Category Archives: Sexuality / Sensuality

Ready Or Not

Name: Allie
Gender: Female
Age: 18
I feel kinda silly asking a complete stranger this, but here goes. I’m a pretty normal 18year old female. I’m in my freshman year at a college in upstate New York. I’ve had a few boyfriends over the years, nothing really serious though. Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of this one guy; he’s 20, a junior at my school. I really like him and we’re discussing taking our friendship to the next level. He’s not pressuring me for sex or anything, even though he’s more experienced than I am. In fact he wants me decide when the time is right. My question is how will I know when I’m ready for sex. Obviously, Jason will be my first. Thanks.

Thanks for entrusting me, a complete stranger, with this very intimate concern. I have a question for you, Allie, and I hope it doesn’t sound flippant. When do you know it’s time to eat, or sleep? I know lots of us eat even when we’re not hungry and don’t sleep even when we’re tired, but that aside, I suggest that the same body signals that alert you to hunger and exhaustion will let you know when it’s time for sex. You’ll want to have sex when you feel the desire to be sexual. I’m not trying to be evasive; I’m trying to get you to listen to your body, because that’s how you’ll know. To be perfectly frank, that’s how all of us know it’s time for sex. We get a hankerin’ for some pleasure and we pursue that until, hopefully, we’re satisfied.

teen sex anxietyYou’ll notice that I’m not specifically referencing fucking when I say you’ll know when it’s time for sex. Sex, at lest in my book, involves a whole lot more than the old in and out, don’t cha know. Take a look at the sexual enrichment tutorial I posted just last week. It’s titled: Beginning Sex Play — Tips and Techniques. http://www.drdicksexadvice.com/2014/02/26/sex-play-tips-and-techniques/

If I were to advise you further I’d want to know how much sex you’ve already had with Jason. Has there been any sex play at all? Probably some, huh? Otherwise how would you know you like him well enough to consider taking the play to the next level?

Penis/vagina intercourse, or as I like to call it “fucking” can bring more intimacy and more pleasure than some other sex play, but it’s not the be all and end all either. Fucking also carries a lot it more responsibility, particularly for fertile young puppies like you and Jason.intimacy021

You sound like an intelligent lass, at least you can write in complete sentences. Is it safe to assume that you are well versed in the complexities of the human reproductive system? I hope so. Not everyone is, of course, even some otherwise smart young people. If you’re not clear on the whole concept, there’s no time like the present to do a little boning up…so to speak. Being responsible with your sex is as important as being sexual. And being informed about health risks and contraception is the beginning of taking responsibility for your sexual activity.

Every sexually active young woman is subject to becoming pregnant every time she accepts a cock in her cooch. I’m not a woman, nor do I play one on the internets, but I’ve been around more than my share of the fairer sex, and I am certain that every woman who fucks for the first time will wonder if she is pregnant the next morning. I suppose the same is true for any sexually active woman of childbearing age, even those who are very knowledgeable about birth control and are prepared for sex when it presents itself. Seems to me that that kind of apprehension or concern could easily put a dent in pleasure.

makin' babiesRemember what I said a little earlier; that you’ll want to have sex when you feel the desire to be sexual? Well, if you take the time to prepare now, you won’t need to interrupt the sexually charged moment when your body tells you I want some of that hot monkey love. You should choose the birth control method that suits you best. You should have condoms and lube available. Don’t expect your beau to have his wits about him when his dick is hard. While Jason does sound like a swell guy, conscientious too, you’re the one who will get pregnant if ya’ll screw up. And I’ll bet ol’ Jason will be impressed with your forethought too. There’s nothing like gettin’ it on with a chick who knows the score, even if it is her first time.

Remember, even if you’re on the pill or have a diaphragm, condoms are a must. One of every ten sexually active teens carries one or more STDs or as we call them nowadays, SDI (sexually transmitted infections). You can consider dropping the condoms when you’re in an exclusive relationship.

Finally, you may be ready for sexual release — i.e. an orgasm, and I hope you’re already enjoying an abundance of those little buggers through jilling off — but that does not mean you are ready for, need, or even want full-on fucking. But when you do and you get that hankerin’, feed it. It will be as natural as falling off a log.

Good luck

Awakening Your Sensual Self Post Cancer

Name: Doug
Gender: Male
Age: 58
Location: San Diego
HI: I need some help. I had my prostate removed due to prostate cancer. I feel I have lost my man-hood. I don’t experience hard-ons anymore. My penis is dead. Can you recommend something to help me?

It’s truly uncanny; in the past week alone I’ve received similar email from four different people. Each had a very different presenting problem, but all were experiencing very similar sexual issues. Get this, I heard from a woman in Japan who is recovering from a radical mastectomy. I heard from a guy in San Francisco who is recovering from a serious meth addiction. A young wife and mother in North Carolina whose husband, and father of her two kids, has returned from Iraq a basket case…and now you, Doug.prostatecancer_600x450

Its astonishing that, despite the dramatic differences in each of your life stories, all of you report pretty much same thing — you feel less than whole, disconnected from your sexuality and devoid of any real intimacy or meaningful sexual outlet. It is so amazing how, despite our unique individual difficulties, there are often a universal response to life’s troubling complexities.

Regaining a sense of your sexual-self after prostate surgery, or any of the other problems I mentioned above, is an arduous, but rewarding task. With your self-confidence in the toilet and zero libido to boot, I suggest that you begin your rehabilitation by connecting with others similarly challenged as you. In your case, it will probably be other cancer survivors. More likely than not, they will be a whole lot more sympathetic to your issues and attuned to your predicament. Sometimes, people who have yet to experience a life threatening disease or a disfiguring surgery don’t have a clue about how to interact with those that have. It’s not their fault, it’s just the way things are.

I suggest looking into a support group, if you haven’t done so already. Once you make that connection, you will find, that you are not alone. Other people similarly challenged as you are experiencing many of very same things you are. And to my mind, it’s way much easier to face and handle life’s difficulties when surrounded and supported by others.

AGDD_front coverOne word of caution; my experience is that many disease-based programs and support groups shy away from intimacy concerns. This is a real tragedy, because this is the one aspect of healing that consistently remains unaddressed by the medical profession. That is way I included an entire chapter about the intimacy and sexual needs of chronically ill, elder and dying people in my book — The Amateur’s Guide To Death and Dying; Enhancing the End of Life. I encourage you to check out the book; it’s loaded with amazing sex-positive information.

Next I suggest that you first try connecting with people on a sensual level as opposed to a sexual level. I firmly believe in massage as the best say to accomplish this. Think about it. Imagine the good you’ll be able to do for others, as well as yourself with therapeutic touch. And, to my mind, therapeutic touch also includes sensual touch. It will soothe so much more than the jangled nerves and disrupted muscle tissue caused by radical invasive surgery. It gives the one doing the touch a renewed sense of him/herself a pleasure giver, which is totally important to us all. And when you receive the touch, it will begin to reawaken sensory perceptions you thought were lost for good. And your libido as well as your erection will bloom again. I promise. Here’s a tip: to keep that stiffy goin, I encourage you to use a cockring.

Now if you feel your massage skills aren’t up to par, why not take a class or workshop in massage. You might want to look to something like the Body Electric School Of Massage. They have load of training options. And learning is a hands-on experience. What could be more liberating than that?

If a class is a bit too intimidating at first, you might consider purchasing a book on massage. A great primer is: Male Erotic Massage by Ray Stubbs, Ph.D.  This is a holistic approach to bodywork, including the sexual and the spiritual aspects of Male Erotic Massage. There are over 200 photographs in this volume that reveal both massage techniques and the beauty of the male body embracing the male body. The strength, the joy, the gentleness, the ardor, the tenderness, the equanimity, the pleasure — they are all included.

Another title is: Erotic Massage, The Touch of Love also by Ray Stubbs, Ph.D.  This is a more inclusive volume of erotic massage. It describes long, flowing strokes for the whole body, including female and male genitals. By the way, this was the very first massage book to explicitly illustrate genital massage. The techniques described are simple and easy to perform. It’s superbly illustrated, and the text is both tender and playful.Massage

Finally, your gift of massage is the ideal way to connect with another human, be it a friend, a family member, lover, or even a stranger. Your touch can be either seductive or non-seductive, or maybe a little of both. You can count on this purposefully touching to open new doors. You’ll discover new pleasures, both subtle and profound, as you give as well as receive touch.

I encourage you to push beyond the isolation I know you are feeling, Doug. Purposeful touching, like massage, will change your perceptions about sex, sensuality, and intimacy. And like I said, it will also resurrect your boner. I know this can happen. I’ve seen it happen. Doug, now it’s your turn to make it happen!

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Purely Sensual

Hey sex fans,

I have a swell, and oh so special, Product Review Friday for ya. Today is a twofer, don’t cha know. We’re experiencing a bit of a backlog in our reviews and while generally I post only one review a week, today we have two. One product comes to us from a new company joining our review effort for the first time. The other product comes to us from a good friend and stalwart in the industry. Please join me in welcoming Intimate Organics and welcoming back LELO.

These reviews are brought to you by Dr Dick Review Crew members Brad and Jada.

Intimate Organics Adventure – anal relaxing spray — $17.78

Brad
Hey everyone, I’m here to tell you about Intimate Organics Adventure. It’s an anal relaxing spray. Curiously enough this product is marketed exclusively to women. But ya know what? Men have assholes too. And Intimate Organics Adventure is equally effective on a dude’s bunghole as it is on a chick’s.

When I haven’t bottomed for a while, and I’m talking about either diddling myself with a dildo while I beat off or having my GF peg me, I want to ease into the experience. Gettin bum-fucked is a kick when it is worry free. So anything I can use to take the edge off is a big plus in my book.

Ok, after saying that I just realized that didn’t come out right. I don’t want to suggest that “anything” that takes the edge off is good. The reason I’m correcting myself is that I have tried other anal relaxers. Actually they were anal anesthesizers and that was the problem. Some of the products I tried in the past used benzocaine and it numbed the shit out of my hole. This was way over-kill and it was also dangerous. If I couldn’t feel what was going on down there I couldn’t tell if I was about to injure myself, nor could I be any help to my partner with the strap-on. So no more of that stuff for me!

Intimate Organics Adventure is different. Their herbal-based spray does not numb, because it doesn’t contain any anesthetic elements. Their unique formula contains a certified organic extract blend with the natural potency of clove, goji berry, aloe and lemongrass. It’s great. My GF, Kitty, thinks so too. Once she saw how much I enjoyed my butt she decided to give up her ass too.

I’m certain that the Intimate Organics Adventure was a big part of her decision to try anal. This chick is super fussy about what she puts in and on her bod. The fact that this product is organic really impressed her. The lady-friendly packaging didn’t hurt the effort either.

Intimate Organics Adventure is a spray, I already mentioned that, and it’s the consistency of a light lube. But ya gotta know that this product does not replace the need for a high-quality lube. When it come to anal penetration of any kind, you’re gonna want to use lots more lube than a couple of spritzes of this product. only thing ya got to remember is ya have to wait about 10 minutes after applying the Intimate Organics Adventure before applying the additional lube. This product is also latex and condom friendly.
Full Review HERE!

LELO Flickering Touch Massage Candle —— $29.15

Jada
I’m a sucker for scented candles. I have them all over the house. I once took a class in aromatherapy and I learned a lot about how essential oils, and other aromatic compounds can alter a person’s mind, mood, cognitive function or health.

So when Dr Dick offered me the Flickering Touch Massage Candle to review I knew I was in for a treat. I am very fond of my LELO pleasure objects. I reviewed The SORAYA way back in January and was so impressed that I’ve picked up two others LELO vibes since. One I gave as a gift.  I know, how generous!

The Flickering Touch Massage Candle did not disappoint. It lives up to the LELO name in every way. Lets start with the packaging. It came in a simply elegant black box, with mauve and black accents. And all the packaging is biodegradable. The candle itself comes in a gorgeous black glass container with a designer silver lid. It dresses up anywhere you put it.

I received the Vanilla & Crème De Cacao candle, but there are two other candles in the LELO line — Black Pepper & Pomegranate and Snow Pear & Cedarwood. (Please Mr LELO, send us others to review!)

The candle is made from natural soy wax, shea butter and apricot oil. And because it is a massage candle as well as aromatherapy, when you dab it on your skin, or your lover’s skin, the effect is outstanding. It absorbs nicely, like a fine body oil should. And it leaves your skin delectably smooth and lightly fragranced.

If you are into sensual massages and romantic play the Flickering Touch Massage Candle is just the thing for you. My husband and I went to the San Juan Islands for an amorous weekend get away for our anniversary last month. I made certain that the Flickering Touch Massage Candle would accompany us. My husband liked the scent too. He’s sometimes critical of my aromas, because he claims some are too sweet or feminine. But he liked the Vanilla & Crème De Cacao just fine.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

Kypris and Steven Jay, Part 2 — Podcast #53 — 03/03/08

Hey sex fans,
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For this week’s podcast we continue with our new interview format. I am pleased to bring you Part 2 of my interview with two masters in the practice of Tantric Sex, Kypris and Steven Jay. They are the founders of YabYummy.com, an online resource for people seeking a tantric path to sexual wholeness.

They share their thoughts about:

  • Sexuality vs. Sensuality
  • Sexual Inhibitions
  • Charkas
  • How to begin a tantric practice

BE THERE, OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s dr dick’s toll free podcast voicemail. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question? No time to write? Give dr dick a call at (866) 422-5680. Again, the TOLL FREE voicemail number is (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY !

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the health section under the subheading — Sexuality. Or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice With An Edge. And don’t forget to subscribe. I don’t want you to miss even one episode.

Say, would you like to become a sponsor for one or more of my weekly sex advice podcasts? As you know, I plug a product or service at the beginning and end of each show. Each podcast has its own posting on my site along with the name of the podcast sponsor and a banner for the product or service.

The beauty part about this unique opportunity is that once a sponsor’s ad is included in a particular podcast that sponsor is embedded there forever.

Your sponsorship also underscores your social conscience. Your marketing dollars will not only got to promote your product, but you will be doing so while helping to disseminate badly needed sex education and sexual enrichment messages. Simply put, ya just can’t get a better bang for your advertising buck!

For further information, contact me at: dr_dick@drdicksexadvice.com

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s How To Video Library.

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