erections on demand,” Queen says. “It feels like the cock is the barometer of desirability. It’s fucked up, but there it is.”

Better Than the Hand addresses many of the sticky topics that surround male masturbation, and it has some dynamite chapters on communicating masturbatory habits and the use of toys for couples, plus a detailed script for an outrageously hot mutual-masturbation scenario.

But the book’s main thrust is to give men a curiosity on how to make their dick work better, and how masturbating is key to this process. As so capably said by our long-lost muse Whitney Houston, “Learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all.”

Complete Article HERE!

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Pump It Up

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Name: Celia
Gender: female
Age: 22
Location: Chico
I think my clit is too small. I rarely have an orgasm through oral stimulation and never through intercourse. Is there anything I could do to make my clit bigger? Do they make “penis pumps” for women?

I never did hear of a too small of a clit, darlin’. Listen, there’s way more to your clitoris than what meets the eye. While it is clitoral anatomytrue that those adorable little pleasure buttons come in a wide variety of sizes, shapes, and colors. What is externally visible is only the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. Wanna know more? Use the Google, why don’t cha? Search for “clitoral anatomy.” You’ll be amazed at what you find. Did you know that your clit has a hood, head, and a shaft? The whole complex looks like this winged alien creature. And did you know that your clit’s only purpose is pleasure. Men don’t have anything that even faintly resembles this astonishing thing. And the head of your clit has 8,000 nerve endings? That’s double what a guy has in his much larger dickhead. Pretty gal-darn amazing, huh? So to my mind, clitoral size is not an issue.

During sexual arousal your clit, as well as your whole pussy, engorge with blood and change color, just like a guy’s cock does. The more the engorgement, the more sensitive the area becomes, just like for a guy. Thus, the more aroused you are; the more pleasure you will receive, just like a guy. clitProblem is, few women are afforded the time necessary to become fully aroused. Imagine if a guy was expected to perform sexually before he was fully aroused. He’d be trying to fuck with a limp dick. And you know how successful an event that would be.

Conquering a limp dick is precisely the genesis of the fabled penis pump you mention in your question. The Austrian inventor Otto Ledever reasoned that if a stiffy was all about blood flow then maybe he could come up with a device that would draw blood into a cock creating an erection where there wasn’t one before. In 1917, our hero patented an airtight cylinder topped by a bulb that created a vacuum within the chamber. Insert a limp dick — pump, pump, pump and tada! — An impressive erection resulted.

Well then, since girl parts are pretty much like boy parts, at least in terms of the whole blood flow thing; the same principle will indeed work for your parts, Celia, just as well as it would work for a dude’s parts. Which gets me to my answer to your question. Yes, my dear, there are “penis pumps” for women only they are called a Clitoral Suction Cylinder or a Vagina Suction Cylinder.

The purpose of the suction is to increase blood flow making your clit, and/or your whole pussy, more sensitive to the touch. And again, my point from above, the more sensitivity in the area, the more pleasure you will have from your own touch or that of a partner.

I invite you to visit Dr Dick’s Stockroom and take a look around.  You’ll see, in the left hand sidebar, a list of product categories. Under the main heading, Sex Toys, there is a subcategory titled, “Suction.”  Click on it. There you will find two more headings, one of which is “Nipple And Body.”  Click on it. There you will find loads of things that will make your clit sit up and take notice. Here’s a tip, most all the nipple suction devices will also work on your clit. And if you want to pump up your whole pussy, you can do that too. How fun!

Clitoral Suction Cylinder  Clitoral enlargement system

Now if you want to be all primed, so to speak, for an upcoming fuck fest with the BF, or whomever, do your pumping before the event begins. This will get you all engorged, sensitive and loaded for pleasure before your partner joins in the fun. In fact, if you get the hang of the whole pumping thing on your own first, you’ll be able to show your partner the ropes, as it were; so that he or she will be able to incorporate the pump-job into the sex play next time you’re together.

Good luck

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