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The Naughty & The Nice

Just in time for the holidays, here’s my Naughty and Nice list.

NICE

NAUGHTY

NICELY NAUGHTY

Happy Holidays!

Backdoor Basics at Wild At Heart

Hey sex fans!

Particularly those of you who are living in and around the Emerald City. I have some swell news for ya’ll. I’m scheduled to present one of my most popular workshops at Seattle’s very own woman owned sex emporium, Wild At Heart.

The title of the Workshop is
Backdoor Basics

Sunday, December 16, 2012 7:00 PM

Ticket information HERE!

Learn the ins and outs of anal pleasure in this introductory class to backdoor fun. Anal play is a source of curiosity for many, but often surrounded by fear that it’s gonna be painful, or worse- messy. This class will help answer those questions and put those fears to rest.

We’ll cover a wide variety of topics, including:

  • Anal anatomy
  • Preparation and hygiene
  • Lubes, toys, and safer sex
  • Beginner booty play
  • All-important warm-up techniques
  • Anal sex myths and misconceptions
  • Sex Toy giveaways
  • and so much more!

We all have one, lets relax and enjoy it!

This workshop is open to all regardless of gender, orientation, or relationship status.

Workshop attendees also get a 15% discount on any store merchandise while they’re at the workshop.

This workshop is based on my wildly popular tutorials — Liberating The B.O.B. Within and Finessing That Ass Fuck.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Looking for Mr Right

Name: Eric
Gender: Male
Age: 25
Location: New Jersey
I’m 25, openly gay, and have never been in a relationship. I consider myself intellectual & attractive, with a great sense of humor–many people that I meet are amazed that I’m not taken. I tend to be hyper-analytic and super-honest, neither of which has gotten me very far in my dating life. I’m very self-aware and work hard at self-improvement and reinvention. I just can’t seem to find quality men! I don’t care for the gay scene, and I hate the depersonalizing nature of many gay online dating sites. All too often, I feel frustrated with being single, and I end up having a random hookup just to be close to a guy. Do you have any advice? I seem to be stuck in cycle of dating, disappointment, and reinvention. What can I do to meet Mr. Right?

I do have some advice, pup. I hope you will take it to heart. My first suggestion is that you jettison the whole Mr. Right concept. My experience tells me that most folks who are stymied in their search for a partner have too precise a mental picture of his/her ideal mate. This “knight in shinning armor” concept rarely translates very well into the real world. No one is perfect; all humans have flaws that those who love them learn to overlook. Some people, both women and men, gay and straight, have such a specific script of the person they are looking to nest with that they dismiss out of hand loads of plausible potential prospects, which is a huge mistake.

For example, I had a client in San Francisco, a straight guy. He wasn’t particularly handsome, in fact he was kinda dumpy, but he was a genuinely sweet man with lots to offer a mate. He desperately wanted to find the woman of his dreams. Unfortunately, he scripted himself right out of the market. His ideal mate had to be a redhead…a real redhead, if you know what I mean. He also insisted that the woman have a big set of knockers. I take it that he developed this script after years and years of consuming big titty porn. But wherever it came from it was his undoing.

At any rate, my client would dismiss out of hand, any woman who didn’t fit this very specific profile. And his dating life was a disaster. I had to help him understand that he narrowed the pool of potential candidates till it virtually evaporated. I asked him, “How many natural redheads do you suppose there are out there in the Bay Area? Of these, how many are single? Of these, how many have a monster rack on ‘em? Of these, how many would fall for a guy like you?” It was bitter medicine, but it was the dose of reality he desperately needed.

You, Eric, may be suffering from a similar condition. I can’t really say for sure from what you write. What I can say with some confidence is that you’re not particularly accommodating when it comes to the foibles of others. Look how you describe yourself — “hyper-analytic and super-honest”. Is that just a easy way of saying you are really overly critical and downright bitchy? Maybe, just maybe that’s how others perceive you. And that ain’t gonna land you a man no how!

You say you can’t find quality men. Again, that’s more of a comment about you than the number of quality men out there. Maybe all the quality men find you way too prickly to get close to. Your frustration may even make you edgier. And sometimes frustration morphs into desperation and there’s nothing more unattractive than that. You may be inadvertently hanging a big sign around your neck that reads: “Steer Clear, Trouble Ahead!”

Relationships are curious things. They almost never happen to someone who is desperate for one. Or if the desperate person actually finds a relationship, inevitably it’ll be a disaster. And here’s a tip: casual hook ups for sex are fine and dandy for what they are. They relieve sexual tension and not a great deal more. I advise you not to expect them to magically transform into a long-term relationship. That only happens in fairytales.

OK then, what might you do? I suggest that you simply cease the pursuit of a mate and let him find you. That’s right, just let it go. Instead of investing all that energy in pursuing that illusive relationship, focus your attention on bettering yourself and the world around you. You apparently already know how to do this since you say you work hard at self-improvement and reinvention. Wonderful! But how do you go about this self-improvement and reinvention? Is yours a solitary endeavor, or might you join others while making this happen? Do you take classes? Enjoy the arts? Do you read? Cook? Are you an outdoorsy kinda lad? Are you of service to others? Do you volunteer? Do you like pets, gardening or crafts? Are you political? Are you athletic? Do you travel?

If you do any of these things you will automatically find yourself surrounded by like-minded humans of every stripe. Listen darlin’, just because you’re queer that doesn’t mean you are restricted to the gay scene. There’s no need for a ghetto mentality in this day and age. Instead of slumming on those tiresome gay online dating sites. Look elsewhere for your fulfillment. You are more likely to encounter people who share your values if you spend your time on online at sites that reflect your interests and there’s a zillion of them. Look for websites and forums that feature your interests and concerns. And unless it’s the American Nazi Party or the KKK, you’ll no doubt find other homos who will broaden your social network. And the larger your social network, the more likely you will encounter a soul mate.

Finally, if you don’t find precisely what you are looking for online, then it’s up to you to make it happen on your own. I suggest that turn to a site like craigslist and post there. Start a club, or a discussion group. Initiate a gathering of like-minded people for an outing or an endeavor. Whatever you do direct your energies outward. Stop with the navel gazing already. You are in the prime of your life, and the world is your oyster. But first you’re gonna have to get of your pity pot.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Vatican Roulette

Name: Ricardo
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Location: Miami
I have understood that there is a certain period while women have their period that they can have unprotected sex without risk of getting pregnant, is this true? And if it is when is this period? After or before the PMS? And how long does it last? Thanks.

Nope, darlin’, there’s no such thing as a 100% foolproof, absolutely certain period in a woman’s menstrual cycle that she can have unprotected sex without the risk of gettin’ pregnant. This is a myth, and a mighty risky myth at that. If you’re considering this practice as an effective means of birth control, you’re playing Russian Roulette, or better Vatican Roulette, with your dick.

Ok so here’s the low-down on the rhythm method also known as “fertility awareness.” It is not a reliable way to prevent pregnancy for most people. Over 25% of couples that rely on the rhythm method to prevent pregnancy will accidentally conceive. Ya see, one has to be a freakin’ rocket scientist to use the rhythm method correctly and consistently. A woman is generally infertile around 10 days a month. Make one slight miscalculation on when that infertile period begins and you gonna be toast.

The rhythm method is dependent on the couple not have sex around the time of ovulation. But the trick is accurately determining precisely when ovulation happens. Couples can try to track this by using a calendar and a thermometer to measure body temperature. A woman’s temperature will rise a coupe of degrees just before ovulation. But very few women are as regular as clockwork. And lots of things, like stress, prescription medications, even antihistamines can throw a woman’s cycle of by a day or two. The fertile period around ovulation lasts 6 to 12 days. So absolutely no unprotected fucking during this period.

Even when used perfectly, the rhythm method is a highly ineffective means of avoiding a pregnancy. That’s because the methods formula makes several assumptions that are not always true. Sure, one can keep track of past menstrual cycles to predict the length of future cycles. However, the length of the pre-ovulatory phase can vary significantly, depending on a woman’s over all health. Like if for some reason she ovulates early, this will fuck up the rhythm method formula big time. The formula will indicate she is still infertile, when actually she is quite fertile. Look out!

The rhythm method also assumes that all vaginal bleeding is true menstruation. But that’s simply not the case. If you incorrectly identify the onset of menstruation, even by one day, you’ll render your calculations inaccurate. Again, you will be toast, pup.

And consider this, sperm can live in a woman’s reproductive system for up to 7 days. And fertilization may occur even days after fucking. I mean with risks like these, wouldn’t it be safer and easier just to slip on a condom?

If by chance you are trying to reconcile your religious indoctrination (the rhythm method is the only means of family planning embraced by the Catholic Church) and your youthful libido, you may be playing with fire. In the final analysis, it’s not only your life that’s on the line here. Think about it; wear a rubber.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Tunnel Of Love

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday and this week we have a review of yet another innovative product from the creative folks at Perfect Fit Brand.

This is our 3rd Perfect Fit Brand review and there are plenty more to come. To keep track of all our PFB reviews use the search function in the header of DrDickSexToyReviews.com, type in Perfect Fit Brand, and PRESTO!

Alrighty then, lets check in with Dr Dick Review Crew members, Mick & Chuck, to see what they’ve been up to.

Tunnel Plug — $44.95

Mick & Chuck
Mick: “’Wait a minute! Are you telling me someone’s gone and fiddled with one of the most basic sex toys ever? I hope to god they didn’t fuck it up.’ That was me on the telephone with Dr Dick when he asked if Chuck and I would be up for reviewing the revolutionary Tunnel Plug.”
Chuck: “I was like totally down with at least taking a look at it. But I was simply going on the other Perfect Fit Brand reviews posted here and I figured, how bad could it be? Besides, there are loads of different kinds of plugs out there.”
Mick: “Yeah, there is! But a plug’s a plug, right? And my thoughts were, well if it works why fix it? As fate would have it, all my worry was for nothing, because even though the Tunnel Plug is revolutionary, it still is very much a plug. It has all the features of the traditional design — the insertable part is a tapered cone or bulb shape, designed for easy insertion and giving you that all-filled-up feeling while it’s in place. The plug tapers more dramatically near the base into a notch. This allows your sphincter muscle to close down on the plug keeping it firmly in place. Finally the wide base keeps it from slipping inside your bum.”
Chuck: “Ok, so let’s tell everyone how the Tunnel Plug is different from every other butt plug we’ve ever see. Most of the butt plugs I’m familiar with are made of a solid material — glass, metal, wood, rubber, etc. You can’t have something really squishy, because you could never get it in your ass. The Tunnel Plug is firm, but flexible. It’s even got a little stretch to it. It’s made of a proprietary material called PFBlend. It stretches like TPR (Thermo Plastic Rubber), but it is safe and durable like silicone.”
Mick: “The next obvious difference between this plug and all the rest is the center is hallow. I know, why didn’t someone think of this sooner? It is the perfect convenience. Instead of just plugging your hole, you can open it too. The tunnel hole goes right through the core of the Tunnel Plug. So once I had the Tunnel Plug in my ass, I inserted a slim vibrating dildo in the center of the plug and I was happy as a pig in shit!”
Chuck: “It’s also ideal for keeping your hole open for a quick douche. The hose or nozzle fits right in the hollow center. And think of all the enema play fun you can have. You can insert a finger too. And if you have a little penlight flashlight you can shine a light in the very place where the sun don’t shine. I did this while the Tunnel Plug was in Mick’s ass. I mean, I had never seen the inside of a guy’s hole before. It’s kinda breath-taking actually.”
Mick: “Not to be undone by Chuck’s creativity, I decided to make the Tunnel Plug part of my Halloween costume this year. I found this faux-fur foxtail (Try saying that three times fast.) at a costume store here in town. I fastened it to a wooden dowel from the hardware store and inserted the dowel into the hallow center of the Tunnel Plug. It looked fantastic, if I have to say so myself.”
Chuck: “We need to submit that costume suggestion to the DIY site!”
Mick: “The point is, the Tunnel Plug allows you to be creative in your anal play. I decided that some sensation play might be nice. A trickle of chilled (not ice cold) water through the hallow center was both startling and amazing. What a unique feeling. The fact that the plug gives you this filled up sensation while allowing you to add another sensation is like WOW!”
Chuck: “The Tunnel Plug comes in two sizes — (Small/Medium): 3″ total length, 2.75″ insertable length, 2″ in width, and 6.25″ in circumference and (Medium/Large): 3.5″ total length, 3″ insertable length, 2.5″ in width, and 8″ in circumference.”
Mick: “You can use any type of lube you want wit the Tunnel Plug. And clean up is a snap. Because the PFBlend material is nonporous, everyday cleanup with a mild soap and hot water is fine. However, if you’re gonna share your toys sanitizing is highly recommended. You can drop the Tunnel Plug in a pot of boiling water for a couple minutes, then let it air dry. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

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