Category: Achieving Orgasm

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Is there a difference between orgasm and climax?

Climax and orgasm are both parts of sexual activity. While many people use the words interchangeably, some believe they have different definitions. By these definitions, an orgasm is the buildup of pleasure just before a climax, while a climax is the peak of the orgasm, when the sexual pleasure is the most intense.

by Anna Smith

Most scientific researchers consider orgasm and climax to be the same thing. However, some people consider them to have two different definitions.

This article will look into the possible differences between climax and orgasm and tips on achieving orgasm.

Some people consider climax to be the feeling of intense pleasure a person feels at the peak of an orgasm. Other individuals consider climax and orgasm to be the same thing.

During climax, a person’s pelvic floor muscles contract repeatedly. Some people can climax multiple times during sexual activity, while others may climax once or not at all.

It can be typical for a person not to climax. However, they can speak with a healthcare professional if they have concerns about this.

There are various ways someone can achieve climax, such as through:

  • vaginal sex
  • oral sex
  • anal sex
  • masturbation
  • stimulation of erogenous zones, such as the nipples

However, everyone is different, and things that cause one person to climax may not work for another.

Certain people believe that an orgasm is the buildup of pleasure that occurs before a climax. Others consider orgasm to refer to the entire experience of sexual buildup and climax.

It is possible for a person to extend the time that they experience orgasm. This is known as edging. Some people believe that edging can lead to a more intense climax.

The International Society for Sexual Medicine (ISSM) describes edging in the following steps:

  1. A person reaches the brink of achieving climax.
  2. They then reduce stimulation, meaning they do not reach climax.
  3. The individual then brings themselves back to the edge of climax.
  4. They may then allow themselves to climax or reduce stimulation again.

This cycle may repeat multiple times.

Going by their separate definitions, an individual can achieve orgasm without climax.

Research from 2016 notes that, during sex, over 90% of menTrusted Source achieve climax. Additionally, around 50% of women climax during sex.

A person may find that they experience orgasm during sexual activity, but they do not reach climax. This can be enough for some people but frustrating for others.

If a person has concerns about being unable to climax, they can consult a healthcare professional.

According to the advocacy group Planned Parenthood, when a person climaxes, they may feel a wave of pleasure that starts in their genitals and travels through their body. Some people may experience climax more intensely than others.

When someone climaxes, their heart rate and breathing levels increase.

During climax, people may experience vaginal spasms and contractions of the uterus. This can accompany vaginal secretions. And while female ejaculation can also occur, this is typical, and the fluid is not urine.

Typically, the penis ejaculates. However, it is possible to climax without ejaculating, which is known as dry ejaculation.

The ISSM notes that dry ejaculation is usually nothing to worry about. If a person has climaxed several times in one day, it is possible for them to run out of sperm. Dry ejaculation can also occur due to certain drugs or surgery.

If a person has concerns about dry ejaculation, they can discuss this with a healthcare professional.

Following climax, a person may feel sleepy, happy, or relaxed. An individual’s clitoris or glans, the head of the penis, may be sensitive right after climaxing. Flushing of the chest, neck, and face can also occur.

In the buildup to a climax, a person may experience feelings of increasing pleasure. This feeling may build gradually or occur suddenly.

When someone starts to orgasm, they may feel a buildup of tension. They may also feel their toes curl or their hands clench.

As a person orgasms, they may achieve climax or experience a dip in pleasure levels. If this occurs, they may require a change in stimulation. This can involve increasing speed, slowing down, or changing positions.

It is possible for a person to orgasm and climax together. They may feel an intense wave of pleasure following the buildup of an orgasm. This wave is the climax of the orgasm.

A climax is usually more intense and pleasurable than an orgasm. However, this can depend on certain factors, such as:

  • how aroused a person is
  • how long it has been since they last climaxed
  • how much lubrication there is
  • their connection to other people involved
  • the type of sexual position
  • the type of sexual activity
  • whether they continue stimulation until the completion of the climax

After climaxing, a person may find that their genitals are too sensitive to continue sexual activity. However, some people can continue after climaxing and possibly achieve multiple climaxes.

Information from the ISSM suggests that around 15% of women can have multiple climaxes.

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What is an orgasm?

Everything you need to know about orgasms

by James McIntosh

Many people regard the orgasm as the peak of sexual excitement. It is a powerful feeling of physical pleasure and sensation. There is still more for researchers to know about the orgasm, and over the past century, theories about the orgasm and its nature have shifted.

This article explains what an orgasm is in people of different sexes. It also looks at why orgasms occur and explains some common misconceptions.

According to the American Psychological Association, an orgasm is when a person reaches peak pleasure. The body releases tension, and the perineal muscles, anal sphincter, and reproductive organs rhythmically contract.

Males will usually ejaculate when reaching an orgasm and females will experience vaginal wall contractions. Females may also ejaculate during sexual activity or when experiencing an orgasm.

Orgasm models

Sex researchers have defined orgasms within staged models of sexual response. Although the orgasm process can differ greatly between individuals, several basic physiological changes tend to occur in most incidences.

The following models are patterns that occur in all forms of sexual response and do not solely relate to penile-vaginal intercourse.

Master and Johnson’s 4-phase model

In 1966, researchers named William Masters and Virginia Johnson came up with a four-phase model:

  1. excitement
  2. plateau
  3. orgasm
  4. resolution

Kaplan’s 3-stage model

Kaplan’s model differs from most other sexual response models by including desire — most models tend to avoid including nongenital changes. It is also important to note that desire does not precede all sexual activity. The three stages in this model are:

  1. desire
  2. excitement
  3. orgasm

During an orgasm, people may experience an intense feeling of pleasure in the genitals and throughout the body. Orgasms can feel different for each individual.

After an orgasm, the face, neck, or chest may flush. People may also feel sleepy, relaxed, or happy afterwards due to a release of endorphins.

For females

For females, the muscles in the vagina and anus may contract roughly once per second, for around five to eiht times. Heart and breathing rates may increase.

Before and during an orgasm, the vagina may become wet, and it may even ejaculate this fluid. Research suggests the percentage of females who ejaculate can range from 10–70%.

Directly after an orgasm, the clitoris may feel more sensitive or uncomfortable to touch.

For males

For males, the muscles in the penis and anus may contract around once every second, between five to eight times. Heart and breathing rates may increase.

The penis may release around 1–2 tablespoons of semen. People may not ejaculate during an orgasm, but both usually occur simultaneously.

Directly after an orgasm, the head of the penis may feel more sensitive or uncomfortable to touch.

Orgasms can help people to sleep better. Research from 2019Trusted Source finds that orgasms achieved with a partner resulted in good sleep outcomes. Orgasms achieved through masturbation resulted in better sleep quality and reduced the time taken to fall asleep.

The body releases a hormone called oxytocin during an orgasm. Oxytocin may have a variety of health benefits, such as:

In addition, there is some evidence that frequent ejaculation in males might reduce the risk of prostate cancer. ResearchTrusted Source finds that healthcare professionals diagnosed prostate cancer less frequently in those who had high ejaculation rates.
There are many different types of orgasms, some of which are detailed below:

  • Clitoral orgasm: This is when an orgasm occurs due to stimulation of the clitoris. A 2019 article notes that 60% of female orgasms occur due to clitoral stimulation.
  • Vaginal orgasm: This is when an orgasm occurs vaginal stimulation. The American Psychological Association states that vaginal orgasms are related to the indirect stimulation of the clitoris during sex.
  • Blended orgasm: This occurs when clitoral and vaginal orgasms occur together.
  • Anal orgasm: Some femalesTrusted Source experience orgasms during anal sex.
  • G-spot orgasm: An orgasm can occur as a result of stimulation of the G-spot.
  • Multiple orgasms: A person can experience a series of orgasms over a short time. Masters and Johnson note that females have a shorter refractory (recovery) period, which allows them to experience multiple orgasms in a shorter period of time.
  • Imagery-induced: Orgasms can occur as a response to imagery without physical stimulation. Research from 1992Trusted Source states that orgasms can occur as a result of self-induced imagery. Newer researchTrusted Source from 2016 notes that mental imagery activates the brain regions connected to orgasm, reward, and bodily stimulation.
  • Nipple orgasm: A person may reach an orgasm due to stimulation of the nipples alone. Stimulation of the nipples can activate the part of the brain that also activates with genital stimulation.

The above list is not exhaustive, and research is ongoing regarding the types of orgasms people can experience.

Can males experience multiple orgasms?

According to a 2016 literature reviewTrusted Source, males can experience multiple orgasms.

However, this is not common. Less than 10% of people in their 20s and less than 7% of those age 30 or over can experience them.

The researchers note two types of male multiple orgasms: sporadic and condensed.

Sporadic multiple orgasms will have intervals of a few minutes. Condensed multiple orgasms consist of two to four orgasmic bursts in the space of a few seconds to 2 minutes.

More research is required to understand what factors can affect a person’s ability to experience multiple orgasms.
The following description of the physiological process of female orgasms in the genitals will use the Masters and Johnson four-phase model.

Excitement

During female stimulation, either physically or psychologically, the blood vessels within the genitals dilate. Increased blood supply causes fluid to pass through the vaginal walls, making the vulva swollen and wet. Internally, the top of the vagina expands.

During this phase, heart rate and breathing quicken, and blood pressure increases. Blood vessel dilation can lead to the person appearing flushed, particularly on the neck and chest.

Plateau

As blood flow to the introitus (vaginal opening) reaches its limit, it becomes firm. Breasts can increase in size, and increased blood flow to the areola causes the nipples to appear less erect. The clitoris pulls back against the pubic bone, seemingly disappearing.

Orgasm

The genital muscles, including the uterus and vaginal opening, experience rhythmic contractions around 0.8 seconds apart. The female orgasm typically lasts longer than the male orgasm, at an average of around 20–35 secondsTrusted Source.

Unlike males, most females do not have a recovery period and so can have further orgasms with repeated stimulation.

Resolution

The body gradually returns to its former state. Swelling reduces while the pulse and breathing slow.

The following description of the bodily process of male orgasms in the genitals uses the Masters and Johnson four-phase model.

Excitement

Male stimulation, either physically or psychologically, can lead to an erection. Blood flows into the corpora (spongy tissue running the length of the penis), causing the penis to grow in size and become rigid. The testicles draw up toward the body as the scrotum tightens.

Plateau

As the blood vessels in and around the penis fill with blood, the glans and testicles increase in size. In addition, thigh and buttock muscles tense, blood pressure rises, the pulse quickens, and the rate of breathing increases.

Orgasm

Semen enters the urethra by a series of contractions in the pelvic floor muscles, the prostate gland, the seminal vesicles, and the vas deferens.

Contractions in the pelvic floor muscles and prostate gland also force the semen out of the penis in a process called ejaculation.

Resolution

The male now enters a temporary recovery phase. This is the refractory period, and its length varies from person to person. It can last from a few minutes to a few days, and this period generally grows longer as a male ages.

During this phase, the penis and testicles return to their original size. The breathing may be heavy and fast, and the pulse will be elevated.

Orgasms typically occur as part of a sexual response cycle. They often take place following the continual stimulation of erogenous zones, such as the genitals, anus, nipples, and perineum.

Orgasms occur following two basic responses to continual stimulation:

  • Vasocongestion: This is the process in which body tissues fill up with blood, swelling in size as a result.
  • Myotonia: This is the process in which muscles tense, including both voluntary flexing and involuntary contracting.

According to a 2017 articleTrusted Source, people can experience an orgasm from stimulation other than in the genital area, such as the ears or nipples. Even mental stimulation can produce an orgasm.

Orgasmic disorders can lead to distress, frustration, and feelings of shame, both for the person experiencing the symptoms and their sexual partner.

Although orgasms occur similarly in all genders, healthcare professionals tend to describe orgasm disorders in gendered terms.

Female orgasmic disorders

Female orgasmic disorders center around the absence or significant delay of orgasms following sufficient stimulation.

Doctors refer to the absence of having orgasms as anorgasmia. This term can either refer to when a person has never experiencedTrusted Source an orgasm (primary anorgasmia) or when a person who previously experienced orgasms no longer can (secondary anorgasmia). The condition can occur generally or in specific situations.

Female orgasmic disorders can occur as the result of physical causes, such as gynecological conditions or the use of certain medications, or psychological causes such as anxiety or depression.

Male orgasmic disorders

Male orgasmic disorder (male anorgasmia) involves a persistent and recurrent delay or absence of orgasm following sufficient stimulation.

Male anorgasmia can be a lifelong condition or one that happens after a period of regular sexual functioning. The condition can occur generally or in specific situations.

Male anorgasmia can occurTrusted Source as the result of physical conditions such as low testosterone, psychological conditions such as anxiety, or through the use of certain medications such as antidepressants.

Premature ejaculation

Ejaculation in males is closely associated with an orgasm. Premature ejaculation, where a male ejaculates sooner than they would want to, is a common sexual complaint.

Premature ejaculation may be due to a combination of psychological factors such as guilt or anxiety and biological factors such as hormone levels or nerve damage.

The importance that society places on sex — combined with our incomplete knowledge of the orgasm — has led to several common misconceptions.

Sexual culture has placed the orgasm on a pedestal, often prizing it as the only goal for sexual encounters.

However, orgasms are not as simple or as common as many people would suggest.

In a 2016 studyTrusted Source, 14% of women under the age of 35 had never experienced an orgasm from sexual intercourse. The same study reports that 9% of women surveyed, regardless of age, had never experienced an orgasm from sexual intercourse.

Other data in the study reported that only 38% of young women usually had an orgasm during intercourse, while 43% reported infrequent orgasms.

In the United States, as many as 1 in 3 males 18–59 years old report having problems with premature ejaculation at some point in their lives.

Research has shown that orgasms are also not widely considered the most important aspect of a sexual experience. According to the Kinsey Institute, reports of sexual satisfaction from both males and females were more likely when they experienced:

  • frequent kissing and cuddling
  • sexual caressing from partner
  • higher sexual functioning
  • more frequent sex

Another misconception is that penile-vaginal stimulation is the main way for people to achieve an orgasm. While this may be true for many people, many more females experience higher sexual arousal following the stimulation of the clitoris.

Orgasms can occur in many ways. Orgasms do not necessarily have to involve the genitals, nor do they have to link with sexual desires, as evidenced by examples of exercise-induced orgasm.

Another common misconception is that transgender people cannot orgasm after gender reassignment surgery.

A 2018 studyTrusted Source looked at the effects of gender affirming surgery (GAS) on orgasm.

In participants who had undergone GAS with penile inversion vaginoplasty and then had sexual intercourse, 55.8% reported their orgasms to be more intense than before the surgery. Of the participants, 20.8% reported no difference.

A 2014 study focused on 97 people who underwent single-stage metoidioplasty. The researchers found that none of those who had the surgery had any problems achieving an orgasm.

Johns Hopkins states that achieving an orgasm is possible after phalloplasty.

The journey to an orgasm is a very individual experience that has no singular, all-encompassing definition. In many cases, experts recommend avoiding comparison with other people or preexisting concepts of what an orgasm should be.

Orgasms can be different for each individual and do not only occur through sexual stimulation.

People of all genders can have orgasms, and transgender people can orgasm after gender affirmation surgery. Orgasms can release endorphins, which may cause an increased feeling of relaxation or happiness afterward.

People of any gender may also experience orgasm disorders, such as premature ejaculation or an inability to orgasm. If people have any concerns regarding their orgasms, they can speak with a doctor or sex therapist.

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Enjoying Sex, One of Life’s Not-so-Simple Pleasures

by Brittany Foster

“There were nights of endless pleasure. It was more than any laws allow.”

Celine Dion’s “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now” is a classic. As I sang along, I couldn’t help but wonder, what kind of sex is Celine Dion having, and where can I sign up? One of life’s greatest pleasures is pleasure itself, but why can this sometimes feel impossible to achieve?

Living with a rare disease can feel like a hindrance to achieving an orgasm. Emotional dysregulation, physical pain, and loss of libido frustratingly complicate that toe-curling and back-arching feeling of whole-body bliss.

Although I am still wondering what the secret is to having those “nights of endless pleasure,” I have learned more about myself and my body in the last few years, which has helped strengthen my ability to have an orgasm. I’ve learned the importance of listening to my body, respecting and trusting my physical cues, and getting in touch with myself.

Some days, it is easier for me to ignore my body. Listening to it would mean that I have to acknowledge the hurt and pain. There was a long period of my life when I chose not to listen to my body. I was afraid of admitting when things felt too painful. I distanced myself from my body, and that strategy seemed to work. Ignorance was bliss until it wasn’t.

Numbing myself physically and emotionally just created a larger disconnect between my body and mind. This distance doesn’t help when it comes to physical pleasure and sex. Eventually, I started paying attention to how my body felt in the moment. Focusing on the most sensitive areas helped me to be present and created less distance between my body and mind.

Not only is listening to my body helpful when it comes to achieving powerful orgasms, but trust and respect are equally important. Trusting and respecting myself are half the battle. With rare disease and chronic illness, it is not uncommon to feel upset at my body for being so untrustworthy. My body is inconsistent, deceiving, and unpredictable.

If these were qualities of a partner, it would feel toxic. Instead of focusing on these inconsistencies, I’ve found it helpful to practice gratitude for the things my body can do every day, even if it’s a small victory. When it comes to pleasure, it’s necessary for me to have self-confidence and appreciation for what my body is capable of.

Mind-blowing orgasms can’t happen without communication. For me to communicate what my needs are, I first have to understand them myself. Getting in touch with myself and my physical desires has made a difference in the way I talk about my needs with a partner. It has given me confidence to speak up, which is something I have always struggled with.

Self-exploration is vital when it comes to pleasure. I have experimented with different lubrication, pressure, speeds, temperatures, textures, vibrations, and more. What feels right in one moment might not be suitable for another. Making time for myself and learning about my body are forms of self-care that shouldn’t be so shameful to talk about.

I may not be at the level of “nights of endless pleasure” yet, but I have had hours of it broken up into multiple rounds. Sexual pleasure does not always come easily, especially for those living with rare and chronic illness. I have had to shorten the disconnect between my body and mind, learn to trust that my body was capable of more, and had to explore what felt right.

Even though I am living with a rare disease, I still deserve to enjoy one of life’s simple pleasures: pleasure itself.

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A Study Reveals The Average Time It Takes To Make A Woman Orgasm & It’s Not That Hard

By Manya Ailawadi

Finally, the world is ready to take women’s sexual pleasure seriously – and here’s all you need to know. Researchers have published a study that gives us the average time it takes for a heterosexual woman to reach orgasm. According to the research, it takes around 13.41 minutes. The study focused on women older than 18 years, who are in a monogamous stable heterosexual relationship.

We hope we have your attention because there’s more. The study also revealed that only 31.4 percent of participants climaxed during penetrative sex. The sample size of the research was 645 women, from 20 different countries. So many numbers, right? Additionally, it also measured ‘orgasmic latency‘, which is the gap between arousal and climax.  

This research talks about other factors which affect how you O, too. It also suggests that when the woman was on top – almost 42.2 percent of them reported longer-lasting sensations. The study was published in The Journal Of Sexual Medicine – which also revealed that the age of women and the time that they had been with their partner did not have a significant effect on how long orgasms took. So you know that the spark definitely doesn’t ‘frizzle out’.

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Female sexuality and the ‘orgasm gap’ are coming to the forefront of conversations during worldwide lockdowns

While men orgasm 85% of the time they have sex on average, women only reach climax 63% of the time.

By Lindsay Dodgson

  • Female pleasure appears to be coming to the forefront of conversations around sex during the coronavirus pandemic.
  • Emjoy, an app that helps women learn more about their sexuality and needs, has seen a 160% increase in use since worldwide lockdowns began.
  • Insider spoke to sex and relationship experts about why this might be.
  • For starters, couples or single people who are socially distancing have more time to spend in their own company and work out what they like.
  • Couples who are isolating together may also be able to devote time to what they want to improve about their sex lives.

Sex is a pretty big topic of conversation right now, either because you’re stuck inside with a partner with little else to do, or you’re isolating alone and can’t have any.

Female pleasure appears to be a particular focus due to apps that provide information about women’s needs, and Facebook ads popping up for research centers like OMGYES which are exploring the specific ways women enjoy sexual touch.

Emjoy, an app that helps women learn more about their bodies and what they like through audio, has seen a 160% increase in use since worldwide lockdowns began.

“Being home for so long, people are looking for new resources to incorporate new healthy habits to their routines,” Emjoy’s CEO and cofounder Andrea Oliver told Insider. “Some of us have so much more free time in our hands, so we might as well put it to good use. And what better use than a good, dopamine-infused session of self-love?”

Time alone can make us face things we’ve been ignoring

Intimacy expert Dr Shirin Lakhani, from the Elite Aesthetics clinic, told Insider she’s seen many more social media posts about the “orgasm gap” and women’s sexual needs during lockdown, and has been contacted by many women who are worried about their libido or inability to climax.

“For many people, being in this lockdown situation has exacerbated a lot of things, including stress, poor diet and lifestyle, excess alcohol, and drug intake, which can all affect orgasms, or lack of them,” she said.

“On the other hand it has also resulted in people being forced to spend more time than usual at home with their partner and have more sex than usual, which in turn makes concerns such as the orgasm gap more noticeable and in time become more of an issue of concern.”

Relationship coach Sarah Louise Ryan told Insider many couples might be forced to think about whether they really are satisfied with their sex lives while isolating together.

“We often put our needs not being met down to many other factors in usual circumstances,” she said. “We talk about being too busy, we buy into the idea that sex is another one of those things we should fit into our calendars, we blame our lack of sexual fulfillment on not having the time and patience for exploration or stresses of external factors such as children, finances, or juggling it all.”

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Should I be out here milking prostates?

Everything you need to know about achieving a “dry orgasm.”

By Tracey Anne Duncan

I feel like I have a basic familiarity with sexual landscapes across the board but honestly, the prostate is kind of a mystery to me. I don’t have one and since I only had sex with people with vaginas for like ten years, I apparently missed some important innovations in the seminal sciences. I was today years old when I learned about prostate milking. But I am nothing if not DTF (down to find out, pervs) so I asked a urologist to help me investigate the latest vegan nut milk craze.

First of all, if you haven’t heard the term “prostate milking,” before that’s because it is a new colloquialism. What it refers to is prostate massage, though, which is not new at all. “I’m gay and I talk to a lot of my friends about sex,” Joshua Gonzalez, an LA-based urologist and sex educator for Astroglide, tells me. “Prostate stimulation amongst gay men is fairly common,” Gonzalez explained, but even he hadn’t heard it referred to as “milking,” which made me feel a lot better. If a gay dick doctor hasn’t heard the term, then it was probably invented by dude-bros and is therefore kinda sus.

Basically, what people are calling prostate milking is actually just prostate massage vigorous enough to get the prostate to secrete fluid, Gonzalez explains. Yes, in case you didn’t know, the prostate — a gland which is located just below the rectum but above the bladder of penis-havers — does make a kind of fluid. It’s definitely not milk, but it is a whitish liquid that is sort of the perfect base to carry sperm in because it’s rich with enzymes. Prostatic fluid — a.k.a. milk — makes up 20-30% of ejaculate, which is also comprised of semen and testicular fluid. In other words, prostatic fluid is not what we generally refer to as cum, but it is one of the main ingredients of cum.

Here’s the thing: It’s apparently kind of hard to get the prostate to secrete its fluid, which is why a lot of people refer to the orgasms produced by prostate milking as “dry orgasms.” But just because the name is kind of off, that doesn’t mean that the orgasms made by stimulating the prostate aren’t bangers. “Orgasm doesn’t necessarily have to do with fluid,” says Gonzalez, “it’s not that different from clitoral or vaginal orgasms.” In other words, if you have a vagina, you already know that you don’t have to squirt to have a good time, and neither do dicks. IYKYK.

So, then, should I be out here milking prostates or what? Gonzalez didn’t offer an opinion on my personal sex practices, but he does say that prostate stimulation is pretty great. “Direct prostate stimulation can be pleasurable,” says Gonzalez. But, he adds, it’s helpful to know where the prostate is before you go sticking your finger up your ass (or someone else’s). “For most people it’s not as deep into the rectum as their index finger.”

Like the clit, you will know the prostate when you find it, Gonzalez says. Some people call the prostate the P-spot because it’s kinda like the penis-haver’s G-spot. Gonzalez has some pro tips for this kind of anal adventure. “A lot of people will just sort of stick their finger in,” he says. But if you look at any prostate-specific toys, you will notice that they’re curved. That’s because you access through the rectum, but it’s actually more towards the front of the body, so you have to curve your finger and press forward to get at it.

So, if you’re milking yourself and you are laying on your back, press towards your belly button, says Gonzalez. If you’re on all fours and someone else is stimulating you, press down towards the belly button. Basically, no matter who’s milking who, press towards the navel to find the prostate. He recommends using a lot of lube and says that if anything feels painful, it’s time to stop.

Also, in case you’re scared that having your prostate stimulated will make you poop: It won’t. “If you don’t have any poop in the rectum, you won’t poop,” he explains. But, Gonzalez adds that having your rectum stimulated can make you feel like you are going to poop. If that happens, Gonzalez says to relax. In prostate milking as in life, clenching will make the whole project a lot less fun for everyone.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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From clitoral to explosive

— 5 types of orgasms every woman should know about

Which ones have you experienced?

By Shona Hendley

We speak to a ‘sexpert’ about how to achieve the many pleasurable – and elusive – types of O’s.

We all know that scene. The one where Meg Ryan’s character, Sally shows Harry (Billy Crystal) and everyone else at Katz Deli exactly how women can fake an orgasm in rom-com classic, When Harry Met Sally.

“I’ll have what she’s having,” another female diner responds once Sally’s faux climax is reached and she digs back into her coleslaw, summing up exactly what many, many other women were thinking and (let’s be honest) probably still are.

Because achieving orgasm is something that sex therapist, hypnotherapist and author, Dr Janet Hall says that she is frequently asked about in her sessions from women of all ages.

“Over my 40 years as a sex therapist I am astounded by how many women wanted me to teach them how to have an orgasm.”

While all orgasms are inherently pleasurable, they aren’t all the same. In fact, there are multiple types of orgasms and ways in which to achieve them.

“It is possible for a woman to have different types of orgasms depending on where she is stimulated and how and for how long,” Dr Hall explains. And while they can vary from clitoral, G-spot, A-spot, anal, nipple, throat, and other erogenous in the body, “the truth is, that most women are happy to concentrate on the first three listed above – their hottest spots in the vulva and vagina.”

So how do you achieve an orgasm in these hot spots? Body + Soul spoke to ‘sexpert’, Dr Hall for all the juicy details.

Clitoral Orgasms

Dr Hall says that “clitoral orgasms result from direct stimulation of the clitoris for about five minutes and last about fifteen seconds. Because the clitoral orgasm is easier to experience for most woman and quick to achieve, it is often the preferred way to orgasm.”

G-spot Orgasms

“The G-Spot is a spongy area as big as a fingernail and it is just inside and up to the front of the vagina. It can be elusive however and it is up to each woman to explore to find out their exact G-Spot position. At first it might seem just like the rest of the vagina wall but with continued rubbing pressure it swells with blood and fluid and it then feels like the surface of your tongue – a little bit rough and with ridges,” Dr Hall explains.

How do you achieve them?

For a G-spot orgasm during intercourse, Dr Hall says that “most women need time to build the pleasure in the G-Spot before they are ready for penetration.”

For heterosexual intercourse “you need to teach your man to push his penis at your G-Spot. This is easier when he enters from the woman when she is laying down on her front or raising her backside.”

The Blended Orgasm

“A Blended Orgasm is when both a clitoral and G-Spot orgasm occur simultaneously. These twin orgasms can last for a long time – peaking and subsiding over and over again for hours.”

How do you achieve them?

“It can be a balancing act to achieve. First you can try to pleasure the clitoris, then introduce a finger or toy to pleasure the G spot so that both areas are being pleasured.”

A-Spot or Cervical Orgasm

“The A-spot, anatomically known as “Anterior Fornix,” is the pocket of elastic tissue above the cervix in the back of the woman’s vagina. If you insert a finger, you’ll find a donut shaped (or cone shaped) ring of hard muscle at the top of the canal. This is the cervix, which is the entrance to the Uterus.

If you gently trace around this little donut/cone you’ll find a very smooth and elastic ring of tissue circling it. The top of this ring (closest to the belly) is the Anterior Fornix, or the A-Spot.”

How do you achieve them?

“Stroke it with the “come here” motion until you feel a burst of pleasure,” Dr Hall explains.

Explosive versus Implosive Orgasms

“The explosive orgasm is typical for the clitoral one which lasts less than fifteen seconds.

These orgasms are perfectly natural, but they can deplete us instead of feeding us with our life force energy.

Tantra teachers believe that we can learn to channel and move that energy back inside of us to experience a multitude of other orgasmic flavours and sensations! This is referred to as N.E.O (non-ejaculatory orgasmic tantra) also known as the Energetic Orgasm!”

How do we achieve them?

“We achieve this type of orgasm by squeezing the pelvic floor muscle in on the inhale just as we are getting close to orgasm (say 3.5 on the scale of pleasure if 5 is “I’m ejaculating”) to draw the sexual energy away from the genitals and towards the heart.

When we learn to implode with sexual energy, we can experience a whole new array of orgasmic sensations!”

Enjoy! And let the O force be with you.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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Understanding orgasms

— a simple guide to how they work

An orgasm from penetration alone may feel out of reach. But there are ways to do it.

Let’s just take a reality check quickly, not everyone with a vagina can orgasm with penetration alone. In fact, less than 30 per cent of vagina owners can reach climax through this method. Yet there are some ways you can lend yourself a helping hand to see if it is something you can achieve.

1. Understand vagina anatomy‍

First, make sure you understand vaginal anatomy and the parts that are most likely to lead to pleasure (and maybe orgasm) when stimulated. For most people the entrance and first third of the vagina are the most sensitive areas.

This may include the G-spot area, which is on the front wall of the vagina. The internal structure of the clitoris has a lot to do with why these parts can bring a lot of pleasure, so make sure you understand the full size and shape of the clit so you know what you’re working with.

Other areas that are sexually sensitive for some people are the cervix, “A-spot”, and perineal​ sponge.

So get familiar with all these sexy bits by checking out some good anatomy diagrams. It’s much easier to reach your destination if you have a good map.

2. Find your own sensitive areas and focus there‍

Understanding anatomy is just the starting point. The important thing is to apply it to your own body.

Experiment with stimulating different areas and see what brings pleasure. Do you enjoy deep penetration?

Do you prefer G-spot stimulation? Or pressure against the back wall around your perineum? Or somewhere else entirely? Whatever feels best for you and brings the most intensity of sensation is where you should focus.

3. Take your time to get aroused

The vagina can take longer to warm up than the clit, and getting that blood flow to the genital tissues is really important for your arousal, sensation, and chances of reaching the big O.

So spend some time on kissing, nipple play, dirty talk, and oral sex before moving to penetration to make sure your body is ready.

4. Start by trying blended orgasms

You may be working up to a hands-free orgasm during intercourse, but combining vaginal stimulation with clit stimulation is a good stepping stone.

Just do penetration for a while, and then add in clit stimulation when you feel you need it to reach orgasm.

Over time, delay adding in clit stimulation and see if eventually you can climax without it. Maybe yes, maybe no, but it’s worth a try.

5. Find the best position(s) for you

Cowgirl: Riding on top is the most successful position for achieving a hands-free orgasm during intercourse. Not only can you direct the penetration to hit your sweet spots, but you can also grind your clit on your partner’s body to maximise the sensation from all angles.‍

Knees-back missionary: Lie on your back and pull your knees up so your feet are raised off the bed. You may want to prop up your butt with a pillow for support. This is an effective G-spot position since it’s much easier to access that front wall of the vagina than it is during regular missionary. During penetration, angle the penis or toy to press that G-spot area if you know you like G-spot sensation.‍

Doggy: If you enjoy deep penetration, then doggy is a great option. You can also be more in control of the speed and depth, which can help you get the stimulation you want. Another good thing about doggy is it’s so easy to use a finger or toy on your clit, to help push you over the edge. ‍

Legs together: Some people find it easier to reach orgasm when their legs are close together rather than spread apart. Try having your legs together – you could be on your front, back, side, standing, it’s your choice! Have your partner straddle you while they’re penetrating you. Clench or pulse your pelvic and thigh muscles in this position to boost the intensity of sensations and help you reach the big O.

6. Slow and steady wins the race‍

A common error when trying to reach orgasm is thinking that hard-and-fast is best. While it may be preferred by some people, for many, too much pressure and friction for too long can numb the nerve-endings, and can feel uncomfortable.

So, although it’s counterintuitive, slow movements with a lighter pressure can actually feel way more intense. Yes, hard-and-fast is often preferred as a person gets closer to orgasm, but in the build up try to keep movements on the slow and steady side.

7. Try edging‍

Switching between slower and faster is also a great way to build up arousal and increase your chances of orgasm.

You may want to indulge in a bit of hot-and-heavy bed-bouncing activity, and then dial it back to slow and focussed thrusts for a couple of minutes.

Switching intensity during sex, aka “edging” is a popular technique to help with reaching and intensifying climax.

8. Breath, focus, and relax‍

Getting relaxed and feeling present in your body can help you focus on your vaginal sensations and really enjoy the pleasure.

Find ways to reduce your mental distraction such as choosing a relaxing time and place to have sex, starting with a massage or bath, and making sure there are no lingering disagreements you need to resolve with your partner as resentment is like a cold shower to your libido.

During sex, breathing slowly and deeply and focussing on your genital area can help you hone in on those sensations. You can think of it as “breathing into your p….” to bring relaxation and blood flow to the area.

9. Pay attention to your environment‍

Being in the right environment is really important to help you feel comfortable, relaxed, and in a good mental space.

That means: getting the lighting right for you, making sure the bed (or wherever you are) is comfy, and checking the temperature – are you warm enough? Focus on your pleasure without getting distracted.

10. Practise by yourself‍

Why not dedicate some time to practising solo? Using a dildo, try masturbating with penetration only. See what speed, angle, and depth feels good.

Pay attention to how your arousal builds, and to how the intensity of the sensation increases. As you get more practice, you might find you’re able to bring yourself closer to orgasm (and you might even get there). Once you’ve worked out how to get this type of pleasure from solo play, you’ll have more idea of the techniques to try with a partner.

11. Pelvic floor strength‍

Having a well-toned pelvic floor is important. It will allow you to grip more tightly on your partner’s penis or the dildo, and this can intensify the sensations you feel in your vagina.

Also, since an orgasm is basically a series of muscle contractions, having a toned pelvic floor is important so that these muscle contractions can happen. Kegel exercises can help improve your pelvic floor strength, just make sure you do them correctly, and be sure to evaluate first if they are right for you, as they’re not appropriate for everyone.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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Here’s Why Orgasming During Masturbation Can Be Easier Than During Sex

Here are the best ways to beat that pesky performance anxiety.

By Zachary Zane

Most of us love to have orgasms, which is why it can be frustrating when some of them come easier than others. You might find you can cum in less than a minute when you’re masturbating to porn by yourself, but then, when you’re with a partner, it’s a whole ‘nother story.

If that’s happening to you, I can confirm you’re not alone. As the sex advice columnist here at Men’s Health, I’ve received countless questions from men who can orgasm no problem during solo masturbation but can’t say the same for when they’re with a partner—even if they’re really attracted to them.

There are numerous possible reasons why you can’t reach completion when with a partner, and, not surprisingly—since your body is clearly capable of having an orgasm—most of them are in your head. (Not the head downstairs—the head that holds your brain.)

“The socially constructed stakes when sexually pleasuring oneself are undeniably different than when you’re [with one or more people],” explains Benjamin Goldman, MHC-LP, a therapist at Citron Hennessey Private Therapy. “During sex, the man is playing the role of a ‘performer,’” Goldman adds. (Not to mention that you might be self-conscious about your penis, worried you won’t be able to stay hard, or about a billion other common stressors.) Meanwhile, during masturbation, you have no audience, making it easier to relax and enjoy the experience.

When you’re stressed about performing, you’re not going to be able to perform. It’s a vicious self-fulfilling prophecy. “Furthermore, when it comes to performance anxiety, we can develop self-downing thoughts that trigger the same hormones and neurotransmitters that the body pumps when you’re stressed or anxious,” Goldman says.

While that loop is really challenging to break, luckily, it’s not impossible.

So, how do you start orgasming with a partner?

The key is reducing anxiety and stress, so here are some tips for getting out of your head when you’re in bed with another partner.

1. Remember that porn is fantasy.

You should not be comparing yourself to the 10-inch dudes who are seemingly pounding away for hours. You don’t see what happens off-screen: all the times he can’t get hard, how he couldn’t cum while doing the money shot, so he’s watching porn on his phone while shooting on their face, etc. Porn isn’t real. So stop expecting to perform like a porn star. If you’re pressuring yourself to perform like all the dudes you see in porn, you’re gonna be on a one-way street to anxiety town—and orgasms require relaxation, not stress.

2. Cool it on watching porn.

Not sure how? Here are some tips! While I’m pro-porn, a 2019 systematic review of 184 articles published in the Journal of Clinical Medicine found that high porn consumption is correlated with desensitization. So if you’re consistently watching kinky 25-person BDSM orgies, it’s going to be tough to orgasm when you’re having missionary sex with just one other person.

3. Incorporate sex toys.

This might not fix the psychological aspect, but my god, do vibrating cock rings and butt plugs feel goddamn amazing. If there’s a toy that you like to use during masturbation, consider using it with your partner! Maybe you even do mutual masturbation side by side, so you’re sort of bridging the gap between solo time and partner play. We have countless articles at Men’s Health with sex toy recommendations, but I’d check out best sex toys for men, best sex toys for couples, best cock rings, and best prostate massagers.

4, Communication, communication, communication!

“Communication and a sense of safety and are essential tools to have more mutually satisfying sex,” Goldman says. “Communicating about your sexual wants and tending to the wants of your partner might help enable more orgasms.” When you feel comfortable and connected with your partner, it’s easier to enjoy sex. When they know exactly what you like, and you know their turn-ons—so you know they’re experiencing pleasure—that also makes it a lot easier to have a fun and relaxed time. This will increase the likelihood of you orgasming.

Additionally, before having sex, I’d let your partner know that you struggle orgasming when with another person. If you want to be cutesy, you can even say, “It’s just a sign that I’m a little nervous because I like you.”

Often when a man can’t cum, the partner thinks it’s their problem. They think, “Is he not into me?” “Am I not hot enough?” “Am I doing something wrong?” So then they feel insecure (or lash out), which creates a terrible sexual dynamic. You’re actually more likely to orgasm when you address it because you know it’s okay if you don’t finish!

Remember, sex isn’t all about orgasming.

Yes, orgasms feel amazing. Yes, we should all strive to have them. “However, it might be valuable to reframe the goal of sex as an orgasm altogether,” Goldman says. “By developing communication and sense of safety, partners may conclude that orgasm, in fact, is not the end goal of sex.”

Let’s be real, guys; sex still feels damn good when you can’t cum. Having an orgasm isn’t the end-all-be-all of sex. So, if you sometimes (or often) can’t, don’t fret. It just means you can have sex for longer, which is not a bad silver lining.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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13 Things to Know About Female Orgasms

Including How to Find Yours

by Adrienne Santos-Longhurst

1. Is this a certain type of orgasm?

No, “female orgasm” is an all-encompassing term for any type of orgasm related to female genitalia.
It could be clitoral, vaginal, even cervical — or a mix of all three. That said, your genitalia isn’t your only option when it comes to achieving the big O.

Read on for tips on where to touch, how to move, why it works, and more.

2. It can be a clitoral orgasm

Direct or indirect stimulation of the clitoris can lead to a clitoral orgasm. When you get your rub on just right, you’ll feel the sensation build in your pleasure bud and peak.

Try this

Your fingers, palm, or a small vibrator can all help you have a clitoral orgasm.

Make sure your clitoris is wet and begin gently rubbing in a side-to-side or up-and-down motion.

As it begins to feel good, apply faster and harder pressure in a repetitive motion.

When you feel your pleasure intensify, apply even more pressure to the motion to take yourself over the edge.

3. It can be a vaginal orgasm

Although few people are able to climax with vaginal stimulation alone, it sure can be fun trying!

If you’re able to make it happen, prepare for an intense climax that can be felt deep inside your body.

The front vaginal wall is also home to the anterior fornix, or A-spot.

Older research suggests that stimulating the A-spot can result in intense lubrication and even orgasm.

Try this

Fingers or a sex toy should do the trick. Since the pleasure comes from the vaginal walls, you’ll want to experiment with width. Do this by inserting an extra finger or two into the vagina, or try a sex toy with some extra girth.

To stimulate the A-spot, focus the pressure on the front wall of the vagina while sliding your fingers or toy in and out. Stick with the pressure and motion that feels the best, and let the pleasure mount.

4. It can be a cervical orgasm

Cervical stimulation has the potential to lead to a full-body orgasm that can send waves of tingly pleasure from your head to your toes.

And this is an orgasm that can keep on giving, lasting quite a while for some.

Your cervix is the lower end of your uterus, so reaching it means going in deep.

Try this

Being relaxed and aroused is key to achieving a cervical orgasm. Use your imagination, rub your clitoris, or let your partner work some foreplay magic.

The doggy-style position allows for deep penetration, so try being on all fours with a penetrative toy or partner.

Start off slow, gradually working your way deeper until you find a depth that feels good, and keep at it so the pleasure can build.

5. Or a mix of all the above

A combo orgasm can be achieved by pleasuring your vagina and clitoris simultaneously.

The result: a powerful climax that you can feel inside and out.

Be sure to supersize your combo by adding some other erogenous zones to the mix.

Try this

Use both your hands to double your pleasure, or combine fingers and sex toys. Rabbit vibrators, for example, can stimulate the clitoris and vagina at the same time and are perfect for mastering the combo orgasm.

Use parallel rhythms while playing with your clitoris and vagina, or switch it up with fast clitoral action and slow vaginal penetration.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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The female orgasm

— How exactly does it work?

BY EVANGELINE POLYMENEAS

Let’s get that O.

Many have looked far and wide in search of the elusive female orgasm. Those who have experienced one from penetrative sex have the power to congregate vulva owners everywhere to tell the tale of how they reached climax. The journey is filled with awkward moments, queefs and repetitive movement but they’ve lived to tell the tale and the rest of us want answers.

There is a myriad of myths surrounding the female orgasm and an oversaturation of misinformation. When I Googled it, millions of results appeared all promising 11 different types of female orgasms. If there are so many options, why is it so hard to get just one?

Too many of my friends answer a resounding ‘no’ to the question of whether they orgasmed during their latest sexual escapade, so I spoke to sex and pleasure coach, Clarke Rose, in an attempt to understand why.

“There is a huge orgasm gap. A lot of people with vulvas aren’t cumming,” Clarke tells me. So it’s a national pleasure emergency. Maybe we just don’t know what we’re searching for, so what is an orgasm exactly?

“An orgasm is such an expansive thing to define,” Clarke says. “I like to think of orgasms in a non-clinical sense as a high index of pleasure for anybody who’s feeling it. Technically speaking, it’s a peak of intense pleasure that sometimes creates altered states of consciousness and is usually accompanied by involuntary rhythmic contractions of the pelvic floor.”

Essentially, euphoria. That sounds all well and good, but what about the other 10 orgasms Google promised? I ask Clarke whether there are different sorts of female orgasms and the answer was not what I was expecting.

“Yes and no. Orgasm can be stimulated from different parts of your body, [for example], some people can have an orgasm from their nipples being stimulated, some from anal sex, others from penetration, but they all achieve the same orgasm. It’s not like you have a vaginal orgasm or a clitoral orgasms. They are all the same thing, they are just being stimulated from a different area.”

Clarke notes that only 30 per cent of women can trigger orgasm from internal stimulation and that percentage doesn’t differentiate between whether the penetration was accompanied by clitoral stimulation or not. She attributes this low percentage to differences in anatomy. “It’s a matter of how much your urethral sponge, which sits right about the G-spot, is sensitive and full of erectile tissue.”

Clarke says we tend to hierarchise female orgasms in ways that we don’t with male orgasms. “For a woman, people ask whether they can cum from their clit, or vagina, or whether they can have a nipple orgasm, whereas with men, no one is asking if they had a blowjob orgasm, or a penetrative orgasm – their orgasms just get to be orgasms.”

Penis owners seem to orgasm so easily, so I wondered if there was a difference between male orgasms and female orgasms. “Anatomically speaking it’s super interesting because a person who has a penis, orgasms for biological reasons,” Clarke explains. “They need to orgasm to ejaculate for the sperm to come out and make a baby.”

She goes on to explain that there is no biological need for females to orgasm. At first, this idea might seem anti-feminist, but Clarke explains that it’s actually quite interesting. “When we were foetuses, we were made up of all the same parts [as males], we [females] just develop differently. People with vulvas got this ability to orgasm because men can, which is a fantastic bonus to our sexuality without the pressure of needing to [orgasm] every time or we fail.”

Despite the lack of biological pressure to orgasm, a lot of vulva owners can’t seem to reach climax with partners but have less of a problem on their own. So what’s the barrier that’s stopping many of us from achieving the big O?

“When we are with somebody, other things come up – maybe we are a little bit self-conscious, or afraid to ask for what we want, or are too focused on our partners,” Clarke explains. “Whereas when we are on our own, we can make whatever weird face we want. A lot of women also use toys to masturbate which makes it really easy. However, when you’re with a partner and they are just using their hand or tongue, it doesn’t compare to whatever eight-speed vibrator you have at home. It can be a bit more difficult for your body and mind to recognise that as a trigger for orgasm.”

Although there are definitely micro reasons that could prevent partner orgasms, women’s orgasms have been repressed at a cultural level as well. “Our culture prioritises male anatomy and male pleasure. We all understand the anatomy of a penis, it’s so drilled into our heads, but we don’t understand the anatomy of a vulva. Historically we have repressed women’s sexuality. We want women to be receptive, polite and pleasing and not cause a big fuss,” explains Clarke.

Men have seen themselves in porn and in sex scenes in film and television ask for what they need sexually and receive it. They have heard the language required to ask, but women haven’t. It seems unnatural to ask for what we want, and Clarke says a lot of men probably don’t know how to listen without their ego getting involved.

“If you can’t orgasm and it’s really stressing you out, you’re not alone. There are a lot of women who can’t. Definitely look into seeing a sexologist or a sex coach if it’s something you want to work on,” says Clarke. The female orgasm is complex and it’s complicated, but we all deserve to reach it if we want to.

“Women put a lot of pressure on themselves to orgasm a certain way,” Clarke says. “Whether you cum with a vibrator, or by your hand, or whether you can cum on your own or with a partner – however you orgasm is valid. Period. Don’t put extra stress on yourself to cum upside down with mind stimulation – however you cum is beautiful.”

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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Everything You Need to Know About Orgasmic Yoga

by Gabrielle Kassel

If you like sushi and you like burritos, odds are you’ll like sushi burritos. Using similar logic, it’s a good guess that, if you enjoy orgasming and practicing yoga, you’ll like orgasmic yoga.

Yep, orgasmic yoga is a thing. Read on to learn what it is, plus if it actually involves having a big O.

Orgasmic yoga is an explorative practice that uses arousal to help connect people to their inner sexuality through:

  • yoga
  • breathwork
  • pelvic floor contractions
  • burlesque
  • belly dancing

“The whole thing is a sensual, orgasmic practice that stimulates sexual energy through hip movements and core engagement,” explains Gabriel Isadora, the legacy owner of OYoga, an orgasmic yoga provider.

Orgasmic yoga — sometimes known as orgasm yoga, yogasm, OYoga, and orgasmic meditation — may sound like some new age gimmick. But the practice (primarily) stems from Shakti yoga.

In Hindu, Shakti means power, or feminine energy. Shakti yoga is a practice that revolves around helping you harness inner feminine power, primarily through movement.

According to Isadora, the practice also incorporates some Kundalini yoga.

“Kundalini yoga, like orgasmic yoga, is all about breathwork, activating sexual energy, and connecting with your inner chakras,” he says.

No, but the two practices are similar.

Like orgasmic yoga, tantric yoga combines yoga poses with breathwork, meditation, and occasionally chakra work and chanting.

The main difference is that the goal of orgasmic yoga is (usually) embodiment, empowerment, and orgasm, while the goal of tantric yoga is (usually) embodiment, empowerment, and pleasure.

“When OYoga becomes a partnered experience, you can see more of the connection to tantra because you’ll see positions like Yab Yum incorporated,” says Isadora.

(Yab Yum, if you don’t know, is the iconic tantric position.)

Sometimes the terms “orgasmic yoga” and “orgasmic meditation” are used interchangeably, but they’re two (very!) different practices.

While orgasmic yoga is primarily done as a solo, clothed practice, orgasmic meditation is most commonly done partnered and unclothed.

More specifically, orgasmic meditation usually involves someone receiving direct genital stroking from someone else and orgasmic yoga does not.

“The main goal of orgasmic yoga is to stimulate sexual energy and become sexually empowered,” Isadora says. “People also have had orgasms while doing orgasmic yoga, though that’s not the first goal.”

Yogasm (that’s yoga + orgasm) are just as they sound: orgasms that happen amidst a yoga practice.

And, yes, they’re real.

These are usually the same kind of orgasms as exercise-induced orgasms or coregasms, says Debby Herbenick, PhD, a professor at Indiana University School of Public Health and the author of “The Coregasm Workout: The Revolutionary Method for Better Sex Through Exercise.”

These orgasms, she explains, usually occur in response to core-demanding exercises. That’s because the pelvic floor muscles are part of the core, and some research shows that orgasms are essentially just lots of little pelvic floor contractions.

“We don’t know how exactly coregasm works, but there seems to be something about exhausting the core muscles that heightens chances of coregasm for a subset of people,” she adds.

Because many yoga poses are demanding on the core, it’s possible for someone to orgasm while doing them.

Because people of all genders and genitals have pelvic floor muscles, people of all genders and genitals can have a yogasm, Herbenick says.

If having an orgasm is your goal, Herbenick recommends focusing on core-demanding postures.

For example:

“We don’t really hear from people having coregasms from just one or two crunches or Roman chair leg lifts, but we often do from 50 or 100,” she says. “So one way to increase [your] likelihood of orgasming is by increasing the number of reps.”

Another option is to do more exercises that really use the core, like chin-ups and pull-ups.

“For [these] it may take fewer reps, because they’re so much more demanding on the core, and therefore can more quickly exhaust the muscle,” she says.

It depends.

According to Herbenick, many people who can have coregasms and yogasms don’t actually want to. Why? Because it can be messy! Especially for those who squirt or ejaculate.

“Of course some people do enjoy having them,” she says. “Everyone has to find their own path.”

No worries.

“Exploring how you can maneuver your body in new and pleasurable ways is reward enough,” Herbenick says.

And, of course, if you want to you can always try again.

The best way to find an orgasmic yoga provider near you is by asking Google. Search “Orgasmic yoga near me” or “orgasmic yoga in [insert city here].”

You might also look into some online orgasmic yoga providers. For example:

You can also practice on your own with the help of “Orgasmic Yoga: Masturbation, Meditation, and Everything In Between” by Martha Tara Lee, DHS.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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What Is A Ruined Orgasm?

Why Some People Love Them + How To Try

by Morgan Mandriota

Some folks dream of being able to someday have an orgasm, while others get off from having their partner spoil their big O. Yep, you read that right—ruined orgasms are totally a thing that some people enjoy. If you’re curious, here’s what you should know about ruined orgasms before attempting to wreck your or someone else’s next climax.

What is a ruined orgasm?

“A ruined orgasm is typically a type of control play found in the BDSM community whereby the dominant person gets the submissive person highly aroused and then leaves them hanging to experience a very low-quality, low- to no-sensation type of orgasm, if any at all,” explains AASECT-certified sex therapist Jenni Skyler, Ph.D., LMFT, CST. So rather than feeling a 10/10 euphoric explosion of pleasure, the sub would feel a not-so-satisfying 2/10 instead. Yay.

Ruined orgasms can happen by accident, too. In fact, you might’ve actually had one in the past! “Many of us have experienced them; most of us just don’t eroticize the experience,” says sociologist and clinical sexologist Sarah Melancon, Ph.D. For example, she says one can occur if someone walks in on you masturbating or you get distracted right as you’re about to finish. (I can vouch that that’s happened to me before with a phone call from my mom, and it sucked.)

Melancon also notes that this practice is far more common in the world of female domination with male subs (which is why male-gendered language and penis talk may be used moving forward!), but people of any gender can enjoy it and should totally try it out if it sounds appealing.

What ruined orgasms feel like.

Does a ruined orgasm hurt or feel good for the person having it? Does it even feel like anything at all? Well, it can make the recipient feel…a few different things. Physically, it’s kinda like blue balls. “It can feel like a very subtle orgasm without the release, intensity, or climatic feeling typically experienced by orgasm,” says Skyler. Melancon adds that “sometimes ruined orgasms can feel a bit painful or uncomfortable to feel the contractions of an orgasm without the pleasure.”

Emotionally, it can feel very frustrating, disappointing, and unsatisfying. “If the stimulation continues to a point where ejaculation is inevitable, his partner can still distract or humiliate him to ruin the sensation of orgasm,” says Melancon. “In addition, the feeling of humiliation may accompany the experience regardless, especially if the ‘ruined’ partner twitches, spasms, moans, and groans at the sensation. It can feel embarrassing, as if they have no control over their own body.”

Ironically, though, despite how sad ruined orgasms may sound like they feel, they can be pretty pleasurable if someone’s super into them. “Some men have a fetish for this and want their partner to ruin their orgasm,” says Melancon. “These guys often enjoy the tease-and-denial aspect and/or want to be ‘forced’ to do something to ‘earn’ a good orgasm.” 

How to give or have a ruined orgasm:

1. Ensure you have consent.

Friendly reminder: Never assume it’s OK to engage in a sexual activity without receiving enthusiastic consent from all parties. It’s especially important to protect both people during BDSM with clear communication, boundaries, and consent conversations. “Make sure both partners agree to this type of sex play,” says Skyler…then, proceed!

2. Agree upon a safe word.

Safewords or safe signals are important for communication and safety, explains Melancon. So before playing, remember to pick a unique word or action that either of you can express to stop the experience at any given time—no questions asked.

“There aren’t many true risks here, but if he’s uncomfortable and wants to stop, he should be free to express himself, and it’s a good idea to discuss how beforehand,” she says. “Likewise, his partner should feel free to stop teasing him if she isn’t feeling into it herself.”

Don’t know what to choose? “Watermelon.” You’re welcome.

3. Do your research.

Skyler reminds those interested in attempting ruined orgasms to read up on dom/sub power dynamics before starting this type of play. Learning the how-to’s from reliable sources on YouTube or well-known industry professionals can help ensure you have a safer, more educated, and pleasurable experience.

4. Focus on teasing your partner.

Ruined orgasms have to do with the amazing buildup and disappointing letdown of that otherwise long-awaited, exciting moment. That’s where the art of teasing comes in! “Slowly tease and build up the sexual tension inside his body. [You] may start and stop just as he’s really getting into it, then, after a pause, start back up again,” Melancon suggests.

5. Stop all stimulation prior to climax.

Melancon reminds us that a ruined orgasm is when all stimulation is stopped just prior to orgasm. So right as he’s about to orgasm, simply stop all movement and stimulation. “If you’ve timed it right and he’s on the path of no return, his body may begin to convulse and he will moan with discomfort instead of pleasure,” she says. Hint: If that happens, you’re doing it right!

Ruined orgasm versus edging.

There’s a pretty clear difference between ruined orgasms and edging, which involves getting right up to the point where you’re about to orgasm, stopping temporarily, and then building back up again. One results in maximum pleasure, whereas the other results in minimal pleasure. (Can you guess which is which?)

“While edging is very pleasurable and results in a longer window of arousal followed typically by an intense orgasm. A ruined orgasm is like the arousal petering out without climax after getting highly aroused,” Skyler explains.

“Tease and deny is a related kink and is exactly what it sounds like—one partner teases the other until they’re very aroused but stops before the point of orgasm,” adds Melancon. What’s the difference? Stimulation stops sooner and isn’t meant to ruin the orgasm, she says, but just amp up the teasing aspect.

Ruined orgasms may not sound physically pleasurable, so what’s the appeal for each party? Turns out there are many reasons people might enjoy ruined orgasms.

For one, it’s a fetish (predominantly among men). But while it’s more common for men to desire a ruined orgasm, Melancon says some women find it fun. “It really turns the dominant heterosexual script on its head, where his orgasm is no longer the most important or defining moment of sex.”

However, a lot of the excitement boils down to having or lacking control. “Partners may enjoy the power play and being able to choose where, when, how, and, most importantly, IF [they] get [their] pleasure,” says Melancon. Skyler adds that the power play appeal lies around the “short-term withholding and/or denial of physical pleasure for the larger, mental erotic charge. Many people playing in this arena enjoy giving up the physical sensations of more vanilla-known pleasure in order to experience a more mental [excitement] around power exchange.”

Last but not least on the list of perks, ruined orgasms can even help people with penises last longer during sex. According to Melancon, “if he’s allowed to ejaculate but without the pleasurable release of orgasm, he may remain sexually aroused and thus able to engage in more sexual activities.”

So whether you’re potentially into the power play, pain, or twisted pleasure of it all, try having your next orgasm ruined. Who knows? You might be way more into it than you expect.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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How to Talk to Your Partner About the Orgasm Gap

by Hannah Resnick

Have you ever heard of the orgasm gap? Even if you are familiar with the term, you might not discuss it with your friends or even your partner, but it may still be present in your own sex life — especially if your sexual partners are male. The orgasm gap, also called the pleasure gap, is defined by Psychology Today as “the fact that in heterosexual sexual encounters, men have more orgasms than women.” Though often blamed on an alleged “biological difference,” it’s clear the orgasm gap is a product of our cultural views which prioritize male pleasure over female pleasure. Studies have also shown that women have more orgasms masturbating than with partners, and lesbian women have significantly more orgasms than straight women. This solidifies the fact that there is a huge problem with the way society sees men versus women and not with women’s bodies.

The issue with the orgasm gap is pretty clear: male-attracted women deserve to enjoy sex and orgasm as much as our male partners. But discussing the orgasm gap with a partner can be uncomfortable and even invalidating, especially for those who aren’t used to prioritizing their own pleasure. POPSUGAR spoke to Todd Baratz, a certified sex therapist and licensed mental health counselor, who shared some insight into how exactly we can close the orgasm gaps in relationships — starting with the relationships we have with ourselves.

1. Learn How History, Culture, and Politics Have Fueled Your Understanding of Sexual Pleasure

“Anxiety about prioritizing your pleasure is part of the orgasm gap,” Baratz told POPSUGAR. It reflects shame connected to “what it means to prioritize your pleasure and want more sexually.” Our outdated gender roles play a heavy part in this, as Baratz shared that cisgender women are socialized to believe that their pleasure isn’t as important as their cis male counterparts. “It’s easy to default to the values implied in the orgasm gap,” he said. “So the first thing you want to focus on is understanding yourself, your sexuality, and how politics, history, and culture have shaped it. Then you want to share what you learned about yourself with your partner.”

To really dig into this, reexamine gender and social constructs that you may have been taught growing up — i.e. how you were expected to act in a certain situation; morals you were expected to uphold; things that were thrust upon you by society, pop culture, and politics — and really ask yourself what you want. Breaking free from things you were taught from an early age can be extremely difficult, especially when there can be a lot of shame and guilt associated with sex and owning your sexuality, but taking a step back to reevaluate it is key in understanding your sexual needs.

2. Masturbate

Baratz explained that while there isn’t an order to whether you should talk to your partner or focus on learning what you like first, “it never hurts to know yourself first.” So if you don’t already masturbate, Baratz advises you to start! (If you haven’t masturbated a lot in the past and feel intimidated, check out our best tips for getting the job done.) Plus, if you do choose to focus on yourself first before bringing the issue to your partner, you can also immediately bring up specific things you like in order to enhance and prioritize your pleasure going forward.

“Talking about sex — no matter what the issue — is important if you want to experience arousal, pleasure, and an orgasm. Period,” Baratz said. “Start talking about sex right from the beginning of your relationship. And if you haven’t — start now! It’s never too late.” Making this a habit will ensure you and your partner are both on the same page and getting what you want.

4. Push Through the Discomfort of Discussing Your Pleasure

Number three is much easier said than done, right? It’s normal to feel weird about talking about pleasure with your partner if you’ve never done it before! How do you even bring it up? What do you say? “You [might] feel anxious or uncomfortable if you’ve never talked about sex or your pleasure openly,” Baratz explained. “Push through it — obviously only if you feel safe to do so. But it does require action, verbal communication, and some level of risk.” Only you can voice your needs.

5. Let Go of Myths About How You Should Orgasm

“You don’t have to come at the same time as your partner,” Baratz told POPSUGAR. “You can [also] use your own hands — your partner doesn’t need to be the one to get you off. Focus on bringing the exact same movements, rhythms, and types of touch that you employ during masturbation to partnered sex.” Basically, forget about those perfectly rehearsed movie sex scenes where the couple orgasms at the exact same time. That’s now how things are in real life, so experiment, explore, and learn what works for you.

Getting to know your body and having ongoing communication with your partner(s) is the ultimate way to close the pleasure gap. “You can work on teaching your partner and yourself all at once, but it has to start somewhere,” Baratz said, adding that, above all, the most important aspect in all of this is to “make sure you are with a partner who is safe and caring.”

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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How to have a better orgasm

– whether on your own or with a partner

How to have a better orgasm is easier than you think, all you need to do is follow our simple, expert rules…

By

Want to know how to have a better orgasm? Course you do. There’s nothing worse than having an orgasm that leaves you feeling, well, a little deflated. But, sadly, it happens – even if you are using one of the best vibrators.

“No two orgasms are exactly the same,” says Annabelle Knight, sex and relationship expert at sexual wellness brand Lovehoney. “Some feel so good that they blow your socks off but others, while pleasurable, may not have the same level of intensity.”

But, luckily, there are things you can do about it to help. “The intensity of the orgasm is all linked in to the quality of the sex that proceeded it,” says Annabelle. “The better the sex, the better, and often longer, the orgasm. Plus, an orgasm can often be more intense if you refrain from sex for a few days. And orgasms can be a little less intense if you have sex repeatedly over a short space of time.”

Want to find out more? Here’s everything you need to know about how to have a better orgasm…

How to have a better orgasm on your own

Going solo? Here’s Annabelle’s top tips for women for achieving a better orgasm:

  1. Try a toy
    “Toys are fabulous as they take all the hard work and do it for you, especially those with different settings and intensities. They allow you to tailor make your orgasm and can provide you with a variety of sensations each and every time.”
  2. Use lube
    “Lubricant reduces friction and drag during masturbation. The slick sensations will make stimulation easier and lead to a far more indulgent experience.”
  3. Get yourself in the mood
    “For many women reading an erotic novel is the best way to get them in the mood. A book is far less obvious than just watching porn, especially when you consider that on the whole the female mind is far more imaginative than the male counterpart, especially when it comes to sex. A sexy book is the perfect way to kick-start those creative juices and to get you in the mood.”
  4. Explore your erogenous zones
    “Women have 25 of them. Yes, 25. Try stimulating some of the less obvious ones like the belly button, lower back, inner wrist and the perineum, the highly sensitive patch of skin between the anus and the vagina. Many of us are completely unaware of all the pleasure zones on our bodies and we are missing out on a lot of sexual happiness by not exploring them all. Everyone is different and responds in different ways to different kinds of touch. Knowledge is the key when trying to improve sexual experience.”

How to have a better orgasm with your partner

“There are lots of simple techniques couples can use to ensure they have better orgasms,” says Annabelle. Here are her tips to try:

  1. Your most important sex organ is your brain
    “It sounds obvious, but the best sex happens when you have a deep connection with your partner. Half of men (48%) and 39% of women reckon that love is the most important factor in achieving sexual happiness, according to research by Lovehoney.”
  2. Take on the mindset you had in your first week of dating
    “Remember those early milestones in the relationship: the first time you saw them, the first kiss and the first time you had sex. Cherish those memories and try to recreate the excitement you both felt.”
  3. Variety is the spice of life
    “Eat the same meal every night and you will soon get bored of it. Why do you think that sex is any different? Too many couples get stuck in a sex rut where they do the same things, at the same time with the same results. Sex becomes routine rather than something special which you look forward to. Mix it up in whatever way works for you: pick a different room in the house to have sex each time; drive to the countryside and find a secluded spot for your passion; try having sex in the morning instead of the evening; or treat yourselves to a new sex toy. Anything which keeps things fun and breaks the routine.”
  4. Don’t be greedy
    “Very few couples have consistently great sex every single time. Most of us experience a mixture of fantastically great sessions, ‘ordinary’ shags and the odd funny incident throughout our relationships. Even couples who rate their sex life as fantastic admit only 2-3 sessions out of every 10 are sheet-grabbing material, so yes, enjoy the phenomenal sessions, but appreciate the good ones just as much.”
  5. Kissing is key
    “A lot of couples underestimate the importance of kissing, which is a shame because it’s the perfect way to establish intimacy, and is arguably the most important act of foreplay. Because kissing usually kicks off any sexual activity, knowing how to kiss well can set the tone for the whole evening. Whether it’s lots of tongue, no tongue, nibbling, light pecks or deep, romantic kisses, knowing what your partner enjoys is key to kicking things off right.”

Techniques for how to have a better orgasm

The best advice for how to have a better orgasm? Try to relax – stress and orgasms don’t mix. 

“Higher levels of cortisol are associated with anxiety and stress emotions, and high cortisol can suppress sex hormones that impact desire,” says Annabelle. “Having sex when you’re feeling anxious is also basically like asking your mind to multitask, which is hard to do. You are faced with two competing interests for the same neurological system – your anxiety and your sexual activity. It’s not surprising you may struggle to get in the mood.”

But it is worth persevering. “Sex is a great way to relieve stress,” says Annabelle. “The benefits include release of endorphins and other hormones that elevate mood. It’s also great exercise, which itself is an effective stress reliever.”

Here’s Annabelle’s tips to aid relaxation and improve the quality of your orgasms:

  1. Talk to your partner
    “Your partner may not be aware that you are feeling stressed, so by acknowledging that worry may be causing you sexual issues is the first step to regaining your sex life. It might also encourage your partner to take some responsibilities off your shoulders. Research has shown that sharing the chores is one of the secrets to a good relationship. Getting help at home can help you feeling less tired and more in the mood for sex. If you are on your own, talk about your issues with friends via Facetime or Zoom.”
  2. Make time for sex
    “Making time for sex play and to feel sexual is essential. Enjoy prolonged foreplay, intimate massage or just kiss and cuddle to lower those stress levels. Set the alarm 30 minutes earlier and enjoy wake-up sex.”
  3. Ditch the tech
    “Keep the phone out of the bedroom unless you are using it to film the action! One in four of us text before we go to sleep and over one third of people take their laptop to bed, so make sure you don’t fall into that trap to avoid stress before bedtime. Checking work emails before bedtime is likely to boost stress just when you don’t need it. Leave them till the morning.”
  4. Get more sleep
    “Stress can affect our sleeping patterns, but a good night’s sleep keeps our sexual engines humming. Healthy people who have good sleep patterns are going to be more open to being sexual.”

What to do if you don’t have a better orgasm right away

Try not to feel defeated if you don’t have a better orgasm right away. “You shouldn’t ever feel deflated after an orgasm because sex should always be a positive thing done consensually,” says Annabelle. “It’s just that some orgasms are better than others.”

Try to distract yourself for a bit. “Orgasms are a huge part of sexual satisfaction, but focusing on them too much can actually prevent you from achieving regular orgasms,” says Annabelle. “Instead, focus on your own individual pleasure and on what feels good in the moment. This is called ‘non demanding touch’ and is important in bringing you and your partner together through activities such as sensual massage or mutual masturbation.”

How to always have an orgasm

Just want an orgasm, and not necessarily one that’s “better” than normal? 

“Nothing is ‘fool proof’ when it comes to sex,” says Annabelle. “We are humans, not robots. The quality of the sex we enjoy is determined by so many things including physical wellbeing and the emotional connection you have with your partner as well as more practical considerations such as how much alcohol you have drunk beforehand.”

Sounds familiar? “By using good sexual techniques and communicating openly with your partner you can certainly greatly improve the frequency and intensity of your orgasm,” says Annabelle. “But it would be wrong to say that you could fool-proof the whole process. No one can do that, no matter how good they are at sex.”

What happens if a woman doesn’t climax?

Been sexually active for a while and never had an orgasm at all?

“It’s uncommon, but not impossible for women to struggle to climax,” says Annabelle. “Taking certain medications, stress, inadequate stimulation and some medical conditions can all contribute to difficulty in reaching orgasm.”

Worried it’s something more serious? “Anorgasmia is the persistent inability to achieve orgasm despite responding to sexual stimulation. It’s a recognised medical term.” Sounds like you? “A woman over 40 who doesn’t think she has ever had an orgasm should see her GP – she is denying herself one of the greatest pleasures life has to offer,” says Annabelle. “Her doctor will be able to determine whether the root cause is physical or psychological. Sometimes there can be a very simple solution such as the use of lubrication to make foreplay and intercourse less painful, particularly in women who struggle physically to self-lubricate.”

Why do some people struggle to orgasm?

Wondering if your problem with having an orgasm is physical or psychological? “Both factors are significant, but I tend to find that physical reasons are more common,” says Annabelle. “It really comes down to poor sexual technique and a lack of stimulation. Remember only one in three women can regularly climax through intercourse alone without further clitoral stimulation. That means if you don’t provide some extra help, seven out of ten women are unlikely to have an orgasm during sex. That is an awful lot of women. Too many women are afraid to address this fundamental issue and enjoy the sex they deserve.”

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!