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Spank The Monkey

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Hey sex fans!

It’s Friday, and not only that, it’s Product Review Friday!

Over the years we’ve had a great relationship with the wonderful folks over at Big Teaze Toys. But sadly, we haven’t had any new products from them for a long, long time. In fact, the last review we did for them was in November 2009. (By the way, you can find all our Big Teaze Toys reviews HERE!

Happily, the drought is now over. Some weeks ago I talked Big Teaze Toys into sending me their newest creation. And oh boy, howdy! But wait, I don’t want to spoil the fun. Dr Dick Review Crew members Jack & Karen are here with their review.

VërSpanken Bumpy —— $31.29
VërSpanken Smooth Water Wieners —— $24.99

VërSpanken001

Jack & Karen
Karen: “My goodness, it’s been over a year since our last review. Where does the time go? We were busy with a move and then we welcomed a baby boy, our first, into our family. No wonder we’ve been out of the loop for so long.”
Jack: “Well, we’re glad to be back. And we have an amazing product to tell you about. It’s called a VërSpanken. I have the bumpy one, but it also comes in smooth and wavy. I’ll get to that in a minute.”
Karen: “I was kinda hoping we’d get a couple-oriented product as our first toy of the new year, so I was a little disappointed when I discovered the VërSpanken is toy for guys. That’s what I thought until I took a closer look.”
Jack: “It’s true, the VërSpanken is a male masturbation toy, but Karen and I have been using it together and having a ball. I only wish I had this thing that last couple of months of Karen’s pregnancy. I wouldn’t have worn out my hand quite so much.”VER-SPANKEN-WAVY-WITH-FOAMWIENERS-SOLID-PURPLE
Karen: “Since the baby I haven’t been feeling as sexy as I used to. I’m so glad my libido is slowly returning. But I still don’t often feel like getting involved in full-on sex and that’s where the VërSpanken really comes in handy. I don’t have to leave Jack high and dry just because I don’t feel like sex.”
Jack: “Ok, I think it’s high time for us to tell you everything you need to know about the VërSpanken. I know this is gonna sound weird, but my initial impression was that it looked like this big alien pussy.”
Karen: “He was looking at it vertically, but if you turn it sideways and look at it horizontally, it looks like a big alien mouth. It’s actually pretty comical.”
Jack: “Karen’s right! I guess you can tell I had pussy on the brain when I first saw the VërSpanken. That’s what happens when you go without for so long. Anyhow, there’s this black hard plastic housing that is hinged at the base and snaps shut at the top. When you open the black plastic case you see two foam inserts. These inserts come in three fun vibrant colors and three textures. These inserts are made of TPR (Thermo Plastic Rubber).”
Karen: “Here’s how it works. You open the black plastic housing, lube up the deliciously spongy inserts, put your man’s penis between them and close the housing once again. It looks hilarious, but it drove Jack crazy with pleasure. The inserts make an encompassing sensation. You can move it up and down over the penis or twist it from side to side.”
Jack: “It’s true! It’s totally wacky, but oh so effective. Pumping my dick in and out of the VërSpanken is a kick. It’s so tight and the sensations are fantastic. I’ve used a few masturbation sleeves in the past, but I’ve never felt anything like this. It’s a one-size-fits-all kind a thing, and for once that claim is actually true. No matter the size of your cock, the VërSpanken will work for you.”water wieners
Karen: “But that’s not all! Along with the VërSpanken we also got two additional inserts called Water Wieners. Here’s where it really gets fun. The Water Wieners are like water balloons that you can heat or chill before popping them into the black plastic housing. This adds to the sensation play. One evening last week I blindfolded Jack and restrained his hands so he couldn’t touch his penis. I replaced the bumpy foam inserts with the warmed Water Wieners, lubed up the VërSpanken, and slipped it over his erection. I thought he was going to hit the roof.”
Jack: “Damn right! Holy shit, what a rush. I didn’t know if the Water Wieners were going to cold or hot and I had no control over how the Karen was using it on me. She just did what she pleased till I begged her to make me cum.”
Karen: “I loved being in control of his orgasm like that. Obviously a guy can use the VërSpanken solo, but I think couple fun is the best. I also like that it’s so easy clean. The squishy inserts easily pop out of the hard plastic housing and everything goes into a sink with warm soapy water. Then rinse and air dry; it couldn’t be easier. It’s safe, fun, and eco-friendly.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

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The Art Of The Humble Hand Job

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Name: Jenna
Gender: Female
Age: 27
Location: Arlington, VA
Dr Dick my husband of 4 years has an exceptionally large penis. He likes nothing better than for me to rub him to climax. We have intercourse and we do oral on each other and he likes that just fine. He just prefers to watch me use my hands on him. Do you think that’s odd?

There ain’t nothin’ wrong with your hubby, Jenna, he just loves himself a good old-fashioned hand job. Here’ the deal with a lot of us folks who own our own cock. We first become acquainted with the pleasure our willie can offer through handling ourselves. And when it comes right down to it, there is rarely a mouth, pussy or ass that can compete with the variety of stroke and firmness of grip that a hand can provide. Simply stated, the humble hand job is the ideal way to pleasure your man. Just remember, even though jerkin your guy off isn’t particularly exotic, as far as sex acts go, it never has to be boring for you or him.

handjobI am of the mind that a brilliant wank begins with a first class lube. Many guys swear by silicone-based lubes for this purpose, but a hand job connoisseur like your hubby will probably have his very own favorite. Start off with just enough lube to make things slick, you don’t want to over do it. Get a feel for his johnson and what you have to work with. Skillfully draw back the skin of his rod toward the root of his dick till it is taut. This is much easier to do on uncut men, but even cut men will have some skin left for move. While you’re doing this feel free to uooh and ahhh a lot. Your man will get off on you admiring his unit.

This is a perfect time to marvel at the work of art before you. For, as we all know, a hard man is good to find. You say, Jenna, that you man is hung big…lucky you. Can you wrap your fingers around the base of his unit and get a good grip there? If not, you’ll want to consider a cockring for this purpose. If you don’t know what a cockring is or how to put one on, you can find my cockring tutorial, Cockring Crash Course on my product review site, DrDickSexToyReviews.com.  In fact, if you use a cockring, you’ll free up both your hands for what’s to come.

Now that you got yourself a really nice boner goin’, get between his legs. Take his cock between the palms of your hands, interlock your fingers and guide your hands up and down his shaft. Your thumbs should be on the underside of his dick, so that on each stroke up and down, you hit his frenulum with the pads of your thumb. Now with his cock still between your palms, rub your hands together, like if you were warming them. This will provide a great new sensation for your guy.

Hold his cock in one hand and with the well-lubed palm of your other hand, slowly move it in nice lazy circles all over his dickhead. This is a particularly delicate procedure, especially if your man is uncut. His dickhead will be super sensitive, now that he is fully aroused. And don’t forget, if you are using a cockring, his pecker will be even more engorged than usual, making it hypersensitive. Be sure to ask for hand in pantsfeedback on this move. If he finds this too uncomfortable, move on to something more pleasurable. Here’s a tip: us men being who we are will, no doubt, already be giving you directions on what to do and how to do it down there. So all you have to do is follow his lead. Remember, he knows his way around his joint better than anyone.

Don’t forget to service his nuts. Since a guy’s jewels are less sensitive to touch than his dickhead, you can manhandle them a lot more. Squeeze and tug and even gently slap those babies to your heart’s delight. While you are doing that, and with his dick flat against his belly, shimmy the heel of your hand up and down the underside of his cock. You see how you are incorporating different sensations and movements all at the same time? Keep this up and your man will be putty in your hands, no pun intended.

Interlace your fingers and make a tight passageway through the palms of your hands. Pump up and down his shaft this way. As you get to the top of his cock close the passageway even tighter. Then make him squeeze his way in as you slide back down to the bottom. Then with one hand rapidly following the other in only a downward stroke, make like a perpetual penetration tunnel. This will make his eyes roll back in his head in ecstasy.

This might be a good time to incorporate other parts of your body besides your hands. Most men get off on a titty –fuck. Cozy his cock between your boobs and have him hump away. You can also use your feet in the same fashion. Guys can really get off fuckin’ a chick’s feet.

hand-job-13Now, back to the hand job. Rhythmically stroke only his rod. Watch as his dickhead swells and turns red or even purple. Once it’s bright red, use your fingertips on the tip of his dick like you are turning a doorknob, first to the right, then to the left. Lightly at first, but slowly increase the pressure till he begs you to stop. Now you got him right where you want him.

Here’s where things can get really interesting. When he’s least expecting it, move one of your hands down past his nuts and taint. You know what a taint is, don’t cha? That’s the patch of skin between his balls and his asshole. It got its name from taint ass and taint balls, ya get it? Anyhow, once past his taint you’ll find his rosebud. With a well-lubed finger massage his pucker. If this is virgin territory for you and the hubby, he’s in for the thrill of his life. Continue to stroke both his cock and asshole. Don’t be afraid to try and push your fingertip past his sphincter. If he lets you inside, you will have access to his prostate. But even if he doesn’t, massaging the outside of his hole will bring him very close to an explosive conclusion.

If you’re ready to finish him off, so to speak, pick up the pace of your stroke. He will be breathing heavily now and he’ll look down over his chest at the miracle happening between his legs. Tell him to throw his legs in the air and spread them as far apart as possible. This will add considerably to the muscle tension that you’ve already built up. And a thunderous orgasm is all about muscle tension.jizz6

Now bring this puppy home. Lick his balls, finger his hole and beat his meat like it owes you money. Insist that he keeps his feet in he air and his legs splayed. Momentarily, he will begin to quake with building mini-orgasms. He will no doubt try to buck himself to conclusion, but don’t let him. For the moment you’re in charge down here, not him. Tease him one last time as he nears ejaculation. When he’s almost there, suddenly stop what you’re doing. This will, of course, drive him crazy. And don’t resume your stroking till he begs for it.

It will probably only take a few more strokes before he gives up the spunk. Keep your face, or at least your eyes, out of the way, because when he finally blows it will be explosive. If you’ve toyed with him for any length of time, you will have built up quite a load and it will shoot in spurts till he is empty.

His cock will be hypersensitive after he cums, so be gentle.

Good luck

 

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Put A Ring On It

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Hey sex fans!

It’s our first Product Review Friday of 2013! And this week we feature two more innovative products from the creative folks at Perfect Fit Brand. As you all probably know the Perfect Fit Brand is responsible for one of the best product of 2012 — the Best Product or Toy for MenFat Boy Cock Extender.

We’ve come to expect great things from this fine, young company. In fact, this is our 4th Perfect Fit Brand review and each and every product has been a winner. To keep track of all our PFB reviews use the search function in the header of DrDickSexToyReviews.com, type in Perfect Fit Brand, and PRESTO!

Dr Dick Review Crew members, Ken & Denise are here to tell us about the two cockrings they’ve been fiddlin’ around with.

Cruiser Cock Ring —— $19.60

Silaskin Cruiser Cock Ring —— $19.60

Ken & Denise
Denise: “I can’t believe it’s 2013 already. I was just looking back on all the reviews we’ve done since we joined this effort way back in July of 2008. We’ve had some amazing fun.”Cruiser
Ken: “We’ve learned a lot too. I mean, even the products we didn’t like all that much taught us something about ourselves, and our sexual response. It’s amazing what ya can learn when you’re paying attention. But I never thought we’d stick around for as long as we have.”
Denise: “Every time we think it’s time to hang up our Review Crew mantle Dr Dick draws us back in with another smutty proposition. He is such a charmer.”
Ken: “Today we’re gonna talk about two different, but very similar cockrings from Perfect Fit Brand. The similarities include size, shape, texture and color. The difference is in the elasticity and how snug the constriction.”
Denise: “Ken has at least a dozen different cockrings. I used to think this was silly and excessive, but now I know better. There is a bewildering array of cockrings on the market these days. The Dr Dick Review Crew has reviewed many different kinds. Look for the Category pull-down menu in the sidebar of drdicksextoyreviews.com and look for the category ‘Cockrings’. Dr Dick even has a very helpful posting called Cockring Crash Course.”
Ken: “Thanks for mentioning that, Denise. Ya know there are still a lot of guys out there, straight guys mostly I’m sorry to say, that don’t know the first thing about a cockring. This amazes me, because a cockring is a man’s best friend.”Cruiser02
Denise: “When Ken wears a cockring, his erection is stronger, harder, and longer lasting. He tells me his penis is more sensitive too. Of course, I enjoy the benefits of his stiff stiffy as much as he does.”
Ken: “It’s true! I’m rarely concerned about erection problems that seem to frequently plague other guys, because I always have a cockring near to hand. That way I can avoid the pharmaceuticals like Viagra and Levitra.”
Denise: “And I think cockrings look totally hot too, so there’s that. Ok, let’s talk about the two rings we have today.”
Ken: “Right! The first is the beefy Cruiser Cock Ring. It’s by far my favorite. But I was leery at first. I like easy on — easy off cockrings, like this one, because I hate fiddling with a lot of the adjustable ones that are out there. And the non-adjustable ones; well, they’re fine, but you have to have an exact fit or they are ineffective. But the problem with most of the one-size-fits-all rings is that they don’t provide the necessary constriction, which is the whole reason for having a cock ring in the first place. The Cruiser Cock Ring is different from all the other stretchy one-size-fits-all rings I’ve tried, because even though it is remarkably stretchy, it also has some really effective constriction capacity. And when it comes to cockrings, I prefer a snug fit.”
Denise: “Do you mind if I chime into this manly discourse and say that the Cruiser Cock Ring is absolutely adorable? It looks like a fat little doughnut!”
Ken: “Actually, it looks like a little hot rod tire, not a doughnut. It even has tread marks on the outer circumference, for god’s sake. Women!”
Denise: “I stand corrected. Men!”silaskin
Ken: “The Cruiser Cock Ring is super easy to put on, just stretch the ring between your fingers with each hand and simply pull it over your cock and balls. You won’t believe how comfortable the Cruiser Cock Ring feels. And like Denise said earlier, it makes sex much more enjoyable for her as well as me. The Cruiser Cock Ring is made of a proprietary material called PF Blend. It is a combination of silicone and TPR (thermoplastic rubber). The Cruiser Cock Ring is safe with all lubes. And it is easy to clean with mild soap and water.”
Denise: “I like that it’s phthalate-free, nonporous, and hypoallergenic.”
Ken: “The second ring we have to show you is the Silaskin Cruiser Cock Ring. It looks pretty much like its beefy brother, but it is made of a slightly different blend of material. While it too is a proprietary blend of silicone and TPR (called Silaskin), this material is even stretchier than the Cruiser Cock Ring. It is irresistibly soft and comes in both black and frosted.”
Denise: “Mmmm, like a soft squishy frosted doughnut!”
Ken: “See how you are? Like I was saying, the Silaskin Cruiser Cock Ring is a lot stretcher than its brother. If you’re one of those guys who like cockring with a more relaxed fit, then this one’s for you.”OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
Denise: “I’d like to say a few words to the women in our audience, if I may. Ladies, I hope you haven’t tuned out this review just because it’s a product for men. That would be a big mistake. Before I met Ken I knew nothing about cockrings. None of the boyfriends I had before Ken had ever used one. But, now that I look back on those years, there were certainly plenty of opportunities when a cockring would have saved the day, if you know what I mean. That’s why I believe that if you are informed about cockrings, their use, and their effectiveness in getting and keeping an erection, you might be just the right person to introduce your man to the wonderful world of cockrings.”
Ken: “That’s such a good point. Sometimes us men folk don’t know what’s good for us till the women in our lives tell us.”
Denise: “I’m so glad to hear you say that!”
Complete Article HERE!

ENJOY

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Bustin’ A Nut!

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Soooo glad the holidays are over. I’m also looking forward to another year of doin’ the Dr Dick thing. Let’s kick things off with this oh so brief question from Chris.

Name: Chris
Gender: Male
Age: 21
Location: Portland, OR
Can a man have an orgasm without ejaculating?

You betcha, Chris! And not only that, but it is relatively easy for a man to become multi-orgasmic. On the other hand, it’s very, very rare indeed for a guy to be multi-ejaculatory. This phenomenon, while not completely unheard of, is generally something that only happens to young men.male_masturbation

It’s pretty evident to anyone who is paying the least amount of attention that an ejaculation is not the same thing as an orgasm. And anyone paying the least amount of attention would also know that it possible to ejaculate without having an orgasm. But that’s the problem isn’t it? Most of us men folk don’t really take the time to notice how our bodies work and so we miss the distinction between the two.

What do ya say we take a minute to discern the difference between an ejaculation and an orgasm? Maybe this will encourage those in my audience who haven’t stopped to notice, to pay a bit more attention to their sexual responses. When we shoot, or dribble as the case may be, a load, or dab as the case may be, of spooge out our cock; this is called an ejaculation. When we have undulating waves of pleasure that seems to rise up from deep inside our pelvis; this is an orgasm. There are big ones and smaller ones. Obviously, these two responses — ejaculation and orgasm — often happen simultaneously. In fact, the muscle contractions of the one often add to the intensity of the other. But still they are independent of one another.

Another thing, a guy can ejaculate and orgasm without an erection. Just because there’s no stiffy doesn’t mean the nerve endings are disconnected. But again, few men bother to discover the joys a soft cock is capable of. And some even have shame when they have difficulty getting an erection. That’s too bad, because it just adds to the performance anxiety.

1sexual_response_cycle_maleAn orgasm is an orgasm, regardless if you are a man or a woman. They are simply waves of pleasure generated by the release of sexual tension and the accompanying muscle contractions. If a guy is to become multi-orgasmic he’s got to learn to ride the wave without rushing to conclude the event with an ejaculation. Some guys do this through edge play, others through tantric sex practices. Either way, the end result is the same; prolonging the pleasure with the intention of building to an explosive orgasm, which may or may not include an ejaculation.

In terms of physiology, an ejaculation is merely a muscle reflex. These can happen independent of conscious pleasuring, like in a wet dream. The same is true for someone with a spinal cord injury. He will indeed ejaculate with the proper stimulus, he just can’t feel it. At the same time, both paraplegic men and women report having orgasmic feelings that are not the result of any genital contact. They say their orgasmic sensations come through kissing, nipple play, neck and ear stimulation, or other kinds of erotic touch.

I know several able-bodied men who also claim to have nipple-generated orgasms. I even jizz009knew a woman once who claimed she was able to “fantasize herself to orgasm.” Our bodies are amazing that way. Unfortunately, most of us never discover the tremendous capacities of our bodies because we condition ourselves to expect the same response from the exact same stimuli.

Ya know how some folks talk about having different kinds of orgasms — vaginal orgasms, G-spot orgasms, clitoral orgasms, prostate orgasms and the like? Well it’s not that one orgasm is physiologically different than another; it’s more an issue of how complex our bodies are. We are hot wired for pleasure in several places on our body. We can discover that stimulating different pleasure centers will achieve a similar response.

Men who don’t take the time to explore the capacities of their bodies basically lose out. It’s like having a $100,000 Ferrari automobile to drive. Then only driving it in first gear. We miss out on so much in our rush to cum. We conflate the two very different experiences — ejaculation and orgasm, leaving a vast territory of pleasure unacknowledged, let alone unexplored.

Good luck

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And The Winners Are…

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Hey Sex Fans!

It’s a special edition of Product Review Friday. For those of you who missed my Final Podcast of 2012 — Podcast #357, posted last Wednesday, 12/19/12, it’s time to announce this year’s Best Adult Products List For 2012.

We have five categories this year — The Best Product or Toy for Men; The Best Product or Toy for Women; The Best Product or Toy for Couples; The Best Kinky Product or Toy; and The Best Lube or Lotion.

We reviewed some amazing adult products and sex toys this year in all five categories. So coming up with the very best in each category was a bit of a challenge. But despite the difficulty we completed our list and here are members of the Dr Dick Review Crew to reveal the winners.

Jada with The Best Product or Toy for WomenBloom.

Leaf-Bloom-Hand

Mick & Chuck with The Best Lube or LotionCumShotLube.

cum-Shot-Lube-clean

Jack & Karen with The Best Product or Toy for CouplesWE VIBE 3.

we-vibe-3-couples-450x470

  • We have a tie for The Best Kinky Product or Toy for 2012, and curiously enough, they both come from the same company, the wonderful folks at Spareparts.

Carlos with the Deuce Male Harness.

Deuce02

Christa with the Joque Harness.

spareparts Joque

Glenn and Hank with The Best Product or Toy for MenFat Boy Cock Extender.

Fat Boy03

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