Category Archives: Dildo

Elegant ELISE

Hey sex fans,

So here we go with Part 4 of our LELO reviews (and we still have three more to go).  If you somehow missed the previous installments, use the search function to the right.  Type in LELO, and presto!

Jack & Karen do the honors

ELISE —— $169

Jack & Karen
Karen: “Finally we’ve got our hands on a LELO. We were beginning to wonder who we had to fuck to get in on the LELO action around here.”
Jack: “Like my daddy always said, ‘Ya gotta walk through a lot of manure before you find the pony.’”
Karen: “The
ELISE is way better than a pony!
This black beauty (ours is black) is made from medical grade silicone. It’s just short of 10” long with just about 5” insertable length. It’s got a sweet curve to it and its torpedo-shaped. I like that shape because it looks just like Jack’s thingy.”
Jack: “Thingy? My THINGY? She’s such a grownup.”
Karen: “Sorry, that didn’t come out like I hoped. Jack’s cock is torpedo-shaped and it curves, to the left. Is that better, honey?”
Jack: “Yes dear, that’s better. It’s just that I never heard you use “thingy” before.
Ok, on with our review. The
ELISE has 5 stimulation modes and 5 speeds. It’s super quiet. It’s also rechargeable; so there’s no stinkin’ batteries to buy.”
Karen: “The Scandinavian designers of the
ELISE clearly had the woman user in mind when they developed this vibe. When I use it by myself, for G-spot stimulation, the controls are right where they should be, in the handle were I see and can reach them. There are also two, count them, two points of vibration — one in the tip, another in the shaft.”
Jack: “The
ELISE comes with the elegant signature LELO high-end packaging. It’s a gift just waiting to be given.”
Karen: “But be sure to use only water-based lube with this silicone vibe.”
Jack: “And be careful that you don’t get any lube (or water, when you’re cleaning up) in the recharging port.”
Karen: “That’s the only drawback I see to this Pleasure Object. Other than that, you can be completely uninhibited with the
ELISE. Isn’t that true, Jack? Why not tell the good people your little secret?”
Jack: “Ok, ok, Stop The Presses! I have an announcement. I broke my ass cherry with the ELISE. There I said it.
I wasn’t actually gonna say that here, because I’m still a little, how shall I put this, sensitive about the whole anal insertion thing. But WTF, right?

I mean I had a ball with this bugger. I’m like totally sold on the prostate massage concept now. But still, years of equating butt-play with gay will take awhile to dissolve.”
Karen: “I am so proud of you for coming out like this, you little butt pirate, you!”
Jack: “Hey now, that’s our little secret.”
Karen: “Yeah, us and all of our readers.”
Jack : “Like I suggested a bit ago, cleanup is easy with just some soap and water; just mind the recharger port. If you’re gonna share this toy, like we did, be sure to thoroughly wipe it down with a lint-free towel wet with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution. Remember, you won’t be able to boil it or pop it in the dishwasher to sterilize.”

See the full review HERE!

Double Trouble

Hey sex fans,

We’re back with Part 2 of our Simply Blown reviews.  Did you somehow miss Part 1?  Not to worry, you can see it HERE!

These exquisite glass insertables are museum quality.  Each is a unique, sexy Objet d’Art.

Today Joy and Dixie present The Two Way

The Two Way

Joy: “First off, there is no way a photo on a website could ever capture the stunning beauty of The Two Way.”
Dixie: “That is so true! When either one or both of us aren’t enjoying
The Two Way in the bedroom; it is proudly displayed on our mantelpiece on its own Plexiglas stand. Can ya stand it?”
Joy: “I actually prefer this in my pussy, or better yet as a double dong for both our pussies; but it is lovely on the mantel, that’s for damn sure.”
Dixie: “
The Two Way is made of Pyrex glass. Ya know, that durable glass that daily takes a beating in your kitchen.”
Joy: “It’s a whooper too! It’s approximately 12” long x 1” diameter. It weighs a hefty 1lb 12.6 oz. It’s quite a handful. There is no texture to it; it’s totally smooth.”

Dixie: “Actually, it’s more than a handful. More than even two hands full.”

Joy: “And as I said, your can play with this solo, or make it a party for two. There is nothing gender specific about this; so boys can have a ball with this too!”
Dixie: “If you are unfamiliar with glass insertables, you should know that the market is currently being flooded with glass products. Very few of them are as fine a quality as
The Two Way. The cheap knock-offs are being mass-produced in China. I’d avoid that stuff like the plague, if i were you. In this instance, you should expect to pay some real good money, $120+, for something top of the line like this.”
Joy: “Glass is like no other sex toy material. With just the tiniest amount of lube (we use a silicone-based lube) this thing becomes amazingly slick. And you can warm or chill this baby for added sensations.”
Dixie: “
The Two Way, like all quality glass products, is easy to care for too. Warm soapy water and a nice lint-free towel is all you need for clean up. But you can pop it in the dishwasher; sterilize it in a 10% bleach solution; or dip it in boiling water for a couple of minutes. Because glass is non-porous, it is the ideal material for the toys one shares.”

Full Review HERE!

Class (GLASS) Act

Hey sex fans,

Lookie what we have here; its art that is as stunning on your mantle as it is inside you.  Over the next two weeks, the Dr Dick Review Crew has the pleasure (both literally and figuratively) of introducing you to three exquisite insertables by a brand new artisan:  Simply Blown.  They get extra points for their name and the double entendre. Who doesn’t appreciate a sex toy company with a sense of humor?

Each one of the toys we have is unique.  They are individually crafted and are museum quality.  Think of it as old world craftsmanship with a wickedly sexy edge.  What could be finer?

Dr Dick Review Crew members — Gina & Kevin and Joy & Dixie do the honors.

This week Gina & Kevin is tell us about Love Line.

Gina: “You can understand my excitement when Kevin and I were chosen to review these beauties. Just look at them! I could hardly contain myself.”
Kevin: “She gets that way sometimes.”
Gina: “What, are you trying to say you didn’t cream your jeans at the thought of having one of this up your bum?”
Kevin: “Oh I’m so BUSTED!”
Gina: “There, I told you.”
Kevin: “Gina’s right we both got a little moist at the thought of diddlin’ ourselves (and one another) with the likes of the
Love Line. She got the big one — 9″ tall x 1 5/8″ diameter, which stand on a flared base.”
Gina: “And he got the petite one — 5″ tall x 1″ diameter, also with a flared base.”
Kevin: “She used hers in her pussy, I used mine in my ass!”
Gina: “It’s exactly like Jack Sprat and his wife, only completely different.”product_1
Kevin: “We no sooner got in the door when we dropped trou, whipped out the lube and had at it for our first go.”
Gina: “The tiniest bit of lube, either water-based or silicone-based, makes these beautiful glass insertables super slick.”
Kevin: “I love to watch Gina fuck herself with her toys. I get so fuckin’ hot. The
Love Line glass made the experience almost psychedelic. Once she got her rhythm, the 9” of super-smooth purple art plunged deeper into Gina with each stroke. This drove her wild. And, of course, I egged her on by making the most lewd comments I could think of. ‘That’s it baby, stretch out that tiny little cunt of yours with that really big boy.’ ”
Gina: “He does love his dirty talk. I used to be so embarrassed when he would do that. It sounded so crude. Now turns me on. See I’m growing!”
Kevin: “Gina’s on her back, propped up by pillows. I’m opposite her squatting till my ass lips come in contact with the glass. It’s cool and my ass devours it.”
Gina: “It’s true, without so much as a moment’s hesitation the petite pink plug disappears inside him. He grins with amusement and spews more filthy talk.”
Kevin: “I’ve taken bigger, but the hardness of the glass is a new sensation. Oh, and by the way, this insertable can’t really be called a plug. It’s a dildo. A plug would have a notch just before the base that my sphincter would lock onto to hold it in place.”
Gina: “I stand corrected.”
Kevin: “I sure do hope Simply Blown does come out with a line of plugs. Because I would love to wear one of these babies for a few hours.”
Gina: “We both came watching each other pleasure ourselves. I love to watch Kevin feed his behind.”
Kevin: “Don’t you just love how she avoids calling my asshole an asshole?”
Gina: “Sheesh!”
Kevin: “On our next date with the
Love Line we took our time. We added some sensation play. The Love Line, indeed all fine glass like this, can be heated and chilled. We used both, a hot water bath in one bowl and an ice water bath in the other. Going from hot to cold or cold to hot blew our minds.”

Full Review HERE!

Two Lovelies from LELO

This is Part 2 of our LELO reviews.  Somehow missed Part 1?  Not to worry; find it HERE!

Dr Dick Review Crew members — Denise and Hank & Glenn do the honors.

Denise is up first with IRIS.
IRIS by LELO $129.00

Denise

I’m in love with LELO! I feel like I’ve scored the Review Crew jackpot with my IRIS.

I have the pleasure of introducing you to IRIS, the beautifully designed and multifunctional silicone vibrating dildo, I mean insertable…I mean pleasure object. Sheesh! LELO is so freakin’ high-end that they’ve taken it upon themselves to euphemize their sex toys as pleasure objects. I say; “a rose by any other name…”

I’ve never been one to buy into the hype about sex toys, especially hype generated by a toy’s manufacturer about its own products. But somehow “pleasure object” fits in this case. LELO spares no expense in treating their customers like we’re someone special. I mean, everything from the stylish upscale (some would say overkill) packaging to the 1-year LELO warranty confidently states quality. Is there another toy on the market that comes with a warranty?

IRIS comes in three appealing girly colors, mine is pink. Judging just from the color palette this pleasure object is obviously part of LELO Femme line. They also have their Homme line that features guy toys in guy colors. I’m not so particular about color, but I’ll bet a man would be less inclined to buy an IRIS because of the color. And that’s too bad, because this toy could easily be enjoyed by either gender or everyone in between.

IRIS is also rechargeable, so a big hurray for that! A three-hour wall charge gives it up to five hours of power. Mmmm! And because it’s fully charged at the factory, you can start playing with the IRIS immediately. Extra points for that!

(By the way, I’m trying to be as responsible as I can with my motorized toys. Whenever possible I choose rechargeable. When that’s not and option I always use rechargeable batteries. To do less is a both expensive and decidedly un-GREEN.)

The insertable part of IRIS is made of firm high-grade silicone molded into a stylized (slightly curved) flower bud shape. Very appealing! I like a little texture to my dildos, so this is perfect for me. And get this; there two separate motors in this baby — one in the shaft and one in the tip. These can be controlled separately or together.

Despite the two motors, the level of vibration can’t compare to a couple of other vibes I own. That actually surprised me, because I was expecting the IRIS to jump out of my hand on the high speed. The sensations are pleasant enough, and I could easily distinguish between the vibrations produced in the shaft as opposed to those produced in the tip. Just don’t expect it to knock your socks off. The motors, however, are very quiet; a feature that is very important to me. I hate it when a vibe sounds like a lawnmower.

You’ll probably want to use lube with IRIS, because she’s thicker than a lot of toys. Be sure you use only a water-based lube on a beautiful silicone pleasure object like this. Using a silicone-based lube will destroy IRIS. Because of it’s length, the pleasure is deep as well as full.

The control button is lighted and it allows me to increase the intensity of vibrations as well as cycle through the five pulsation modes. However, the controls in the handle aren’t particularly easy to adjust with lubed fingers. This can be pretty frustrating.”

Full review HERE!

Next, Glenn & Hank show us BO

LELO BO $79.00

Glenn & Hank

Hank: “This is the fanciest cockring I ever did see!”
Glenn: “Pretty damned expensive too.”
Hank: “Yeah, but hardly the most expensive one I own. That honor goes to my Silver Tongue Cock Ring.”
Glenn: “Yeah, but that one doesn’t vibrate like
BO does. And the BO is rechargeable; so you can’t beat that!”
Hank: “LELO calls
BO a gentleman’s pleasure object. I call it a vibrating cockring. I mean, please!”
Glenn: “Ya got no class, Hank! I like the pleasure object concept; it’s so elegant.”
Hank: “You weren’t thinking about elegant the other day when I had my cock buried up to the hilt in your bung and the
BO was shiverin’ your ass lips.”
Glenn: “True! I was thinking; ‘Oh sweet mystery of life at last I found you!’”
Hank: “You are such a freak!”
Glenn: “Well when it comes to my hole, you know I am.”
Hank: “Let’s get back to the review, shall we?
BO actually has two parts — the ring itself and the vibrating attachment. The ring is made of a soft, flexible material. The small print on the LELO site says this material is Thermoplastic elastomers (TPE). Will this be an issue for someone who has an allergy to rubber or latex-based products? It beats the hell out of me.
The vibrating attachment is encased in a sturdy plastic material. Sliding the attachment onto the ring activates the vibe. There is no on/off switch.”
Glenn: “I thought that part was odd. Why there’s no on/off switch is like totally beyond me. Because it’s not so easy sliding the vibe attachment onto, or off of the ring. So once ya have the ring on your johnson, it’ll be thrilling the wearer till he takes it off.”
Hank: “I tried
BO first in a little solo JO session. I was happy to discover that the relatively modestly sized ring stretched to fit my dick. Then I had Glenn give me some head while I was wearing BO. That was pretty mind blowing.”
Glenn: “My husband has got a really big one, ladies and gentleman! And I have no gag reflex!”

Full review HERE!


ENJOY!

Mixed Bag

Today we have several more products from Synergy Erotic.  We reviewed a bunch of their products back in January — Vibe-Me Massager, Squirmy Touch-Me and Luscious Thrill-Her

This week’s Review Crew:  Jack & Karen, Angie and Joy & Dixie

Angie has a bunny vibe to show us.
Elite Silicone Supple Bunny Lavender $54.45

Angie
There are a lot of things I really like about this 8 1/2 inch silicone bunny vibe. First and foremost, it’s silicone. Second, it’s waterproof. It’s modestly priced and it is attractive.

When I shop for a vibe for myself, I pretty much always choose silicone. And since I more often than not use the vibe in the tub, waterproof is at the top of my list of “must-haves”.

Bath time is my private time. And as often as possible I leisurely soak away the day’s tensions while my husband is busy preparing dinner in the kitchen. I know, I am so lucky and he’s such a treasure. I help myself to a glass of wine, fill the tub with a bubble bath and climb in. It is about the most hedonistic think I can think of, but it also keeps me sane.

See the full review HERE!

Jack and Karen have a couple of vibes to report on.
Perfect Touch Satisfy-Her, Luster Black $19.99

Jack & Karen
Karen: “I love the design of the Perfect Touch Satisfy-Her. It’s shiny, it’s sleek, and I even liked the hard plastic. Sometimes I’m in the mood for something hard, if ya know what I mean. Unfortunately, I can’t say much for its performance.”
Jack: “It’s waterproof; you got to give it that.”
Karen: “Yes, that’s what it says. It’s also supposed to have a 5-speed vibrator that is controlled by a single button in the handle. I installed 2 AAA batteries (I had to use my own, because no batteries were included in the package).
Nothing I did make the vibe go through its paces. Pushing the button once got it going all right; nice vibration too. Pushing it again stopped the blasted thing. Pushing it a third time started it up again, but I couldn’t tell if it had changed speeds. I kept pushing the button never getting the same results twice. What, is this rocket science?”

See the full review HERE!

Wavy Touch Me Penis Pink $16.15

Jack & Karen
Jack: “This must not have been our week! After our less than happy experience with the Perfect Touch Satisfy-Her, we turned our hopes and expectations to the Wavy Touch Me.”
Karen: “DISAPPOINTED!”
Jack: “Here we have an 8 1/2 inch textured (wavy) dildo with what they call an Ultra-Gelle skin. Because of the articulated plastic spine beneath the skin, the dildo bends and then holds its shape. So far, so good.”
Karen: “We remember Glenn and Hank’s review of a similar product (HERE) and we were totally looking forward to our little adventure. The bending capability really appealed to me. I love G-spot stimulation and I thought this would deliver.”
Jack: “We never got beyond installing the 2 AA batteries. (Again, no batteries were included in the package.) Once the batteries were in place, I tightened the cap on the battery compartment and pushed the button on the base of the vibe to activate the blasted thing. NOTHING!”
Karen: “I said; ‘you’ve got to be kidding! Maybe you have the batteries in wrong.’”

See the full review HERE!

Joy and Dixie have two bullet vibes to tell you about.

Excite-Her Silver Bullet, Luster Pink $11.99

Joy & Dixie
Dixie: “We have some good news and some bad news.”
Joy: “We had two bullet vibes to test — Excite-Her Silver Bullet and Perfect Touch Excite-Her Mega Silver Bullet. One was great, the other…not so much.”
Dixie: “First the good news. The Excite-Her Silver Bullet was very nice. It has two speeds; a single button control mechanism, which worked just fine; and it’s waterproof. What’s not to like, right?”
Joy: “It’s an oversized bullet that really delivers the vibration. You can use it externally, or internally — vaginally or anally. Although, I must say, I don’t know if I trust the wire that attaches to the bullet to withstand a tug past a tight anal sphincter. So you’re will want to take care in that respect, because the bullet will insert easily enough. It’s the getting it out that might be a problem.”
Dixie: “And I want to point out that the bullet itself is the only thing that is waterproof. The hand-held controller/battery case is definitely not waterproof.”

See the full review HERE!

Perfect Touch Excite-Her Mega Silver Bullet $13.99

Joy & Dixie
Dixie: “Now for the bad news.”
Joy: “As you know, we had these two bullet vibes to test — Excite-Her Silver Bullet and Perfect Touch Excite-Her Mega Silver Bullet. One was great, the other…not so much.”
Dixie: “We liked the Excite-Her Silver Bullet, it was very nice.”
Joy: “The Perfect Touch Excite-Her Mega Silver Bullet is another story. It too is an oversized bullet vibe, bigger even than the Excite-Her. I loved the size of the bullet; the bigger the better for my vaginal insertions, thank you very much!”
Dixie: “And like it’s smaller sibling, this vibe is also waterproof. But again I want to point out that the bullet itself is the only thing that is waterproof. The hand-held controller/battery case is definitely not waterproof.”
Joy: “And that gets us to the problem with this vibe. The power-pack sucks, and not in a good way.”
Dixie: “Yeppers, Joy’s right. I mean the concept is a good one — it has a varying speed dial on the side of the hand-held power-pack that is supposed to adjust the vibe speed incrementally, like a rheostat on a light switch.”

See the full review HERE!

ENJOY!

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