From low libido to erectile dysfunction, some people report suffering from enduring sexual problems.
Antidepressants are widely prescribed, commonly used for depression and recommended to treat a range of other issues, from anxiety disorders to pain. But the medications aren’t without risk – and some potentially serious side effects start, or continue, after a person has stopped taking them.
These effects vary by the individual and the drug, but for the most commonly prescribed antidepressants – selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs, and serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors, or SSNIs – side effects, or adverse events reported by patients, range from headache, nausea and fatigue to paresthesia, or an abnormal sensation that can feel, to some, like electrical shocks, to insomnia to seizures. And though less widely recognized, some patients also report another enduring effect of SSRIs and SSNIs: sexual dysfunction.
To be sure, sexual side effects ranging from lower libido to erectile dysfunction are known and detailed in drug labeling information. But though online support groups have cropped up for people who experience persistent sexual dysfunction after going off antidepressants – post-SSRI sexual dysfunction, or PSSD – it’s not clear how common the concern is.
However, one recent paper co-authored by researchers linked with an independent drug safety website RxISK.org that collects reports of side effects – including after people stop medications – recently reported on 300 cases of enduring sexual dysfunction. These were reported by people from around the world who were taking SSRIs, SSNIs and tricyclic antidepressants, as well as drugs called 5α-reductase inhibitors and isotretinoin. which are used to treat male hair loss (baldness) and benign (non-cancerous) prostate enlargement, and acne respectively. Reports by patients who’d taken 5α-reductase inhibitors and isotretinoin to RxISK of enduring problems with sexual function after stopping these medications appeared to have similar characteristics to those related to antidepressants, notes co-author Dr. Dee Mangin, the David Braley and Nancy Gordon Chair in Family Medicine at McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario, and chief medical officer for RxISK.org.
“We were really looking at sexual dysfunction both on and after taking medication, because some of the reports we were getting were suggesting that sexual dysfunction, which is a known side effect of a number of drugs, seemed to be persisting once the drugs were stopped,” Mangin says.
As noted in the paper published in the International Journal of Risk & Safety in Medicine, there have been limited references to the potential for such issues to occur after patients stopped antidepressants. In the U.S., the product information for Prozac (fluoxetine) – the oldest of the SSRIs – was updated in 2011 to warn, “Symptoms of sexual dysfunction occasionally persist after discontinuation of fluoxetine treatment.” What’s more, the authors noted, “The fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), published in 2013, states that ‘In some cases, serotonin reuptake inhibitor-induced sexual dysfunction may persist after the agent is discontinued.'”
But the authors go further in detailing reports of enduring sexual dysfunction such as the onset of premature ejaculation and persistent genital arousal disorder (whereby a person becomes aroused without any stimulation) as well as losing genital sensation, or genital anaesthesia, pleasureless or weak orgasm, loss of libido and impotence. “Secondary consequences included relationship breakdown and impaired quality of life,” the authors note.
The individuals weren’t independently evaluated before, during or after taking the medication, and more study is needed. Still, Mangin asserts, “The study provides the strong signal that there is a group of people who seem to experience enduring side effects that affect their sexual function after they’ve stopped taking the drug.”
Experts say just as patients should never stop antidepressants abruptly, or without consulting with their provider – since doing so is known to increase side effect risk and worsen those effects – patient and provider should discuss any adverse effects that start or continue after stopping a medication.
Dr. Eliza Menninger, who directs a behavioral health program at McLean Hospital in Boston, says she hasn’t heard from patients voicing serious concerns about sexual side effects after stopping their medication. For the most part, sexual side effects seem to go away after patients stop taking the medication, Menninger says. “Some will indicate it’s still an issue, but they don’t seem as bothered by it – and I don’t know if it’s as bad an issue as when they were on the SSRI,” she says.
However, clinicians say, it would be helpful to have more clarity on the issue – including how likely it may be that patients could experience enduring sexual side effects. In part due to the sensitive nature of sexual complaints, experts point out, these effects often go unacknowledged in patient-provider conversations.
One problem is that sexual side effects aren’t tracked in a systematic way like other drug side effects – even though they can be severely damaging to intimate relationships and undermine a person’s overall quality of life and well-being. “There’s no requirement, for example, for drug companies to track sexual side effects. They’re not considered serious adverse events, although the potential for them to continue post-medication I would consider extremely serious – even a disability,” says Audrey Bahrick, staff psychologist at the University of Iowa’s counseling service.
Bahrick recently signed onto a petition, along with Mangin and others who’ve researched enduring sexual side effects, asking the U.S. Food and Drug Administration and other regulatory bodies to require makers of SSRIs and SSNIs to update drug labeling to warn that such legacy effects can occur and continue for years or even indefinitely.
Sandy Walsh, a spokesperson for the FDA, said it would review the petition and respond to the petitioner, but declined to comment further regarding the petition. Drugmakers who responded to a request for comment say they work closely with regulatory agencies to keep information updated.
Mads Kronborg, a spokesman for pharmaceutical firm Lundbeck, notes that summary production information for its SSRIs, citalopram (Celexa) and escitalopram (Lexapro), “already states that side effects can occur upon discontinuation, and that such side effects may be severe and prolonged.” Specifically, it’s stated that “generally these events are mild to moderate and are self-limiting, however, in some patients they may be severe and/or prolonged.” The side effects listed for citalopram and escitalopram “include sexual side effects,” he says, though he adds that sexual side effects are not among the most commonly reported reactions to discontinuation. “So information about potential enduring side effects is actually already included.”
But the petition asserts drug companies aren’t going far enough to acknowledge these concerns.
Bahrick says though the prevalence of enduring sexual side effects remains unknown, “My own impression clinically is that it’s not at all uncommon, and that it can range from subtle – not returning to sexual baseline – to really a complete sexual anesthesia, where a person who has been without any significant sexual problems prior to taking the medication might be rendered unable to experience sexual pleasure, unable to have sensation in the genitals, having orgasms that are not associated with pleasure,” she says. “These are clearly, I think, drug effects. [Issues] like genital anaesthesia and pleasureless orgasm – these are not symptoms that are associated with any sexual problems, say, that are commonly associated with depression. We can see these as legacy effects of the SSRIs.”
In the absence of prevalence data, clinicians continue to debate the potential extent of enduring sexual side effects for those who have stopped antidepressants. Some worry about unnecessarily scaring patients away from antidepressants who may benefit from taking the drugs.
“These medications are used to treat symptoms of illnesses that are potentially quite debilitating and can be lethal, so while I want to encourage a discussion of side effects, the intent is to use medications to help improve significant symptoms,” Menninger says. She points out, as the petition notes, that to date no prospective studies have been done assessing sexual dysfunction prior to SSRI and then during and after SSRI use. Though certainly side effects are real and concerning, she says, “there is clinical evidence the medications make a significant difference in helping [and/or] saving a life.” That’s something some clinicians emphasize shouldn’t get lost in the discussion.
But Bahrick says for patients, not having information that these effects may occur undermines their ability to make a fully informed decision when deciding to go on antidepressants, and deciding whether to try alternative treatment options first. “It’s so important to get this information out there on the front end. Because these injuries are very real and can be lifelong and seriously limit intimacy and create a lot of shame and isolation and despair,” she says. While for some the side effects go away on their own, for others they persist – and Bahrick says there’s no known cure for PSSD. “So this is in service of informed consent that is quite lacking at this time.”
Complete Article ↪HERE↩!
[Y]ou might assume that erectile dysfunction, or ED, is a normal problem that men face as they age. But because men (and women) take more medications as they age, the experts at Consumer Reports’ Best Buy Drugs report that side effects from those drugs are a little-known yet common cause of ED.
“Many medications can affect things like erectile dysfunction, desire and ejaculation in different ways and through different mechanisms of action,” says J. Dennis Fortenberry, former chair of the board of the American Sexual Health Association and the Donald Orr Professor of Adolescent Medicine at Indiana University School of Medicine.
Medications that can have these effects include high blood pressure drugs such as beta blockers, including atenolol (Tenormin), clonidine (Catapres), metoprolol (Lopressor) and methyldopa (Aldomet), and diuretics such as hydrochlorothiazide (Hydrodiuril).
Popular antidepressants and anti-anxiety drugs such as alprazolam (Xanax), diazepam (Valium), duloxetine (Cymbalta), fluoxetine (Prozac) and paroxetine (Paxil) can cause sexual problems such as delayed ejaculation, reduced sexual desire in men and erectile dysfunction. Lesser-known drug types that can also cause such sexual problems include antihistamines such as diphenhydramine (Benadryl) and antifungal drugs such as ketoconazole (Nizoral).
Surprisingly, heartburn drugs, including famotidine (Pepcid) and ranitidine (Zantac) are known to reduce sexual desire in men. In addition, reduced desire and erectile dysfunction have been reported in men taking the powerful painkillers oxycodone (OxyContin) and hydrocodone (Vicodin), muscle relaxers such as baclofen (Lioresal), and even over-the-counter ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin).
And perhaps not surprisingly, the more drugs a man takes, the greater his odds are of experiencing an issue. For example, in a 2012 study of men ages 45 to 69, those who took three to five drugs were 15 percent more likely to have erectile dysfunction than men taking two or fewer. Men who took six to nine drugs were 51 percent more likely to have erection problems.
Before making any change to your medications, talk with your doctor, says David Shih, a board-certified emergency medicine physician and executive vice president of strategy on health and innovation at CityMD, a network of urgent care centers in the New York metro area and Seattle.
If appropriate, your physician can make changes such as “lowering the medication dose, switching to a new medication or a combination therapy of lower doses each,” notes Shih.
Your doctor may also suggest temporarily stopping a medication — often referred to as taking a “drug holiday” — before having sex, if that is possible.
If you’ve just started taking a new drug, sexual side effects may disappear as your body adjusts. But if after a few months they don’t, discuss it with your physician. He or she will want to rule out other conditions that could cause your sex drive to take a nose-dive.
“The prescribing physician will need to explore if these symptoms are from cardiovascular disease, depressive disorder, diabetes, neurological disease and other illnesses,” says Shih.
Even suffering from sleep apnea is known to affect sexual interest or response.
That’s why, if you experience ED, it’s important to get to your doctor’s office for a detailed discussion about what could be causing it.
Dr Dick Sex Toy Reviews Is BACK!
Hey sex fans!
I got some fantastic news for you.
After a hiatus of nearly three years, I am reviving Dr Dick Sex Toy Reviews.
There have been lots of changes in the adult product marketplace over the intervening years and there have been lots of changes here at Dr Dick Sex Advice too.
When our last review appeared in December 2014 the Dr Dick Review Crew and I were plum tuckered out after more than seven years of grueling product testing. We all decided that it was high time to throw in the towel. Despite having the opportunity to sample some of the world’s best adult products we needed a break. Frankly, I thought for sure that when we ended our review run it was the end of it…for good. Well, like they always say, never say never.
Over the years, I’d hear from my loyal readership; they’d tell me that they missed our fun, informative, snarky, and sometimes irreverent reviews. My readers would ask about members of the Dr Dick Review Crew. “What ever happened to Jack & Karen, Glenn & Hank, Joy and Dixie and the others? And when are they gong to return?” I would answer the best I could, but I would always say, “It’s not likely that we’ll revive our product reviews, but I’m delighted to know that our thoughts and comments were meaningful and helped folks make wise buying decisions.”
The intervening years also brought several new potential reviewers. “Hey Dr Dick, If ever you revive your sex toy reviews, I want to volunteer to be on your crew.”
New and innovative products were coming to the marketplace and manufacturers would often reach out to me with offers to send me samples. Again, would thank them for their interest, but declined their offers.
The long and short of it is, I kinda missed the hurly-burley of it all too. There’s nothing like getting a new product delivered to your door, a product that holds out the promise of fun and pleasure.
So, we’re officially back!
We have some new Review Crew members, a hot load of very interesting products, and an eagerness to share it all with you.
Our inaugural product is something very special and here to tell you all about it is a new Dr Dick Review Crew Member, Trevor. I’ll let him introduce himself and what he has in his hot little hands.
Pulse III Duo —— $149.00
[H]ey all! I’m Trevor. I’m 32 years old. I’m originally from the UK, Manchester to be precise, but have been in the US since I was 13. I live with my da. My mom passed away three years ago. I am involved with this great gal. Shelia is her name. We’ve been together for just over a year.
I absolutely LOVE sex! I’ve been interested in sex for as long as I can remember. Get this, my da caught me wankin’ away like the little pervert I was when I was just eleven. Embarrassing, huh? Actually it was OK. I think he was as embarrassed as me. Anyhow, after that we’ve been able to talk about sex, which, I think, has been good for both of us. Especially now since my mom’s gone. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Right now, I want to introduce you to the Pulse III Duo. It’s the world’s first Guybrator. It says so right on the classy super-shiny outer box. And this lovely comes from the good people at Hot Octopuss out of London…the one in England. GO Great Britain!!
Inside the box you’ll find a drawstring storage pouch, which has the Hot Octopuss logo on it, a magnetic/USB charging lead and an instruction manual. Then there’s a formed cardboard insert that holds the Pulse III Duo and a round remote control. All the packaging is recyclable. That’s the first item on the Dr Dick Review Crew’ checklist for a GREEN product.
Now let’s take a quick look at the Pulse III Duo itself. It’s basically a palm-sized hammock for your dick. It has these two flexible wings that surround your cock and you can use it with either a limp dick or a stiffy. It’s covered in this beautiful 100% silicone skin and it’s also 100% waterproof. By the way, the Pulse III Duo is the second generation Pulse. There’s also a Pulse II and a Pulse III Solo.
There are buttons on either side of the Pulse III Duo, one for power and vibrating patterns on the left side, and two (+/-) buttons to control intensity on the right side. The Pulse III Duo’s remote activates and controls the independent external vibrator for clitoral stimulation when you use it as a couple. So it’s actually two vibrators in one.
After giving the Pulse III Duo a charge for four hours using the magnetic USB charger, it was ready to go. I used it alone first. I started with my limp dick. I placed it in the hammock with my frenulum, the underside of my cockhead, on the sweet spot of the guybrator, and switched it on. The pulsing piston-like osculation action got me rock hard in moments. This thing is fantastic! I cycled through the 6 stimulation modes and adjusted the intensity with each mode. I couldn’t believe the sensations. I nearly blew my wad in the first few minutes.
Just when I thought I had experienced the full range of sensations I happened upon the “Turbo” button. You just press and hold the (+) button for a moment and it will take your vibrations straight to warp speed. DAMN!! This took me over the top in a matter of a couple minutes. Now, just so you know, I wasn’t actually stroking myself; I was just holding the Pulse III Duo on my dick.
The next time out I decided to add some lube. As with all silicone toys, use only water based lube. A silicone based lube would mar the beautiful finish of the toy. This time I gripped the Pulse III Duo around my dick, folding the wings slightly to embrace my cock. It felt so good I almost forgot to add the vibration. I edged my self for about 20 minutes this way. No mean task, because the pleasure was so intense I had to release my cock several times just to avoid cumming too soon.
The third solo use was in the shower. I love to wank in the shower. And because the Pulse III Duo is waterproof it’s the ideal shower or bath buddy.
I can see where the Pulse III Duo would make a great tool for some guy trying to gain control over his ejaculation response. If you cum too quickly and you want to lean how to last longer, this toy could help train you to do that.
After nearly exhausting myself with solo play I decided to put the Pulse III Duo away till I had the opportunity to show it to and play with it with my gal, Shelia. Luckily, Shelia loves sex toys, particularly the ones that vibrate. In fact, she is the one that originally turned me on to sex toys.
One evening we got a little buzz on with some killer Chardonnay. I whipped out the Pulse III Duo and handed it to her. I didn’t tell her anything about it; I wanted to see if she could figure it out. She handled it a bit and said, “this is a guy’s toy, right?” “Well, it sure can be.” I responded. I told her about my solo play and how I nearly knocked myself out with the powerful orgasms I had with it.
She thought that was all fine and good, but said, “I thought you said this was a toy for couples.” “It IS!!” I responded. That’s when I handed her the remote and showed her how she could adjust the completely independent vibrations on the bottom of Pulse III Duo to stimulate herself while my cock was being stimulated in the hammock.
In no time we were out of our clothes and messin’ around. I put the Pulse III Duo around my dick and positioned the base of the thing on Shelia’s pussy. We were kissing passionately, she was using the remote to cycle through the vibrations, and, within minutes, we both came. Breathless, Sheila simply said, “Wow!”
This is the most fun we’ve had without actually fucking.
One thing to note; the Pulse III Duo is kinda loud, at least comparatively speaking. Shelia and I didn’t care, but you might.
If, for some reason you and your partner, guy or gal, don’t feel up to the old in and out of penetrative sex, this is the toy for you.
As I already mentioned, the Pulse III Duo is covered in velvety, latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic silicone. And because it is waterproof and made of silicone it’s a breeze to clean. Toss it into the skink with mild soap and warm water, scrub it down a bit, and let it air dry. Or you can just wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize for sharing.
I mentioned my da at the beginning of this review, right? He’s in his mid 60’s and has been having some problems with blood pressure. He confided in me some months ago that his blood pressure meds are robbing him of his erections. I felt so bad for him because I can get a boner at the drop of a hat. Once I saw what the Pulse III Duo could do with my flaccid dick I offered to share it with him.
I said, “Look what I got.” “What the hell is that?” He responded. I explained how the thing worked the best I could then showed him the Hot Octopuss website and some of the Pulse III Duo videos on YouTube. I said, “Ya know, you don’t even have to be hard to get enough pleasure to cum.”
I said, “I’m gonna just leave this here. Take it for a spin if ya like.”
He did and absolutely loved it. He went out the very next day and bought one for himself.
Full Review HERE!
[H]ave you ever wondered why men often wake up with an erection?
The morning penile erection, or as it is medically known, “nocturnal penile tumescence”, is not only an interesting physiological phenomenon, it can also tell us a lot about a patient’s sexual function.
Morning penile erections affect all males, even males in the womb and male children. It also has a female counterpart in the less frequently discussed nocturnal clitoral erection.
What causes erections?
Penile erections occur in response to complex effects of the nervous system and endocrine system (the glands that secrete hormones into our system) on the blood vessels of the penis.
When sexually aroused, a message starts in the brain, sending chemical messages to the nerves that supply the blood vessels of the penis, allowing blood to flow into the penis. The blood is trapped in the muscles of the penis, which makes the penis expand, resulting in an erection.
Several hormones are involved in influencing the brain’s response, such as testosterone (the main male hormone).
This same mechanism can occur without the involvement of the brain, in an uncontrolled reflex action that is in the spinal cord. This explains why people with spinal cord damage can still get erections and why you can get erections when not sexually aroused.
What about erections while we sleep?
Nocturnal penile erections occur during Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep (the phase during which we dream). They occur when certain areas of the brain are activated. This includes areas in the brain responsible for stimulating the parasympathetic nerves (“rest and digest” nerves), suppressing the sympathetic nerves (“flight and fight” nerves) and dampening areas producing serotonin (the mood hormone).
Sleep is made up of several cycles of REM and non-REM (deep) sleep. During REM sleep, there is a shift in the dominant system that’s activated. We move from sympathetic (fight and flight) stimulation to parasympathetic (rest and digest) stimulation. This is not found during other parts of the sleep cycle.
This shift in balance drives the parasympathetic nerve response that results in the erection. This is spontaneous and does not require being awake. Some men may experience nocturnal penile tumescence during non-REM sleep as well, particularly older men. The reason for this is unclear.
The reason men wake up with an erection may be related to the fact we often wake up coming out of REM sleep.
Testosterone, which is at its highest level in the morning, has also been shown to enhance the frequency of nocturnal erections. Interestingly, testosterone has not been found to greatly impact visual erotic stimuli or fantasy-induced erections. These are predominantly driven by the “reward system” of the brain which secretes dopamine.
Men don’t wake up with erections because they’ve been having sexy dreams.
Since there are several sleep cycles per night, men can have as many as five erections per night and these can last up to 20 or 30 minutes. But this is very dependent on sleep quality and so they may not occur daily. The number and quality of erections declines gradually with age but they are often present well beyond “retirement age” – attesting to the sexual well-being of older men.
It’s also important to highlight the counterpart phenomenon in women, which is much less researched. Pulses of blood flow in the vagina during REM sleep. The clitoris engorges and vaginal sensitivity increases along with vaginal fluidity.
What’s its purpose?
It has been suggested “pitching a tent” may be a mechanism for alerting men of their full overnight bladder, as it often disappears after emptying the bladder in the morning.
It’s more likely the reason for the morning erection is that the unconscious sensation of the full bladder stimulates nerves that go to the spine and these respond directly by generating an erection (a spinal reflex). This may explain why the erection goes away after emptying one’s bladder.
Scientific studies are undecided as to whether morning erections contribute to penile health. Increased oxygen in the penis at night may be beneficial for the health of the muscle tissues that make up the penis.
What does it mean if you don’t get one?
Loss of nocturnal erection can be a useful marker of common diseases affecting erectile function. One example is in diabetics where the lack of morning erections may be associated with erectile dysfunction due to poor nerve or blood supply to the penis. In this case, there’s a poor response to the messages sent from the brain during sleep which generate nocturnal erections.
It is thought nocturnal erections can be used as a marker of an anatomical ability to get an erection (a sign that the essential body bits are working), as it was thought to be independent of psychological factors that affect erections while awake. Studies have suggested, however, that mental health disorders such as severe depression can affect nocturnal erections. Thus its absence is not necessarily a marker of disease or low testosterone levels.
The frequency of morning erections and erection quality has also been shown to increase slightly in men taking medications for erectile dysfunction such as Viagra.
So is all this morning action good news?
While some men will put their nocturnal erections to good use, many men are not aroused when they have them and tummy sleepers might find them a nuisance.
Since good heart health is associated with an ability to have erections, the presence of nocturnal erections is generally accepted to be good news. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is important in avoiding and even reversing erectile dysfunction, so it’s important to remember to eat healthily, maintain a healthy weight, exercise and avoid smoking and alcohol.
Complete Article HERE!
By Cory Stieg
[I]f you sleep in the same bed as someone with a penis, your partner’s boner poking you in the back in the morning is like a natural alarm clock: inevitable, not always welcome, and hard to snooze. And it’s not just in the morning: Men get three to five erections during one night of sleep, and each one can last between 20 and 30 minutes. But does that mean that each of those times your partner gets hard they’re turned on and want to have sex? Not exactly, and most people can’t help that they randomly get boners in the middle of the night.
The proper term for “morning wood,” or night boners, is “nocturnal penile tumescence” (NPT). Nocturnal erections seem to follow a man’s sleep cycle, and usually happen during the REM phase of sleep, says Aleece Fosnight, MSPAS, PA-C, a urology physician assistant and a sexual health counselor. “It doesn’t mean that he is aroused or had a sexual dream or fantasy, but rather [it’s] the body’s way of ensuring the penile tissue remains healthy,” Fosnight says.
So, if they’re not aroused, why exactly do people get full-fledged boners? There’s a neurotransmitter called norepinephrine, and it’s responsible for stopping blood flow from the penis, among other things, Fosnight says. “When your body goes into REM sleep, norepinephrine actually drops, causing a rush of blood flow into the penis,” she says. “The way that ‘morning wood’ happens is when you wake up during one of those REM cycles when the penis is fuller.” This might not happen every morning, because, technically, people with penises have to be experiencing REM sleep to wake up with a boner, and you usually don’t wake up during REM, because it’s the deep sleep phase. But still, morning wood is incredibly common, Fosnight says.
Some experts also say that when people with penises have a full bladder, there’s a mechanical pressure that their brain interprets as pleasurable sexual arousal, and causes an erection, says Laurie Watson, LMFT, certified sex therapist. Either way, when a person wakes up with a boner, there’s a good chance they weren’t aroused before. (Of course, that doesn’t mean they can’t become aroused once they realize they have a boner.) And this isn’t just biology’s way of messing with us; it could be evolutionary, Fosnight says.
“Most speculate that [NPT] helps to keep the penis healthy by promoting oxygen-rich blood flowing into those tissues,” Fosnight says, adding that NPT could also possibly prevent erectile dysfunction, or it could just be a sign that the penis is working normally. “Erections that occur during sleep are completely normal and happen nightly throughout a man’s life and are not caused by sexual stimulation,” she says.
And even though these boners may wake up sleeping partners in the middle of the night, NPT is considered beneficial from a sexual health perspective, too. “NPT is a wonderful thing, because it shows that a man is capable of achieving an erection organically,” says Eric Garrison, a clinical sexologist. “If he is incapable of achieving an erection with a partner, though he experiences NPT, then we would assume that there is an emotional cause for his erectile concerns.”
So, the next time your partner bumps you with their hard penis, they’re not necessarily trying to have sex, but you can consider it an opportunity to ask, “You up?”
Complete Article HERE!
By JOACHIM OSUR
Lois came to the sexology clinic because she was sexually dissatisfied with her husband. It had been six months of no sex in their 11-year old marriage. Before that, her man had suffered repeated episodes of erection failure. “The few times he did get an erection, it was flaccid and short-lived,” Lois explained. “You can only imagine how that can be frustrating to a faithful wife.”
Lois suspected that her husband was getting sexual satisfaction elsewhere, and had angrily told him she didn’t want to have sex with him anymore. “I thought he was no longer interested in me because I had gained too much weight after bearing our two children, a very hurtful thought,” she explained sadly.
And so for six months the couple kept off each other. The relationship got strained and unfortunately Andrew, Lois’ husband, threw himself into his work. He stayed late at work and came home after everyone was asleep. He woke up and left the house early. He paid no attention to their two children anymore.
“So how can I help you?” I asked, lots of thoughts going through my mind due to the complexity of the case. You see, the man, who was the one having a problem, had not come to the clinic. Erection failure or erectile dysfunction (ED) is a complex symptom that requires a thorough assessment for its cause to be pinpointed. I needed Andrew to come see me himself.
VICTIM OF THE RELATIONSHIP
“What do you mean that it is a symptom of complex problems?” Lois asked, frowning. ED is simply a failure to be aroused sexually. This could be due to the derangement of some chemicals in the brain such as dopamine. It could also be due to hormonal problems such as low testosterone, high prolactin and so on.
What we are also seeing at the clinic is a rise in cases of diabetes and hypertension, usually accompanied by obesity. Most of the affected people have high cholesterol. These diseases destroy blood vessels, including those in the penis, making erections impossible. Further still, the diseases can destroy nerves, and if the nerves of the penis are affected, erections fail. People with heart, kidney, liver and other chronic illnesses may similarly get ED either from the diseases or from the medicines used to treat them.
Stressful lifestyles are also contributing to ED quite a bit these days. Many people work two jobs to get by, and have no time to relax or get adequate sleep. A physically worn out, sleep-deprived body is too weak to have an erection and you should expect ED to befall you any time if this is your lifestyle.
But emotional distress is even more dangerous for ED. If you are consistently emotionally distressed due to social, economic or relationship pressures, you can be sure to lose erections. Being annoyed with your intimate partner all the time, and feeling undermined or frustrated are bad for your erections. Further, feeling like a victim in the relationship can lead to ED. All these are further complicated by anxiety and depression, which are bound to set in as part of the relationship problem or as a result of the ED itself.
“So can’t you just give me some medicine for him to try then if it fails he can come for full assessment?” Lois asked, realising that my explanation was taking longer than she had anticipated.
Unfortunately that was not possible. We get this kind of request all the time at the clinic. In fact, people make phone calls asking for tablets to swallow to get erections immediately. Sometimes they call from the bathroom with their partner in the bed waiting for action yet the erection has failed. There is however no alternative to a thorough assessment and treatment of the cause of the ED.
Andrew came to the clinic a few days later. A full assessment found that he had a stressful career and relationship difficulties, and both had taken a toll on his sex life. He had to undergo a lifestyle change. Further, the couple went through intimacy coaching. It was another six months before they resumed having sex.
Complete Article HERE!
When pleasuring another dude’s cock, when should I stop riding/sucking/stroking after he’s cum? I know how sensitive my cock gets after cumming, but I also feel like some of the sweetest and most intimate moments can be what I do with his cock as it subsides and softens, not to mention that there can still be intense, intense pleasure in those early post-cum moments.
Go for it, while adapting to his needs!
[I] agree with you that the sweetest and most intense pleasurable sensations can be had soon after ejaculation. I personally call this post-ejaculatory penile massage post-orgasmic goading (but that’s a personal terminology as I’ve never seen an official terminology for this) because this deliberate teasing is done at a time where we all know the penis to be extremely sensitive.
Post-orgasmic goading is not something we men tend to do instinctively for ourselves, as a consequence of the additive impact of three phenomena happening quickly after ejaculation:
- The powerful and overwhelming sensation of fatigue that numbs us after ejaculation
- The almost instantaneous disappearance of all interest for sex that follows ejaculation
- The excruciating sensitiveness of the penis — of the glans in particular — following ejaculation
Acting synergistically, these phenomena trained us very early into avoiding any stimulation to our penis after ejaculation. In fact, this is something most of us were driven to understand only a few weeks after our first ejaculation. As a result, most men will have little to no experience with (and, for some, even the knowledge of) the powerful sensations that can be squeezed out from the penis after ejaculation.
Does that mean that post-orgasmic goading should be avoided? Not at all: on the contrary, it should be encouraged.
What it means however, is that you have to be mindful when initially introducing a partner to post-orgasmic masturbation.
- Begin by announcing your intent. I don’t mean writing down a contract in triplicates, but after the guy has cum and you continue to masturbate him, tell him that you do. Something like “seeing you cum was wonderful, I want to see you squirm and hear you moan longer”. Eventually, you won’t need to ask his permission to go on with the post-orgasmic goading, but at first you’ll need to, so that your partner doesn’t feel apprehensive. Indeed, when unexpected, post-orgasmic goading will bring forth a feeling of loss of control (and it is, to a point). And most men don’t live well with that feeling, as it is not part of the male psyche.
- Be clear that you’ll stop if he asks to, and indeed stop when he does asks you to… but with a slight delay. The delay is important as the intensity of the caresses are very likely to make him utter you to stop way too soon. So you should playfully continue a bit longer, yet without going overboard so that he’ll know that you can be trusted. At first, you might not continue for long after ejaculation, but as he learns both that you can be trusted and to let go, you’ll be able to give him long minutes of quasi-orgasmic pleasures…
- Finally, be considerate. While you can continue to caress the shaft with a relatively strong grip (yet toned down compared to how you held his cock as you sent him through orgasm), you must handle the glans with extreme care. Using his semen(1) as lube, rub the glans slightly and delicately with your fingertips. You’re better off beginning too delicately than the other way around because if you begin the cockhead’s caresses too harshly, it will hurt and that will be the end of it. To evaluate your accomplishment, watch his abs for sudden contractions, watch his shoulders dance around, watch his head moving back and forth, watch also for his hand(s) that may attempt to grip you (surprisingly) strongly in an attempt to immobilize you. Listen to his moans also. Embolden him to move and moan…
- When introducing a man to post-orgasmic goading, one has to be initially very mindful and open to the needs of the other. When done correctly, it opens a new world of sensations and it is totally fun and addictive(2) ! After some time, you’ll be able to make him dance, squirm and whimper for a surprisingly long time. He will even be looking for it.
While semen is a hassle to deal with after ejaculation, we all like to be reminded that we ejaculated and how much we came. Playing with our semen and smearing it all over helps drive the point that we came and helps us registering that we impregnated the world with our DNA. It makes us feel manly. It’s important to fool around with cum, and doing so won’t change the fact that a clean up is needed after orgasm.
This article is written with a partner in mind as this is the question, but the same applies to you too. Every man should use post-orgasmic goading on their own cock. The same careful and delicate approach applies, especially since it is so difficult to persevere at first, as the glans’ exquisite sensitivity tends to make us spineless. Yet, going against the post orgasmic fatigue and the transient disinterest in sex, on one side, and learning to exploit instead of steering clear from the penis’ post orgasmic sensitiveness, on the other side, allows us to milk even more pleasure from our penis. Something no one can be averse to, right? As it goes so much against our instinctual behavior however, it has to be learned and practiced. Practice makes perfect, though. So practice my lad, practice !
Penises can be problematic. They are powerful, untameable beasts, capable of wielding immense pleasure but also able to cause devastating emotional wounds. And that’s just anal sex
by Liam Murphy
As well as the obvious physical harm that can be inflicted – skinny jeans have cursed a generation to suffer cock-caught-in-fly related trauma – the magnificent meat mallet can also bring mental torment when, like an untrained puppy, it just won’t do as it’s told.
THE HARDER THE BETTER?
Some of the best things are hard: hard-boiled eggs, biscuits, those rhubarb and custard sweets, Tom Hardy and, of course, the penis. However, sometimes they can spring up at the most unexpected and inopportune times, and just won’t go away.
“I call my hard-on issue uncontrollable as such,” says 21-year-old Ian, “let’s say ‘eager’ or ‘keen’. It doesn’t take much and it’s ‘up periscope’ time. I’ve been this way as long as I’ve appreciated the male form. I went through a phase of wearing an over the shoulder bag in my late teens so I could cover the odd bus boner (the vibrations cause a right disturbance). Rather that than poke someone in the eye on the way past, I guess!”
However, impromptu erections can also lead to embarrassing retail situations, as Ian explains. “Recent men’s fashion means that I’ve become accustomed to skinny fit jeans, and for whatever reason, I went commando that day – I’m sure you know where I’m going with this – and I guess it must have been particularly sensitive or whatever. Anyway, I ended up with a lob-on in Tesco. My skinny jeans/tight t-shirt combo meant there was no hiding, so I did what any self-respecting bloke would do. I awkwardly leant over the shopping trolley for the next ten minutes. On the upside, I can also get hard on demand! It’s just a combination of a high sex drive and an involuntary physical reaction, I think.”
For Kieran, 25, his perilously perky penis is just part of his day. “I wouldn’t say it’s an issue – more just a fact of life. Some people sweat a lot, some people yawn a lot… I get boners a lot. Not getting them would be an issue, but getting too many, yeah that’s a ‘problem’ I’m OK with – at least I know it’s all working well. It does pop up at any time. When I was due to be giving a talk, someone gave me a wink and boom… up popped my friend downstairs to take his moment centre stage. I stood behind the lectern desperately thinking of Margaret Thatcher and trying to kill it so I could step out and begin my talk properly. The worst though, is when someone you don’t fancy or don’t want to have sex with tries it on and it just feels like he’s betraying you.”
And how does one manage the curse (or blessing, depending on your perspective) of a perpetual hard-on? “Like everyone else I learned the ‘tuck it behind your belt’ trick, or to hide it behind my belt. Granted, occasionally there have been times when I’ve had to miss my tube stop and stay sitting down while I waited for one to subside.”
Will, 38, didn’t notice the problem cropping up until he was in a relationship. “I was never aware of it until I met my boyfriend and it became apparent early on that I would get erect whenever I was around him. It has settled down a bit now but whenever we kissed in public I would get a twinge. And in bed it still sometimes feels like I have an erection all night. I would generally be embarrassed that I was getting these erections. I felt immature. This is what happens to a teenager, not an adult. I was going through a difficult break-up once – lots of tears – we were cuddling and I was hard. I realised then that my hard-ons were not always about sex – to me they were about love too.”
Erectile dysfunction can happen to a lot of people, in varying degrees and for many reasons, medical or otherwise.
“It happens to me every time I put on a condom,” admits Steven, 34. “I have no problem keeping it up before fucking – wanking and getting sucked off have never been a problem – but when I go to fuck someone and I slide the condom on, I lose the hardness. Not totally, but enough that I can’t properly put it in someone’s arse and enough that the sensation goes for me.”
Steven tried mixing up condom brands. “I’ve used thin, ultra-thin, ribbed, tingle… every version of a condom you could imagine and I still get the same flaccid result. I think it must be a psychological thing, because it’s not like I can’t get hard at all. It’s fine when I bareback with long term boyfriends, but with one nighters I tend to have to bottom now.”
Anxiety can often be a cause of not being able to maintain an erection, as 27-year-old James confirms: “Sex in general makes me anxious. I hate getting naked and I get so nervous when it comes to getting down to it in bed. I was dating a guy I really liked, so much that when he touched me I would physically shake, but when it came to sex I just couldn’t get hard. He thought I didn’t like him! And now I dread having sex. I love the dating side of it but I always know that heading to the bedroom is going to be inevitable.”
What can cause you to have trouble getting or staying hard?
- Stress and anxiety.
- Hormone levels.
- Smoking, recreational drugs and alcohol.
- Some prescribed drugs – like Prozac and Seroxat.
- Diabetes, high cholesterol and high blood pressure.
- Psychological reasons – the more you worry about your erection, the less likely you are to be able to get one.
What can I do to make myself hard?
If you think the reason is psychological – a distraction helps, so encourage your partner to focus on something other than your cock for a while – kissing or nipple play might help to get you back in action.
- Cockrings can also be used to help maintain a hard-on – leather or rubber straps are safer to use.
- Drugs like Viagra or Cialis – consult your doctor for these.
Matthew Hodson, CEO of GMFA told us: “Rolling a condom onto a rock-hard penis isn’t a problem but if it’s a bit soft and you start to get anxious then it’s easy to spiral with anxiety to the point where a condom is really tricky to use. The more you’re concerned that you won’t be hard enough to use a condom, the more likely it is to happen. If it’s just an occasional problem it’s probably best not to make a big thing of it and just do something else that turns you on while you wait for it to get hard again. If it’s becoming more of a problem, you might want to experiment with cock-rings or talk with your GP about it – there’s no need to be embarrassed, you won’t be the first person who will have approached them with the same problem. Most erection problems can be addressed so there’s no reason why a temporarily soft dick should be a long-term barrier to you enjoying sex safely.”
Everyone should be able to enjoy a penis (which is my campaign slogan if I ever run for Prime Minister), especially their own. Whether it’s too hard or too soft, it doesn’t mean you and your cock have to suffer alone. Confide in your partner/lover/friend/doctor and discuss what you can do to get you and your lifelong pleasure companion talking again.
Step 1: When your cock is hard, take the condom out of the wrapper carefully using your fingers. Using your teeth to tear the packet could damage the condom. Squeeze the air out of the teat on the tip of the condom (if there is one) and put it over the end of your cock. Don’t stretch it and then pull it over your cock as this will make it more likely to break.
Step 2: Roll it down the length of your cock – the further down it goes the less likely it is to slip off. Put some water-based or silicone-based lubricant over your condom-covered cock. Put plenty of lube around his arse too. Don’t put any lube on your cock before you put the condom on, as this can make it slip off.
Step 3: Check the condom occasionally while fucking to ensure it hasn’t come off or split. If you fuck for a long time you will need to keep adding more lube. When you pull out, hold on to the condom and your cock at the base, so that you don’t leave it behind. Pull out before your cock goes soft.
What lube should I use?
When you don’t use enough lube, or use the wrong kind, the likelihood of condom failure is increased, making transmission of HIV and other STIs possible. Water-based lubes (e.g. K-Y, Wet Stuff and ID Glide) and silicone-based lubes (Eros Bodyglide and Liquid Silk) work well with condoms. Oil-based lubricants like cooking oil, moisturisers, sun lotions, baby oil, butter, Crisco, Elbow Grease, etc. can also cause latex condoms to break.
They can however be used with non-latex condoms, like Durex Avanti, Mates Skyn or Pasante Unique. Don’t use spit as it dries up quickly and increases the chance of your condom tearing.
Complete Article HERE!
by Raffaello Manacorda
That Awkward Moment When…
If you’re a man, you’ve probably experienced this. Everything is perfect, the foreplay is going great, and the stage is set for a throbbing, mind-blowing, heart-shattering lovemaking. Your erection is strong and powerful, and feeling it turns you on even more.
And then, that moment comes. Your lover looks at you sweetly but squarely in the eyes, and with a soft but firm voice says, “We need to use a condom.”
This makes perfect sense. The risk of STIs and/or pregnancy is real. So you’ve got to wear that condom.
But our genitals don’t understand logic. And, sometimes, it only takes a few seconds of this pause for your penis to soften. Her being sweet and comprehensive only makes things worse: something inside you tells you that you won’t be able to do it if you wear a condom.
I’ve gone through the same process. I used to consistently lose my erection whenever a woman asked me to wear a condom. It wasn’t pretty. I hate to admit it, but a couple of times I even lied to a partner, telling her that there were no condoms in the house, while I actually had plenty. I just was too scared of sexual failure. Boy, am I grateful that no one got an STI or got pregnant because of that dirty little lie of mine.
So why on Earth does this happen? Why do we men lose our erection because of condoms?
The Real Reason Condoms Turn Men Off…
You might try to fool yourself and others with explanations such as:
- That you don’t feel enough pleasure with a condom.
- That a condom squeezes your penis too much.
- That the pause “takes the romance away”…
But deep in your heart, you know that those are not the real reasons.
As for sensitivity and comfort, you know well that your penis is not all that sensitive. In fact, the harder it is, the less sensitive it is. And as for the non-romanticism of the 2-minutes pause, you have fantasized or have been in way less romantic situations, where your erection stood strong and implacable.
So WHAT is the real reason why you lose your erection? And what can you do about it?
To answer this question, the first thing you need to understand is that your main sexual organ sits in between your ears or, if you prefer, inside your chest. It is your head and your heart that turn you on (or off).
So, the reason why we men lose our erection when a woman asks us to wear a condom is that some deeply uncomfortable thought and/or emotion arises in us in response to that request. And what might that thought or feeling be?
Although every man is different, that uncomfortable thought is virtually always a variation on the same theme: she asking you to wear a condom carries the message that she does not accept you inside her body. And this can be truly devastating for a man.
Some Truths About Male Sexuality
Men love to feel invited, welcomed, by a trusting lover that opens up to their force and thrust. When the body of a woman is welcoming, wet, inviting, this is a huge turn-on for a man. When the body and soul of a woman tense, close up, tighten – this is a turn-off.
Men deeply crave to feel accepted, welcomed, and trusted.
The request to wear a condom challenges that. It can seem to convey the following messages:
- If you don’t wear it, I won’t let you inside me (you’re unwelcome)
- I don’t trust you to be healthy, or to control your ejaculation (you’re not trusted)
This is the subterranean thought that runs into most men’s mind, and makes them lose their erection.
Understanding it is the first step towards liberating your sexuality from this blockage.
As a man, you need to realize that, even if you wear a condom, you are welcome and accepted. That she wants you just as badly. In fact, she wants you so badly that she wants to be fully trusting and surrendered. And in order for that to happen, she needs to feel safe. This conviction will take some time to build, but once it’s there, it will never leave you. Condoms won’t be an issue anymore.
In order to get there, the best thing to do is start practicing, both by yourself and with a partner.
Practicing By Yourself
Get familiar and friendly with condoms. Buy a pack of condoms and start experimenting. Wear a condom and play with yourself.
Now, I know that the condom instructions say that you should wear it only when you are fully erect. The reason they say this is that if your penis is not fully erect, then a condom can potentially slip away, which is not cool. But for now, you can forget about this. You are alone, and you can wear a condom even if your penis is completely flaccid. In fact, you should practice this skill. Wear a condom on your soft penis, and then stimulate your penis so that it becomes hard.
Familiarize yourself with the condom, and lose your aversion to it. This will be really useful once you practice with a partner.
Practicing With a Partner
This is potentially going to be scary, so you’ll need to set a firm intention: you won’t back off. You will wear a condom no matter what, whether you end up having intercourse or not.
Next time you have the opportunity, do not wait for your partner to propose using a condom. Once you have enjoyed your foreplay long enough, go ahead and say the magic phrase: “I’ll put on a condom now, just in case.”
That means that, whether you are going to penetrate your partner or not, you can wear a condom anyway and then continue with whatever you were doing. At some point you may even forget that you have a condom on.
Your partner also has a role in this. You can ask her to support you in a very simple way: by doing with your penis exactly what she would do with it if there were no condoms. Touching it, sucking it, teasing it—just as if that condom did not exist.
And now, if the moment is ripe for both of you, still wearing your condom, penetrate her. Don’t worry if your erection isn’t that strong. In that case, just make sure to hold the bottom of your condom with your fingers to make sure it doesn’t slip away. But do get yourself to the point where you can penetrate her while still wearing a condom.
This moment is a threshold, and after that, the rest will be much easier. The more you feel that things are going well, the more natural it will become to continue making love with a condom. You will notice that it isn’t all that different from not using it, and that wearing a condom will give both of you more confidence and a feeling of safety. Since you are practicing here, refrain from ejaculating inside your partner, even if you are wearing a condom. The purpose now is to gain confidence with condoms—not necessarily to have the hottest lovemaking of your life.
Every man on this planet should be able to make love with a condom, if necessary. We owe it to ourselves, and we owe it to our partners, men or women. Asking a partner not to use condoms just to protect our sexual pride is not an option. If two lovers decide to not use condoms, let that be a conscious decision, rather than a slippery workaround of a sexual blockage.
Complete Article HERE!
This is the first time I’ve asked a question and my boyfriend said this is a great place to go, soo here goes…
I recently went off of the anti-depressant medication Lexapro, and what’s fantastic about it is that my sex drive has gone way up. The downfall is since I started that, it’s hard for me to get hard and to come. Now that I am off of the medication, I can come easier and everything feels better and my boyfriend is happy, but it’s still really hard to get hard and stay hard. My boyfriend says he doesn’t mind when I know he does, and it is a really big hit on my confidence and self-esteem. Here’s the kicker, I am a 17-year-old teenage boy.
Is this permanent? Will it, in the future, be easier to get and stay hard the longer I am off the medication? I don’t know if this is normal or not, but I remember before having absolutely no problems. Help? Thank you so much!!
Well, Very Shy, what I can say for certain is that anti-depressants, as well as a host of other commonly prescribed medications, and even some over the counter meds, can and do have a major impact on a person’s sexual response cycle. Let me begin by asking you; how familiar are you with the concept of a sexual response cycle?
Considering your youth, you may have not heard of it at all. So ok, here’s the 411 on that. We all have a sexual response cycle, each person’s is unique, but everyone’s follows a similar pattern of phases.
Phase 1: Excitement — this phase, which can last from a few minutes to several hours, includes the following:
- Muscle tension increases.
- Heart rate quickens and breathing accelerates.
- Skin may become flushed.
- Nipples become harden or erect.
- Blood flow to the genitals increases, which swells a woman’s clitoris and labia minora (inner lips), and a guy’s cock bones up.
- Vaginal lubrication begins.
- A woman’s breasts become fuller and her vaginal walls begin to swell.
- The man’s balls swell, his scrotum tightens, and he begins secreting precum.
Phase 2: Plateau — this phase, which extends to the brink of orgasm, includes the following:
- The changes begun in phase 1 intensify.
- A woman’s vagina continues to swell from increased blood flow, and her vaginal walls turn a dark purple.
- Her clitoris becomes highly sensitive and retracts under her clitoral hood.
- A guy’s nuts further withdraw up into his scrotum.
- Breathing, heart rate and blood pressure continue to rise.
- Muscle tension increases.
- Muscle spasms may begin in one’s feet, face and hands.
Phase 3: Orgasm — this is the climax of the sexual response cycle and it generally lasts only a few seconds. It includes the following:
- Involuntary muscle contractions begin.
- Blood pressure, heart rate and breathing are at their highest rates, with a rapid intake of oxygen.
- Muscles in the feet spasm.
- There is a sudden, forceful release of sexual tension.
- A women’s vagina contracts. She may experience rhythmic contractions in her uterus.
- The muscles at the base of a guy’s dick will rhythmically contract resulting in an ejaculation of his jizz.
- A sex flush may appear over one’s body.
Phase 4: Resolution
- The body slowly returns to its normal level of functioning, and swelled and erect body parts return to their previous size and color.
- There’s a general sense of well-being, enhanced intimacy and, often, fatigue. Women are capable of rapidly returning to the orgasm phase with further sexual stimulation and can experience multiple orgasms.
- Us men folk need recovery time after our orgasm. This is called a refractory period, during which we cannot reach orgasm again. The duration of the refractory period varies among men and changes with age.
With that behind us, I can turn my attention to your specific questions. At any point in this cycle there can be an interruption or break down. Like I said at the outset, some pharmaceuticals, as well as lots of over the counter remedies, can and do impede our sexual response.
You don’t mention how long you’ve been off the Lexapro, but I’ll wager it’s not long enough for it to have completely cleared your system. In that case, a little patience with yourself and perhaps a sense of humor about the whole thing will be the best therapy for you. I suspect that you will regain your sexual footing in time. However, a cockring may help you gain and retain an erection till that happens.
Erectile Dysfunction (ED) means your man can’t get it up or keep it up during sex. Many men suffer from this condition — approximately 30 million men to be exact. To explain what causes this, let’s review the basic anatomy of the penis and what happens during an erection.
The penis has four main parts: glans (the head), corpus cavernosum and corpus spongiosum (the shaft), and the urethra (the hole that you urinate or ejaculate from). When a man is aroused from sexual thoughts or direct stimulation, nerves and hormones work to cause the muscles in the penis to relax and the corpus cavernosum and spongiosum will fill with blood causing the shaft to get hard — an erection. Another set of muscles cuts off the blood supply when the penis is erect to maintain its hardness. Once he orgasms, the blood will drain and the penis softens.
So what causes erectile dysfunction? There’s more than one answer. Taking prescribed medications to control blood pressure, allergies, anxiety, depression, peptic ulcer disease and or your appetite can lead to ED as can aging, and being depressed. Chronic illnesses such as diabetes, high blood pressure, or high cholesterol which can lead to poor blood flow to the penis can cause a penis to be limp. Drinking too much alcohol, smoking cigarettes, doing illegal drugs, even being too tired, having relationship problems, being stressed out about work or being anxious can cause this problem.
Any type of damage to the penis, nerves, and arteries that help maintain his erection can also lead to ED. The good news is that ED can be treatable. Just talk to your doc — an urologist. They will do a history and physical and order lab tests. If embarrassment has caused you to turn to the Internet for treatment options, be warned that this can be dangerous. You just don’t know what is in the medications that you get from many online sites. Before you turn to medications or even surgery to fix this problem, let’s discuss some ways to cope with a man who can’t get or maintain an erection NATURALLY.
- Make him do more Cardio exercises. He needs only 30 minutes a day. This will boost his testosterone. He may also lose weight, which can help the testosterone to work better. Testosterone is one of those important hormones that work to get an erection. Exercising also reduces stress and increases blood flow — all factors that can help! Read all about sex hormones HERE!
- Cook for him. There are nitrates in leafy greens, lycopene in tomatoes, and zinc in oysters. These essential nutrients will help keep his penis erect. Diet is so important. Read all about sex and food HERE!
- Have more FOREPLAY with him. Try oral sex. And remember, oral doesn’t just mean the penis. Play with his nipples or the back of his neck. KISS him more. Add sex toys in the bedroom BUT make sure they are smaller than his penis. Read all about foreplay HERE!
- Purchase a vacuum penis pump. This fun device will draw blood into the penis to help get it erect. If you have an increased risk of bleeding, have sickle cell anemia, or other blood disorders, this is NOT for you. And be careful — if not used correctly, this can cause bruising. Read all about penis pumps HERE!
- Try using a cock ring. Once you get the penis erect, this sex toy will keep it that way. Read all about cock rings HERE!
You should also make sure your man gets his diabetes, cholesterol, and/or high blood pressure under control. Quit smoking. Make sure he doesn’t drink alcohol or do hard drugs. Find ways to reduce his stress and anxiety. Make sure he is getting enough sleep. Get help if you are suffering from depression. Ladies (and guys) try not to be discouraging. You both will overcome this.
My new boyfriend is really frustrated and doesn’t want to have sex anymore because he can’t come. He says he’s had this problem for a while and hasn’t come with any girl for over a year. I see how upset he is and I know he still wants to sleep with me, but says it hurts when he gets excited and nothing happens. Is there something I can do? I tell him to see a doctor but I don’t think he will. Thanks a lot!
Wow, that’s a bummer Alice. Unfortunately, you don’t supply me with enough information for me to make an educated guess about what might be up with him. Does he have erections? Does he masturbate? Is he on any medications? These are the first questions I’d ask him. Since he isn’t here and neither are you, I’m gonna make a stab in the dark.
If I had to guess, I’d say your man is suffering from a real bad case of performance anxiety. He doesn’t need a medical doctor; he needs to learn to relax and be in the moment. If this is an arousal phase issue then that should help. If it’s and orgasmic phase issue, relaxing and enjoying the pleasure will also help.
Here’s how performance anxiety works. Say a fella has a less than satisfying sexual experience for one reason or another. Before he know it, he replaying the incident over and over in his head, till that’s all he can think about. The proverbial molehill becomes a mountain. He brings his anxiety to his next sexual encounter. His hyper-consciousness primes him for more disappointment. And he’s ready to interpret all disappointment as a failure. And this can interrupt either the arousal phase or orgasmic phase of our sexual response cycle.
Well, you can see where I’m going with this, huh? His fears become self-fulfilling. Before he knows it, he begins to avoid sex. His relationships suffer. He develops a full-blown sexual dysfunction. And his self-esteem takes a nosedive. His preoccupation with his problem makes it less likely that he’ll be fully present during sex with his partner, which pretty much fucks up his sexual responsiveness and any hope for spontaneity.
It sounds to me like performance anxiety is putting a damper on his sexual arousal and thus short-circuiting the rest of his sexual response cycle, including orgasm.
This is nothing to fool around with, especially for someone at his tender age. When I see this sort of thing in my private practice, I always begin the therapeutic intervention by calling a moratorium on fucking of any kind. This immediately takes a great deal of the pressure off the couple. From there we begin to rebuild the partnered psycho-sexual response one step at a time. We begin with sensate focus training, stress reduction, and relaxation exercises. I have the greatest confidence in this method. It succeeds over 90% of the time.
(Never happened before) But I couldn’t get it up tonight, and this chick was H OT. Now I’m not gay at all, but I haven’t had sex in about 3 years because I was locked up…so I masturbated pretty regularly about 3 or 4 times a week. But I can’t figure out why I was soft… the only thing I can think of is “I ate clams tonight and I’ve never had them before. Could it be that or should I get checked out?
It weren’t the clams, my friend! And I don’t think you need to get check out, either…at least not right away. If you could back away from the situation a little bit and stop freakin’ out. I think you’d discover the source of your problem all on your own.
Here’s the thing, while you were out of commission, there in the jailhouse, you relied on, as you say, jerkin’ off. Ok, cool. We all gotta get by somehow. Now the first time you try to score after your release; you go soft. This tells me you have a mild case of performance anxiety. We all get that from time to time.
There’s probably nothing wrong with you or with your johnson. You just got the jitters first time you tried to get you some fine pussy after bein’ away, that’s all.
The anticipation of bonin’ this HOT chick, fueled by some predictable self-consciousness; what with just gettin out of the slammer and all, pulled the plug on your wood. No surprise there, right?
What I don’t want to see happen is for you to replay the incident over and over in your mind’s eye till that’s all I can think about. Hey, maybe that’s already happening. If it is, this proverbial molehill will, sure enough, become a mountain. You’ll then bring all this anxiety to your next encounter. Setting you up for even more disappointment. You can see how this shit can snowball, right?
If you interpret every less than satisfying encounter as a failure, your fears will become self-fulfilling. You’ll begin to avoid partnered sex and you’ll develop a full-blown sexual dysfunction. Your self-esteem will take a nosedive too.
If you are preoccupied with your performance, it’s less likely that you’ll be fully present during sex with a partner. This pretty much fucks up your sexual responsiveness and any hope for spontaneity. Don’t let this happen to you, Bob. Why not just relax into the whole sex thing and not try to prove your manhood or your sexual prowess with your pecker?
Hey sex fans!
It’s our first Product Review Friday of 2013! And this week we feature two more innovative products from the creative folks at Perfect Fit Brand. As you all probably know the Perfect Fit Brand is responsible for one of the best product of 2012 — the Best Product or Toy for Men — Fat Boy Cock Extender.
We’ve come to expect great things from this fine, young company. In fact, this is our 4th Perfect Fit Brand review and each and every product has been a winner. To keep track of all our PFB reviews use the search function in the header of DrDickSexToyReviews.com, type in Perfect Fit Brand, and PRESTO!
Dr Dick Review Crew members, Ken & Denise are here to tell us about the two cockrings they’ve been fiddlin’ around with.
Cruiser Cock Ring —— $19.60
Silaskin Cruiser Cock Ring —— $19.60
Ken & Denise
Denise: “I can’t believe it’s 2013 already. I was just looking back on all the reviews we’ve done since we joined this effort way back in July of 2008. We’ve had some amazing fun.”
Ken: “We’ve learned a lot too. I mean, even the products we didn’t like all that much taught us something about ourselves, and our sexual response. It’s amazing what ya can learn when you’re paying attention. But I never thought we’d stick around for as long as we have.”
Denise: “Every time we think it’s time to hang up our Review Crew mantle Dr Dick draws us back in with another smutty proposition. He is such a charmer.”
Ken: “Today we’re gonna talk about two different, but very similar cockrings from Perfect Fit Brand. The similarities include size, shape, texture and color. The difference is in the elasticity and how snug the constriction.”
Denise: “Ken has at least a dozen different cockrings. I used to think this was silly and excessive, but now I know better. There is a bewildering array of cockrings on the market these days. The Dr Dick Review Crew has reviewed many different kinds. Look for the Category pull-down menu in the sidebar of drdicksextoyreviews.com and look for the category ‘Cockrings’. Dr Dick even has a very helpful posting called Cockring Crash Course.”
Ken: “Thanks for mentioning that, Denise. Ya know there are still a lot of guys out there, straight guys mostly I’m sorry to say, that don’t know the first thing about a cockring. This amazes me, because a cockring is a man’s best friend.”
Denise: “When Ken wears a cockring, his erection is stronger, harder, and longer lasting. He tells me his penis is more sensitive too. Of course, I enjoy the benefits of his stiff stiffy as much as he does.”
Ken: “It’s true! I’m rarely concerned about erection problems that seem to frequently plague other guys, because I always have a cockring near to hand. That way I can avoid the pharmaceuticals like Viagra and Levitra.”
Denise: “And I think cockrings look totally hot too, so there’s that. Ok, let’s talk about the two rings we have today.”
Ken: “Right! The first is the beefy Cruiser Cock Ring. It’s by far my favorite. But I was leery at first. I like easy on — easy off cockrings, like this one, because I hate fiddling with a lot of the adjustable ones that are out there. And the non-adjustable ones; well, they’re fine, but you have to have an exact fit or they are ineffective. But the problem with most of the one-size-fits-all rings is that they don’t provide the necessary constriction, which is the whole reason for having a cock ring in the first place. The Cruiser Cock Ring is different from all the other stretchy one-size-fits-all rings I’ve tried, because even though it is remarkably stretchy, it also has some really effective constriction capacity. And when it comes to cockrings, I prefer a snug fit.”
Denise: “Do you mind if I chime into this manly discourse and say that the Cruiser Cock Ring is absolutely adorable? It looks like a fat little doughnut!”
Ken: “Actually, it looks like a little hot rod tire, not a doughnut. It even has tread marks on the outer circumference, for god’s sake. Women!”
Denise: “I stand corrected. Men!”
Ken: “The Cruiser Cock Ring is super easy to put on, just stretch the ring between your fingers with each hand and simply pull it over your cock and balls. You won’t believe how comfortable the Cruiser Cock Ring feels. And like Denise said earlier, it makes sex much more enjoyable for her as well as me. The Cruiser Cock Ring is made of a proprietary material called PF Blend. It is a combination of silicone and TPR (thermoplastic rubber). The Cruiser Cock Ring is safe with all lubes. And it is easy to clean with mild soap and water.”
Denise: “I like that it’s phthalate-free, nonporous, and hypoallergenic.”
Ken: “The second ring we have to show you is the Silaskin Cruiser Cock Ring. It looks pretty much like its beefy brother, but it is made of a slightly different blend of material. While it too is a proprietary blend of silicone and TPR (called Silaskin), this material is even stretchier than the Cruiser Cock Ring. It is irresistibly soft and comes in both black and frosted.”
Denise: “Mmmm, like a soft squishy frosted doughnut!”
Ken: “See how you are? Like I was saying, the Silaskin Cruiser Cock Ring is a lot stretcher than its brother. If you’re one of those guys who like cockring with a more relaxed fit, then this one’s for you.”
Denise: “I’d like to say a few words to the women in our audience, if I may. Ladies, I hope you haven’t tuned out this review just because it’s a product for men. That would be a big mistake. Before I met Ken I knew nothing about cockrings. None of the boyfriends I had before Ken had ever used one. But, now that I look back on those years, there were certainly plenty of opportunities when a cockring would have saved the day, if you know what I mean. That’s why I believe that if you are informed about cockrings, their use, and their effectiveness in getting and keeping an erection, you might be just the right person to introduce your man to the wonderful world of cockrings.”
Ken: “That’s such a good point. Sometimes us men folk don’t know what’s good for us till the women in our lives tell us.”
Denise: “I’m so glad to hear you say that!”
Complete Article HERE!
Hey sex fans!
Welcome to this our latest edition of Product Review Friday. Today we feature the second of the two products sent to us by that sizzlin’ hot company, Spare Parts Hardware.
But wait, you didn’t miss the first of our reviews, did you? Well not to worry if you did, because you can find it all our previous reviews archived on my Product Review site, Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews. You’ll find our first Spare Parts Hardware review HERE:
Today we welcome back Dr Dick Review Crew member, Carlos. We’ve missed you sir and we’re so glad you’re back with us.
Deuce Male Harness – $139.99
Thanks, Dr Dick, it’s good to be back.
Those of you who follow my reviews may recall that way back in October 2007, when I participated in my first review; I mentioned I was having some prostate problems. I’ve been calling attention to that issue ever since. Well, earlier this year, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer and soon there after I went under the knife. I had a radical prostatectomy, which removed my prostate gland as well as and some of the surrounding tissue.
Like my Dr Dick Review Crew colleague, Angie, who was diagnosed with lymphoma over a year ago, I’ve been struggling to regain a sense of my sexual-self post surgery. No one; not my doctors, not my nurses, not anyone in the cancer support group I attend ever talks about sex and sexuality post diagnosis and treatment. It’s criminal really.
The surgery impacted every aspect of my sex life — with my myself, with my wife and the periodic connections I used to have with some of my men friends. Thank god I’ve been able to count on Dr Dick to help me through this, because if I had to do this alone I don’t see how I would have made it.
I want to repeat something Angie said. “There is precious little information about sex and sexuality available to cancer survivors. No one seemed to be capable of speaking clearly and unambiguously about how a cancer diagnosis and treatment impacts a person’s intimate life. This conspiracy of silence has got to stop!”
Since the surgery I haven’t had a full erection. Dr Dick tells me that I may regain that capacity with time. I also no longer have an ejaculation. That Dr Dick tells me is gone for good. That really bums me out, but I can still have an orgasm, so I’m really happy for that. Dr Dick gave me some exercises to help me with the arousal phase of my sexual response cycle, mostly it masturbation sorts of things. He also suggested that rather than going without partnered sex, I could try a strap on. Hell, I didn’t even know there were strap ons for men. As you can see, I had a lot to learn.
And this is what gets me to the fantastic Deuce Male Harness that I want to tell you about today. It looks and wears just like a jockstrap. It’s completely adjustable so it always fits perfectly. It’s made of a very sensual fabric. And it’s completely machine washable. Oh, and did I mention it is smokin’ hot? It really bolsters my sexual self-confidence. And that’s about the best therapy there is.
Ok, so let’s take a closer look at the Deuce starting with the fabric. Like I mentioned earlier, it’s soft, silky and body hugging. It’s a nylon and spandex blend, which makes it stretchy and durable. If you’re trying to picture it in your mind’s eye think a quality swimsuit material. All the adjustment sliders are made of a durable hard plastic.
The front panel is super functional. The pouch, just like a jock, cradles your own equipment. If you’re gonna just use a dildo or dong with the Deuce. There is a built-in O-ring to stabilize your dong of choice. But here’s the BIG plus; there is an opening below the O-ring that allows you to slip you’re your cock through so that you can use your own johnson along with the dildo. This is ideal for double penetration; or if you simply want to experiment with a bigger dildo than your own cock; or if you want to keep pleasuring your partner after you shoot your load. Ya see, there are lots of reasons a guy might want to use a strap on even if his own unit works perfectly well.
Unlike the more traditional leather harnesses, the Deuce is really sporty looking. The wide waistband, with the attractive Spare Parts Hardware logo on it, adjusts using velcro. There’s also a second set of adjusting straps on the waistband to gain precision snugness. Even the leg straps are adjustable.
You can use a lot of different kinds and sizes of dongs and dildos, just as long as the ones you choose have a base. And putting the dildo or dong in place is super easy, the O-ring is very accommodating.
Don’t be afraid of using lots of lube, because as I mentioned earlier you just pop the Deuce in the washer and you’re done with the cleanup. Don’t even think of trying that with a conventional leather harness.
The Deuce comes with a zippered storage bag. And there’s even a pocket in the bag for condoms and/or a small bottle of lube. It’s idea for travel.