Category Archives: Painful Intercourse

A June Is Bustin’ Out All Over Q&A Show — Podcast #283 — 06/06/11


Hey sex fans, welcome back!

Yes siree, June is busting out all over! It’s pert’near summer and I just realized that we haven’t had a Q&A show since early last month. So ya know what else is bustin out all over? My voicemail and email in boxes, that’s what! I have a big hot load of questions from the sexually worrisome out there. And I’m all ready to dish out some snappy answers to dazzle and delight today’s correspondents, as well as everyone else in my audience.

  • Jackie hates it when her partner busts a nut ON her.
  • Ron is hoping I know where he can find some stray dick to suck.
  • LSSC has a husband who thinks sex is dirty.
  • Shades wants vibrating panties for men.
  • Michael thinks his wife is a mess, but actually it’s HIM.
  • RAHUL wants to know if women like sex as much as men.
  • Luke and his GF fuck like bunnies and now she’s sore.
  • Micah can’t keep it up and he’s too young for ED.
  • Conal has a porn jones and needs help.
  • Harrison wants to know how to clean his hole on a budget.
  • Wasim thinks his nuts are too small and soft.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Review.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode

Sexual MYTHBUSTERS, Part 1 – The Big O

No podcast today, but there is this…

Angie is 20 and she’s having issues, lots of issues.

Hello, I would ask you a question that has been on my mind for a while. I seem to have a problem orgasming without stimulating my clitoris. I suppose that doesn’t really sound like a problem but it’s really starting to annoy me. I would like to be able to enjoy an orgasm without having to stimulate my clit every time! I love having sex and it feels super duper good but why can’t I climax that way? I mean I am aware of where my G-spot is and my boyfriend said he’ll be focusing more on hitting it “spot” on. There’s also another thing I have noticed, sometimes my boyfriend will hit my cervix and it hurts a bit, but is this even normal? Should he even be able to hit it? Or is there something abnormal going on here?

Let’s see, when you say you “love having sex and it feels super duper good but why can’t I climax that way?” Are you referring to full-on cock in cooter fucking when you say, “having sex”? The reason I ask is that not everyone means the same thing when they use that trite euphemism.

Since you’re not here to fill in the blanks, so to speak. I’ll assume you want to know why you can’t have or haven’t yet had a vaginal orgasm. But before I answer, I just want to say that I hope you are not setting up an orgasmic dichotomy where there doesn’t need to be one. That would truly be unwise.

If you are at all familiar with your genital anatomy, you will know that the pleasure centers in that area of your body are all wired together. Your clit, G-spot, pussy, taint (perineum) and butthole are all on the same circuit, so to speak. Each erogenous zone is distinct, of course, but they act in consort with one another. However, not all your parts will generate the same amount of buzz. Since a woman’s clit is at the center of this network of nerves, it tends to dominate all the others and it is generally the quickest way to intense pleasure for most women.

Ok, now my answer. I can’t really say why your not climaxing while you’re fucking. Other than the fact that an exclusively vaginal centered orgasm is a myth. The vast majority of women don’t have vaginal orgasms. In fact the degree of insensitivity inside a woman’s vagina is so high that Kinsey wrote in his seminal work, Sexual Behavior in the Human Female published back in 1953: “Among the women who were tested in our gynecologic sample, less than 14% were at all conscious that they had been touched.” That’s pretty remarkable, wouldn’t you say?

The vaginal orgasm myth is perpetuated, in part, by many women’s confusion and/or lack of knowledge about their own anatomy. Some women believe that an orgasm felt during fucking is centered in their cooch. This suggests to me that they aren’t being precise in locating the center of that orgasm. Other women believe in the vaginal orgasm myth because they think they need to conform to a male oriented notion of female sexuality — fucking = cuming. And that’s simply wrong, don’t cha know. Just ask all the preorgasmic women out there.

But ya know what? I don’t own a pussy my own self. All I can only tell you is what I have learned from those people who actually have a honeypot. The people I’m referring to, we’ll call them females, tell me vaginal orgasms, mythological or not, may simply be dependent on a tone of a woman’s pelvic musculature. As amazing as pussies are, and they are amazing, if the muscles that surround them are not taught and toned enough, a fucking generated orgasm may elude the owner of said pussy.

Some women haven’t developed their PC muscles enough to cum through fucking alone. Are you doing your kegels, Angie? If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you have some serious remedial research to do.

The elusive vaginal orgasm may also have to do with your partner cock, particularly the girth of his unit and opposed to its length. My women friends tell me that a thicker cock may have more of a chance triggering a vaginal orgasm then a pencil dick. No surprise there, I suppose. Position will also play a role. Why not give a bunch of different positions a try and see if one or another makes a difference? You on top cowgirl style, or doggie style might work best. But it’s your coozie, my dear, and you ought to know it better than I.

As to your G-spot question. That’s another thing all together. I am so glad that you are familiar with your anatomy enough to have found your own personal G-spot. And it’s great to hear that you have an accommodating partner who is working on stimulating this sensitive area. Good for you both! However, while I wholeheartedly endorse and encourage your further investigations and sex play, I do have one caution. I share the concern of most of my women friends. We want you to avoid all the G-spot hype floating around in the popular culture these days. Most women have a good time with their G-spot exploration. They report that it is not particularly difficult to find, but it’s also much harder to pleasure. If a woman, you perhaps, gets it in her head that something amazing is supposed to happen with a G-spot stimulation, she might be setting herself up for disappointment. In the same way some women, you perhaps, set themselves up for disappointment if they buy into the myth of an exclusively vaginal generated orgasm.

I encourage you to see your genitals as a whole, not a bunch of separate parts that somehow work independently of one another. If your pussy is happy and your pussy is making you happy; is it really all that important how the happiness comes to be?

In comparison us men folk are not all that fussy. What gets us off; gets us off. I never hear from a guy who is disappointed because he’s not having an exclusively prostate generated orgasm. They do happen, but we’re not the least bit concerned when they don’t happen. I also never hear from a guy who thinks he should be orgasmic through manipulation of his balls alone. That can happen too, but we’re not holding our breath for them.

What I do hear from guys is that we often need a particular kind of dick-oriented stimulation to get us off. And this is where the men folk and the women folk are a whole lot alike. You, like us, probably need a particular kind of stimulation to get you off. Be it vaginal, clitoral, G-spot, or whatever. If you acknowledge that your genitals are a composite of parts that work together to bring you joy, then you’ll be less likely to be swayed by the claims, hype and misinformation about female sexual response.

Regarding the issue of your boyfriend hitting your cervix. Yeah, that’ll hurt, don’t cha know. I’d be willing to guess that he’s in the wrong position and being too athletic in his pumping when that happens. If he’s bumping your cervix, but you like the depth and athleticism of his manly thrusts, simply change position. That should remedy the problem.

Finally, I’d simply advise you to respect the uniqueness of your body and your sexual response cycle. If it’s your clit that delivers the big O, even though you are being pleasured elsewhere. Then by all means, stimulate your clit while whatever else is happening, and enjoy the ride.

Good luck

More of Shai Rotem – Podcast #181 – 01/20/10

Hey sex fans,

We’re back with my guest Shai Rotem, and Part 2 of our conversation about surrogate partner therapy; or as it is otherwise known as, sex surrogacy.  And this, my pretties, is the brand-spankin’ new SEX WISDOM podcast series, where we chat with renowned researchers, educators, clinicians, pundits and philosophers; who are making news and reshaping how we look at our sexual selves.

Did you happen to miss the inaugural program in this series? Not to worry!  Part 1 of my conversation with Shai is archived right here on my site.  Use the search function to your right, type in podcast #179 and PRESTO!  Be sure to use the #sign when you search.

Shai and I discuss:

  • How one becomes a certified surrogate partner.
  • IPSA training and supervision.
  • His work history; beginning in Israel.
  • How his clients find him.
  • Common myths of surrogate partner therapy.
  • His role as mentor and advisor to and trainer of other surrogates.
  • What the future holds for him and his work.

Shai invites you to learn more about surrogate partner therapy by visiting the International Professional Surrogates Association’s website HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Eden Fantasys.

Sex toys - EdenFantasys adult toys store

SEX WISDOM with Shai Rotem – Podcast #179 – 01/13/10

Hey sex fans,

I have a fantastic show in store for you.  I am delighted to inform you that I am launching yet another podcast series today.  I call it the SEX WISDOM podcast series.

Besides the wildly popular Sex EDGE-U-cation series and The Erotic Mind series that have been running for the past year and longer, I thought it would be grand to chat with some of the movers and shakers in the field of human sexuality.   So in the course of this new series we will be chatting with researchers, educators, clinicians, pundits and philosophers who are making news and reshaping how we look at our sexual selves.  I can assure you that these conversations will be well worth the time you spend with us.

I have chosen a remarkable man as my first guest.  His name is Shai Rotem.  He is a certified surrogate partner; or a sex surrogate, if you prefer.  And he’s here to tell us about the critical work he is doing with his clients.  This is fascinating stuff, sex fans!  Please stay tuned.

Shai and I discuss:

  • A working definition of the term Surrogate Partner.
  • How a sex surrogate differs from a sex worker.
  • Being part of a scripted therapeutic intervention.
  • Surrogate partner therapy and the law.
  • Who can benefit from surrogate partner therapy.
  • The impact of a repressive religious upbringing on sexual wellbeing.
  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Sensate Focus Techniques.

Shai invites you to learn more about surrogate partner therapy by visiting the International Professional Surrogates Association’s website HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S  — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

drdickvod.jpg

U. B. Goode

As long as habit and routine dictate the pattern of living, new dimensions of the soul will not emerge. — Henry van Dyke

Name: Victoria
Gender:
Age: 22
Location: San Diego
I love sex with my boyfriend. It is great but sometimes it can be a real pain. I can’t seam to stay wet for to long even if it feels really good I still tend to dry up. I have tryed lubrication even lotion and it still only helps for a few mins then I dry up again. I can cum but even then after a few I get dry again. It makes it so hard cause my boyfriend tends to think I’m not wet cause he dosen’t please me. When it is not true. He is in fact the best lover I have ever had. Please is there anything I can do to help so I don’t dry up so fast?

Bummer, Victoria, a chronically dry pussy is no fun. First, lets put your boyfriend’s mind to rest.wet_pussy.JPG

Hey Bub, it ain’t you, darlin’. Listen to your woman. You’re pleasing her just fine. The problem resides in her inability to produce sufficient lubrication to make fucking fun and effortless. But lets see if we can get to the bottom of this AACS — Acute Arid Cunt Syndrome — and maybe we’ll find a solution along the way.

Ya know, Victoria, if you’re using the wrong kind of lube for the job it’s gonna dry out, sure as shootin’. And since I don’t know what you are using, I’m gonna employ the scattergun approach. There are several different types of vaginal lubricants available over-the-counter, as well as estrogen-based creams available by prescription. Vaginal lubricants come in tubes, plastic squeezie bottles, and some women swear by the vitamin E vaginal suppositories.

If I had to guess, I’d say you were trying to get the job done by using a water-based lube, right? If that’s the case, I suggest you switch to a Silicon-based lubricant. They don’t dry out as quickly as water-based lubes. They tend to be a bit more expensive. They’re not water-soluble, so clean up can be a bit of a chore. Here’s a tip: you’ll want to avoid using a Silicon-based lube while fucking on the brand new Laura Ashley’s, don’t ‘cha know. But all these minor drawbacks pale in comparison to some mighty fine slippery fucking. Look for Pjur Woman Bodyglide, 100 ml (B305), in Dr Dick Stockroom. Mind as well plug one of my favorite sponsors, right? If that doesn’t work, I’d ask a doctor about an estrogen-based cream.

dry_pussy.jpgBut before we go there, maybe you should be asking yourself what gives with your Acute Arid Cunt Syndrome anyway. Is anything about your lifestyle that contributes to the problem? You know lot of very popular meds interfere with natural vaginal lubrication including:

• Halcion
• Xanax
• Ativan
• Calcium channel blockers
• Beta-blockers
• and especially prescribed and over-the-counter cold and allergy medications.

High levels of stress and depression, as well as a hormone imbalance, can cause vaginal dryness too. If this sounds like you, you can combat some of this by boosting your water intake. If you’re not adequately hydrated — at least ten 8-oz glasses of water a day — kinda hydration, you know you’re gonna have a problem.

Also, many hand and body soaps and a lotta laundry products contain scents and other chemicals that will irritate the delicate mucosal tissues that line your pussy.

A healthy diet and proper exercise is also important to maintaining a healthy level of natural lubrication. Ya know those low-fat, high-carb diets many women are on these days? Well, they literally starve your body of the nutrients it needs to make sex hormones. For example, the estrogen needed for vaginal lubrication is made from cholesterol, something women on low-fat diets are woefully lacking.

Name: LARRY
Gender:
Age: 23
Location: MYRTLE BEACH SC
WHERE DOES SEMEN COME FROM? THAT IS TO SAY WHAT ORGAN (ORGANS) MAKE IT AND WHERE IS IT STORED. WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENS AT CLIMAX? IF YOU CLIMAX WITHOUT CUMING IS THAT SOMETHING THAT SHOULD CONCERN ME

Semen is the technical name for male ejaculate. However, we here at Dr Dick’s Sex Advice like to refer to this man juice as spooge, spunk, jizz or cum. Semen contains sperm, of course, which is produced in your testicles. It also contains a complex “soup” called seminal fluid, which is produced by various sex glands in your body. But, despite its complexity, baby batter is 90% water.

Your most important sex glands, the seminal vesicles, produce 70% of your joy juice. This seminal fluid iscum_shot99.JPG viscous and alkaline. The alkaline quality is very important because it neutralizes the acidic environment of your urethra and a woman’s vagina, which would otherwise kill all your little sperm-letts or at least make them inactive. And what good is inactive sperm?

Seminal fluid also contains a simple sugar, which provides the energy your seed needs to survive and wriggle about like crazy. Oh and precum. the stuff that often drizzles from your man meat while you’re being aroused, comes from the Cowper’s gland, and it too paves the way for a healthy ride for your delicate spermatozoa.

About 25% of the volume of your spooge comes from your prostate gland. This gives your spunk its milky appearance. Your prostate also adds substances, which increase the survival rate of your baby seeds.

On average, a man ejaculates between 2.5 and 5 ml of jizz per wad, which contains about 50 – 150 million sperm per milliliter. Just think of that next time you shoot your business into that dirty sock at the side of your bed. And here’s another thing, if a dude’s sperm count falls below 20 million per milliliter, he’s likely to be infertile, or as we like to call it — shootin’ blanks.

The amount of goop a guy gushes varies greatly, and has lots to do with how long his arousal period lasts before he shoots. Ya see, the longer the arousal period the more time there is for your fluids to build up. That’s why Dr Dick always suggests a nice long foreplay session. The greater the build up of spooge, the more powerful your ejaculatory contractions will be. Which, in turn, makes for a more intense orgasm.

You will notice that I am going out of my way to separate the two events — ejaculation and orgasm. For a most guys they happen simultaneously. But for the lucky few, and those who practice the art of tantra, multiple orgasms are possible before the ejaculation.

crreampie1.jpgYou’ll notice your spunk tends to be sticky and thick right after you blow your load. But soon there after it begins to separate and become more runny. This is pretty normal. It is also normal for the color and texture of your jizz to vary from time to time. Sometimes it can be real milky, sometime it’s clearer with only streaks of milkiness in it. It can also contain gelatinous globules from time to time. A lot of this has to do with how hydrated you are, how many times you’ve cum recently and of course your age. Spooge production diminishes as we age.

Each ejaculation is actually a collection of spurts that send waves of pleasure throughout your body, but especially in your cock and groin area. The first and second convulsions are usually the most intense, and propel the greatest quantity of jizz. Each following muscle contraction is associated with a diminishing volume of cum and a milder wave of pleasure.

Most of us men folk can’t resist increasing manual or thrusting stimulation when we get to the point of ejaculatory inevitably. Which is too bad, because if we practiced some simple edging techniques — that is coming right up to the point of shooting, but then halting direct cock stimulation till the urge to pop subsides — our pleasure would increase. We’d last longer and our expected orgasm would be more powerful.

The typical male orgasm lasts about 17 seconds but can vary from a few seconds up to about a full minute. A typical ejaculation consists of 10 to 15 contractions.cum_drip.jpg

I know that I mentioned this before, but it bears repeating here. A recent Australian study has suggests that frequent masturbation, particularly as a young man, appears to reduce the risk of prostate cancer later in life.

If you’re chokin’ the chicken a lot your sperm count will be low and the amount of jizz you produce will be less. But also age, testosterone level, nutrition and especially hydration play a big part in that too. Just remember, a low sperm count, is not the same thing as a diminished volume of cum.

When a guy blows his wad before he wants to, it’s called premature ejaculation. If a man is unable to ejaculate when he want to, even after prolonged stimulation, it is called delayed ejaculation, retarded ejaculation or anorgasmia.

An orgasm that is not accompanied by ejaculation is known as a dry orgasm. And that may or may not have anything to do with semen production, because some men ejaculate into their bladder, and that, my friend, is called a retrograde ejaculation.

Name: Ernie
Gender:
Age: 50
Location: Atlanta
I love to taste cum. However sometimes it is quite bitter. I’ve worried that it’s because someone is taking medicine that comes through in the semen. Am I at risk swallowing some cum if the guy is on heart medication or other meds?

Well, darlin’, like I always say, we are what we eat…or in this case…what we consume.

facial006.jpegAbsolutely, you can be assured that there are trace amounts of unmetabolized drugs — pharmaceutical as well as recreational — in cum. This is not as much of a concern for jizz lappers, like you, as it is for piss guzzlers. But you oughtn’t fool yourself into thinking there will be no residue.

Here are some fun spooge facts. It’s protein, baby! And It contains only about 12 to 15 calories per cum shot. That’s same amount found in an egg white.

Alcohol, drugs and nicotine will make a guy’s spooge bitter. If you want your spooge to be sweet tasting, void junk foods and have lots of fruits and greens in your diet instead. Fruit juices like pineapple, citrus, and cranberry are also known to make cum taste sweeter. The higher the sugar content; melon, mango, apple, or grape, the sweeter the spooge. Likewise, vegetables like parsley and celery are also recommended. And just so you know, consumption of these things, even 20 minutes before a blow job can effect the taste of the cum produced.

— — And ya know what? The same is true for effecting the taste of pussy juice. How sweet is that? — —

Avoid fish and red meat, they produce a bitter, fishy taste because of their alkaline content. Chemically-processed alcohol can also make your joy juice taste bitter. Naturally fermented drinks are less likely to do so. Garlic and onion are likely to produce strong odors in your spunk since they are high in sulfur; so lay off these. And of course, asparagus is to be avoided pre-blowjob too.

Good luck ya’ll

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