Category Archives: Dildo

Elemental, my dear Watson!

Hey sex fans,

This week’s Product Review Friday is coming your way a day late. Technical difficulties {damn internet tubes!} prohibited me from posting this yesterday, Friday. But you know what they say, better late than never.

The Dr Dick Review Crew and I are delighted to welcome a new retailer to our happy family — Vibrator.com. They are the purveyors of fine sex toys and they sent us a new Tantus product for review.

Review crew members, Ken & Denise, are here to show you around.

Elements Pi —— $49.00

Ken & Denise
Denise: “The Review Crew has reviewed a few Tantus products so far. You can find them HERE.  From all we’ve seen, Tantus is a health conscious and pleasure centric company that is producing some really wonderful products.”
Ken: “The Elements Pi is a real good example of this corporate philosophy. It is made of 100% pure silicone, so you’ll never have to worry about using it internally. It is completely non-toxic and safe.”
Denise: “And because it’s nonporous high-grade silicone it is easy to clean and you can sterilize it too. This makes it the perfect toy to share.”
Ken: “And since both Denise and I are totally into our butts we love a toy we can share!”
Denise: “The Elements Pi is ideal for the novice butt pirate. It comes with a removable vibrator and features an arch of bead-shaped ripples from a very slim 5/8″ up to 1 1/4″ diameter. Its ergonomic base is molded to the probe end. And the silicone warms to your body. It also makes it is very pliable and comfortable.”
Ken: “The base also has a bit of a tab on it so that when inserted it provides a little extra ‘taint’ (perineum) massage. Very nice!”
Denise: “You should also know that the Elements Pi doubles as a fantastic G-spot vibe. The textured pad on the base, that Ken just mentioned, is an effective clit stimulator too.”
Ken: “If you are new to ass play, you’ll want to keep in mind that you need a lot of lube for any insertions. And in the case of the Elements Pi, because it is a quality silicone toy, you can only use a water-based lube. A silicone-based lube would degrade the toy’s surface and you don’t want that.”
Denise: “Ken and I can’t decide if the Elements Pi is a plug or a probe. I say it’s a little of both. The graduated sized beads on the shaft make for easy insertion even for someone unfamiliar with anything in her/his butt. The user can enjoy just hanging out with the toy on each of its ridges.”
Ken: “That’s true enough, but if it was supposed to be a plug, then there should have been another ridge or notch on the shaft at the base so that my ass sphincter could clamp down on it and keep the Elements Pi in place. As it is, that doesn’t happen and so I found that it kept slipping out of my hole. This was disappointing when I tried to use it as a plug in my ass while fucking Denise. But, I must say, it is terrific to sit on.”
Denise: “The bullet vibe that nestles in the base of the Elements Pi comes already loaded with batteries; those little round watch batteries. It has only the one speed, but I suppose you could easily swap it out for a dual-speed bullet of the same size.”
Full review HERE.

ENJOY

Meat Substitutes

Hey sex fans!

And now for something completely different! It’s Product Review Friday and instead of reviewing a sex toy sent to us from a manufacturer or retailer we’re gonna make our own sex toy. That’s right; thanks to our friends at Empire Labs we’re gonna make some vibrating dildos.

Dr Dick Review Crew members Glenn & Hank and Ken & Denise will show you around the two kits we got.

Clone-A-Willy Kit Original —— $39.95

Glenn & Hank
Glenn: “What’s more fun than buying yourself a sex toy? Making your own, that’s what.”
Hank: “Glenn nearly wet himself when he caught sight of the Clone-A-Willy Kit. He can’t help it; he fancies himself a regular Martha Stewart. I swear this man can make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.”
Glenn: “Awww, see how you are? Isn’t he sweet? It’s true though, I got an instant hardon thinking about cloning Hank’s willie.”
Hank: “At first I thought, damn, my hog ain’t gonna fit in that tube. But it did and the rest is history.”
Glenn: “Hold on there, big fella! We didn’t even tell them what happened.”
Hank: “Yeah, sorry, I got a little ahead of myself.”
Glenn: “If you don’t mind me quoting from the Empire Labs promotional materials. The Clone-A-Willy’s medically tested molding gel process captures incredible, life-like detail, making this the most personalized vibrating sex toy you will ever own. Each kit contains everything you need to create an exact replica of any penis in the comfort of your own home.”
Hank: “There are several things you ought to know from the get-go. First, you must follow the directions exactly as presented. Second, it’s essential that you have everything near-to-hand before you start to mix any of the ingredients. Third, if it’s your cock that’s getting molded, you will have to maintain an erection under some stressful conditions; like ‘hurry up and wait!’”
Glenn: “All very good points! I will add that the process can get a little messy. If you’re anal retentive like me you will want to use disposable plastic containers to do your mixing. And be sure to cover your countertop and floor with some plastic sheeting. I used some leftover plastic painting tarp that I draped over the counter and on to the floor.”
Hank: “While Glenn was busy in the kitchen I put on some porn and stretched out on the couch. I slipped on a snug cock ring and started to pull my pud using a little water-based lube. I wanted to make sure that I was at full-mast for my big close-up.”
Glenn: “Once I had everything set up I called for Hank to join me. He had this sheepish look on his face, but he also had a raging hardon. I think he was afraid that he would lose his wood before the mold was set. I assured him we’d work fast. Well actually, that’s precisely what you have to do…work fast. We trimmed the plastic tube to the right size. I mixed the molding powder in water and filled the tube. Hank plunged in his dick and we held it there till the mold set.”
Hank: “The anticipation was the worst part. But it’s over almost as fast as it began. I think it only took a minute for the mold to set. I pealed off the excess molding material, twisted the plastic tube a bit and out popped my cock; no worse for the wear.”
Full Review HERE

Clone-A-Willy Kit Glow in the Dark —— $44.95

Ken & Denise
Ken: “We didn’t exactly know what we were getting into with this Clone-A-Willy Kit. It promises a lifelike replica of my dick that would Glow in the Dark. I was game, at least initially.”
Denise: “Yeah, we thought it would be a fun little project full of laughs. Well that’s how it started out anyway.”
Ken: “Since I was the one being ‘molded’, the pressure was on me to maintain an erection under less than erotic circumstances. I tell you, it’s not as easy as it sounds. I have a renewed appreciation for all the male porn stars out there, who seem to have a perpetual bone.”
Denise: “I don’t suppose I helped the situation all that much, because I became increasingly anxious about following the directions for preparing the molding goop. You actually have to have the water you mix with the powder at the precise temperature. And I read a lot of comments online posted by couples who screwed up the process and I sort of lost my nerve.”
Ken: “I suggested that we put the kit away till we were in a better mindset and I wasn’t worried about my boner.”
Denise: “We checked in with Dr Dick about our apprehensions and he told us to approach it alike a game, not a project. That helped some, because Ken and I were beginning to freak out about messing things up.”
Ken: “Dr Dick also suggested that I wear a cockring to help with maintaining my stiffy. Don’t know why I didn’t think of that. I also decided I’d slip in a little butt plug, because that always gets me going.”
Denise: “I decided to have a glass of wine…ok, it was a big glass of wine. And that helped too; it really took the edge off.”
Ken: “Denise was too busy organizing everything and mixing stuff to help me with my wood. Generally all she has to do is go down on me and I’m as hard as a rock.”
Denise: “Actually he did fine on his own. He’s such a trooper. All I can say is that I’m happy it wasn’t me that had to get turned on under these conditions.”
Ken: “Once the molding goop is ready it all has to be done very quickly. Luckily, I was ready. I sunk my junk into the goop and prayed that I’d hold the erection for the minute or so it takes for the mold to set up. A minute never lasted so long. We like totally recommend that you have something on the floor and the countertop to prevent spill messes.”
Full Review HERE

ENJOY

Lovin’ It!

Product Review Friday is back again and we have an interesting group of products from our friends at SexToy.com.

Dr Dick Review Crew members — Gina & Kevin and Karen do the honors. So let’s get right to it.

Ultra Harness 2000 For Men —— $80.51

Gina & Kevin
Kevin: “We have the hot set up for you! This here is the Ultra Harness 2000 For Men. And I haven’t had so much fun in ages. I know you’ve all heard about strap-ons for women, right? Well this is a strap-on for men. I kid you not!”
Gina: “So you’re probably wondering, why would a guy need a strap-on when he already has his ‘tool’ dangling between his legs. Ever hear of erectile dysfunction? Or say a guy wants to please his partner with a little, or a lot more than what nature gave him. Or say there’s some hot double penetration play in the offing, but only one partner.”
Kevin: “There ya go; took the words right out of my mouth. Actually the Ultra Harness 2000 For Men is a kit. It comes with the three-way fully adjustable all leather harness, which expands up to 44 inches in the waist; a realistic looking 7”x1.75” dildo; and an adjustable or detachable butt plug. They thought of everything.”
Gina: “Although this thing is designed for a man, and they have a version for women, I was able to wear the Ultra Harness 2000 too. But I think it would be cool to get the harness designed for women and decide which I liked best.”
Kevin: “The Ultra Harness 2000 come with the patented Vac-U-Lock technology that uses a plastic plug to attach the dong to the harness. It’s brilliant, really! Plus you can buy an array of attachments and accessories.”
Gina: “Speaking of attachments; we will also be reviewing, the Kong Realistic attachment today too.”
Kevin: “I’m like totally game for new experiences and so even though I don’t have ED, and my cock is a generous size, and Gina is not into double penetration; I strapped on the Ultra Harness 2000 with the dildo that came in the package. You see the harness has a hole in it that you put your own cock and balls through and snap it closed. Then I adjusted the very hefty butt plug and sank it in my ass. This took more time than I expected, because it is considerably bigger than I am used to.”
Gina: “Once he had the whole thing arranged he called me in the room. There he stood with two raging hardons, one of which was dripping precum like crazy. It was a site to behold.”
Kevin: “You can blame the butt plug for all the precum. I was filled to the hilt, so to speak.”
Gina: “We slipped a condom on the dong and Kevin had a ball fucking me with both of his cocks. It was a riot! You should know that I won’t insert a dildo made of this soft material inside me. It’s fun to look at and play with, but I won’t insert it without a condom.”
Kevin: “A condom is a must for any dildo made of this kind of realistic feel material, because this stuff is very porous and it can’t be sterilized. And if it can’t be sterilized, it can’t be shared. Oh, and you can only use a water-based lube with this thing.”
Gina: “You should also prepare yourself for the odor that emanates from the box when first opened. It’s a sickly sweet smell that is pretty overpowering. This was another reason that I didn’t want that dong in my box. I insisted that Kevin air the thing out in the garage for a couple of days till the smell dissipated. The off gas tells me the materials used in this toy are probably toxic to some degree. I would also guess that they contain phthalates, PVC and possibly latex. So be warned!”
Full Review HERE

Vac-U-Lock Kong Realistic —— $39.03

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “Hello again. This review is basically a continuation of the Ultra Harness 2000 review we just posted. We decided to review these products together because, well they belong together.”
Kevin: “In the Ultra Harness 2000 review we mentioned that there are a number of different attachments and accessories that you can buy for your harness. Well, the Vac-U-Lock Kong Realistic is one such attachment.”
Gina: “This is one gigantic dong, folks! It’s actually scary in its realistic appearance. It even has faux pubic hair. I know, WTF? And this isn’t even the biggest model they make, but I digress.”
Kevin: “Gina’s right; when I pulled this thing out of the box, I went ‘DAMN!’ It’s made of a soft, lifelike material that makes the Kong Realistic look so realistic. But as we learned in the previous review; that comes at a price. The off gas that you smell when you first open the box tells us the materials used in this toy are toxic to some degree. We also suspect that they contain phthalates, PVC and possibly latex. This is not necessarily a problem, just so long as you don’t use the thing internally without a condom.”
Gina: “That’s right; use a condom when you play with this thing. Not just for health concerns, but for clean up too. The Kong Realistic is made of a very porous material and it can’t be sterilized. And if it can’t be sterilized, it can’t be shared. And you can only use a water-based lube with it.”
Kevin: “So ok, this time around Gina used the harness. The Ultra Harness 2000 we have is designed for a man but she says it fits her too. Attaching the Kong Realistic is easy with the patented Vac-U-Lock technology, which uses a plastic plug to attach the dong to the harness.”
Gina: “The Kong Realistic is so massive I could hardly believe my eyes when I looked at myself in the mirror. No wonder guys with huge dicks think they rule the world.”
Kevin: “I looked at the dong warily too. This would be the biggest thing I’ve had in my ass to date. Would I even be able to do it? I warmed up my ass with a decent sized plug. And when I thought I was ready, I gave Gina the green light. She slipped on a condom and looked at me with an evil gaze.”
Gina: “Ok, are you gonna tell them, or am I?”
Full Review HERE

Silicone Taffy Tickler Water G —— $25.19

Karen
I took the Silicone Taffy Tickler Water G from its packaging hoping against hope that the prickly surface of the toy would be soft and pliable. But my hopes were soon dashed. I wondered to myself; who designed this thing, the Marquis de Sade? And if the Taffy Tickler is really made of silicone as the package says, I’ll eat my hat. It doesn’t feel or smell like any of the other quality silicone toys I own.

The Taffy Tickler is designed as a G-spot vibe, as the curved tip suggests. My only question is who has a tough enough pussy to withstand the insertion of something akin to a scrub brush. I certainly don’t! Not that I didn’t try. Like the good little reviewer that I am, I did try. First I used it externally. Despite being very sensitive in my genital area, I did find that if I lightly dragged the Taffy Tickler over my pussy lips and above my clit, the sensations were pleasurable. Next, while sitting up, I just laid the Taffy Tickler with the vibration on high (it has one of those rheostat sort of controllers) between my legs and against my pussy. This was a very interesting sensation too. It sent shivers down my spine.

But insertion was impossible for me and I like girthy toys! Even with the loads of water-based lube that I used on it; it didn’t smooth the way. The lube just got lost in the crevices and I couldn’t even get the tip fully inserted. This has got to be the biggest disaster of my Dr Dick Review Crew career.
Full Review HERE

ENJOY!

Lookie Here

Another Product Review Friday is comin at ya!

Today we feature the most expensive toy we’ve reviewed on this site to date. It comes to us from the good people at Pipedream Products.

Dr Dick Review Crew member, Jada takes it for a spin.

BODY HEAT Self Warming Vibe —— $250.28

Jada
About 10 years ago, when I was still a sweet impressionable young thing, I briefly dated (2 times) this guy who drove this totally pimped out Hummer. I mean this thing was obscenely gauche. Besides being a outrageous monument to conspicuous consumption, it was also extremely loud and ridiculously uncomfortable. It was like riding in a tank. And I practically needed a stepladder to enter and exit the behemoth. I felt like I was getting in and out of a cartoon car.

But the guy couldn’t have been more proud of his ride. He insisted that it was the consummate babe magnet. (I don’t know either; I just chalked it up to being a guy thing.) Little did he know that when he pulled up to a club all the women would giggle and snicker. I guess none of his women “friends” thought to tell him about our inside joke — BCLD — Big Car; Little Dick!

I realize that this is a somewhat long-winded intro to a toy review, but my little reminiscence was the first thing to come to mind when I was handed the BODY HEAT Self Warming Vibe to review.

Let’s start with the presentation. One would never know from just looking at the package that the BODY HEAT was so damned expensive. It comes in a nondescript carton that covers an equally nondescript plastic clamshell. All the other high-end toys I know of come in swank gift boxes, but not the BODY HEAT. It’s packaging looks like it belongs to a toy a fraction of its cost.

Ok, so we ought not judge a book by it’s cover right? I take BODY HEAT home and take it out of the package to see what’s what. Here’s what i found — a 7” shaft sits atop a 3.5” hard plastic base. The heart of the shaft is made up of pleasure “beads” that rotate. There are three rotation programs and each can be adjusted to eight speeds. The shaft is sheathed in a 100% silicone sleeve that is lavender in color. The sleeve also has a series of very stimulating ridges and is topped off with a flattened arrowhead shaped tip; perfect for G-spot stimulation. The sheath of silicone also covers embedded heating coils and a digital stabilizer that is supposed to keep the vibrator temperature at 100 or 120 degrees F. Supposedly, the warmer temperatures make the shaft easier to insert. But that would only be true of the tip of the vibe warmed up, which it doesn’t. However, the lower 1/3 of the vibe shaft does stay warm throughout use.

The base of BODY HEAT houses the control panel and a LCD display that shows the temp, the rotation program and speed. A rechargeable lithium battery fits inside the base. But wait! Some assembly is required. Get this, you need a teeny tiny phillips-head screwdriver, the kind a jeweler would use, to install the battery. Do you have one of those lying around your house? I don’t! I thought to myself; swell, now what am I supposed to do? After calling everyone I knew to see if they had one, I finally got hold of my sweet lesbian sister-in-law. Sure enough, she had just the thing. Wouldn’t you just know it? Dykes are such lifesavers. The BODY HEAT also comes with a recharger.

If all this weren’t enough, the BODY HEAT also comes with a removable vibrating clit stimulator (with batteries) in the shape of a rabbit that is supposed to be able to double as a cock ring. This is a brilliant idea, but there’s a rub. If you use it as a cockring your partner’s unit has to be at least the same girth as the BODY HEAT vibe. My partner is…how shall I say this…not so blessed. He did try to stretch it around his penis and ball sack like he wears a regular cockring, but there wasn’t enough give in the silicone.  This made it way too tight to wear. So we never were able to try out that function. Back to the drawing board on that feature!

The tricked out BODY HEAT weighs in at a very hefty 15+oz. That’s a handful and then some.

Are you getting the picture why I began with story about that pimped out Hummer? I though you would. Sometimes too much is just that; too much.

Before I continue my review I just want to say that, if I had to guess, the BODY HEAT was designed and developed by a man, or more likely, a committee of men. They may have been well intentioned men, but I’d be willing to wager that there was no female input on this at all. Only a guy would dream up something like this. The reason I say this is that I have a bunch of women friends and we all have a ton of sex toys and not one of us has ever thought to ourselves; gee, I need to get me a vibe that does everything but make supper. Or gee, my vibe is cold; I need to get one with a heater. The reason I know this is because I asked all my friends this very question after I started toying around with the BODY HEAT. And while I admit that my sampling is not of the scientific variety, I’m still willing to wager that this is accurate.

To be fair, BODY HEAT does everything it says it will and it does it very well. Like I mentioned above I love the ribbed silicone shaft. But I think I have to quibble with calling the BODY HEAT a vibrator. It doesn’t really vibrate; there’s a rotating motion in the upper 1/3 of the shaft. And like I already mentioned, the heating element only warms the lower 1/3 of the shaft. The flattened arrowhead shaped head of the BODY HEAT neither vibrates or warms. I found that a bit curious, but there you have it.

The detachable rabbit vibe is indeed an actual vibe. And I really like that I can position it anywhere on the shaft. This works for me because the last thing I want to have happen is to have the bunny ears hit me in the clit when I’m thrusting to stimulate my G-spot. That is not pleasurable; it hurts.

The heating element was nice, I guess. But the silicone sheathe is so buttery soft that it would have conformed to my body temperature anyway, as all good silicone does.

I would gladly exchange the heating function in the BODY HEAT for it to be waterproof. For those of us gals who ejaculate when we stimulate our G-spot, a waterproof insertable or vibe is much preferred. Not only is this vibe is not waterproof; it doesn’t even have a cover for the recharge port. That just invites the early demise of this very expensive toy. If you get the port wet, or worse lube gets inside of it, you’ll be SOL (shit out of luck). Come on guys, you should know that good sex is messy sex, right? It’s like you designed this totally tricked out Hummer of a vibe but forgot the windshield.
Full Review HERE

ENJOY

Ring My Bell

It’s Product Review Friday and we’re back with yet another LELO product, or as they like to call them — Pleasure Objects.

Dr Dick Review Crew member, Angie is ready and willing to show us around.

MONA Red —— $139

Angie
I’ve been watching for and reading about how many of my fellow Review Crew members have been enjoying their LELO toys. I don’t mind telling you that I have been more than a little envious of my friends, their toys and all the fun they’ve had. But now I finally have my very own LELO to tell you about.

This beautiful Pleasure Object is called MONA. And she is all LELO. By that I mean she comes in her own LELO signature packaging. Actually there are layers and layers of packaging. Inside the bright red glossy outer package there is a black matte finish inner box with a lift-off lid. Inside that there is an embossed lift-out carton that contains the vibe itself. Under that there are two separate compartments; one containing a satin drawstring storage bag and the recharging unit and the other containing a warranty pamphlet, an elaborate multi-language user manual and a glossy mini catalog of some of their products. Is this too much packaging? I’m sure many will think so. But it is a beautiful presentation for those lucky enough to be receiving MONA as a gift.

Once inside the box I am surprised to discover that MONA is considerably smaller than the packaging suggests. It’s just less than 8″ long, with an insertable length of no more than 4″. The insertable end is flared; a bulbous oval that is actually a very modest size. The thickest part being only about 4.5″, which slims down the curved shaft to down to about 2.75”. This makes it great for G-spot stimulation.

The vibrations can be used for clitoral stimulation as well. The insertable part of MONA has a soft and luscious red silicone skin (it also comes in purple) that is hypoallergenic. She sports a sweetly quiet motor that delivers the multi-speed and multi-pulsations. And the best part is she’s rechargeable! I love that I’ll never have to feed her batteries to make me happy. And when she’s happy; she make me VERY happy!

You must only use a water based lube with this silicone beauty. And you must keep your hands free of lubricant in order to adjust the controller. This wasn’t always easy to do. In fact, if I had to nitpick, I’d have to say that the controller was more difficult to use than I would have ever imagined. I wonder if others have a similar experience?

Like I noticed that the pulsations didn’t always change when I pressed the up button. In fact, I was certain I had broken MONA at one point, because nothing happened when I pressed the buttons. Maybe I just needed to apply more pressure or be more patient or something. But the indicator light in the controller went on, so I assumed that was all that needed to make things happen. In my estimation, the controller is the weakest part of the LELO design.

MONA comes already charged, which is very thoughtful. And it is so easy to charge. Just plug in the adapter and let it juice itself up. But be mindful that MONA should not be charged for more than 24 hours, as she will overheat. Here’s something else I noticed, when I used the highest speed and the steady vibration, I noticed a “singing” sound that concerned me a bit. I thought perhaps I was overly stressing MONA. As I precaution, I decided to dial her down, so to speak. I didn’t want to knock her out.

Here’s something really important you should know; MONA is splash proof, not waterproof. There is little rubber cover that protects the charging port from moisture. But if you somehow get water in there, which is very easy to do; or worse lube, be sure to let the thing dry completely before you try to recharge.

Clean up is easy with mild soap and warm water. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.

MONA sleeps in her satin storage bag, where she waits for me to arouse her. And she is always glad to see me. MONA comes with a 1-year warranty that covers her working parts. Her 10 year guarantee states that if anything goes wrong with MONA at any time in the 10 years you own her, you can return her for disposal, and LELO will give you 50% off your next order from their web store. So there’s that.
Full Review HERE

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