Category: Dildo

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Make that move right now, baby!

Weeee’re back! We all had a terrific Spring Break and now The Dr Dick Review Crew is ready to dazzle you once again with a new load of sex toys.

We welcome yet another swell online retailer, the amazing SexToy.com.  The Review Crew has been invited to join them in reviewing the vast array of adult products they carry. So over the coming months we will be sharing with you tons of new products. Welcome aboard SexToy.com.

This week we bring you an interesting selection from the SexToy.com catalogue. Review Crew Members — Jack & Karen, Ken & Denise and Glenn & Hank do the honors

3” Aluminum Butt Plug —— $36.30

Jack & Karen
Karen: “Those who follow our reviews know that both Jack and I are relative new-cumers to anal. Sometimes it takes us a while to warm up to a full on ass-ult. We both really get into it once we’re loosened up a bit. Originally, I offered up my butt to please him. I didn’t think there’d be much in it for me, but I was willing to give it a try for him. Boy, was I ever mistaken. I swear, I’m getting the lion’s share of the pleasure when Jack fucks me back there.”
Jack: “I love her for trying anal, just for me. And because she did it just to please me, I figured it was high time for me to do the same.”
Karen: “I love the control and sense of power I have when I strap one on.”
Jack: “Like Karen said; we both still need a warm up when it’s our turn to bottom. And we discovered just the right thing for us both. It’s the 3” Aluminum Butt Plug from California Exotics.”
Karen: “Neither one of us has ever used a butt plug before, so this was virgin territory for us both. This beauty is polished, seamless aluminum, gently weighted at the head for heavenly internal stimulation. It has a very gentle teardrop shape that makes insertion deliciously easy. And there’s no chance that it will slip all the way in, because the base prevents that.”
Jack: “Because it’s nonporous it is easily cleaned and sterilized so that we can share the toy. Only problem now is we’re fighting over who gets to use it first.”
Karen: “The 3” Aluminum Butt Plug is very comfortable to wear too. I can easily wear it for an hour or two. I had been wondered how I could work on loosening myself up before the big event with Jack. So here’s what I’ve come up with. In anticipation of some hot backdoor action with Jack, I simply insert the plug in advance of our play together. Wearing this thing for even 30 minutes makes my ass hungry for more.”
Jack: “She’s like totally primed for my dick when play time begins. And you can warm or chill aluminum for an added sensation.”
Full Review HERE

Fetish Fantasy Ultra Position Master —— $54.45

Ken & Denise
Denise: “I’m all about being comfortable when having sex.”
Ken: “Yeah, unless the object is to be decidedly uncomfortable, right honey?”
Denise: “That’s right, dear. So we jumped at the opportunity to try out this Ultra Position Master. It’s basically an oversized inflatable cushion that has a kind of wedge shape to it. It’s supposed to make just about any sex position more comfortable.”
Ken: “It also has four EZ-Grip handles, two on each side, for the fucker and fuckee to hang on to. Very clever idea! It’s a vinyl blow-up kinda thing covered in this black-flocked material. This keeps it from skidding on the carpet or bed when the action gets hot and heavy. Which is another terrific selling point, to my mind.”
Denise: “The package says that the air seal valve makes inflating the wedge a snap. Well, that’s only partially true. Blowing up this thing, without some kind of pump, is a fuckin chore. It’s true that when you blow into the cushion the valve keeps it from deflating between breaths. But damn, blowing it up knocked the wind out of us both…literally. The manufacturer really needs to include some kind of pump with this thing.
Ken: “I totally agree. By the time we got it fully inflated, and fully inflated is the key; we didn’t much want to bother with the fuckfest. But we did press on, good Review Crew Members that we are.”
Denise: “The package also touts the fact that the Ultra Position Master can support up to 300 pounds. Again, I have to disagree. Ken and I started out mimicking the positions we saw on the package. You have to assume that the two models using the cushion in the promotional photos are together about 300 lbs if not more. But you don’t see the cushion straining to accommodate them. They are clearly not using the same product that we have. Or these photos have been altered. Either way, this is deceptive advertising and it really pisses me off.”
Ken: “Denise and I are not all that different in size for the models on the package, but the Ultra Position Master only supported one of us at a time. When we both but our full weight on it, it felt like it was gonna burst. There was even a creaking sound under us.”
Denise: “I certainly didn’t want it to burst, so we played it safe. The positions that allow for only one person on the cushion at a time are the only ones we tried. And frankly the Ultra Position Master worked fine for that. Like Ken mentioned earlier, the EZ-Grip handles are a very nice feature.”
Ken: “After our first go around with this thing we left it inflated so that our second event wouldn’t start out with us being breathless.”
Denise: “Two days later we went to collect our Ultra Position Master only to find that it had deflated quite a bit on its own in the interim. I was fit to be tied.”
Full Review HERE

Titanmen Vibrations #3 Master —— $21.87

Glenn & Hank
Glenn: “First off; Hank and I are Titan Media’s biggest fans.  You don’t know Titan Media? Get with it, fuckers! They’re about the best gay porn producers out there. Check it out. And a big shout out to our favorite Titan star, Tony Buff.”
Hank: “The reason Glenn said what he did about Titan Media is because today we have one of their signature toys to review. It’s called the Titanmen Vibrations #3 Master. We’ve seen these online for months now and have been itchin’ to get our paws on some of these.”
Glenn: “The Vibrations #3 Master is so hot lookin. It big; it’s bold; it’s ribbed and it’s my favorite color — black.”
Hank: “If I know Glenn, and I think I do, his rosebud was twitchin’ in anticipation of this billy club of a vibe landin’ where the sun don’t shine.”
Glenn: “Oh man; I could hardly wait to get it out of the package.”
Hank: “It’s waterproof, bendable and truly man-sized. It’s powered by 2 AA batteries, which are not included in the package.”
Glenn: “So I rip through the package to get hold of this monster and low and behold the thing smells totally funky. It has this strong odor of off gas that tells me this thing is not made of quality materials. Don’t know what off gas is; look it up! You’ll be just as freaked out as me.
This really sucks, in my humble opinion. The package says that it’s made of Silagel. Never heard of it. But it is supposed to be anti-bacterial, non-toxic and latex free. If it’s non-toxic; what’s causing the smell?”
Hank: “We’ve been doing these reviews long enough to know that when a toy smells funny, like this one does, we know not to use it on, or in our bodies. Our noses are our first line of defense against harmful materials. Your nose should be too.”
Glenn: “So I scrubbed the blasted thing down with soap and hot water before using it. There was still a faint smell after its bath, so I decided to slip a condom over it before I had Hank shoved it in my ass.”
Hank: “The condom, while a wise precaution, really took away from the kick-ass look of the toy. And that’s really too bad. I wonder why Titan didn’t insist on silicone for their signature line. Everything else they do is first class, why not their toys? Most of us don’t mind paying a bit more for a quality toy. Know what I mean?”
Glenn: “So anyhow, with new batteries in place I tested out the vibration. It’s pretty wimpy in terms of vibration, even at the highest speed.”
Hank: “And the rheostat kinda speed adjustment thingy on the toy’s base is pathetically second rate.”
Full Review HERE

ENJOY!

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Clear The Deck

Hey sex fans!

It’s Friday! And that means it’s Product Review Day. We have an interesting line up for you today. We’re clearing the decks, so to speak, to make room for the load of new adult products arriving on a weekly basis. Wait till you see what we have in store for you in upcoming reviews. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, because some of today’s items are pretty amazing.

First off we have another Good Vibes Brand Ambassador review. Review Crew Member, Carlos, has a silicone butt plug to show us.

Jada is up next and she’ll introduce us to another Blush Novelties rabbit vibe.

Finally, Glenn & Hank have a couple styles of “love gloves” from Sweden, called RFSU Condoms to tell us about.

Sidekick Silicone Anal Plug —— $22.00

Carlos
Those of you who follow my reviews know that I have a prostate problem. And I’m not ashamed to admit it either. I’m also very into ass play. I have very little outlet for that with other guys, because I’m married. (Just so we’re clear, my wife knows about this; so it’s not a Tiger Woods kinda thing.) But even if I were able to connect with other bi or even gay guys more often I don’t think I’d be up for it because of my enlarged prostate. I just can’t bottom like I used to. I know, bummer, huh?

With the onset of my prostate problem a couple of years ago, I became more interested in playing with my own ass. This allows me complete control over the kind of stimulation I can tolerate at any given time. I’ve become particularly fond of butt plugs. But finding just the right one can be a challenge. I can’t have anything too hard. Can’t be too big either. It’s got to be just right. Sounds like Goldilocks, huh?

With that long-winded introduction finished, I can now introduce you to the Sidekick Silicone Anal Plug. This is the perfect butt plug for me. It is smooth and supple, which make it easy to insert and wear for hours at a time. And that’s saying something for a guy with an enlarged prostate, like me. I’m no doctor, but I believe that my condition is actually helped by wearing a butt plug for a period of time a couple times a week. It delivers a very nice prostate massage that seems to soothe things down there.
Full Review HERE

Now here’s Jada.

Wave Rabbit-Waterproof Rabbit —— $42.05

Jada
Here’s a new multi function vibe from Blush Novelties. It’s the sister to Eve’s Rabbit, which my colleague, Christa reviewed back in February.

Like the Eve vibe, the Wave Rabbit is enormous! In fact, it’s so similar; it’s startling. There is a slightly different control panel and Wave Rabbit creates a wavy motion as opposed to Eve’s Rabbit, which has beads that rotate.

It is 11 inches long and clunky as all get-out. It weighs about 1.5lbs, when loaded with the four AA batteries you need to power it. Note: the batteries are not included in the package. Wave Rabbit is more vibe then I’ve ever handled before and certainly more vibe then I need.

There are 8 wave-making functions (in the shaft) and 8 vibrating speeds (in the bunny) and they work independent of one another, which totally great. I’m partial to a rabbit vibe, because clitoral stimulation is very important to me when I’m pleasuring myself. But I found Wave Rabbit completely unwieldy. It’s such a handful that it can be exhausting. I did like that it has a simple on/off switch that avoids having to cycle through the all the speed options just to turn it off.

They claim that the handle and control panel is ergonomic; I beg to differ. While it is true that the control panel is intuitive, there’s nothing ergonomic about it. Like the Eve’s Rabbit, the Wave Rabbit also has a shaft make of a translucent jelly type of material. The package claims it’s phthalate free. But that seems too good to be true; although I have no evidence to the contrary. So let’s just trust them on that.
Full Review HERE

Next up we have Glenn & Hank with a couple styles of “love gloves”.

Profil 3-Pack —— $6.00
Mamba 3- Pack —— $6.00

Glenn & Hank
Glenn: “We consume a shit-load of condoms every year.”
Hank: “You might even say we have a little condom fetish.”
Glenn: “We always bring our own condoms to all the play parties we attend. And there are always buckets full of our favorite rubbers available at our house when we are the hosts of a party.”
Hank: “We simply can’t get behind barebacking. I know a lot of guys are doing it these days, but Glenn and I stand firm.”
Glenn: “We play with a lot of people and there’s simply no way of knowing where they’ve all been or what they’ve all been doing. So the path of the least resistance is a love glove; plain and simple!”
Hank: “When you find a good condom; one that fits and that’s comfortable; well, it’s like wearing nothing at all.Profil is one such condom. It fits me perfectly, it’s super sheer and it has a nice reservoir tip; all the things I look for in a rubber.”
Glenn: “I second that! I like the Mamba style. It’s a lot like Profil, but it’s yellow.”
Hank: “Glenn likes yellow because he’s a piss queen.”
Glenn: “That’s not the only reason I like yellow. But yeah, he’s right about me bein a big piss queen.”
Hank: “These condoms are made in Sweden; they’re silky and pre-lubed. The contour is great too. It’s snug right under my dickhead.”
Glenn: “The O!Zone people are the exclusive American importer of these superior RFSU condoms.”
Hank: “Oh, and about the vegan thing. While I never thought much about this before; it does make sense. So here’s the deal, the Vegan Action Foundation certifies that no animal products of any kind were used in the manufacturing of these condoms nor were any animals used in product testing.”
Full Review HERE

ENJOY!

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You’re The Top

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday once again. And today we are lucky enough to have another LELO treasure for you to admire.

Dr Dick Review Crew member, Brad discovers the meaning of a Pleasure Object.

BILLY —— $129.00

Brad
DAMN, this is the most expensive sex toy…I mean Pleasure Object I’ve ever seen. Before I got hooked up with the Dr Dick Review Crew I used to make all my own sex toys. You’d be amazed what you can do with some bubble wrap, Jell-O, a battery-powered toothbrush or a bar of soap. Now that I’m an official review crew member I’m getting the education of my life. You’ll probably laugh, but before I got this BILLY I had never hear of LELO.

I knew I was in for a treat just by looking at the packaging. Everything about it says elegant. The message on the package, translated into multiple languages, reads:BILLY is a gentleman’s G-spot massager for those who wish to explore a more energetic sensation within. Benefiting from an ergonomic design tailored precisely to the male form, he offers sustained control through five differing stimulation modes. Such versatility achieves breathtaking results, where vibrations may be kept mild during arousal, before increasing to the levels that excite his user most. Whether enjoyed individually or with a partner, BILLY is a highly discreet and satisfying companion, always primed to deliver the most intense and varied feelings of release.

That a fancy way of sayin’ — ya pop this sucker in your ass for a groovy prostate massage. Hey, can I ask you people to stop referring to a dude’s prostate as “a gentleman’s G-spot”? I think a P-spot is pretty fuckin lame, but “a gentleman’s G-spot” is absolutely ridiculous.

Now that I have that off my back I can get back to telling you about BILLY. It’s a relatively petite thing as far as insertables go. 6.5” total length; 4” insertable length; 3.25″ circumference and weighs in at just about a pound. This is clearly intended for the novice butt pirate.

It has a ridge on the velvety-smooth silicone insertable part that is designed to make BILLY safe for ass play. The whole toy will never accidentally slip all the way in your bum, which is a fear that many guys new to ass play have. I know I did.

The controls for BILLY are located in the handle, which is made of hard plastic. It has 7 power settings and 5 vibe patterns. Steady vibration, three speeds of intermittent vibration and a wave setting where the vibration oscillates between gentle and stronger vibrations. And the best thing is it’s rechargeable. There’s this little port in the tip of the handle that accepts the recharging unit. Pretty slick, huh? My battery budget was gettin outta control. It takes about 2 hours to fully charge. And it’ll last about 4 hours on a full charge. It even lets you know when it is time to recharge. The control dial will glow red, instead of white when pushed.

You’ll have to use lube with this toy. Trying to insert it anally without lube is just asking for trouble. But be sure you use only a water-based lube.

Figuring out the four-quadrant controller can be a challenge. For the life of me I couldn’t figure it out when first I tried. I thought it was a good idea to run through the different speeds and intensities before I popped it in my ass. But suddenly it just died. The white LED light was still on, but I couldn’t get it to vibrate. I thought for sure I fucked up this expensive toy. I put it away for a while so I could review the instructions. On my second attempt, a couple hours later, it miraculously came back to life, but only slowly. I have no idea what the fuck was up with that. Freaked me out though.

Once I had BILLY in my hole, I really liked the feel of it. But I had the damnedest time working the controller while it was in place. The hard plastic handle and control button are impossible to hold on to or manipulate with lubed up fingers and hands. And don’t even think about getting lube in the recharge port, because the thing will be toast for damn sure.
Full Review HERE

ENJOY!

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Well then…

Name: Stanford
Gender: male
Age: 25
Location: Green Bay
I was wondering if you have any suggestions for a homemade dildo?

Do you actually want to craft a dildo yourself? Or is this more a question about what might be readily available to safely bugger yourself with?

If you want to make one yourself, there are several “Make-your-own-dildo” kits out there. You can find them online. They supply you with everything you need to make a latex dildo cast of your own dong. And from that the dildo is made. How fun! But wait, what if you are princess tiny-meat? Cloning your you own willie will satisfy no one, no how. Unless you know someone with a more ample endowment that will lend you his hog for the mold, this is probably not the way for you to go.

A trip to the supermarket might be your next best bet. People have been stuffing fruits and vegetables in every possible orifice for as long as there have been fruits and vegetables…and orifices to stuff. Bananas, zucchini, corn cobs, cucumbers, and well the list goes on and on. One word of caution, make sure that whatever you’re poppin’ in your pooper is long enough that you can keep hold of it while you are workin’ your magic. You definitely don’t want it to let whatever slip past your sphincter and lodge itself inside your rectum. There’s nothing more embarrassing than a trip to the emergency room to have someone fish whatever you got in there out of you bum.

If you’re the least bit competent as a woodworker you could fashion something pleasurable from a hardwood, like maple or oak. The do-it-yourself craftsman will be able to make the exact size he needs and wants. He’ll take pride in sanding, buffing and curing his creation with olive oil before use.

No woodturning tools? Not to worry. A trip to the local Homo Depot may be the answer. Look for wooden dowels. They come in many widths and lengths. Since doweling is often made of a softer wood, the dildo craftsman will be able to round off the top of the dowel using a rasp with relative ease. But because the wood is soft, he’ll have to seal his creation in a smooth varathane or polyurethane finish. Never, ever insert uncured or unfinished wood. Besides the danger of splinters, untreated wood is very porous and you’ll never get the damned thing clean after the first use.

Another word of caution; some people are allergic to various materials or polishes. So test all materials first.

Here’s a dildo-making project just about anyone can do. Make your own beanie baby dildo. You will need several latex condoms, water based lube and whole dried beans or peas. Take a condom fill it with the dried beans and/or peas and tie off the end. Coat the condom with lube and slip it into another condom and tie that one off too. If you want to be super-safe, add a third condom. The beauty part of using dried peas or beans is that, should the condoms break while you’re pleasuring yourself and you lose some of the contents in your love cave, you’ll be able to eliminate them with ease with your next bowel movement. And there’s nothing toxic in dried beans!

But what if you want something more stiff? Building a dildo out of modeling clay might be the answer. You can find this material at your local crafts store. You can be very creative with the shape and size. You’ll also be able to flare the end of the thing so there won’t be a worry of it getting past your sphincter. Before the clay dries, consider pressing dried beans into the shaft for some added texture. Once your new phallus is completely dry you can finish it with a polyurethane seal. However, I encourage you to use a condom over your newly created cock substitute. Even with a sealed dildo like this one.

Name: Heidi & Werner
Gender: couple
Age: 32 & 34
Location: Arizona
My husband and I have been married for 12 years, we love each other very much. About five years into our marriage, while on a retreat for couples, we discovered we are both bisexual. As a consequence we gave each other permission to explore our same-sex interests. For the most part this has worked out really well. At this point in our marriage, however, we’d like to move beyond the casual semi-furtive affairs we’ve been having and embrace polyamory. Problem is we don’t know any other people who are living in successful polyamorous relationships. Is polyamory a viable option even for a few lucky souls?

Congratulations on living a successful marriage, especially since you guys are taking such a non-traditional approach. That can’t be easy. I wish there was a way the two you could bottle whatever it is that you apparently have in spades that allows you to make such an honest assessment of yourselves and your marriage. You must be remarkable people. I’m so glad that you took the time to write.

As a matter of fact, I know a bunch of very successful, long-lasting polyamorous relationships. Most are comprised of people already on the sexual fringe — queer folk, currant and former swingers and kinksters. However, they all tend to keep the dimensions of their relationships relatively private. It takes a lot of psychic energy to live polyamorously, exponentially more than in a traditional marriage. This tends to leave less psychic energy for flying in the face of the popular culture. Of course the down side of this is there are, as you suggest, few good public role models for polyamory.

Connecting with other like-minded people is less of a challenge these days than in years past thanks to the marvels of the internets, don’t cha know. And being bisexuals, as you are, my make things even easier. I suppose you know this already, but for those in my audience who don’t, polyamory is not the same thing as swinging. Swinging is more about recreational or sport sex; partners having consensual casual sex with others, either other couples or individuals. Swinging is also generally a heterosexual phenomenon. Female bisexual behavior is allowed and even encouraged. The same cannot be said about male bisexual behavior. This seems like an unfortunate double standard to me, but in this respect swinging reflects traditional sexual mores.

Polyamory, on the other hand, connotes more of an emotional bond, a relationship that exceeds pure sport fucking. But not surprisingly many polyamorous relationships evolve from more casual swinger connections. So let’s not knock that.

If you both are seriously into polyamory you’ll have an easier time of it too. The downfall of many budding polyamorists has to do with the reservations one or another in the couple may have about the lifestyle. The one with reservations may play along for a while thinking that this new venture will grow on him/her, but it doesn’t. Some folks are monogamous and it’s breed in the bone. Others are non-monogamous, equally breed in the bone. Trying to convert one or the other to an alternative way of thinking is simply not gonna happen.

The big bugaboo in any type of relationship will be jealousy. You guys seem to have avoided that poison, and again congratulations. The couples retreat you mentioned my have provided you the communication tools you needed to open yourselves to one another in an honest and forthright way. These communication skills will be particularly useful in forming polyamorous relationships too. Whatever the configuration of your future relationships, all parties must allow for and invite an honest and open exchange about passions, desires and needs. And from time to time each individual in the polyamorous relationship will prioritize these things differently. Expect lots of diversity. For more about this see my friend, polyamorous proDOM, Mistress Matisse’s column HERE!

There’s no “one way” to be polyamorous. Some people express their polyamory by having one primary partnership with one or more satellite relationships. They prefer monogamy with one partner but have an open relationship with others. Some polyamorists live in triads or loosely structured groups. Some people express their polyamory by having all partners and lovers as part of an extended family— raising kids together and taking care of elders together. Strong polyamorous relationships carried a number of my closest friends through the worst of the AIDS crisis in the mid 80’s. While you guys seem pretty clear on what you want for yourselves, you may want to be on the lookout for potential partners with incompatible passions needs and desires.

As we all know, a big part of effective communication in a relationship is exploring and expressing feelings. Another part, one that is often overlooked, is the art of negotiation. How do partners and lovers negotiate for what they need and want? “I want to try something new with someone new.” “My lover and I need some private time.” Mature people are flexible, but they also have healthy boundaries. Giving your partner the freedom to share him/herself intimately with others as he/she desires is easier when it is based on the guidelines that you and your partner agree to first. Of course these will need to be readjusted from time to time as new situations evolve.

A secret to successful polyamory is working to maintain a strong primary partnership, in your case, with each other. The more comfortable and secure you guys are with one another, the easier it will be for you to free one another up for others. When the primary relationship is healthy and safe, the polyamorous relationship will add to the support structure, not diminishes it.

Interestingly enough, not all polyamorous relationships are sexual in nature. For example, one person in the group relationship may have a sexual connection with another, while that person enjoys a platonic relationship with that someone else.

One thing for certain, you guys will have to decide what sort of people will be positive additions to your lives. And that will entail a good deal of trial and error. Like my daddy always used to say, “ya gotta walk through a lot of manure before you find the pony.” Remember not everyone who aspires to polyamory is capable of it, nor is everyone one who is capable of being polyamorous suited to be with everyone else who is.

For more about this timely topic I refer you to the two podcasts I did with the insanely marvelous Cunning Minx of PolyWeekly. Look for them HERE and HERE!

Good luck ya’ll

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Do You Hear What I Hear?

Hey sex fans!

We’re back with our very last word in sex toy reviews for 2009.  This is WEEK 6 of our Holiday Gift Giving Guide; and we close out the year with a Toys for Gals feature.

This week we will hear from Review Crew members: Joy, Gina and your truly, Dr Dick.

First up is one of two Doc Johnson toys we have today.

Love Connection —— $24.33

Joy
My partner, Dixie, and I each got a Doc Johnson toy to review.  Dixie posted her Wish-Bone Vibe review two weeks ago.  I got the equally cute, Love Connection to Love Connectionreview.

This sweet little multi-speed vibe is actually two vibes in one.  There are two different silicone attachments that you screw on to the hard plastic base.  I’ve used other vibes that offered attachments, but I was disappointed to discover that I couldn’t count on the attachment staying in place during use.  The Love Connection is different.  The two attachments actually screw on to the handle, so there’s no chance the thing will come off when you’re using it.

But the best thing about this little wonder is that it’s waterproof.  There’s nothing that satisfies like a vibe in the bath.  There is a one touch fingertip control button on the base of the handle that allows you to cycle through the three speeds.  This is not a powerhouse vibe, but you wouldn’t expect it to be, being such a cute little thing.  But it gets the job done.

This would make the ideal vibe for travel.  It’s discreet, and it’s quiet.  The Love Connection runs on 2 AAA batteries.  Unfortunately, they are not included in the package.
FULL REVIEW HERE

Next we see about the other Doc Johnson toy

Lucid Dream No. 14 —— $21.99

Gina
My last review of the year is, sadly, a bust. Can’t win them all, I guess.Sex_Toys_DJ092602

Here is a classic example of how a toy looks so amazing in the package, only to have it let you down outside of the package. Lucid Dream No. 14 has an amazing shape. It has a bulbous angled head on a gooseneck body. It’s a jelly material in a luscious tangerine color. And it’s transparent; so you can see the sizable vibe in the head. I was confident this was going to be a brilliant G-spot vibe for sure.

Taking it out of the minimal, but stylish package produced the first concern I had. It emanated a very unpleasant chemical smell. This off-gas was really off-putting. And the smell got on my hands just from taking it out of the package. ICK!

I quickly washed the Lucid Dream and my hands with soap and water. I had immediate misgivings about using this vibe on my body, but I though I’d better press on with my review. I figured I could always slip a condom on it if I was going to have it come in contact with skin.

The next problem I encountered was battery placement. Lucid Dream calls for 2 AA-batteries, which are not included in the package. That was a bummer, but I got over it. Figuring out how the batteries fit into the battery compartment was a puzzle. Nothing I saw on the vibe itself showed the battery placement technique. There were no instructions in the package either. I swear I tried the batteries every which way and thought; maybe this was a defective toy. Then as I was opening the battery compartment to switch out the batteries one last time; the thing sprang to life.

Apparently, you have to close the battery compartment just so; any deviation from that, even tightening the cap a tiny little bit rendered the toy useless. The batteries weren’t making contact with the terminals correctly.

A dial in the vibe’s base activates the multi-speed vibrator in the head of Lucid Dream. This is one of those rheostat things. Not a bad concept when executed correctly. Again, unfortunately, this is not one of those times. The dial is way to lose for it to be effective. In order for this to work, there should be some resistance in the dial as one moves it up or down. This dial had no such resistance.

I have to admit, the vibe was quiet, but it also wasn’t very powerful, even on the highest speed. After all the trouble I had this Lucid Dream I didn’t even bother to try and pleasure myself with it. You know, life is just too short for a bad vibe.
FULL REVIEW HERE

Finally, we reprise my review of an amazing product.

The Cone —— $129.00

Dr Dick
Guess what, sex fans? I am the proud owner of my very own The Cone.  And oh jeez, my life is never gonna be the same.

I am now the envy of all my friends — both the male and female variety — since the hot pink pyramid shaped package arrived on my doorstep. (Actually the hot pink pyramid shaped package arrived encased in a nondescript brown cardboard box, but you get the idea, right?)

I purposely left the shocking pink cone shaped object sitting nonchalantly on my desk The Conefor the past 10 days. Without fail it caught the eye of everyone who passed through Dr Dick’s office/salon/café/crash pad. “What the hell is that?” You’re kidding!” Really? “Get outta here!” “Oh My God, can I try it?” And so it went day after day.

I fond myself repeating the mantra — “It’s an innovative sex toy! – It’s pop art! – It’s my new BFF! — It’s three things in one!”

My hat is off to the developers of this unique unisex toy. You can tell right away that the folks who created this little wonder have a profound appreciation for sexual pleasure, as well as a joyful sense of playful fun. This kind of synergy can and apparently does turn the sex toy industry on its head. Bravo!

Ok, so what exactly is The Cone? Primarily, it is a hands-free battery-operated vibrator, don’t cha know. And that, sex fans, allows you to be pretty gal-darn creative in how you use the bugger. In fact, its unique design practically begs you to come up with clever new use or two every time you use it. I know of what I speak! I came up with one really good one. But I’m getting a little ahead of myself.

It has a sixteen-function 3000-rpm gold brush motor. It is both powerful and quiet. (Believe me, once you have at this thing, you will be making all the noise, not it.) It has a soft high-quality pink silicone skin. Its about seven inches in diameter at the base, five inches high, and weighs just over a pound. It has two push button controls. Simply put, there is nothing discreet about it, folks! Everything about it screams: “I’m here. I’m pink. Get used to it!

The Cone requires 3 “C” batteries. Unfortunately, the first set of batteries is not included in the package. I tell you this because I don’t want you to get all bummed out when you whip it out, for the first time, hoping to hop on for a ride only to discover you don’t have the proper batteries on hand.

Even though this isn’t an insertable device (That is, unless your hole looks like the Arc de Triomphe in Paris.), you’ll want to use a good personal lube to keep The Cone‘s silicone skin from chafing your naughty parts. Just make sure you use a non-silicone lube though, or you’ll ruin the blasted thing.

Like I said, The Cone has sixteen different vibrating programs — from mild to “Whoa Nelly! I suggest you take your time and cycle through the different vibe patterns to find the ones you like best. Here’s a tip: the on/off switch doubles as an ‘Instant Orgasm’ button, which revs the thing up to fever pitch in an instant. This is apparently for all those folks out there who are just too damned busy to cum like a normal person.

For the uninitiated, the pointy cone shape may be intimidating. But relax there’s no need to worry; The Cone’s peak is soft and spongy. It’s sorta the consistency of a very stiff dick. You can sit on this baby, lean on it, lie on it or plop it in your lap. You can use it alone, or with a partner. Just don’t be surprised if your partner tries to monopolize The Cone. If you have girl parts, The Cone is ideal for your pussy, clit and taint (perineum). If you have boy parts, The Cone is perfect for your cock, balls and taint. And everyone’s asshole will sing for joy when The Cone comes knockin’ at the back door.

The Cone‘s silicone skin is nonporous, which means bacteria cannot penetrate it. That makes it a breeze to clean. Just wipe it down with a mild soap and warm water after each use. To sterilize — remove the silicone skin from the unit and swish it in boiling water for a couple of minutes. Of course when you replace the skin, ya gotta realign it on the unit properly or you will not be able to find the operating buttons. But whatever you do, don’t immerse The Cone itself in water.

Ok, so The Cone is decidedly pricey. I’ll grant you that. But you know this thing is gonna last. And I’m a firm believer in buyin’ quality right from the get-go. In fact, if we consumers only patronized conscientious manufacturers of quality products, like The Cone; there’d be a lot less crap in the marketplace.
FULL REVIEW HERE

ENJOY

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Oh what fun it is to ride…

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday and this is Week 4 of this year’s Holiday Gift Giving Guide.

This week we will hear from Review Crew members: Glenn & Hank, Dixie and Brad.

First up we have yet another exquisite erotic art insertable from the artisans at XHale Glass.  This is the third product we’ve reviewed from this outstanding company.  See the other HERE!

Mister Twister ——  $129.95

Glenn & Hank
Glenn:  “WE’RE BACK!  Did you miss us?  We missed you.  Well actually, we missed the sex toys.  Being a Review Crew member has its perks.”
Hank:  “He’s in such a good mood because we got to review another toy that he can shove up his ass.  Glenn has the hungriest hole around.”
Glenn:  “I like to think of it as talented, not hungry.”
Hank:  “A rosebud by any other name…”
Glenn:  “Speaking of talented; a literary allusion and an asshole allusion all in one sentence.  You’re on a roll, my man!”
Hank:  “Ok, let’s get on with it.  What we have here is an art glass butt plug. Mister xh600Twister is just one of the beautiful creations to be had when you visit XHale online.  Glenn and I are new to glass, but after this little encounter; there will surely be more glass toys to come.”
Glenn:  “This petite beauty is only 3 3/8” tall.  It has a very modest girth of not much more than an inch.  This is your starter butt plug model.  I’m like totally used to way bigger toys in my ass, but there is something about this stunning little number that makes it one of my favorites.  I feel all dressed up with this puppy pluggin my hole.  Maybe that’s because it’s art, baby.  All XHale art is individually handmade, which makes my insertable even more precious to me.  No one else in the world has exactly the same one as I.”
Hank:  “It sure is!  It also has this amazing blue and white swirl in the solid glass.  That’s why when Mister Twister joined our dildo and plug collection it was like a snowy dove trooping with crows.”
Glenn:  “There you go again!  Apparently you’ve got Romeo and Juliet on the brain.  But you’re right; Mister Twister is a jewel, that’s for sure.”
Hank:  “Because this is the highest quality glass, it will last a lifetime; ya just gotta treat it with care.”
Glenn:  “XHale helps you do that by providing a very sturdy black padded drawstring pouch to keep your insertable art safe from getting nicked or chipped.  But we think Mister Twister is so beautiful; when it’s not adorning my hole it is proudly placed on our mantle.”
Hank:  “And if you think that is gross, you don’t know squat about glass insertables.  You can clean this baby with simple soap and water; wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution; or sterilize in boiling water or the dishwasher.”
Glenn:  “You can use any sort of lube you want to with a glass object like this.  And a little goes a very long way.  For someone unfamiliar with a butt plug, this will take some getting use to.  It’s hard as a rock.  But once you get the hang of it, it will be your material of choice from there on out.  I can wear Mister Twister for hours on end.  There’s no chafing; nothing like that.”
Hank:  “And you can warm or chill glass for an added sensation.”
FULL REVIEW HERE

Next another vibe from our friends at Vibratex.

Neo Cockring by Vibratex —— $24.99

Brad
So I was like totally hot for the Neo Cockring when I saw it in its stylish plexiglas storage case. At 33 I’m just discovering the joys of wearing a cockring. I was telling some of my gay clients at the gym about getting my first cockring about a month ago. They looked at me like I had just landed from outer space. OK, so I’m a late bloomer; sue me!

The Neo Cockring is a clear jelly sorta deal. Although it’s not a jelly, it’s made of a 131111phthalate-free elastomer. This may not make a difference to you, but it sure does to me. I don’t do anything that may contain phthalates. I mean, why would I endanger my health if I don’t have to?

The thing that rocks, or is supposed to, is this cockring has a built-in vibe, and it has this tickler side to it. And even though the vibe is a tiny thing; it has two activation choices. The first is a side button that remains “on” until depressed, and the second is a pressure sensitive pad behind the ticklers. So my GF is like waiting for me to warp this thing around my johnson and show her what it’ll do to her clit. I position the ring around my dick and balls with the vibe on the top of my cock with the tickle head pointing outward. Are you following this?

I activate the vibe and…well I feel it, but it ain’t rockin my world; as I had hoped. But ok, maybe the vibe is not for me but my GF. Ahhh, not so fast! She says she can feel it too, and she likes the way it turns itself on as it comes in contact with her clit, but there ain’t enough bang for her buck either.
FULL REVIEW HERE

Finely, something very unique from Doc Johnson.

Wish-Bone Vibrator —— $25.50

Dixie
I’m doing a solo review today. My partner, Joy, is working on another review for later in this series.

I have something no nonsense to show you this time around. It’s about as simple and straightforward as you can get. It’s the Wish-Bone Vibrator.31BFrJZTjtL._AA280_

I’ve used a lot of vibes in my day. I think I own nearly two-dozen of them. Some I’ve used a couple of times and that’s it; I never touch them again. Others are favorites that I put to very good use frequently. However, none of them look like the Wish-Bone. So this little wonder gets high marks for it’s clever design.

Here’s how it works; you put your index finger (I prefer to use my middle finger) through the notch at the top of the vibe. You finger tip lands on the single button that switches on the vibe and rotates it through its three speeds before coming to off. That’s it; no bells, no whistles, just solid thoughtful design and construction.

It’s a perfect design. I love to finger myself when I jill-off. This extends my finger for effortless fingering. It’s made of a hard plastic (phthalate-free) that excellently conducts the vibration. It’s fabulous on my clit. And if that isn’t enough, the thing is waterproof. It’s so ideal; I now have the Wish-Bone permanently placed on the ledge of my tub.
FULL REVIEW HERE

ENJOY

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Moveable Feast

Hey sex fans,

Here we are at Week 2 of this year’s Holiday Gift Giving Guide.  And we have two outstanding items for you.  One will, no doubt, be familiar to you.  The other is an outstanding example of erotic art.

The Dr Dick Review Crew Members: Kevin & Gina and Jack & Karen are here with the lowdown.

First, an old favorite from Vibratex.

Hitachi Magic Wand —— $47.50

Jack & Karen
Karen:  “You’re not gonna believe this, but on our way home from Dr Dick’s, after picking up the Hitachi Magic Wand as our review assignment.  Jack and I started to talk about the first time we’d ever seen a Hitachi.  Neither one of us knew of the others history with the Wand till that moment.  As it turned out, both of us had a similar introduction to this incredible vibe.”
Jack:  So we were driving home and I said I had used a Hitachi Magic WandZA919 before.  I told Karen that my mother had one when I was just a kid.  I used to see my dad use it on his back from time to time.  I never thought much of it till one day when I was home alone and had a little too much time on my hands.  I couldn’t have been more than 12 years old at the time.  I got the Hitachi from the cupboard, plugged it in and started running it all over my back, like I saw my dad do.  I innocently slipped it between my legs.  Holy shit, my little boy cock stood at attention till an almost painfully pleasurable thing happened only moments later.  I came for the first time then and there.  My skivvies were wet with something other than pee.  I though I had hurt myself.  I quickly put the Hitachi away and cleaned myself up; too afraid to tell anyone about the incident.”
Karen:  “I have a similar story.  My mother had a Hitachi too.  She kept it in her bedside cabinet.  I too was home alone one day; couldn’t have been more than 13; when I decided I’d see what this thing was all about.  I remember watching TV and running the vibe all over my body.  I put it to my cheek and it made my teeth rattle.  I thought that was really funny.  Absentmindedly, I ran it down over my chest.  I had already developed boobs by that time.  There was like electricity in my body that ran from my nipples to my crotch.  I moved the Wand southward and BANG.  I must have hit my clit through the jeans I was wearing.  My knees buckled and the rest is history.  I don’t think my mother ever knew how much I used her Hitachi.  But let’s just say I nearly wore out the thing.”
Jack:  “What more can we add to these stories.  What does one say about an institution; a legend.”
Karen:  “I wonder for the volumes that have been written about this, the granddaddy of all vibes, is it possible someone in our audience isn’t familiar with the Hitachi?”
Jack:  “If there is actually someone out there who has been living under a rock for that past 20+ years, here’s the lowdown.  The Hitachi is a very powerful 2-speed massager.  It has a 2″ long by 2″ diameter padded, vinyl coated head, attached to a 9″ long heavy-duty plastic handle.  And it is operated by electricity; so you have to plug it in.  This is what makes it so damn powerful.”
Karen:  “Absolutely, no other vibe, battery operated or rechargeable can even come close to the power of a Hitachi.”
Jack:  “There’s nothing sleek or stylish about this thing.  It’s pure function.  I like to cradle it under my balls when I jerk off.  I can feel the intense vibration all over my pelvis.  It’s fantastic.”
Karen:  “It’s loud too, but I don’t give a fuck.  For as quickly as it gets me off, it could sound like Mack truck for all I care.”
Jack:  “I can always tell when Karen is at her Hitachi.  She always makes more noise then usual; and that’s saying something.  Because this girl is a screamer.”
Karen:  “I like to think of it as being expressive, not loud.”
Jack:  “Whatever you call it it can wake the dead!”
Karen:  “You do pretty good yourself, mister.  When we want to terrorize the neighbors we both get out our Magic Wands, plug them in and go at it side by side.  And I always get off first.”
Jack:  “Never take a plug in toy like this near water.”
FULL REVIEW HERE

Next we have exquisite insertable erotic art from the artisans at XHale Glass.  This is the second product we’ve reviewed from this outstanding company.  Look for the  Smooth Glider review.

The Heartbreaker ——  $189.99

Kevin & Gina
Kevin:  “What we saw first was this thick black velvet drawstring pouch.  It is stately enough to carry the crown jewels.”
Gina:  “And when we opened the pouch we saw the most magnificent textured glass insertable our eyes have ever seen.  It is absolutely stunning.  It stands 7” tall with a 1” diameter shaft.  The tapered realistic looking head is only slightly larger.  If that were all that was too it, it would be grand, but there’s more.  The textures on the shaftx351 are heart-shaped and, depending on the light look ruby red or a deep purple.  These hearts are actually 24K gold.  Can you believe that?  No wonder it comes nestled in its thick protective pouch.”
Kevin:  “Before we dared use The Heartbreaker we set it on a little pedestal in front of the hearth and watched the flames in the fireplace behind it dance through the glass.  It was so fuckin trippy!”
Gina:  “I broke the spell by suggesting we take The Heartbreaker to bed.  Kevin couldn’t resist the offer so we tossed a coin to see who would get first crack at it.”
Kevin:  “Gina always wins these coin tosses; I don’t even know why we continue to go through the motions.  At any rate, while she got ready in the bathroom I busied myself with getting two bowels of water ready; one with ice, the other hot water.  Once Gina was ready, I blindfolded her with a silk scarf.  I began kissing her all over, biting her nipples, eatin her cunt.  Once she was wet I dipped The Heartbreaker into the ice water and touched it to her pussy lips.”
Gina:  “I thought I was going to go through the ceiling.  The cold hardness took my breath away.  Kevin fucked me with The Heartbreaker while he masturbated.  I still was blindfolded but I could tell what he was doing by his rocking motion.”
Kevin:  “After Gina came a couple of times, I tried the hot water treatment.  This wasn’t as startling as the cold, but it worked its magic too.”
Gina:  “Once I had had my fill it was Kevin’s turn.  He hadn’t cum yet, so he was totally primed for my assault with The Heartbreaker.  I wiped down the toy with one of our toy wipes (it can also be sterilized) and slipped The Heartbreaker into my strap-on harness.  The glass dildo has a nice base on it that makes it perfect for use with a harness.”
Kevin:  “Gina lubed my ass with our favorite silicone lube; put a drop or two on The Heartbreaker; and before I could say ‘bugger’, she was in me.  The dildo’s head hit my prostate with a bang.  The slightly curved and textured shaft added the perfect sensations to my ass lips.  I was leaking precum like a faucet.”
Gina:  “I wouldn’t let him masturbate, but would rub his penis with my hand as I pegged him.  He begged for release.”
Kevin:  “She has a fuckin sadistic streak a mile long.”
Gina:  “When I finally got him off with my hand The Heartbreaker was deep inside him.  He came with such force I practically got knocked over.”
FULL REVIEW HERE

ENJOY

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You Go To My Head

Hey sex fans!

As much as I hate to admit it, it’s that time of the year again.  Today The Dr Dick Review Crew throws it into high gear to bring you our first installment of this year’s Holiday Gift Giving Guide. We want to get as many reviews out there in the next month as possible.  We want you to have a load of swell holiday gift giving ideas, don’t cha know.

This week’s Review Crew includes: Joy & Dixie, Angie and Christa.

We start the day off right with two offerings from Doc Johnson.

Awesome Blossom —— $46.99

Joy & Dixie
Dixie: “We have a beauty for you this week. It’s called Awesome Blossom.”
Joy: “We are like totally getting into glass insertables. Six months ago we didn’t own a one. Now we do though.”
Dixie: “Yep, we are now the proud owners of three glass dildos. And they are Sex_Toys_DJ029208spectacular. There is something about glass that really turns my crank.”
Joy: “Awesome Blossom is made of tempered glass. If you treat it with respect, as you would any fine adult toy, this thing will last a lifetime.”
Dixie: “Glass is so practical. There are no batteries to run down; nothing to recharge. It’s ready when you are.”
Joy: “Glass is nonporous and hypoallergenic, care and cleaning are a snap. For everyday cleanup a mild soap and water wash is fine. You can wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution. However, if you’re gonna share your Awesome Blossom or any other toy, sterilizing is recommended. Slip it into a pot of boiling water for a couple minutes and then it’s ready to go. Hey, ya can even pop this puppy in the dishwasher for a no fuss, no muss clean up.”
Dixie: “Exactly! And we’re all about sharing.”
Joy: “Oh, we should mention, for the sake of all our gay-boy friends, that Awesome Blossom makes a wonderful ass play toy too. You see it has a base on it that will keep it from popping into your pooper. The base also lets us use it in our harness. So there’s that!”
Dixie: “You can either chill or warm this beauty. And when it comes to lube; any lube will do. Regardless what kind of lube you choose, just know that a little goes a very long way.”
Joy: “In our rush to tell you all the features of glass, we have yet to describe Awesome Blossom. Atop the spiraled, clear-green shaft there is a clear teardrop shaped head. Inside the head is a three-dimensional image of a flower. The flower is a kind of wildflower, I would guess. The kind that blankets a meadow in the spring. It’s really sweet and lovely.”
Dixie: “The shaft is just over 1″ in diameter. The head is only a bit larger at about 1 1/4″ in diameter. The whole thing is just under 8” tall. There’s a bit of a curve to the shaft which make it perfect for G-spot (or P-spot) stimulation.
FULL REVIEW HERE

Next, Angie is up with the other Doc Johnson toy.

Alumination — Pink —— $29.90

Angie
Hello everyone! So glad to be with you again. I have the pleasure, both literally and figuratively, of introducing you to Alumination. It is my first metallic vibe and I like it very much.

It’s about as simple and straightforward a pleasure instrument as possible. It’s very slim and sleek; it’s made of aluminum; it’s waterproof; and it’s a 3-speed vibrator. It runs on two AAA-batteries (not included in the package). It’s not gonna knock your socks off in the power department, but it does get the job done.31iAhYUq8iL._AA280_

One of the best features of an aluminum toy is that it is so heat sensitive. You can add additional sensations to the vibration by chilling and/or warming the toy. My favorite is chilling it by dipping it in a dish of ice water for a few moments. Oh MY!

It’s just 6″ long, maybe 3/4” in diameter. Like I said, slim and sleek. It’s very quiet too, which I really appreciate.

Those of you who follow my reviews know that I love a waterproof vibe more than anything. Bath time is my time and my Alumination has been my companion for several weeks now. Only had to replace the batteries once. The battery compartment is easy to open and close, which is a huge plus in my book.

Aluminum is nonporous and hypoallergenic. Cleanup with mild soap and water; wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution or peroxide. You can even sterilize it in boiling water for a couple minutes.
FULL REVIEW HERE

Finally, the oh so charming Christa will tell us about her Synergy Erotic vibe.

Silicone Tsunami, Lavender  —— $59.99

Christa
Wow, Dr Dick, you called on me to review a normal toy this time.  What, you couldn’t find any freaky stuff for me?  How odd!

Just kidding.  I know I’m weird and all, but hey, I have my normal moments too.  And the Tsunami is perfect for when I’m being my other self, the small town girl from Indiana.SYN2500206

So here’s the 411 on this amazing little vibe.  It runs on 2 AA-batteries.  Unfortunately, none came in the package.  Hey you guys, some of us are starving students!  Toss us a bone here and include some freakin’ batteries in your package, why don’t cha?

Anyhow, this sweetie is 100% silicone, which is like the only material that I’ll let near my precious pussy.  I gotta have hypoallergenic or forget about it!  I also sometime share my toys with my sub, butt-boy BF, Alex.  He’s this total ass whore.  I’m the first chick he ever had play with his prostate.  Now it’s fuck me, fuck me, fuck me all the time.  SHEESH!

You can share silicone toys because you can sterilize them.  I can swish the Tsunami in boiling water for that purpose. I also wipe down my toys with a 10% bleach solution and a lint-free cloth between each use.  But you can use peroxide or rubbing alcohol too. Warm water and mild soap is what I use if I’m gonna keep the toy all to my self.

The wicked thing about the Tsunami is that it has 10 fuckin’ vibration modes.  That’s like crazy!  I never had a toy with so many different vibrations.  Luckily, it has an on/off button too, so you don’t have to run through all the modes to get to off.  Much appreciate that!
FULL REVIEW HERE

ENJOY!

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3 Hits and A Miss

We’re back with a slew of new reviews.  The intrepid Dr Dick’s Review Crew tackles a mixed bag of treats.

Today we will hear from Review Crew Members: Jada, Ken & Denise, Kevin and Jack & Karen.  So without further ado…

We begin with a couple of new offerings from that gargantuan adult toy company, Doc Johnson.  Here’s Jada to tell us about the first one.

Doc Johnson i-Vibe Rabbit Vibrator —— $36.30

Jada
The very first vibe I ever owned was a rabbit vibrator. I got off on it in record time, every time. But it was such a wild looking contraption I never really warmed up to it.

Aesthetically speaking, there’s something about the “rabbit” doohickey that juts out from the vibe’s shaft that I find disturbing. Don’t get me wrong; I understand the reason it is there. For most women, clitoral stimulation is what gets us off. I’m guessing that the 350__1_ivibe-rabbit-vibrator-grape.jpginsertable shaft, which is, strangely enough, usually penis shaped, is a way we tip our hat to the male member, even though most of our vibrator use is by ourselves. Frankly, I’ve never really understood that. I just don’t know too many women who need a penis reminder when we’re masturbating.

This suggests to me that these designs originate in the male mind. I wish there was a way I could substantiate this.

Ok, so from the aesthetics point of view the i-Vibe Rabbit Vibrator doesn’t do a thing for me. But I won’t detract points on that account either. I review the toy on its merits.

Speaking of aesthetics; what I do like about this toy is its packaging. It’s a plastic clamshell that slips inside a frosted oval plastic sheath. It’s a very nice presentation that I find very attractive.

The i-Vibe Rabbit uses 4-AA batteries and they are not included in the package. DISAPPOINTED! The battery compartment is easy to use and it seals shut making the toy waterproof. That’s a big plus in my book.

The keypad controls are pretty intuitive, although I think they should be in the reverse position. Like I said, most women use a vibrator on themselves. Looking down on the keypad, while using it on myself I see the controls upside down.

There are two main utilities — clitoral tickler (the rabbit) and shaft vibration (which doesn’t really vibrate, rather it rotates the beads in the shaft as well as the penis shaped head). There are different speeds and three functions. Frankly, I think all this is overkill.
FULL REVIEW HERE

Next, Kevin introduces us to the other Doc Johnson product.

Doc Johnson Harmony Divine Yin —— $49.99

Kevin
I’m happy to report that I had better luck with my toy then Jada did.

This here is the Harmony Divine Yin (black), which is exactly like the Yang (white), except for the color. It is a multi-speed (3), waterproof vibe with a very stylish shape. Despite having an interesting shape, there is nothing about it that suggests craftsmanship. You can tell immediately that it is mass-produced. There is also a disposable quality about it, which is too bad. Because with a little more though behind this, the Harmony Divine Yin could have been something quite remarkable.Sex_Toys_DJ091511

It is made of hard plastic. I didn’t think I was going to take to the hardness, but I wound up liking it very much. So I have no quarrel with the material used.

The batteries (2-AAA) are easy to install. No batteries are included in the package, which sucks. And the battery compartment is easily closed to create what they claim is a watertight fit. I use it in the shower, but I won’t use it in the bath. I’d just as soon not ruin this by tempting the fates, if ya know what I mean.

Harmony Divine Yin is not very powerful, but I won’t kick it out of bed. The nipple-like button turns it on and cycles through the three speeds. The hard plastic conducts the vibration better than say a jelly toy would; so there’s that. It’s pretty quiet too.

The serious end of Harmony Divine Yin is sort of plug-shaped and is nearly 2 inches in diameter at its widest part. In terms of this being used as a butt plug or a prostate stimulator, it isn’t for the novice butt pirate. However, it’s a nice external stimulator for your taint (perineum) and balls. Because it’s hard plastic, you can sit on it with the pointy end on your rosebud while you whack off. It gives you a nice little buzz. If you’re gonna use it internally; lube is a necessity. Again, because it’s hard plastic, you can use whatever kind of lube you want. This will make the tapered end easier to insert. Not that it’s particularly difficult for those of us who know what we’re doing.
FULL REVIEW HERE

Jack & Karen tell us about a new Tristan Taormino video.

The Expert Guide to Anal Sex ——  $29.95

Jack & Karen
Jack:  “So ya’ll know I’m real new at the whole butt sex thing, right?  I’m still discovering the pleasures that lie within.”
Karen:  “I’ve been dying to strap on one and give this boy a pegging he will not forget.”
Jack:  “It’s talk like that that give me pause.”
Karen:  “Sorry, honey, I was just making a little joke.”DVDVIVID1277
Jack:  “What my foray into anal sex has done for me is give me a greater sensitivity toward women and the invasive sex they have all the time.  I mean, if someone were to fuck me in the ass like I have fucked some women in the pussy, without even so much as a warm-up, I’d fuckin kill them.”
Karen:  “That is an awakening that I wish all men would come to sooner rather than later.”
Jack:  “Anyhow, not to veer too far off topic; I was glad we got this DVD to review.  It really opened my eyes to the pleasures to be had in butt fucking.”
Karen:  “This is a terrific resource for the novice as well as the proficient alan sex practitioners.  International sex expert, Tristan Taormino, talks to a group of (straight) couples about anal anatomy, as well as delvers tips, and techniques of anal pleasure. Her co-hosts, Lorelei and Ariel, demonstrate various techniques as Tristan narrates what they are doing.  There’s even a Q&A period.”
Jack:  “It is both super arousing and very informative.  This is a co-production with one of porn’s biggest companies, Vivid.  So you know it’s gonna be hot.  Unfortunately, and this is a huge disappointment for me; it’s only about women receiving anal.  What, they couldn’t have included some men on the receiving end?  Bummer.”
Karen:  “That is so true!  But that doesn’t diminish the information imparted.  For example, Tristan talks about lubes and desensitizing agents; and that’s applicable to both women and men.”
Jack:  “You get comments from Tristan as well as pop-up tips about the action throughout the feature.  I also liked the way the performers talked about anal sex and why they like it.  This goes a long way in helping demystify what is often a taboo subject for most couples.”
FULL REVIEW HERE

Finally, let’s have a little fun with Ken & Denise and their parlor game.  (This is a Good Vibrations Brand Ambassador review.)

Truth or Dare: A Game of Passion ——  $16.95

Ken & Denise
Denise:  “I love games, all kinds of games.  I guess I’m just a party girl at heart.”
Ken:  “I, on the other hand, think most games, especially parlor games are boring.”
Denise:  “Yeah, but this one is different, because it’s like a sex game.”
Ken:  “So we had two of our favorite couples over for dinner last week.  We were all sufficiently socially lubricated, if ya catch my drift.  We plunked ourselves down in front of the fire for a little postprandial toke, when little Mary sunshine over here hauls out the Truth or Dare game!”
Denise:  “What a better time for a little fun?”NAUGHTY_MTL_Truth_Or_Dare2
Ken:  “I’m thinkin’ ‘oh god, do we have to?’  But our friends who are green with envy over our gig on Dr Dick’s Review Crew were like, ‘cool, let’s do this!’”
Denise:  “Luckily, considering the condition we were all in, the game is super simple.  There’s one die that you roll and two stacks of cards — one marked Truth, the other marked Dare.”
Ken:  “The die has Truth or Dare on six of the eight sides.  The other two sides have the word ‘Wild’ on it.  If you roll that, you get to choose either a Truth or Dare card.  Then you can either do the thing yourself or order your partner to perform the task, or you can pass.”
Denise:  “We all got increasingly silly as the game wore on.  If you choose a Truth card, it may read, ‘If you could watch an intimate moment from your partner’s life before your met, what would that be?’ ‘Would you ever buy a private lap dance for your partner?’  ‘What authority figure possesses the most erotic possibilities for you?’  ‘What sensual characteristic or ability do you envy in the opposite sex?’”
Ken:  “The Dare” cards are equally innocuous; however, they often involve props — computers, whipped cream, makeup, etc.  ‘You are the subject of an impromptu erotic photo shoot.  You partner will be the photographer…’  ‘Perform a seductive and enticing striptease to the music of your choice.’ ‘Create a bondage costume using nothing but plastic wrap!’  You get the idea.”
FULL REVIEW HERE

ENJOY

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Fabulous Four

Because The Dr Dick Review Crew has been inundated with loads of swell adult products to review, we will be presenting several different toys each week till we relieve the backlog.

Despite it not even being Halloween yet, I know from my forays into the land of retail that holiday gift giving is not far from the minds of a lot of people.  Perish the thought!  So expediting our reviews will also give you loads of gift-giving ideas.  And that, my friends, is all I’m gonna say about that till at least the middle of next month when we launch our annual Holiday Gift Giving Guide.

Today we will hear from Review Crew Members: Madora, Joy & Dixie, Brad and Glenn & Hank.  So without further ado…

There’s something brand-spankin new goin on at Fleshlight.   Here’s Brad to tell us all about it.
Sex In A Can: Spread Eagle Brew —— $39.95

The Fleshlight company has been around for a lone time. They make the legendary Fleshlight and Fleshjack. I’m the proud owner of my very own Fleshlight; it is my go-to toy for spankin the monkey. I never get tired of my Fleshlight and I wouldn’t give it up for the world. That’s way I wanted to review their new product: Sex In A Can.large_1759

I am of the mind that foolin’ around with or trying to improve on a great product, an icon even, will sure enough just fuck things up. I just couldn’t see why the Fleshlight people were tempting fate by bring out Sex In A Can. But I promised Dr Dick that I would set aside my preconceived ideas and approach this new product with an open mind.

Damn! I’ll be the first to admit, I was totally off base in thinking the iconic Fleshlight couldn’t be improved upon. Wait, improved is not the word I’m looking for, because Sex In A Can doesn’t really improve on the original design, it just gives the consumer yet another option.

Those of you familiar with Fleshlight will know that every customer can pretty much customize every aspect of the unit he wants to buy. They have several “orifice” options: pussy, mouth, asshole or “neutral”. The plastic case comes in silver, black or clear. The insert comes in different colors, and there are several different internal contours for the insert itself.

Sex In A Can is basically just another option in terms of size and shape. Here’s what I mean. Sex In A Can is shaped like a tallboy beer, instead of the traditional oversized Fleshlight shape. It is lighter, more compact, less expensive, yet it has all the features of its big brothers.

There are three brand new “orifice” options — two different pussies (Mmmm, pussies!) and a mouth. Three new insert contours too. Everything else — including the patented Superskin insert remains the same. The plastic case, the thing that looks like a tallboy beer, has removable caps at both ends, as does the Fleshlight. The top cap covers the head of the insert and keeps it clean when your dick’s not in it. The end cap can also be removed for easy cleaning.

Just like the Fleshlight, ya gotta loosen the end cap a bit before you attempt to stick in your dick. Sex In A Can is a whole lot tighter than my stalwart Fleshlight. In fact, bein the hefty-cock brother I am, it was a very tight squeeze. I had to use a shitload of lube just to get me started. Oh, and by the way, you can only use water-based lube with all the Fleshlight Superskin products. Here’s a tip: you adjust the suction created inside Sex In A Can by either loosening or tightening the base cap.

Clean up is a super-easy. A little soap and water will do the trick. But once the insert is dry, you have to dust it, inside and out, with a little cornstarch, or body powder. This will help keep things as fresh as the day you got it.

My Sex In A Can: Spread Eagle Brew, came with the Pink Spread Lady orifice; (Mmmm, pussies!) mini vortex insert; the cleverly designed beer can case; and sample packet of lube.
FULL REVIEW HERE

Sex furniture?  You betcha!  Glenn & Hank walk you around this offering from the amazing folks at Liberator.
Liberator Ramp —— $200.00

Glenn: “Check this out! This is the best thing that’s happened to butt fuckin since the invention of the sling. The Ramp is just one of Liberator’s many sex furniture shapes that are designed to add more fun and lessen bodily stress for whatever kind of sex you have up your sleeve.”
Hank: “Or down your pant leg, as the case may be. We got us a plus sized Ramp and it is covered in black pleather. But you can choose from a bunch of sizes and fabric options.”

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Glenn: “Pleather is great, because it cleans up fast. And that’s a big plus because our sessions can get pretty messy.”
Hank: “Ok, so what is the Liberator Ramp exactly and why is even better than a sling, or a swing for that matter? Good questions. The Liberator Ramp is a big triangular shaped, sturdy, comfy and solidly made cushion. Ours is 29” X 35” X 12”. And it can be used in a multitude of ways.”
Glenn: “It’s better than a sling or swing, because it’s portable, storable and you don’t have to suspend it from the ceiling, or set it up every time you want to shag. It does stow easily under the bed. It’s perfect for butt fuckin, because regardless of what position you like the Liberator Ramp is gonna make the sex a whole lot better for the top as well as the bottom.”
Hank: “Glenn likes it doggie style. I just bend him over the Ramp and plow away at his ass. It’s easier on me, because his ass is elevated to just the right position for the ass-ult. I can go as deep as possible, because his pelvis is supported by the Ramp. Oh, and ya can’t really do doggie style in a sling or swing!”
Glenn: “Hank is right! I don’t have to arch my back or strain my arms and wrists pressing back against his manly thrusts. But he can still grab my hair and pull.”
Hank: “You joke, but I know you love it deep and heavy. You’re just a dirty little piggy bottom, aren’t you?”
Glenn: “Oink, oink! I do enjoy a furious ride, that’s for damn sure. Ok, so if you want to do another position, all you do is reposition yourself on the Ramp for a little face-to-face action. Like I lay down on the Ramp, with my head at the lowest part of the incline. I scoot my butt to the highest edge of the incline.”
Hank: “Again, his ass is perfectly positioned for me to fuck him silly. With Glenn already angled down, I can lift and open his legs with ease.”
Glenn: “My toes are pointed to Jesus, and I’m in fuckin’ heaven.”
Hank: “Oh, the Ramp is great for cocksucking too. I just lay back on the Ramp, in the position Glenn just described, which elevates my hips 12” off the floor. Glenn has all the access he needs to my dick, balls and rosebud. He can service me till his heart’s content.”
Glenn: “Again, there no stress or strain on my neck or back while I blow him. And in this position Hank can grab his knees and pull open his own legs. PERFECT!”
FULL REVIEW HERE

Joy & Dixie have the pleasure of introducing you to a new kid on the block, Duncan Charles Designs. They specialize in unique, handcrafted ceramic adult toys.

Signature —— $55.00

Dixie: “Here’s something refreshing, this ceramic textured dildo is handmade! I’m so tired of mass-produced sex toys, aren’t you? Oh to have something unique, something that is crafted not manufactured.”
Joy: “Dixie is so right; I love knowing that no one else on the planet had precisely the same toy as we have. Each Duncan Charles Designs piece is unlike any other. In fact, it’s beautiful art. And it is GREEN!”
Dixie: “Signature has a food grade high-gloss coating that makes it as smooth as glass. But it is also textured, just the way we like it. Despite it being ceramic, there is nothing fussy about this beauty.”
Joy: “However, you will want to treat Signature with loving care, not because it’s fragile, but because it is a fine-looking sculpture.”
Dixie: “Signature comes wrapped in a lovely lined ultrasuede pouch. Ours is jet black, but it also comes in red. It’s just under 8″ long and weighs in at just over 8 ounces.”
Joy: “It has a rounded head on top of its scalloped shaft. The ridges add immeasurable fun. Because of the super high-gloss finish, we only had to use a little bit of lube. And you can use any type of lube you want with this ceramic baby.”

DCD signature black

Dixie: “This dildo is designed for g-spot, clitoral or prostate massage. Unlike most of the other G-spot stimulators that have a curve to them Signature is straight as an arrow. And yet it is just as effective as the curved ones.”
Joy: “I also really like the fact that I can warm and chill the Signature to suit my mood. You can chill it in the refrigerator for a few minutes or warm it by placing it under running hot water.”
FULL REVIEW HERE

Finally, Madora, has something fun from Big Teaze Toys to show you.

Super Flower Power: 2 Piece Bouquet —— $29.99

Home; batteries included (triple A), YES! I love it when that happens. Inside there’s a bonus Flower Power keychain, a mini version of the vibe that looks like a little daisy without the stem, this one even comes with bonus extra batteries (the little watch kind), EXCELLENT!sfp-500px

My first impression is that the vibrating part, the center of the flower, is a little hard for me. At least for direct contact with my “flower”. The center of the flower is hard plastic. But I like the soft petals which spread the vibes out from its petals to yours. It’s like a gentle labia massage, which is cool and rare in a vibrator. These are especially nice if you use a little lube on the petals.

I’m starting to get used to the texture and hardness. I actually like it and like the strength of the vibe when I’m using it through my clothes, the barrier makes it not seem so hard and yet it’s still able to convey strong enough vibes right through to where they’re needed. I was thinking it could be fun for when you want to tease your partner right through her clothes. Did I mention these toys are waterproof?

All in all it definitely did the trick but when I really start to get into it, either with the vibe or the little keychain, the soft petal ring pops right off the vibrator. I either hafta kinda hold it on, or stop and put it back on, if I wanna keep playing with that part. So that’s a bummer.

The keychain has been a godsend. I’m on a trip right now and brought it with me and wasn’t concerned about security seeing it, It just looks like a toy. I ended up having cramps and everyone knows an orgasm is the best thing for cramps so I put it to use, you know, for medicinal purposes.
FULL REVIEW HERE

ENJOY

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Great ideas, questionable execution…

We have a couple more Synergy Erotic toys to tell you about.  I can say in advance that the Dr Dick Review Crew is more than a little frustrated.  We see so much potential in this company, but sadly they have yet to hit their stride in consistently producing quality toys.

They are full of very interesting ideas, but their execution leaves a great deal to be desired.  We wondered out loud in a previous review:  “We do, however, have a few words of advice for the Synergy Erotic people.  Why not invest more in the production values of your products and make a name for yourself in terms of quality, not price per unit. We’d be willing to pay considerably more for a vibe, like this, that actually worked as advertised.”

Review Crew members, Madora and Chuck take turns filling us in on these two products.

SILK waterproof vibe                 $17.91

Madora

My first impression of the SILK vibe by Synergy Erotic was that it was adorable, but without being 9972-92disgustingly so.  Mine’s lavender but it comes in pink too.  I was impressed by their minimal yet informative packaging.

SILK measures approximately 7.5 x 1.25 inches and has cute flowers “growing” all over it.  The flowers are slightly raised, which adds a bit more texture.  It’s got what they call “infinite vibration”, it’s waterproof, multi-speed, phthalate free, and runs on 2 AA batteries, which are not included.  Bad luck for that!

The first time I used the SILK vibe I turned the ring to turn the vibration on and it just kept turning.  Broken already!  I mean REALLY!  The very first use and it’s broken.  So unfortunately I had to totally screw the top on and off every time I want to use it.  But even this didn’t always work.  I had a devil of a time turning it on. (Which isn’t good thing when I’m already turned on!)

SILK has some potential.  I think it’s cute and it is flexy and kinda squishy in parts but not so much that you couldn’t use it properly.  I found I was able to slip it in my bum without much pain because it has such nice give to it. (I can’t do that with other harder toys).  It’s got a pretty good-sized vibrating egg in the tip, but it doesn’t really conduct a lot of the vibrations through the rest of the shaft.

Full review HERE

Beer Babe Vagina Precious Pink $20.94

Chuck

This here is the Beer Babe Vagina in what they call Precious Pink. It also comes in, god help us, Raunchy Red.

I’m gay! So right off the bat, the promotional pitch for this product didn’t appeal to me. Seems to me Synergy SYN1700002_1Erotic is needlessly eliminating a whole bunch of potential queer customers with this approach, but that’s just me. I do love a good masturbating sleeve. So even if it looks like a cunt, I won’t hold that against it. I mean once I get goin, I’m not gonna notice the configuration of the orifice.

The Beer Babe gets high marks for creativity. I mean besides it looking like a bottle of beer, the copy on the label is a hoot. “Superb Jackability” on the front. And on the back: “Prolonged use of this item may cause pleasure, stimulation and finally ejaculation! Use of suitable water-based lubricants and appropriate visual ages is highly recommended. Deposit Required!”

It says that it’s 9” fleshy inches. But that’s simply not true. The whole bottle is 9 inches. And no one’s dick, least of all mine, would fit in the bottle’s neck. Besides, the “fleshy” insert is only 6 inches. And while that might suit most guys; if you got anything over a 6 inch boner, the head of your dick is gonna get jammed up against the tapering neck of the bottle. OUCH!

Vigorous thrusting, the kind I like, will also dislodge the fleshy insert from the hard plastic bottle. This is frustrating in the extreme.

When I first took this thing from its packaging and opened the base to look inside, a wave of noxious fumes came from within. WTF? I mentioned this to Dr Dick and he said that’s called off-gas. Which is a nasty by-product of manufacturing. I wasn’t about to stick my dick in there till I eliminated the smell. I soaked the entire unit, inside and out, in hot soapy water first, to rid it of the smell.

After only one attempt at squeezing one off with the Beer Babe ; I gave up. Like I said, the insert kept separating from the bottle shaped holder.

Full review HERE

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Two Cute!

We have two more vibes from Synergy Erotic to tell you about.

We’ve reviewed a slew of their products since the beginning of the year.  Today we take a look at The Plasma Illuminate-Her Strobing Uber Balls and The Elite Silicone Wave.

Jack and Karen do the honors.

The Plasma Illuminate-Her Strobing Uber Balls $21.23

Jack & Karen

Karen:  “When last we had an opportunity to review some Synergy Erotic toys, we didn’t have such a good time.”
Jack:  “You can say that again!”
Karen:  “Happily, today is different.  While neither of these toys will rank among our favorites of the year they were fun novelties, for sure.”9972-83.JPG
Jack:  “First off we have The Plasma Illuminate-Her Strobing Uber Balls.  That’s a mouthful, huh?  What we have here is three hot pink plastic balls, about 3/4” in diameter attached to one another by a power cord that attaches to a pink power pack.  Got that?  Each ball contains a high-speed micro motor capable of spinning at thousands of RPM’s, which generates a high-frequency vibration.  The balls also contain a multi-color LED that flash in time with the vibration.  Can ya stand it?”
Karen:  “I know, I was like mesmerized once the  The Plasma Illuminate-Her got going.  Who thought of something like this, I wonder?
Not to get ahead of myself here, I installed 3 AAA batteries in the power pack (I had to use my own, because no batteries were included in the package). The power pack has an on/off button as well as an up button and a down button.  It has 7 various speeds”
Jack:  “The balls are waterproof and are meant, I suppose, to be inserted in one’s pussy or ass.  Please note:  the power pack is not waterproof!”
Karen:  “When cranked up to the highest level the ball are in a frenetic state.  They’re buzzin’ and flashin’, like nobody’s business.  Laying the balls astride my genitals — one at my taint, one at vagina and one on my clit blew me away.  When Jack got on top of me and ground his dick on top of the balls pushing them deeper into my skin I came in a minute.”
Jack:  “The vibration felt great on my dick too.”
Karen:  “I tried the The Plasma Illuminate-Her inside me too, but that wasn’t all that terrific.  Either the balls weren’t big enough or my vaginal walls are way too padded.  The vibration just got lost.”
Jack:  “Karen’s got the deepest and most cavernous pussy I ever did see.  It’s no wonder these little balls got lost in there.”

Full Review HERE!

Silicone Elite Wave $28.05

Jack:  “Next up is the Silicone Elite Wave.  This is a slim, stylishly designed — wavy — vibe that has 5 vibrating/pulsating functions.”
Karen:  “There’s a one-button control on the base of the vibe that turns the thing on and off as well as rotates through the pulsating functions.  I’m not a big fan of a one-button controller, but that’s just me.  The package claims the vibe is made of silicone, but one has to wonder what grade of silicone can be had for the price of this vibe?”9972-72
Jack:  “That’s true enough, but I’d rather have silicone of any grade than have something with a lot of Phthalate in it.  Wouldn’t you agree?”
Karen:  “I would agree.  And thank you for stating that.
I unscrewed the base of the vibe, installed 2 AAA batteries in the shaft (I had to use my own, because no batteries were included in the package). And switched it on.  It’s very quiet with surprisingly strong vibration for a little fella.”
Jack:  “Karen got to use it first on her own.  When we used it together, it was very effective.  Since it doesn’t have that traditional cock shape it will please more men when using it with their partner.  It’s also less obtrusive than a larger vibe.  And like Karen said, it has a nice punch to it, despite its size.”
Karen:  “My private play was wonderful.  The soft tip of the vibe was perfect for stimulating between my vaginal lips.  And it nuzzled my clit nicely too.”
Jack:  “I got to use the Silicone Elite Wave on my own too.  Since it’s waterproof, I took it in the shower with me.  I love squeezing one off in the shower, don’t you?  The vibe slipped up my ass so easily, just like when I finger myself when I’m yankin’ on my joint.  And I can tell you; even though this vibe isn’t much thicker than my finger, it does a much better job stimulating my prostate.”
Karen:  “Because we shared this toy, I’m grateful that it’s so easy to clean and disinfect.  Warm water and soap to clean, a 10% bleach solution to disinfect.”
Jack:  “I was all jazzed up about the Silicone Elite Wave, thinking I had found a mini treasure, when it was time to change out the batteries.  Apparently Karen and I ran the toy down in record time.  At any rate, I removed the base cap and discovered to my great disappointment that the batteries had become stuck in the shaft.  Dislodging the batteries meant that the thin copper wires on either side of the cylinder came out with the batteries.  DISAPPOINTED!”

Full Review HERE!

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Elegant ELISE

Hey sex fans,

So here we go with Part 4 of our LELO reviews (and we still have three more to go).  If you somehow missed the previous installments, use the search function to the right.  Type in LELO, and presto!

Jack & Karen do the honors

ELISE —— $169

Jack & Karen
Karen: “Finally we’ve got our hands on a LELO. We were beginning to wonder who we had to fuck to get in on the LELO action around here.”
Jack: “Like my daddy always said, ‘Ya gotta walk through a lot of manure before you find the pony.’”
Karen: “The ELISE is way better than a pony!
This black beauty (ours is black) is made from medical grade silicone. It’s just short of 10” long with just about 5” insertable length. It’s got a sweet curve to it and its torpedo-shaped. I like that shape because it looks just like Jack’s thingy.”
Jack: “Thingy? My THINGY? She’s such a grownup.”
Karen: “Sorry, that didn’t come out like I hoped. Jack’s cock is torpedo-shaped and it curves, to the left. Is that better, honey?”
Jack: “Yes dear, that’s better. It’s just that I never heard you use “thingy” before.
Ok, on with our review. The ELISE has 5 stimulation modes and 5 speeds. It’s super quiet. It’s also rechargeable; so there’s no stinkin’ batteries to buy.”
Karen: “The Scandinavian designers of the ELISE clearly had the woman user in mind when they developed this vibe. When I use it by myself, for G-spot stimulation, the controls are right where they should be, in the handle were I see and can reach them. There are also two, count them, two points of vibration — one in the tip, another in the shaft.”
Jack: “The ELISE comes with the elegant signature LELO high-end packaging. It’s a gift just waiting to be given.”
Karen: “But be sure to use only water-based lube with this silicone vibe.”
Jack: “And be careful that you don’t get any lube (or water, when you’re cleaning up) in the recharging port.”
Karen: “That’s the only drawback I see to this Pleasure Object. Other than that, you can be completely uninhibited with the ELISE. Isn’t that true, Jack? Why not tell the good people your little secret?”
Jack: “Ok, ok, Stop The Presses! I have an announcement. I broke my ass cherry with the ELISE. There I said it.
I wasn’t actually gonna say that here, because I’m still a little, how shall I put this, sensitive about the whole anal insertion thing. But WTF, right?

I mean I had a ball with this bugger. I’m like totally sold on the prostate massage concept now. But still, years of equating butt-play with gay will take awhile to dissolve.”
Karen: “I am so proud of you for coming out like this, you little butt pirate, you!”
Jack: “Hey now, that’s our little secret.”
Karen: “Yeah, us and all of our readers.”
Jack : “Like I suggested a bit ago, cleanup is easy with just some soap and water; just mind the recharger port. If you’re gonna share this toy, like we did, be sure to thoroughly wipe it down with a lint-free towel wet with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution. Remember, you won’t be able to boil it or pop it in the dishwasher to sterilize.”

See the full review HERE!

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Double Trouble

Hey sex fans,

We’re back with Part 2 of our Simply Blown reviews.  Did you somehow miss Part 1?  Not to worry, you can see it HERE!

These exquisite glass insertables are museum quality.  Each is a unique, sexy Objet d’Art.

Today Joy and Dixie present The Two Way

The Two Way

Joy: “First off, there is no way a photo on a website could ever capture the stunning beauty of The Two Way.”
Dixie: “That is so true! When either one or both of us aren’t enjoying The Two Way in the bedroom; it is proudly displayed on our mantelpiece on its own Plexiglas stand. Can ya stand it?”
Joy: “I actually prefer this in my pussy, or better yet as a double dong for both our pussies; but it is lovely on the mantel, that’s for damn sure.”
Dixie: “The Two Way is made of Pyrex glass. Ya know, that durable glass that daily takes a beating in your kitchen.”
Joy: “It’s a whooper too! It’s approximately 12” long x 1” diameter. It weighs a hefty 1lb 12.6 oz. It’s quite a handful. There is no texture to it; it’s totally smooth.”

Dixie: “Actually, it’s more than a handful. More than even two hands full.”

Joy: “And as I said, your can play with this solo, or make it a party for two. There is nothing gender specific about this; so boys can have a ball with this too!”
Dixie: “If you are unfamiliar with glass insertables, you should know that the market is currently being flooded with glass products. Very few of them are as fine a quality as The Two Way. The cheap knock-offs are being mass-produced in China. I’d avoid that stuff like the plague, if i were you. In this instance, you should expect to pay some real good money, $120+, for something top of the line like this.”
Joy: “Glass is like no other sex toy material. With just the tiniest amount of lube (we use a silicone-based lube) this thing becomes amazingly slick. And you can warm or chill this baby for added sensations.”
Dixie: “The Two Way, like all quality glass products, is easy to care for too. Warm soapy water and a nice lint-free towel is all you need for clean up. But you can pop it in the dishwasher; sterilize it in a 10% bleach solution; or dip it in boiling water for a couple of minutes. Because glass is non-porous, it is the ideal material for the toys one shares.”

Full Review HERE!

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Class (GLASS) Act

Hey sex fans,

Lookie what we have here; its art that is as stunning on your mantle as it is inside you.  Over the next two weeks, the Dr Dick Review Crew has the pleasure (both literally and figuratively) of introducing you to three exquisite insertables by a brand new artisan:  Simply Blown.  They get extra points for their name and the double entendre. Who doesn’t appreciate a sex toy company with a sense of humor?

Each one of the toys we have is unique.  They are individually crafted and are museum quality.  Think of it as old world craftsmanship with a wickedly sexy edge.  What could be finer?

Dr Dick Review Crew members — Gina & Kevin and Joy & Dixie do the honors.

This week Gina & Kevin is tell us about Love Line.

Gina: “You can understand my excitement when Kevin and I were chosen to review these beauties. Just look at them! I could hardly contain myself.”
Kevin: “She gets that way sometimes.”
Gina: “What, are you trying to say you didn’t cream your jeans at the thought of having one of this up your bum?”
Kevin: “Oh I’m so BUSTED!”
Gina: “There, I told you.”
Kevin: “Gina’s right we both got a little moist at the thought of diddlin’ ourselves (and one another) with the likes of the Love Line. She got the big one — 9″ tall x 1 5/8″ diameter, which stand on a flared base.”
Gina: “And he got the petite one — 5″ tall x 1″ diameter, also with a flared base.”
Kevin: “She used hers in her pussy, I used mine in my ass!”
Gina: “It’s exactly like Jack Sprat and his wife, only completely different.”product_1
Kevin: “We no sooner got in the door when we dropped trou, whipped out the lube and had at it for our first go.”
Gina: “The tiniest bit of lube, either water-based or silicone-based, makes these beautiful glass insertables super slick.”
Kevin: “I love to watch Gina fuck herself with her toys. I get so fuckin’ hot. The Love Line glass made the experience almost psychedelic. Once she got her rhythm, the 9” of super-smooth purple art plunged deeper into Gina with each stroke. This drove her wild. And, of course, I egged her on by making the most lewd comments I could think of. ‘That’s it baby, stretch out that tiny little cunt of yours with that really big boy.’ ”
Gina: “He does love his dirty talk. I used to be so embarrassed when he would do that. It sounded so crude. Now turns me on. See I’m growing!”
Kevin: “Gina’s on her back, propped up by pillows. I’m opposite her squatting till my ass lips come in contact with the glass. It’s cool and my ass devours it.”
Gina: “It’s true, without so much as a moment’s hesitation the petite pink plug disappears inside him. He grins with amusement and spews more filthy talk.”
Kevin: “I’ve taken bigger, but the hardness of the glass is a new sensation. Oh, and by the way, this insertable can’t really be called a plug. It’s a dildo. A plug would have a notch just before the base that my sphincter would lock onto to hold it in place.”
Gina: “I stand corrected.”
Kevin: “I sure do hope Simply Blown does come out with a line of plugs. Because I would love to wear one of these babies for a few hours.”
Gina: “We both came watching each other pleasure ourselves. I love to watch Kevin feed his behind.”
Kevin: “Don’t you just love how she avoids calling my asshole an asshole?”
Gina: “Sheesh!”
Kevin: “On our next date with the Love Line we took our time. We added some sensation play. The Love Line, indeed all fine glass like this, can be heated and chilled. We used both, a hot water bath in one bowl and an ice water bath in the other. Going from hot to cold or cold to hot blew our minds.”

Full Review HERE!