Is it ethical to watch AI pornography?

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If you’re in your 20s and 30s, you probably watch pornography. Millennials and gen Z are watching more pornography than any other age group and are also more likely than any other demographic to experiment with AI pornography.

As technology advances, AI-generated tools and techniques are becoming increasingly sophisticated and accessible. This can lead to unethical content, including deepfakes – videos in which a person’s face is replaced with someone else’s likeness, without their consent. Social media platform X (formerly Twitter) recently faced a scandal when it became awash with deepfakes of Taylor Swift.

But what about other kinds of AI pornographic content? How can consuming it affect you, and how can you make sure that you’re consuming it ethically? I’m a sex and relationship therapist, so I’m interested in helping clients with various sexual issues, including porn consumption problems. I am also curious about the ways AI could be used positively to create pornography that is not only ethical, but educational and sexy at the same time.

The impact of watching AI porn

While it’s perfectly normal to be curious about sex, watching a lot of pornography can affect your sexual satisfaction – and AI porn is no different. You might, for example, start comparing your partner to the hyper-realistic, but impossibly perfect, digitally generated actors of AI porn.

Already, research suggests that men who frequently watch online porn may experience erectile dysfunction. This could be due to the idealised unrealistic portrayals in pornography compared to real-life sexual encounters. AI pornography would likely only exacerbate this, with AI porn avatars able to participate in sex acts that wouldn’t be possible, or as accessible, for real people.

Among women who watch porn, opinions vary. Some women have noted positive changes, including a reduction in the shame associated with sexual pleasure. But others have expressed reservations about the beauty standards in pornography, finding them unattainable.

This stance is very much shared by anti-porn campaigners, who claim that porn degrades and objectifies women. They believe it feeds into ideas of male supremacy, potentially leading to violence against women.

Regulating AI pornography

The roles women are given within mainstream pornography often portray a different power imbalance than, for example, gay male porn. For this article, I spoke to porn actor John Thomas. He argued that gay male porn was somewhat more ethical than mainstream straight porn which is [made for men to consume]. “Both roles in a gay scene might be appreciated by the viewer, rather than the pure objectification of the woman in a straight scene.”

One of the many concerns with unregulated AI-generated pornography is that it can distort a viewer’s sense of reality, leading to misinformation, unrealistic expectations around sex and potential harm. However, since the moral landscape surrounding ethical AI porn is a grey area, we are pushed into uncharted territory. As new technology emerges, new challenges arise.

To ensure responsible innovation within the adult entertainment industry, it’s essential to be aware of AI’s ongoing integration into our daily lives. For example, risks could be mitigated by training AI systems to recognise deepfakes, violence or child pornography.

For actors in the adult entertainment industry working pre-AI, consent has always been key. I asked John Thomas about best practice in the industry:

When working for a porn studio [as a freelance worker], I sign a contract which typically includes clauses relating to rights to my image – usually I am signing to give the studio the right to use, and alter, my image [from the photos or video created] and distribute it. AI is not specified in any contract I’ve signed.

But since AI porn is expected to become more mainstream, the topic of consent becomes more ambiguous. As John Thomas adds: “I think one could interpret the contract to include AI … the contracts are written in such an expansive way that, having signed away the rights to your image, and consent to your image being altered, it could [hypothetically be used in AI].”

How to be an ethical porn consumer

Just as there are fair trade brands known for their ethical practices in producing coffee and clothing, there should be a safe space for consumers to explore their sexuality and fantasies.

As a porn viewer, you can be more ethical in your consumption by becoming porn literate, improving your understanding of realistic sexual expectations, gender identities, sexual orientations, relationship styles, kinks and ethical BDSM practices.

And if you decide you want to watch AI porn and want to minimise the risk of consuming unethical content, here are some tips to help enhance your porn literacy skills:

• consider joining online communities where discussions about “feminist porn” and sexualised content are open and encouraged

• if you are a fan of a particular porn actor, consider following them on social media. This will provide you with some insights into their performance activities and their preferred ways for you to access their content

• when coming across porn sites, take a moment to assess if they are recognised for ethical production practices. Some established sites are known for their commitment to ethical pornography. Typically, the ethical emphasis will revolve around aspects such as production standards, consent, representation of diverse body types, genders and races, portrayal of safe sexual practices and prioritising the enjoyment of all involved

• keep in mind the difference between fantasies and real sexual encounters when watching porn. Remember that what you see online may not translate to real life

• keep a close eye on your porn consumption. If you sense it’s becoming overwhelming, or impacting your daily life or sexual experiences, don’t be ashamed. Seek support from a professional, such as a sex therapist.

Complete Article HERE!

Erika Lust, the creator of The Porn Conversation

— ‘We are not used to educating about sex beyond the risks it can pose’

Erika Lust

The adult film director has created a non-profit online platform that seeks to give parents and educators the tools they need to discuss pornography and sexuality with children and teenagers

By Cristina Bisbal Delgado

Erika Lust, 46, has been directing and producing adult films for over 15 years. But her films have little to do with the mainstream porn accessed by teenagers and pre-teens at increasingly younger ages. Through her production company, ERIKALUST, the Swedish director tries to “show sex as something natural, debunking stereotypes and promoting diversity and mutual pleasure.”

Lust is the producer of what she describes as feminist porn — an authentic and egalitarian representation of human sexuality without gender stereotypes — and the mother of two teenage daughters. These perspectives inform the website she created, The Porn Conversation. Her non-profit online organization aims to serve “as a resource for parents and educators who wish to address the issue of pornography with their children and students in a healthy and informative way.” The Porn Conversation offers free guides and tools for parents, educators and young people; the resources were created in collaboration with sexologists and social educators. The Barcelona-based director created The Porn Conversation with her husband Pablo Dobner; it was inaugurated in April 2023.

Question. How did the idea of creating The Porn Conversation come to you?

Answer. I realized that the parents at my daughters’ school didn’t know how to tell their children what I did for a living, let alone have a conversation about sex and porn. Talking about porn was taboo, although their children watched it on the sly and internalized its messages without further context or explanation. The goal of this website is to provide tools, guides and tips for having honest and educational conversations about media information around porn.

Q. Is mainstream porn a real problem?

A. It is true that much of the pornographic content that is regularly consumed shows unrealistic stereotypes and, sometimes, a distorted view of sex, which can affect viewers’ perception of what sex is. That is why it is very important for both adults and young people to have a good and complete sex education, as well as be informed about the options available on the internet in terms of erotic content. Additionally, it is important to understand that porn is fiction for the purpose of entertainment, not a realistic representation of what sexual relations should be like.

Q. Do you think parents are aware of the true magnitude of this problem?

A. Are we generally aware of the magnitude of the problem of the lack of sex education? Often, young people access this content because it is the only place where they think they can learn [about sex]. Again, the most important thing is to educate ourselves and be prepared to start open and honest conversations — free of sexual taboos — with our children, so that they know what they can find on these websites, and that such material can never replace sex education.

Q. What would be the right age to have that conversation?

A. I always recommend starting the conversation as soon as the young person shows interest in their own sex life. The earlier we try to address this issue through information and education, not guilt and punishment, the easier it will be for young people to make decisions aligned with their values when it comes to consuming sexual content, if they choose to do so.

Q. Talking about porn with children is very hard for parents. What do you think makes it so difficult?

A. Our society’s taboos and lack of sex education are probably what makes it so difficult. Many parents may also feel uncomfortable or insecure talking about sex, since they themselves did not have adequate sex education and probably don’t know where to start. However, it is important to overcome these obstacles and approach the subject openly and nonjudgmentally. We must provide accurate information, encourage dialogue, and answer our children’s questions in an honest and understanding way.

Q. How should it be addressed at home?

A. At home, it is crucial to create an environment of trust and openness in which children feel safe talking about sex and pornography. We must critically educate about pornography [by] explaining its differences with real sexual relationships and promoting the importance of consent, respect and mutual pleasure. As a mother, I have had to have this conversation personally, and I have always sought to create that atmosphere of trust that I am talking about, so that [my children] could ask me questions and express their concerns without the fear of being judged. It is important that we break down sexual taboos so that young people can develop healthy relationships in the future!

Q. What should parents consider when starting the conversation?

A. It is essential that it take place in a comfortable, private place with water available, in case it is needed during the conversation. Keep in mind that this conversation may also take several attempts; or even involve several conversations, because it may be awkward at first. We are not used to talking about sex, and as parents or educators we are not used to educating about sex beyond the risks it can pose. That’s why I recommend a lot of patience, love and listening.

Q. Sex education is not offered at schools. What would be your approach? What do you think it should be like?

A. We should incorporate comprehensive sex education that responsibly addresses issues such as consent, body diversity, identity and sexuality, healthy relationships and pornography. In addition, it is essential that sex education courses be constantly updated to reflect the reality and needs of today’s young people.

Q. Your website has downloadable materials that are grouped by age. What are the keys for each age group?

A. Between the ages of 8 and 11, I recommend focusing on privacy, boundaries and respect for others. Between the ages of 12 and 15, more specific topics can be addressed, such as consent, communication and the diversity of sexualities, identities, bodies, etc. From the age of 16 on, it is important to talk to adolescents about sexuality as a natural and healthy expression, and to promote a positive view of consensual sex.

Complete Article HERE!

Not all porn is created equal

— Is there such a thing as a healthy pornography?

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We recently saw yet another controversy about sexual representation in Australia. Melissa Kang and Yumi Stynes’ book Welcome to Sex was attacked by the conservative group Australian Women’s Forum, leading to the book being removed from the shelves of Big W – and shooting to the top of the Amazon sales charts.

As a researcher on pornography, I was particularly interested to see that Stynes defended our need for sex education books by saying:

“Many of the discussions around … the putrid effects of porn on real-world sex … come back to teaching about sex and consent and starting that teaching young”.

This is interesting because the book’s critics also feel the same way – Women’s Forum Australia says that it is “deeply concerned about the damaging impact of pornography on women, as well as on men, children and society”.

It seems that wherever you sit politically, there is consensus that pornography is unhealthy.

Modern pornography

But not all pornography is the same. Digital production and distribution has lowered the barriers to entry, whereas previously the “means of production” (as Marx would put it) required producers to be able to afford expensive cameras, lights, editing equipment, the ability to reproduce material, the ability to advertise it and stock it to adult stores or a mail order business.

Nowadays literally anybody with a phone has the ability to create and distribute sexually explicit material. That’s resulted in an explosion in the variety of pornography you can consume. There still exists – although less – expensive glossy mainstream pornography. Alongside it sits a huge range catering to niche sexual interests – people who are interested in feet, balloons, clowns, or in baths full of baked beans.

There is a continuum now of how interactive sexually explicit material can be – from the traditional archives of videos and photographs (nowadays often accessed through “tube sites” like Pornhub) through to fully interactive “camming”, with media like OnlyFans sitting somewhere in the middle.

In this new world of digital pornography, how might we work out what’s healthy?

To answer this question I worked with a team, including Welcome to Sex author Melissa Kang, to establish an expert panel of sexual health experts, adolescent health experts, sex educators, pornography researchers and pornography producers.

We asked them to give us some examples of pornography they thought could support healthy sexual development – and then to reflect on the criteria they had used as they came up with these suggestions. This research was published in full in the International Journal of Sexual Health.

A different kind of pornography

The experts identified four explicit websites that potentially supported healthy sexual development, all of which feature a slightly different kind of pornography.

PinkLabel.TV favours queer indie materials which are often slightly punk in their orientation, with a range of different sexualities, genders and body types, presenting their sex in unashamed ways.

Sex School distributes pornography with a stated educational aim, naming videos with instructional titles, and providing sexually explicit materials that show viewers how to have sex, and provide information about topics such as “consent” and Squirting.

Lust Cinema takes a feminist approach to pornography, paying explicit attention to women’s pleasure and sometimes drawing on the aesthetics of groundbreaking feminist pornographers such as Candida Royalle, with high-quality lighting, better acting, more focus on story, and attractive male actors.

MakeLoveNotPorn favours an amateur aesthetic, with people who are not professional porn actors, often with bodies that would be considered more ordinary than professional pornography performers, presenting a relaxed and ordinary performance of sexuality, often with their own partners in their own homes.

In terms of the criteria the experts used to identify these examples, six of them had broad agreement. It is important, they said, to know pornography is ethically produced. The experts also agreed on the importance of showing a variety of body types, abilities, genders, races and ethnicities.

Both of these points match well with non-expert critiques of pornography.

Diversity and realism

There was also strong agreement among the group that pornography that showed a variety of sexual practices and pleasures – not just penis-in-vagina sex – had the potential to be healthy. This is an interesting finding because unlike the first two it doesn’t match up so well with non-expert critiques.

A lot of discussions about “porn literacy” at the moment critique pornography for being “unrealistic” – and when you dig down into the details often they mean pornography shows too much variety in sex – group sex, anal sex, kinky sex – rather than vanilla, monogamous loving sex.

The experts here are disagreeing with popular narratives about what should count as healthy sexuality.

Negotiation of consent

A fourth criterion on which the experts agreed was the value of showing the negotiation of consent on screen.

This is also an interesting one because most pornography doesn’t show the negotiation of consent. That’s not to say it’s non-consensual – the only pornography you can find on the internet (as opposed to the dark web) is consensually produced. However it doesn’t often show negotiation of consent – pornography is set in a world of fantasy where everybody enjoys everything they do sexually, all the time.

This means most pornography is not a great place to learn how to negotiate consent – that’s simply not what it’s designed for. Ironically the one genre of porn that often does show consent negotiation is BDSM – a form of porn that popular narratives about porn rejects as being particularly unhealthy.

Experts also noted pornography that focused on pleasure for all participants could contribute to healthy sexual development – important when we live in patriarchies that focus on men’s pleasure more than women’s.

Navigating pornography

In this world where so many different kinds of people are producing different kinds of pornography, don’t assume it’s all the same. If you want to find healthy pornography – or you want to advise young adults in your life about how to find healthy pornography – then here are some of the questions you should be asking.

Does it show a variety of body types, genders and sexual acts? Does it pay attention to the sexual pleasure of everyone involved? And does it show consent? If you pay attention to these issues, you can be more comfortable the pornography you’re consuming is helping you to have a happy and healthy sex life.

Complete Article HERE!

We asked men how they feel about dating, sex, and porn in 2023.

— The answers are not simple

It feels like sex and dating is more complicated than ever. To find out what’s going on, GQ surveyed you about everything from body counts to porn shame to lying on dating apps

By

Dating has never been easy; sex has never been simple. Still, right now feels like a particularly tumultuous time when it comes to romance. We’ve had a pandemic that, among other things, was a global mood killer. Before that, the MeToo movement spurred an ongoing confrontation with sexism and misogny at a systemic level and, for many men, an individual reckoning with how they behave towards women. As we’ve spent more time living and working remotely, dating apps and internet pornography have strengthened their grip over our attentions; the former is rewriting the codes of dating etiquette and spilling messily into how we talk to each other, while the latter continues to reshape our expectations of sex and intimacy.

It feels like we’re constantly being told that we’re living in a new age of sexual puritanism and a great sex recession, and yet sex clubs are flourishing and we’re spending £4bn a year on OnlyFans. (So are we horny, or aren’t we?) Meanwhile, birthrates have plummeted, marriage is in decline and, if Twitter is to be believed, dating is dead. Some of this feels like a necessary corrective on the stumbling path to equality and fairness; some of it feels like the dawn of a dystopia. (Not another one!) Put together, it means it can be hard to know what is really going on with sex and love in 2023.

So we thought we’d ask. Earlier this year, GQ surveyed 604 people from a representative range of age, gender, sexualities and backgrounds in Britain to ask about how you feel and think about dating, relationships and sex today. The findings point to men, in particular, being at a crossroads, with increasingly progressive attitudes towards monogamy and parenthood sitting alongside more outdated views and, sometimes, behaviours.

Sex isn’t our top priority

We asked men how they feel about dating sex and porn in 2023. The answers are not simple

First of all, we asked men how much of a priority sex and relationships are in their lives. Almost half(47%) said they can be happy in a relationship with little to no sex. This bears out in their priorities, too, with men placing spending time with friends & family (35%), working out (25%) and making money (24%) all as more important to them than sex and romance (12%).

This isn’t to say that men aren’t being adventurous. In a sign the post-Covid hedonism many anticipated might be upon us after all, 25% of men claim to have attended a sex party and would do so again. 26% of couples have done so too.

We’re not being honest on dating apps

When it comes to dating, 70% of men admitted they have lied about themselves on dating apps. Of those men, the most common areas in which they’ve misrepresented themselves were in their photos (36%), when describing their age (35%), their career (28%) and their height (27%).

Worse still, 21% of men in monogamous relationships said they were still using dating apps, and the men surveyed were more than three times as likely as women to keep an ex or former love interest’s nudes after a break-up (29% compared to 8%).

Meanwhile, TikTok debates about ‘body count’ – how many previous sexual partners is deemed acceptable in a prospective partner – seems to be playing out in real life, regressive attitudes and all. For many men, body counts count: 61% say it matters to them when choosing a partner (compared to 51% of women).

When is a body count too high? The most popular answer, chosen by 28% of the men who cared at all, was ‘more than ten’. For women, the point where body count became a problem was ‘more than 25’.

Interestingly, Gen Z may be more puritanical on this topic than their elders. Of those GQ surveyed, 71% of 16-24 year olds said that body count mattered to them – higher than for both 25-34 year olds and 35-44 year olds.

We’re living in the age of non-monogamy

Is it possible, or even desirable, to get everything we need from one person? In 2023, it seems the shape of relationships may slowly be being redrawn, from the traditional two to something more bendable.

Much has been written in recent years about the rise of consensual non-monogamy, with increasing numbers of couples looking to renegotiate the terms of sexual exclusivity. The pandemic led many people to reexamine what makes them happy and lean into sexual experimentation, while the steep rise in popularity of kink dating app Feeld suggests a more open-minded approach to sex may be emerging.

In GQ’s survey, nearly half of men (47%) would consider a relationship that isn’t monogamous, and surprising numbers are already: 9% of men said they are in a polyamorous relationship right now, while 12% said they are in a consensually non-monogamous or open relationship.

On the topic of cheating, 60% of men said they have had an affair, compared to only 32% of women. But when asked whether, in 2023, following or interacting with people on social media can constitute cheating, there was greater unanimity – 37% of men and 32% of women agreed it can.

Porn is making us feel worse

The Covid pandemic saw an increase in the use of internet porn, but porn consumption still skews heavily male – our survey results found that nearly three times as many men (61%) watch it regularly than women (22%). For a quarter of men, that means every 2-3 days (compared to 14% who use it every day, and 23% who do so once a week).

Despite how embedded pornography is in their lives, many men reported that porn has a negative impact on their emotional or mental health. Of the men who watch porn, 54% said it makes them feel self-conscious about their sexual performance, more than half (53%) said it makes them feel self-conscious about their bodies and 42% said it left them with feelings of guilt or self-loathing. In addition, 30% said it has left them feeling confused about their sexual preferences. In that sense, porn is becoming like social media: we know it is bad for us, we dislike ourselves for doing it, but we can’t seem to stop.

It’s not all solo viewing, though. Of the men we surveyed, 43% said they have watched porn with their partner, and 25% do so regularly. There was also evidence that good old-fashioned sex with a person isn’t over quite yet: when asked to rank sexual activities in order of how exciting they are, sex with a person was significantly higher (38%) than using pornography (7%).

We’re thinking (and worrying) about kids

It’s not just sex, dating and relationships that feel in flux. With birth rates declining around the world and first-time parents getting older on average than ever before in the west, expectations and attitudes surrounding parenthood are also being rewritten.

Recent research is putting rened weight behind the idea of a male biological clock, and there’s evidence that fertility is a growing concern for men: 40% said it was something they worry about, compared to 39% of women. Responsibilities around childcaring are also changing; 29% of men surveyed said they would consider raising children independently.

All together? It paints a messy picture of modern love. There are signs of progress: 61% of men said that they understood consent better after the cultural conversations post-MeToo (63% of people in total). But that can feel hard to square with the 12% of men said they’d find someone who’d had more than one sexual partner off-putting.

In short: we still have a lot left to figure out, and much more to discuss. Finding ways to acknowledge this and create the space for a better kind of conversation is, perhaps, its own kind of progress. That’s why we’re kicking off our Modern Lovers week with a series of stories about the realities and intricacies of this new landscape, from dating with borderline personality disorder to those battling post-natal depression, the people in love with AI-powered dolls and those trying to overcome their own ‘weaponised incompetence’.

Complete Article HERE!

What Is Ethical Porn?

— How to Jerk Off Responsibly

Watching ethically-produced porn is one of the best ways of supporting sex workers. Here’s what you should know before your next wank. 

By Laura Holliday

At first listen, the term “ethical porn” might conjure up the same kind of images as “porn for women” – overly artsy drivel that’ll have you drying up quicker than a bad Hinge voice prompt. And when you like things as wet as I do, that’s a pretty depressing thought.

“The term ethical porn, unfortunately, brings up the same connotations as corporate social responsibility,” says Cindy Gallop, founder of MakeLoveNotPorn, a user-generated adult video platform that runs on a paid subscription model. (She prefers to use the term “social sex” to describe her platform.)

But while the name might sound pretty drab, ethical porn in reality is far more exciting – and all-encompassing – than it sounds, covering everything from BDSM to blockchain-enabled porn. Here’s what you should know before diving in.

Most of us were probably first exposed to what we typically see as unethical porn back in the 2000s, when tube sites like Pornhub became the default way to consume adult content. In the same way you’d download a sketchy Limewire song that might infect your parents’ computer, you could also access porn at the click of a button without knowing how it was made or who uploaded it.

Thankfully, the continued march of the streaming era and the criminalisation of revenge porn has led to most tube sites cracking down on illegal and pirated content. It’s also meant that conversations around ethics in porn are more commonplace.

Though there are a myriad of definitions out there, ethical porn is fundamentally porn that centers on the proper treatment of sex workers. “Simply put, [it is] porn that sticks to workers’ rights,” sex educator Evie Plumb explains. “The performer’s pay, safety and treatment is put first and is fair. Consent, sexual health and credit are paramount.”

What makes ‘ethical porn’ ethical?

Deciding what makes ethical porn ethical hinges on knowing what is unethical. “There’s revenge porn or image-based sexual abuse, which is not porn, and we should be really clear that that is nonconsensual and it needs to be taken down. Let’s get it the fuck out of here,” says Lilly Sparks, founder of ethical porn site afterglow, referring to the sharing of sexual content of someone without their consent.

“Then there’s what I like to call douchebag porn, which is like the mainstream tube sites,” she adds. “They’re just run the same way as any other industry. They don’t want to do anything illegal, but they’re in it for the money. Then I think there’s ethical porn, which at its simplest level, is just people who care about the impact of the porn that they’re making.”

Ethical porn can be divided, broadly, into three main areas. It’s content produced in an environment that is safe, where everyone is of age, consenting, and happy to participate. It also fairly compensates its creators for their time and work, like any other business. The final – perhaps the most hotly debated – aspect of ethical porn is the content itself.

For many feminists, ethical porn isn’t performative – it’s inclusive and centres a diverse set of bodies by rejecting the male gaze. Plenty of ethical porn sites are founded on this principle, and many also hope to eradicate unrealistic expectations of sex by dispelling any myths or stereotypes that people might be vicariously exposed to when watching mainstream porn.

Sparks stresses that it’s important not to kinkshame, though, and to recognise that what might seem performative for one person may feel pleasurable or empowering for another. “You shouldn’t yuck someone else’s yum,” she says. “If that performer wanted to get paid 200 bucks to show that guy her feet or whatever, like, who is this other person to say that’s not ethical?”

How do you know if the porn you’re watching is ethically made?

Unfortunately, there’s no singular FDA-style regulator distributing a stamp of approval to individual companies or studios, though trade associations like the Free Speech Coalition exist to protect workers’ rights to a safe working environment. Regulation is also made more complex when some sites are simply collections of homemade content, rather than material shot on location.

Still, there are broader signs to look out that will signpost whether the porn you’re watching has been ethically produced and curated. A transparent breakdown of the verification process is key to knowing that a company ensures its performers are of age and consenting, and many will be vocal about this on their websites and social media accounts. This verification extends to those on camera and those behind it. “We require two forms of government issued ID, one of which must be visual ID,” Gallop says about videos submitted on MakeLoveNotPorn.

Directors should also highlight that they are aware of each performer’s personal experience and limits, and that actors enjoy the content they film. “I send performers a long checklist in advance, with a list of sexual acts from kissing to triple anal, where they can tell me how much experience they have with it and how much they would like to do it,” explains director and intimacy coordinator Paulita Pappel, who founded the Lustery and HardWerk studios. “On this base, I can create scenarios and concepts catering to their wishes.”

Healthy filming conditions, like regularly scheduled breaks and on-set refreshments, are also strong indicators that a production cares about the wellbeing of its workers. While these might not always be openly listed, some studios, like Pink & White Productions, operate regular paid (obviously) livestreams, where viewers are able to see how the studio operates – allowing them insight into the production process.

When it comes to user-submitted porn sites, the presence of a strong curation or moderation team is a good sign. “Our human curators watch every frame of every video submitted from beginning to end, before we approve or reject and we publish it,” Gallop says. Sites that also use highly discriminatory language in their descriptions and advertisements are also seen by many, including Plumb, as being unethical and should be avoided.

Not all of this information is instantly accessible. Sometimes, it might even require a bit of digging. But the more that you talk about ethical porn, the more companies will see the need to release clear information about their filming practices. This, in turn, might allow performers to feel more able to report any unethical or harmful practices happening in the workplace.

How to pay for ethical porn

Every single person VICE spoke to stressed that paying for porn was paramount in becoming a more ethical consumer. While consuming free “douchebag porn” isn’t as unethical as it was pre-tube crackdown, you can’t always know whether performers have been fairly paid. Paying for porn cuts out a huge amount of ambiguity. It also greatly reduces the chances of accidentally consuming pirated content, which hurts individual performers and the industry as a whole.

“In the same way you pay for going to the cinema, for your streaming platform or music, porn needs to be paid for,” Pappel says. “Consuming pirated porn is not only a copyright infringement but a means to hurt the sexual autonomy of performers. It is disrespectful and harmful.”

There are a huge variety of subscription-based ethical porn sites to choose from depending on your own tastes and kinks – we’ve listed more at the bottom of this article, and many offer free trials so you can try before you buy. If you’re interested in cutting out the middleman completely or have particular performers you’d like to see more of, you can pay for their content directly.

“Creators are likely to post and promote work that they feel proud and good about making,” says Jet Setting Jasmine, a performer, psychotherapist and founder of Royal Fetish Films. “Find a porn star you like and buy directly from them or the scenes they advertise.” Supporting individual creators isn’t just limited to buying their porn, either – you can also get their merch, buy something off their wishlist or purchase something off their affiliate links.

Is OnlyFans considered ethical porn?

It’s impossible to write about porn without mentioning OnlyFans, which has revolutionised the way we consume explicit content online. While some in the industry dislike OnlyFans due to its self-identification as a fan platform – including, of course, its failed 2021 attempt to pull out of the world of adult content – other creators, like Anne, are happy enough with their experience of the site.

Anne, who is speaking anonymously under a psudeonym to protect her privacy, has been doing online sex work since September 2022. She says that the most exploitative thing you can do is illegally rip content from someone’s OnlyFans channel or consume it through third-party sources.

“No means no,” she explains. “In all honesty, once the law catches up with the digital space, anyone who contributes to performer exploitation should be considered a sex offender.”

She’s had to send takedown requests (or DMCAs) to sites that upload their images and videos without their consent and has grappled with the negative effects of this on her mental health.

Although piracy monitoring services like Cam Model Protection tracks copyright infringement, you can make their job easier by avoiding pirated content and reporting any that you see. Never visit a site that appears to source content from creators without their direct consent, or doesn’t clearly verify or credit creators. On OnlyFans, verified creators will have a blue checkmark – they will have obtained this by submitting photos of their government issued ID and passing an age verification check.

How to broaden the type of adult content you’re consuming

Most performers and directors that VICE spoke to agreed that ethical porn usually swerves stereotyping of people of color, LGBTQIA people and people with disabilities. Ensuring that everyone feels fairly represented is critical not just for performers, but also for consumers who might pick up behavior learnt from porn through osmosis.

“When we consume porn that doesn’t have context, and doesn’t humanize the folks that are in it, we can risk normalizing this and we can see these behaviors come out in real life situations where people can be harmed,” Jasmine explains. “Unfortunately, many people learn about sex and sexual relationships through NSFW content. [We] therefore have a responsibility to increase people’s porn literacy and also increase access to content that is safe to learn from.”

If you want to broaden your porn horizons or just fancy a change, you could try another format like audio-based porn – female-founded Dipsea is an ethical, audio-focused, subscription-based app featuring erotic stories and scenarios. Voice actors for Dipsea are paid fairly for their work, with top actors reportedly earning up to $200-$400 an hour. Animated porn is another way to bypass the concern of unethical filming conditions or – but again, make sure you’re supporting artists directly, and just don’t jerk off to AI-generated porn, which is often trained on images of sexual abuse.

Support sex workers

Despite what shitty school sex education might have taught you, abstinence is never the answer. Anti-porn and sex-critical movements would like you to believe that porn should be avoided completely, but considering that porn addiction might not even be real, this is probably bullshit, and a view that further stigmatises sex workers. That stigma has real-life consequences for sex workers, too.

“We have no access to basic business necessities like bank accounts, payment processors or email marketing – private companies like Mailchimp, Paypal and others do not provide their services, which has no legal ground, and it’s therefore blatant discrimination,” Pappel explains. “If we want ‘ethical porn’, we must start as a society – and it starts with the media – to stop discriminating against the industry.”

Jasmine agrees: “Normalization of people consuming porn and participating in the porn industry will hopefully yield access to better working conditions, reduced stigma and shame, cast and crew compensation and an overall better product.”

You might still occasionally boot up a questionable streaming site to avoid getting caught on your ex’s Netflix account, but most people implicitly understand that illegal downloads hurt the creators making stuff that entertains us. The same goes for porn – we have to want ethically-made porn for more to be produced and things to radically shift. In a way, I guess you could say that getting yourself off ethically is an act of activism.

Some more of our favorite ethical porn sites: 

CHEEX is a subscription service focusing on realistic sex and erotica, well as audio content and live pleasure workshops. It features a variety of award-winning porn performers, is ad-free, and doesn’t share data with third parties. All performers are of legal age, paid fairly, and tested regularly.

Aortafilms is an award-winning porn studio focusing on queer cinema. They feature performers across a wide range of bodies and identities who are tested and checked in with regularly. Performers are also welcome to suggest edits so they are represented in a way that they agree with.

Dreams of Spanking is the go to site for anyone with this particular kink. They are a sex-positive and inclusive studio who pay their performers fairly and prioritise performer welfare and informed consent.

Complete Article HERE!

Porn Teaches Teens, Especially Guys, How To Have Sex

— New Evidence And Long-Term Risks

By Shaun Harper

Most American teenagers across genders have consumed pornography, according to a new report from Common Sense, a nonprofit organization that aims to improve the impact of media and technology on kids and families. Common Sense partnered with Benenson Strategy Group to administer a survey to teens ages 13 to 17. Of the 1,358 people who responded, nearly three-fourths said they’d either accidentally or intentionally encountered online pornography. Most had recently done so.

Teens aren’t simply watching porn to satisfy their curiosities or as a stimulant for self-pleasure. Seventy-nine percent of survey respondents who’d consumed porn said doing so taught them how to have sex. Just over half had consumed content that depicted actors choking, assaulting, or otherwise inflicting pain on co-stars. Researchers have long contended that what porn watchers see in films oftentimes shapes their current and future sexual expectations and behaviors. Men, women, and genderqueer people can be harmed by this, including those who themselves aren’t porn consumers but are in relationships with partners who are or have been.

“Exposure to pornography at too young an age can lead to poor mental health, sexual violence, and other negative outcomes,” notes Jim Steyer, Founder and CEO of Common Sense. “The overexposure by teens identified in our report can normalize unhealthy views and behaviors about sex and sexual relationships that we don’t want young people to think are commonplace. In addition, with so much exposure to violent pornographic material, a major concern is how this might impact the sensitivity levels of teens to other types of violence.” Teens across all genders are susceptible to these negative outcomes, but prior research shows the risks are more pronounced among young men.

Exposure and consumption rates presented in the Common Sense report varied by gender. Boys comprised 48% of the respondents, girls were 46%, and the remaining 6% were genderqueer. Despite the fairly even number of cisgender teens in the sample, there were differences on a survey question about intentionality. Fifty-two percent of boys said they’d intentionally watched porn, compared to just 36% of girls. In some ways, this is neither new nor unexpected. Think back to pre-internet times… teenage boys were considerably more likely than were girls to have pornographic magazines hidden beneath their mattresses.

Even though the Common Sense report is focused on teens, the consumption differences among cisgender respondents presented therein are consistent with other research that is inclusive of teens and adults. In a 2022 study published in Sexuality Research and Social Policy, a peer-reviewed academic journal, researchers found that more than 97% of boys and young men had consumed pornography, compared to approximately 77% of girls and young women.

San Diego State University Professor Frank Harris III is one of the most respected and highly-cited experts on college men and masculinities. “A consequence of porn consumption among teenage boys is their tendency to pursue inequitable and oppressive sexual relationships during their young adult years,” he says. “For example, some young men may seek to assert themselves as men in sexual relationships by mimicking the aggressive or violent sexual acts that are often depicted in pornography.” Harris and other researchers also acknowledge that porn consumption can result in some young men objectifying and engaging in abusive emotional, verbal, and physical interactions with their partners. This includes, but isn’t limited to heterosexual men’s relationships with women.

In addition to discovering higher consumption rates among boys, there were also sexual orientation and racial differences in the Common Sense survey. Just over 74% of respondents identified as heterosexual; seven out of 10 said they’d been exposed to porn. Among LGBTQ+ teens in the sample, it was 89%. In addition, 69% of Black teens who’d watched porn indicated they’d viewed films that portrayed their racial group in stereotypical ways. It was 61% among Latino survey respondents.

The Common Sense report doesn’t offer a three-way intersectional analysis of the survey results by gender, sexual orientation, and race. I’ve watched 150 pornographic films on a website that has thousands of videos showing men having sex with men. Obviously, I did so entirely for research purposes. Obviously. These videos did not involve boys, teens, or any men who appeared to be under the age of 18. I did an analysis of these videos by race. Specifically, I watched 50 videos in each of these three racial groupings: white men having sex with white men; Black men having sex with Black men; and Black men having sex with white men.

One set of findings from my analysis are particularly relevant to the Common Sense report. Films with white guys having sex with each other often had plots and story lines; the actors talked to each other more often before and during sex; and there was more intimacy between partners (emotional gazing in each other’s eyes, gentle caressing, kissing, etc.). Videos involving Black men had less of this – even less so when the videos included only Black men. Undoubtedly, some women and heterosexual men have either accidentally or intentionally watched gay porn. But queer guys are the overwhelming consumers of this specific genre. These production differences teach powerful, unfortunate, and oftentimes racist lessons to consumers. The Common Sense report confirms that queer teens are among these consumers.

“The ways in which dominant male partners appear in pornography – usually with impeccably fit bodies and well-endowed penises, along with the ability to simultaneously please multiple partners and perform sex for long periods of time without climaxing – are unrealistic,” Harris adds. “This may lead some young men to develop negative perceptions of themselves as sexual partners if they cannot meet these expectations.”

The Common Sense report concludes with three recommendations. The first is to resist the presumption that teens will avoid porn, especially since so many of them accidentally encounter it online. Instead, the report suggests parents and family members should talk with teens about porn, regardless of how awkward those conversations are. The report authors also advocate for age-appropriate sex education curriculum that includes learning about porn, as well as stricter legislation to protect kids from accessing online sexual content.

Because its profits are so massive, I believe that as an act of corporate social responsibility, the porn industry ought to invest a portion of its billions into organizations that seek to eradicate violence against women and LGBTQ+ persons. There is also a role for porn production companies in helping men become considerably more mindful of the dangers associated with internalizing or attempting to reenact what they see in porn.

Complete Article HERE!

What is sexual health?

— A conversation with a sex educator on sexual well-being, pleasure and porn

By Alia E. Dastagir

When someone says “sexual health,” what comes to mind? Perhaps you think about the absence of disease or ways to prevent unplanned pregnancy. Maybe you think of sexual dysfunction. But sex educators say sexual health encompasses all aspects of physical and mental well-being related to sexuality, and during September’s Sexual Health Awareness Month, sexual health is emphasized as a human right.

USA TODAY spoke with sex educator and “Come As You Are” author Emily Nagoski on the importance of , and the necessity for every person to have access to sex-related information, medical support and pleasure.

Question: What is sexual health?

Answer: Governmental, non-profit and professional organizations all have extensive, detailed definitions of sexual health. As a sex educator who works primarily with adults, I define sexual health not just as the absence of disease or distress, but as every individual having access to the resources they need to attend to every domain of their sexual and reproductive well-being, including physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.

The theme of this year’s Sexual Health Awareness Month is “Let’s Talk Pleasure.” How is our experience of sexual pleasure challenged by our culture?

Educators like me talk generally about the exclusion of a variety of people from being included in our sense of who “deserves” pleasure, but I want to talk about the impact of that on our brains. Pleasure is processed in the brain by just a handful of “hedonic hotspots,” and stress—including identity stress—can disrupt those hotspots’ ability to respond to sensations that, in a different context, it would.

Students of neuroscience have all heard that “neurons that fire together, wire together.” Well, many of us have had our brains trained not to be able to notice pleasure. People of color, people with disabilities, LGBTQ people and others have been raised in a culture that told them their bodies do not belong and they do not deserve pleasure, and their brains reflect that.

But I think it’s not a coincidence that pleasure-based activism now is led by precisely the people who were taught they don’t deserve pleasure: Adrienne Maree Brown and Ericka Hart, to name just two.

What are some areas of sexual health that don’t get enough attention, and why are they important?

Two fundamental areas are race and disability. The bleak reality is that sex education in America originated in the eugenics movement. Even “comprehensive” formal sex education is still grounded in ableist white supremacy. That shows up in our cultural discourse and even in sex research which overwhelmingly problematizes Black people’s sexuality, rather than treating it as a normal, healthy part of their lives. That’s beginning to change, though I worry sometimes that racial justice in sex ed will get overlooked as reproductive rights and basic evidence-based sex education are eroded more and more.

And people with different physical, cognitive, and social abilities deserve sex education that supports their diverse needs. Sex ed needs to be accessible, of course, but the larger culture has to change, too. I have had women with tell me their doctors had never, not once, talked to them about how their disability might affect their sexuality, and certainly didn’t offer resources for expanding their access to pleasure.

Which groups face the most challenges in caring for their sexual health and why?

I dream of a world where a Black, kinky, queer, nonbinary transfemme immigrant, who is unhoused and undocumented, has access to all the resources they need to attend to every domain of their sexual and reproductive well-being. Fully. Freely. Across their whole lifespan. And any objections anyone has to that, any judgments anyone has about my imaginary person, those are the obstacles we have to overcome in order for everyone to be able to care for their sexual health.

Are there universal truisms around sexual health, or is sexual health defined by individuals?

As much as I might wish there were universal truisms—each person’s body belongs to them and they get to choose how and whether they are touched, the gender binary is a trap that stops us from truly understanding ourselves and others, stigma is worse for our health than STIs, no one gets to impose their values on anyone else, people are allowed to be who they are—it really is for the best that each person has their own definition of sexual .

Are you concerned about the attacks on comprehensive sex education?

I am deeply worried about the continuing attacks on real sex education all over the country. We need comprehensive, evidence-based sex education because it normalizes the reality of human sexuality. I particularly advocate for values-based sex ed that offers an opportunity for to think about what matters to them, instead of explaining to them what’s supposed to matter to them.

The worst part to me is that the evidence of the efficacy of sex education in reducing harm has been there for decades. It is not that we do not know what works, it’s that we lack the political will to give young people the education they deserve. But we can change that. Organizations like EducateUS: SIECUS In Action are working to change sex education policies across the country.

What is sex positivity?

People have different definitions, but here’s mine: Sex positivity is the radical, all-inclusive belief that each person’s body belongs to that person, and they get to choose what they do with it and how they feel about it.

Internet porn is a much-debated topic. I’ve heard people call it inherently sexist, say it has led to the exploitation of performers, that it’s psychologically damaging to children. I’ve read defenses about the ways in which porn can be healthy, feminist and autonomous. What is your position on internet porn?

Porn can be all those things. And it can also be a fun addition to individual or partnered sex, or a way to introduce a new idea to your partner, or even a way to learn about yourself. For adults.

Apart from the potential for harm to performers you mentioned, especially women and trans performers in mainstream porn, the worst consequence of the instant availability of endless porn online has made it a replacement for actual .

By the early 2010s, college students were asking me questions about their bodies and how sex worked, based on what they had learned from porn. They thought they were broken because their bodies didn’t do what bodies in porn did. Learning about sex from porn is like learning to drive by watching NASCAR. Those are professionals on a closed course with a pit crew.

My advice about Internet porn is that if you decide you’d like to watch it, you should pay for it, just like you’d pay for a magazine. And just as you might buy coffee based on its alignment with your values—the eco-friendly option, the fair trade option, etc.—buy porn that is ethically produced, gives performers true choice about what they do and don’t do,

If you could only emphasize one message about sexual health, what would it be?

The question I’m asked most often is some variation of “Am I normal?” To me, “normal” sex is any sexual contact where everyone involved is glad to be there and free to leave whenever they choose, with no unwanted consequences, and no one experiences unwanted pain. Beyond that, your body and mind are yours to explore or not, based on your curiosity and your values.

Complete Article HERE!

Exploring the ornate and provocative at NYC’s Museum of Sex

The entrance to Super Funland, an erotically themed amusement carnival at the NYC Museum of Sex. The museum describes its mission as intending to “preserve and present the history, evolution and cultural significance of human sexuality.”

By

“I hope you leave feeling different than when you came in!” a cheery museum attendant calls to a group of people as they exit a small theater labeled “Tunnel of Love,” having just finished experiencing a “four-dimensional, abstract, artistic rendition of an orgy.”

Equal parts education, art and entertainment, the Museum of Sex draws attendees in with its playful advertising and taboo subject nature, with an interior that sparks thoughtful conversation about a wide range of topics. Queer identities and inclusion, the entertainment industry, pregnancy, abortion and sexual exploitation are all explored through historical artifacts, film and art. The museum describes its mission as intending to “preserve and present the history, evolution and cultural significance of human sexuality.”

The museum spans four floors and is cyclical in nature, both beginning and ending in a large gift shop. After entering through the store, there is a staircase that leads to the first floor, which is made up of a large room full of historical paraphernalia housed behind little windows. There seems to be no categorical order to the items, which include adult toys and clothing, anatomical models, OBGYN tools and explicit “how-to” guides. Many of these items were donated to the museum from personal collections of important activists in queer and sexual liberation scenes. All items are accompanied by notecards that not only explain the inventions and functions of the artifacts themselves, but also the historical and political context of the time they were made and any controversies that may have arisen due to their creation.

NYC’s sex museum invites you to take a risqué ride through history!

The second floor is an art gallery currently showing an exhibit titled “F*ck Art: The Body and its Absence.” The exhibit showcases pieces of art that explore themes of sexuality and identity from artists of many different cultural backgrounds, including works by Native American 2Spirit, Latinx, African American, Asian, Caribbean and Queer and Disabled artists. Many of these artists are also native New Yorkers. The gallery includes sculpture, painting, photography, mixed media and film pieces that display a variety of attitudes towards sex and sexual liberation.

The third floor currently houses an exhibit called “Porno Chic to Sex Positivity: Erotic Content & the Mainstream.” This exhibit explores the history of sex and sexual exploitation in American media starting from the 1960s, all the way up to that of the current day. The room begins with walls of magazine advertisements and props from television commercials with notecards that detail the sexual controversy that followed their airing. The tales of outrage were spurred by anything from the sexual exploitation of women to the placement of women in traditionally male positions of sexual power.

Past these artifacts there is a theater proudly displaying a banner with the words “Scandalous Scenes of Cinema” printed across it. Inside the theater, visitors are welcome to sit and watch both implicitly and explicitly sexual clips from mainstream movies that have scandalized audiences since their airing. Along the back wall of the room, behind the cinema, is a series of tall stalls labeled respectively with a decade. Aiming to present the evolution of sex as heard in music, visitors can step inside a stall to listen to music and watch the accompanying music video from each decade. The final wall of the room is dedicated to artifacts, much like the first floor, but relating to sexuality specifically within the music industry.

The third floor serves not only as the final floor of the museum, but the first floor of “Super Funland,” the accompanying amusement to the museum and the reason so many bachelorette parties frequent the building. Super Funland echoes the three-floor nature of the museum, but flowing down the stairs instead of up. To enter Super Funland, visitors are guided down a hallway featuring old carnival pictures and mirrored dioramas depicting the underground, risqué history of carnivals while they wait to be seated for the next showing of a six minute film about the history of the carnival, starting from ancient Greek times all the way up to today. After the film, the museum’s very own “Erotic Carnival” begins.

After exiting the film there is a large hallway with kaleidoscopic video footage from Coney Island that leads to a room of traditional carnival games — with a rather provocative twist. In Skee-ball visitors are assigned a different “God of Sex” as their icon, claw machines contain sperm and eggplant shaped pillows, the bounce house is fashioned out of balloons shaped like female breasts, and the entrance to the “Tunnel of Love” promises viewers an incredibly unique, four dimensional experience.

Going down the stairs to the second floor, one will immediately be welcomed by a spinning sign that says “Pornamatic,” where budding stars can step into a photo booth to see their faces on the — X-rated — silver screen. This room is perfect for couples, with a machine that dispenses wedding vows and rings, as well as a game where couples who kiss for at least thirty seconds can spin a wheel to win prizes. Most of the room is dominated by a collection of pink posts that you can climb up to reach a slide, with the entrance fashioned to look like a red-painted mouth.

The slide is long, winding and contains rainbow multicolored lights that blink wildly as you slip down to the first floor. The first floor contains the museum’s bar, as well as several themed photo booths and a few more carnival games. Exiting will bring you back into the same gift shop that houses the entrance, though with a renewed sense of wonder at all of the items within.

Overall, the Museum of Sex does a wonderful job of balancing “business and pleasure,” ensuring an educational, but never dull, experience for its attendees. Tickets include both museum and Superfunland admission, as well as one round of each carnival ride and game. It’s easy to win little knick-knacks for free as souvenirs, in case a friend asks you what you were up to this weekend. The elevator is currently non-operational due to ongoing repairs, so anybody in need of accessible accommodation is encouraged to call ahead to ensure a smooth experience. Admission is solely for those 18 and up.

Complete Article HERE!

Top 5 NSFW sites to learn what porn didn’t teach you

From literal “eduporn” to scientifically-backed demonstrations.

By Mashable SEA

In the United States, sex education is pretty poor; some states don’t require it at all. Because of this, porn often replaces proper sex education — which is a disservice to everyone.

Porn is a filmed performance. Everyone is positioned so all is on display, so sexual acts often look different than they do in real life (cunnilingus is just one example — givers don’t stick their entire tongue out IRL!). Most of the time, porn doesn’t show the intimacy, variety, and awkwardness that real sex has.

If you’re an adult and feel like your bedroom knowledge is lacking, you’re not alone — and there are resources tailor-made for you. They happen to be NSFW in that they show naked bodies and talk about sexy topics, but they’re not exactly what you’d find on Pornhub, either. Here are five NSFW sites to teach you what porn didn’t.

1. Eduporn by Afterglow

Cost: US$2.99 for a day, US$9.99/month, or US$69 for a year (US$5.75/month)

Who’s it for: People who want to watch porn and learn

Women-owned ethical porn site Afterglow has a series within the site called Eduporn. As the title may suggest, it’s the most porn-like of this list and incorporates explicit scenes along with tips. Your teachers are adult performers themselves, so they entertain as well as educate.

There are various “how to” eduporns to choose from on Afterglow, like how to have sex when you have a disability and how to have sex outdoors. It’s less technical than the subsequent options, but these go into practical tips on exploring sex. There are also some basics, such as “how to hook up” and “how to have sex with a woman.”

For those interested, Afterglow has straight-up porn options as well; the price includes the whole site, not just Eduporn.

2. Beducated

Cost: US$24.99/month if billed monthly, US$16.67/month or US$199.99 if billed annually

Who’s it for: People who want an extensive menu of sexy topics to dig into

Beducated is like a Coursera for sex; there’s a wide range of modules that dive deep into topics, not single videos. When you sign up, you list your sexual interests (and what you don’t want to see, which is a nice touch) and your demographics (age, sexuality, and relationship status). From there, you can explore sections like recommended for you, most popular, and based on interests you picked when signing up.

Beducated has modules for all types of activities, from learning basic sexual acts like cunnilingus and fellatio, to education on emotional wellbeing like how to navigate non-monogamy, to more advanced teachings like around kink and BDSM.

3. Climax

Cost: US$29 to US$227

Who’s it for: People who want researched approaches to sex and tantra

Climax is a video-based platform that breaks down vulva pleasure techniques based on scientific research. Climax pulled together insights from 74 sexual health and pleasure studies for their first two seasons, on external and internal pleasure respectively. Climax also conducted a survey of around 100 cis women and interviewed sex therapists and tantra teachers. The latter is especially helpful for their third season, all about tantra exercises.

Each season is a series of videos with different pleasure techniques. While not very porn-y, you do see a lot of vulva. For the scientifically inclined, Climax regularly includes statistics from their third-party research and surveys.

4. OMGYES

Cost: from US$49 to US$119

Who’s it for: People who want a scientific approach to learning about pleasuring vulvas

In partnership with Indiana University and the Kinsey Institute, OMGYES conducted a large-scale study — a staggering 20,000 women, ages 18 to 95 — to understand specific techniques that are pleasurable to vulvas. These techniques are distilled into three seasons (as of this publication): essentials, inner pleasure, and toy techniques. Within each season are a breakdown of pleasure techniques, with SFW explainer and NSFW demonstration videos and written descriptions. For many of these techniques, there are also research statistics and illustrated diagrams, and sometimes even video stimulations that you can “pleasure” with your computer mouse.

OMGYES has given me names for techniques I myself enjoy, and proves that I’m not alone in techniques. You will see lots of vulvas and breasts, but OMGYES is pretty scientific in nature.

5. Kenneth Play’s Sex Hacker Pro Course

Cost: US$247

Who’s it for: Straight cis-men or anyone who wants to learn more about vulvas and “sex hacking”

Kenneth Play is a sex educator and “hacker” whose expertise has been cited in Mashable. Sex Hacker Pro has the highest price point of this list and very much geared towards straight cis men learning about how to please their cis women partners. The beginning of the course, for example, goes over vulva anatomy and orgasms. Even if you’re not cishetero, though, there’s plenty of great information here beyond the basics like the neuroscience of sex and how mindfulness plays a part as well.

Play takes a no-nonsense approach when going over the fundamentals and delving into pleasure “hacks” like tantra and kink. Play himself and various partners demonstrate these sex moves like oral, anal, and squirting.

If you want to brush up on or improve your skills in the bedroom, try these sites instead of Pornhub.

Complete Article HERE!

How to Watch Porn With Your Partner

If both of you are interested in it, viewing porn together can bring a new level of fun and intimacy to your relationship. Here’s how to bring it up — and a few best practices to keep in mind.

by Kelly Gonsalves

Pornography is often exclusively relegated to people’s solo sex lives — that is, they only ever watch it when they’re alone. But in addition to being a very helpful masturbation aid, viewing porn can be a fun erotic activity to share with a partner. The question is, how should you bring up watching porn with your wife or husband?

Now, first thing first: There’s a lot of research out there about the impacts of porn, and the results are fairly mixed — some find negative effects on people’s relationships, some find positive ones, and some find none at all. When it comes to watching specifically with a partner, however, a lot of research has found good news: One study published last year in the journal Frontiers in Psychology, for example, found couples who watched porn together actually report happier relationships and higher sexual satisfaction than couples who don’t.

I’ve picked the brains of various sex therapists about porn use over the years, and while it can be a controversial topic for some couples, it can also be a surefire erotic boost for others. Jessa Zimmerman, a licensed couples counselor and AASECT-certified sex therapist based in Seattle, notes that lots of couples enjoy consuming adult content together, and it can be a healthy part of a couple’s sex life if both partners feel good about the activity. Some sex therapists even recommend viewing sexual media as one of many ways to help couples reinvigorate intimacy.

“Porn, like any other erotic media, can be fun and interesting for many people. What we choose to watch or consume reflects what we find erotic and arousing,” Zimmerman tells Fatherly. “And imagery in our minds — whether from viewing a video, imagining the scene we are reading in a story, or our own fantasy — engages our brain as if we are in the scene, as one of the actors or as an observer.”

Sharing this experience as a couple can help partners become much more intimate with what turns each other on, Zimmerman notes, not to mention serve as powerful fuel for arousal to kick off a sexual experience together.

How to Talk About Porn With Your Partner

If you’ve never talked to your partner about watching porn together before, Zimmerman suggests bringing it up when you have time to discuss it. Suggest it as an idea that might be fun to explore together, and ask them what they think.

You might also consider trying to bring up the concept of porn into the conversation first and then segue into the idea of watching together. Or you can bring it up during a conversation specifically about trying new things in bed.

When you do have the discussion, pay attention to the energy in the room and your partner’s mood and body language — make sure this is something that’s interesting and exciting for you both before you proceed with actually trying it.

As you probably know, porn can sometimes be a divisive subject. Some people feel very uncomfortable with the concept of it or the idea of their partner watching it, so it’s important to check the temperatures before you suddenly suggest the idea of viewing it together.

That said, conversations about pornography, while potentially uncomfortable, are important for couples to have, especially if you suspect your partner might have a problem with it. Much of the research that’s found watching porn can have a detrimental impact on relationships is in fact not about the impacts of the media itself but rather the impacts of the lying, secrecy, and feelings of betrayal that can stem from discovering a partner’s porn habits years into a relationship.

“It’s important to understand someone’s objections to porn,” Zimmerman adds. “If they are concerned that it involves other people at all — like, ‘you should only imagine me’— that might be a bigger conversation.”

If you’re struggling to move through these big conversations, a few sessions with a sex therapist can be helpful.

Watching Porn Together: Best Practices

If you do decide to try watching a few clips as a couple, here are a few best practices to keep in mind to keep.

1. Figure out where your interests overlap

“You want to make sure that whatever content you choose is appealing to both people,” says Zimmerman. “Often, we find different things erotic than our partner does. So what you may enjoy on your own may not turn your partner on (and may even turn them off). That’s why it’s best to talk first about the idea of watching something together and what type of content you’d like to view.”

She suggests swapping links to the kind of material you each enjoy to see where there’s mutual interest. “I certainly advise doing this with an open mind and no judgment. The goal is to understand what is erotic to your partner, and for them to learn the same about you. Then you can look for the places where there is overlap between what you each find arousing.”

2. Make it a bonding activity

Watching porn together should be a way for the two of you to connect as a couple over shared erotic stimuli and learning each other’s fantasies. Talk about the scenes as you’re viewing them, identify what’s hot and interesting to you, and feel free to touch each other if you get inspired. Importantly, most people don’t find it fun to feel like your partner is absorbed by an actress on the screen and just using your body as a stand-in. Keep your focus on sexually connecting with your partner and pleasuring each other. The porn is just there for arousal and inspo.

3. Remember the fantasy principle

It’s important to remember that porn is just a fantasy, and it’s often not representative of how sex works in real life between real people — or even what people would want to actually do in their real lives.

“We can find things appealing in fantasy but have no interest in actually doing them,” Zimmerman notes. “Be aware that your partner may find your interest in porn or erotica as a symbol of what you must want in a partner or want in real life, and they could find that scary or worry that they don’t look like the people in the films. You may need to find ways to describe why something is arousing to you and why that doesn’t impact your enjoyment of your partner and of your sex life.”

4. Consider other formats

Some people find it easier or more fun to opt for other types of erotic media, such as written erotic stories or audio erotica. These non-visual formats allow couples to explore sexy themes and fantasies without having to look at specific other people’s bodies.

5. Keep checking in

Watching porn can be a lot of fun. It can also stir up some complex emotions and worries, especially when doing it with a partner and suddenly seeing in vivid detail what gets them off. If you do decide to explore this as a couple, make sure to keep checking in with each other before, during, and after to make sure you’re both continuing to feel good about it. Remember to stay connected to each other throughout the experience, and keep each other feeling sexy and satiated.

Complete Article HERE!

‘There’s Not Just One Type of Porn’

— Erika Lust’s Alternative Vision

Erika Lust on the set of “The Cooking Show,” a porn film based on fantasies sourced from her viewers.

The Swedish moviemaker thinks pornography can create a society that sees sexuality as myriad and joyful, and where women’s pleasure matters.

By Mary Katharine Tramontana

When Billie Eilish called pornography “a disgrace” in a recent radio interview, the quote made headlines. The Grammy-winning musician said she had started watching at around age 11, to learn how to have sex, and that she was now angry about the way she felt porn misrepresented women.

When people talk about pornography, they’re often referring, like Eilish, to its commercial, heterosexual variety, which is what most of the free porn online tends to be. On those sites, you’d be forgiven for thinking it all looks the same. But depending on the sexual politics and vision of its creator, porn can look wildly different.

Take, for example, the work of the Swedish filmmaker Erika Lust. She has built her production company, Erika Lust Films, into an art-house pornography behemoth by offering something outside the porn mainstream. Most viewers watch Lust’s stylish, highly produced films by subscribing to her websites, where she also distributes videos by other like-minded directors. But her own films have also been screened in regular movie theaters in Berlin, London, Paris, Los Angeles and New York.

“There’s not just one type of porn,” Lust said in an interview at her office in Barcelona, where she has lived since 2000. “People see it as one monolithic entity, but it’s not.”

In the films Lust makes, she said her goal was for the female performers to have real orgasms. “When women watch porn, they need to see that women are being stimulated,” she said. “If there is a scene with penetrative sex, viewers need to see a woman using her hand or a vibrator at the same time — because that’s what works for most women.”

Lust, 44, added that she had spoken with many young women who told her, “‘Something’s wrong with my body, I can’t reach an orgasm with a man,’ because they’re reproducing what they learn from online porn.”

In Eilish’s radio interview, she said that the damage inflicted on her by online pornography went deeper still: In her view, it had “destroyed” her brain. The philosopher Amia Srinivasan has also recently considered porn’s effect on the mind, reviving feminist debates from the 1970s and

In “The Right to Sex,” Srinivasan’s 2021 best-selling essay collection, she argues that, “While filmed sex seemingly opens up a world of sexual possibility, all too often it shuts down the sexual imagination, making it weak, dependent, lazy, codified. The sexual imagination is transformed into a mimesis-machine, incapable of generating its own novelty.” (Srinivasan declined to be interviewed for this article.)

Although in her book she argues against censoring explicit material — a move that often unfairly targets women and sexual minorities, she writes — the Oxford University academic advises young people to lay off porn if they want their sex lives to be “more joyful, more equal, freer.”

“Perhaps then the sexual imagination could be coaxed, even briefly, to recall its lost power,” Srinivasan writes.

“Sex is such a huge part of who we are,” Lust said, “and there are so many more stories to tell.”
“Sex is such a huge part of who we are,” Lust said, “and there are so many more stories to tell.”

Yet Lust said it was film’s capacity to excite the erotic imagination that first drew her to pornography. While studying political science at Lund University in Sweden, she said she read “Hard Core,” a book by Linda Williams that is regarded as a classic of feminist film criticism, and that argues that pornography is a way of communicating ideas about gender and sex.

Feminist thinking led Lust to realize that porn, like many other cultural products, was mostly made by men, for men and from a narrow perspective: that of “middle-aged, heterosexual, white men,” she said. This male view of sexuality was “often misogynistic, in which women were reduced to tools for men’s orgasm,” she added. A lot of commercial porn is shot from a disembodied male perspective, and often the only part of a male performer that’s visible onscreen is his penis, Lust said.

The films she directs and produces, on the other hand, show women with sexual agency, who stimulate their own clitorises and whose facial expressions communicate their emotional and psychological states. Lust’s performers have a natural, everyday look and include people of “different sexualities, skin colors and body shapes,” she said.

Her films are also heavy on plot lines. Lust’s best-known series, “XConfessions,” are filmed depictions of her viewers’ real fantasies. Anyone can “confess” their imagined or real-life sex stories through the XConfessions website. If she likes the idea, she turns it into a film. The stories include classic and kinky fantasies and are sometimes made by guest directors, such as the Canadian cult queer filmmaker Bruce LaBruce. One of his “XConfessions” movies, “Valentin, Pierre and Catalina,” is a remake of François Truffaut’s classic movie “Jules and Jim,” a three-way polyamorous love story between a woman and two men.

LaBruce, who just wrapped up a feature-length parody porn movie for Lust set in the fashion industry, said in a phone interview that he was not surprised by the recent resurgence of negative attitudes toward porn. “The idea that porn is a male way of controlling women — that used to be the provenance of the Christian right,” he said. “Now, the left and the right have kind of flipped.”

The anthropologist Gayle Rubin, who was on the “pro-sex” feminist side of the 1970s and ’80s “sex wars,” opposing calls for censorship, said by phone that pornography was “easy to pick on” because, historically, it had been marginalized socially and legally.

“You know in movies when you think the monster is dead, but it just keeps coming back?” she said. “These assumptions about porn just keep resurfacing, going back more than four decades.

“Many people just don’t think as rigorously about porn as they do other topics. Porn is a special case in how it’s treated intellectually, which is badly — even among philosophers and others who should know better,” Rubin said.

While the porn industry is not known for critical reflection, there are, however, events like the Berlin Porn Film Festival, an annual gathering that seeks to provide new perspectives on the genre — artistic, social and even philosophical. Paulita Pappel, a porn performer and director who is one of the event’s curators, said that porn was often “a mirror of wider problems in society.” She added that, “The more we scapegoat and stigmatize it, the less space there will be for porn to be diverse, and the less chance we have to change the bigger issues.”

When Lust screened her first feature-length movie, “The Intern,” to a sold-out audience at the festival in October, many in the audience — men, women and gender nonconforming people, mostly in their 20 and 30s — said that they came to see the film in search of an alternative to traditional porn.

“I’m here because my friend recommended Erika Lust, because she doesn’t make heteronormative porn,” said Levent Ekemen, 28, a graduate student. “Her films show sensuality, and they’re extremely erotic.”

Lust, center, on the set of “The Intern,” her first feature-length movie, which had its premiere at the Berlin Porn Film Festival in 2021.

Lust said she hoped that the movies on her websites can have an “expansive” effect on people’s sense of the erotic. “With some of LaBruce’s films with male interaction,” she said, “men tell me, ‘Erika, I’ve never watched this before, but it was on your site, and it was hot!’ People are opening up their sexual visions outside of what they might be used to seeing.”

She added that she wanted to help create a society that sees sexuality as myriad and joyful, and where women’s pleasure matters. “The value filmmaking has when it comes to empathizing with other people is incredible,” she said. “Sex is such a huge part of who we are, and there are so many more stories to tell.”

“I have a right to tell them,” she added. “And no one can stop me.”

Complete Article HERE!

A Guy Who Learned About Sex From Watching Porn With His Friends

John in New Jersey talks about hooking up in college, getting a happy-ending massage, and the difference between finding someone hot and being turned on by them.

By

One of the first times I watched porn, I was over at a buddy’s house, this was probably in fifth grade. His older brother was two years older than us, and he showed a big group of us porn. I remember thinking, “Oh, this is kind of funny.” That was my first reaction to porn. I started watching it myself a few years later, but that was definitely an interesting experience for sure, standing around a computer with a number of other guys. I thought it was funny, but I was definitely, definitely intrigued as well. Soon after that I was at my middle school orientation; it was the first day of middle school and the kids from all the feeder elementary schools were in an assembly and I remember seeing this girl and for the first time I wanted to do something more than just hold her hand or kiss her.

I lost my virginity in college. I was 21 and it was a drunken one night stand. I was living with two other guys and it was one of the first weeks of school. We were living in a co-ed dorm and lived right next to these girls, and I remember one of my friends earlier in the night was talking about how he really wanted to sleep with the girl who lived next door to me. I thought she was cute, but I didn’t think anything of it. I headed back to my room to get something and their door was open and they were drinking and then we started talking and the next thing you know I’m losing my virginity. My friends were very proud of me. They all knew my situation.

Before I lost my virginity, I paid to get a happy ending massage. It was freshman year of college, spring break, and I was waiting for my fantasy baseball draft and I was really bored and horny and so I looked up “happy ending massages” or something like that and the websites made it very clear you weren’t going to have sex with the women. So I found a place at the mall about 10 minutes from my parents house and I went to this hotel next to the mall and I went up to the second floor and a woman who was in her 30s or 40s was there; again, I was 18 at this point. She told me to leave my “donation” on the table so I paid my $100 or $120, which would pay for an hour of her time. She and I both got naked and I got on the bed face down and then she just kind of started rubbing her body over me. After a couple minutes she had me turn over and she started rubbing herself on me again and I shot a load in like two seconds. Again, keep in mind I’m a virgin. She looked at me very seriously and said, “Oh, baby, you busted already?” and I said, “Is that a problem?” and she was like, “You’re only allowed to bust one time.” Keep in mind I’d paid for an hour of time and this was about seven minutes in. By the time I was getting up to leave, she was already on the phone with her next client.

Years later I did a nuru massage in Montreal for a friend’s bachelor party. Three other guys and I went. Basically a naked woman rubs herself all over you for an hour and then it ends with a happy ending. It’s more…professional… though. Like it’s very out in the open. You come in and they let you pick which girl you want to massage you; I chose the girl I did because she looked like Jamie Lynn Sigler. I was in a long-term relationship at that point and so were two of the other guys, but we rationalized it because it wasn’t harmful. None of our girlfriends ever found out. It’s not like we were gonna sleep with these women; it was just a massage.

I recently got out of a three year relationship, the longest relationship I’ve had, and I would consider her to be the best sex of my life. We weren’t crazy or anything. We weren’t like having sex in an elevator or a coat closet or anything, we weren’t really experimenting. I mean I think it was just the bedroom or maybe the shower. There were a couple times when we would travel and be in a hotel or something and we’d be extra frisky because it was a new place. But it was mostly that we cared about each other. I’ve had un-meaningful sex before and I’ve had a decent amount of meaningful sex and I think for me, it’s just always better when there’s a deeper connection. And we had sex frequently; we didn’t live together but pretty much every time we saw each other we had sex.

I’m pretty vanilla when it comes to sex. Trying kinky stuff isn’t really something of interest to me. I consider myself a really sexually-charged person. And if you were to ask my friends, they would probably put me near the top of the list in terms of desire or sexual appetite in general, but I’m not really interested in experimenting. I’ve never really been into sexting or phone sex either. Recently I went on a couple dates with a woman with tattoos and nipple piercings and that was really cool for me to date someone who was not my normal “type.” But she just started unprompted sending me nudes and I was like, “Where did this come from?” It was nice I guess, but getting nudes has never been something that I’ve actively sought out before. Just because I think from a guy’s perspective, it kind of makes you come off as like, creepy or desperate, and it really doesn’t turn me on much. We had a little back and forth about it, but it wasn’t like it was something I was jerking off to. Down the road, if I were to have a partner who wanted to try something more kinky, I might. Never say never. It’s gotta be the right person though. I guess I’ve always wanted to try a threesome with two women, but I don’t know that that’s in the cards for me based on the type of women I date.

My body has kind of got to be into a person, even if I find them hot. About five years ago, before my long-term relationship, there was a woman I was working with who I was really into. We worked in a place where everyone was in their 20s and we all hung out after work and went out drinking and one night I let her know I was interested and we ended up making out and then we had this kind of summer fling. She was just really a mean person, like my friends all hated her. And we were hooking up and spending the night and she was really attractive, but for whatever reason, whenever we tried to have sex, I couldn’t get hard. I think it was my body’s way of saying, “Don’t stick your dick in her!” I also had that happen once in college with a girl I was hooking up with my senior year. We hooked up for a bit and I was super into her—she was exactly my type at that time. And then she broke it off and she started sleeping around for a while and then when we tried to get back together, I couldn’t get hard. It was like, “Something’s not right here.” Even now, it’s not like I’m trying to wait until I’m married or anything, or that I even have to be in a relationship with someone. It’s just that ideally I’d have an emotional connection with somebody beforehand. It just makes it better, you know?

Complete Article HERE!

Want a better relationship?

Watch porn with your partner.

A recent study casts doubt on the notion that watching porn, whether alone or with a partner, damages romantic relationships.

By Stephen Johnson

  • In media and psychological research, it has often been assumed that watching pornography harms romantic relationships.
  • A new study challenges that idea by showing that couples who watch porn together tend to report higher sexual and relationship satisfaction.
  • In terms of watching porn alone, relationships only seem to suffer when there are significant differences in sex drive between partners.

How does watching pornography affect romantic relationships? According to popular media, the answer often has been that watching porn, especially when one partner watches it alone, can damage relationships and lead to unrealistic or unhealthy expectations about sex. 

Psychological research has partly supported these ideas. Although few studies have proposed that watching porn necessarily hurts relationships, research has found correlationations suggesting that porn exposure leads to decreased sexual and relationship satisfaction, decreased relationship commitment, and increased rates of cheating. 

But a new study offers a more nuanced look at the role porn can play in romantic relationships. The research, published in Frontiers in Psychology, challenges mainstream notions about porn, finding that romantic partners who watch porn together tend to be more sexually satisfied and content with their relationships — at least when the couple is on the same page.

The research on porn and relationships

The body of research on porn’s effects on relationships has had a few notable problems, according to the researchers behind the recent study. For example, studies often collected data from only one partner in the relationship and usually did not compare each partner’s disposition to pornography to the other. 

Studies also had tended to frame the exposure to porn as the cause of relationship or sexual dissatisfaction, omitting the possibility that watching porn is actually a consequence of dissatisfaction or maybe even irrelevant to relationship problems. What’s more, most studies on porn and relationships have not been replicated, representing a broader problem in the social sciences.

Porn, gender, and sex drive

In the recent study, the researchers examined two cross-sectional and two longitudinal samples of more than 700 heterosexual couples. They conducted four studies that, altogether, explored how porn exposure (both solitary and shared) relates to relationship and sexual satisfaction, and how factors like gender and attitudes toward porn and sexuality might contribute to the overall question of porn’s effects on relationships.

“Across three studies, we found consistent evidence that partners who watch pornography together report higher relationship and sexual satisfaction than partners who do not, and notably, this association was not moderated by gender,” the researchers wrote, adding that shared porn use may improve relationships because it improves sexual communication or because it’s a novel and exciting activity.

As for relationships in which one partner regularly watches porn alone? The results show that solitary porn exposure was negatively associated with that partner’s own relationship and sexual satisfaction, but “only in cases where their romantic partners used little or no pornography alone.”

The researchers called this the similarity-dissimilarity effect, which refers to how each partner can have different dispositions toward sex and porn. The study examined several domains of sexual differences, including sex drive, attitudes toward porn, and erotophobia and erotophilia. In terms of solitary porn use and sexual satisfaction in relationships, it turned out that sex drive was the only factor where differences between partners was significantly associated with lower sexual (but not relationship) satisfaction.

It remains unclear whether solitary porn use causes lower sexual satisfaction or is a byproduct of it. In general, the study did not establish causal paths for porn and relationship or sexual satisfaction. Still, the strong associations cast doubt on the popular perception that watching porn necessarily harms relationships.

Complete Article HERE!

How do we talk to teens about sex in a world of porn?

Teenage boys’ easy access to violent sexual images is creating a crisis for them – and for women, argues the anti-porn campaigner

Today’s online content is sadistic and extreme, says activist Gail Dines.

By

Violence against women is never far from the news, but currently it is high on the agenda – and porn features again and again as a factor. From the murder of Sarah Everard to the paltry sentence handed down to Sam Pybus, the latest man to use the so-called “rough sex defence”, it seems the world is riven with misogyny.

Sarah’s killer Wayne Couzens was attracted to “brutal sexual pornography”, the court heard during his trial. Pybus – who was sentenced to four years and eight months last month for manslaughter after strangling a vulnerable woman during sex – was also known to use violent porn. Tackling porn culture is clearly a key part of tackling sexual violence towards women. I have campaigned to end the sex trade for decades, and am well aware of its role in the sexual exploitation of women.

Last weekend, the very first virtual international conference about how to teach sex education from a feminist perspective and a porn-critical lens took place. Taking On Porn: Developing Resilience and Resistance through Sex Education was organised by Culture Reframed, a US-based NGO founded by the academic and anti-porn activist Gail Dines. Part of it focused on how to help parents to have conversations with their children about what Dines calls the “public health crisis of the digital age”.

Inspired partly by demand from the UK educational world, the conference is responding to concerns from many parents about “pro-porn” programmes running in some schools since relationship and sex education became mandatory in September 2020.

Dines points to one teacher guide that puts forward the argument, “Porn is entertainment, like a film, not a ‘how to’ guide. However, that doesn’t mean people can’t learn things from porn they might not learn in other places. Just as movies can sometimes contain valuable insights, so can porn.”

In this guide, porn consumption is likened to having a sweet tooth: “Porn is a bit like a chocolate cake, it’s nice to enjoy it every now and then but if you have it for lunch every day it’s no longer a treat and becomes the norm, then you’re just in a cycle of eating chocolate cake because you’re too busy eating it to make anything else.”

But, as Dines points out, today’s online content is nothing like the now defunct Playboy magazine. In short, it has become more sadistic and extreme. One influential study found that about 90% of the most commonly viewed heterosexual porn scenes contained aggression and violence towards women and girls.

Online pornography has become the primary form of sex education for young people, and the average age for kids to start accessing it is 11. Porn sites get more visits each month than Amazon, Twitter and Netflix combined.

Fred Hechinger, left, as porn-addicted Quinn with his father Mark (Steve Zahn) in TV drama The White Lotus.

“Many sex ed teachers feel ill equipped to tackle the issue of porn use among their students,” says Dines, the author of Pornland: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality. For Dines, because porn has become the leading form of sex education globally, the conference is an essential part of bringing sex education up to date. She believes that pornography acts as a kind of cultural script, which exploits women and at the same time limits their free sexual expression and pleasure. Parents have been telling Culture Reframed about how concerned they feel about their children’s viewing of porn, with one saying: “My daughter was bullied into sending a sext by her boyfriend, who then sent it to his friends. Culture Reframed’s online resources not only gave us the ability to help her, but also gave us insights into the ways our hypersexualised culture victimises girls.”

Tom Farr, a UK-based campaigner against male violence, with a particular focus on the harms caused by pornography, and spoke at the conference. His talk looked at the links between porn use and likelihood of committing acts of sexual violence, as well as health issues such as depression, PTSD, and even erectile dysfunction.

“Porn has become the de facto form of sex education for many young men and boys,” says Farr. “They have unfettered access to the most degrading, violent and abusive content imaginable at the click of a button. What are the individual and societal implications of a generation of young people groomed by exposure to hardcore porn?”

Another speaker was critical race theorist and feminist Dr Carolyn West, an expert in violence against African American women and girls, who condemned the racist sexualisation of women of colour in porn.

The UK academic Dr Fiona Vera-Gray, whose work on women’s experience of mainstream online pornography has been included in the development of the Department for Education’s relationships and sex education curriculum, discussed women and porn use. Women do use porn, but often to explore what might be expected of them sexually.

Lilith and Savannah, hosts and producers of the Female Dating Strategy podcast looked at how to build healthy relationships.

I spoke to Adam*, 17, who is writing an essay on his former porn consumption. Adam, who refers to himself as “porn-free”, says he felt pressured into porn use by friends. “It became a habit I couldn’t break,” he says, “and I started looking at girls and imagining them doing the stuff I saw in the videos. I stopped seeing them as human beings.”

Sarah*, 18, says she is looking to set up a “Girls against porn” group for 16-year-olds and over because she is “disgusted at porn-sick boys sending unwanted dick pics” to her younger sister and her school friends.

Like other feminist campaigners against the sex trade, Dines has been accused of being an anti-sex moralist who wishes to censor sexual expression, but, she says, nothing could be further from the truth. “Any progressive, humanitarian approach should focus on dismantling the porn industry,” says Dines, “and not the continuation of its insidious commercialisation of abuse and misery.”

Complete Article HERE!

A Beginner’s Guide To Watching Feminist Porn

Everything you need to know to access foreplay fodder that is female-led, queer-inclusive, and beyond simply glorifying the male orgasm.

By Shamani Joshi

As an industry, porn – or at least the male-gaze kind most of us are familiar with – is pretty fucked up.

Whether it’s X-rated platforms suggesting sexually violent videos to first-time users or allowing unverified uploads of non-consensual deepfakes, the mainstream porn industry we’ve come to know clearly doesn’t pass the vibe check.

This space, dominated by cisgender heteronormative men, has led to a chain of sexual abuse and harassment for countless adult entertainers. It’s also one that’s actively consumed by more men than women. This results in deeper real-life consequences, especially given that porn often serves as a substitute for sex education for teenagers.

“This is worrying because mainstream porn doesn’t make for good sex ed,” Ms Naughty, an award-winning feminist porn filmmaker who preferred we use her screen name since she keeps her personal life separate from her job, told VICE. “In [mainstream] porn, sex is done primarily for an audience, the positions benefit the camera, there is a focus on penetration, and it typically doesn’t show the best way for women to orgasm.”

Porn could then potentially damage men’s perception of women’s sexual desires, impact how women react to their own bodies and desires, or even lead to sexual dysfunction. A 2017 study in The Journal of Sex Research found that in the 50 most viewed videos on Pornhub, only 18.3 percent of women are explicitly shown climaxing on-screen, as compared to 78 percent of men – reinforcing the patriarchal stereotype that the male orgasm is the ultimate aim of heterosexual sex.

Fortunately, even the porn industry has experienced a feminist upheaval over the last decade, thanks to feminist filmmakers like Ms Naughty, who are leading the charge for porn that aligns with feminist ideals, captures diversity, and ensures its creators are paid fair wages.

Feminist porn, like feminist everything, comes with its share of stereotypical misconceptions. Many like to believe it is merely a male-bashing space, while others feel it is filled with vanilla sex that is simply soft and sensual.

“Feminist porn tries to decentralise the male orgasm by moving beyond penetration and the cum ‘money’ shot and create a diverse representation of bodies, sexualities and relationship models,” Paulita Pappel, a feminist porn producer and intimacy coordinator, told VICE.

According to Pappel, a filmmaker who grew up watching sex-negative mainstream media and presumed all sex work was exploitative, feminist porn is an all-encompassing space that has something for every kink and fantasy.

“[Things like] gang bangs are not inherently sexist, but the way it is shown [in mainstream porn] can be,” she said. “In feminist porn, for example, we shoot gang bangs as men serving the women [instead of the other way around], and always ask performers what they’re comfortable with before shooting.” The intimacy coordinator also pointed out that feminist porn gives its creators a space to explore their own pleasure, and capture it authentically for the audience’s pleasure.

“If you think about the language common to mainstream porn, it’s really very negative: ‘sluts deserve to get fucked,’ ‘anal destruction,’ ‘stupid Latinas taught a lesson’ – that kind of thing,” said Ms Naughty. “Feminist porn wants to respect and honour the performers because they’re putting a very personal part of themselves out there. And we want to show that sex can be fun and meaningful and vital to our identities as well as dirty and hot.”

The filmmakers added that in this space, it’s important to pay for your porn to enhance the chances of a producer paying fair wages to adult entertainers, taking informed consent from them, and not exploiting them. Most websites and services that offer feminist porn have subscription options that could range anywhere between $4 to $20 for a month to $50 for a whole year.

Now that we’ve explained the why, let’s get into the how.

So you want to get into… ethical pornos that focus on female fantasies?

Male gaze porn is notorious for turning women into mere objects of orgasmic pleasure instead of exploring the myriad of emotions they experience along the way. “Feminist porn is less focused on traditionally male fantasies, or will create it with a sense of irony,” said Ms Naughty.

According to the filmmaker, feminist porn expresses female pleasure by visibly promoting safe sex –explicitly mentioning consent, showing the performers as real people rather than sex objects, and making sure the camera moves beyond just focusing on the woman while excluding the man’s head from the frame.

“Feminist porn is eager to show that sex doesn’t have to be formulaic; it’s not white-picket-fence heteronormative,” she said. “You can have guys getting pegged, fisting, women on top, lots of cunnilingus, and, of course, heaps of vibrator use since that’s what is guaranteed to get a woman off.”

Websites to visit:

BrightDesire.com: A website founded by Ms Naughty with the aim of creating erotic content that showcased intimacy and joy. The focus of this website is connection and chemistry, regardless of the kind of sex people are having. These videos tend to show real-life couples who are familiar with each other sharing pleasure, and incorporate the laughter and tender moments that mainstream porn leaves out.

Frolic Me: Not all feminist porn is the soft, slow and romantic kinds, but if that’s the content you’re looking for, then this is the place for you to indulge in your demisexual desires. Ms Naughty recommends it for women or couples looking to find tasteful porn.

Sssh.com: A site that started as a dedicated spot for straight women, Sssh.com crowdsources female fantasies, then executes them through in-house performers, videos, and even editorial-style magazine content.

ElseCinema: This pay-per-view platform can help you find feminist and ethical porn filmmakers from around the world.

So you want to get into… inclusive queer porn?

Unlike its male-dominated counterpart, feminist porn is an incredibly inclusive space that embraces people of all identities, genders, sexual preferences, race and colour.

“Feminist queer porn represents a wide spectrum of sexuality, from gay to genderqueer,” said Pappel. “It has been a space for [LGBTQ+ communities] to find that representation of their identity at a time when mainstream media wasn’t covering it.”

Websites to visit:

PinkLabel.tv: A platform founded by Shine Louise Houston, an American filmmaker who has been making queer porn since the mid 2000s, Pink Label is a video-on-demand platform that is Pappel’s go-to for queer feminist porn – especially to find people of colour. It’s also a platform that offers filmmakers and performers who don’t have their own sites a shared income to pay them equally and fairly.

Crash Pad Series: Based on a film called The Crash Pad, which centres around a secret apartment only open for the queer community, this series is recommended by Ms Naughty for a no-holds-barred and honest sex experience that celebrates all bodies, genders and ethnicities.

Aorta Films: A site recommended by Pappel for its seamless ability to subvert gender identity and explore queer porn with kinks and BDSM, this site is a classic example of how feminist porn does not have to be “pastel or soft,” but can also be hardcore. Films on this platform also explicitly show consensual negotiations and safe words through before-and-after scenes, to make for safe experiences that won’t trigger the viewer.

Indie Porn Revolution: The oldest running queer porn site stands for “subversive smut made by ladies, artists, and queers,” and aims to offer a wide array of content that explores distinctive perspectives, all of which are far from the male gaze.

So you want to… get into arthouse porn

Feminist porn filmmakers pride themselves in their ability to create content that is as aesthetic as it is erotic. While this porn can be quite similar to sex scenes in mainstream movies, filmmakers say they like to curate a vibe that makes the entire porn-viewing experience more about the way the film is shot rather than just leading up to the cum shot.

“Feminist porn isn’t just about arousal,” said Ms Naughty. “It can be about emotion, about protest, about art.”

Websites to visit:

BlueArtichokeFilms.com: A platform founded by Jennifer Lyon Bell, an American filmmaker based in the Netherlands, Ms Naughty describes this site as “cinematic, intelligent and extremely well-made.” According to her, these explicit films are arousing, but equally interested in the reasons why people have sex and the dynamic behind that, making it as much about the ideas as about hot sex.

Four Chambers: Run by British artist and performer Vex Ashley, this site is recommended by Ms Naughty for films that are distinctively moody, sensual, intense, and kinky. The scenes all follow a theme and are shot mostly with natural light, featuring diverse performers as well as sex styles.

So you want to… get into documentary porn?

As most feminist porn filmmakers will point out, ethical consumption of porn means moving beyond the professionals. Feminist porn is as much about exploring amateur online spaces, including social media, as it is about providing female-friendly smut.

“I prefer to use the term documentary porn over amateur porn, which sounds more like the performer is doing it as a hobby,” said Pappel. She explained that documentary porn is made by building the script around what the couple or performers derive their pleasure from. “From kissing to kink, they tell us what they want and we create the scenario around that.”

Websites to visit:

OnlyFans: An internet content subscription service where creators can charge people to subscribe to their content, OnlyFans allows sex workers and up-and-coming pornstars to cut out the middleman and deal with their customers directly. This not only minimises the chances of exploitation but also offers you the chance to get exactly what you want from an adult entertainer who is then compensated fairly.

Lustery: Founded by Paulita Pappel, this platform has real-life couples, who are also exhibitionists, filming themselves having sex. “They have a pre-existing relationship with each other, which gives it a different level of intimacy,” Pappel said. “You’re always performing when you’re having sex with a partner, and this website uses real couples and cameos from all over the world to show those personal, private moments with consent.”

r/chickflixxx: Reddit isn’t always the safest space for women but this subreddit aims to be one. Here, you can find women posting their favourite female-friendly X-rated videos, and even interact with sexperts – including sex therapists and other adult entertainers.

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