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Sex EDGE- U-cation with Blade Bannon — Podcast #372 – 04/17/13


Hey sex fans,Blade Bannon 2

Holy cow, I have another one of them twofer shows for you today. My guest is the extraordinarily talented erotic photographer and author who is making his second appearance on this show. Last time he was here was way back in May 2011. And like last time, our conversation conveniently falls into both The Erotic Mind and the Sex EDGE-U-cation series, don’t cha know. I’m thrilled to welcome back the multitalented Blade T Bannon to the show.

Blade has two new books to tell us about. The first, a coffee table book of erotic photography titled, Daddy Hunt. And the second is a stunning new volume of fictional non-fiction titled, Primal Fear.

Blade and I discuss:

  • Daddy Hunt and the Bruno Gmuender connection;
  • Flying in the face of the myopic view of male beauty;
  • Primal Fear and his publisher;
  • His lunch with Lance Navarro;
  • The two faces of fear;
  • The exciting and arousing aspects of fear;
  • The dragon.

Blade invites you to visit him on his site HERE!

Click on the thumbnail images below to read more about Blade’s new books.

daddy hunt          Primal Fear

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Fleshlight & FleshJack.

Plug Your Hole In Three Easy Steps

Plug Your Hole In Three Easy Steps — The Butt Plug Tutorial

I want to welcome you to the Wonderful World of Butt Plugs! Not sure what a butt plug is or why you would want one? Or maybe you sure enough know a butt plug when you see one, but you just don’t know how to go about choosing the right one for you. Well, never fear, because Dr Dick is here with another one of his Handy Dandy Sex Toy Advisories.i'm wearing my butt plug

A butt plug is an anal stimulation device that allows you to enjoy sustained anal pleasure (and prostate stimulation for the men folk) without the worry of having your toy fall out, or worse, disappear up you hole.

Let’s look at a typical butt plug to get a feel for how it works. Unlike most dildos and other anal toys, a butt plug is shorter and has a unique shape. The insertable part is often a tapered cone shape, designed for easy insertion and that filled-up feeling while it’s in place.

The plug tapers more dramatically near the base into a notch. This allows your sphincter muscle to close down on the plug keeping it firmly in place. Finally the wide base keeps it from slipping inside your bum.

Pretty gal-darn clever, huh?

But why would I want a plug in my butt? You might ask. That, my friend, is a question only a novice butt pirate would ask. Unfamiliar with the joys of butt play, are ya? Well, here’s the 411 on anal pleasuring. Your bum is chock full of nerve ending that, when stimulated, induce intense pleasure. And a butt plug can be worn for hours at a time for a sustained dose of devilish delight.

Once you decide to give a plug a try, you’ll have loads of options to choose from. There is a slue of different sizes, shapes colors and textures. They come in several different materials. And some even vibrate. How fun is that?

Let’s look at all these options in turn.

Start with SIZE.
If you’re new to the whole anal thing, I recommend you try something small. You’ll want an insertable length of less then 4” and a diameter of 2.5”. Feeling a bit more daring? Want to increase the insertable length and/or diameter? Knock yourself out, my friend. There are dozens of sizes available.

Next choose a Material.
Got the dimensions you want, but not sure about what kind of material you want plugging your hole? I know that sounds funny, but it may actually matter what you insert where the sun don’t shine! Say, Dr Dick, how do I know what material is best for me? Excellent question! See, you’re becoming a well-informed consumer already. Let me detail some of the finer points for you.

  • Latex

Is the granddaddy of sex toy materials.
PLUSES —
Inexpensive
Soft and flexible
Use with both water-based and silicone-based lubes.
MINUSES —
Porous, thus less hygienic
Difficult to clean
Distinct rubbery odor

  • Jelly

Advancements in chemistry transformed ordinary latex into an even softer and more pliable jelly material.
PLUSES —
Inexpensive
Super-soft and flexible
Appealing translucent jelly-like appearance
Use with both water-based and silicone-based lubes.
Comes in a variety of colors
MINUSES —
Porous, thus less hygienic
Difficult to clean
Distinct chemical odor

  • SiliconeC935

A non-latex product that come in two varieties — firm and soft.
PLUSES —
Durable and long lasting
Easy to maintain
Hypoallergenic
Waterproof
You can sterilize silicone toys by boiling them
They’re bleachable
Dishwasher safe
More realistic feel
Retains body heat
Comes in a variety of colors
No odor
MINUSES —
Slightly more expensive
Use only water-based lubes

  • Stainless Steelaluminum butt plug

It is smooth, hard and a thing of beauty.
PLUSES —
Super-durable and long lasting
Nonporous
Easy to maintain
Hypoallergenic
Waterproof
You can sterilize Stainless Steel toys by boiling them
Bleachable
Dishwasher safe
Much heftier weight
No unpleasant odor
Can be warmed or chilled
Use with both water-based and silicone-based lubes.
MINUSES —
More expensive
Hard and inflexible

  • Pyrex Glassglass

Pyrex is a hard dense glass that will not shatter or splinter. It’s smooth, hard and a work of art.
PLUSES —
Super-durable, long lasting
Nonporous
Easy to maintain
Hypoallergenic
Waterproof
You can sterilize Pyrex toys by boiling them
Bleachable
Dishwasher safe
Hefty weight
No unpleasant odor
Can be warmed or chilled
Use with both water-based and silicone-based lubes.
MINUSES —
More expensive
Hard and inflexible

  • Wood wood

It’s smooth, hard and a work of art.
PLUSES —
Super-durable, long lasting
Nonporous
Easy to maintain
Hypoallergenic
Waterproof
No unpleasant odor
Use with both water-based and silicone-based lubes.
MINUSES —
More expensive
Hard and inflexible

  • New Supersoft

Is a new material that’s has the closest feel to real-life skin. It can be both soft and rigid.
PLUSES—
Less expensive
Great texture
MINUSES —
Very porous
Less hygienic
Always use with a condom
Use only water-based lubes.
Difficult to clean
Distinct chemical odorD649

  • Rubber

An old standard!
PLUSES—
Inexpensive
Durable, long lasting
Waterproof
Use with both water-based and silicone-based lubes.
Comes in a vast array of colors (just as long as it’s black)
MINUSES —
Very porous, less hygienic
Difficult to clean
Distinct rubbery odor

Next choose Special Features.
Once you’ve decided on the material you want, you to customize your butt plug with special features like:beautiful
Bendable
Inflatable
Multi speed vibrating
Suction cup

Next choose Texture.
Latex, silicone, glass, wood and rubber butt plugs come in an array of textures. Which one of these buggers will tickles your fancy?
Bulged
Noduled
Nubbed
Ribbed
Smooth
Studded
Swirled
Veined
Velvety

Butt plugs come in loads of delectable colors and even more shades and hues. Looking for something rosy red, or jet black? Something to match your eyes, or your Day-Glo lime undies? You’ll not have any difficulty finding your heart’s desire.

ENJOY!

Bustin’ A Nut!

Soooo glad the holidays are over. I’m also looking forward to another year of doin’ the Dr Dick thing. Let’s kick things off with this oh so brief question from Chris.

Name: Chris
Gender: Male
Age: 21
Location: Portland, OR
Can a man have an orgasm without ejaculating?

You betcha, Chris! And not only that, but it is relatively easy for a man to become multi-orgasmic. On the other hand, it’s very, very rare indeed for a guy to be multi-ejaculatory. This phenomenon, while not completely unheard of, is generally something that only happens to young men.male_masturbation

It’s pretty evident to anyone who is paying the least amount of attention that an ejaculation is not the same thing as an orgasm. And anyone paying the least amount of attention would also know that it possible to ejaculate without having an orgasm. But that’s the problem isn’t it? Most of us men folk don’t really take the time to notice how our bodies work and so we miss the distinction between the two.

What do ya say we take a minute to discern the difference between an ejaculation and an orgasm? Maybe this will encourage those in my audience who haven’t stopped to notice, to pay a bit more attention to their sexual responses. When we shoot, or dribble as the case may be, a load, or dab as the case may be, of spooge out our cock; this is called an ejaculation. When we have undulating waves of pleasure that seems to rise up from deep inside our pelvis; this is an orgasm. There are big ones and smaller ones. Obviously, these two responses — ejaculation and orgasm — often happen simultaneously. In fact, the muscle contractions of the one often add to the intensity of the other. But still they are independent of one another.

Another thing, a guy can ejaculate and orgasm without an erection. Just because there’s no stiffy doesn’t mean the nerve endings are disconnected. But again, few men bother to discover the joys a soft cock is capable of. And some even have shame when they have difficulty getting an erection. That’s too bad, because it just adds to the performance anxiety.

1sexual_response_cycle_maleAn orgasm is an orgasm, regardless if you are a man or a woman. They are simply waves of pleasure generated by the release of sexual tension and the accompanying muscle contractions. If a guy is to become multi-orgasmic he’s got to learn to ride the wave without rushing to conclude the event with an ejaculation. Some guys do this through edge play, others through tantric sex practices. Either way, the end result is the same; prolonging the pleasure with the intention of building to an explosive orgasm, which may or may not include an ejaculation.

In terms of physiology, an ejaculation is merely a muscle reflex. These can happen independent of conscious pleasuring, like in a wet dream. The same is true for someone with a spinal cord injury. He will indeed ejaculate with the proper stimulus, he just can’t feel it. At the same time, both paraplegic men and women report having orgasmic feelings that are not the result of any genital contact. They say their orgasmic sensations come through kissing, nipple play, neck and ear stimulation, or other kinds of erotic touch.

I know several able-bodied men who also claim to have nipple-generated orgasms. I even jizz009knew a woman once who claimed she was able to “fantasize herself to orgasm.” Our bodies are amazing that way. Unfortunately, most of us never discover the tremendous capacities of our bodies because we condition ourselves to expect the same response from the exact same stimuli.

Ya know how some folks talk about having different kinds of orgasms — vaginal orgasms, G-spot orgasms, clitoral orgasms, prostate orgasms and the like? Well it’s not that one orgasm is physiologically different than another; it’s more an issue of how complex our bodies are. We are hot wired for pleasure in several places on our body. We can discover that stimulating different pleasure centers will achieve a similar response.

Men who don’t take the time to explore the capacities of their bodies basically lose out. It’s like having a $100,000 Ferrari automobile to drive. Then only driving it in first gear. We miss out on so much in our rush to cum. We conflate the two very different experiences — ejaculation and orgasm, leaving a vast territory of pleasure unacknowledged, let alone unexplored.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

All In A Day’s Work

There are so many interesting people out there on the web.  And many of them are doing their damnedest to make a difference in the lives of others. For example, the other day a young woman who has her own relationship advice website asked me if she could interview me for her site. I was very happy to oblige.

Her site is very different from mine in both style and presentation. One of the first questions she asked me is. “Why do you put such sexually explicit images on your site? It sometimes looks like a porn site. Doesn’t that take away from the advice you give?” Without coming right out and saying so, I believe she thought I should have a more formal presentation, a presentation that was befitting a professional of my stature. sexually explicit images

I told her, I add the images to be provocative. Most people who visit my site are already familiar with seeing sexually explicit images online. What they don’t get at those other sites is good, unambiguous, sex-positive information about human sexuality. I’ll be honest, I went on to say, I use the images to entice my audience to read the words around the images. It’s a psychological thing, ya see. Images, even those that may, at first glance, be off-putting can and do rivet one’s attention to the message I’m trying to communicate. Also the images make my site stand out from all the other professional oriented sites that offer similar sex advice. Besides, I like the way the site looks with all the images. I find it edgier as well as more interesting. After all, this is Sex Advice With An Edge!

Of course there is a downside to this. I’m approached on a regular basis by online advertisers; folks who would love to give me money in exchange for ad space on my very popular sites. And I’m all in favor of taking their money, don’t cha know. But more frequently than not, there are strings to this money. “Dr Dick, we would love to support you and your site, but we have to ask you to first rid your site of any sexually explicit image.” Well, fuck yourself very much! Is my retort. Of course, I try to say it in a real nice sorta way. I explain to my would be sponsors; ya see, this is how sexual repression begins. If I took your money and allowed you to dictate the kinds of images I could use on my site, in short order you would also be asking me to change my written and/or spoken content. And that, sex fans, I will never do, not even for some much needed financial support.

That’s when I hit upon the idea of having my audience help support the site. I added a DONATE button right there in the sidebar to your right, which you may or may not have noticed.  Ya see, infrastructure and administration for a free site like this is very costly. And instead of selling out to advertisers who want to censor my content, I invite all of you who enjoy DrDickSexAdvice.com and DrDickSexToyReviews.com to make a modest, once a year donation. Think of if as a holiday present to all you fellow sex fans. Your donation not only goes to supporting what you consume, but it underscores your social conscience. Your sponsorship helps disseminate badly needed sex education and sexual enrichment messages throughout the whole world. Hint, hint…I could use your support! I even have swell gifts to send to those who contribute as a certain level. Now doesn’t that sound just like your public television station?

jillin-off500Next my young interviewer asked, “If I could give one single piece of advice to her audience about sex, what would that be?” I love it when people ask questions like this. “Say Dr Dick, let’s sum up your life’s work in a sentence or two.” I tried to be gracious and come up with a pithy response that wouldn’t sound trite. I thought for a moment and said, “masturbation!” “Ahhh, what about masturbation exactly?” she inquired. I said, “everything.” She sounded perplexed. I suppose I was being a wee bit too pithy with my one-word answers.

So I went on to elaborate. Ya see masturbation is the key to a successful sex life. It is the most basic building block of all sexual expression. If we take the time to learn everything that masturbation has to teach us about ourselves, both in terms of physical and mental responses, we will be well on our way to being a really great lover. And the best thing about masturbation is that nature supplies all the motivation, because masturbation is it’s own reward. It’s pleasurable, informative, particularly if you pay the slightest attention, and you don’t need a thing other than what has already been supplied by nature.

Just about every sexual dysfunction I can think of has at its root a lack of understanding and appreciation for simple self-pleasuring. Some people never learn how to masturbate. Most of these folks are women, who then are set up for a lifetime of sexual frustration and disappointment. Some people learn to masturbate early in life. Most of these folks are men. But just because they can pull their pud with relative ease, doesn’t make them a student of self-pleasuring. In fact, a lifetime of mindless jerkin’ off can be counterproductive. Years and years of quick wanking just to relieve sexual tension, or just because one is bored, is the major contributing factor of premature ejaculation.

If we spent at least some of our masturbation time acquainting ourselves with our body and our sexual response cycle, we’d not only be male_masturbationpleasuring ourselves, but we’d be learning what makes us tick. And that, my friends, is essential information we’ll want to pass on to our partners.

One of the biggest problems with partnered sex is that most women and a whole lot of men think that their partner should know exactly how to pleasure them, right from the get-go. This is incredibly naive if you stop to think about it. Just because each of us has a relatively similar configuration of parts down there, as does every one else, that doesn’t mean we all function the same way. Each of us is unique, not just in terms of our physical attributes and how we’re hot-wired, but more importantly what turns our crank in our biggest sex organ, our mind.

My interviewer than came up with a humdinger, “since so many people have difficulty expressing themselves sexually, why do you suppose they bother?” I suppose they bother because they are driven to bother. For starters, we’re animals and sex is part of the biological imperative of all animate things. Lots of people muddle through the complexities of sexual coupling just so they can replicate. Once that’s done they don’t bother further. For those who aren’t particularly successful in finding a mate for this purpose they can always burn off excess sexual tension on their own…which gets me back to my masturbation comments. You see how all this sex stuff tends to make a big circle, right?

As our forebears evolved and advanced farther from their mere biological urges to something that more closely resembles modern human motivation, their rapidly developing brains began to play a larger the role in dictating their sexual expression. Pleasure soon began to compete with procreation as the dominant reason for exercising our sexuality. Of course, we often run into problems when seeking out another to satisfy our pleasure, which gets me back to my earlier point, but we do nonetheless.

As humans began to develop societies along with culture came religion. Inevitably sexuality became intertwined with that too…not always for the better. On the upside, the earliest religions and gods welcomed and celebrated sexuality and an integral part of human nature. There were sacred prostitutes and sexual orgies were part of religious expression. Unfortunately, these religions and gods didn’t fair well in their upcoming struggle with more militaristic and male dominated religions and gods. Basically the old religions and gods were outlawed and persecuted. A new era of sexual repression was upon us. But even today, one can hear the echo of this ancient tradition. There are some among us who firmly believe that sexuality is the best means to communing with the divine.

Erotic Fresco Painting From Pompeii

As human societies became more complex, the role of sexuality also changed. In a male dominated culture sex was more about aggression and ownership than anything else. The pleasure principle, at least the concept of mutual pleasure disappeared. Women were on the receiving end of this assault, of course. And as a consequence a man never had to bother himself with the niceties giving to get. He just took. Centuries upon centuries of culturally sponsored behavior like this has created a sexual male that is unversed at best and resistant at worst to the idea of mutuality with his partners. The “get it up, get it on and get it off” mentality leaves little room for female sexual expression.

lesbian_tickle.jpgOnly recently, with the rise of the women’s movement, have things begun to change. Happily, some of us men folk are getting the message that that pleasuring one’s mate will actually result in an abundance of more pleasure for them. A novel concept for most of us, don’t cha know. Alas, this still leaves us with the pressing problem that began this discussion. Most men, particularly young men, are unfamiliar with the workings of their own bodies and sexual response cycle. They are absolutely clueless about the great mysteries of the female anatomy and how all those blasted things works.

So we fall upon one another in this hit and miss manner, missing more often than we hit, sadly. And yet we persevere. All I’m saying is if we all took a little more time before for the event to introduce our partner to the peculiarities of our own bodies, there would be more hits than misses. Of course, that’s dependent on having a much better sense of ourselves than most of us do.

Nowadays, it’s très chic to fuck for a myriad of more interpersonal reasons. These include — self-expression, creativity, self-esteem and emotional satisfaction. With motivations like these, physical desirability of the potential partner often plays a much larger role than ever before. This gives rise to the innumerable industries out there that prey upon our natural insecurities. Think of all the ways in which we measure ourselves and one another. And who among us does not find ourselves wanting in one aspect or another? Either our cock isn’t big enough, our tits are too small. We’re too short or too tall, too fat or too thin, too young or too old, too much hair or not enough. We’re the wrong color, or ethnicity, too rich or too poor. Didn’t go to the right school or live in the wrong neighborhood. And the list goes on and on. With all this worry and anxiety it is, as my young interview suggested, a wonder that we ever connect at all.kissing.jpg

Then there’s the “L” word — LOVE. This is the most complicated, irrational and inexplicable of all motivations for connecting with another human on any level, least of all sexually. While love may go a long way to blind us to the inescapable insecurities that plague us all — you know how they say that love is blind — it isn’t always enough to overcome sexual dysfunction. And here is where the sex advice industry, of which I am a proud practitioner, enters the picture.

Good Luck

The Naughty & The Nice

Just in time for the holidays, here’s my Naughty and Nice list.

NICE

NAUGHTY

NICELY NAUGHTY

Happy Holidays!

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