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Hey sex fans!

It’s our first Friday back from Spring Break, so you know that that means, right? That’s right, it’s Product Review Friday. And we have another excellent toy for your bum to tell you about. It came to us directly from the manufacturer, Nexus.

Have you been following all our Nexus reviews, right? If not, you’d better get with it. You can find them all HERE!

Today we have Dr Dick Review Crew member, Carlos, to do the honors.

GYRO by Nexus —— $97.79

I am the proud owner of a growing collection of anal toys, thanks to being a member of the Dr Dick Review Crew. I started my collection back in October of 2007 when I participated in my first review. It was for one of the Aneros products.

I remember being so jazzed about getting a free prostate massaging sex toy. I was kinda new to the whole insertion thing way back when. I also had some problems associated with my enlarged prostate. Over the years, I discovered that regular prostate massage really helped the condition a lot. Now I’m an avid anal toy user. One might even call me a connoisseur.

Today, I bring you news of my newest prostate massager; it’s from Nexus. It’s called the GYRO. It’s not for the novice butt pirate, but if you know your way around your pucker and you’re looking for a bit of a challenge; then the GYRO is well worth your consideration. I like it very much!

It is a hefty bugger, weighing in at just under 10 oz. It’s thick and bulbous and has a rockin’, and I mean that literally, base. It is made of 100% high-grade silicone, which makes it the ideal sharable toy. I really don’t have any one to share mine with, my wife is not into butt play, but maybe you do.

Besides it being nonporous and phthalate-free, it’s so easy to clean and sanitize (a must for sharing). I just wash mine down with soap and water; wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution, or I can drop it in boiling water for a few minutes; or run it through a cycle of the dishwasher. Nothing could be easier. No fuss, no muss, no bother!

You all know that you have to use a lot of lube when inserting anything in your butt, right? Good! Well, in this case, you can only use a water-based lube, because, I’ve already mentioned this toy is made of silicone. A silicone-based lube would degrade the beautiful smooth finish of the GYRO.

Once inserted, the angled head of the GYRO hits my prostate with a bang, and the thick shaft fills me up plenty. As you can see from the shape of the GYRO, it is a butt plug. That means my sphincter muscle closed down on the neck notch of the toy, just before the base. Once in place, I just rock and roll till my heart’s content. It’s good healthy fun.

Like Dr Dick, I’ve become an advocate for prostate self-awareness. I believe that regular prostate massage, like the kind you get with the GYRO contributes to prostate health and vitality in most men. And a healthy prostate, increased blood flow and added muscle control are what makes for powerful orgasms, rejuvenated sexual ability, and stamina, as well as a stiffer cock. And that’s a good thing for men my age. I’m 50 now. So, like we say here at Dr Dick’s Sex Toy reviews; “if a fella can pleasure himself AND do himself some good health-wise…all at the same time; well that just about beat the pants off just diddlin’ just for fun.
Full Review HERE!


Healing Sexual Trauma through Sensate Focus

One of the most difficult things for me to deal with as a therapist is the aftermath of sexual trauma. And I know that the trouble I have with this is only a tiny fraction of the difficulty my client has as he or she faces his/her past. I share with you a correspondence I’ve had with a 36-year-old man from Boston named Trent.

Dr. Dick,
When I was 10 years my parish priest molested me. It went on for over a year. Mostly, I’ve been able to put this behind me. I’ve been married over a year to this really great gal. She’s been very understanding and supportive, and we love each other very much. A couple of weeks ago when we were having sex, my wife started to massage my bottom. This was the first time someone touched me there since I was 10. At first it felt good, but then I remembered how I felt when I was a kid and freaked out. I started to cry. My poor wife was devastated at the thought of triggering this painful memory. I told her it wasn’t her fault, but we haven’t had sex since. I’m worried, but I don’t know what to do.

Working through a sexual trauma, like the one Trent experienced as a kid, is difficult. But it is essential for regaining a healthy sense of the sexual self. I told Trent—and this applies to any anyone else who has had regrettable early sexual experiences in their past—that I strongly suggested that he and his wife engage a sex-positive therapist to help them get back on track.

Many people have dealt with some kind of sexually related trauma in their lives.  However, some trauma is more severe than others. Emotional scar tissue and painful memories may linger, but you can learn to insulate yourself from the disruptive effects of the past in the present. Thanks to the indomitable human spirit, most of us live through our difficulties and go on to develop healthy, integrated sex lives.

Sensate focus is a process that helps individuals move through painful sexual memories and heal the rift between the affected parts of the body and the pleasure they can produce. I thought this technique would be of particular value for Trent because of something he’d said: “At first it felt good, but then I remembered how I felt when I was a kid and freaked out.” This tells me that he was able to enjoy the sensations before the association with the molestation kicked in and ruined everything. Sensate focus offers a way to short-circuit this disruptive connection and rewire it for pleasure instead of pain.

What follows are structured therapeutic touching exercises for couples. They are not a prelude to sex. You need to be clear on that. Your genitals will be involved. There will be pleasure and arousal, for sure. But the object of this process is to desensitize the trigger (in Trent’s case, his butt), then re-sensitize it for pleasure. These exercises take about an hour one day a week over the course of a month. If you embark on this course, make sure that you dedicate that kind of time commitment. Please, don’t short-change yourselves; this is an investment in your sexual health and wellbeing.

You and your partner will take turns being the one touched and the one doing the touching. Both of you will have 30 minutes to touch and 30 minutes to be touched: 15 minutes lying on your front; 15 minutes on your back.

Week 1—Breaking the Ice
Structured touching will be unfamiliar to you at first. I want you to use this first session to connect with each other in a sensual and playful way. I want each of you to explore every inch of your partner’s body from head to toe, first the back of the body then the front. This first week, however, avoid one another’s genitals.

This isn’t massage, where touch is directed toward pleasuring your partner. Sensate focus exercises are about gleaning information. Focus on how it feels to touch different parts of your partner’s body in a non-seductive way. Be aware of the different textures contours and temperatures. Use different pressures—heavy and light; different strokes—long and short. Use fingertips, palms, the back of your hands and forearms.

When you’ve finished the first 30 minutes, swap places. This will work best if the one being touched relinquishes control as much as possible. Keep verbal communication at a minimum. Once the hour is over, thank one another for the experience and get on with the rest of your day. Don’t try to process things right then and there, just sit with the sensations. Or better still; write your feelings in a journal that you might want to share later.

Week 2—Making Things More Interesting
Building on what you learned in the first week; this time, kick it up a notch by expanding the structured touching to include anal and genital areas. These are sexually charged zones, but the touch must remain non-seductive. Begin the exercise with some full-body touching before moving on to the new areas. Again, the emphasis is on obtaining information and awareness of physical sensations.

This is where things got a bit challenging for Trent. When his wife touched his butt, I told him I wanted him to want stay in the moment and focus on who was touching him and why. Trent’s wife was not touching him in a sexual manner; she was gathering information.

Staying in the present helps take the edge off. If anxiety builds, deep breathing can help you to relax. Your partner will probably be very nervous too, so breathing together can be helpful.

A guided touch technique can also be useful. Place one of your hands on top of your partner’s and guide it over your trigger area. Try using more or less pressure as you see fit. Remember your trigger spot is just like every other part of your body. Even though an early trauma has sensitized this area to be off bounds, sensate focus exercises will re-sensitize and reintegrate it with the rest of your body. You’ll have to trust me on this.

Week 3—Mutual Touching
This week, we move on to mutual touching. However, it must remain structured and non-seductive, both in the giving and receiving. Mutual touch will provide a more natural form of physical interaction than the previous weeks. You’ll also be shifting attention from how it feels to touch to being aware of how your partner is receiving your touch. Keep verbal communication to a minimum. Let your body tell your partner how you are enjoying the touch. If you must talk, assign a number code to the touch you are receiving: 5 being, ho-hum, 1 being Yowsa!

Remember, no matter how sexually aroused you become, this is not a prelude to sex. If you need to release your sexual tension, feel free to masturbate afterward. No partnered sex during the exercises. Okay?

Week 4—Bringin’ It Home
This last week of exercises continues the mutual touching, with a focus on overcoming any final reservations you have about your trigger zone and the pleasure you derive from it. More of your partner’s touch should focus on that area. For Trent, I advised that his wife include a nice lotion or personal lube for this investigation. (Touching with a wet hand is different from touching with a dry hand.) While concentrating on his butt with one hand, I suggested she fondle his genitals with the other. By playing with the energy around Trent’s sphincter, his wife was able to redirect it and help him reconnect his ass to the rest of his body.

Try receiving your wire’s touch in different positions. Being proactive will facilitate the healing. While she is touching your trigger area, move your butt toward her to meet the caress. You’ll immediately see how being in control will help you move beyond any remaining anxiety. You are not just being passive recipient anymore; you are actively involved with inviting the pleasure. If there are still reservations, take it slow until they too, melt away.

Once he’d freed up his ass for pleasure, I told Trent be sure to incorporate butt play into his future lovemaking repertoire, but I also reminded him to take as much time as he needed to resolve the issue. There is no quick fix. I assured him, though, with diligence and care, sensate focus would remove the fear and shame of the molestation, and replace it with a sense of wholeness, joy and pleasure.

Good luck

Livin’ it up, livin’ it up oh yeah!

Hey sex fans,

It’s that time of the week again; it’s Product Review Friday. Today’s toy comes to us by way of our favorite retailer — Adult Sex Toys .com.

Let’s check in with Dr Dick Review Crew member, Jada for this Friday’s show and tell.

Acuvibe Cordless Ebony —— $73.92

I have a fantastic toy to tell you about. Allow me to introduce you to the Acuvibe Cordless. This is workhorse wand type vibe that will knock your socks off with pleasure. Simply put, for those of us gals who need a lot of direct stimulation to get off, only a wand type vibe will do. For years and years I relied on my trusty Hitachi Magic Wand. And despite having loads of opportunities to test drive many other new-fangled vibes, nothing even came close to the sure-fire performance of the Hitachi.

Of course, there was one huge drawback to the Magic Wand; it had to be plugged in to a wall socket. So I was basically tethered to an outlet for my pleasure. I guess I didn’t mind that all that much, because it never stopped me from pleasuring myself when I felt the urge.

But now, I am tether-free, and oh what a difference it makes. I get the same powerful vibrations I used to enjoy with my trusty old Hitachi, only now I can pleasure myself when and where I like. That’s because the Acuvibe is cordless. No more fumbling around adjusting a power cord or finding I was at the end of my tether, just as my big O was cumin ‘round the corner.

And get this, the Acuvibe can run on DC power, while plugged in, or, when charged, it can go cordless. Basically, you get the best of both worlds. You’ll never, ever need batteries!

This Acuvibe is about as stylish and sleek as a wand-type vibe can get. It’s jet-black, or ebony, if you will. It has a slip-resistant coating on the handle shaft and up near the power button. This is an exceptionally resourceful design element. Because when I’m holding on to my Acuvibe, and it is a bulky handful; I don’t want it to slip out of my hands while it’s working its magic. This is especially true if my fingers are wet with lube or my own wetness.

And the Acuvibe is versatile. It is brilliant on a stiff neck or sore back. It works wonders on my feet too. My husband asked me to tell you that men will also enjoy the Acuvibe.

The Acuvibe can run for 45 minutes on a single charge. And while it is charging there’s a blue light in the base that lights up. There’s just the single power switch that turns the unit on and also changes from a high-level speed of 5700 vibrations per a minute, to a low-level speed of 4300 vibrations per a minute.

Clean up is relatively easy. Just be very careful not to get water (or lube) in the recharge port. That being said, you can wipe it down with a lint-free towel and mild soap and warm water. Or try a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.

I hope I can find attachments for my Acuvibe. The attachment that I’ve been using with my trusty Hitachi doesn’t fit on the Acuvibe, because the Acuvibe has a smaller head then the Hitachi. If anyone knows where I could find such an animal, please let me know. Leave me a message in the comments section. I’ll be forever in your debt.
Full Review HERE!


What’s up with me, Doc?

Can we talk about sexual orientation for a bit? I sure hope so, because I’m gonna go ahead and launch into it here, if you’re ready or not.

Among the load of email I get from the sexually worrisome in any given week, I will predictably get a handful of questions, mostly from guys, who are concerned that they might get gay.

The guys writing in are concerned enough by something that is going on inside of them that they’re compelled to broach the issue with me. I hasten to add that rarely are these communications the “Gee, I’m Mildly Curious” type. Rather they’re more likely to be the “Oh My God, What Wrong With Me?” type. They fear that they picked up queer cooties somewhere and their undies are all in a twist fearing they are scared for life. Ya know, kinda like the pox.

Then there are those who write in wanting to me to make sense of their sexual ramblings. They’ve been playing on both sides of the fence, so to speak; and they want me make the call. My response to each group of correspondents is virtually the same — for most of us sexual interests and behaviors are way more fluid than we care to acknowledge. For example, here’s young (20-year-old) Mel.

My first sex was with a guy, and then I got plenty of sex with girls. Then there was the time that I got fucked, it hurts on the first time but as it continued it started to feel tickly and I started to enjoy it. But I still like to have sex with girls. What do you think I am really?

What do I think you are, REALLY? Why would you want me, a total stranger, to offer an opinion on who you REALLY are? I mean, REALLY!

I gather you want me to weigh in on your sexual orientation, right? Well from the bit of information you give me, I’d say you’re able to swing both ways. And that’s a good thing, at least in terms of getting a date. You have it way over all the other folks who acknowledge being interested in only one gender.

Listen, all human sexuality is on a continuum. Have you ever heard of the Kinsey 0-6 scale? The dean of American sex research, Alfred Kinsey, his associate, Wardell Pomeroy, and their colleagues developed this scale as a way of classifying a person’s sexuality in terms of both behavior and fantasy.

This is what they developed.

0 represents an exclusive heterosexual person, who has no homosexual behavior or fantasy.
1 represents a predominantly heterosexual person, who may have incidental same sex feelings — most likely in fantasy only.
2 represents a predominantly heterosexual person, who has more than incidental same sex feelings and experience — fantasy for sure and probably behavior too.
3 represents an equally heterosexual and homosexual person, one who enjoys both other and same sex behavior and fantasy.
4 represents a predominantly homosexual person, who has more than incidental other sex feelings and experience — fantasy for sure and probably behavior too.
5 represents a predominantly homosexual person, who may have incidental same other sex feelings — most likely in fantasy only.
6 represents an exclusively homosexual person, who has no heterosexual behavior or fantasy.

These pioneering sexologists also discovered that an individual can, and often does move around on this scale at different periods in his/her life. So if you really want to know what you really are, look to both your fantasy life and your actual behaviors and make your call with that information. Just don’t be overly surprised if you find that you shift from one position to another as you grow into you sexuality.

Good luck!

To elaborate on what I just said to our young friend, Mel, I’m going to go all egghead on you. Because there is a body of sexual research that underscores just how complex this whole issue is.

For example, did you know that a recent study discovered that gay men and straight women have similar brain organization? It’s true!

Researchers in Sweden found that gay men and straight women share some characteristics in the area of the brain responsible for emotion, mood and anxiety. Brain scans also showed the same symmetry among lesbians and straight men. These findings were published in the prestigious journal — The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

The researchers quickly added that their study couldn’t determine whether the differences in brain organization were inherited or due to exposure to hormones, such as testosterone, in the womb. They were also unable to conclude if brain organization is responsible for sexual orientation.

Numerous other studies have examined the roles genetics, biology and environment play in sexual orientation. But little evidence exists that any one factor in particular plays the all-important primary role. This leads most scientists to assert that both nature and nurture play a part.

To make matters worse, some research contradicts other research, and some promising findings never pan out. (Did you know that there was once a belief that male homosexuality and finger length might be linked? Another, later discredited claim, suggested that gays have distinctive fingerprint ridge patterns.) And researchers never agree on how to interpret results even when they find a likely correlation.

Here are some fun facts you might find interesting.

• A study of 87,000 British men published in 2007 found that gay men have more older brothers than straight men do. Only big brothers count. And lesbians don’t show such patterns.

Ray Blanchard of the University of Toronto, an expert on the “big-brother effect” says that each older brother will increase a man’s chances of being gay by 33%. That’s not as dramatic as it might sound. A man’s chance of being gay is pretty low to begin with — perhaps as low as 2%. So having one older brother only ups the chance of being gay to only about 2.6%.

Curiously enough, this “big-brother effect” holds true even for gay men who weren’t raised with their older brothers. This leads researchers to believe the key to understanding this is in the mother’s womb. After giving birth to a boy, a woman’s immune system can create antibodies to foreign, male proteins in her bloodstream. Subsequent sons in the womb could be exposed to these “anti-boy” antibodies, which might affect sexual development in the brain. How freakin’ amazing is that?

• The hand you use to sign your name might have something to do with what gender you are drawn to.

An study containing more than 23,000 men and women from North America and Europe in the year 2000 found that being non-right-handed seems to increase a man’s chances of being gay by about 34%, and a woman’s by about 90%.

Again researchers guess that different-than-normal levels of testosterone in the womb — widely theorized to play a role in determining eventual sexual orientation — could nudge a fetus toward brain organization that favors left-handedness as well as same-sex attraction.

• If exposure to testosterone in the womb influences sexual orientation, scientists reckon that straight and gay people would differ in body parts strongly affected by testosterone, such as a guy’s cock.

Here we get back to Alfred Kinsey’s groundbreaking work. Researchers at Brock University in Ontario reviewed the data on 5,000 gay and straight men collected by Kinsey and his associates from the 1930s to the 1960s. Their results, published in 1999, showed that gay men had longer, thicker penises than did straight men. On average, about 6.5 inches long and 4.95 inches around when erect, versus 6.1 inches long and 4.8 inches around for straight men.

Again, no one can actually say for certain what this means. One guess is that some male fetuses are exposed to a unique mix of hormones in the womb. Testosterone levels might spike early, causing enhanced penis growth, then drop off later in pregnancy — leading to some feminine characteristics.

As you can see, there’s a still a lot of work to be done in this field. The next frontier looks to be in the subtle differences in how gay and straight brains navigate new cities, respond to erotic movies and react to the scent of sweat and urine.

Stay tuned!

Sex EDGE-U-cation With Cooper Beckett & Ginger – Podcast #270 – 03/30/11

Hey sex fans, welcome back!

I have another mighty fine Sex EDGE-U-cation show coming your way today. This is, of course, the series where we take a look at the world of fetish sex, kink and alternative lifestyles. We touch on topics both familiar and exotic. And we get to chat with prominent educators, practitioners and advocates of unconventional sexual expressions and lifestyles from all over the world.

Speaking of prominent educators, practitioners and advocates, I have two such people as my guest today and both fit that bill exceptionally well. The founder of Life On The Swingset, Cooper Beckett and his ever so lovely podcast co-host, Ginger are here and ready to knock your socks off. We will be discussing a wide range of topics, with a focus on consensual nonmonogamy.

Listen, yours truly has been around the block a time…or six, I confess to being just a wee bit jaded around the edges. Ok, I’m not easily wowed, so sue me. But my guests today have me feeling like a “gee-wiz ain’t that amazing” kid again. And we can hardly get through interview for all the laughing. Join us; don’t miss all the fun.

Ginger, Cooper and I discuss:

  • Why he launched yet another swinger orientated website;
  • The unique perspective of the Life On The Swingset podcasts;
  • The helpful articles on their site;
  • Body image concerns for swingers;
  • Erectile dysfunction in swing-dom;
  • Tips for communicating with other swingers;
  • Coming out as alt;
  • The Links section on the Life On The Swingset site.

Be sure to visit Coop & Ginger on their site HERE! Find him on Facebook HERE! Read her blog HERE! And follow her on Twitter HERE!


Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.


Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Stockroom.