Stand by someone, ya’ll!
Location: Southern Calif
I’ve been a widower for 9 years now. But before she died it was always my fantasy to see her suck another guy’s cock. Since she’s passed away I’ve had this fantasy of me sucking another guy’s cock. This never crossed my mind before she died. Can you help me understand this?
Hmmm, Frasier, let me see if I got this straight. You’ve been a widower for 9 years. However, while your wife was still living you had a fantasy of watching her suck another guy’s cock. Ok, not a particularly odd fetish that. But I am unclear about one thing. Did this wife sucking other guy’s cock actually happen, or not? Not that this is particularly important, just wondering. So, now 9 years later you say you suddenly have the urge to smoke some pole yourself, even though you’ve never thought of doing this before. Is this correct?
Ahhh even if I understand you correctly, I don’t get the question. Wait, maybe there is no question? Maybe you’re just curious about why a 63 year old confirmed, dyed in the wool straight heterosexual guy like you suddenly realizes he want to suck himself some cock. I can see how you might find this little discovery a bit disconcerting, but it’s certainly not unprecedented. I guess you’re being startled out of our sexual complacency, huh? Not to worry, it may simply be situational. You are probably worried that this makes you queer, right? I think we can safely say that your curious new interest means no such thing.
Let’s just say for the sake of argument that you decide to pursue this little jones of yours and you take the opportunity to wrap your lips around some other dude’s johnson. Ok, then what? Well, basically nothing. If you find, after this little adventure, that you don’t much like sucking cock and that you’re really still into pussy. No harm done. You experimented a little and you now have more information about yourself then you did before the experimental blowjob. You may simply discover that you only like having your female partners do the cock sucking while you do the watching. Like I said, a relatively harmless and unremarkable fetish.
But, what if you decide to pursue this little jones of yours and you actually take the opportunity to wrap your lips around some other guy’s johnson and you really like it. Well that’s a horse of different color, isn’t it? Then you’ll have to come to grips with the realization that despite you long history of straight heterosexualism, you might be, at this point in your life, kinda bisexual. How fun for you!
There is of course another explanation. Some exclusively straight heterosexual guys suck dick not because it’s a turn on…the dick sucking that is. They do it to be submissive. Alrighty, whatever turns one’s crank!
I think we can safely say that for the most part, humans are not sexual automatons. Given a more permissive and sex-positive culture then our own, we’d all be more fluid in our eroticism and sexual expression. It’s true; you are in unfamiliar waters, sexually speaking. But it’s just a little adventure, not the end of the world. I hope you give yourself permission to experiment a bit.
Ya know, you could hook up with a male escort or see an erotic masseur for a little taste. In fact, I’d tell the provider what you just told me. Let him know you’re looking to experiment a little, but you’re unsure how to begin. I’ll bet the provider will be very helpful. Write back sometime, I’d love to know how it goes for you.
Location: Southern Calif
Love doing tina with masturbation and watching really hot porn. Think this is just social fun?
Nope, I don’t Joey. Despite the prevalence of this dastardly drug, there is nothing fun about tina…crystal meth for those unfamiliar with the term “tina”. If you love doing tina for whatever reason, I’d wager you’re hooked on that shit.
Listen, I’m not prude when it comes to using some drugs recreationally. But I think that we’d do well to stick to those drugs that are more natural. The less processing involved (and meth is the worst in that regard) and fewer added chemicals (OMG, the crap they put in crystal) the better, in my humble opinion.
Despite the admitted high ya get, recent research shows that long-term meth use destroys nerve cells in the brain that regulate dopamine, muscle movement, memory, and decision-making. This damage can be wide-spread and permanent.
Your body reacts to crystal meth the same way it reacts to danger. Crystal floods the body with adrenaline — the same hormone that prepares us for emergencies. Adrenaline gives a super-charge of strength and endurance so the body can deal with danger and injury. But artificially triggering this response over and over again will have serious consequences.
When you use crystal, your nervous system shifts into high gear. The brain floods your body with “danger” messages. Your body responds immediately to what it thinks is a threat. It prepares to fight or to run away. Common body responses to perceived danger include:
- Pupils dilate to let in more light.
- Hair stands on end (“getting goose bumps”).
- Blood vessels just under the skin constrict.
- Body temperature goes up
Regular, long-term crystal use will diminish sores of neurotransmitters. Episodes of paranoia and anxiety become more frequent and longer lasting. Blocked blood vessels within the brain can lead to increased chances of stroke.
Crystal fucks with your dopamine levels. Dopamine delivers a sense of reward and pleasure. It is also associated with body movement. Too little dopamine causes paralysis or a Parkinson’s-like tremors and rigidity. Too much dopamine and a person can become paranoid, hear voices and get twisted thoughts. Sound familiar?
Crystal fucks with your serotonin levels. Serotonin is involved in regulating sleep and sensory perception. It plays a role in moods and regulating body temperature. Serotonin is involved with many emotional disorders like schizophrenia, phobias, super-aggressive states and obsessive-compulsive behavior. Too much serotonin can make it difficult (or impossible) to have an orgasm. And of course there’s the dreaded “crystal dick”…the inability to get it up.
Joey, listen up! You’re way too young with too much of your life ahead of you to self-inflict so much serious irreparable damage on yourself. If this weren’t such a troublesome drug, there wouldn’t be such a virulent anti and reformed tweeker community out there. Want to know the real truth about “tina” check in at: crystalmeth.org. You’ll be glad you did.
Location: Raleigh, NC
My boyfriend and I are 20. We’ve been together for almost two years and we’re in love. But we have a problem. I’m pro-choice and he isn’t. He says he won’t have sex with me unless I agree to have the kid if I get pregnant. I told him there’s no way I can agree to that. It’s my choice because it’s my body. But then he says it’s his choice to stop having sex with me because he disagrees with my views. Where do I go from here? I’m not ready to start a family; we’re not even married.
Ya know, Shelly, if men got pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.
Where do you go from here? Simply put? Hit the road; or better yet, tell him to. This dude who you say you love and loves you back is actually trying to control you with his dick. That’s never a good thing. It would also set a dangerous precedent for the rest of your relationship. Because if he gets his way on this one; mark my words, he’ll try the same dickhead ploy over and over again. I realize you don’t have much of a frame of reference about these things, being as young as you are. But healthy adult relationships don’t come with sexual ultimatums. EVER.
There is of course a way to have your cake and eat it too. You can enjoy a full and rich sex life and avoid unplanned pregnancies all at the same time. Let me introduce you kids to a little concept we call contraception.
WTF, you’re both 20 years old, you should have a handle on elementary notion already. Where have you been all your life? Both of you should be well versed in several methods of contraception. And you both should practice at least one foolproof method. If you are too immature to put this together, I can assure you you’re way to immature to commence fucking. Get it?
Here’s the deal. I’m not a big fan of abortion either, especially when it’s used as the primary means of avoiding a pregnancy. And since there’s a very safe and easy way to avoid this unfortunate moral dilemma, you guys would be fools not to take advantage of it. But wait! What if the BF is opposed to contraception? It sure sounds to me like he might. Well then you really are shit out of luck. No fucking for you till you’re married. No, till you are absolutely ready to conceive, even if that’s well after you’re married. Because you know you’re gonna get knocked up the very first time you let him near your pussy.
Mutual masturbation works an alternative to full on fucking. But probably there’s some prohibition against that in his world too, huh? So you see why I said at the beginning that your best option is to hit the road, or tell him to.
Good luck ya’ll
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Dear Dr. Dick I am a 36yr old male, I have come clean with myself and my family about my sexuality about 2 years ago. But before then, I was very much in the closet about my sexuality not only to friends and family but also to myself.To see me or to talk to me you would never know I’m gay, although I believe that this is just a label. I don’t believe I ever want to come out completely. Whenever a conversation comes up at work or I attend a briefing on sexual harassment, there is always a comment about homosexuality, I blush every time this comes up.When I was younger I hid my sexuality and tried to fool myself into thinking I wasn’t. But of course you know that will eat a person alive. I know it did me. So I sought counseling and paved the way for me coming out to a few close people.Anyway, I still struggle with the issue. On the outside I’m as straight as ever, but on the inside I’m gay. Do you have any suggestions to help me over this acceptance of myself?
Honey, as far as Dr. Dick is concerned you haven’t even begun to come out. Sorry to be so blunt, but just identifying your sexual preference to a few individuals “coming clean” as you suggest (hey, we’re talkin about being gay here, not confessing to being an ax murderer) is not the moral equivalent of coming out. If you can’t celebrate your sexuality and, I might add, integrate it into you whole personhood, then you’re not OUT. PERIOD.
It is true what you say about being in the closet and getting eaten alive in there. But if you’re queer on the inside (whatever that means) and straight on the outside (God forbid) then you’re still a danger to yourself. This, is after all, the very definition of schizophrenia, darlin’.
I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess that you still have loads of shame about who you are. I encourage you to get back into counseling ASAP until you resolve that. The world does not need any more fence sitters. You’re either gay or you’re not. You either celebrate that (and I don’t mean waving a flag or parading around like a lunatic) or ya don’t.
I don’t suppose any of us is ever really free of all our own internalized homophobia any more than other oppressed and marginalized minorities can rid themselves of their internalized self-doubt. No one can completely escape the prejudices and biases that surround them. But most of us make our way regardless. That’s why coming out is so important. It empowers us. It increases our self-esteem. Honesty about our life increases our personal integrity. When we stop hiding or denying this important part of our life we have greater freedom of self-expression. And we become more available for happy, healthy and honest relationships. So you see, you have a ways to go.
My hubby wants me to have a 3 way with him and another women and I don’t know and I am a little scared I might like it and he wants to have the other women lick me while he plugs her from behind and I am afraid to. We have done a 3 way with him and another guy pound me but they didn’t touch each other so what should I do he has 2 female friends that are willing to try it and I don’t want to lose my hubby so what should I do? — mom in need of help
Very interesting, Liz! And ahhh, what would be so wrong with you enjoying some hot girl on girl action? Isn’t that the purpose? This is where so many men and a whole lot of women are so very different. Men have more permission to be sexually assertive. But if you plan on being an equal partner in these sexual adventures, you’d better buck up, darlin’! To paraphrase the immortal Fats Waller; Find out what you like and how you like it; then make it happen just that way.
Let’s take a closer look at what you tell me about you and your randy husband. Apparently he has no reservations about asking you to have a 3-way with another chick. He thinks it’ll be hot and he wants to go for it. He also has no reservations about a 3-way with another guy, just as long as he doesn’t have to interact with the other dude. You see, he’s pretty clear about what is a turn on for him and he doesn’t hesitate to draw you into his little adventures, does he? Do you just go along with what he dreams up so you don’t lose the big lug? Or is there something enjoyable in it for you? I sure hope it’s the later, darling, because we shouldn’t be doing things, particularly sexual things, under duress — either physical or emotional. If it’s merely a question of perhaps enjoying the attentions of other woman a little too much, I think you’re entitled to that. You could even keep this your little secret, if you wanted to.
Trying new things can be really fun especially when your playing with people you like and are turned on to. If you decide to go for it, I suggest the three of you start your encounter by getting a bite to eat together. A little food and a few cocktails can be a great start to the adventure. You’ll notice almost immediately that a 2-girl and a guy 3-way is a whole lot different than a 2-guy and a girl 3-way. No doubt all three of you will be a little nervous, so make this part of the outing sexy fun and flirtatious. Practice your seduction skills on the other woman. You will soon discover the sexual hierarchy…and there always is one in these kinds of encounters. Make sure you are comfortable with all arrangements made and make sure that they are all mutually agreed upon. If there are any ground rules, this is the time to mention them. The more you discover about your new partner in this non-sexual environment the more prepared you will be for the rest of the evening. If it were me; I’d want to get a sense of how experienced this other chick is at having a 3-way. Women tend to be more accommodating in terms of bisexual behaviors than are men folk. Maybe you could ask her about her sexual fantasies and share some of your own with her. Just remember, you are an equal partner in this ménage. I’d certainly make sure that the she knew what turned you on just so everyone is satisfied in the end.
I hope you write back and let me know how the encounter goes. My interest, of course, is purely scientific, don’t ‘cha know. But I will want all the gory details. And a detailed photo essay would also be appreciated. 😉
After a guy ejaculates can he have another ejaculation? Like after I cum if I put on a cock ring will it stay hard enough to continue with intercourse and achieve another orgasm? I basically want to cum twice in a row.
Yep, that’s doable. All depends on your particular refractory period and how turned on you are. Let’s take a quick look at the male sexual response cycle again, just so we understand what we’re talkin’ about. Ok?
The sexual response cycle refers to the sequence of physiological changes that occur as we become sexually aroused and move through to afterglow. The sexual response cycle has four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. Both women and men experience these phases of course, although the timing usually is very different for each gender. In addition, the intensity of the response and the time spent in each phase will vary from person to person and from situation to situation. That’s why I say cuming twice in a row is doable. But is it gonna happen for you? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see, huh?
Ok, here goes…
Phase 1: Excitement (or the boner stage)
- Muscle tension increases.
- Heart rate quickens and breathing accelerates.
- Our skin may become flushed particularly on our chest and back).
- Our nipples may become erect.
- Blood flow to the genitals increases, thus the boner.
- Our balls swell, our sack tightens, and we may drip precum. Mmmm, precum!
Phase 2: Plateau (or the strokin’ or pumpin’ stage)
- Everything in phase 1 intensifies.
- Our balls may pull up into body cavity.
- Our breathing, heart rate and blood pressure increase.
- Our toes curl, face contorts and hands clench.
Phase 3: Orgasm (or the “yabba dabba doo” stage)
- Involuntary muscle contractions begin.
- Blood pressure, heart rate and breathing excelerate.
- There’s a rapid intake of oxygen.
- Muscles in the feet spasm.
- There is a sudden, forceful release of sexual tension.
- Rhythmic contractions of the muscles at the base of our cock result in the ejaculation of spunk.
- A “sex flush” may appear all over our body.
Phase 4: Resolution (or the “I need a nappy” stage)
- During this phase, the body slowly returns to its normal level of functioning, and the parts of your body that swelled and engorged return to their previous size and color.
- This phase is marked by a general sense of well-being, enhanced intimacy and, often, fatigue.
- Most women are capable of a rapid return to the orgasm phase with further sexual stimulation and may experience multiple orgasms.
Men, on the other hand need a recovery time after orgasm, this period is called the refractory period. This doesn’t have to be the end of sex. Like you suggest, a cockring may prohibit your dick from going soft. But don’t count on an immediate second orgasm, even if your dick stays hard. Don’t forget, the duration of the refractory period varies and is situational. It will also increase as we age.
Good luck ya’ll