Name: Stanford
Gender: male
Age: 25
Location: Green Bay
I was wondering if you have any suggestions for a homemade dildo?
Do you actually want to craft a dildo yourself? Or is this more a question about what might be readily available to safely bugger yourself with?
If you want to make one yourself, there are several “Make-your-own-dildo” kits out there. You can find them online. They supply you with everything you need to make a latex dildo cast of your own dong. And from that the dildo is made. How fun! But wait, what if you are princess tiny-meat? Cloning your you own willie will satisfy no one, no how. Unless you know someone with a more ample endowment that will lend you his hog for the mold, this is probably not the way for you to go.
A trip to the supermarket might be your next best bet. People have been stuffing fruits and vegetables in every possible orifice for as long as there have been fruits and vegetables…and orifices to stuff. Bananas, zucchini, corn cobs, cucumbers, and well the list goes on and on. One word of caution, make sure that whatever your poppin’ in your pooper is long enough that you can keep hold of it while you are workin’ your magic. You definitely don’t want it to let whatever slip past your sphincter and lodge itself inside your rectum. There’s nothing more embarrassing than a trip to the emergency room to have someone fish whatever you got in there out of you bum.
If you’re the least bit competent as a woodworker you could fashion something pleasurable from a hardwood, like maple or oak. The do-it-yourself craftsman will be able to make the exact size he needs and wants. He’ll take pride in sanding, buffing and curing his creation with olive oil before use.
No woodturning tools? Not to worry. A trip to the local Homo Depot may be the answer. Look for wooden dowels. They come in many widths and lengths. Since doweling is often made of a softer wood, the dildo craftsman will be able to round off the top of the dowel using a rasp with relative ease. But because the wood is soft, he’ll have to seal his creation in a smooth varathane or polyurethane finish. Never, ever insert uncured or unfinished wood. Besides the danger of splinters, untreated wood is very porous and you’ll never get the damned thing clean after the first use.
Another word of caution; some people are allergic to various materials or polishes. So test all materials first.
Here’s a dildo-making project just about anyone can do. Make your own beanie baby dildo. You will need several latex condoms, water based lube and whole dried beans or peas. Take a condom fill it with the dried beans and/or peas and tie off the end. Coat the condom with lube and slip it into another condom and tie that one off too. If you want to be super-safe, add a third condom. The beauty part of using dried peas or beans is that, should the condoms break while you’re pleasuring yourself and you lose some of the contents in your love cave, you’ll be able to eliminate them with ease with your next bowel movement. And there’s nothing toxic in dried beans!
But what if you want something more stiff? Building a dildo out of modeling clay might be the answer. You can find this material at your local crafts store. You can be very creative with the shape and size. You’ll also be able to flare the end of the thing so there won’t be a worry of it getting past your sphincter. Before the clay dries, consider pressing dried beans into the shaft for some added texture. Once your new phallus is completely dry you can finish it with a polyurethane seal. However, I encourage you to use a condom over your newly created cock substitute. Even with a sealed dildo like this one.
Name: Heidi & Werner
Gender: couple
Age: 32 & 34
Location: Arizona
My husband and I have been married for 12 years, we love each other very much. About five years into our marriage, while on a retreat for couples, we discovered we are both bisexual. As a consequence we gave each other permission to explore our same-sex interests. For the most part this has worked out really well. At this point in our marriage, however, we’d like to move beyond the casual semi-furtive affairs we’ve been having and embrace polyamory. Problem is we don’t know any other people who are living in successful polyamorous relationships. Is polyamory a viable option even for a few lucky souls?
Congratulations on living a successful marriage, especially since you guys are taking such a non-traditional approach. That can’t be easy. I wish there was a way the two you could bottle whatever it is that you apparently have in spades that allows you to make such an honest assessment of yourselves and your marriage. You must be remarkable people. I’m so glad that you took the time to write.
As a matter of fact, I know a bunch of very successful, long-lasting polyamorous relationships. Most are comprised of people already on the sexual fringe — queer folk, currant and former swingers and kinksters. However, they all tend to keep the dimensions of their relationships relatively private. It takes a lot of psychic energy to live polyamorously, exponentially more than in a traditional marriage. This tends to leave less psychic energy for flying in the face of the popular culture. Of course the down side of this is there are, as you suggest, few good public role models for polyamory.
Connecting with other like-minded people is less of a challenge these days than in years past thanks to the marvels of the internets, don’t cha know. And being bisexuals, as you are, my make things even easier. I suppose you know this already, but for those in my audience who don’t, polyamory is not the same thing as swinging. Swinging is more about recreational or sport sex; partners having consensual casual sex with others, either other couples or individuals. Swinging is also generally a heterosexual phenomenon. Female bisexual behavior is allowed and even encouraged. The same cannot be said about male bisexual behavior. This seems like an unfortunate double standard to me, but in this respect swinging reflects traditional sexual mores.
Polyamory, on the other hand, connotes more of an emotional bond, a 
relationship that exceeds pure sport fucking. But not surprisingly many polyamorous relationships evolve from more casual swinger connections. So let’s not knock that.
If you both are seriously into polyamory you’ll have an easier time of it too. The downfall of many budding polyamorists has to do with the reservations one or another in the couple may have about the lifestyle. The one with reservations may play along for a while thinking that this new venture will grow on him/her, but it doesn’t. Some folks are monogamous and it’s breed in the bone. Others are non-monogamous, equally breed in the bone. Trying to convert one or the other to an alternative way of thinking is simply not gonna happen.
The big bugaboo in any type of relationship will be jealousy. You guys seem to have avoided that poison, and again congratulations. The couples retreat you mentioned my have provided you the communication tools you needed to open yourselves to one another in an honest and forthright way. These communication skills will be particularly useful in forming polyamorous relationships too. Whatever the configuration of your future relationships, all parties must allow for and invite an honest and open exchange about passions, desires and needs. And from time to time each individual in the polyamorous relationship will prioritize these things differently. Expect lots of diversity. For more about this see my friend, polyamorous proDOM, Mistress Matisse’s column HERE!
There’s no “one way” to be polyamorous. Some people express their polyamory by having one primary partnership with one or more satellite relationships. They prefer monogamy with one partner but have an open relationship with others. Some polyamorists live in triads or loosely structured groups. Some people express their polyamory by having all partners and lovers as part of an extended family— raising kids together and taking care of elders together. Strong polyamorous relationships carried a number of my closest friends through the worst of the AIDS crisis in the mid 80’s. While you guys seem pretty clear on what you want for yourselves, you may want to be on the lookout for potential partners with incompatible passions needs and desires.
As we all know, a big part of effective communication in a relationship is exploring and expressing feelings. Another part, one that is often overlooked, is the art of negotiation. How do partners and lovers negotiate for what they need and want? “I want to try something new with someone new.” “My lover and I need some private time.” Mature people are flexible, but they also have healthy boundaries. Giving your partner the freedom to share him/herself intimately with others as he/she desires is easier when it is based on the guidelines that you and your partner agree to first. Of course these will need to be readjusted from time to time as new situations evolve.
A secret to successful polyamory is working to maintain a strong primary partnership, in your case, with each other. The more comfortable and secure you guys are with one another, the easier it will be for you to free one another up for others. When the primary relationship is healthy and safe, the polyamorous relationship will add to the support structure, not diminishes it. 
Interestingly enough, not all polyamorous relationships are sexual in nature. For example, one person in the group relationship may have a sexual connection with another, while that person enjoys a platonic relationship with that someone else.
One thing for certain, you guys will have to decide what sort of people will be positive additions to your lives. And that will entail a good deal of trial and error. Like my daddy always used to say, “ya gotta walk through a lot of manure before you find the pony.” Remember not everyone who aspires to polyamory is capable of it, nor is everyone one who is capable of being polyamorous suited to be with everyone else who is.
For more about this timely topic I refer you to the two podcasts I did with the insanely marvelous Cunning Minx of PolyWeekly. Look for them HERE and HERE!
Good luck ya’ll
Hey sex fans!
I’m delighted to welcome two distinguished new manufacturers to Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews — VirtuallyAdult and RubyGlass21. They’ve come up with an exquisite line of glass butt plugs that will both dazzle and delight.
Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug —— $79.98
Dr Dick
Friends, are you tired of not having anything dazzling to wear on those special 
occasions when you want to look and feel your best? Ya know, like when you’re runnin’ the Hoover, taking out the trash (rubbish or BF), or pickin out something butch at Home Depot? Well dear readers, I have just the thing for you. Lookie here! It’s a Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug, or butt plug if you prefer. This is no ordinary plug, no siree; it’s bejeweled! So it will dress up any outfit, or no outfit at all.
That’s right, sex fans, I’m wearing mine now! Because, like you, I want to have a smile on my face and a spring in my step when I face all of life’s tedious tasks like typing this review, laundering my unmentionables or cookin’ up a mess of grits for the church social. And the beauty part of this little stunner is that no one would ever guess I’m enjoying a butt-load of delicious pleasure unless they turned me upside down and discovered the authentic Swarovski crystal rockin out where the sun don’t shine.
My Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug is a high quality, hand crafted ultra smooth Pyrex glass insertable manufactured by RubyGlass21 and customized by VirtuallyAdult. The plug features a petite spade-shaped head with a maximum diameter of no more than an inch. This sits gracefully atop an unusually long 2” stem that finally flares out to make the base, in which is embedded the sapphire-like crystal. The Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug is about 5 inches tall and weighs in at approximately 6 ounces. I say the stem is unusually long, because most all the other plugs I’ve seen and/or used are squatter. Now that I’ve tried both, I tend to like the longer-stemmed plug even better than the shorter ones. And god knows I love the shorter ones a lot. I’m also thinkin that this lovely would rock out as a pussy plug too. Imagine the luscious G-spot massage you’d get with each and every step you take.
Everyone has a butthole and the Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug is an equal opportunity pleasure plug. That being said, I want to address the rest of my comments to my fellow prostate owners. You know how passionate I am about prostate health and prostate self-awareness, right? Well I am of the mind that every guy oughta own at least one butt plug and use it regularly. Beside the pleasure it delivers it has verifiable health benefits.
A plug will massage your P-spot and that’s a big part of a maintaining prostate health. And for us more senior men, and the heartbreak of enlarged prostate we so frequently suffer, butt plug therapy can help there too. I mean I’m all in favor of toys that have no other purpose than to dispense a good dose of the jollies. But if a fella can pleasure himself AND do himself some good health-wise…all at the same time; well that just about beats the pants off diddlin’ just for fun. Right?
Those of you who regularly follow our reviews will know that all the Dr Dick Review Crew loves us some glass toys. They’re gorgeous, of course, but that’s only the beginning. They are versatile too. You can warm and chill beautiful art glass toys, like the Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug, for added sensations. And you can use any kind of lube you want. You’ll only need little bit too, because glass gets real slick with just a dab of lube. The petite head on this baby will slip effortlessly into your bum and stay put for hours of glorious backdoor recreation.
Full Review HERE
ENJOY!
Hi Dr Dick,
Happy (belated) New Year! I have two questions for you:
1. I am taking a long time to cum when I’m given a blowjob or hand job and eventually I need to stroke off on my own (for a pretty long time as well). However, I cum pretty quickly when I masturbate while watching porn. Am I masturbating to porn too much? I have also masturbated to porn for years before I started having sex recently (I’m not sure whether this could be a reason as well).
2. You mention that we shouldn’t use soup while cleaning our anus. Why is that so? I just read about douching but I have been cleaning my anus with warm water, soap, and finger. Is that ok?
Thanks in advance! — Ken
Can’t hardly say if you are masturbating to porn too much. I mean, what is too much anyway? And since you don’t go into detail; I’ll let that issue rest.
What I can tell you is that partnered sex, regardless of the activity (blowjobs, hand jobs or 
full-on fucking) is a whole lot different than solo sex (with or without porn). I can also assure you that your body has become sensitized to your particular grip and stroke over the years of you pullin your own pud. Another person’s grip and stroke (pussy or asshole) will rarely satisfy in the same efficient manner. This is not a bad thing, necessarily, but you do have to keep that in mind. And perhaps your sexual response will change with time as you enjoy more and varied partnered sex.
In terms of you taking too long (whatever that means) to cum when you are with a partner, maybe you need to quit trying so hard to get off and lay back and enjoy the sensations you’re getting from your partner. And here’s a tip; use your biggest sex organ, your brain, to replay some of that hot porn action in your head while you are gettin head. That will surely hasten things along, if ya know what I mean.
In terms of your next question about keeping your hole clean; you may have misunderstood previous comments I’ve made about anal douching. Soap and water is the preferred method of keeping the outside of your ass clean. And while you’re scrubbin’ your crack, you could use your fingertip to clean out your rosebud. But don’t force soap beyond your sphincter. You have delicate membranes in your rectum that will be irritated by the soap, even a mild soap.
If you need to douche, I suggest a solution of a few drops of lemon juice in warm water. Some men prefer the convenience of a shower bidet.
Name: Mike P
Gender: Male
Age: 25
Location: Los Angeles
My girlfriend needs to watch lesbian porn to get off and sometimes kicks me out of the bedroom to masturbate by herself. Initially I was turned on by her desire to watch porn — but now — it’s become a blockage. She always needs porn. I am frustrated and to make things worse — she has started abusing me through financial manipulation. I have to pay her rent — pay for her food, pay everything — and she never gives me nookie.
Should I leave this woman?
Time to wake up, fella! Your “girlfriend” — and I use that term very loosely — is decidedly 
not YOUR girlfriend, and possibly not any man’s girlfriend. I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and say; I think your “girlfriend” is a certifiable, died-in-the wool, muff-divin’, coochie-lovin’ lesbiterian. All that remains for her to do, to make the picture perfectly clear…even for you, is to show up one day in a mullet and a flannel shirt. Holy cow, Mike, how is it that you are missing the obvious?
Listen, bub, you’re excess baggage. Your “friend” keeps you around for comic relief…oh and to foot the bill.
Should you leave this woman; you ask. Honey, she’s beaten you to the punch on that one. She’s long gone and done left you way behind, at least emotionally and sexually. All you need to do is find the door, say good-bye to this sorry situation and make a hasty exit.
Name: Michelle
Gender: Female
Age: 22
Location: Canada
Tips to help when the man you’re sleeping with has a small penis.
Tips? No pun intended, I hope.
Ok, here goes — Tip #1, grin and bear it. Tip #2, find a guy with more pork. Tip #3, get a dildo. Tip #4, find a sexual position, like doggie style, that will make the most of every little bit of pecker the poor guy’s got. Tip #5, remember it ain’t always da meat, but it is always da motion.
Ok, seriously I do have a couple of suggestions beyond the flippant ones I just mentioned. For example, Tip #3 still stands. Find yourself a dildo, one that your partner can wield when he’s around. If you introduce the concept in a positive way, you may find that Mr. Mini-meat will go for it big time. You see, most guys with small endowments already know they may have a problem satisfying some women (or men for that matter). But most guys, regardless of cock size, are always interested in pleasuring their partner, even when it’s not with their own magic wand.
May I suggest that you check out the swell array of dildos available at Dr Dick’s Stockroom? You’ll find a link to this treasure trove on the top of this page. Hey, you may even want to shop online together. You may be surprised at the one your guy picks out for you.
While you lovebirds are checking out the dildo section at Dr Dick’s Stockroom, take a moment to search for a Cyberskin Penis Extension.
You’re gonna love this. The new Cyberskin line of products represents a significant advance in pecker extensions that feel like the real thing. The rubber on the surface of this extension feels hauntingly like human skin. But the inside part of the (1.5″ or 3″) extension is much firmer. It is soft and supple on the surface, but hard and rigid inside. Mmmm, hard and rigid!
Visually, the shape, texture, and coloration of these extensions are designed to create a 
realistic effect as well. They look realistic and they feel realistic.
There’s a trick to putting on one of these puppies, don’t ‘cha know. You roll up the sleeve until it’s all the way up around the extension. Then place it against the head of your guy’s stiff dick. Roll the bugger down snugly around his unit, sealing his peanut inside the sleeve. A partial seal will form, helping keep the extension on during the fuck-fest.
Wearing this extension will add both length and thickness to his precious willie. It will of course reduce the sensation in his cock, but that’s not always bad thing. Guys with a short fuse may find the decrease in stimulation an aid to controlling his ejaculation, while he’s giving more and longer pleasure to his partner. And a lot of guys love the feeling of having their cock sealed inside the rubbery sleeve. Mmmm, sealed inside rubbery sleeve!
Name: Jack
Gender: Male
Age: 42
Location: Milwaukee
I’ve been dating this guy for over a year. He is the love of my life. I love him so much, but he treats me like shit. I met him on vacation in Florida. He’s 26 a stunning, 6’3” 200lbs, blond surfer Adonis. And excuse me for being so graphic; he has the biggest dick I’d ever seen. The first time we had sex I saw stars. He filled me up like no other person has.
When I got home we exchanged emails nearly every day and even had some hot phone sex a couple of times. He was down on his luck, because he lost his barista job for coming to work stoned too many times. I know I shouldn’t have, but I invited him to come live with me. I flew him up, but I told him that this wouldn’t be a free ride, he’d have to stop smoking so much dope and get a job and he agreed.
The sex was fantastic for the first couple of months, but once he established himself as a star at the gym he found his own friends and now I don’t see too much of him. He eats my food and drinks my liquor and drives my car. I pay for his cloths and gym membership. He has yet to find a job.
I know I should just end it, but I love him and I would really miss the sex. My friends ridicule me for thinking he loves me as much as I love him. They tell me they know he sees other guys. I’m so turned around I don’t know what to do.
Like my momma always used to say: if it’s got wheels or a dick, you know you’re gonna have problems with it. And I would add, if it’s got big wheels or a big dick you know you’re gonna have BIG problems with it.
Before we turn our attention to your no good boyfriend, let me make a few quick 
observations about you. You’re a freakin’ mess, girlfriend! I mean really, you’ve broken all the cardinal rules about dating a hustler. I know, I can hear you now…oh no Dr Dick, he’s not a hustler; he’s a good kid who’s just down on his luck and I’m just trying to help. Bullshit!
Ya see, that’s the first cardinal rule of dating a hustler is never lose sight of the fact that he’s a hustler and you’re his john. Don’t get me wrong; I have the deepest admiration for hustlers and their johns. It’s just that this arrangement only works if everyone is clear about the ground rules. And here are the ground rules — rich older gentleman connects with needy younger hunky stud for mutual benefit. Rich older gentleman keeps needy younger hunky stud in room and board, booze, cloths, car, gym membership and the like; and needy younger hunky stud buggers rich older gentleman senseless with his big blond surfer-boy dick. Get it? Got it? Good!
Second cardinal rule — what happens on vacation should stay on vacation. Vacation sex, as wonderful and delicious as it may be, does not transplant very well to your non-vacation life. You’re more likely to have success transplanting a delicate tropical orchid to your Milwaukee backyard than transplanting a vacation hustler fuck to your work-a-day world back home.
Third cardinal rule —don’t try to gloss a perfectly fine, fully functional and even an affectionate hustler/john relationship with talk of love. It’s unnecessary, unseemly and untrue. It’s lust, it’s limerence, it’s love sickness, whatever…it’s just not love. Because LOVE don’t ever make you feel as bad as you’re feelin’. Probably your friends would have less difficulty with your mooning over this guy if you were more honest about the nature of this relationship. They wouldn’t be rubbing your face in the evidence that surfer-boy is pluggin’ other dudes.
Fourth cardinal rule — a size queen, like you Jack, should admit that you are enamored with the guy hose and how it fills you up plain and simple. To pretend that you would string yourself out like this for a guy with tiny meat is just that — pretense. Listen, there’s nothin’ wrong with bein’ a size queen, it’s the dishonesty I object to.
How is this young fella ever supposed to respect you when you don’t respect for yourself? He probably had you pegged (no pun intended) back on the beach in the sunshine state. He knows you will tolerate his misbehavior, which of course gives him permission to do whatever he feels like doing whenever he feel like doing it. And now he don’t even have to give up the occasional mercy fuck any more, even though that was surely part of the deal at the get go, right?
So the waif has yet to find a job after a year, huh? Why is that not surprising? But even a hustler needs his mad money, besides what is doled out to him by his long-suffering john. I’d be willing to guess Mr. surfer dude is turning tricks to keep himself in weed and other essentials.
Thing is, this fellow probably would have treated you better if you would have just stuck to the hustler/john script. Ya see, kids like this need structure. He may have looked to you for this at one time, but when he realized that he had you cock-whipped, the teachable moment evaporated. This lad is probably like most other boys with big dicks. They learn early on that their cock gives them enormous power, because it is the object of desire for so many. He soon discovered that you were no different than all the other men (and some women) in his life — only interested in owning a piece of his sizeable endowment. And so he turned the tables on you. You can hardly fault the guy. You try to manipulate him with your money. He outwits you and manipulates you with his johnson.
If you’re really serious about reining in the little monkey, you’d better come up with a clear, unambiguous message about what you will and will not tolerate. And it better be something more than “I expect you to bone my scrawny middle-aged ass on occasion.” Because, until you do, he will roam wherever and whenever he wants.
There are many root causes for his behavior, just like there are many root causes for your behavior. But since I’m talking to you, not him, I suggest that you get to the bottom of all of this by investing a good deal of time and energy with a competent sex-positive therapist. There’s one thing I can say for certain, if the status quo continues your resentment will boil over one day and there will be violence, the kind of violence that you may not think yourself capable of now. But violence there will be; you can bank on it!
Is there enough goodwill between the two of you to resolve this unfortunate situation amicably? Who knows! If I had to guess, I’d say there was a slim to no chance for that. If that’s the case, I advise you pack him up and put him on the next plane south. And no more relationships for you, particularly with unemployed young men with massive schlongs, till you get your head screwed on tighter.
Good Luck ya’ll
Hey sex fans!
We’re back with our very last word in sex toy reviews for 2009. This is WEEK 6 of our Holiday Gift Giving Guide; and we close out the year with a Toys for Gals feature.
This week we will hear from Review Crew members: Joy, Gina and your truly, Dr Dick.
First up is one of two Doc Johnson toys we have today.
Love Connection —— $24.33
Joy
My partner, Dixie, and I each got a Doc Johnson toy to review. Dixie posted her Wish-Bone Vibe review two weeks ago. I got the equally cute, Love Connection to 
review.
This sweet little multi-speed vibe is actually two vibes in one. There are two different silicone attachments that you screw on to the hard plastic base. I’ve used other vibes that offered attachments, but I was disappointed to discover that I couldn’t count on the attachment staying in place during use. The Love Connection is different. The two attachments actually screw on to the handle, so there’s no chance the thing will come off when you’re using it.
But the best thing about this little wonder is that it’s waterproof. There’s nothing that satisfies like a vibe in the bath. There is a one touch fingertip control button on the base of the handle that allows you to cycle through the three speeds. This is not a powerhouse vibe, but you wouldn’t expect it to be, being such a cute little thing. But it gets the job done.
This would make the ideal vibe for travel. It’s discreet, and it’s quiet. The Love Connection runs on 2 AAA batteries. Unfortunately, they are not included in the package.
FULL REVIEW HERE
Next we see about the other Doc Johnson toy
Lucid Dream No. 14 —— $21.99
Gina
My last review of the year is, sadly, a bust. Can’t win them all, I guess.
Here is a classic example of how a toy looks so amazing in the package, only to have it let you down outside of the package. Lucid Dream No. 14 has an amazing shape. It has a bulbous angled head on a gooseneck body. It’s a jelly material in a luscious tangerine color. And it’s transparent; so you can see the sizable vibe in the head. I was confident this was going to be a brilliant G-spot vibe for sure.
Taking it out of the minimal, but stylish package produced the first concern I had. It emanated a very unpleasant chemical smell. This off-gas was really off-putting. And the smell got on my hands just from taking it out of the package. ICK!
I quickly washed the Lucid Dream and my hands with soap and water. I had immediate misgivings about using this vibe on my body, but I though I’d better press on with my review. I figured I could always slip a condom on it if I was going to have it come in contact with skin.
The next problem I encountered was battery placement. Lucid Dream calls for 2 AA-batteries, which are not included in the package. That was a bummer, but I got over it. Figuring out how the batteries fit into the battery compartment was a puzzle. Nothing I saw on the vibe itself showed the battery placement technique. There were no instructions in the package either. I swear I tried the batteries every which way and thought; maybe this was a defective toy. Then as I was opening the battery compartment to switch out the batteries one last time; the thing sprang to life.
Apparently, you have to close the battery compartment just so; any deviation from that, even tightening the cap a tiny little bit rendered the toy useless. The batteries weren’t making contact with the terminals correctly.
A dial in the vibe’s base activates the multi-speed vibrator in the head of Lucid Dream. This is one of those rheostat things. Not a bad concept when executed correctly. Again, unfortunately, this is not one of those times. The dial is way to lose for it to be effective. In order for this to work, there should be some resistance in the dial as one moves it up or down. This dial had no such resistance.
I have to admit, the vibe was quiet, but it also wasn’t very powerful, even on the highest speed. After all the trouble I had this Lucid Dream I didn’t even bother to try and pleasure myself with it. You know, life is just too short for a bad vibe.
FULL REVIEW HERE
Finally, we reprise my review of an amazing product.
The Cone —— $129.00
Dr Dick
Guess what, sex fans? I am the proud owner of my very own The Cone. And oh jeez, my life is never gonna be the same.
I am now the envy of all my friends — both the male and female variety — since the hot pink pyramid shaped package arrived on my doorstep. (Actually the hot pink pyramid shaped package arrived encased in a nondescript brown cardboard box, but you get the idea, right?)
I purposely left the shocking pink cone shaped object sitting nonchalantly on my desk 
for the past 10 days. Without fail it caught the eye of everyone who passed through Dr Dick’s office/salon/café/crash pad. “What the hell is that?” You’re kidding!” Really? “Get outta here!” “Oh My God, can I try it?” And so it went day after day.
I fond myself repeating the mantra — “It’s an innovative sex toy! – It’s pop art! – It’s my new BFF! — It’s three things in one!”
My hat is off to the developers of this unique unisex toy. You can tell right away that the folks who created this little wonder have a profound appreciation for sexual pleasure, as well as a joyful sense of playful fun. This kind of synergy can and apparently does turn the sex toy industry on its head. Bravo!
Ok, so what exactly is The Cone? Primarily, it is a hands-free battery-operated vibrator, don’t cha know. And that, sex fans, allows you to be pretty gal-darn creative in how you use the bugger. In fact, its unique design practically begs you to come up with clever new use or two every time you use it. I know of what I speak! I came up with one really good one. But I’m getting a little ahead of myself.
It has a sixteen-function 3000-rpm gold brush motor. It is both powerful and quiet. (Believe me, once you have at this thing, you will be making all the noise, not it.) It has a soft high-quality pink silicone skin. Its about seven inches in diameter at the base, five inches high, and weighs just over a pound. It has two push button controls. Simply put, there is nothing discreet about it, folks! Everything about it screams: “I’m here. I’m pink. Get used to it!
The Cone requires 3 “C” batteries. Unfortunately, the first set of batteries is not included in the package. I tell you this because I don’t want you to get all bummed out when you whip it out, for the first time, hoping to hop on for a ride only to discover you don’t have the proper batteries on hand.
Even though this isn’t an insertable device (That is, unless your hole looks like the Arc de Triomphe in Paris.), you’ll want to use a good personal lube to keep The Cone‘s silicone skin from chafing your naughty parts. Just make sure you use a non-silicone lube though, or you’ll ruin the blasted thing.
Like I said, The Cone has sixteen different vibrating programs — from mild to “Whoa Nelly! I suggest you take your time and cycle through the different vibe patterns to find the ones you like best. Here’s a tip: the on/off switch doubles as an ‘Instant Orgasm’ button, which revs the thing up to fever pitch in an instant. This is apparently for all those folks out there who are just too damned busy to cum like a normal person.
For the uninitiated, the pointy cone shape may be intimidating. But relax there’s no need to worry; The Cone’s peak is soft and spongy. It’s sorta the consistency of a very stiff dick. You can sit on this baby, lean on it, lie on it or plop it in your lap. You can use it alone, or with a partner. Just don’t be surprised if your partner tries to monopolize The Cone. If you have girl parts, The Cone is ideal for your pussy, clit and taint (perineum). If you have boy parts, The Cone is perfect for your cock, balls and taint. And everyone’s asshole will sing for joy when The Cone comes knockin’ at the back door.
The Cone‘s silicone skin is nonporous, which means bacteria cannot penetrate it. That makes it a breeze to clean. Just wipe it down with a mild soap and warm water after each use. To sterilize — remove the silicone skin from the unit and swish it in boiling water for a couple of minutes. Of course when you replace the skin, ya gotta realign it on the unit properly or you will not be able to find the operating buttons. But whatever you do, don’t immerse The Cone itself in water.
Ok, so The Cone is decidedly pricey. I’ll grant you that. But you know this thing is gonna last. And I’m a firm believer in buyin’ quality right from the get-go. In fact, if we consumers only patronized conscientious manufacturers of quality products, like The Cone; there’d be a lot less crap in the marketplace.
FULL REVIEW HERE
ENJOY
Hey sex fans,
It’s Product Review Friday; it’s Week 5 of our Holiday Gift Giving Guide; and we’re doin a special Toys for Boys thing today. Next Friday, our last installment of in this series, will feature some swell Toys for Gals.
This week we will hear from Review Crew members: Carlos, Ken and your truly, Dr Dick.
All guys jerk off; even (or especially) guys who say they don’t jerk off, jerk off. Now that we’ve put that behind us we can get on with today toy selection, because it has a theme — masturbation sleeves.
First up is another product from the good folks at Vibratex and Carlos has the lowdown.
Sidekick Tease Me Sleeve —— $14.43
Carlos
I love to masturbate; I’ve been doing it since I was 11. I love to masturbate with my wife; I like to masturbate with other men. It’s about as safe a sex as you can have short of having no sex at all.
I’m pretty much a manual masturbator. I never saw the need to improve on my hands for pleasuring myself. But the thing about being a Review Crew member, we get exposed to all kinds of products we wouldn’t otherwise know about. Take for instance the Sidekick Tease Me Sleeve. I would have never guessed that I could enjoy masturbating even more than I used to by using a masturbation aid, like a sleeve.
The Sidekick Tease Me Sleeve is a simple enough product. It’s made of 100% Elastomer, which allows me to use any type of lube you want to. I’m partial to silicone lube, because it doesn’t break down like water-based lubes do during a long masturbation sessions. And since I don’t have to worry about using a condom when I’m having sex with myself, silicone-based lube works best for me.
When you see the Sidekick in its package you’re actually seeing the inside of the thing. It’s 
turned inside out in the package so you can see the dozens of nubs that will be massaging your penis when you use it. Obviously the Sidekick is easy to turn inside out, which is all-important when you want it’s time to clean up, but more about that in a minute.
The hole you insert you penis in is a decent size, so you don’t have to struggle inserting it. And since you’ll be adjusting the pressure around your penis with your hand, it’s pretty perfect. So I lubed up and slipped the Sidekick over the head of my penis. I’m uncut, so slipping it on also retracted my foreskin. Honestly, I was really surprised by the feel of the nubs on my penis, particularly the head. It was so strange to have that kind of sensation on my cock. But once I got used to the sensation, I was thinking; man, this is great.
The other end of the Sidekick is closed. That means as you stroke this up and down your penis you actually create a bit of a vacuum, which is also very nice. Besides the up and down movement you can also rotate the Sidekick around your penis. This creates a completely unique sensation, which almost tickles. I loved it!
There are two minor drawbacks, if you can call them that. Once the Sidekick is turned right-side out (the nubs are now on the inside where they belong) the outside has no texture at all. This creates a bit of a problem with lubed up hands. I found that it was sometimes difficult to get a good grip on the thing. The other issue is the size. It’s only 5.5” long. Now that will fit most of us, but if your bigger than that, this might be a bit of a problem.
You can cum right in the Sidekick, because it so easy to clean. Turn it inside out again, wash in warm soapy water and let it dry. I found that once it dried; it felt a little sticky. So I just dusted it with little bit of cornstarch.
FULL REVIEW HERE
Next we have a much more elaborate sleeve from The Adult Toy Shoppe folks.
Cyberskin Pocket Pussy —— $39.99
Ken
Here’s the way I look at it; if god wanted us to jack off he would have given us arms long enough to reach our meat. Oh wait, he did! What luck for us!
I generally jerk off a couple of times a day. This amazes my partner, Denise. She thinks I’m some kind of sex freak, but I don’t know. I beat off much less now than I did when I was a kid. Back then, in my teens, I could and would squeeze one off five or six times a day.
Until this assignment as part of the Review Crew, I had never used a masturbation sleeve. Sure, I’ve seen them around, but I thought to myself; why bother? Ok, I’ll admit to being more than a little curious, so I jumped at the opportunity to review the Cyberskin Pocket Pussy by Topco.
This is my first Cyberskin toy of any kind. This stuff rocks! It’s amazingly soft and warm; there’s a silkiness to it too. They claim that it feels like real human flesh, I wouldn’t go that far, but it is truly remarkable.
The Cyberskin Pocket Pussy is designed to look like a real pussy and it’s very realistic looking, let me tell you. This may be a turn-off to some, especially gay dudes. But other guys are gonna groove on this big time.
When I took it out of the package it had a greasy feel to it that kinda surprised me. I guess whatever they put on it, some kind of preservative or something, keeps it from drying out while on the store shelf. Anyhow, the Pocket Pussy once outside of its packaging is a floppy thing. And that was a bit of a problem trying to get started with it. The whole thing is a little over 8” long; the sleeve is 6” long; the pussy measures 2.5” thick by 3.5“ wide.
I generally use silicone lube when I jerk off, but I couldn’t use that with Cyberskin. Luckily, I had some water-based lube available.
The Pocket Pussy has a very tight “vag” opening, it’s pretty stretchy, but gettin my dick in there was a problem and the floppy sleeve didn’t help. However, once I got the hang of it, it was less of a bother. I confess; this feels fantastic on my cock. I can apply more pressure using my hand on the sleeve, but I didn’t really need to do that. It is a mighty tight hole, and I’m not all that big.
So there I was stroking away watching some porn on the computer and thinking this is totally awesome. Although, I kept thinking the thing needs something to steady the sleeve or tunnel area while fuckin it.
Once I popped a nut in the sleeve I pulled my dick out all satisfied. But while I was admiring my new friend; I noticed that my spooge and lube was dripping out the other end on to my chair. I had forgotten that the Pocket Pussy has an opening on the end that is supposed to make cleaning it easy.
So I quick grab the open end of the sleeve and squeeze it shut so that the rest of my joy juice doesn’t come out. I take it to the bathroom and start the clean up. This turned out to be a much bigger chore than I planned. Ya gotta work soap and water into the sleeve and then rinse it all out. Unfortunately, you can’t really turn the sleeve inside out, which would make cleaning easier.
Now that it’s clean, or as clean as I can get it; it needs to dry. I tried drying it off with a towel as the package recommends, but I got little bits of lint all over the thing. DAMN! After that, I decided to just let it air dry.
Once it was completely dry the Cyberskin felt really tacky. I looked at the instructions on the package again and it says: “Generously apply Renew to properly maintain your Cyberskin product.” But what the fuck is “Renew”?
FULL REVIEW HERE
Just to round off today’s theme I offer my review of another masturbation sleeve.
FleshJack Ice —— $69.95
Dr Dick
So sex fans, I suppose ya’ll all know that the Fleshlight has been around for several years now, right? Good, I figured you would’ve noticed. I mean a person can hardly visit a sex related site these days without seeing one of their fetching ads. I realize that I’m a Johnny-cum-lately with my review, but like my momma always used to say — “all good thing come to those who wait”.
Like you, I’ve seen the Fleshlight around for years. And because of that I convinced myself I knew
everything there was to know about the device. After all, I visited their websites loads of times. I watched their beautifully produced and very sexy mini-movies (more times than I care to say). And I even interviewed a bunch of satisfied customers. I confess, even though I never actually held a Fleshlight in my hand, I imagined I knew everything there was to know about a Fleshlight. I mean hey, it’s not like I never used a masturbator before. How different could this one be?
Well, so much for baseless assumptions.
Imagine my surprise when my very own personal FleshJack Ice showed up on my doorstep. I discovered that just about everything I thought I knew about this marvel didn’t even come close to the real thing. Until I had one of my own to fondle and probe…if ya catch my drift, I was clueless. It’s true what they say; this is the granddaddy of male stimulators. But you really shouldn’t take my word for it.
My initial piece of advice to everyone in my audience is; don’t be a smug jerk like me. That’s right! If you’ve never had your grubby paws on, or your hot little boner in, an actual Fleshlight, you pretty much don’t know nuthin’ about a Fleshlight. Period!
The first thing that struck me about the Fleshlight is it’s way bigger and heavier than I imagined. I figured it would be the size of a regular flashlight. I was wrong. The plastic shell is a serious 10” in length. And by it’s self it’s fairly light. It’s the totally amazing Superskin™ insert that racks up the weigh. My Fleshlight weighs in at a hefty 1 pound, eight and a half ounces. And that, sex fans, is a handful, or two, for damn sure. More about this in a minute.
The Superskin™ insert is totally amazing. It begs to be touched and caressed. It is unlike any other texture I’ve experienced in a sex toy. And like I said, I’ve had an opportunity to test drive a bunch of masturbators and stimulation sleeves in my time. The Superskin™ is kinda like a jelly, but it’s so much more substantial. I know this is gonna sound trite, but it does feel flesh-like. And if you add some hot water to your Fleshlight, as I did, before you sink in your chub, well it’s pretty much the most amazing feeling you can have from something that simulates a human orifice.
And ya wanna talk marketing genius? All Fleshlight customers are invited to customize their unit before they buy. And that is where the fun begins. Since most guys are pretty particular about where they stick their joystick, Fleshlight has cleverly come up with several “orifice” options: pussy, mouth, asshole or “neutral” (apparently for those who can’t commit). The plastic case comes in silver, black or clear. There are optional insert colors too: pink, mocha or ice. And get this, you can even choose from among six different internal contours for the insert itself: Original, Super Tight, Ultra Tight, Speed Bump, Super Ribbed and Wonder Wave. If, with all these options, you can’t design the perfect Fleshlight for you, you’re just too damned fussy.
I want to draw your attention to one last feature before we take this puppy on a test drive. The plastic case, the thing that looks like a flashlight, has removable caps at both ends. The top cap covers the bulbous head of the insert and helps keeps it clean when it’s not in use. The end cap can be removed for easy cleaning. (The jizz-fanatics among us will appreciate this, because when a wank session is over, you can simply dribble out your spunk for some delicious DNA play.)
Like I suggested above you can also add hot water through the end cap for a warm, squishy jack. If you do add water, don’t over-fill the blasted thing. No more than three-quarter full is my suggestion. And this is best done in the shower or bath. Because, depending on the vigor of your stroke, things will get might wet, which just so happens to add to the fun. Just so you know, this was my favorite way to Fleshlight!
FULL REVIEW HERE
ENJOY
Hey sex fans,
It’s Black Friday; the day the holiday shopping madness starts in earnest. I know some of you live for this time of the year, so The Dr Dick Review Crew will do our part. This is Week 3 of this our Holiday Gift Giving Guide.
This week we will hear from Review Crew members: Denise, Jack & Karen and Gina & Kevin.
First up, our friends and neighbors (BC, Canada), the extraordinary women at Eros & Isis send a work of art.
Sweet Pea —— $68.00
Denise
I have the pleasure of introducing you to a luscious little playmate, Sweet Pea, from a fantastic new company in British Columbia, Canada, Eros & Isis. It’s such a rare find to discover a boutique adult products company. I am so over the cookie-cutter, mass-produced stuff made of dubious materials that floods the marketplace. How refreshing to discover a manufacturer with an environmental consciousness. Long live Eros & Isis!
Sweet Pea is a petite, 3.5” x 2.5”, bulbous headed vibe made of 100% platinum 
silicone. It’s completely safe and non-toxic, which includes the natural mineral pigment embedded into the silicone to achieve the antique look of their toys. It is meticulously sculpted, molded and cast by hand to appear as a turn of the century collectible. It really is unique. I haven’t seen its like anywhere else.
Sweet Pea features a removable one-speed bullet vibrator that can be replaced or upgraded to any bullet-style unit. The bullet come packed with batteries, I’m happy to report. So your first ride is on the house. You can use Sweet Pea externally, but I prefer it as a pussy plug. The sculpted base delivers delicious stimulation to my lips and clit. And it is so soft and comfortable I can wear for an extended time. Very nice!
There’s a bit of a secret to removing bullet vibe from the base for cleanup or when you need to change the batteries. Simply add a few drops of water-based lube between the vibe and the hole it’s in. Remember only water-based lube on a beautiful silicone toy like this. Work the lube around a little; apply pressure to the base of the toy above the vibe and PRESTO! The vibe pops out.
Sweet Pea is just one of the gorgeous Eros & Isis toys and each is available in Gold, Silver, and Jade. The silicone makes the toys easy to clean with soap and water. But it also can be sterilized in boiling water or in the dishwasher; sans the vibe, of course.
FULL REVIEW HERE
Next, we have another Good Vibrations Ambassador Review.
Smartballs Teneo UNO & DUO —— $34.00 & $44.00
Gina & Kevin
Kevin: “Smartballs Teneo are Fun Factory’s take on a very old idea, Ben Wa Balls. You know what those are, right? They are insertable balls that were invented hundreds of years ago, to enhance sexual stimulation and to exercise a woman’s PC muscles (pubococcygeus muscle). But since men have PC muscles too, I wanted to join in the fun. In other words, you do your Kegel exercises with these babies while they are inserted vaginally or, in my case, anally.”
Gina: “Smartballs are discreet. And as Kevin suggests, they are both pleasurable and therapeutic.”
Kevin: “Remember, the more Kegels you do, the more intense your orgasms are. And this is true for both women and men.”
Gina: “You simply insert the Smartballs Teneo UNO into your vagina.
Kevin: “Or the Smartballs Teneo DUO into your ass. Or the other way around.”
Gina: “Each Smartball unit has a finger groove for easy insertion and a tether that makes for easy removal. You’ll want to use some lube when inserting. And since these products are made of silicone, you can only use a water-based lube with them.”
Kevin: “Here’s the special part. Each Smartball has an inner ball that creates the a sweetest vibration sensation.”
Gina: “They aren’t as heavy a ball as I am used to, but they are comfortable to wear. And you can wear these for hours, if you’d like. Take them dancing, to the grocery or for a walk in the park. Every movement gives you pleasure while strengthening your PC muscles.”
Kevin: “They are extremely durable and easy to clean. You can sterilize them in boiling water or pop ‘em in the dishwasher, which makes the Smartballs Teneo shareable. You can also wipe them down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution. Or just use soap and warm water for a quick cleanup.”
Gina: “I like to masturbate with the Smartballs. My orgasms are more intense, because my vaginal muscles contract around the vibrating balls. Regular use can also help prevent stress incontinence.”
Kevin: “And I like to squeeze one off with a ball or two in my ass. They provide very pleasant prostate stimulation. And ya never have to change batteries or wait for a recharge.”
FULL REVIEW HERE
Finally, the last in our series of Tristan Taormino’s educational and enrichment videos.
Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide To Anal Pleasure For Men —— $29.95
Jack & Karen
Jack: “We’re back with another butt sex video. If you remember, last time we reviewed: The Expert Guide to Anal Sex. I was all bummed out because that video didn’t include men as the receiving partners in anal sex. How was I supposed to know that there was an entire video in this series that was all about pegging your guy?”
Karen: “Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide To Anal Pleasure For Men is just what we’ve been looking for.”
Jack: “The disc starts out with a tutorial on the subject of male anal stimulation and goes from the anatomy itself through the actual processes involved. And our favorite ass-mistress, Tristan Taormino, is the host of this portion of the film.”
Karen: “Then there are three sex scenes. The first involves Penny Flame and Devin. Tristan is there in an advisory role for the opening portion of the scene. Penny uses her fingers, a butt-plug, and a couple of strap-ons on Devin. This is the part that interested me the most.”
Jack: “Annie Cruz and Nomad are up next. She finger fucks her guy with up to four of them at once. DAMN! She also uses a bead-like butt-plug, an even large butt-plug, and a strap-on on him. Nomad fingers and fucks Annie’s ass with a glass dildo while she jills-off with vibrator. Very Hot!”
Karen: “I like the give and take between these two performers.”
Jack: “The third scene features Jandi Lin and Christian. Christian takes Jandi’s fingers, a metal butt-plug, a glass-like butt-plug and a, curved black prostate stimulator in his ass. Jandi rims him a bit, although not convincingly. Unfortunately there is no strap-on use here.”
Karen: “There was a bunch of stuff in this scene that I didn’t like. They had to do with exchanging bodily fluids, if you know what I mean. I agree with Jack, the connection between the two performers seemed a little contrived.”
Jack: “There are also tutorials in the bonus section. They include; Safer Sex, How to Choose & Wear A Strap-On, Solo Prostate Stimulation—involving the guys from the movie, and Anal Hygiene and Enemas—featuring the gals. This was just the stuff I had been looking for. Some may find the tutorials a bit dry, especially if you’re watching this for the porn value. But I think it’s important stuff to know, particularly for men, like me, who about to make the anal plunge.”
FULL REVIEW HERE
ENJOY
Hey sex fans,
Here we are at Week 2 of this year’s Holiday Gift Giving Guide. And we have two outstanding items for you. One will, no doubt, be familiar to you. The other is an outstanding example of erotic art.
The Dr Dick Review Crew Members: Kevin & Gina and Jack & Karen are here with the lowdown.
First, an old favorite from Vibratex.
Hitachi Magic Wand —— $39.95
Jack & Karen
Karen: “You’re not gonna believe this, but on our way home from Dr Dick’s, after picking up the Hitachi Magic Wand as our review assignment. Jack and I started to talk about the first time we’d ever seen a Hitachi. Neither one of us knew of the other’s history with the Wand till that moment. As it turned out, both of us had a similar introduction to this incredible vibe.”
Jack: So we were driving home and I said I had used a Hitachi Magic Wand
before. I told Karen that my mother had one when I was just a kid. I used to see my dad use it on his back from time to time. I never thought much of it till one day when I was home alone and had a little too much time on my hands. I couldn’t have been more than 12 years old at the time. I got the Hitachi from the cupboard, plugged it in and started running it all over my back, like I saw my dad do. I innocently slipped it between my legs. Holy shit, my little boy cock stood at attention till an almost painfully pleasurable thing happened only moments later. I came for the first time then and there. My skivvies were wet with something other than pee. I though I had hurt myself. I quickly put the Hitachi away and cleaned myself up; too afraid to tell anyone about the incident.”
Karen: “I have a similar story. My mother had a Hitachi too. She kept it in her bedside cabinet. I too was home alone one day; couldn’t have been more than 13; when I decided I’d see what this thing was all about. I remember watching TV and running the vibe all over my body. I put it to my cheek and it made my teeth rattle. I thought that was really funny. Absentmindedly, I ran it down over my chest. I had already developed boobs by that time. There was like electricity in my body that ran from my nipples to my crotch. I moved the Wand southward and BANG. I must have hit my clit through the jeans I was wearing. My knees buckled and the rest is history. I don’t think my mother ever knew how much I used her Hitachi. But let’s just say I nearly wore out the thing.”
Jack: “What more can we add to these stories. What does one say about an institution; a legend.”
Karen: “I wonder for the volumes that have been written about this, the granddaddy of all vibes, is it possible someone in our audience isn’t familiar with the Hitachi?”
Jack: “If there is actually someone out there who has been living under a rock for that past 20+ years, here’s the lowdown. The Hitachi is a very powerful 2-speed massager. It has a 2″ long by 2″ diameter padded, vinyl coated head, attached to a 9″ long heavy-duty plastic handle. And it is operated by electricity; so you have to plug it in. This is what makes it so damn powerful.”
Karen: “Absolutely, no other vibe, battery operated or rechargeable can even come close to the power of a Hitachi.”
Jack: “There’s nothing sleek or stylish about this thing. It’s pure function. I like to cradle it under my balls when I jerk off. I can feel the intense vibration all over my pelvis. It’s fantastic.”
Karen: “It’s loud too, but I don’t give a fuck. For as quickly as it gets me off, it could sound like Mack truck for all I care.”
Jack: “I can always tell when Karen is at her Hitachi. She always makes more noise then usual; and that’s saying something. Because this girl is a screamer.”
Karen: “I like to think of it as being expressive, not loud.”
Jack: “Whatever you call it it can wake the dead!”
Karen: “You do pretty good yourself, mister. When we want to terrorize the neighbors we both get out our Magic Wands, plug them in and go at it side by side. And I always get off first.”
Jack: “Never take a plug in toy like this near water.”
FULL REVIEW HERE
Next we have exquisite insertable erotic art from the artisans at XHale Glass. This is the second product we’ve reviewed from this outstanding company. Look for the Smooth Glider review.
The Heartbreaker —— $189.99
Kevin & Gina
Kevin: “What we saw first was this thick black velvet drawstring pouch. It is stately enough to carry the crown jewels.”
Gina: “And when we opened the pouch we saw the most magnificent textured glass insertable our eyes have ever seen. It is absolutely stunning. It stands 7” tall with a 1” diameter shaft. The tapered realistic looking head is only slightly larger. If that were all that was too it, it would be grand, but there’s more. The textures on the shaft
are heart-shaped and, depending on the light look ruby red or a deep purple. These hearts are actually 24K gold. Can you believe that? No wonder it comes nestled in its thick protective pouch.”
Kevin: “Before we dared use The Heartbreaker we set it on a little pedestal in front of the hearth and watched the flames in the fireplace behind it dance through the glass. It was so fuckin trippy!”
Gina: “I broke the spell by suggesting we take The Heartbreaker to bed. Kevin couldn’t resist the offer so we tossed a coin to see who would get first crack at it.”
Kevin: “Gina always wins these coin tosses; I don’t even know why we continue to go through the motions. At any rate, while she got ready in the bathroom I busied myself with getting two bowels of water ready; one with ice, the other hot water. Once Gina was ready, I blindfolded her with a silk scarf. I began kissing her all over, biting her nipples, eatin her cunt. Once she was wet I dipped The Heartbreaker into the ice water and touched it to her pussy lips.”
Gina: “I thought I was going to go through the ceiling. The cold hardness took my breath away. Kevin fucked me with The Heartbreaker while he masturbated. I still was blindfolded but I could tell what he was doing by his rocking motion.”
Kevin: “After Gina came a couple of times, I tried the hot water treatment. This wasn’t as startling as the cold, but it worked its magic too.”
Gina: “Once I had had my fill it was Kevin’s turn. He hadn’t cum yet, so he was totally primed for my assault with The Heartbreaker. I wiped down the toy with one of our toy wipes (it can also be sterilized) and slipped The Heartbreaker into my strap-on harness. The glass dildo has a nice base on it that makes it perfect for use with a harness.”
Kevin: “Gina lubed my ass with our favorite silicone lube; put a drop or two on The Heartbreaker; and before I could say ‘bugger’, she was in me. The dildo’s head hit my prostate with a bang. The slightly curved and textured shaft added the perfect sensations to my ass lips. I was leaking precum like a faucet.”
Gina: “I wouldn’t let him masturbate, but would rub his penis with my hand as I pegged him. He begged for release.”
Kevin: “She has a fuckin sadistic streak a mile long.”
Gina: “When I finally got him off with my hand The Heartbreaker was deep inside him. He came with such force I practically got knocked over.”
FULL REVIEW HERE
ENJOY
Hey sex fans!
As much as I hate to admit it, it’s that time of the year again. Today The Dr Dick Review Crew throws it into high gear to bring you our first installment of this year’s Holiday Gift Giving Guide. We want to get as many reviews out there in the next month as possible. We want you to have a load of swell holiday gift giving ideas, don’t cha know.
This week’s Review Crew includes: Joy & Dixie, Angie and Christa.
We start the day off right with two offerings from Doc Johnson.
Awesome Blossom —— $46.99
Joy & Dixie
Dixie: “We have a beauty for you this week. It’s called Awesome Blossom.”
Joy: “We are like totally getting into glass insertables. Six months ago we didn’t own a one. Now we do though.”
Dixie: “Yep, we are now the proud owners of three glass dildos. And they are 
spectacular. There is something about glass that really turns my crank.”
Joy: “Awesome Blossom is made of tempered glass. If you treat it with respect, as you would any fine adult toy, this thing will last a lifetime.”
Dixie: “Glass is so practical. There are no batteries to run down; nothing to recharge. It’s ready when you are.”
Joy: “Glass is nonporous and hypoallergenic, care and cleaning are a snap. For everyday cleanup a mild soap and water wash is fine. You can wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution. However, if you’re gonna share your Awesome Blossom or any other toy, sterilizing is recommended. Slip it into a pot of boiling water for a couple minutes and then it’s ready to go. Hey, ya can even pop this puppy in the dishwasher for a no fuss, no muss clean up.”
Dixie: “Exactly! And we’re all about sharing.”
Joy: “Oh, we should mention, for the sake of all our gay-boy friends, that Awesome Blossom makes a wonderful ass play toy too. You see it has a base on it that will keep it from popping into your pooper. The base also lets us use it in our harness. So there’s that!”
Dixie: “You can either chill or warm this beauty. And when it comes to lube; any lube will do. Regardless what kind of lube you choose, just know that a little goes a very long way.”
Joy: “In our rush to tell you all the features of glass, we have yet to describe Awesome Blossom. Atop the spiraled, clear-green shaft there is a clear teardrop shaped head. Inside the head is a three-dimensional image of a flower. The flower is a kind of wildflower, I would guess. The kind that blankets a meadow in the spring. It’s really sweet and lovely.”
Dixie: “The shaft is just over 1″ in diameter. The head is only a bit larger at about 1 1/4″ in diameter. The whole thing is just under 8” tall. There’s a bit of a curve to the shaft which make it perfect for G-spot (or P-spot) stimulation.
FULL REVIEW HERE
Next, Angie is up with the other Doc Johnson toy.
Alumination — Pink —— $29.90
Angie
Hello everyone! So glad to be with you again. I have the pleasure, both literally and figuratively, of introducing you to Alumination. It is my first metallic vibe and I like it very much.
It’s about as simple and straightforward a pleasure instrument as possible. It’s very slim and sleek; it’s made of aluminum; it’s waterproof; and it’s a 3-speed vibrator. It runs on two AAA-batteries (not included in the package). It’s not gonna knock your socks off in the power department, but it does get the job done.
One of the best features of an aluminum toy is that it is so heat sensitive. You can add additional sensations to the vibration by chilling and/or warming the toy. My favorite is chilling it by dipping it in a dish of ice water for a few moments. Oh MY!
It’s just 6″ long, maybe 3/4” in diameter. Like I said, slim and sleek. It’s very quiet too, which I really appreciate. Those of you who follow my reviews know that I love a waterproof vibe more than anything. Bath time is my time and my Alumination has been my companion for several weeks now. Only had to replace the batteries once. The battery compartment is easy to open and close, which is a huge plus in my book.
Aluminum is nonporous and hypoallergenic. Cleanup with mild soap and water; wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution or peroxide. You can even sterilize it in boiling water for a couple minutes.
FULL REVIEW HERE
Finally, the oh so charming Christa will tell us about her Synergy Erotic vibe.
Silicone Tsunami, Lavender —— $59.99
Christa
Wow, Dr Dick, you called on me to review a normal toy this time. What, you couldn’t find any freaky stuff for me? How odd!
Just kidding. I know I’m weird and all, but hey, I have my normal moments too. And the Tsunami is perfect for when I’m being my other self, the small town girl from Indiana.
So here’s the 411 on this amazing little vibe. It runs on 2 AA-batteries. Unfortunately, none came in the package. Hey you guys, some of us are starving students! Toss us a bone here and include some freakin’ batteries in your package, why don’t cha?
Anyhow, this sweetie is 100% silicone, which is like the only material that I’ll let near my precious pussy. I gotta have hypoallergenic or forget about it! I also sometime share my toys with my sub, butt-boy BF, Alex. He’s this total ass whore. I’m the first chick he ever had play with his prostate. Now it’s fuck me, fuck me, fuck me all the time. SHEESH!
You can share silicone toys because you can sterilize them. I can swish the Tsunami in boiling water for that purpose. I also wipe down my toys with a 10% bleach solution and a lint-free cloth between each use. But you can use peroxide or rubbing alcohol too. Warm water and mild soap is what I use if I’m gonna keep the toy all to my self.
The wicked thing about the Tsunami is that it has 10 fuckin’ vibration modes. That’s like crazy! I never had a toy with so many different vibrations. Luckily, it has an on/off button too, so you don’t have to run through all the modes to get to off. Much appreciate that!
FULL REVIEW HERE
ENJOY!
Caution: Amazing Sensations Ahead!
That’s right, sex fans, we have ourselves 4 fantastic and unique vibrators for review this week. And the Dr Dick Review Crew proclaims each one a winner. That’s amazing; when was the last time we could say that?
Ok, let’s get the ball rolling. We’ll be hearing from Review Crew members — Jack, Denise, Jada and yours truly, Dr Dick.
We begin today with a delightful prostate vibe, which comes to us from our friends (and neighbors in BC Canada) at Trinity Romance. Jack spills the beans.
Element —— $64.99
Jack:
Since I’ve started to show an interest in my ass as a reservoir of amazing sexual pleasure, I’ve become increasingly focused on finding just the right toy for my butt play. My partner, Karen, has loads of vibrating massagers, but none of them really interest me as an insertable. They are fine for external stimulation, but I’ve been on the lookout for something I can call my own and that I can safely stuff in my ass.
Because I’m so new to this sort of play, I have some very specific requirements for the toy of my prostate-massaging dreams. It has to be modestly sized, manly looking, something more plug-like then just a dildo and it has to vibrate. Is that too much to ask?
So along comes the opportunity to test drive Element, a prostate massager from one of the most 
trusted names in sex toys, Tantus. Curiously enough, I’ve seen pictures of this toy online. And ya know what, I passed it up thinking it couldn’t possibly be the toy I was looking for. For some reason, the photos I’ve seen of it make it look more menacing than it is. Once I had it in my hands, however, I realized this might very well be what I’ve been searching for.
It’s not nearly as big as I imagined it would be from the pictures I saw. It’s 100% silicone, which makes it soft and pliable. It’s got a manly enough shape; it’s more of a plug, then it is a dildo. And it sure enough vibrates. So check, check, check and check!
Karen said she thought Element would be as an effective G-spot vibe as it is a P-spot vibe. I suppose she’s right. But for now, this baby is all mine.
I greased up Element and my near-virginal pucker with a wad of water-based lube. (That’s the only kind of lube you can use with this, or any, silicone toy. But you know that already, huh?) I gingerly slipped the bulbous head into my ass. Pretty easy going! I stop to take some deep breaths, because Element is already working its magic. The shaft is easy to insert too. I’m kinda surprised. Not that it’s particularly thick; it’s just that it’s easy. Element comes to rest with the base tight against my cheeks. I’m lovin this big time, and I have yet to activate the vibe.
I wait a moment to let my hole adjust to its new friend. Then I switch on the bullet vibe that is embedded in the toy’s base. Wow, that’s nice! It’s not overpowering or anything, just a nice buzz. My prostate is jumpin’ for joy though. My dick is rock hard and drizzlin’ precum like crazy. I jack myself to nearly cuming then let go of my cock. I love this edge play; I can do this for a half hour easy. Element is amazingly comfortable in my ass. I would have never guessed had I not tried it myself.
I finally pop my joy-juice all over my chest. There’s more spunk then I usually produce. I’m chalking that up to the prostate massage. I love my Element!
If you’re a novice ass-diddler like me, and you think, like I thought, that this couldn’t be the ass toy you’ve been looking for; think again. It’s only 4.5″ x 1″ for chrissake. The bullet vibe runs on 3 watch batteries (LR44’s) and the first set is included in the package. THANK YOU Tantus!
FULL REVIEW HERE
Up next; yet another Big Teaze treasure! Jada will introduce you to this beauty. Did you somehow miss our earlier reviews? Look for them HERE!
Onyé —— $55.00
Jada:
I’m delighted to have this beautiful vibe to share with you. It’s one of the Big Teaze elegant B-3 line called, Onyé! I don’t know how to pronounce that, nor do I know what the word means. But they could have called it anything and it would still be the very stylish discreet vibe it is.
Onyé has eight separate massage modes (3 speeds and 5 pulse patterns). This little powerhouse is packed into a 4.5″ x 1.25” bullet made of gleaming black virgin ABS with a tasteful silicone band. The non-slip grip silicone band is perfect for keeping lubed fingers from slipping. All of this comes in sophisticated packaging including a satin-lined storage and brochure. You can tell that a lot of thought went into this presentation.
It’s splash proof, not waterproof. I wouldn’t use it in the bath, but it was fine in the shower.
The battery compartment is easy to open; thank you very much! It runs on 3-AAA batteries (not included in the package). Figuring out how the batteries are to be placed in the compartment was a bit of a puzzle till I noticed the tiny-tiny diagrams on the side of the compartment. I really needed my reading glasses for that.
There is just the one button operation on the base of the vibe, which means you have to cycle through all of the modes to locate the sensation best suited to your mood, or to turn it off. That might be aggravating to some, but it wasn’t an issue for me necessarily.
FULL REVIEW HERE
Now we have two vibes from a top of the line toy manufacturer, Vibratex. They are industry pioneers who bring a distinctive Japanese aesthetic to the marketplace. Denise starts us off with a cordless waterproof vibe.
Vibratex Mystic Wand —— $69.99
Denise
I keep saying; my Hitachi Magic Wand is my all time favorite toy! I ain’t about to give it up for nobody. You’ll have to pry it out of my cold dead hands. Got it? OK!
That being said, I have just discovered what I believe is the next best thing to my beloved Magic Wand. I present you with the Mystic Wand. It is the petite, cordless, waterproof sibling of the Magic Wand. And it shakes my word just like its bigger, older sister. It makes a perfect bath companion or a travel companion. It even comes with a sweet little storage bag.
It should come as no surprise to any of us that Vibratex is also responsible for introducing the Hitachi Magic Wand to the American market over twenty years ago. So hurray for that!
Mystic Wand uses of 4-AA batteries (not included in the package). The battery compartment is easy to open, but battery placement is very difficult to figure out. Only after I struggled with this puzzle for like 10 minutes, did I notice that there are miniscule images on the compartment that direct the user to the proper battery placement.
Like my trusty Magic Wand, this sweetheart of a vibe delivers amazing external stimulation. I’m not all that found of insertable vibes, so Mystic Wand is perfect for me. I love the ridges on its bulbous silicone head. A little water-based lube to get things started and before you can say; “whoa nelly!’ I’m on my way to big O-town.
The Mystic Wand features six vibe modes, each one more delicious then the previous one. And here’s something I really like; it has a separate on/off switch. I hate having to cycle through a whole set of functions just to turn the blasted thing off. Oh, and it’s surprisingly quiet; another big plus in my book.
The handle or base of the Mystic Wand is soft and silky. Is that silicone too? I wonder. Whatever it is, it is ideal material to use on the handle. It helps maintain a grip even with lubed fingers.
FULL REVIEW HERE
Finally, yours truly presents the other Vibratex vibe.
Pandora Vibrating Silicone Prostate Massager —— $39.00
Dr Dick
I’d like to introduce you to a handy little vibrating plug that’ll surely put a smile on your face. This unisex toy will jazz up whatever spot you got — G-spot or P-spot. Since I’m a proud owner of a P-Spot (prostate), I’ll do my testifyin’ from that particular pew. I’ll let all you G-spot owners come to your own conclusions.
This here Pandora massager is the perfect utensil for the novice butt pirate. Not overly familiar with things pokin’ you in the be-hind? Not to worry, this smooth ergonomic slim-jim will enter with ease. Guys who are used to having big toys in their hole will probably be unimpressed with this beginner’s model, but the rest of us will appreciate its modest size.
But hold on there, maybe you don’t know a butt plug from a hole in your head. Okey dokey, here’s the 411 on these puppies. Plugs are different from most dildos and other anal toys. They’re shorter and have a unique shape. The insertable part is tapered, designed for easy insertion and comfort while you got it in ya.
The plug tapers more dramatically near the base into a notch. This allows your sphincter muscle to close down on the plug keeping it firmly in place. Finally the flared base keeps it from slipping inside your bum. Pretty gal-darn clever, huh?
Anyhow, Pandora has everything you’d expect in a plug. Plus it has this swell hooked end that is designed to hit the spot, if ya catch my drift. And there’s a bonus; it vibrates too. Not all butt plugs do, ya know. There are seven, count them, seven different speeds and pulsations, which makes that little soft hooked end thingy do a happy dance on your P-spot. And boy if that don’t make you see the light, nothin’ will.
FULL REVIEW HERE
ENJOY
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