More SEX WISDOM With Shannon Chavez — Podcast #349 — 10/10/12

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hello sex fans! Welcome back.

The remarkable Dr Shannon Chavez is back with again this week for Part 2 of our conversation for this SEX WISDOM show.

As you recall from last week, Shannon is a clinical psychologist and sexologist with a certification in the diagnosis and treatment of sexual disorders. And she is one of the co-founders of the revolutionary SHE (Sexual Health Experts) Clinic in Arizona.

But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1 of our chat, did you? Well not to worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in the Podcast Archive right here on my site.. All ya gotta do is use the search function in the header; type in Podcast #348 and Voilà! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

Shannon and I discuss:

  • The pressing need for adult sex education;
  • The sex positive movement;
  • The political aspects of sexual health advocacy;
  • Preorgasmia;
  • Learning to find pleasure in your body;
  • An outline of her therapeutic intervention;
  • Premature ejaculation and sexual satisfaction;
  • The importance of sexual play;
  • The need for kink-positive healing and helping professionals;
  • Her inspirations and her sexual heroes.

Shannon invites you to visit her on the SHE site HERE! You can also find her on Facebook HERE! And she’s on Twitter HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

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A Labor Of (self) Love

Our brief summer holiday is coming rapidly to an end. The Dr Dick Review Crew is straggling back home and our podcasts will resume on Wednesday, 09/05/12. But today is Labor Day and I think we should acknowledge those who labor at self-love.

Name: Amy
Gender: female
Age: 23
Location: salt lake city
I have this weird thing that when I masturbate with a vibrator I can’t seem to bring myself to an orgasm. It feels really good and everything, but I get almost there but can’t quite cum. Does that make sense? It’s been awhile since I had a guy…but I digress. I was just wondering if you have any advice, or if I’m doing it wrong, or…I just need some help. Thanks a lot.

Hold on there, darlin’, are you tellin me you can jill-off just fine using your hand, but when you kick start your vibrator and apply it to your naughty bits you can’t cum? Is that what you’re tellin’ the good doctor? Or maybe I’m assuming things I shouldn’t. Maybe you’re not masturbating to orgasm at all, by hand or by gadget.

Since you’re not here to fill me in, so to speak, the best way to handle this is with a scatter gun approach. If you’re unable to jill-off to completion by any means, manual or mechanical, you may be preorgasmic. I’ve written a lot about this already, so there’s no need for me to repeat myself. Here’s what you do; check the CATEGORY pull down menu in the sidebar to your right.  Look for the main category — Sex therapy and under that look for the subcategory ‘Preorgasmic Women‘. Or check out the main category — Sexual Performance and look for the subcategory ‘Female Masturbation‘. You’ll find loads of swell information about this very topic.

If, perchance, you can masturbate just fine using your hand, but the rub (no pun intended) comes when you introduce a vibrator, then that’s a horse of a different color. In that instance, I’ll need more information before I can be of much help. Like, I’d want to know what kind of vibe are you using? Is it an all purpose wand type? A dildo kinda thingy that you insert in your pussy? Is it a rabbit, a G-spot vibe, a bullet or an egg-shaped vibrator? Are you doing any direct clitoral stimulation?

If you can make yourself cum through manual stimulation, how different a sensation is the vibrator? Is it possible that you need more vroom? Is it too intense?

What about other stimulus? Like what’s going on between your ears while you’re diddlin’ yourself? Are you thinking dirty thoughts? Watching some delicious smut? Reading some kick-ass erotica? Or are you concentrating so much on making the big “O” happen to actually let it happen? Chicks get performance anxiety too, even when they are by themselves. Performance anxiety is not just a guy thing.

I discussed your question with my friend, Joy. She asked me to ask you about the position you are in when you’re jillin-off. She said she had the damnedest time throwing herself her first screamin’ meme, even with a vibrator until she discovered that getting into a squatting position with her back against a wall did the trick. Stands to reason, orgasms are all about building sexual and muscle tension. Joy found that squatting tensed her hamstrings, quadriceps, glutes and even her PC muscle. This tension was just the thing to deliver the goods. Joy did add, however, that getting out of the squat after the event was really tricky. She said that in the end, she just learned to simply topple over with a bit of a thud. I had to laugh when she told me this, because I couldn’t help seeing Joy in my mind’s eye (she’s a big girl, don’t cha know) all breathless and topsy-turvy on the floor with a big ol’ shit-eatin grin on her face after finally delivering herself from the land of the preorgasmic.

One final thing, I’ve often heard women speak of the high success rate of jillin-off to orgasm in the bath. Again, this stands to reason too. Here you are all relaxed, warm and cozy, all wet and squishy. Why not add a little jet of warm water or a waterproof vibe and you’ll be havin’ an orgasm as easy as fallin’ off a log…or so I’m told. Just remember, baths and plug-in, electrical kinda vibes definitely don’t mix! A miscalculation here and you’ll find your ass in the sweet hereafter.

Listen, Amy, why not write back sometime with either more information or to report a success. I’d love to hear from you.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Are You Gettin’ On, But Not Gettin’ Off?

Name: Rachel
Gender: Female
Age: 19
Location: somewhere
Is it possible for a girl not to be able to have an orgasm after having sex twice?

You betcha, Rachel! Loads of women, way too many in fact, go through most of their lives being pre-orgasmic. Even having sex on a regular basis and having lots of babies is no guarantee that the woman in question is orgasmic. It’s a staggering statistic that us men folk simply can’t wrap our heads around. In fact I believe the earth would stop rotating on its axis if an equal number of men lived most of their lives without being orgasmic.

Now it must be clear to you, even at your tender age, that there are some fundamental differences between the sexes when it comes to sexual enjoyment. But a good portion of that has always been culturally dependent. Men have always had a whole lot more cultural permission to be sexually experimental. And since our willie is just hangin around down there waiting for an invitation to play. Or more precisely it’s our wang that tells us it’s time to play. We get to know our way around our boner early in life. Women? Ahhh not so much! Ok, so historically women have been sexually oppressed and repressed. But times they are a chanin! And all you women folk out there need to wake up about this.

Nowadays you don’t need nobody’s stinkin’ permission to get real acquainted with your cooch. That’s why I am a really big advocate of the notion that each of us, both the women folk and the men folk, ought to be responsible for our own orgasms…even, or more especially, in partnered sex.

If you mean by having sex, (and I hate that ambiguous term), that you’re having full-on cock in cooter fucking, and you’re not being appropriately pleasured, then I think it’s high time for you to take some responsibility for that. I mean you can chalk up just so much sexual disappointment to the sex-negative culture and a slew of offish and uninformed male lovers, darling!

If the man you are with isn’t pleasuring you to orgasm, then it’s your responsibility to take the time to instruct him on how it’s done. If you don’t insist that your partnered sex be mutual and reciprocal, i.e. pleasure for pleasure, then you’re gonna have to suffer the consequences. If loutish men are bumpin’ around down there gettin their jollies, but leaving you high and dry…literally and figuratively…then you are not taking care of business properly.

Of course, the other alternative is just doing it yourself. Either way, you should have the know-how to bring yourself to orgasm even if you are with an ineffectual lover.

I suppose you know where I’m going with this, huh? Well, here’s the 411 on gettin’ rid of preorgasmia once and for all. It is incumbent upon you to be exceptionally well versed in the pleasure points of your own personal pussy so you can pass this information on to the guy who wants to jump your bones. Never, and I mean never, assume a dude is gonna know what to do all on his own. Even a very seasoned lover is not gonna know the particulars of your pussy. But luckily, a seasoned lover will probably ask to be introduced to your cooch as insurance that he does the job right.

Begin by knowing your body and your sexual response cycle inside out. You are intimately familiar with masturbation, right? If not, times a wastin’, girl! Start by learning how to pleasure your body to orgasm. Once you get the hang of it, you will likely know the kind of stimulation you need to achieve full arousal in partnered sex, because this is precisely the information you are gonna want to pass on to your partner before the next fuck-fest begins as well as throughout the event. If you don’t do this, then you probably deserve the sexual wasteland you will surely find.

In other words, if you’re gettin it on, but not gettin off; you, my dear, need to take some of the blame for that.

To that end, allow me to direct you to a two-part interview I did with the marvelous, Mikaya Heart. She was a guest on my show for the SEX WISDOM series. You will find the podcasts HERE and HERE!

Mikaya is the author of The Ultimate Guide To Orgasm For Women; How to Become Orgasmic For A Lifetime. It is by far the best book about women’s sexuality that I have read in the past decade, if not longer.

Good luck

More Sex Wisdom with Mikaya Heart — Podcast #298 — 09/14/11

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans, welcome back!

So glad you’re back for another big dose of SEX WISDOM with my amazing guest Mikaya Heart. As you recall from last week’s show, Mikaya is the author of The Ultimate Guide To Orgasm For Women; How to Become Orgasmic For A Lifetime.

You’ll also remember that in introducing last week’s show I said that Mikaya’s book is by far the best book about women’s sexuality that I have read in the past decade, if not longer. And apparently ya’ll agree, at least those of you who contacted me with your comments. Mikaya is so passionate and compassionate about women’s sexuality that if her name weren’t already Heart, the consensus is, we’d have to rechristen her that.

But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1 of our chat, did you? Well not to worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in the Podcast Archive right here on my site. All ya gotta do is use the search function in the header; type in Podcast #297 and PRESTO! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

Mikaya and I discuss:

  • The necessity of talking about sex;
  • The power of fantasy in sex;
  • The problem with disengaging our rational brain in sex;
  • The spiritual dimension of orgasm;
  • The shamanic sensibility of sex;
  • Different kinds of orgasms;
  • Sex as a metaphor for life;
  • Sex and aging;
  • The disappearing orgasm;
  • The role of relationships;
  • Love and sex.

Mikaya invites you to visit her on her site HERE! And look for her on Facebook HERE!

(Click on the book cover below for more information and to buy Mikaya’s book)

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Hot Plus Size Lingerie.
Plus Size Lingerie

A Lusty Month of May Q&A Show — Podcast #275 — 05/02/11

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans! Welcome back.

Let’s rock out this first podcast of the lusty month of May with our traditional Q&A format. I have a backlog of exceptionally interesting concerns from the sexually worrisome that have come to me as both email and voicemail.

Among today’s correspondents are:

  • Stan is trying to figure out who he is — gay, straight, whatever;
  • Liz has a GF who is missing out on some hot monkey love;
  • Michael is a meth addict, but he can’t bring himself to tell his doctor;
  • Linda wants to try nudism, but the hubby won’t because he has a little willie;
  • Matt wonders if he has “father hunger”;
  • John wants to stimulate his seminal vesicles;
  • Arthur is 76 and wants to bump a 68 year old woman;
  • Craig tuckers out too soon; he want to know what’s up with that.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Adam & Eve.com.

The Self-Sexological Exam

No podcast today; instead there’s this…

The Ballad of Sylvie

Hi, my name is Sylvie. I’m 24 and I’ve been sexually active for three year, but I’ve never had an orgasm…at least not that I know of. I hear my friends talk about their orgasms and I know I should talk to them, but I don’t want them to know. Do you think there’s something wrong with me?

Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard this complaint over the years, I’d be a wealthy man. Even in this day and age where sexual messages permeate the popular culture, there are still some women who are unversed about orgasms and their own bodies.

However, I almost never hear this from men. Sure, our sexual response cycle is more obvious. When we’re at attention, we’re at attention. I often wonder what the world would be like if men had as hard a time getting off as some women do.…

But let’s begin with dispelling the notion that there may be something wrong with you. There isn’t. You do, however, fall into a category we in the biz call “pre-orgasmic.” The idea is that you’re going to be orgasmic one day—you’ve just not accomplished it yet.

And I’m gonna assume a couple of things, even though I think it’s really dangerous to make assumptions in this line of work: 1. You’ve never had an orgasm, because you’d sure as hell know it if ya had. 2. You are sexually active with male partners.

I’m going out on this limb because I absolutely never hear from pre-orgasmic lesbians. And it stands to reason—lesbians tend to be more attuned to their bodies, and they certainly know their way around the bodies of their partners. But I digress.

Orgasms don’t come easily for some women. I suppose there are as many reasons for this as there are pre-orgasmic women. A woman’s pleasure center (her clit) is more subtle and less obvious than a man’s raging boner. Women are socialized about sexuality—even nowadays—in a much different way then men are. Men have more cultural permissions to be sexually adventuresome than do women. And, truth be told, men have never needed any permission to get themselves off!

The Ballad of Amy

Case in point: When I was just beginning my practice, a young couple, Joel and Amy, visited me with this very issue. As I’d soon learn, Joel considered himself a top-notch cocksmith. He was fond of saying that he could reduce any woman to blubbering jelly with either his mouth or his magic wand. But Joel was completely flummoxed to discover that the love of his life was immune to his sexual prowess—so he hauled the little woman in for my diagnosis.

Amy, for her part, squirmed with discomfort. I thought she’d absolutely die as Joel detailed the explicit intimacies of their lovemaking. I knew I’d get nowhere with Amy while Joel was there, so I told him to take a hike while she and I had a chat.

I first asked Amy about the early messages she got about her body. She thought for a moment and answered: “I don’t know if this is what you mean, but one of my earliest recollections is my mother teaching me to wash myself. I must have been no more than 3 or 4. She began by telling me I should wash my body like we washed dishes. First and foremost, I was to attend to my hair, my face and my hands—like we would first wash the fine crystal and silverware—because they would be what would attract a husband. Then I was to wash the rest of my body. Finally, at the end of the bath, I should wash my genitals…but only with a different cloth than the one I used on the rest of me…just like we washed the pots and pans.”

This unearthed memory startled Amy. Even though she hadn’t thought about it for years, she realized she continued to wash herself in the same manner to that very day. And she followed that revelation with one equally astonishing. She told me that once she reached puberty, her mother took her aside for “The Big Talk.” Menstruation and all the embarrassment and confusion that came with it added to the “pot and pan” imagery. As to her genitals, her mother said: “You must save that for the one you love and will marry.”

“This dirty part, this thing that’s cursed with a monthly unclean bloodletting was supposed to be SAVED for the man of my dreams. YUCK! Why?”

Poor Amy! She was a tangle of mixed messages. No wonder she was pre-orgasmic. No wonder fucking Joel, despite her love for him, was a teeth-clenching chore. No wonder his begging to eat her pussy was met with, “Oh, please don’t!”

There was a lot of work to be done, but she was eager to begin.

We started her with journaling and a self-sexological exam. I instructed Amy to get a hand mirror and a detailed diagram of female genitalia. She was to familiarize herself and make friends with her estranged pussy. Her exam would entail a touch-test. Every square inch from her anus to her navel was to be tested for sensitivity. I suggested she draw pictures of herself and color them to represent the levels of sensitivity: red being the hottest and most pleasurable areas; blue being more neutral, and all the colors in-between. I encouraged her to try this exercise first with a dry hand, then a wet hand using a personal lubricant. I encouraged her to spend at least 30 minutes a day for three consecutive days. She had a lot of reacquainting to do.

And this was to be private time. Joel was not to be invited.

On the forth day, if she was ready, she could invite Joel to join her. No pressure; just a suggestion. But whenever she was ready to invite Joel, he could only attend as a guest, NOT a participant. Joel was only to receive the royal tour of Amy’s fabulous cunt. She was to show Joel her drawings, and once the show was over, that was it. No fucking, no sucking, no nothing—this was only to be an exhibition.

Poor Joel was beside himself. He couldn’t see the logic of him not being involved. I had to impress upon him that this was Amy’s work—not his. And if he just held on to that magic johnson of his, he’d be back with an orgasmic Amy in no time—but he had to be patient.

When next we were together, Amy shared her artwork with me. I could tell right away from pictures she’d drawn and colored that she’d found her clit. Amy was extremely pleased with her “newfound” pussy. She was eager to take it to the next level.

The following week’s play would include a vibrator. Amy was to buy the one she wanted, take it home and introduce it to her pussy. Using the pictures she’d created, she was to throw it into first gear and start making small, lazy circles around the blue areas, working her way to the bright red areas. She was to do this privately for 30 minutes for three consecutive days or until there was a breakthrough.

I knew this wouldn’t take long, and it didn’t. The very next day, I got the anticipated phone call. Amy was breathless.

“Holy shit, I did it!” She exclaimed. “I saw stars—the earth moved and I made so much noise that Joel came running into the room. He thought I’d somehow hurt myself. He stood there stunned as I threw myself another screaming me-me.” I loved the way she already had a name for her orgasms…screaming me-me’s.

And that’s how Amy went from pre-orgasmic to I totally know how to give myself a big fat juicy orgasm in a matter of a couple of weeks.

The Ballad of Becoming Presently Orgasmic

Now let’s review for you, Sylvie. The basic formula for achieving an orgasm is acquainting yourself with your pussy. Map out all the points of interest. Find out what feels good, and repeat it. The object of this first step is not to stress about having an orgasm—it’s all about reconnecting with your body.

The more you know about yourself, the better you’re gonna be at slamming yourself a “screamin’ me-me”. Knowing your way around your pussy is also helpful in partnered sex, especially if your partner doesn’t know shit from Shinola about your pussy.

Step two is masturbation. You may have tried before without success. This time, thanks to step one, you’ll better know your hot spots. I’m a big fan of full body masturbation. So while you’re diddling, be sure to spread the sexual energy all over your body—tits, ass, feet, mouth, whatever you like—stroke, pinch, pat, massage, and rub yourself all over. Vary your breathing, gyrate your hips, listen to sexy music, rent some porn, watch yourself in a mirror, or throw in some Kegel exercises. Try a wet hand. Play with yourself in the bath. Hell, dance around naked with a jewel in your navel…whatever it takes.

Like Amy, many women experience their first orgasm with the help of a vibrator. I encourage you to experiment with one—or try another sex toy.

Be sure to keep a journal during this exploratory period. This will help you later to bridge the gap in communicating with your partners.

Good luck!

3rd Anniversary Show — Podcast #185 — 02/15/10

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

Holy cow, it’s another milestone, sex fans!  This week’s show marks my third anniversary of podcasting.  I know!  Isn’t that fuckin great?  I mean who would have guessed that we’d have such a long run. And what a year it has been too.  I launched two podcast series last year — the Sex EDGE-U-cation series and the SEX WISDOM series, both of which appear on Wednesdays.  The Erotic Mind podcast series, which is nearly two years old, continues to shares Mondays with my traditional Q&A podcasts like today’s show. As usual, I have a very hot load of oh so stimulating questions to start year #4 off with a bang.  And I have a feeling that a few close friends will drop by to say howdy too.

  • Jesse wants to know if he can test dirty from swallowing a meth-head’s nut.
  • Terri has yet to cum.
  • Mariah is a cock in a frock, but he wants to quit.
  • Miguel can’t keep it up.
  • Andrew is keeping all his hot monkey love to himself.
  • Some chick from Boston wants to know about boners and butt sex.

BE THERE, OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail. Got a question? Perhaps you have a comment. Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you just wanna talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give dr dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

I wanna take a moment to remind you to check out another great website in the Dr Dick family of sites. It’s my new PRODUCT REVIEW site — drdicksextoyreviews.com

That’s right, sex fans, now it’s so easy to see what hot and what’s not in the world of adult products. I review of all kinds of adult related goodies — sex toys for sure, but also condoms, lubes, herbal products, fetish gear as well as educational and enrichment videos. DON’T MISS A SINGLE ONE!

Look for the drdicksextoyreviews.com. You’ll be so glad you did.

More of Shai Rotem – Podcast #181 – 01/20/10

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

We’re back with my guest Shai Rotem, and Part 2 of our conversation about surrogate partner therapy; or as it is otherwise known as, sex surrogacy.  And this, my pretties, is the brand-spankin’ new SEX WISDOM podcast series, where we chat with renowned researchers, educators, clinicians, pundits and philosophers; who are making news and reshaping how we look at our sexual selves.

Did you happen to miss the inaugural program in this series? Not to worry!  Part 1 of my conversation with Shai is archived right here on my site.  Use the search function to your right, type in podcast #179 and PRESTO!  Be sure to use the #sign when you search.

Shai and I discuss:

  • How one becomes a certified surrogate partner.
  • IPSA training and supervision.
  • His work history; beginning in Israel.
  • How his clients find him.
  • Common myths of surrogate partner therapy.
  • His role as mentor and advisor to and trainer of other surrogates.
  • What the future holds for him and his work.

Shai invites you to learn more about surrogate partner therapy by visiting the International Professional Surrogates Association’s website HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Eden Fantasys.

Sex toys - EdenFantasys adult toys store

Anything Goes…

Name: Denise
Gender: Female
Age: 35
Location: Colorado
My husband and I have two beautiful sons, 11 and 13. We are a naturist family. Our children have grown up in this way of life and they have a healthy appreciation for the human body and are comfortable with nudity. Recently, both our sons said they did not want to join my husband and I at our yearly naturist retreat. We are honoring their wishes, but we are disappointed by their decision. Any thoughts on were we may have gone wrong?

Let’s give our readership a little background first, shall we Denise? For the uninformed, nudists or naturists practice social nudity. While nudity is an obvious aspect of nudism, it is just part of a much larger lifestyle and life philosophy.

festival311.jpg

The nudist/naturist lifestyle promotes a wholesome appreciation of the human body, mind, and spirit. They believe that this wholesomeness comes easiest to those who shed the psychological and social encumbrance of clothing.

Naturists also promote health through complete contact of the whole body with the natural elements. Nudism is practiced, as much as possible, in environments free of the pollution and the stress of modern living. It also involves a holistic approach to nutrition, physical activity, mental health, and social interaction.

As Denise suggests, nudism fosters family participation. Children in naturist families learn to appreciate the human body as part of their natural environment. They often grow up with healthier attitudes toward the physical body and do so with much less fear or shame their non-naturist peers.

naturism2.jpgNow on to your concern, Denise. I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong. On the contrary, I think you are navigating this seeming change of heart by your kids very well. You’ve decided, and rightly so, to honor their wishes to not participate in the whole naturists thing for the time being.

Your boys are going through puberty and that alone is enough to set their whole world on its head. They may also be facing intense peer pressure from their non-naturist mates. Societal pressures to fit in and conform, even to unhealthy cultural dictates about “proper” behavior and injurious hyper body consciousness is particularly demanding during the early teenage years. Somehow the desire to be popular distorts a kid’s perception and can screw up his/her self-esteem.

Ideally, your son’s nudist upbringing would give them the ability to look past these superficial elements, and maybe they will in time. Right now, they need to feel they have more of a control over some of the externals of their life. And it is easy enough for you and your husband to grant them this. I would hasten to add that you and the hubby ought not sink to the lowest common denominator. I encourage you to continue to live your lifestyle as before. Your kids need to know that if they want their wishes respected, they’ll need to respect yours.

With a little luck, the body acceptance, self-respect and confidence you’ve instilled in your sons will once again kick in once their hormones simmer down. Just know that the anxiety you and your husband are experiencing is simply part and parcel of being parents to teens…nudist or non.

Name: Ed Clarke
Gender:
Age: 52
Location: Chicago
Dr. Dick, Please settle a bet. I say that a man with an 8 inch dick has more nerve endings than one who has only 5 inches of meat, and that means he gets more sexualsailor04.jpg stimulation of his joystick and greater pleasure. What do you say, Doc?

Ahhh, a betting man, are ya Ed? Ok, simply put, an 8-inch dick has indeed more skin than a 5-incher, but not more nerve endings. Just like a guy with a long neck has more skin than a guy with a short neck, but both guys have the same number of neck bones.

The nerve endings in a relatively short dick are more concentrated than those in a longer dick, but they function just the same. If you need further proof, consider a woman’s clit. It’s tiny compared to an 8-inch boner, but it packs more wallop per square centimeter than that big boy.

I also hesitate to endorse any notion that a bigger dick enjoys more sexual stimulation than a smaller dick. Skillful stimulation has less to do with size than it does with technique. And the notion that a bigger dick may somehow be the source of more pleasure than one that’s not so big…is also a myth. Once again, I refer you to that marvelous creation — the clit.

So I guess it’s time to pay up, huh Mr. Clarke?

Name: Katrina
Gender:
Age: 26
Location: Dallas
Dear Dr Dick: I am a 26 year old woman and want to trim my bush but am scared to go to the waxing salon. Is the salon safe? Do you have any recommendations for how I could go about this myself? Are there home kits?

Have you considered using the old weed-whacker, darlin’? Oh wait, not that kind of bush trimming, huh?ladypruning.jpg

OK, let’s see, are salons safe? I suppose if you entrusted your precious bush to a licensed establishment you’d be fine.

Any recommendations for how you could go about doing this yourself? I haven’t talked to too many women about this, but most of the men I know who manscape their pubes do so with a disposable razor while in the shower. Some submit to waxing, but most say it hurts way too much. Men are such PUSSIES!

Waxing has been around for centuries. People used to rid themselves of their pubic hair to cut down on infestations of lice and other unwanted vermin. Nowadays waxing and shaving are merely cosmetic in nature. I’m personally a big fan of the natural look, but to each his own, right?

wax_job.jpgWaxing can be done at home, and yes, there are kits available. I don’t know too much about these kits, so I can’t advise you further. What I can offer you is the basics — hot wax is applied to the hair infested areas of the skin, and a strip of cloth or paper is pressed into the wax. The strip is then quickly pulled away, taking the hair with it. OUCH! What price beauty???

This method is fast and relatively inexpensive…at least as one compares it to a salon job. But for the novice at-home waxer, this can also become very messy and if the done improperly the hair can break off below the surface of the skin and cause unsightly red bumps that look like prickly heat. This can also lead to an infection. And that’s never a good thing.

At-home kits can cost from $25-$75. Professional wax jobs can run from $50-$200 depending on the area treated.

Name: Marti
Gender: female
Age: 27
Location: Seattle
Is there such a thing as an asexual? The reason I ask is that I think I am one. I’m happy and well adjusted, but sex does nothing for me. I can’t orgasm. My genitals are icky. My marriage seems fine. I love my husband; we share the same values. And even if there’s nothing in it for me, I’m apparently pretty good at fellatio. We don’t do intercourse. Is this normal for some people? Are some people simply not wired to be sexual? I have no problems with love. I’m passionate about my husband and my friends, but it’s more of a cerebral thing.

Yeah, Marti, I do believe there is such a thing as an asexual. But I don’t think you’re one. Ya know why I say that? It’s because an asexual has an indifference toward sex. You, dear lady, exhibit disgust toward sex and things sexual…including your very own pussy. And that tells me you have an aversion to sex, which is completely different from what an asexual feels about sex.sexy-couple.jpg

I’d also have to challenge you on your statement that you are happy and well adjusted. I just don’t buy it, darlin’! And here’s a tip, if you have to go out of your way to tell someone you are happy and well adjusted, you’re probably neither.

In my estimation, a young married, albeit preorgasmic, woman who denies her hubby the old in and out, but begrudgingly blows him when absolutely necessary is NOT happy or well adjusted. SORRY! Since you have never known the joys of sex, you can hardly dismiss them as unimportant.

If we had access to your long-suffering husband I think he would tell a different tale than you, Miss Marti. I’ll betcha he’s withering on the vine for lack of nookie — the odd semi-obligatory blowjob he gets doled out to him on occasion not withstanding.

Listen darling, you got issues…big fuckin issues that need to be addressed ASAP. Don’t go trying to cover your shit with a happy face like asexuality. You’ll give all those real sexual ascetics a bad name if ya do.

female_masturbate.jpgBegin by resolving your anorgasmia, or as other call it preorgasmia. Because that, my dear, is the root of your sexual aversion. Work with a qualified sex-positive therapist. Learn to masturbate in a way that will bring you sexual satisfaction. Once you and your trusty vibrator slams yourself your first screamin’ meme of an orgasm, I believe you will change your tune about the rest of sex and your much maligned pussy too.

We can only hope that your deprived spousal unit will stick around during this remedial period. But you’re gonna have to level with him. Tell him you’ve finally accepted the fact that you have a problem that you need to get to the bottom of it, so to speak. With his help and support and that of your therapist, you’ll find your way to real happiness and being an authentically well-adjusted person, not just someone who says she is.

Anything short of this kind of honesty will continue to rob your husband of the full-fledged sex life he ought to be enjoying with you his wife. If ya don’t you can be sure ‘ole hubby will find his satisfaction in a more welcoming pussy than yours…if he hasn’t already.

Good luck ya’ll

Winter Solstice Worries

Before we begin today I want to send out hearty holiday greetings to all my pagan friends. Here in the northern hemisphere — HAPPY Winter SOLSTICE! Ya’ll in the southern hemisphere — HAPPY Summer SOLSTICE!

Some of us overlook these important and most ancient of festivals. Our culture’s Judeo-Christian bias blurs the origins of most of the religious observances we still take for granted today — like Christmas. When Christianity became the dominant influence in our culture it co-opted the trappings of these festivals, robbed them of their heavily laden sexual context and mercilessly persecuted their adherents. And that, to my mind, is a fuckin’ pity. What a different world this would be if that hadn’t happened.

Name: BJ
Gender: Female
Age: 23
Location:PA
I’ve been sexually active for several years now and have yet to reach an orgasm. Oral sex, intercourse nor masturbation have been effective. Is there something wrong with me, what might help?

I’d be very much surprised if there was actually something physically wrong with you. But you clearly have some difficulty letting go. And simply put, an orgasm is letting go of built up sexual tension.

Lot of preorgasmic women don’t feel entitled to an orgasm, for one reason or another. Other women are simply unversed on how to make the big “O” happen in their own fine self. Sometimes it’s a combination of both resistance and a lack of know how.

I used to have this client, a woman in her late 30’s, the mother of three and a devote Catholic. She was preorgasmic too. Her big stumbling block was fear. You got it; fear of having an orgasm. She had heard from other women, over the years, how powerful orgasms were and how pleasurable they were. My client somehow got it in her head that if she were to ever let go and give up that long-awaited screamin’ meme, her entire world would collapse. She would become a sex addict, neglect her children, divorce her husband and turn her back on God…the whole enchilada.

With that kind of mindset, this little lady wasn’t gonna let herself cum no how.

I had to reassure her that, as delightful as orgasms are, they are not like crack cocaine. xmas_lesbians.jpgI told her there was no chance that she’d fly to pieces as a mother, wife and friend of Jesus if she were to ever squeeze one out. I had to keep repeating this over and over till it finally sank in. You talk about hardheaded! In the end, she had her precious orgasm, joined the ranks of the sexually satisfied and lived happily ever after. …Well, I can’t honestly say about the happily ever after part.

Back to you BJ, I don’t suppose there’s any way you could have one of your gal-pals show you how it’s done, is there? The reason I ask is most guys learn how to choke the chicken by watching, or being instructed by another guy. Us men folk are really good about doin that for one another. Women folk, on the other hand, don’t seem to do this for one another as much.a16608_160w.jpg Which is a freakin’ pity, if ya ask me.

If you can’t (or won’t) get a pal to show you the finer points of proper pussy pleasuring, I have another suggestion for you. Mozie on over to DR DICK’S HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY and check out a swell instructional video. Do a quick search for “female masturbation” and let the experts show you a thing or two. You’ll be so glad you did.

Write back again and let me know how things go. If you’re not successful, I still have a few other tricks up my sleeve.

My wife fantasizes about cum swapping with me and forcing me to lick my freshly deposited spooge out of her vagina, but every time we try, just after I ejaculate, I loose my nerve. I have tried to taste my own cum before, and it really does turn me on, but there seems to be a huge difference between fantasizing and doing. I love my wife and want to fulfill her fantasy. How do I get over my apprehension to gulping my own love juice?
Regards, Chris

OMG! What are you, trying to do make me sick? Just kidding! What a spunky little spitfire you’re married to, Chris. Nasty little piggy sex, my favorite kind! You guys GO!“

Vaga-felching” or “lickin’ a creampie” is a relatively obscure fetish. The gays are more likely to felch, cuz they’re like so into the whole jizz thing, don’t cha know. But Vaga-felching is a-completely-nother thing…especially if it’s a straight dude doing the felching.

Ya see, a guy is always up for layin’ down and nice slime trail, but lickin it up again, especially after it’s been loitering about in the inner-regions of a pussy…why that’s pretty much enough to make most straight dudes hurl.creampie01.jpg

I suppose you’re slightly ahead of the ballgame, considering you say you find the taste of your own issue a turn on. That’s a good start. The big hurdle, of course, is having the same desires post-ejaculation as you do pre-ejaculation. And therein lies the rub, darlin’.

When we’re in the throws of passion, when we’re totally aroused, we get in this state. It’s just like a state of suspended animation, only completely different. 😉 Our sense of sight, smell, touch and taste are muted and our judgment is impaired too. Which allows us to do all sorts of things we wouldn’t consider if our dick wasn’t raging. You know the old saying; “A stiff dick has no conscience,” don’t cha? Well, it’s kinda like that.

Anyhow, all the nasty piggy little things we can groove on with a hardon, often evaporate once we’ve shot our load. And seein’ that ya gotta shoot your load in order to make a creampie, the fetching thereafter becomes considerably less tantalizing once you do…if ya catch my drift.

I suppose you could push past the hesitation you have with a little mind game. You could try to convince yourself that what was alluring before the creampie was made is the same thing as after. But then you’d have to override your reinstated judgment and sense of sight, smell, touch and taste to do so.

Get it? Got it? Good!

Hey there,
My question involves my uncircumcised penis. I am 20 years old and pretty sexually active when I’m involved with a girl. I’m curious because is my head, underneath my foreskin, is extremely sensitive. Only in the past year or so have I been working to stretch my foreskin over my head, and now that I’ve successfully exposed my dick, it’s sensitive as hell, almost to the point to where it hurts to touch. The other thing is that when I come close to ejaculation when masturbating/being masturbated, that it doesn’t bother me anymore if my head is touched. Is this normal for a circumcised male? I really am not educated about how an uncircumcised penis is supposed to be/work and really can’t talk to anyone about it. Please help educate me!
Jason

Lucky the man with a natural, intact dick! A super-sensitive dickhead is the birthright of every male. Unfortunately, some of us never get to know the excruciating sensitivity that uncut men know all their lives. Pity that!uncut_tip.jpg

You are correct to notice that as you approach an orgasm, your dickhead can receive more touch then when you are not aroused. Like I was sayin’ to the guy above you, “…when we’re in the throws of passion, when we’re totally aroused, we get in this state. Our senses of sight, smell, touch and taste are muted…”This is nature’s way of desensitizing the very tool we’d need to bring our pleasure to fruition — entering a pussy and depositing our seed there.

Once that task is complete, the normal sensitivity resumes. And since our dick can’t tell between a simple jerk off session, some fine gay sex and an attempt to impregnate a female it just behaves the same way each time we play with our thingy.So sounds to me like everything on your unit is working perfectly well.

Enjoy the gift you have!

Name: lup92
Gender: Male
Age: 15
Location: England
I’m 15 and masturbate often but have had no form of sex although my girlfriend wants to start. however my penis and scrotum have extremely small lumps all over. I also have a purple red large lump on the rim of my bellend. what do i do? should i start? or do i risk giving something to my girlfriend?

Here’s the thing about lumps and bumps and discolorations of the skin anywhere on your body, especially on your precious willie, pup. They are signs that all is not well. Do us all a big favor and have your johnson looked at by a physician right away. This is nothing to fool around with.

Everything you describe could be completely harmless, but you don’t want to take the chance that it isn’t. And here’s a tip: don’t do it for your girlfriend. DO IT FOR YOU! It’s your dick, you gotta lean how to take care of it. And there’s no time like the present to start properly lookin after it.

There is one more thing. And I’m gonna be as blunt as I know how. If you think you’re old enough to fuck, you’re old enough to know about condoms and how to use them. If ya don’t, you’re just a dumb kid who might function like a grown-up, but who doesn’tstockingcondoms.jpg know how to behave like one. And I don’t want to believe that about you.

What it is with young people (old people too) who are still fuckin’ clueless about unprotected sex in this day and age? I’ve been reading the celebrity gossip here in the States lately. All the whoha about Jamie Lynn Spears, Britney’s 16-year-old sister, gettin knocked up. WTF? Is anyone paying attention?

I have nothing against younger people being sexual. That pretty much is to be expected. But I am totally opposed to kids having kids! Like I said, if you’re old enough to swing it around, you’re old enough to know how to swing it responsibly.

Good luck ya’ll

q.jpg

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #43 — 12/10/07

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

I have a really delicious show for you today. We have a big load of stimulating questions from all over the globe. And I respond with an equal number of stunning, cheeky and oh so informative responses! Hey, it’s what I do.

  • Wondering is wondering about many things to do with her pussy!
  • Young Jaymie’s got it bad for his mate. But the boy sleeps right through it.
  • Rachel has yet to cum after two tries. WTF?
  • Kirk is a randy little bugger, but doesn’t know where to point his dick.

BE THERE, OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s dr dick’s toll free podcast voicemail. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question? No time to write? Give dr dick a call at (866) 422-5680. Again, the TOLL FREE voicemail number is (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY !

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the health section under the subheading — Sexuality. Or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice With An Edge. And don’t forget to subscribe. I don’t want you to miss even one episode.

Say, would you like to become a sponsor for one or more of my weekly sex advice podcasts? As you know, I plug a product or service at the beginning and end of each show. Each podcast has its own posting on my site along with the name of the podcast sponsor and a banner for the product or service.

The beauty part about this unique opportunity is that once a sponsor’s ad is included in a particular podcast that sponsor is embedded there forever.

Your sponsorship also underscores your social conscience. Your marketing dollars will not only got to promote your product, but you will be doing so while helping to disseminate badly needed sex education and sexual enrichment messages. Simply put, ya just can’t get a better bang for your advertising buck!

For further information, contact me at: dr_dick@drdicksexadvice.com

 

Penis Pumps Guide

OH THE HUMANITY!

Once again my inbox is filled with quires from all over the globe.

Name: MARK
Gender:
Age: 44
Location: ca
im experiencing ED for 2 years. According to eastern medicine, which i believe in, it’s the result of low kidney chi…are you familiar with mantak chia? can you share any feedback you’ve heard regarding his taoist sex practices?

Alas, I do not know the man or his take on Erectile Dysfunction. If you find out more, do let me know. I’m very interested in cross-cultural philosophies about sex.

Name: Tommy
Gender:
Age: 34
Location: bay area
If your wit this guy for some time. How do you make him be more interested in you. I been sleeping with this person for some time and I feel we have gotten closer> I just want to know I do I reel him in. thanks tommy

vintage311.jpgI am of the mind that humans are not much like fish. They can’t be reeled in. But they can be REASONED in.

Listen, my friend, if you feel like your relationship with this guy has matured to the point where you’d like to take it to the next level, whatever that may be. Why not just come out and tell the bloke how you feel. Ask him to be honest with you about his feelings too. You may be pleasantly surprised to learn that he shares your desire to be more than fuck buddies. If not, at least you’ll know where you stand.

Name: canine
Gender:
Age: 30
Location: philippines
i have a 4 inch dick, 4 inches circumference, would it be enough to satisfy a women. i have tried so many penile enlarging pill, it doesnt work, tried pump, doesnt work either, i am looking at fat transplant is it safe?, would it really lengthen and provide more girth? a 5×5 would be enough for me. help!

manchains.jpgFour inches is plenty to pleasure most women. Most women don’t give a shit about dick size. But ya know what? Even if they were, you are more than your dick size. Presumably you also have functional fingers and a tongue, not to mention an ability to charm a woman. These are the things that will get you laid, my friend, not your 4 or 5 inches.

So you’ve tried enlarging pills and pumps and they don’t work. You don’t say! I keep telling guys to not waste their money. But it looks like you haven’t learned your lesson yet. Now, instead of just useless pills and bogus pumps you want to have some one inject your dick with your own body fat. Is another inch really worth the effort, expense, and risk involved with this procedure if it were to go bad? And mark my words; it will go bad. I have yet to see even one fat injected cock that looks normal. They all look deformed, like they have cottage cheese under the skin. In most cases the body rejects a large portion of the fat injection. The procedure often needs to be repeated several times and each operation carries with it a severe risk of infection.

Stop right now. Spend your money on something that will make you more attractive and interesting to the ladies. Take a class in sensual massage, or study tantrac sex techniques. Just leave your dick alone!

Name: jason
Gender:
Age: 33
Location: Connecticut
if I like anal sex but not all the time does this make me gay even though I like to be with women too?

5484782_400.jpgTakin’ it up the ass don’t make you gay, even if you’re being plugged by another dude. It may suggest that you are technically bisexual, since you say you also like to be with women. But hell, even a lot of straight guys get pegged by their girlfriends or wives.

So what’s the lesson in all of this? All these labels are useless unless you yourself choose to identify yourself with one or another of them. And for lots of people, sexual identities are fluid things. Be honest with yourself and let your public identity flow from that.

Name: catherine joanne
Gender:
Age: 42
Location: canada, alberta
I am in a very loving, uderstanding, compasionate relationship, which I have been waiting for for some time now. The only thing is, in every way he stimulates my emotional side, but in the bedroom he is not as sexual as previous partners i have encountered. I do not know if this is because all my previous relationships has always been about the “sex” and fizzled out, or is this how the “real love thing truly is?” If so, how can I mentally get over this one…he just is not inventive, or has a lack of sexual knowledge. I do not desire to end this loving relationship over the bed issue. Please help me out on this one, so I do not sabatouge this relationship. sincerely: Catherine

If this guy is satisfying you as much as you say, hold on to him. He’s a keeper.

You can always teach the old dog some new tricks. Of course, you’re gonna have to take the lead in his sex ed. Let’s just hope he’s not threatened by a woman who is more sexually experienced and progressive than he is. That being said, I think you ought to make your peace with the fact that he’ll never become a wild fuck. But then again, you wouldn’t want that, because those wild fucks don’t make for loving, understanding and compassionate partners. But you already know that, huh?

Just remember: It’s as hard to domesticate a wild fuck as it is to make a domestic fuck wild!

Name: jamie
Gender:
Age: 28
Location: Georrgia
lately when me and my boyfriend have sex, he’s been pulling out because he says his dick burns. WHY IS HE HAVING THAT PROBLEM

What’s goin on in your pussy, girl? Nothing about a healthy cunt is gonna irritate a guy’s dong. SEE YOUR DOCTOR! Hey, maybe he started out with a skin irritation of some sort or another, and pluggin’ you only made it worse. HE OUGHTA SEE HIS DOCTOR!

And what the fuck are you two doin screwin around without a condom? Are you on the pill? You’d better be. Cuz if you ain’t ya’ll are gonna have a whole lot more to worry about than cock burns, if ya catch my drift.

Name: rupalini
Gender:
Age: 25
Location: india
i am unable to have an orgasm.. how ever i try.. its emotionally straining on me.. could be pls tell me techniques to relax and enjoy..?

Let’s begin by dispelling the notion that there may be something wrong with you. There isn’t. You do, however, fall into a category we in the biz call “pre-orgasmic women.”

Orgasms don’t always come easily to some women, and that’s a fact. I suppose there are as many reasons for this as there are preorgasmic women. A woman’s pleasure center (her clit) is more subtle and less obvious than a man’s raging hardon. Women are socialized about sexuality especially where you live — even nowadays — in a much different way then men are. Men have more cultural permissions to be sexually adventuresome than women do.

Case in point. When I was just beginning my sex therapy practice I had a young engaged couple, Joel and Amy, visit me with the very issue you raise. As I would soon learn, Joel considered himself a top-notch cocksmith. He was fond of saying that he could reduce any woman to blubbering jelly with either his mouth or his magic-wand of a dick. (Oh, lord, how us mens love to brag!)

But Joel was completely flummoxed to discover that the love of his life, the young woman sitting next to him, was immune to his sexual prowess. He had to get to the bottom of this…so to speak. So he decided to haul the little woman in for my diagnosis.

Amy squirmed with discomfort during this little introduction. I thought she would absolutely die as Joel detailed the intimacies of their lovemaking. He was being very explicit. I knew I’d get nowhere with Amy while numb-nuts Joel was sitting right there, so I told him to go take a hike while Amy and I had a chat.

I first asked Amy about the early messages she got about her body. She thought for a moment and answered. “I don’t know if this is what you mean, but one of my earliest recollections is my mother teaching me to wash myself. I must have been no more than 5 or 6 years old. She began by telling me I should wash my body like we washed dishes. First and foremost, I was to attend to my hair, my face and my hands…like we would first wash the fine crystal and silverware. My mother explained that my hair, face and hands would be what would attract a husband. Then I was to wash the rest of my body…just like we would then wash the rest of the dishes. Finally, at the end of the bath, I could wash my genitals…but only with a different cloth than the one I used on the rest of me…just like we washed the pots and pans.”

This unearthed memory startled Amy. Even though she hadn’t thought about it for years, she realized she continued to wash herself in that same manner to that very day. This was so startling to her that she followed that revelation with one equally astonishing. She told me that once she reached puberty her mother took her aside for the “BIG TALK.” Menstruation and all the embarrassment and confusion that brought with it, added to the pot and pan imagery really threw poor Amy for a loop. Her mother said…referring to her genitals, “You must save that for the one you love and will marry.” WHAT? “This dirty part, this thing that’s cursed with a monthly unclean bloodletting was supposed to be SAVED for the man of my dreams. YUCK, why?”

brazilian-bedlock.jpgPoor Amy! She was a tangle of confusion and mixed messages. No wonder she was preorgasmic. No wonder fucking Joel, despite her love for him, was a teeth-clenching chore. No wonder his begging to eat her pussy was met with a “Oh, please don’t. I’m not ready for that.”

There was a lot of work to be done, but she was eager to begin.

We began her home-play exercises with journal work and a self-sexological exam. I instructed her to get a hand mirror and a diagram of female genitalia. She was to get to work familiarizing herself and making friends with her estranged pussy. Her exam would entail a detailed touch test. Every square inch from her asshole to her navel was to be tested for sensitivity. I suggested she draw pictures of cunt and color them to represent the levels of sensitivity — red being the hottest and most pleasurable areas to blue being the more neutral areas and all the colors in-between. I encouraged her to try this exercise with both a wet hand and a dry hand. I suggested a nice personal lubricant for her wet hand exploration. I encouraged her to spend at least 30 minutes a day for three consecutive days. She had a lot of reacquainting to do, don’t cha know. And this was to be private time. Joel was not to invited.

On the forth day, if she was ready, she could invite Joel to join her. No pressure for that to happen, just a suggestion. But whenever she was ready to invite Joel to her little pussy get-acquainted party, he could only attend as a guest, not a participant. I encouraged her to give Joel the royal tour of Amy’s fabulous cunt. She was to show Joel her drawings and once the tour and art show was over that was it. No fucking, no sucking, no nothing just the tour and art show.

Poor Joel was beside himself. He couldn’t see the logic of him not being involved. I had to impress upon him that this was Amy’s work not his. And if he just held on to that magic johnson of his, he’d be back with an orgasmic Amy in no time. But he had to be patient.

When next we were together Amy shared her artwork with me. I could tell right away from just looking at the pictures she drew that she found her clit. Amy was pleased as all get out with her newfound pussy friend. She was eager to take it to the next level.

The following week’s home-play would include a vibrator. Amy was to shop for the one she wanted and take it home to introduce it to her pussy. Using the pictures she created of her genitals, she was to kick-start that vibrator, throw it into first gear and start making small lazy circles around the blue areas, and work her way to the bright red areas. She was to do this privately for 30 minutes for three consecutive days or until there was a breakthrough.

I knew this wasn’t gonna take long, and it didn’t. The very next day, I got the anticipated phone call. Amy was breathless. “Holy shit, I did it!” She exclaimed. “Oh my god, I saw stars, the earth moved and I made so much noise that Joel came running into the room thinking I had somehow hurt myself. He stood there in stunned silence as he watched me throw myself another screaming meme.” I loved the way she already had a name for her orgasms…screamin’ memes.

And so that’s how Amy went from being preorgasmic to being a totally “I know how to give myself a big fat juicy orgasm” in a matter of a couple of weeks. YEAH!

big-13.jpgNow let’s review for you Rupalini. The basic formula for achieving an orgasm is acquainting yourself with your pussy. Map out all the points of interest. Find out what feels good, and repeat it. The object of this first step is not to stress about having an orgasm it’s all about reconnecting with your cunt.

The more you know about this marvelous part of you the better you’re gonna be at slammin yourself a screamin’ meme when the time comes. Knowing your way around your pussy is also gonna be helpful in partnered sex, especially if your partners are men. Like I said earlier, one of the reasons you’re preorgasmic may be you’ve had uninformed lovers.

You see most men’s interest in pussy extends to the end of his dick. And it completely expires once he’s shot his wad. So don’t mistake a man’s pawing at you to get in your pants as authentic interest in you and/or your pussy. Mostly a man is interested in getting’ some relief for his johnson. And that’s about as far as our interest goes. So, if you find a partner that doesn’t know shit from shinola about your love cave, you’ll better have the confidence to give him a tutorial before the fucking commences.

Step two is masturbation. You may have tried it before without success, that’s ok. This time you’ll be better informed about all the hot spots of your coozie that you learned in step one. I’m a big fan of full body masturbation. So while you’re diddlin’ yourself spread the sexual energy all over your body — tits, ass, feet, mouth, whatever.

Vary your technique: stroke, pinch, pat, massage, and rub yourself all over. Vary your breathing, gyrate your hips, listen to sexy music, rent some porn, watch yourself in a mirror, or throw in some Kegel exercises. Try a wet hand. Play with yourself in the bath. Hell, dance around naked with a jewel in your navel…whatever it takes.

022107.jpgMany women experience their first orgasm with the help of a vibrator, just like old Amy. I encourage you to be adventuresome and experiment with one too. Try a dildo or another sex toy.

Be sure to keep a journal during this exploratory period. This will help you later to bridge the gap in communicating with your partners.

Finally, Rupalini, may I turn you on to a fantastic webstie, www.Clitical.com. This is a one-stop shop for all things relating to female sexuality.

Good luck ya’ll

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #05 — 03/12/07

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

This week we have a smorgasbord of sultry submissions —

  • Bob’s plumbing isn’t workin’ like it usta!
  • Silvie is lookin to get her groove on…for the first time!

And finally we visit with —

  • Bisexual Phil. He’s got an itch and he scratches it regularly! But wait, there’s a problem…

BE THERE, OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s dr dick’s toll free podcast voicemail. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.Got a question? No time to write? Give dr dick a call at (866) 422-5680. Again, the toll free voicemail number is (866) 422-5680.

Dr Dick is now on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the podcast section under the heading — Health, subheading — Sexuality. Or search for Dr Dick Sex Advice With An Edge. And don’t forget to subscribe. I don’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is brought to you by: Will Smith Photography!

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