Gettin’ and Stayin’ Clean

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Name: Augustt
Gender: Male
Age: 52
Location: San Francisco
Hey Doc,
I have been clean from meth for just over 6 years but was a hard-core user (injecting) from 1995 until March of 2002. Since then I have no sex drive and low self-confidence since my usage brought me to having Tardive Dyskinesia. What can I do to bring back my sex drive?

[Y]ep, seven years of slammin’ crystal will seriously fuck ya up, no doubt about it. I heartily commend you on gettin’ and stayin’ clean. CONGRATULATIONS! I know for certain that ain’t easy.

You are right to say that the residual effects of years of meth use can devastate a person’s sexual response cycle. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons people take as long as they do to rid themselves of this poison. While they are using, they are oblivious to the effects meth is having on their sexual expression.

Before we go any further, we’d better define Tardive dyskinesia for our audience. It is a condition characterized by repetitive, involuntary, movements. It’s like having a tic, but much worse. It can include grimacing, rapid eye blinking, rapid arm and leg movements. In other words, people with this condition have difficulty staying still. These symptoms may also induce a pronounced psychological anxiety that can be worse than the uncontrollable jerky movements.

That being said, there is hope for you, Augustt. Regaining a sense of sexual-self post addiction is an arduous, but rewarding task. With your self-confidence in the toilet and zero libido, I suggest that you connect with others in recovery. They will probably be a whole lot more sympathetic to your travail than others.

Try connecting with people on a sensual level as opposed to a sexual level. I am a firm believer in massage and bodywork for this. If needs be, take a class or workshop in massage. Look for the Body Electric School Of Massage. They have load of options. He has created over 100 sex education films, most of which are available at his online schools: www.eroticmassage.com and www.orgasmicyoga.com.

You will be impressed with the good you’ll be able to do for others in recovery as well as yourself. Therapeutic touch — and in my book that also includes sensual touch — soothes so much more than the jangled nerves ravaged by drug and alcohol abuse. It gives the one doing the touch a renewed sense of him/herself a pleasure giver. The person receiving the touch will begin to reawaken sensory perceptions once thought lost.

I encourage you to push beyond the isolation I know you are feeling. Purposeful touching, like massage and bodywork will also, in time help take the edge off your Tardive dyskinesia. I know this can happen. I’ve seen it happen. Augustt, make it happen!

Good luck.

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A Story With A Happy Ending

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Name: Nathan
Gender: Male
Age: 37
Location: Dallas
I’m a married guy with a great wife and 3 beautiful kids. A couple of weeks ago, I went to a masseuse I found on Craigslist. I don’t have a lot of experience with massage and thought I would be safe going to a guy instead of a woman. The guy was really nice and did a good massage, but somehow I popped wood near the end of the massage. I was really embarrassed, but he was like totally ok with that. Then he asked if I wanted a happy ending. I didn’t even know what that was till he started to massage my ass and blow me. I have to admit it was totally amazing. I never felt anything like it before in my life. My wife sometimes will give me oral sex, but nothing like this. I blew a load like nothing I ever did before. I though my insides were coming out of my cock. I was amazed and scared and confused and I could hardly sit up. Then the guy said I had a real healthy prostate. I said, WHAT? And he said he was massaging my prostate while he was sucking me off. I can’t stop thinking about this. I want more but I feel really guilty and I’m afraid this is going to make me gay.

What a great story, Nathan. But we need to clear up a few things. A masseuse is a female practitioner of massage. A masseur is a male practitioner. This is a common enough mistake, but I thought you should know the proper usage for further reference. Because you can see how a little unintended slip like this will make all the difference in the world. If you say a masseuse gave you a blowjob that’s totally different from getting a blowjob from a masseur, don’t ‘cha know.massage_butt.jpg

I’m gonna also guess you never had a prostate massage before this encounter with the masseur. A prostate massage coupled with your first blowjob from a guy…hell, you are lucky your insides didn’t shoot out your dick along with your spooge. I’m joking of course, but it does stand to reason that you had such an intense and explosive orgasm and ejaculation. That’s precisely what a prostate massage does, honey.

Now, let’s see if we can figure out why you can’t stop thinking about this. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to analyze that either. This was a peak sexual experience for you. I mean, beside the mind-blowing release, the means by which you had this orgasm — the guy’s finger in your ass and the guy’s mouth on your dick were both unexpected and apparently unprecedented. So I figure you had very little time to cognitively respond to the stimuli before things came to their explosive climax, so to speak, as it were. And you did say you were already relaxed and aroused by the massage, right?

I’d be willing to bet that if you had some emotional distance from the experience you would realize your body was simply responding to the stimulus it was receiving. Your dick and your prostate weren’t able to distinguish the gender of the person diddlin’ your ass and suckin’ your dick. And since your brain was occupied with all these new sensations you had little time, if any to process and possibly protest. And maybe you wouldn’t have protested even if you could. Maybe you wanted to take this little walk on the wild side. Trust me, lots of guys do.

come as you areNow that the event has passed, you have plenty of time to process. And process you are…to within an inch of its life…if ya ask me. This experience looms so large for you because it is forbidden fruit, so to speak. It upsets the apple cart of your cozy and predictable heterosexuality. I mean it’s one thing to pop wood on a massage table. It’s something totally different to blow a wad while a guy is givin’ you head.

And now that you have all this time on your hands to keep pouring over and over this in you head, the event has taken on a proportion it probably wouldn’t have otherwise.

Let me put your mind to rest, one blowjob from a guy…even an earth-shatterin, prostate-massagin’ blowjob, like the kind you got from this fabulous masseur…won’t make you gay. Nor does wanting to repeat the experience make you gay. All this experience really tells us is that you like a good blowjob and you now know where to get a really fantastic one when next you want one.

Think about it this way. Say you went to a Chinese restaurant and, to your great surprise, had the best dim sum ever. You were so impressed with the food that you’ve been eager to return to this particular eatery for another go at those tasty vittles. Does this desire for yummy dim sum make you Chinese? I don’t think so…that is unless you were Chinese before you went to the restaurant.

Finally, the guilt you’re experiencing, where might that be coming from? There are so many sources one would be hard-pressed to come up with an exhaustive list. But let’s look at the top contenders.hands & butt

  • You’re married with a family. You had a sexual experience…unplanned as it might have been…with someone other than your wife. BINGO!
  • Our culture’s buttoned-down sex and gender stereotypes — who can do what to whom. BINGO!
  • The dictates of our sex-negative society about what is proper and what is not in terms of sexual exploration and experimentation. BINGO!
  • The shame of possibly being labeled a fag. BINGO!
  • The fear of your own desires and where they might lead you. BINGO!
  • The allure of the forbidden and the explosive charge the illicit. BINGO.

The experience you had with that masseur, Nathan, is so highly charged, both culturally and sexually, that it will take some while for you to find your balance once again. In the interim, my I suggest that you postpone any judgments about yourself or what the incident might imply about you until you’ve have some emotional distance and the time to calmly process all of this. In the final analysis, I think you’ll come to the conclusion that this is a relatively harmless sexual outlet. The masseur is providing you a service…I mean beyond the obvious. He is providing you a safe, secure non-judgmental environment to exercise and expand your sexual repertoire. Think of it like a place you go to learn about the wonders of sexual dim sum.

Good luck

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Whoa, Big Fella!

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Hey sex fans!

Welcome to this our latest edition of Product Review Friday. Today we welcome yet another innovative company to our review effort. Join me in saying hello to the Canadian company, BodiSpa. You’ll be seeing several more products from them in coming weeks, but today Dr Dick Review Crew members, Kevin & Gina are here with our first review.

Let’s go see what they’re up to, shall we?

The Almighty —— $169.95

Kevin & Gina
Gina: “Here’s a little known fact: I’m a massage therapist. Actually, I’ve been practicing massage and bodywork for over five years, it’s just that I haven’t identified myself as such in this venue.”Almighty2
Kevin: “I tell you this woman has the most talented hands! I have been on the receiving end of her miraculous touch for years now. I am like putty in her hands.”
Gina: “Oh, that’s so sweet! Thank you for that. I am super proud of my talent and, this might come as a surprise, I have my grandmother to thank for this gift. My mother suffered from migraine headaches and my grandmother was able to relieve most of her suffering with head and neck massages. She taught me the power of therapeutic touch.”
Kevin: “It’s amazing to think that this healing talent is locked up in all of us. Gina has been kind enough to pass on some of her techniques to me and now I can make a cuddle session on the couch a way of relieving her stress.”
Gina: “He’s awesome! But wait, we’re not here to talk about my skill set, we’re here to introduce you to a truly amazing instrument of pleasure and therapy. This giant is called Almighty. And it is aptly named too. I say giant, because this wand-type, hot/cold massager is a whopping 16.5” tall. Its ergonomically shaped head is 4” wide and it weighs in at almost 3 pounds. It’s a monster with a long, cordless handle.”
Kevin: “The Almighty is not a toy, nor is it specifically for sex. In fact, I had to check with Dr Dick about this. ‘How did you score this thing? It’s not really a sex toy, now is it?’ He assured me that the BodiSpa people knew we did sex toy reviews and they wanted to have our take on it.”
Gina: “As soon as I held the Almighty in my hands for the first time, I knew it was something special. I immediately knew that I would be able to incorporate the Almighty into my massage practice. It’s that good. Why, this vibrator is so strong that you can use it through clothing, which is wonderful, because some of my clients come to me only for a neck and shoulder massage and they don’t get undressed for it.”
Kevin: “There are so many wonderful features to the Almighty. It is made of ABS, a super durable plastic, which is phthalate free. It is beautifully designed to last. Gina mentioned earlier that it is cordless. In other words, it’s rechargeable.”almighty
Gina: “The thing that won my heart is the Almighty not only delivers two speeds of deep and penetrating vibrations, it also heats up or cools down depending on your preference. You see, there is a metal plate in the head of the massager and this is what delivers the heat and cooling. This feature further extends the therapeutic nature of the vibrations. Think about it, 104-122 degrees Fahrenheit of warmth to relieve arthritis and other joint and muscle pain. And 50-59 degrees Fahrenheit of chilling power to reduce muscle spasms and swelling. Both the vibration speed and the hot/cold intensity are regulated with easy-to-use dials in the handle.”
Kevin: “Speaking of swelling, and since this is sex toy review, the Almighty is brilliant at making my cock swell and my balls tingle, as well as making Gina’s pussy tingle and her clit engorge. So there’s that.”
Gina: “Thank you for adding that. I don’t want our readers thinking this whopper is an all work and no play massager. You know how we often talk about hot/cold sensation play using some of our glass or metal toys? Well the Almighty has that feature built in AND it vibrates. It’s the best of both worlds. And just so you know, this vibe is super-powerful. I can place the head of the Almighty on my spine, between my shoulder blades and it will deliver vibration so deep and heavy that my teeth chatter. That’s powerful!”
Kevin: “Although the Almighty isn’t waterproof, it is still easy to sanitize after each use. Simply wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with mild soap and warm water. Then wipe it down again with another lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.”
Gina: “The Almighty gets my highest rating. Sure the $170 price tag is a lot, but consider all the fantastic features you are getting all rolled into one product. I mean you can easily spend nearly that much on a high-end vibe that is neither as powerful or as versatile.”
Read Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

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Awakening Your Sensual Self Post Cancer

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Name: Doug
Gender: Male
Age: 58
Location: San Diego
HI: I need some help. I had my prostate removed due to prostate cancer. I feel I have lost my man-hood. I don’t experience hard-ons anymore. My penis is dead. Can you recommend something to help me?

It’s truly uncanny; in the past week alone I’ve received similar email from four different people. Each had a very different presenting problem, but all were experiencing very similar sexual issues. Get this, I heard from a woman in Japan who is recovering from a radical mastectomy. I heard from a guy in San Francisco who is recovering from a serious meth addiction. A young wife and mother in North Carolina whose husband, and father of her two kids, has returned from Iraq a basket case…and now you, Doug.prostatecancer_600x450

Its astonishing that, despite the dramatic differences in each of your life stories, all of you report pretty much same thing — you feel less than whole, disconnected from your sexuality and devoid of any real intimacy or meaningful sexual outlet. It is so amazing how, despite our unique individual difficulties, there are often a universal response to life’s troubling complexities.

Regaining a sense of your sexual-self after prostate surgery, or any of the other problems I mentioned above, is an arduous, but rewarding task. With your self-confidence in the toilet and zero libido to boot, I suggest that you begin your rehabilitation by connecting with others similarly challenged as you. In your case, it will probably be other cancer survivors. More likely than not, they will be a whole lot more sympathetic to your issues and attuned to your predicament. Sometimes, people who have yet to experience a life threatening disease or a disfiguring surgery don’t have a clue about how to interact with those that have. It’s not their fault, it’s just the way things are.

I suggest looking into a support group, if you haven’t done so already. Once you make that connection, you will find, that you are not alone. Other people similarly challenged as you are experiencing many of very same things you are. And to my mind, it’s way much easier to face and handle life’s difficulties when surrounded and supported by others.

AGDD_front coverOne word of caution; my experience is that many disease-based programs and support groups shy away from intimacy concerns. This is a real tragedy, because this is the one aspect of healing that consistently remains unaddressed by the medical profession. That is way I included an entire chapter about the intimacy and sexual needs of chronically ill, elder and dying people in my book — The Amateur’s Guide To Death and Dying; Enhancing the End of Life. I encourage you to check out the book; it’s loaded with amazing sex-positive information.

Next I suggest that you first try connecting with people on a sensual level as opposed to a sexual level. I firmly believe in massage as the best say to accomplish this. Think about it. Imagine the good you’ll be able to do for others, as well as yourself with therapeutic touch. And, to my mind, therapeutic touch also includes sensual touch. It will soothe so much more than the jangled nerves and disrupted muscle tissue caused by radical invasive surgery. It gives the one doing the touch a renewed sense of him/herself a pleasure giver, which is totally important to us all. And when you receive the touch, it will begin to reawaken sensory perceptions you thought were lost for good. And your libido as well as your erection will bloom again. I promise. Here’s a tip: to keep that stiffy goin, I encourage you to use a cockring.

Now if you feel your massage skills aren’t up to par, why not take a class or workshop in massage. You might want to look to something like the Body Electric School Of Massage. They have load of training options. And learning is a hands-on experience. What could be more liberating than that?

If a class is a bit too intimidating at first, you might consider purchasing a book on massage. A great primer is: Male Erotic Massage by Ray Stubbs, Ph.D.  This is a holistic approach to bodywork, including the sexual and the spiritual aspects of Male Erotic Massage. There are over 200 photographs in this volume that reveal both massage techniques and the beauty of the male body embracing the male body. The strength, the joy, the gentleness, the ardor, the tenderness, the equanimity, the pleasure — they are all included.

Another title is: Erotic Massage, The Touch of Love also by Ray Stubbs, Ph.D.  This is a more inclusive volume of erotic massage. It describes long, flowing strokes for the whole body, including female and male genitals. By the way, this was the very first massage book to explicitly illustrate genital massage. The techniques described are simple and easy to perform. It’s superbly illustrated, and the text is both tender and playful.Massage

Finally, your gift of massage is the ideal way to connect with another human, be it a friend, a family member, lover, or even a stranger. Your touch can be either seductive or non-seductive, or maybe a little of both. You can count on this purposefully touching to open new doors. You’ll discover new pleasures, both subtle and profound, as you give as well as receive touch.

I encourage you to push beyond the isolation I know you are feeling, Doug. Purposeful touching, like massage, will change your perceptions about sex, sensuality, and intimacy. And like I said, it will also resurrect your boner. I know this can happen. I’ve seen it happen. Doug, now it’s your turn to make it happen!

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

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SEX WISDOM With Celeste Hirschman and Danielle Harel — Podcast #307 — 11/02/11

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[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hello sex fans! Welcome back.

I got a totally kick ass show in store for you today, my friends. I’m so stoked to welcome not one, but two very special guests to this SEX WISDOM program. Celeste Hirschman and Danielle Harel are fellow sexologists, acclaimed authors, innovative therapists and all-round fabulous people. I am so proud to share a microphone with these remarkable women.

Celeste and Danielle developed their own very unique approach to sex therapy. They are indeed among the movers and shakers in the field of human sexuality who are making news and helping us take a fresh look at our sexual selves.

Celeste, Danielle and I discuss:

Celeste and Danielle invite you to visit them on their site HERE! Look for their amazing blog HERE! Find them on Facebook HERE and Twitter HERE!

(Click on the book cover below to buy their book.)

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Hot Plus Size Lingerie.
Plus Size Lingerie

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Purely Sensual

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Hey sex fans,

I have a swell, and oh so special, Product Review Friday for ya. Today is a twofer, don’t cha know. We’re experiencing a bit of a backlog in our reviews and while generally I post only one review a week, today we have two. One product comes to us from a new company joining our review effort for the first time. The other product comes to us from a good friend and stalwart in the industry. Please join me in welcoming Intimate Organics and welcoming back LELO.

These reviews are brought to you by Dr Dick Review Crew members Brad and Jada.

Intimate Organics Adventure – anal relaxing spray — $17.78

Brad
Hey everyone, I’m here to tell you about Intimate Organics Adventure. It’s an anal relaxing spray. Curiously enough this product is marketed exclusively to women. But ya know what? Men have assholes too. And Intimate Organics Adventure is equally effective on a dude’s bunghole as it is on a chick’s.

When I haven’t bottomed for a while, and I’m talking about either diddling myself with a dildo while I beat off or having my GF peg me, I want to ease into the experience. Gettin bum-fucked is a kick when it is worry free. So anything I can use to take the edge off is a big plus in my book.

Ok, after saying that I just realized that didn’t come out right. I don’t want to suggest that “anything” that takes the edge off is good. The reason I’m correcting myself is that I have tried other anal relaxers. Actually they were anal anesthesizers and that was the problem. Some of the products I tried in the past used benzocaine and it numbed the shit out of my hole. This was way over-kill and it was also dangerous. If I couldn’t feel what was going on down there I couldn’t tell if I was about to injure myself, nor could I be any help to my partner with the strap-on. So no more of that stuff for me!

Intimate Organics Adventure is different. Their herbal-based spray does not numb, because it doesn’t contain any anesthetic elements. Their unique formula contains a certified organic extract blend with the natural potency of clove, goji berry, aloe and lemongrass. It’s great. My GF, Kitty, thinks so too. Once she saw how much I enjoyed my butt she decided to give up her ass too.

I’m certain that the Intimate Organics Adventure was a big part of her decision to try anal. This chick is super fussy about what she puts in and on her bod. The fact that this product is organic really impressed her. The lady-friendly packaging didn’t hurt the effort either.

Intimate Organics Adventure is a spray, I already mentioned that, and it’s the consistency of a light lube. But ya gotta know that this product does not replace the need for a high-quality lube. When it come to anal penetration of any kind, you’re gonna want to use lots more lube than a couple of spritzes of this product. only thing ya got to remember is ya have to wait about 10 minutes after applying the Intimate Organics Adventure before applying the additional lube. This product is also latex and condom friendly.
Full Review HERE!

LELO Flickering Touch Massage Candle —— $29.15

Jada
I’m a sucker for scented candles. I have them all over the house. I once took a class in aromatherapy and I learned a lot about how essential oils, and other aromatic compounds can alter a person’s mind, mood, cognitive function or health.

So when Dr Dick offered me the Flickering Touch Massage Candle to review I knew I was in for a treat. I am very fond of my LELO pleasure objects. I reviewed The SORAYA way back in January and was so impressed that I’ve picked up two others LELO vibes since. One I gave as a gift.  I know, how generous!

The Flickering Touch Massage Candle did not disappoint. It lives up to the LELO name in every way. Lets start with the packaging. It came in a simply elegant black box, with mauve and black accents. And all the packaging is biodegradable. The candle itself comes in a gorgeous black glass container with a designer silver lid. It dresses up anywhere you put it.

I received the Vanilla & Crème De Cacao candle, but there are two other candles in the LELO line — Black Pepper & Pomegranate and Snow Pear & Cedarwood. (Please Mr LELO, send us others to review!)

The candle is made from natural soy wax, shea butter and apricot oil. And because it is a massage candle as well as aromatherapy, when you dab it on your skin, or your lover’s skin, the effect is outstanding. It absorbs nicely, like a fine body oil should. And it leaves your skin delectably smooth and lightly fragranced.

If you are into sensual massages and romantic play the Flickering Touch Massage Candle is just the thing for you. My husband and I went to the San Juan Islands for an amorous weekend get away for our anniversary last month. I made certain that the Flickering Touch Massage Candle would accompany us. My husband liked the scent too. He’s sometimes critical of my aromas, because he claims some are too sweet or feminine. But he liked the Vanilla & Crème De Cacao just fine.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

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Oceans of Lotions

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Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday again and we’re comin’ at ya with two brilliant GREEN products. And they come to us directly from the manufacturers too. We are proud to welcome Seven Oaks Farms of California  and NuruSlide from Japan.

Let’s begin with Dr Dick Review Crew Members Gina & Kevin.

Nuru Gel Original from Nuru Slide—— $21.99

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “We’ve done dozens of reviews as members of the Dr Dick Review Crew, but today we have a first.”
Kevin: “We’ve never reviewed a massage product before, that is until today. We are delighted to bring you news of a fantastic product, Nuru Gel.”
Gina: “I proudly acknowledged that I am, what Kevin calls, a massage slut. There is nothing more satisfying than body-to-body contact. Of all the things I enjoy in life, and there are many, I crave massage and bodywork the most.”
Kevin: “It’s true! But she is leaving something out. Not only does she love to receive massage, but she also enjoys giving massage. And I, I’m happy to report, am the lucky recipient of most of her hands-on loving. She’s got the touch of an angel.”
Gina: “Isn’t he sweet? Don’t get me wrong, I love sex and I’ve also discovered, thanks to Kevin, that I can be a raunchy bitch when I want to be. But there is nothing more nurturing and loving than massage; both giving and receiving.”
Kevin: “That’s why when we were offered Nuru Gel to review I knew we were both in for a real treat!”
Gina: “The thing is, we didn’t exactly know how big a treat it was going to be. Let me explain. Unlike any other massage cream, lotion or oil I’ve used; Nuru Gel works best when we’re both wet. This is a totally new concept for me so we started our massage night in the bath together.”
Kevin: “This is the added bonus of a Nuru Gel massage. We got to lounge in the bath, play a bit with some of our waterproof toys to get the evening started.”
Gina: “Instruction on the Nuru Gel website suggest that the massage happen on an air mattress or vinyl sheets. This is so both people, or if there was a massage group, everyone would be slippy and sliddy. This is the nature of a Nuru massage. Look it up online if you don’t believe me. Actually, we wound up using a rubber sheet that we sometimes use for our kink play under a regular cotton sheet. We didn’t what to lay down directly on the rubber.”
Kevin: “You will be mixing the Nuru Gel with some warm water to reach the desired consistency. The whole event is gonna get a little messy, and I mean that in the best possible way. So have a few couple towels within easy reach. We also rolled up a towel placed across the top of our mattress where the one receiving the massage could lay his head.”
Gina: “Once we left the bath we dried off a bit and then Kevin laid face-down on our mattress. I poured the Nuru Gel/water solution, one handful at a time, over the back of his body. I then applied a couple of handfuls of the solution over the front of my body and laid down on top of him. Nuru Gel is so slick we had a ball rubbing all over each other. It’s both therapeutic and sensual all at the same time. I absolutely loved it. We wouldn’t be able to do this with any other product I know of, so the Nuru Gel was a real treat.“
Full Review HERE!

Now here’s Review Crew Member, Angie.

Aloe Cadabra with Vitamin E & Natural Aloe —— $9.95

Angie
In my time on the Dr Dick Review Crew I’ve developed into quite a connoisseur of personal lubricants. I’ve tried more products in the last couple of years than most women try in a lifetime. I’ve discovered a precious few products I like and way more that I didn’t care for. I decided some time ago that I would never use a conventional, chemically filled lubricant ever again. I just figure that life is too short and my body is too precious to contaminate it with needless chemicals. In other words, I’ve gone GREEN!

That’s way I was overjoyed to receive this 2.5oz container of Aloe Cadabra to review. It is a plant-based personal lubricant made from 95% organic aloe vera. The clever play on words, that is the product’s name, tickled me no end. And, as their name suggests, Aloe Cadabra is pretty magical.

Aloe Cadabra is lusciously silky and totally free of glycerine, parabens, alcohol, hormones or any other foreign chemical substances. I have the Vitamin E enriched formula, but there is also a Tahitian Vanilla and French Lavender formula. I intend to try all three.

I am post-menopausal so I have a real problem with vaginal dryness. But rather than suffer with this condition I have the utmost confidence using Aloe Cadabra. It is the closest thing to the natural lubricant my body used to make in abundance. I have several other health and beauty products that are mainly aloe vera gel. At first I was concerned that Aloe Cadabra would be too dense or might dry out or get sticky during use. But it wasn’t and it did not. Its silken consistency is neither too thick nor is it watery. It is the ideal personal lubricant for all my pleasurable moments, the ones I enjoy by myself as well as the ones I enjoy with my husband.

Speaking of which, my husband loves Aloe Cadabra too. He likes it because it’s never greasy and it’s perfect to use with even our finest silicone toys. And when he gets some in his mouth (my man is a passionate oral pleaser) Aloe Cadabra doesn’t taste bad. It is also condom friendly. My husband and I don’t have to worry about that, but I know many people in our audience need to know that.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

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Sex Wisdom with Sophia Sky – Podcast #225 – 08/11/10

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[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

Holy cow! I’ve apparently fallen into a pot jam; gorgeous and talented Seattle women surround me! Monday I posted the first part of my conversation with the artistic knockout, Jesse Belle-Jones.  Today the equally stunning and gifted Sophia Sky joins me for some of her topnotch SEX WISDOM. This podcast series, as you recall, brings us conversations with movers and shakers in the field of human sexuality — researchers, educators, clinicians, pundits and philosophers — all who are making news and reshaping how we look at our sexual selves. And Sophia fits that bill beautifully.

Teaching, bodies, BDSM, art and performing are among Sophia’s passions. And she selflessly offers us her insights and acumen in the most charming and disarming manner. You’re gonna love this my friends!

Sophia and I discuss:

  • Being a pervicacious, strong and playful switch;
  • Becoming Sophia Sky;
  • The history of her anatomy classes;
  • Massage therapy;
  • Anatomy 101 for kinksters;
  • Head Games — Anatomy for Edge Play with the Head and Neck;
  • Genital Anatomy for Pleasure & Fun
  • Using the Senses in BDSM Play;
  • Processing Pain as a Team.

Sophia invites you to visit her in her den of iniquity HERE!

See a slideshow of Sophia at work and play.

Click on the thumbnails below.


 

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Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

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WET and Wonderful

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Hey sex fans!

Today’s Product Review Friday brings you the balance of our reviews of the WET products we received earlier in the year.  As you recall, we reviewed a whole bunch of their products back in May. You can see the Dr Dick Review Crew comments HERE!

I’m delighted to have the honor of introducing you to the remaining three WET products, two of which are not personal lubes.  I love it that they are branching out.

WET Gellee —— $8.74

Dr Dick
Water-based personal lubes are notorious for drying out too quickly, at least as they compare to silicone-based lubes. And when a lube dries out during use, it tend to become sticky. I hate when that happens! Problem is if you’re using a condom and/or playing with a fine silicone toy; ya can’t use a silicone-based lube.

Water-based personal lubes are also less viscous then their silicone-based cousins. Less viscosity means the lube will be runny and less likely to stay in place. This can be frustrating, messy and wasteful.

But wait! Our friends at WET have come up with a very nice solution to these nagging problems. They call their product — WET Gellee. This is a new product for WET. They’ve successfully made a hypoallergenic gel-type water-based lube that is silky smooth; more long-lasting; doesn’t get sticky; way more viscous than the traditional runny liquid formula so it stays put longer; and there’s less of a mess when using it. WET Gellee isn’t as likely to drip all over your bedding, furniture, carpet or car upholstery. Wait, car upholstery? Come on; let’s face it, not all fucking happens in the bedroom. And WET Gellee is non-staining, which makes it perfect for all those non-traditional sex situations…the dining room table, pool side, Aunt Millie’s powder room?

I was happy to receive the non-scented original formula of WET Gellee. They also have a Kiwi Strawberry flavor, which would have been way over the top for me. I prefer my lube to be flavorless, thank you very much. However, there is a hint of sweetness, even with this non-scented original formula. But these formulas are completely sugar-free, which means most people can use them internally without reservation. But, if you are allergic to sucralose, you’ll want to look elsewhere for your lube.
Full Review HERE

Inttimo Tranquility Aromatherapy —— $12.17

Dr Dick
I’ve been an avid practitioner of massage and bodywork for ages. I guess you could say I know my way around a massage table. However, finding just the right massage oil or lotion is not nearly as easy as kneading out the knots in someone’s body.

I’ve tried dozens and dozens of different products over the years and while I’m particularly fond of the Vitamin E and Aloe Vera-based massage lotion that I whip up in my own kitchen, I am always on the lookout for an exceptionally fine massage oil as a compliment to the lotion I use.

I am happy to announce that, thanks to my friends at WET, I now have what I’ve been searching for — Inttimo Tranquility Aromatherapy.  It is the ideal massage oil to use along side of my special recipe massage lotion. So yay for that!

Inttimo Tranquility is another new product from the masterminds at WET. It’s a very light, pleasantly fragranced massage oil that can also be used as a bath oil. I am so glad to see them branch out from their more familiar line of personal lubricants.

Inttimo Tranquility is long-lasting, but never greasy. It has a nice, but not overpowering scent. This one contains bergamot and ginger; aromas to balance, instill composure and relax the body. But there are three other aromas to choose from. And a little goes a long way. It feels beautifully on my hands and on my client’s skin.

It comes in a nicely shaped plastic bottle. I got the 4oz size for review, but it also comes in an 8oz size. Despite the attractive bottle I wound up transferring the contents to an empty pump bottle I had on hand. The screw top of the original container is not convenient. It’s a bother to have to open and close it with each application, but you’d be foolish not to. The bottle could easily tip and spill and that would make a huge mess. If I had one suggestion to make to the manufacturer it would be consider adding a pump to the packaging.

Again, I loved the consistency of Inttimo Tranquility; not too thin, not so thick, it’s just right. It distributes on the body very evenly and it easily absorbs into the skin. There’s no residue to stain either my massage linens or my client’s clothing.

Inttimo Tranquility contains almond oil, aloe vera juice, vitamin E and A, hemp seed oil, avocado oil, kukul nut oil, and sunflower oil. It’s very good for your skin. It’s great for erotic massage too. But it’s not recommended for use with a condom.
Full Review HERE

Inttimo Shave Cream —— $9.99

Dr Dick
I have the pleasure of introducing you to my new product of choice in the shaving department. Say hello to Inttimo Shave Cream, another innovative product from the good folks at WET. I mean it just figures that a company known for their premium personal lubes would bring to market a superior shaving cream. All I gotta say is; what took you so long?

If you’re prone to razor burn, ingrown hairs and/or shaving bumps Inttimo Shave Cream is the ideal product for you. Now I know that WET created this formula to enhance and safeguard intimate shaves, like bikini shaves, legs, underarms and manscaping, but is it’s as practical, if not more so, for every day facial shaving.

It’s enhanced with aloe vera, vitamin E and jojoba oil; it doesn’t contain parabens, but there is glycerin. I have pretty sensitive skin, but I didn’t experience any irritation when using Inttimo Shave Cream and my skin fells fantastic after each use. A small amount covers a large area and coats the skin nicely. I really like it because it’s not dense like shaving foam. This is a good thing because my razor just glides along, it didn’t clog my razor and it rinses off my razor easily.

I’m happy I got the unscented formula for review, but for those who want/need some fragrance they also have a Forbidden Fruit formula. (I wonder, what fruit is forbidden these days?)

I really like the plastic squeeze tube container. It has a flip-up top that is very convenient and you don’t have to worry about rust stains that so frequently accompany traditional metal shaving cream cans.
Full Review HERE

ENJOY

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Take A Deep Breath

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Name: Jake
Gender:
Age: 18
Location: London
I have never had sex mostly because I have never managed to approach the person. I am bisexual and am desperate to have sex with a guy or girl. What are the best ways to approach someone for sex?

Can’t manage to approach a person for sex?  Are you just really shy, or are you a total geek?  Either way, my friend, you gotta get over yourself if you ever hope to get laid.  And here’s a tip:  perspective partners can smell desperation, like the kind you speak of, a mile away.  And they will avoid you like the plague.

Ok, so you’re just 18 without a lot of experience in the ways of the world.  teen_sexuality.jpgHere’s what I tell everyone who asks me this question, regardless of age, gender or sexual orientation.  When it comes to asking for sex; the direct approach works best.  Just so long as you’re not a dick about it.  If you haven’t already discovered this, baggin a bird will probably take a bit more finesse than pokin’ on a bloke.  And coming on to a mate demands a different approach than hittin’ up a stranger for a shag.

If there’s a bit of charm about you, your task will be considerably easier than if you are a crude Neanderthal who just wants to notch his belt.  If you’re not sure what your selling points are, ask a friend for his or her feedback.  If he or she tells you nice things bout yourself, you might be in luck.  If he or she tells you that you’re a charmless creep, you’ll have your work cut out for you.

Regardless what group you fall into — the “maybe fuckable”, or the “not fucking ever”, you can always improve your image and hone your unique style.  Look to how you present yourself; make sure you are groomed, clean and odor-free.  Dress to impress.  Stay clear of fancy or fussy, but do make it look like you gave your cloths a thought before you dressed yourself.  Make yourself interesting; have a point of view, but share it sparingly.  Develop a sense of humor about yourself.  If you can’t be clever or witty, then keep your mouth shut for the most part.

boys_kissing05.jpgThe internet is a great place to test the waters.  Dating and hook-up sites abound.  Put up a profile…with a photo or two.  Here’s a tip, save the dick pics for the queer sites.  Women don’t want to see your pathetic willie, at least not right away.  And like I said above, there’s nothing more unattractive to most women, or men, than a desperate fuck.  Asking for what you want is good, pleading to be taken out of pity is not!

Few women are as casual about sex as are most men.  So if a woman tells you no, she just may be shy, or not ready, or not sure.  If a guy tell you no, it’s not the end of the world.  He’s probably not into your type.  Since there are so many fish in the sea, if you’re not immediately successful, move on.  Sometimes getting laid is a situational thing.  Being in the right place at the right time is helpful.

Chicks are gonna be concerned about the whole pregnancy thing. This is much more serious concern for a woman then for a dude. If you’re not well versed on all methods of contraception and willing to practice at least one, you’re not ready to have sex. Sexually transmitted infections ought to be a concern for you both.  Don’t be a fuck-up; always use a condom regardless of your partner’s gender.

condoms001.jpg

If you’re dick is hard, it’s not the right time to talk about sex with a woman, but it might be the best time to hit up a dude.  Women don’t necessarily like the lean and hungry look.  Men tend to groove on it.

There are lots of different ways to have sex, so what might be appealing to one person may not be to another.  Hand jobs and/or blow jobs are often more easy to cum by than full-on fucking with both birds and blokes.

In the end, there no standard way to ask for sex, but if you treat a prospective partner, regardless of gender, with respect, honesty, and patience, you can be sure whatever words you use will be more effective than if you’re an uncouth lout.

Name: Nita
Gender: female
Age: 40
Location: South Africa
I recently had abdominal surgery to remove a cancer.  I’m recovering pretty well, and the prognosis for my future is also pretty good.  But I am noticing two problems. The surgery left a really big scar.  It’s still not fully healed yet, but I can tell it’s always going to be ugly.  And my belly is really misshapen now. I felt pretty okay about my body before hand, but this scar really makes me look really unattractive.  Also, my sex drive has completely gone away. I used to be a pretty sexual person, but now nothing excites me. Would you say this is normal?

How long ago was your surgery, I wonder?  It’s got to be pretty recent, if you say the incision is still healing.

Darlin’, may I suggest that you’ve been through quite a trauma — a cancer diagnosis, recent surgery and all.  This would throw anyone for a loop.  I’d be willing to guess you’ve not had the proper time to process all of this.  It comes as no surprise to me that your libido has gone south.  I wouldn’t expect otherwise.

If you’re still healing on the outside, you know for sure your insides have a much longer way to go.  You’re probably still feeling some discomfort, right?  That’s enough to put the kibosh on sexual interest right there.  You’re body is consumed with the job of healing itself.  It probably hasn’t any energy to spare for sex.  And why have a libido if ya can’t be sexual, right?   So you see, your body is actually protecting itself and concentrating on the task at hand.sensual_massage110.JPG

Maybe at this point in your recovery a little pampering would be better for you than a pursuit of sexual pleasure.  Long luxurious baths will help soothe the tension, as well as giving your easy access to your fine pussy.  Even folks with no discernable libido find touching themselves enjoyable. And just to keep your head in the game, even though you’re sitting on the sidelines, you could read some erotica or watch some sexy smut.

Some modest exercise like walking or swimming can perk up the libido too.  Treat yourself to an erotic massage.  Let a pro get his or her hands on you and make you glow.  This may also help bring back some of the sensitivity to areas effected by the surgery.  One things for sure, doing something is better than doing nothing but sitting there wondering what’s up.

An invasive and disfiguring surgery will always have a profound effect on one’s body image, which goes without saying.  Feeling unattractive because of a scar? No doubt about it, it’s a bummer.  But here you are writing to me about it, instead of napping six-feet under.  So I guess the scar is not the worst thing that could have happened, right?  As you probably know, I’m hearing from a number of my country’s war vets returning home with shattered bodies and lives.  My advice to them is what I offer you now.  Move through the scar’s impact…with a therapist if need be.  And find within yourself the other things that make you beautiful, attractive, alluring and desirable. Who knows, you might luck out and find a scar fetishist out there who will worship you for what you find loathsome.

mastectomy_scars.jpgEmbracing and then moving past your scaring will open you to find the myriad pleasures your body can still provide you and others.  So while your body works on healing itself, your mind can do likewise.  No need to have two scars, on one your belly and another one on your psyche.  In the end you may find that flaunting your scar, like some women do with their mastectomy scars, will liberate you from feeling unattractive.  After all, that scare and misshapen abdomen are your red badges of courage, honey.  Not only do they make you distinct, but also they testify to you being a survivor.

Name: David
Gender: Male
Age: 27
Location: New York, NY
This is a rather disgusting question. I am a gay male who prefers to be the bottom. The trouble is that even if I perform an enema right before sex, I still seem to get some excrement onto my partner’s penis during sex. It just seems that the feeling of the motion back and forth inside of me causes a sensation that makes something come out. The odor is, at times, unpleasant and I, of course, am mortified. I wonder if this is a common problem and if there is anything else I can do to PREVENT this from happening?? Could it perhaps be my diet? Do I need to drink more water?

YIKES!  You sound like a real attractive guy, David.  Just kidding!

If you are douching properly before the butt fucking there shouldn’t be much seepage if any.  Maybe you’re not taking care of business correctly.  Or maybe you need to douche twice.  Or maybe you’re being fucked too hard.  I know that a vigorous fucking will introduce more air into the bottom’s rectum expanding it and making for that “OMG, I gotta take a dump” feeling.butt_fuck5.jpg

I understand you being mortified; a smelly dirty fuck is no fun for anyone.  That being said, you have to realize your bowels are working properly, so it’s not their fault.  Just remember, there will inevitably be some unpleasant side effects when rootin’ around in someone’s hole, regardless how fastidious the bottom is about his hygiene.

I’m not sure I see the connection between diet and hydration and messy fucking, but hell, I’d try just about anything to keep from embarrassing myself when my toes are pointed to jesus!

Name: Ken
Gender:
Age: 42
Location: Seattle
I recently went to get a massage with a “happy ending” As soon as the girl started to fondle me I came and I did not even have an erection yet.  I never have this problem with my wife or past girlfriends. Why did this happen? It sure cost a lot of money for about five minutes with this “lady”. Thanks

Well, let’s see…either this “masseuse” (and I use that term very loosely) was amazingly talented, or you were just real nervous about doing this naughty thing with someone other than your wife.

Hmmm, I bet it was the later.

Here’s a tip, always get the massage first…before the happy ending.  If the first thing that happens is the happy ending, then you got gypped, darlin’!

Name: Marion
Gender: female
Age: 32
Location: NYC
I’m 34 and single.  After 15 years of unsuccessful dating, searching for the right guy to marry and raise a family with, I decided to go it alone.  I’m 2 months pregnant through artificial insemination.  You’ll love this; the donor is my best gay pal.  I am absolutely delighted and cherish the thought of finally being a mother.  While a lot of the guys I’ve been dating aren’t father material, they are great sex and I don’t want to continue to enjoy their company.  I gather that it’s safe to have sex during pregnancy.  But is there anything I should avoid?  Are there specific sexual positions that better suit a mommy-to-be like me?

Hey, congratulations on the bun in the oven, darlin’.  And how true about some men being great in the sack, but not desirable husband and/or father material.  I know several gay men who have helped out a long-suffering straight and lesbian friends with the whole breeding thing.  Us “mos” are so selfless in that regard.  😉

It’s difficult to find accurate and unambiguous information about sex preg_sex01jpg.jpgduring pregnancy that doesn’t have a decidedly sex-negative bias to it.  For the most part, our culture promotes the message that sex is primarily for procreation.  Why then would any responsible mother to be continue to have sex if she’s already knocked up?  You can see where a lot of the misconceptions, misinformation and scare tactics come from, huh?

So let’s see if we can shed some light on this for ya.  As a pregnancy advances, the fertilized egg grows into an embryo and then into a fetus. The fetus is encased in and protected by the amniotic cavity.  This provides the fetus nourishment and protects it from infections.  A thick layer of mucus seals the cervix further isolating the fetus in the mother’s uterus.

If you’re having a normal pregnancy, as do most women, then there is no reason to alter your sex life during your pregnancy.  Since this is your first, you’ll not know this, but a woman who has a history of premature birth may be advised by her physician to abstain from partnered sex during the last three months of pregnancy.  In the same way, a woman with a history of miscarriage will probably be advised to avoid partnered sex in the first trimester.  Only women with high-risk pregnancies might be advised to avoid sex for the full term of the pregnancy.

Nature provides all protection the fetus needs in its mother’s uterus. So you don’t need to worry about semen or vaginal fluids coming into contact with the baby.  And the mucus seal on your cervix does not allow a penis to come in direct contact with the fetus either.  Which dispels several misconceptions right there, don’t cha know.

In terms of pregnancy related sex, I suspect that your libido will probably play a more determining role in your availability for sex than you capacity to have sex.  Your libido will no doubt fluctuate during your pregnancy, which may have a lot to do with hormonal fluctuations.  Increased blood circulation in your pelvic region will heighten sensations, but you may find your body feels too heavy to fully enjoy sex.

Most men will love your bigger tits and fuller hips, but sometimes an overriding concern to avoid any exertion on the uterus or in the vagina makes partnered sex too cumbersome.

Sex during pregnancy, like sex after menopause, is free of worry about contraception, which makes sex more enjoyable for some.  While others are too busy anticipating the new addition to be much interested in sex at all.

In terms of sexual positions, you’re gonna be the best judge of that.  No preg_sex08.jpgposition is automatically ruled out, but as your pregnancy progresses you’ll find some positions, like the missionary position, will be uncomfortable. One of the best positions might be the woman on top position. Sometimes known as the Cowgirl position.  This position takes all of the pressure off of the woman’s abdomen, and also allows her to control the speed and the depth of thrusting.

And if you are a fan of anal sex; that will continue to be a terrific option throughout your pregnancy, particularly doggie style.  Some pregnant women claim that butt fucking actually helps soothe their pregnancy induced hemorrhoids.  In your final weeks mutual masturbation may be the easiest option as well as the most satisfying sexual outlet.

Good Luck ya’ll

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Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #60 — 04/21/08

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[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

I have a whopper of a show for you today. We return to our usual question and answer format this week, because I have a steamy load of stimulating questions — and they’re ALL from men. What’s up with that, ladies? Anyhow, I respond with an equal number of cheeky, charming and oh so enlightening responses! Hey, it’s what I do.

  • We get started with a bit of Dirty Talk for comic relief.
  • Marcos can’t last longer than a couple of minutes!
  • Seth’s GF is way ahead of him! Will he be able to catch up and keep up?
  • Doug’s prostate is gone and he’s bummed out for sure.
  • Bryan wants to cum like they do in the movies!

BE THERE, OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s dr dick’s toll free podcast voicemail. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question? No time to write? Give dr dick a call at (866) 422-5680. Again, the TOLL FREE voicemail number is (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY !

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section — just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I don’t want you to miss even one episode.

I wanna take a moment to alert you to a new feature here on Dr Dick’s Sex Advice. It’s my PRODUCT REVIEW page. That’s right sex fans, now you can see what hot and what’s not in the world of adult products.

From time to time I will be posting reviews of all kinds of adult related products — sex toys for sure, but also condoms, lubes, fetish gear as well as educational and enrichment videos. DON’T MISS A SINGLE ONE!

Look for the Product Reviews tab at the top of the page.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s How To Video Library.

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